FUCK me.
Goddamn me for a fool. *shifts uncomfortably* This has been a case of getting exactly what you thought you wanted and then discovering that it's not what you wanted at all. O_o;;;
Basically Scot and I are now sort of dating, or, as I told a coworker tonight, "a little more than friends." I still like him, actually...it's just that... this relationship is going to go nowhere...I can just tell that. I cannot see myself marrying this man and I just cannot bring myself to be in a relationship with no potential to be anything more than a fling. At least, I really would rather not. I feel dishonest. Does that make any sense? It also doesn't help that he seems to have become inordinately attatched to me. He called me when I was driving home from dropping him off at home tonight, just to talk to me. o_O I'm like... "uh.... hi?"
It's not the age gap, so much as the fact that we're at different points in life and probably going to be in very different places. It's more, I feel funky dating period, not so much that I necessarily feel funky dating Scot. Though I do feel like that aside from working at Bob Evans, reading a lot of the same books, and watching a lot of the same movies, we have next to nothing in common. O_O;;; He called me while I was at work tonight and I called him back, and met him and a friend of his at this bar. And the whole time I was there all I could do was look at him and look around and think to myself, "What the hell am I doing?"
And I feel retarded because I was all excited that he called me and that we were hanging out and that *ahem* well never mind that, but now I'm like.... *Monty Python voice* Yay. *eyes shift* And it doesn't help that apparently people at work now know that something is going on, and I even stupid;y confirmed it to one girl *bangs head against wall* And so now that I want to break it off it's going to be EVEN MORE RETARDED THAN IT WAS BEFORE. At least he's leaving for another restaurant soon, so I won't have to work with him. Thank God for small blessings.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't feel bad about anything for myself. I'm like, "Eh, whatever." But I feel bad for his end. And my coworkers. I don't need to be uncomfortable at work thankyouverymuch. *bangs head against wall more and decides to go to bed*
Joseph and Mary mother of God what is WRONG WITH ME?
Basically Scot and I are now sort of dating, or, as I told a coworker tonight, "a little more than friends." I still like him, actually...it's just that... this relationship is going to go nowhere...I can just tell that. I cannot see myself marrying this man and I just cannot bring myself to be in a relationship with no potential to be anything more than a fling. At least, I really would rather not. I feel dishonest. Does that make any sense? It also doesn't help that he seems to have become inordinately attatched to me. He called me when I was driving home from dropping him off at home tonight, just to talk to me. o_O I'm like... "uh.... hi?"
It's not the age gap, so much as the fact that we're at different points in life and probably going to be in very different places. It's more, I feel funky dating period, not so much that I necessarily feel funky dating Scot. Though I do feel like that aside from working at Bob Evans, reading a lot of the same books, and watching a lot of the same movies, we have next to nothing in common. O_O;;; He called me while I was at work tonight and I called him back, and met him and a friend of his at this bar. And the whole time I was there all I could do was look at him and look around and think to myself, "What the hell am I doing?"
And I feel retarded because I was all excited that he called me and that we were hanging out and that *ahem* well never mind that, but now I'm like.... *Monty Python voice* Yay. *eyes shift* And it doesn't help that apparently people at work now know that something is going on, and I even stupid;y confirmed it to one girl *bangs head against wall* And so now that I want to break it off it's going to be EVEN MORE RETARDED THAN IT WAS BEFORE. At least he's leaving for another restaurant soon, so I won't have to work with him. Thank God for small blessings.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't feel bad about anything for myself. I'm like, "Eh, whatever." But I feel bad for his end. And my coworkers. I don't need to be uncomfortable at work thankyouverymuch. *bangs head against wall more and decides to go to bed*
Joseph and Mary mother of God what is WRONG WITH ME?