AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You're probably gonna wanna ignore this one, cuz it's a fangirly post, but OH MY GOD. Mary, read this, you'll die. DIE. Thank you SO MUCH Enigma, I'm totally gakking this from her OOC post in our game because IT IS HILARIOUS. She said it best:
I dare you to read this and NOT love Rufus.
"All of you girly singing boys: come out of the woodwork. Don't be scared, it's okay, you can sing. We'll start some sort of war between the gangsta rappers and the little singing boys."
"Apparently, when I was a baby, my mother was singing 'Old MacDonald' to me and I responded in the same key. That's when it started. Later on, we learned to sing rounds, then to play piano, all of which culminated in weekend variety shows for grandma."
"Beethoven said, 'What comes from the heart goes to the heart,' and whether you're talking about a classical composer or AC/DC, you can't fake it."
"But Sting's 16-year-old son is so gorgeous -- he brought him out last night -- now I'm dying to be friends with Sting so I can molest his children."
"Do you like my pants? They're like crushed vel-- vinyl or something."
"Down some boy's pants!" (when asked "What is your favorite journey?")
"Everybody's just so paranoid about everything."
"Everything I do, I feel is genius. Whether it is or it isn't."
"Frank Sinatra has passed on the torch to me. But little did he know that he'd be passing it on to a gay opera queen."
"I am a great force arriving here with my orchestra and 80 xylophones. Here we go! Look out!" (about his first album)
"I fantasized that I wanted to rescue [Melissa Auf der Maur] from a burning building. Once she was rescued, the fantasy sort of ended at that point." (Nerve Magazine)
"I had fantasies of saving the girl from the burning building while dressed as a Marine, but then I'd just drop her off at her place. The rescue was pretty much it. Opera was an escape from the fear and frustration I was feeling."
"I like to make the mundane fabulous whenever I can."
"I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War And Peace everyday."
"I met this guy, and it was one of those 'One look at him and you're dead' scenarios. That's only happened to me one time; I don't think you ever get more intense than that. He was totally unavailable and...you know the feeling. You know it will never work, and it'll end tragically, but you can't help yourself."
"I must admit, it's great being a poster boy!" (in Rolling Stone)
"I need to get this record released and rejoin my public. It must have been an awful two years without me."
"I really don't have a type. I'm pretty much across the board. I like young guys, but sometimes I feel like being rushed away by some older guy, and sometimes I like to have the whole football team over."
"I really fall for straight guys...I almost like it more. This is terrible but basically, I just don't want to be married. Unless it's really exciting. I just like the thrill of the chase more than getting the [prize] itself. I like to be a bit of the shit-disturber...the homewrecker, the whore, the bad guy."
"I started out with such a big head that I don't know how much bigger it could get. It's kinda like a cathedral space in there, just waiting to be filled."
"I think the only advice I could give is that a great song has blood and guts and life experience and that you really have to lay it all down on the line. Music is fun and wonderful and happy, but it also requires pain, and you have to go through the pain in order to feel happy again."
"I thought I'd do all these wonderful things and there'd be all these creative people, but it was like going to engineering school. There were great moments, like finally singing the 'Requiem' with an orchestra, but the academic setting was ultimately a dead end for me. Besides, all the cute boys were doing rock."
"I usually wake up around three and sit at the piano completely naked and play for two or three hours. That gets the juices flowing. Then I dress and go eat after starving myself. I wait until I'm completely delirious. I can't say that Twenty-Third Street is my favorite area, so I'd walk with my very low blood sugar all the way to Tompkins Square Park and, on the edge of death, order some pirogi. It's a good way to stay thin."
"I want everyone to live an alternative lifestyle in their own way. Alternative in that life is beautiful, and life is short. It goes by so quickly. One of the things I'm realizing right now is, where I am in my career, this moment, it seems like the blink of an eye from when i'd first started. And I remember there were moments -- within that blink of an eye -- when it felt like it was going to be an eternity before I had any success. Now that it's happening, it seems to go by so quickly. For my fans, or anyone who gets into my stuff, it's about enjoying the beauty of life now and not fretting about anything. Just look for that silver lining. That's my basic message for everyone."
"I want to arouse you...to my piece and my love..."
"I was in the forest jumping around daffodils while everyone was high on heroin."
"I was just sitting here thinking, what if I don't get the note...I'm just gonna make myself fuck up because I never do!"
"I went to see Moulin Rouge last night and I want to be in the sequel where Ewan McGregor realizes he's gay and we can do a duet together on top of the Eiffel Tower or something."
"I would have to say my hair." (when asked "Which of your accomplishments are you most proud of?")
"I, like, would run into walls and stuff. I was INSANE." (Talking about his childhood)
"I'd always written stories, many of which were downright florid. Once I started writing songs, however, it immediately helped me cut out a lot of the bullshit."
"I'd be hanging out in my bathrobe all day, stinky, just writing, and my mom allowed me to do this -- as long as I was writing songs. She said, 'As long as you're seriously working on music, I'll support you. Don't get a job, because if you work, it will crush you.'"
"I'd like to write a musical. I'd like to write an opera, a mass. But I want it to be done really well and right, and that requires either a solo-piano record or a 200-piece orchestra. And I'd love to do a Southern record, not set in New Orleans or anything — maybe Virginia. Have a big plantation with gay slaves or something. Something Gothic, involving a murder and some sort of affair with the stable boy. And a hoop dress."
"I'll probably be undressing constantly toward the end of my career."
"I'm kinda worried about my hair. I took a bath today. I hadn't washed it in a really long time. Is it fluffy? Let's hear it for the hair!"
"In St. Louis, I opened for Barenaked Ladies at this huge arena, and there were these guys in front of the stage yelling 'faggot.' It was just weird, because that had never happened before and I was unprepared. Plus, I didn't have my faggot-y redneck-repellant gear on that day!"
"In this song, I am a dwarf. With warts and a little dick and I wanna be friends with Thor, but he doesn't wanna be friends with me. So I'm pissed off. Isn't gay life, it's just like Valhalla all the time. Okay, and I might make mistakes, you know, and that's kinda funny." (about Rainbow Crossing)
"It was like being poisoned, intoxicated, hooked, I started spending all my mad money on opera recordings. The records themselves were so wonderful, these big box sets with librettos. You'd open them up and fall into this world where you didn't always know exactly what was going on, but you could imagine it because it was so visual. I'd found my calling: I would be a classical composer and revive opera."
"It's like David and Goliath: this record will be a well-polished stone thrown at the forehead of the seven-headed...um...four...five-headed monster known as the Backstreet Boys. How many of them are there?"
"I've developed into quite a swan. I'm one of those people that will probably look better and better as I get older -- until I drop dead of beauty."
"Keep rockin' in the free world!" (on btheretv)
"Let the little fairy in you fly!"
"Listening to hiphop, they feel like a target, and as for boy bands, where they're all 35: I intend to save girls from the peril of those big, slimy thugs."
"Looking at myself at a distance, naked, in a mirror: but only at a distance." (when asked "What excites you the most?")
"Madonna created a monster that sucks up souls. There was a time when singers were more into enlightening audiences than telling them what to wear."
"Master of the Universe." (when asked what the M in his name stood for)
"Melissa Auf der Maur and I grew up together. I was in love with her and she was in love with me when we were about twelve. We were the same height at that point, which was quite small. We were nervous and embarrassed and just never expressed it. The world was too fast for our love. She had a massive growth spurt and was two feet taller than I was the next year. She was developing all sort of little toys and suddenly I went from her true love to the mascot for her and her cool friends. I was her beast of burden. She had alond [?] when she needed little jobs done and then disappeared. We're friends now, though, of course."
"Monitors!!"
"More than anything I'd like to end hypocrisy. I hate hypocrisy, of all sorts. I hate people who are rich and pretend to be generous and I hate people who are poor and pretend to be rich." (when asked "What aspect of the world would you most like to change?")
"Mowing your lawn is against nature!" (in response to Rev. Sheldon's comment about homosexuality being against nature)
"My butt doesn't HAVE any complaints." (before singing Complainte De La Butte)
"My dad shies away from things a bit, and has an artistic integrity about not whoring himself. I've given up on that."
"My father played guitar and I always shunned it, but at parties, pianos were hard to come by. That's when I realized the guitar's appeal. I think my father's influence was always there under the surface, despite my having rejected it. He continues to influence me in unexpected ways."
"Oh, what was that? Here try that again...this time toss it and say RUFUS! That's always been my dream, to have girls to scream at me and be pummeled with roses."
"Oh...well, I just thought that with the overwhelming beauty and power of my voice, maybe it'd cracked...It happens all the time!" (after asking whether the bass had cracked)
"Okay, let's get this next song over with. I just want you guys to know that, when I wrote this song I was very delusional and have since lightened up." (about California)
"Okay, ready? Here we go..." (before almost EVERY song)
"Picture yourself: it's Elizabethan England. There's blood everywhere. But I'm alive, and you're alive, and we'll be King and Queen."
"PLEASE, PLEASE girls, say ONE of you will grow up to be an opera singer!"
"Someone called it 'modern standards.' Someone else called it 'popera.' I classify my music as entertainment. You're there; I'm the show. I'm here to serve you."
"Sorry, monitors, I don't mean to be...poopy. Anyway this next song I wrote for Gus Van Zandt and he better use it in his next fuckin' movie... I love him! I love him, I love everybody... This is about forbidden love of cowboys, 'cause you know they're all fuckin' each other the minute you turn your back. But the other thing is I don't mention male male, or female male, so it could be about two cows, too. Whatever, forbidden love in general. This is the premiere, oh fuck, do I even remember this song?" (before performing Leaving You)
"Thank you for putting up with my...Elizabeth Taylor tendencies."
"That was the perfect beginning to a complete failure." (when starting a song)
"That's the motto: whenever you're different than anybody, you'll stay ahead."
"The body parts...don't fit? Oh, THEY FIT!" (in response to Rev. Sheldon's comment about the "body parts not fitting" on Politically Incorrect)
"There's no life without humor. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable."
"This is a new and it's about California, where I made the record, about my experience there. And actually in the song it refers to a, there's a line that says 'yes I fell...okay, no um...isn't it true at the top peanut butter...ain't it a shame that at the top peanut and jam they served you, yes I fell for the streaker... Anyways, but the story behind that is that I was at...you never even heard this song so it doesn't even matter that I'm telling you this, but, um, but, but I was at Marilyn Manson's house, um, or no, his lawyer's house, sorry haha. But um, but he was there and they were throwing this big party and I was kinda hungry and said "oh" and I was in this mansion and there were lots of lawyers and rock stars and stuff and um, I went up to the food area, the dining room I guess that would be and um, went up there and they had peanut butter sandwiches and chips...and sparkling wine, and um, it was a real eye-opener. And then the streaker line is some guy took off all his clothes at the party just to make it a little more interesting, um, because needless to say it was Marilyn Manson's party and everyone was a little bit overdressed and um, and he took off all his clothes and I fell for him immediately and went after him and...whatever, I'm the one who fell for the naked guy. So that's the part of...this is in the song, okay." (intro to California)
"Wait, hold on, I gotta start the bridge again, I forgot the words. Uuh. 'Cause I was thinking of the naked boy." (again, intro to California)
"This next one is about a forbidden affair in the West. Doesn't have to be about boys or girls. Could be anyone: boys, girls, cowboys...cows," he said, getting a laugh. "Or about Bill Clinton and what's-his-name? Oh! I mean what's-her-name, that drag queen, Monica Lewinsky."
"Wanna do a mic check, Mommy?" (asking for his mom's help)
"When I was young I used to go to gay clubs...I wore spandex...I looked like such a slut..."
Where is the most exciting place you've ever had sex?: "It was in a car and it was really good and the windows got all fogged up and that was kind of hot." / What would you most likely be arrested for doing? "Having sex in a car!"
"Yeah, so I don't know what this song is about exactly, but its in french and very romantic...for Valentine's Day." -- Rufus before singing Quand Vous Mourez
"You guys are very...WHITE! You should get my black fans to come out and see me!" (at Summerfest)
"You'll never love me when I'm REALLY famous." (to Jimmy Fallon about fame)
Sources:
http://www.geocities.com/stefiswan/rufusquotes.html
http://www.britishpunk.com/Rufus/index.html
http://www.melissaaufdermaur.org/quotes_other.php
It's stuff like this that makes me want to turn into one of those scary rabid fangirls. Quick, stop me!! Dammit, I DO NOT STALK MY FAVORITE MUSICIANS. *collapses*
I dare you to read this and NOT love Rufus.
"All of you girly singing boys: come out of the woodwork. Don't be scared, it's okay, you can sing. We'll start some sort of war between the gangsta rappers and the little singing boys."
"Apparently, when I was a baby, my mother was singing 'Old MacDonald' to me and I responded in the same key. That's when it started. Later on, we learned to sing rounds, then to play piano, all of which culminated in weekend variety shows for grandma."
"Beethoven said, 'What comes from the heart goes to the heart,' and whether you're talking about a classical composer or AC/DC, you can't fake it."
"But Sting's 16-year-old son is so gorgeous -- he brought him out last night -- now I'm dying to be friends with Sting so I can molest his children."
"Do you like my pants? They're like crushed vel-- vinyl or something."
"Down some boy's pants!" (when asked "What is your favorite journey?")
"Everybody's just so paranoid about everything."
"Everything I do, I feel is genius. Whether it is or it isn't."
"Frank Sinatra has passed on the torch to me. But little did he know that he'd be passing it on to a gay opera queen."
"I am a great force arriving here with my orchestra and 80 xylophones. Here we go! Look out!" (about his first album)
"I fantasized that I wanted to rescue [Melissa Auf der Maur] from a burning building. Once she was rescued, the fantasy sort of ended at that point." (Nerve Magazine)
"I had fantasies of saving the girl from the burning building while dressed as a Marine, but then I'd just drop her off at her place. The rescue was pretty much it. Opera was an escape from the fear and frustration I was feeling."
"I like to make the mundane fabulous whenever I can."
"I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War And Peace everyday."
"I met this guy, and it was one of those 'One look at him and you're dead' scenarios. That's only happened to me one time; I don't think you ever get more intense than that. He was totally unavailable and...you know the feeling. You know it will never work, and it'll end tragically, but you can't help yourself."
"I must admit, it's great being a poster boy!" (in Rolling Stone)
"I need to get this record released and rejoin my public. It must have been an awful two years without me."
"I really don't have a type. I'm pretty much across the board. I like young guys, but sometimes I feel like being rushed away by some older guy, and sometimes I like to have the whole football team over."
"I really fall for straight guys...I almost like it more. This is terrible but basically, I just don't want to be married. Unless it's really exciting. I just like the thrill of the chase more than getting the [prize] itself. I like to be a bit of the shit-disturber...the homewrecker, the whore, the bad guy."
"I started out with such a big head that I don't know how much bigger it could get. It's kinda like a cathedral space in there, just waiting to be filled."
"I think the only advice I could give is that a great song has blood and guts and life experience and that you really have to lay it all down on the line. Music is fun and wonderful and happy, but it also requires pain, and you have to go through the pain in order to feel happy again."
"I thought I'd do all these wonderful things and there'd be all these creative people, but it was like going to engineering school. There were great moments, like finally singing the 'Requiem' with an orchestra, but the academic setting was ultimately a dead end for me. Besides, all the cute boys were doing rock."
"I usually wake up around three and sit at the piano completely naked and play for two or three hours. That gets the juices flowing. Then I dress and go eat after starving myself. I wait until I'm completely delirious. I can't say that Twenty-Third Street is my favorite area, so I'd walk with my very low blood sugar all the way to Tompkins Square Park and, on the edge of death, order some pirogi. It's a good way to stay thin."
"I want everyone to live an alternative lifestyle in their own way. Alternative in that life is beautiful, and life is short. It goes by so quickly. One of the things I'm realizing right now is, where I am in my career, this moment, it seems like the blink of an eye from when i'd first started. And I remember there were moments -- within that blink of an eye -- when it felt like it was going to be an eternity before I had any success. Now that it's happening, it seems to go by so quickly. For my fans, or anyone who gets into my stuff, it's about enjoying the beauty of life now and not fretting about anything. Just look for that silver lining. That's my basic message for everyone."
"I want to arouse you...to my piece and my love..."
"I was in the forest jumping around daffodils while everyone was high on heroin."
"I was just sitting here thinking, what if I don't get the note...I'm just gonna make myself fuck up because I never do!"
"I went to see Moulin Rouge last night and I want to be in the sequel where Ewan McGregor realizes he's gay and we can do a duet together on top of the Eiffel Tower or something."
"I would have to say my hair." (when asked "Which of your accomplishments are you most proud of?")
"I, like, would run into walls and stuff. I was INSANE." (Talking about his childhood)
"I'd always written stories, many of which were downright florid. Once I started writing songs, however, it immediately helped me cut out a lot of the bullshit."
"I'd be hanging out in my bathrobe all day, stinky, just writing, and my mom allowed me to do this -- as long as I was writing songs. She said, 'As long as you're seriously working on music, I'll support you. Don't get a job, because if you work, it will crush you.'"
"I'd like to write a musical. I'd like to write an opera, a mass. But I want it to be done really well and right, and that requires either a solo-piano record or a 200-piece orchestra. And I'd love to do a Southern record, not set in New Orleans or anything — maybe Virginia. Have a big plantation with gay slaves or something. Something Gothic, involving a murder and some sort of affair with the stable boy. And a hoop dress."
"I'll probably be undressing constantly toward the end of my career."
"I'm kinda worried about my hair. I took a bath today. I hadn't washed it in a really long time. Is it fluffy? Let's hear it for the hair!"
"In St. Louis, I opened for Barenaked Ladies at this huge arena, and there were these guys in front of the stage yelling 'faggot.' It was just weird, because that had never happened before and I was unprepared. Plus, I didn't have my faggot-y redneck-repellant gear on that day!"
"In this song, I am a dwarf. With warts and a little dick and I wanna be friends with Thor, but he doesn't wanna be friends with me. So I'm pissed off. Isn't gay life, it's just like Valhalla all the time. Okay, and I might make mistakes, you know, and that's kinda funny." (about Rainbow Crossing)
"It was like being poisoned, intoxicated, hooked, I started spending all my mad money on opera recordings. The records themselves were so wonderful, these big box sets with librettos. You'd open them up and fall into this world where you didn't always know exactly what was going on, but you could imagine it because it was so visual. I'd found my calling: I would be a classical composer and revive opera."
"It's like David and Goliath: this record will be a well-polished stone thrown at the forehead of the seven-headed...um...four...five-headed monster known as the Backstreet Boys. How many of them are there?"
"I've developed into quite a swan. I'm one of those people that will probably look better and better as I get older -- until I drop dead of beauty."
"Keep rockin' in the free world!" (on btheretv)
"Let the little fairy in you fly!"
"Listening to hiphop, they feel like a target, and as for boy bands, where they're all 35: I intend to save girls from the peril of those big, slimy thugs."
"Looking at myself at a distance, naked, in a mirror: but only at a distance." (when asked "What excites you the most?")
"Madonna created a monster that sucks up souls. There was a time when singers were more into enlightening audiences than telling them what to wear."
"Master of the Universe." (when asked what the M in his name stood for)
"Melissa Auf der Maur and I grew up together. I was in love with her and she was in love with me when we were about twelve. We were the same height at that point, which was quite small. We were nervous and embarrassed and just never expressed it. The world was too fast for our love. She had a massive growth spurt and was two feet taller than I was the next year. She was developing all sort of little toys and suddenly I went from her true love to the mascot for her and her cool friends. I was her beast of burden. She had alond [?] when she needed little jobs done and then disappeared. We're friends now, though, of course."
"Monitors!!"
"More than anything I'd like to end hypocrisy. I hate hypocrisy, of all sorts. I hate people who are rich and pretend to be generous and I hate people who are poor and pretend to be rich." (when asked "What aspect of the world would you most like to change?")
"Mowing your lawn is against nature!" (in response to Rev. Sheldon's comment about homosexuality being against nature)
"My butt doesn't HAVE any complaints." (before singing Complainte De La Butte)
"My dad shies away from things a bit, and has an artistic integrity about not whoring himself. I've given up on that."
"My father played guitar and I always shunned it, but at parties, pianos were hard to come by. That's when I realized the guitar's appeal. I think my father's influence was always there under the surface, despite my having rejected it. He continues to influence me in unexpected ways."
"Oh, what was that? Here try that again...this time toss it and say RUFUS! That's always been my dream, to have girls to scream at me and be pummeled with roses."
"Oh...well, I just thought that with the overwhelming beauty and power of my voice, maybe it'd cracked...It happens all the time!" (after asking whether the bass had cracked)
"Okay, let's get this next song over with. I just want you guys to know that, when I wrote this song I was very delusional and have since lightened up." (about California)
"Okay, ready? Here we go..." (before almost EVERY song)
"Picture yourself: it's Elizabethan England. There's blood everywhere. But I'm alive, and you're alive, and we'll be King and Queen."
"PLEASE, PLEASE girls, say ONE of you will grow up to be an opera singer!"
"Someone called it 'modern standards.' Someone else called it 'popera.' I classify my music as entertainment. You're there; I'm the show. I'm here to serve you."
"Sorry, monitors, I don't mean to be...poopy. Anyway this next song I wrote for Gus Van Zandt and he better use it in his next fuckin' movie... I love him! I love him, I love everybody... This is about forbidden love of cowboys, 'cause you know they're all fuckin' each other the minute you turn your back. But the other thing is I don't mention male male, or female male, so it could be about two cows, too. Whatever, forbidden love in general. This is the premiere, oh fuck, do I even remember this song?" (before performing Leaving You)
"Thank you for putting up with my...Elizabeth Taylor tendencies."
"That was the perfect beginning to a complete failure." (when starting a song)
"That's the motto: whenever you're different than anybody, you'll stay ahead."
"The body parts...don't fit? Oh, THEY FIT!" (in response to Rev. Sheldon's comment about the "body parts not fitting" on Politically Incorrect)
"There's no life without humor. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable."
"This is a new and it's about California, where I made the record, about my experience there. And actually in the song it refers to a, there's a line that says 'yes I fell...okay, no um...isn't it true at the top peanut butter...ain't it a shame that at the top peanut and jam they served you, yes I fell for the streaker... Anyways, but the story behind that is that I was at...you never even heard this song so it doesn't even matter that I'm telling you this, but, um, but, but I was at Marilyn Manson's house, um, or no, his lawyer's house, sorry haha. But um, but he was there and they were throwing this big party and I was kinda hungry and said "oh" and I was in this mansion and there were lots of lawyers and rock stars and stuff and um, I went up to the food area, the dining room I guess that would be and um, went up there and they had peanut butter sandwiches and chips...and sparkling wine, and um, it was a real eye-opener. And then the streaker line is some guy took off all his clothes at the party just to make it a little more interesting, um, because needless to say it was Marilyn Manson's party and everyone was a little bit overdressed and um, and he took off all his clothes and I fell for him immediately and went after him and...whatever, I'm the one who fell for the naked guy. So that's the part of...this is in the song, okay." (intro to California)
"Wait, hold on, I gotta start the bridge again, I forgot the words. Uuh. 'Cause I was thinking of the naked boy." (again, intro to California)
"This next one is about a forbidden affair in the West. Doesn't have to be about boys or girls. Could be anyone: boys, girls, cowboys...cows," he said, getting a laugh. "Or about Bill Clinton and what's-his-name? Oh! I mean what's-her-name, that drag queen, Monica Lewinsky."
"Wanna do a mic check, Mommy?" (asking for his mom's help)
"When I was young I used to go to gay clubs...I wore spandex...I looked like such a slut..."
Where is the most exciting place you've ever had sex?: "It was in a car and it was really good and the windows got all fogged up and that was kind of hot." / What would you most likely be arrested for doing? "Having sex in a car!"
"Yeah, so I don't know what this song is about exactly, but its in french and very romantic...for Valentine's Day." -- Rufus before singing Quand Vous Mourez
"You guys are very...WHITE! You should get my black fans to come out and see me!" (at Summerfest)
"You'll never love me when I'm REALLY famous." (to Jimmy Fallon about fame)
Sources:
http://www.geocities.com/stefiswan/rufusquotes.html
http://www.britishpunk.com/Rufus/index.html
http://www.melissaaufdermaur.org/quotes_other.php
It's stuff like this that makes me want to turn into one of those scary rabid fangirls. Quick, stop me!! Dammit, I DO NOT STALK MY FAVORITE MUSICIANS. *collapses*