Remind Me How You Laid Us Down
Title: Remind Me How You Laid Us Down
Author
feathertofly
Rating: PG
Pairings: Sam/OFC, Sam/Jess
Warnings: Character Death, Angst seeping out the sides. Oh, and het. If that can be considered a warning?
A/N: Sam's not mine, Jess isn't mine, Dean is only mine in my dreams. Kaella is, though, and I will play with her as much as I want. *evil laugh* Also, cut and title from Saliva's Rest In Pieces.
Summary: Jessica is gone. And it's not like Sam's not trying. Takes place early/mid season one.
Sam eyed the girl as she slid next to him.
"Name's Kaella. I'm a Virgo, so I need to know right up front if you're a Leo... No offense, but Leos are kinda dicks."
Sam laughed. "I'm actually not sure. May fourth, what can you tell me about myself?" Kaella's face broke into a smile, delighted he was playing along with her. He wasn't quite sure why he was playing along, aside from this girl was gorgeous... And just his 'type', as Dean would say it. Pretty, brunette, and fairly intelligent so far... Aside from the whole astrology thing. But there was a sparkle in her eyes that that made him wonder what she was really playing at.
"Oh, good. You're reliable, sometimes stubborn, or if it's a good day, persistent." That brought a smile to Sam's face. He knew some people who would definitely agree with the evaluation, least of all his family. "Of course, you're also pretty jealous, and you don't let things go. But it's your lucky day, mister..." Kaella leaned forward. "My horoscope said that Taurus was my best match today."
Sam burst into laughter. "That pick up line work often?"
"I'll let you know when I get a response." She really did have a great smile. Sam stuck out his hand.
"I'm Sam. Winchester." Kaella's eyes grew wide, and she staggered back a step.
"Oh no... You're not Dean Winchester's brother, are you?" Figures. Dean had probaby screwed the hell out of her last time through town... lucky bastard.
Kaella must've read his mind, because she quickly put a hand on his arm. "It's just that... Well, let's just say we had a run in a few minutes ago. He assured me he could show me the time of my life, but I declined." That sure brought a smile to Sam's face. Not often a girl would turn down his brother. Even rarer that they would follow it up with coming over to him. This made him give her a closer look. Any girl with enough will power to turn down Dean must be worth it.
She was shorter- but to Ginormatron, as Dean called him, everyone was short- with brunette hair and a warm smile, all perfect teeth and lips that were just begging to be bitten. Nice style, conservative without screaming prude. Everything about her attracted him, from the quick wit to the ass that somebody up there must've spent a little extra time perfecting. There's no reason that he shouldn't go for it, have a little fun. It'd sure be nice to rub it in Dean's face that there was someone on the planet that preferred him.
One sentence, that's all it would take. It was clear in Kaella's face, all she needed was that and she'd be his for the night at the very least. Though, in his experience, girls like would only get better as time went on. Hell, from what he had seen, he could very easily fall in love with her.
"Sam? Anybody in there?" Kaella was waiting for a response to something she had said. He hadn't meant to be such a space cadet, much more of his charming tactics would probably get her running back to Dean. But sometimes his mind ran away from him...
"Sorry, what?"
She laughed it off. "Well, out loud I was asking if you wanted to buy me a drink," she slid a bit closer to Sam, close enough that he could breathe in the hint of jasmine. "But I was telepathically telling you that, honestly, I'd probably take you home stone cold sober."
C'on, Sam... Make your move. Over Kaella's shoulder he could see Dean, watching him, hoping that finally his brother would get some nookie and loosen up.
Sam focused his attention on the girl in front of him. She was obviously waiting for an answer, something to tell her that she hadn't misread him. And she hadn't, really... All it would take would be for him to move a fraction of an inch closer, to kiss her.
"I would really, really like that." Sam said. Kaella exhaled, and flashed him a smile flooded with relief and excitement. She reached over to get her bag, but Sam grabbed her wrist. "But I can't. Believe me when I say, I really wish that I could. But there's... Someone." He braced himself for a slap, a disgusted glance, anything. Instead she just tilted her head and looked at him strangely.
"Someone else." Sam nodded. "Someone that you haven't let go of, even she's not here? She hasn't been for a while?" Sam drew in his chin. How could she... "I've been there." She clarified. "Done the whole, pretending to move on thing, when in reality... Well, you never really recover from something like that, do you? The memories never leave. You see them everywhere, still make plans. Hell, sometimes you call their phone number, before you forget that they won't pick up. She's holding you back, as surely as if she was physically here."
He hadn't expected her to be so observant. And because of that, Sam had no way to steel himself for what would happen. The pain completely blinded him, for a good thirty seconds. All he could see was Jess. Her long blonde hair, sprawling across her pillow. Her infectious laugh, that he could never stay mad at for long. The smell of her, warm vanilla even when she hadn't put on perfume. Everything hit him like an anvil. Six months, and it still slapped him in the face.
When he came to, Kaella's face showed a shadow of what he had just felt. "What was her name?" She asked softly.
"Jessica." He couldn't bring himself to say anything more, all he knew was that he had to get out of that bar right that minute. Dean could find his own way home.
But Kaella didn't let go of him just yet. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and whispered in his ear, "She must've been a hell of a woman to do that to someone like you, Sam Winchester."
***
When Sam got back to the hotel, he crashed on the bed. He couldn't believe what just happened. Six months, you'd think it was enough time to not break down like a baby whenever he thought of Jess. But he saw her everywhere. Every girl who walked by with long, blonde curly hair. Every time he heard someone say her name [and do you have any idea how many Jessicas there are in the country? ALOT.] And the dreams... The dreams were the worst. He dreamed about her.
The good dreams were the worst. Dreaming about her smiling, her laughter, visiting her at the coffee shop. Holding her close as she slept, the way she held him when he'd wake up, sweating and terrified from a nightmare. She didn't pry, never asked why Sam was so afraid of his past catching up with him. Just let him feel things out, knowing that he would tell her when he was ready.
He was ready now.
The bad dreams were the worst. Dreaming about the last time he had seen her, hanging from the ceiling. Trying to scream, but not even being able to make a sound. Her white nightgown slashed, blood seeping from her beautiful tan body. There was no way to escape the look on her face. It didn't condemn, that would be too easy. It wasn't even pure terror, that would be too understandable. It was fear, pain, and love. Something in her face that she was trying to convey without being able to get the sound out. He knew Jess died knowing he loved her, but what else was in that look?
A scene that he relived every night. He had for days before it happened, and it would haunt him for years to come.
**
The next morning couldn't come fast enough. Somehow Dean had found his way home, and when he saw Sam's face, he knew better than to ask questions. But as they were packing up the room, before Dean checked them out, he put a hand on Sam's shoulder.
"It'll pass, Sammy. Just give it time."
Author
feathertoflyRating: PG
Pairings: Sam/OFC, Sam/Jess
Warnings: Character Death, Angst seeping out the sides. Oh, and het. If that can be considered a warning?
A/N: Sam's not mine, Jess isn't mine, Dean is only mine in my dreams. Kaella is, though, and I will play with her as much as I want. *evil laugh* Also, cut and title from Saliva's Rest In Pieces.
Summary: Jessica is gone. And it's not like Sam's not trying. Takes place early/mid season one.
Sam eyed the girl as she slid next to him.
"Name's Kaella. I'm a Virgo, so I need to know right up front if you're a Leo... No offense, but Leos are kinda dicks."
Sam laughed. "I'm actually not sure. May fourth, what can you tell me about myself?" Kaella's face broke into a smile, delighted he was playing along with her. He wasn't quite sure why he was playing along, aside from this girl was gorgeous... And just his 'type', as Dean would say it. Pretty, brunette, and fairly intelligent so far... Aside from the whole astrology thing. But there was a sparkle in her eyes that that made him wonder what she was really playing at.
"Oh, good. You're reliable, sometimes stubborn, or if it's a good day, persistent." That brought a smile to Sam's face. He knew some people who would definitely agree with the evaluation, least of all his family. "Of course, you're also pretty jealous, and you don't let things go. But it's your lucky day, mister..." Kaella leaned forward. "My horoscope said that Taurus was my best match today."
Sam burst into laughter. "That pick up line work often?"
"I'll let you know when I get a response." She really did have a great smile. Sam stuck out his hand.
"I'm Sam. Winchester." Kaella's eyes grew wide, and she staggered back a step.
"Oh no... You're not Dean Winchester's brother, are you?" Figures. Dean had probaby screwed the hell out of her last time through town... lucky bastard.
Kaella must've read his mind, because she quickly put a hand on his arm. "It's just that... Well, let's just say we had a run in a few minutes ago. He assured me he could show me the time of my life, but I declined." That sure brought a smile to Sam's face. Not often a girl would turn down his brother. Even rarer that they would follow it up with coming over to him. This made him give her a closer look. Any girl with enough will power to turn down Dean must be worth it.
She was shorter- but to Ginormatron, as Dean called him, everyone was short- with brunette hair and a warm smile, all perfect teeth and lips that were just begging to be bitten. Nice style, conservative without screaming prude. Everything about her attracted him, from the quick wit to the ass that somebody up there must've spent a little extra time perfecting. There's no reason that he shouldn't go for it, have a little fun. It'd sure be nice to rub it in Dean's face that there was someone on the planet that preferred him.
One sentence, that's all it would take. It was clear in Kaella's face, all she needed was that and she'd be his for the night at the very least. Though, in his experience, girls like would only get better as time went on. Hell, from what he had seen, he could very easily fall in love with her.
"Sam? Anybody in there?" Kaella was waiting for a response to something she had said. He hadn't meant to be such a space cadet, much more of his charming tactics would probably get her running back to Dean. But sometimes his mind ran away from him...
"Sorry, what?"
She laughed it off. "Well, out loud I was asking if you wanted to buy me a drink," she slid a bit closer to Sam, close enough that he could breathe in the hint of jasmine. "But I was telepathically telling you that, honestly, I'd probably take you home stone cold sober."
C'on, Sam... Make your move. Over Kaella's shoulder he could see Dean, watching him, hoping that finally his brother would get some nookie and loosen up.
Sam focused his attention on the girl in front of him. She was obviously waiting for an answer, something to tell her that she hadn't misread him. And she hadn't, really... All it would take would be for him to move a fraction of an inch closer, to kiss her.
"I would really, really like that." Sam said. Kaella exhaled, and flashed him a smile flooded with relief and excitement. She reached over to get her bag, but Sam grabbed her wrist. "But I can't. Believe me when I say, I really wish that I could. But there's... Someone." He braced himself for a slap, a disgusted glance, anything. Instead she just tilted her head and looked at him strangely.
"Someone else." Sam nodded. "Someone that you haven't let go of, even she's not here? She hasn't been for a while?" Sam drew in his chin. How could she... "I've been there." She clarified. "Done the whole, pretending to move on thing, when in reality... Well, you never really recover from something like that, do you? The memories never leave. You see them everywhere, still make plans. Hell, sometimes you call their phone number, before you forget that they won't pick up. She's holding you back, as surely as if she was physically here."
He hadn't expected her to be so observant. And because of that, Sam had no way to steel himself for what would happen. The pain completely blinded him, for a good thirty seconds. All he could see was Jess. Her long blonde hair, sprawling across her pillow. Her infectious laugh, that he could never stay mad at for long. The smell of her, warm vanilla even when she hadn't put on perfume. Everything hit him like an anvil. Six months, and it still slapped him in the face.
When he came to, Kaella's face showed a shadow of what he had just felt. "What was her name?" She asked softly.
"Jessica." He couldn't bring himself to say anything more, all he knew was that he had to get out of that bar right that minute. Dean could find his own way home.
But Kaella didn't let go of him just yet. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and whispered in his ear, "She must've been a hell of a woman to do that to someone like you, Sam Winchester."
***
When Sam got back to the hotel, he crashed on the bed. He couldn't believe what just happened. Six months, you'd think it was enough time to not break down like a baby whenever he thought of Jess. But he saw her everywhere. Every girl who walked by with long, blonde curly hair. Every time he heard someone say her name [and do you have any idea how many Jessicas there are in the country? ALOT.] And the dreams... The dreams were the worst. He dreamed about her.
The good dreams were the worst. Dreaming about her smiling, her laughter, visiting her at the coffee shop. Holding her close as she slept, the way she held him when he'd wake up, sweating and terrified from a nightmare. She didn't pry, never asked why Sam was so afraid of his past catching up with him. Just let him feel things out, knowing that he would tell her when he was ready.
He was ready now.
The bad dreams were the worst. Dreaming about the last time he had seen her, hanging from the ceiling. Trying to scream, but not even being able to make a sound. Her white nightgown slashed, blood seeping from her beautiful tan body. There was no way to escape the look on her face. It didn't condemn, that would be too easy. It wasn't even pure terror, that would be too understandable. It was fear, pain, and love. Something in her face that she was trying to convey without being able to get the sound out. He knew Jess died knowing he loved her, but what else was in that look?
A scene that he relived every night. He had for days before it happened, and it would haunt him for years to come.
**
The next morning couldn't come fast enough. Somehow Dean had found his way home, and when he saw Sam's face, he knew better than to ask questions. But as they were packing up the room, before Dean checked them out, he put a hand on Sam's shoulder.
"It'll pass, Sammy. Just give it time."