Brain buzzing, sleep desired.
It feels like a night for staying up, for watching to see if the sunrise is worth capturing on camera, talking and reading and idling the hours away. But travel and sleep pull at my body and for once I just don't want caffeine.
Tomorrow, tomorrow. Some will rest, some eat chocolate, some will worship, others will just appreciate the day off. Some will feel vaguely confused and wonder what they think, but not me. No, I've got it all tidily worked out - the hours of thought, the alternative options - been there, done that. Tried it all. Got the T-shirt, thankyouverymuch. I suppose a week or so submerged in the Catholic undertones of my Irish family's town naturally reiterates the atheism I admitted and committed to three years ago.
I'll close with some (translated) words from Sartre, from Huis Clos/In Camera/No Exit first repeated to me by
airlight who knew her audience well.
"GARCIN: I "dreamt," you say. It was no dream. When I chose the hardest path, I made my choice deliberately. A man is what he wills himself to be.
INEZ: Prove it. Prove it was no dream. It's what one does, and nothing else, that shows the stuff one's made of.
GARCIN: I died too soon. I wasn't allowed time to--to do my deeds.
INEZ: One always dies too soon--or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are--your life, and nothing else."
And if that's not an encouraging Easter message, I don't know what is.
Tomorrow, tomorrow. Some will rest, some eat chocolate, some will worship, others will just appreciate the day off. Some will feel vaguely confused and wonder what they think, but not me. No, I've got it all tidily worked out - the hours of thought, the alternative options - been there, done that. Tried it all. Got the T-shirt, thankyouverymuch. I suppose a week or so submerged in the Catholic undertones of my Irish family's town naturally reiterates the atheism I admitted and committed to three years ago.
I'll close with some (translated) words from Sartre, from Huis Clos/In Camera/No Exit first repeated to me by
airlight who knew her audience well."GARCIN: I "dreamt," you say. It was no dream. When I chose the hardest path, I made my choice deliberately. A man is what he wills himself to be.
INEZ: Prove it. Prove it was no dream. It's what one does, and nothing else, that shows the stuff one's made of.
GARCIN: I died too soon. I wasn't allowed time to--to do my deeds.
INEZ: One always dies too soon--or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are--your life, and nothing else."
And if that's not an encouraging Easter message, I don't know what is.