New Awards (from tonight- yes, I did sit there writing in the dark. You guys are lucky I could read the things...)

The best returning king (and how did we leave this out before?): Aragorn.

Most poncy elves: Duh. All of them. It's like Peter Jackson just said, "Now... go be gay."

Best game of hide and seek: Frodo and Gollum in Shelob's tunnel.

Best moment to play "Surfin USA": When Legolas slides down the elephant's trunk. Can you not see that?

Best cheekbones: Legolas. Mmmm.

Worst teeth: Gollum.
-Honorable mention: All of the orcs, and Denethor.

Best nails: Arwen. They're just so damn pretty.
-Worst nails: Frodo. Dude. They look just like mine- bitten to the quick.

Most hopelessly optimistic: Sam. That's kind of obvious.

Best/worst crooked beard (we couldn't decide whether it really was best or worst): Theoden.

Best drinking song: Well you can drink your fancy ales, you can drink 'em by the flagon...

Best use of the word silly: Gollum. "No time, silly."

Best Miss Cleo moment: Legolas, when talking to Aragorn during his One Token Elven Line. You have to admit, he looks like some kind of psychic or something.

Biggest nostrils: Dude. Denethor has HUGE NOSTRILS.

Most devoted son: Daisy. Er- Faramir, yeah.

Best use of a "walking stick": Go Gandalf, it's your birthday.

Fastest appearing crumbs: The ones that are supposed to be on Sam's jacket. Up until Gollum points them out, they're NOT THERE.

Worst edit ever: Taking the Four Hobbits In A Bar scene out of FotR.

Old Awards

Best dramatic pause: Theoden. (Aragorn: "Gondor calls for aid." Theoden: "....................." (everyone in the room - and cinema - bites their nails, holds their breath, and/or pees their pants) "And Rohan will answer!")
Worst dramatic pause: The half-second pause after Legolas proclaims "A Diversion!" and every member of the cast, crew, and audience thinks "Umm... thanks?"

Best manly stubble: Aragorn. Self-explanatory.
Worst "manly" stubble: Denethor. (Really, he needs a personal stylist.)

Best subtle "I'm going to hold your hand now" move: Aragorn grasping Merry's hand after Pippin and Gandalf leave.

Best fangirl: Eowyn.

Meanest brush off: Aragorn.

Prettiest outfit: Arwen's blue and red velvet gown in Aragorn's dream.
Ugliest outfit: Elrond's "corset".

Best scar: Aragorn's way-hot scar on his upper lip.
Worst scar: The Goonies-Like Orc's re-sewn on lip.

Most blatantly obvious sexual reference: Sam telling Frodo about the "strawberries with cream".
- Honorable mention: Frodo clearly grabbing Sam's ass while he carries him.

Least gay member of the cast: Ian McKellen.
Most gay member of the cast: Everyone else.

Best "You're going to die now" speech: Gandalf.
Worst "You're going to die now" speech: Theoden's. Any. There are, like, ten to choose from.

Best eyebrows: Frodo.
- Pippin gets an honorable mention, because his really are very rocksy.
-Arwen was disqualified because there is no plucking allowed.
-Legolas was disqualified because DUDE your eyebrows NEED to be the same color as your hair. Also, he looks like he has a unibrow, even though he doesn't.
Worst eyebrows: Elrond.
-But I think Gandalf's are pretty crappy too.

Cutest heroic moment: When Sam shows up. He get's all "I'm gonnna kick your ass if you touch my lover, Shelob." Go Sam.

Prettiest foreheadsex: Frodo/Sam. During Frodo's "Here at the end of all things" line.
Ickiest foreheadsex: Theoden/Eowyn. Incest. Yeck.

Best hand movement: When Aragorn reaches to take the sword from Elrond. *swoon*

Best hand/arm crossing: Legolas during his Most Obvious Line.

Best drunken walk: Frodo.

Worst/Most annoying fall: Frodo. Dude, what's with the leg?

BEST NON-DEATH (also known as "Most Annoying "OH MY GOD I KNOW YOU'RE IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT BUT JUST DIE ALREADY" character): Gollum, man. Why would you NOT DIE when you get thrown into a pit of darkness??????

Best time for arachnaphobes to leave the theatre: Yeah. You all know what I'm talking about.

Best eyebrows: Frodo
- Would have wne best eyebrows but was disqualified because they were the wrong color: Legolas
Worst eyebrows: Elrond
- Honorable mention: Gandalf

Best hair: tie - Frodo and Arwen (I still hate her, but she does have nice hair.)
- Honorable mention: Eowyn

Worst hair: tie - Gollum and Denethor. Honestly, his hair is beyond greasy. Its called shampoo, man. You might have seen something about it in the Palantir.

Best facial hair: Aragorn (yum.)
-Worst facial hair: Eomer.

Best chins: Sam (Okay, sorry, we formally apoligize to Sean, because that was a cheap shot.)

Best eyes: C'mon, you have to have guessed this one yourself.
- Honorable mention: Smeagol (it only seems fair to let him have the best something.)
-Worst eye: Sauron

Best voice (speaking and singing): Pippin
-Worst voice: I can't really think of anyone who's voice annoys me, so I'm just going to nominate Arwen.

Best eyelashes: Faramir covered in oil (AHH so unbelievably pretty)
-Worst eyelashes: Theoden (have you ever noticed that he really doesn't have any eyelashes?)

Best pep talk: Aragorn's famous speech before storming the black gate
-Worst pep talk: tie - Theoden's speech to the Rohirrim about attacking Mordor even though they would die and Gandalf's speech to Pippin about Frodo never having hope. Way to be pessimistic.

Least intelligent line in the history of cinema: Legolas: "A diversion."

Most annoying change from the books: Frodo in the tower. In the books, he's naked and I felt that was a very important part of the book and should have been kept in the movie. *nods*

So- who wants to shag?