some things about my year.
This year has been totally monumental in a lot of ways that I never could have expected. Last year, at about this time on New Year's Eve, I was eating Chinese food in a little black dress on the couch of one of my greatest friends. We were drinking champagne and playing Apples to Apples and watching Cheaper By The Dozen 2, and that never could have prepared me for what this year turned out to be. But it was a pretty excellent night nonetheless.
There was a lot of stuff in between January and the summer, but mostly: I graduated from my undergraduate college career at Bryn Mawr College. I got the shiny gold class ring in the mail a few weeks later, and then went to Houston for the summer to live somewhere outside of Pennsylvania for the first time. I met and worked with amazing people, both coworkers and clients, and figured out something that I'd really love to do with my life. I also still had no intention of ever going back to school. Hilarious, right?
In September, I moved to Boston. Out of state, on my own, with just my college roommate and all my stuff by my side. We found a place in Cambridge and moved in with our other new roommate -- who, by the way, is hilariously incredible and the happiest accident ever -- and I have to say it: this city is golden. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually sparkled, or glittered, or something equally lovely. The apartment feels homey, the two cities are becoming familiar in very different ways, and I'm finding places to call my own even when there are other people around.
I don't have a job yet, but I'm okay with that for just right now. I babysit a lot, and sometimes I'm really bored and have nothing to do, but half my week is spent at Youth On Fire, a day shelter for homeless, runaway, street-involved, and high risk youth, aged 14 - 24. Mostly what it means is this: I hang out with amazing people, hear their stories, have expectations totally smashed, and sometimes I cook for 30 people and get vitamins out of the medicine cabinet. I don't know if I can really talk about how much this place means to me without sounding stupid or preachy or bleeding heart or offensively ignorant, but it's taught me so much in such a short time about a population I knew absolutely nothing about and has given me an idea of what I might want to do when and after I go back to school -- which I now see as not only an inevitability, but an option I am probably gladly going to opt into.
Not everything's perfect, but I'm at peace with where a lot of my life is. I feel healthier than I have in some time, even though I haven't lost any weight and I don't eat well, but I move. I walk. I walk everywhere. I think about my body every second of every day and I always will, but I get defensive when people tell me that I should change something about it because there are so many more important things, to me. I need to be healthier than I am, but the way I look has nothing to do with that. For the first time in my life, I like how full my body is, and I can't imagine what I would look like without my curves. I don't want my stomach to be there, but even if I started losing weight today it would be around for a good long while. I'm used to it and I'm past making it my number one worry.
Also, this year: I fell stupidly in love. I'm still stupidly in love. I do everything backwards, which means that I was head over heels before we were ever officially dating, but I guess that's sometimes how these things go. It's new and it's healthy, which means I'm the most neurotic I've ever been about a relationship, which is another new feeling for me. Usually I'm calm and collected. This time I'm a comfortable, quietly paranoid wreck. Anyway. She's amazing, and I miss her, and Maryland is a stupid place for someone to live. Apologies to anyone from Maryland, of course.
I miss more people than I can count: my mom, my Katie. Other states and other countries took everyone important in my life, but I'm moving along and waiting for the visits I know will happen.
Other things about my year, in succession but not chronologically: I made peace with the ellipsis, rediscovered the magic of the interrobang, watched a lot of Misfits, yelled a lot about Johnny Weir, yelled a lot about the Colts and Peyton Manning's life choices, lost some friends, made some friends, realised a lot about current friendships, started a book club, walked the length of Manhattan in 4 and a half hours, and painted and decorated an apartment in under 48 hours.
For next year I want: to do the things I said I'd do, learn to hike safely and do it often, to make the gap between my bad days and my good days just a little bit smaller.
There was a lot of stuff in between January and the summer, but mostly: I graduated from my undergraduate college career at Bryn Mawr College. I got the shiny gold class ring in the mail a few weeks later, and then went to Houston for the summer to live somewhere outside of Pennsylvania for the first time. I met and worked with amazing people, both coworkers and clients, and figured out something that I'd really love to do with my life. I also still had no intention of ever going back to school. Hilarious, right?
In September, I moved to Boston. Out of state, on my own, with just my college roommate and all my stuff by my side. We found a place in Cambridge and moved in with our other new roommate -- who, by the way, is hilariously incredible and the happiest accident ever -- and I have to say it: this city is golden. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually sparkled, or glittered, or something equally lovely. The apartment feels homey, the two cities are becoming familiar in very different ways, and I'm finding places to call my own even when there are other people around.
I don't have a job yet, but I'm okay with that for just right now. I babysit a lot, and sometimes I'm really bored and have nothing to do, but half my week is spent at Youth On Fire, a day shelter for homeless, runaway, street-involved, and high risk youth, aged 14 - 24. Mostly what it means is this: I hang out with amazing people, hear their stories, have expectations totally smashed, and sometimes I cook for 30 people and get vitamins out of the medicine cabinet. I don't know if I can really talk about how much this place means to me without sounding stupid or preachy or bleeding heart or offensively ignorant, but it's taught me so much in such a short time about a population I knew absolutely nothing about and has given me an idea of what I might want to do when and after I go back to school -- which I now see as not only an inevitability, but an option I am probably gladly going to opt into.
Not everything's perfect, but I'm at peace with where a lot of my life is. I feel healthier than I have in some time, even though I haven't lost any weight and I don't eat well, but I move. I walk. I walk everywhere. I think about my body every second of every day and I always will, but I get defensive when people tell me that I should change something about it because there are so many more important things, to me. I need to be healthier than I am, but the way I look has nothing to do with that. For the first time in my life, I like how full my body is, and I can't imagine what I would look like without my curves. I don't want my stomach to be there, but even if I started losing weight today it would be around for a good long while. I'm used to it and I'm past making it my number one worry.
Also, this year: I fell stupidly in love. I'm still stupidly in love. I do everything backwards, which means that I was head over heels before we were ever officially dating, but I guess that's sometimes how these things go. It's new and it's healthy, which means I'm the most neurotic I've ever been about a relationship, which is another new feeling for me. Usually I'm calm and collected. This time I'm a comfortable, quietly paranoid wreck. Anyway. She's amazing, and I miss her, and Maryland is a stupid place for someone to live. Apologies to anyone from Maryland, of course.
I miss more people than I can count: my mom, my Katie. Other states and other countries took everyone important in my life, but I'm moving along and waiting for the visits I know will happen.
Other things about my year, in succession but not chronologically: I made peace with the ellipsis, rediscovered the magic of the interrobang, watched a lot of Misfits, yelled a lot about Johnny Weir, yelled a lot about the Colts and Peyton Manning's life choices, lost some friends, made some friends, realised a lot about current friendships, started a book club, walked the length of Manhattan in 4 and a half hours, and painted and decorated an apartment in under 48 hours.
For next year I want: to do the things I said I'd do, learn to hike safely and do it often, to make the gap between my bad days and my good days just a little bit smaller.