So, I've been busy as hell...Trying to keep this train on the tracks, you know?
Gone up on some of my medications (Lamictal and Seroquel) and might have to switch antidepressants soon. I think the mood stabilisers are doing a decent job, but I don't feel better, if you know what I mean. So I think something has to give. Hopefully I can expect more, eh?
Today I went to my first DBT pre-treatment appointment. I think there will be a couple more before the program starts on the 19th. I'm not yet as freaked out as I could be, so I guess that's something. The woman whose name I can't remember was pretty cool...Even though I had to rehash everything right from the beginning up until recently, which is always a pain in the ass, but still, she was OK. It's a nice change from people who don't know their ass from their elbow or people who've never had a bad day. Urgh. Anyway, this DBT thing is a year long course of therapy...One full day a week for a year. Looking forward to it? No. Interested? A tad. I think the biggest thing is I'm quite literally at the end of my rope. I can't do this anymore, you know? I feel like this is just about all I have left in me....So, one last ditch effort, and all that.
Still not sure about admission. I'm going to wait until exams are over before anything definite happens, and I also have to (preferably) wait for two months or so until our new health cover kicks in. We've pretty much always had private health insurance, but I'm kind of at the point where I need better care (God, I even hate typing that) and if I have to pay through the nose for it, then so be it. You have to do what you have to do, right? It's like I'm haemorrhaging money over here, but still. A couple of months and then Medicare will kick in to take some of the weight off. I think everything I've spent so far can be reimbursed, so it's not so bad, but when you watch the numbers adding up it makes one's blood run cold. But yeah, so I'm going to hold off, if I can, to decided whether admission would be a decent idea...I mean, if I end up changing medications, I'd much prefer to be doing that in a decent environment because the medication I'm on (Lovan) has a really long half-life and you have to wait til it's all out of your system before moving to something else, so you have to taper down and then have a week or so free of the antidepressant so you're clear to start something else. I'm not looking especially forward to trying to work something like that out of my system, but surely I can expect more than this.
So yeah. Uni's just about done for the semester, so all of this couldn't have come at a better time. I've done my exam for Language, Brain and Mind, which did not go swimmingly, and still have a paper to write for Corpus Linguistics and a take-home exam for Modern Irish Literature. Pretty chuffed that we get that last one for a week, so that should take the heat off a bit. It's just two 1000 word essays ;) can't complain about that. The Corpus paper isn't going to be much fun, though, so I guess that kind of makes up for it.
Hope you guys are faring much better than I am xx
Gone up on some of my medications (Lamictal and Seroquel) and might have to switch antidepressants soon. I think the mood stabilisers are doing a decent job, but I don't feel better, if you know what I mean. So I think something has to give. Hopefully I can expect more, eh?
Today I went to my first DBT pre-treatment appointment. I think there will be a couple more before the program starts on the 19th. I'm not yet as freaked out as I could be, so I guess that's something. The woman whose name I can't remember was pretty cool...Even though I had to rehash everything right from the beginning up until recently, which is always a pain in the ass, but still, she was OK. It's a nice change from people who don't know their ass from their elbow or people who've never had a bad day. Urgh. Anyway, this DBT thing is a year long course of therapy...One full day a week for a year. Looking forward to it? No. Interested? A tad. I think the biggest thing is I'm quite literally at the end of my rope. I can't do this anymore, you know? I feel like this is just about all I have left in me....So, one last ditch effort, and all that.
Still not sure about admission. I'm going to wait until exams are over before anything definite happens, and I also have to (preferably) wait for two months or so until our new health cover kicks in. We've pretty much always had private health insurance, but I'm kind of at the point where I need better care (God, I even hate typing that) and if I have to pay through the nose for it, then so be it. You have to do what you have to do, right? It's like I'm haemorrhaging money over here, but still. A couple of months and then Medicare will kick in to take some of the weight off. I think everything I've spent so far can be reimbursed, so it's not so bad, but when you watch the numbers adding up it makes one's blood run cold. But yeah, so I'm going to hold off, if I can, to decided whether admission would be a decent idea...I mean, if I end up changing medications, I'd much prefer to be doing that in a decent environment because the medication I'm on (Lovan) has a really long half-life and you have to wait til it's all out of your system before moving to something else, so you have to taper down and then have a week or so free of the antidepressant so you're clear to start something else. I'm not looking especially forward to trying to work something like that out of my system, but surely I can expect more than this.
So yeah. Uni's just about done for the semester, so all of this couldn't have come at a better time. I've done my exam for Language, Brain and Mind, which did not go swimmingly, and still have a paper to write for Corpus Linguistics and a take-home exam for Modern Irish Literature. Pretty chuffed that we get that last one for a week, so that should take the heat off a bit. It's just two 1000 word essays ;) can't complain about that. The Corpus paper isn't going to be much fun, though, so I guess that kind of makes up for it.
Hope you guys are faring much better than I am xx