I wish they had books like this when I was a kid...

 
My mum emailed me this book today...It's a kid's book called, "Go the Fuck to Sleep." Something tells me it's more for adults, but it's wonderfully illustrated and fantastically written. In case you couldn't tell from the title, lol, the book's about the pains of trying to get a little kid off to sleep. An awful task sometimes, I can imagine.

The opening passage is:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep.
And it goes up in intensity as the book goes further along (my favourite one):

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.

To:

The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the fuck up and sleep.

And:

The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I’m a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.


It goes on quite some time and if you get the chance, you should check it out because it's hilarious and wonderful all at the same time. It's exactly what I needed after these last couple of days.