On Making Mature Decisions...

So...I've decided to do something deeply mature and sensible; I've been (ab)using codeine based painkillers for almost two years and it's time to stop. Yes, my knee has been totalled after 16 years of soccer and I wreaked my back when I was working, but these are things I'm just going to have to deal with, I think. 

I'm tired of feeling the way I do...Sure, I could break my own thumb when the dose is high enough and the high is nice. Like one's blood has been cycled through a jacuzzi. But my body isn't doing so well. Just a general all over unwellness - things definitely aren't functioning as they ought to be. And there have been times where I've woken up suddenly in the middle of the night at the realisation that I haven't been breathing. Healthy, and not at all scary.

Anyway, moving along. I started tapering off by taking only five (only, I know) only every second day instead of five or six at a time up to three times a day, and now I'm onto four every second day. I've tried doing the cold turkey thing before and I swear I wanted to kill myself...It was like my brain was kindly informing me that I had two choices, either take the painkillers or die. And although there are some not so fun withdrawal symptoms, they're manageable and not as painful/nasty/vaguely terrifying as just stopping. So, doing it this way is going to take some time but I'm hoping to have it all under control by the time I get back to university in March. 

So yeah, I have a bitch of a headache, my knee/back/joints hurt and I'm sweating like a pig, but it's all manageable and I'm sure I'll be fine. Eventually. Urgh.

Meh, at least it's not heroin.