Bitching.

 
So, it's finally happening...Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be twenty-one. 

And I have to be honest here...I'm actually not happy about it. I don't know if it's the age thing or whatever. I don't know if it's just another page in the book, or it being one step closer to my inevitable human demise. I'm not even sure if it's about getting older...Considering I've always felt a couple of decades older than my calendar age, it's irrelevant. 

I'm not good at being the focus of attention, which is weird, lol. I'm a Gemini, so it stands to reason that I'd be good at that, but no. I can deal with being the centre of attention if there's a conversation and I'm being amusing or scathing, lol, but where there's singing and gift giving with expectant looks, I fail. I go all stuttery and weird. Mostly because I'm sometimes stuttery and weird.

I don't know. I suppose the bonus is it'll all soon be over. If only I could force my mother not to wake me at 6:30 am. It's unnecessary - I'll see her when I get home from work and then I can relax and all will be well, but no. I have to rush about and do a hurried reception of gifts and everyone leaves and my morning routine will be out of whack...Which will fuck me up for the rest of the day.

Guh. I hate that...Not being able to have what I want for my birthday. I didn't decide to have a combined (yes, my parents and their partners) dinner at a place that served mostly steak (which I don't eat). I didn't decide to have a large family luncheon where I didn't even get the food I wanted. Relatives that I don't like and who don't know a damn thing about me were invited. A lovely situation. I know it sounds stupid, but the one day (or week, rather, lol) that I should be able to have things go my way not only didn't go my way, but I wasn't even consulted. Rude.

The bonus is my mother's major present to me is a trip to Melbourne spanning three days, the 19th to the 21st. I'm not going to be at work on Friday. Why? I'll be in Melbourne!!!!! I can see me spending a lot of money. Ah.

Guh. I'm such a curmudgeon. I should be able to just sit back and lord over people because it's my birthday, but I can't. Never been my favourite day of the year. 

Perhaps if I'd have been sleeping better, I'd feel better about it. Looking forward to yet another relatively sleepless night...And being woken at half six ack emma.

Sorry about my bitching....This was supposed to be a post to let you all know that I'm still alive...Which you can now tell because of the bitching. I'll be nicer, I promise.

P.S. My mad aunts gave me a beautiful gold fountain pen (and a bottle of blue ink) which I adore....So it's not all bad xox