Two crappy jokes and one good one.
I can't guarantee the hilarity of these jokes, but here they are anyway. May you go forth and tell them at parties.
1. Two fish are in a tank. The first fish turns to the second one and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
2. A grey goose walks into a bar and the bartender tells him, "There's a drink named after you". The goose looks perplexed, "What? There's a drink called Eric?"
3. God descends from heaven after having written out the Ten Commandments and he decides to try his luck and see who'll take them.
He first goes to the French and he says, "I've got these Ten Commandments, do you want them?". The French people say to him, "Well, give us an example or one", so God says, "This one says 'thou shalt not commit adultery'". All goes quiet for a second and the reply comes, "No thanks".
God moves on and finds the Germans. He says, "Hey, Germans, I've got these Commandments, do you want them?". "Well, what do they say?" the Germans ask, "Um, this one here reads 'thou shalt not kill'". "Hmm," reply the Germans, "we don't think so".
Getting a little worried, God heads over to the Italians, "Look," he says to them, "I've got these Commandments I can't seem to shift, would you like some of them?" "Commandments, hey? What are they like?". God sighs, "they're fair - this one says 'thou shalt not steal'". "Go away", comes the reply.
He doesn't know what do do now, but at last he comes upon the Jews. "Look," God begins, "I've got these Commandments". "How much are they?" the Jews ask. "Um, they're free". "We'll take ten".
1. Two fish are in a tank. The first fish turns to the second one and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
2. A grey goose walks into a bar and the bartender tells him, "There's a drink named after you". The goose looks perplexed, "What? There's a drink called Eric?"
3. God descends from heaven after having written out the Ten Commandments and he decides to try his luck and see who'll take them.
He first goes to the French and he says, "I've got these Ten Commandments, do you want them?". The French people say to him, "Well, give us an example or one", so God says, "This one says 'thou shalt not commit adultery'". All goes quiet for a second and the reply comes, "No thanks".
God moves on and finds the Germans. He says, "Hey, Germans, I've got these Commandments, do you want them?". "Well, what do they say?" the Germans ask, "Um, this one here reads 'thou shalt not kill'". "Hmm," reply the Germans, "we don't think so".
Getting a little worried, God heads over to the Italians, "Look," he says to them, "I've got these Commandments I can't seem to shift, would you like some of them?" "Commandments, hey? What are they like?". God sighs, "they're fair - this one says 'thou shalt not steal'". "Go away", comes the reply.
He doesn't know what do do now, but at last he comes upon the Jews. "Look," God begins, "I've got these Commandments". "How much are they?" the Jews ask. "Um, they're free". "We'll take ten".