Riddled with expletives...Not for children.
Transit Officers...I hate them. I wish they were all dead - gruesomely and painfully. And I'd like to top them all myself. Fuckers!!!!!!!
I was on the train this morning and was pretty much accosted by two cop school dropouts. They were checking tickets, all good, but it's the way they do it, you know?? They don't have to be as prickish as they are. Not my fault no one will let them have guns.
Honestly, though, anyone who has had a run in with a Transit Officer will tell you - whether they have a valid ticket or not - that they really are the most unabashedly arrogant and twattish people that God ever breathed life into. They have nothing to show for the arrogance...Nothing to back it up with...Just that illmaking sense of authority that they get from wearing their pseudo police uniforms and pithy little number badges. Cunts.
Turns out my ticket was out of date - if I hadn't have gotten a lift from work yesterday, I would have gotten to the station and bought a new ticket and it wouldn't have been an issue, but there you are.
Anyway, I explained this to the two "very nice" motherfuckers and had proof that I'm a regular commuter in the form of two other tickets (both of which were purchased on Thursday afternoons). But no dice.
They proceeded to give me trash about if I held off on buying a ticket for another few days, that would have given me a free week. One of them said to me "did you buy a ticket for your bag?" because it was sitting on the single seat in front of me...I told him as drily as I was able that, no, I didn't buy my bag a ticket because it had forgotten its wallet. I got a blank look in return. Natch.
Gets worse. A risky little game, but I'm glad that I read this pair correctly - I can very safely tell you that neither one of them would have stayed at school to finish year ten.
The male "officer" goes to me, "What book are you reading, then? Give us a look"...My mouth outran my head and I spat at him, "as you like it" (I was going to furnish that with a "you pitiful cocksucker", but didn't). He says to me, "what did you say to me?". Cut to me blank faced (my mind having finally caught up with my mouth). I then said to him "As. You. Like. It"...All quiet from both failures...I followed closely with "It's a play...By William Shakespeare..." *pauses* "the play" (I had to gesture to my book for them to catch on) and the bloke goes, "oh, er, Shakespeare...Way too intense and deep for me".
Ladies and gents, I was reading The Gun Seller by Hugh "looks good in breeches" Laurie. The pages were folded over. Thank fuck.
So, I have to pay $200 for travelling without a valid ticket. Goodo.
To make it all better, that self serving moron misspelled "ticket" on my fine. Yes.
*sighs*
Finished The Gun Seller today, actually, and I have to say, Hugh should write more - It's a spy novel spoof packed to the gills with obvious metaphor and things, but the characters are brilliant, the plot is grand and the twists and turns are enough to give you whiplash.
Excellent read :)
I was on the train this morning and was pretty much accosted by two cop school dropouts. They were checking tickets, all good, but it's the way they do it, you know?? They don't have to be as prickish as they are. Not my fault no one will let them have guns.
Honestly, though, anyone who has had a run in with a Transit Officer will tell you - whether they have a valid ticket or not - that they really are the most unabashedly arrogant and twattish people that God ever breathed life into. They have nothing to show for the arrogance...Nothing to back it up with...Just that illmaking sense of authority that they get from wearing their pseudo police uniforms and pithy little number badges. Cunts.
Turns out my ticket was out of date - if I hadn't have gotten a lift from work yesterday, I would have gotten to the station and bought a new ticket and it wouldn't have been an issue, but there you are.
Anyway, I explained this to the two "very nice" motherfuckers and had proof that I'm a regular commuter in the form of two other tickets (both of which were purchased on Thursday afternoons). But no dice.
They proceeded to give me trash about if I held off on buying a ticket for another few days, that would have given me a free week. One of them said to me "did you buy a ticket for your bag?" because it was sitting on the single seat in front of me...I told him as drily as I was able that, no, I didn't buy my bag a ticket because it had forgotten its wallet. I got a blank look in return. Natch.
Gets worse. A risky little game, but I'm glad that I read this pair correctly - I can very safely tell you that neither one of them would have stayed at school to finish year ten.
The male "officer" goes to me, "What book are you reading, then? Give us a look"...My mouth outran my head and I spat at him, "as you like it" (I was going to furnish that with a "you pitiful cocksucker", but didn't). He says to me, "what did you say to me?". Cut to me blank faced (my mind having finally caught up with my mouth). I then said to him "As. You. Like. It"...All quiet from both failures...I followed closely with "It's a play...By William Shakespeare..." *pauses* "the play" (I had to gesture to my book for them to catch on) and the bloke goes, "oh, er, Shakespeare...Way too intense and deep for me".
Ladies and gents, I was reading The Gun Seller by Hugh "looks good in breeches" Laurie. The pages were folded over. Thank fuck.
So, I have to pay $200 for travelling without a valid ticket. Goodo.
To make it all better, that self serving moron misspelled "ticket" on my fine. Yes.
*sighs*
Finished The Gun Seller today, actually, and I have to say, Hugh should write more - It's a spy novel spoof packed to the gills with obvious metaphor and things, but the characters are brilliant, the plot is grand and the twists and turns are enough to give you whiplash.
Excellent read :)