Ya Big Gallah.

Isn't it funny how people of English speaking countries use very different words...I suppose that although we can be considered to be English speaking, but our use of the English language is remarkably different.

I just got through with watching a segment of the Ellen show with Hugh Laurie (aww) as the guest and they had a little competition as to see who could decipher who's slang. It was quite funny. Neither knew what the other was talking about. It did surprise me, however, that Ellen got so many wrong with Portia being an Aussie...The Poms and us aren't really that different....I guess Australians are a little more relaxed, though.

I couldn't believe that she wasn't familiar with the terms "chin wag" and "chuffed". For those out there who don't seem to speak that particular strain of English, "chin wag" is a chat, as in "I just went 'round to my mate's place for a drink and we wound up having a bit of a chin wag". And "chuffed" means to be happy or pleased with something, as in "I was dead chuffed that I managed to win that race coz I wasn't sure I would".

Actually, I'm having a bit of fun with this, so I'll keep with it for a moment. I've a great love for the English language...And it's many bastardised forms. It will never cease to amaze me how English speaking nations (America in particular, no offence) can start out with something so beautiful and proceed to brutally murder it until it's no longer recognizable.

"No worries" is very common here in Oz and also painfully straight forward. It's an appropriate answer to something like "Thanks for grabbing that for me", "Yeah, no worries". Which brings me right around to the Australian love of shortening already short words or names, for example, "thanks" is often shortened to "ta". Why? No idea.

The name thing, as a B-Side, is something I find hilarious. Now, it's not always shortening the name, although it begins that way. Often a name is shortened and then lengthened again. I mean, the job was done! Leave it there! A fine example is the nice name, "Robert". "Robert" can be shortened to "Rob". Should leave it there. But no. "Rob" progresses in some strange way to "Robbo". And it's not just male names. Take the lovely (Westie!) name, "Sharon". We move along to the (semi) acceptable "Shaz", and from there we get the ghastly "Shazza".

Now the swearing. I admit, swearing is something Aussies can be quite known for, but somehow it's mostly not offensive. And if it is, man up. For example, one may state, "My word, it's quite cold out today". Fair enough, point made, but "get fucked, how cold is it?" makes more sense in some odd way. Or you might call your best mate "a fucking dickhead- an absolute poofter", but someone you really don't like is just "a prick".

Something we seem to have retained from our English (the country, not the language) bretheren is ending sentences which are not questions as if they were, such as the above example "how cold is it?". I don't know how cold it is exactly, perhaps 15 degrees? No. "He was a right fucking wanker, wasn't he?". I don't know, I wasn't there. But it all seems to make sense with all that emphasis and enthusiasm.

A typical short conversation consisting of a greeting, an enquiry and a farewell can be dramatically shortened to one single word and it is oddly common. There are no breaths and no pauses, "g'daymateowyagoinorrite". G'day mate, how are you going, alright. To which the appropriate response is, "yeahmatenotbadyaself". Yeah, mate, not bad, yourself?. "Yeahorritehaveagoodone". Yeah, alright, have a good one. That's it. Five or six words - a whole sentence - squished into one stream of easily missed noise. Love it.

Lol, "not bad" reminds me of "you're not wrong". "Not bad" means good, and "you're not wrong" means you're right. Such a roundabout way of doing things.

A few small things that can be confusing or nonsensical. A "barney" or a "blue" are the same thing, they both refer to an argument, for example, "I had a massive barney with my missus". "Goon" is not an alternative name for a henchman (henchperson?), but cask wine. "Fair dinkum" sounds nothing like...Well, anything else, really, but it means for real, or are you serious?

Something that makes me laugh every time is an American thing, actually. You'd never hear it here....At least not without some laughter. I love how Americans say "rooting for" where we'd say "going for" in reference to sports teams. Here to "root" means....Well, "I met this hot bird the other night at the club, long story short, she came back to mine and I rooted her".

So, before I wind this up, because I have to sleep at some point, what about all the common things Americans and Aussies (and Poms) have, but give different names. An "elevator" is a "lift" (and when someone's getting a "ride" somewhere, that's a "lift", too). A "cookie" is a "biscuit", which is then often shortened to a "bikkie". One's traditional morning meal is contracted to "brekkie" and the popular golden arches fast-food place is likewise shortened to "Macca's". Not "Mickey D's". 

And you know what? I don't care how many people say "throw another shrimp on the barbie", because we call them "prawns".