Dammit.
My Lenten fast is over, apparently. Smoked pot and cigarettes yesterday. I do want to cut waaaay down though so I can get into some kind of game fit shape. Anyway.
Hung out with Dee yesterday, hence the pot and smokes, and we chilled and watched The L Word (love Shane, as always). We also walked to a park from her place, and got back, and then had to promptly go back to the park because she'd realised that she'd chucked out her weed with her empty cigarette pack. Some people are bright.
Anyhow, she's a cool chick, absolutely, but I don't know. Women, lol. Good body ;-). But what do I want with a relationship right now? I mean, the way I feel about people right now is probably not exactly what one might consider conducive to an alright relationship. Doesn't matter, we'll see. Doesn't have to be a big thing, right?
Going to a party on Saturday with her. One of her friends' 21st. Why not.
Anyway, all that petty life stuff out of the way. More internal me stuff.
I feel....Blocked. I guess that's really the only way to describe it. I've got this insane and very strong need to just let loose. Be a little bit (and you know what a "little bit" is in my language) of an asshole. Be a bit more me-centric...If that's at all possible. I think it's because I've spent forever and a day doing what other people want me to do, I can go out and do what I like now. I've no one to impress and that's a great feeling.
As far as my head's doing, I'm alright, I think. I'm as good as I can be, lol.
I want to write. I want it badly, actually, lol. It sort of sucks. What I really want to do, actually, is write a character and then kill him. Just put him in different situations and kill him off in as many horrible and graphic and fucked up ways as I possibly can. Just do it until neither of us can any more.
Heh, the above it prompted by me finding a new community the other day. I like it. It's for people who aren't afraid of the darker things in life...wouldikill.
Hung out with Dee yesterday, hence the pot and smokes, and we chilled and watched The L Word (love Shane, as always). We also walked to a park from her place, and got back, and then had to promptly go back to the park because she'd realised that she'd chucked out her weed with her empty cigarette pack. Some people are bright.
Anyhow, she's a cool chick, absolutely, but I don't know. Women, lol. Good body ;-). But what do I want with a relationship right now? I mean, the way I feel about people right now is probably not exactly what one might consider conducive to an alright relationship. Doesn't matter, we'll see. Doesn't have to be a big thing, right?
Going to a party on Saturday with her. One of her friends' 21st. Why not.
Anyway, all that petty life stuff out of the way. More internal me stuff.
I feel....Blocked. I guess that's really the only way to describe it. I've got this insane and very strong need to just let loose. Be a little bit (and you know what a "little bit" is in my language) of an asshole. Be a bit more me-centric...If that's at all possible. I think it's because I've spent forever and a day doing what other people want me to do, I can go out and do what I like now. I've no one to impress and that's a great feeling.
As far as my head's doing, I'm alright, I think. I'm as good as I can be, lol.
I want to write. I want it badly, actually, lol. It sort of sucks. What I really want to do, actually, is write a character and then kill him. Just put him in different situations and kill him off in as many horrible and graphic and fucked up ways as I possibly can. Just do it until neither of us can any more.
Heh, the above it prompted by me finding a new community the other day. I like it. It's for people who aren't afraid of the darker things in life...wouldikill.