*groans*

Alright. So without too much detail, because hey, I don't need to relive my failure (the biggest to date, in fact. Go me), I'll let you in on something.

I'm not going to university next year. Not even UWS. Cool, huh?

But if you think about it, and I had to, because I was about ready to hang myself, it's not bad this way.

I've been studying for almost my whole life. I've been in school since I was four and a half. Don't get me wrong, I love learning, I truely do, but give it a fucking rest. I'm so burned out...I can't focus on much - especially if it's not important to me. I'm sure this world has way more to offer me than I realise, so I'm going to go out and look for it.

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Next year, I'm going to find some job I can put up with and work my arse of for 12-18 months....Then, I'm going to pack my shit and leave the country for a year.

I want to write. That's what I really want to do with my life, and you don't need a degree (fucking bonus!), but there are things you need to go out and do, but sitting in the same environment, day in and day out, never leaving one's comfort zone is not one of those things. So fuck it all!!!!

I cleaned my room (mostly) yesterday because we're having a flock of relatives over for Christmas and I threw out so much shit!!!! It was much harder than I thought, because I'm pretty much a hoarder (lazy, my mother says) and I hadn't cleaned like this a really long time. But I threw out four years worth of HSC shit. Papers, exercise books, exams, time tables, you name it, I had it and it was gone. From year 11 and 12 to both years of TAFE, I threw all of it out....I cleaned up my bedside table and desk....I have an issue with spending spare change, as it seems. I have to go to a bank in the new year and cash it all. I found more fucking bus tickets and train tickets than anything else. Threw out movie tickets, reciepts...In the end I wound up disposing of 5 cent pieces because I just couldn't be arsed dealing with them any more.

It's all gone. Another chapter of my life is done and the past really doesn't matter all that much anymore. 

I'm going to redo my room, too...I'm in the process of rediong one of my walls. I had stuff up on there from 2004. It's all changing.

I can't believe I'm never going to do another secondary subject ever again.