Whatever
Where to start?
Went to see Killing Heidi (a killer Aussie band) on Saturday, pretty fukking awesome, lol. The bomb.
My girl stayed over 'til yesterday. Also cool...Stuff's still a bit tight though. I guess we've both just got shit to work through or whatever. Not pleasant, either. I dunno. I don't get what I'm about, much less her, you know?
How can I understand someone else when I don't munderstand me? I mean, I guess to those who don't know me (or aren't me), I'd seem fairly normal=Boi-ish, dyke, bleach blonde hair, blue eyes, slight build, medium height etc etc. That's all obvoius shit though, lol. But the inside me is a touch more complicated...I guess some days, I have trouble, lol. I hate being in this female vessel, but I wouldn't be completely happy with a male body either, there's a whole chain of other insecurities in there too (am I good enough, am I nice enough, am I a good fuck etc). It's sooo messed up. Some days I don't want people to touch me (so sex is fun) because they won't see what I want them to see...I'm not male, I'm not female...I'm a bigendered, mismatched fuck who doesn't know what's what with it's own body. So weird.
I mean, what's wrong with me? Why aren't I just happy with what I was born with? Ok, no cock....I say that my cock is in psychological (it's in my head), Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there...So I'm a cockless wonder with all this womanly crap going on...A serious mind fuck. It shouldn't happen. Whomever/whatever I am, shouldn't go through all this stuff...
Went to see Killing Heidi (a killer Aussie band) on Saturday, pretty fukking awesome, lol. The bomb.
My girl stayed over 'til yesterday. Also cool...Stuff's still a bit tight though. I guess we've both just got shit to work through or whatever. Not pleasant, either. I dunno. I don't get what I'm about, much less her, you know?
How can I understand someone else when I don't munderstand me? I mean, I guess to those who don't know me (or aren't me), I'd seem fairly normal=Boi-ish, dyke, bleach blonde hair, blue eyes, slight build, medium height etc etc. That's all obvoius shit though, lol. But the inside me is a touch more complicated...I guess some days, I have trouble, lol. I hate being in this female vessel, but I wouldn't be completely happy with a male body either, there's a whole chain of other insecurities in there too (am I good enough, am I nice enough, am I a good fuck etc). It's sooo messed up. Some days I don't want people to touch me (so sex is fun) because they won't see what I want them to see...I'm not male, I'm not female...I'm a bigendered, mismatched fuck who doesn't know what's what with it's own body. So weird.
I mean, what's wrong with me? Why aren't I just happy with what I was born with? Ok, no cock....I say that my cock is in psychological (it's in my head), Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there...So I'm a cockless wonder with all this womanly crap going on...A serious mind fuck. It shouldn't happen. Whomever/whatever I am, shouldn't go through all this stuff...