Crack, to relieve the community!
Hi there everyone.
Eru (
erulisse14) and I have been working on a parody of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and we've decided to unveil it today.
BUT BEFORE you read it, I'd like to say, neither of us want any flames for this. I can't speak for the both of us, but I, for one, completely worship Shakespeare, and I'm not taking the mick when I post this. This is just a little fun.
So, without further adieu, we now unveil the great....
...Ikeio and Karelet!
Cast list:
Starring...
Ike as Ikeio/Romeo
Karel as Karelet/Juliet
Also with...
Stefan as Mercutio (Stefantio)
Soren as Benvolio (Senerio)
Raven as Tybalt (Raybolt)
Lucius as Paris (Lucis)
Eliwood as Prince Verona
Including...
Black Knight as Lord Capulet
Reyson as Lady Capulet
Greil as Lord Montague
Elena as Lady Montague
Bastian as Nurse
Elincia as Rosaline
Rhys as Friar
Aimee as the Apothecary
And...
Little people (Mist, Rolf, Nino...you know) as assorted servants
Paladins (Oscar, Tanith, Sain etc) as soldiers
Geoffrey as the Narrator Guy
Act 1 Scene 1 Cameo: Nero (Dirge of Cerberus)
---
Ikeio and Karelet Act 1 Scene 1
Prologue
[Enter Geoffrey]
Geff: Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood ma--
Random guy in the audience: Get on with it! *throws boot*
Geff: Ow...*sulks and slinks offstage*
Act 1 Scene 1
(Scene: The curtain opens on a couple of streets in a small city. Two men can be seen arguing in a small building. They are seen through the window. The two are clamouring for view of the city.)
Sothe: We shalt not be insultyfied! *glares mencaingly*
Tormod: For then, we shall be dirty and disa...disa...dihonest! *looks righteous*
Sothe: ...Right. Moving on. We will be angry, then, and fight with our ickle, low-budget stage daggers! And...I'm loosing the plot of this arguement so let's skip to about...*runs finger down a battered copy of the script*...here!
[Enter a load of little people]
Sothe: *muttering to himself as he reads the script* My naked weapon is out...cripes, I'm so not saying that. Um...I'm gonna keel you guys!
Tormod: *confused* Say what? Say what?!
Sothe: *lost in his rage and bad acting* Fear me!
Tormod: I fear thee!...
Sothe: However...I just escaped from the dungeons, so let's be good and obey the law.
Tormod: Oh, fine. *pokes head out of the window and pulls a stupid face at the approaching people*
Sothe: And I'll give 'em the good ol' finger!
Nils: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sothe: No, dude, this is my middle finger.
Nils: *glares at script* I just said this! You! Are you biting your thumb at us NOW?!
Sothe: [Aside to Tormod] Will I get in trouble if I say yes?
Tormod: Uh, yeah.
Sothe: *calls back out the window* No, not at you!
Tormod: *gets defensive and storms out of the building to confront Nils and Nino* Are you pickin' a beef, bruv? Are ya? Huh? Are ya?
Nino: This is Shakespeare, not Chavspeare. Have you even read the script?
Tormod: Well ARE YA? Stop stallin'!
Nils: *pakistani accent* Maybe, maybe not...
Sothe: Well, tough, because we're picking one anyway.
[Enter Senerio]
Tormod: Look! Here comes Senerio! Hi Senerio!!
Sothe: *still in chav mode* Whateva...
Nils: *is getting bored, looks down at a rock* You offend me.
Sothe: *remembers they're supposed to be fighting* Draw, if you be men!...or something.
*they fight*
Senerio: Idiocy.
Nino: CATCHPHRASE!! *runs in spazzy fangirly circles*
Senerio: Part, fools! Put up your swords, you know not what you do! *uses funky wind magic and breaks their stage weaponry*
[Enter Raybolt]
Raybolt: Ooh! Fighting! Can I kill you?!
Senerio: Stop, collaborate, and listen! THEY are fighting. I'M breaking them up!
Raybolt: *imagines the word peace in the sentence* Peace? PEACE? I hate the word! And just for that I'm gonna fight you!
Senerio: Oh, whatever *flashes legs subtlety*
Raybolt: *has a nosebleed, which signals the whole street to begin fighting*
Kieran: *rides in valiantly* KILL ZEM ALL!!
*BK theme song*
Mist: *is currently missing an eye* Uh oh…that’s not good…
[Enter Black Knight and Reyson]
BK: *reading off script glued in the front of his helmet* What noise is this? Give me my longsword, ho! *crashes into wall*
Reyson: *steals BK’s helmet and reads off the inside* A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a sword?
BK: *scheming voice* I have someone to kill…………..*steals helmet back to protect his PRECIOUS IDENTITY!!*
[Enter Greil and Elena]
Greil: Um…Grr!
Elena: Once more, with feeling!
Greil: GRR!! It’s you!! *points at BK*
Elena: *bawls like a baby* NO FIGHTING!
[Enter Eliwood with a toy train with paladins] *everyone stares*
Eliwood: It says I have a train….! *switches into hero mode* Put down your weapons, you evil evil EVIL people! This is the THIRD fight I’ve had to break up! If I find you guys fighting again, I’m gonna kill you! Or at least make you listen to my long heroic speeches!...so yeah. You! *points and clicks fingers* Guy in the armour who we’re not supposed to know who you are!...come with me!
*evil darkness envelopes everyone except Greil, Elena and Senerio. That means they exeunt, genius*
Nero: WOOT! I’M NOT EVEN IN THIS PLAY! SUCCUMB TO OBLIVION YOU SUCKERS!
Senerio: *attempts to kick off stage, but instead breaks his foot* Owie…*pouts*
Greil: *drop kicks Nero off stage*
Nero: Team Rocket are blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiin!!! *ding*
Greil: Who started this anyway? Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
Senerio: I’m not your nephew. *checks script* Long story short, the little—
Elena: The ickle-wickle-pickles!
Senerio:……people started it. Who brought her back to life? *jabs thumb at Elena*
Elena: *hysterical* WHERE’S MY SON!!!!!! I BET HE’S FALLEN IN A PUDDLE AND DROWNED! HE’S BEEN GONE FOR 8 HOURS, 36 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Senerio: ….*obviously miffed* He’s being emo. In the orchard. Mourning. Or, not yet….not yet. I haven’t killed her yet….*going slowly insane*
Greil: *trying to remember his son’s name* That……DUMB PUP….needs a kick up the ass.
Senerio: I’m supposed to ask you what’s up with your idiot of a son, but of course, BEING HIS CLOSEST, MOST TRUSTED FRIEND I WOULD KNOW!!!!!!
[Enter Ikeio]
Senerio: GO AWAY! ALL OF YOU! I demand to be left alone with him!!! *clings*
Greil: Um......ok, whatever.
[Exeunt Greil and Elena]
Senerio: *glomps* Morning!
Ike: ......Ow, my head.....is it still morning?
Senerio: It's about *looks at the sun, eyes sizzle* 9 o'clock.
Ikeio: *does tragic hero pose* Alas! Sad hours seem so long!
Senerio: Okay, take-two. What in blazes is your problem today?
keio: Um...Elincia told me she still won't go out with me. Then i got drunk. Now my head hurts
Senerio: Aww...what a shame...poor thing.........um. Yeah.
keio: Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
Where shall we dine? O me oh...argh!! *rips up script* I CAN'T READ THIS! And why aren't you laughing at my inability to get a girlfriend yet?
Senerio: Well...I'm glad you didn't end up with the Elincia wench...but I do feel sorry for you.
Ikeio: Um...why?
Senerio: Well, you're a nice guy. It isn't fair that you never end up with the women you like. Besides, you're stealing my thunder. I'm supposed to be the manic depressive emo-boy.
Ikeio: But it says in the script that i have to be the depressed emo one.
Senerio: Well, the directors are the crap casters then. Honestly...I'm supposed to be the perky best friend. How crap is that? Anyway, today is not a day for slagging off the directors.
Ikeio: I hate love! if love was a person, I'd kill it! IT BROKE MY HEART *shakes fist at the the sky*
Senerio: *backs away* That's freakishly evil of you...
Ikeio: Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit
With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit........*flicks through new copy of the script* Urg, this goes on forever! Can we leave already?
Senerio: Guess so *shrugs* Just don't be so stupid about the women.
[Exeunt Ikeio and Senerio]
End of Act 1 Scene 1
Eru (
erulisse14) and I have been working on a parody of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and we've decided to unveil it today.BUT BEFORE you read it, I'd like to say, neither of us want any flames for this. I can't speak for the both of us, but I, for one, completely worship Shakespeare, and I'm not taking the mick when I post this. This is just a little fun.
So, without further adieu, we now unveil the great....
...Ikeio and Karelet!
Cast list:
Starring...
Ike as Ikeio/Romeo
Karel as Karelet/Juliet
Also with...
Stefan as Mercutio (Stefantio)
Soren as Benvolio (Senerio)
Raven as Tybalt (Raybolt)
Lucius as Paris (Lucis)
Eliwood as Prince Verona
Including...
Black Knight as Lord Capulet
Reyson as Lady Capulet
Greil as Lord Montague
Elena as Lady Montague
Bastian as Nurse
Elincia as Rosaline
Rhys as Friar
Aimee as the Apothecary
And...
Little people (Mist, Rolf, Nino...you know) as assorted servants
Paladins (Oscar, Tanith, Sain etc) as soldiers
Geoffrey as the Narrator Guy
Act 1 Scene 1 Cameo: Nero (Dirge of Cerberus)
---
Ikeio and Karelet Act 1 Scene 1
Prologue
[Enter Geoffrey]
Geff: Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood ma--
Random guy in the audience: Get on with it! *throws boot*
Geff: Ow...*sulks and slinks offstage*
Act 1 Scene 1
(Scene: The curtain opens on a couple of streets in a small city. Two men can be seen arguing in a small building. They are seen through the window. The two are clamouring for view of the city.)
Sothe: We shalt not be insultyfied! *glares mencaingly*
Tormod: For then, we shall be dirty and disa...disa...dihonest! *looks righteous*
Sothe: ...Right. Moving on. We will be angry, then, and fight with our ickle, low-budget stage daggers! And...I'm loosing the plot of this arguement so let's skip to about...*runs finger down a battered copy of the script*...here!
[Enter a load of little people]
Sothe: *muttering to himself as he reads the script* My naked weapon is out...cripes, I'm so not saying that. Um...I'm gonna keel you guys!
Tormod: *confused* Say what? Say what?!
Sothe: *lost in his rage and bad acting* Fear me!
Tormod: I fear thee!...
Sothe: However...I just escaped from the dungeons, so let's be good and obey the law.
Tormod: Oh, fine. *pokes head out of the window and pulls a stupid face at the approaching people*
Sothe: And I'll give 'em the good ol' finger!
Nils: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sothe: No, dude, this is my middle finger.
Nils: *glares at script* I just said this! You! Are you biting your thumb at us NOW?!
Sothe: [Aside to Tormod] Will I get in trouble if I say yes?
Tormod: Uh, yeah.
Sothe: *calls back out the window* No, not at you!
Tormod: *gets defensive and storms out of the building to confront Nils and Nino* Are you pickin' a beef, bruv? Are ya? Huh? Are ya?
Nino: This is Shakespeare, not Chavspeare. Have you even read the script?
Tormod: Well ARE YA? Stop stallin'!
Nils: *pakistani accent* Maybe, maybe not...
Sothe: Well, tough, because we're picking one anyway.
[Enter Senerio]
Tormod: Look! Here comes Senerio! Hi Senerio!!
Sothe: *still in chav mode* Whateva...
Nils: *is getting bored, looks down at a rock* You offend me.
Sothe: *remembers they're supposed to be fighting* Draw, if you be men!...or something.
*they fight*
Senerio: Idiocy.
Nino: CATCHPHRASE!! *runs in spazzy fangirly circles*
Senerio: Part, fools! Put up your swords, you know not what you do! *uses funky wind magic and breaks their stage weaponry*
[Enter Raybolt]
Raybolt: Ooh! Fighting! Can I kill you?!
Senerio: Stop, collaborate, and listen! THEY are fighting. I'M breaking them up!
Raybolt: *imagines the word peace in the sentence* Peace? PEACE? I hate the word! And just for that I'm gonna fight you!
Senerio: Oh, whatever *flashes legs subtlety*
Raybolt: *has a nosebleed, which signals the whole street to begin fighting*
Kieran: *rides in valiantly* KILL ZEM ALL!!
*BK theme song*
Mist: *is currently missing an eye* Uh oh…that’s not good…
[Enter Black Knight and Reyson]
BK: *reading off script glued in the front of his helmet* What noise is this? Give me my longsword, ho! *crashes into wall*
Reyson: *steals BK’s helmet and reads off the inside* A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a sword?
BK: *scheming voice* I have someone to kill…………..*steals helmet back to protect his PRECIOUS IDENTITY!!*
[Enter Greil and Elena]
Greil: Um…Grr!
Elena: Once more, with feeling!
Greil: GRR!! It’s you!! *points at BK*
Elena: *bawls like a baby* NO FIGHTING!
[Enter Eliwood with a toy train with paladins] *everyone stares*
Eliwood: It says I have a train….! *switches into hero mode* Put down your weapons, you evil evil EVIL people! This is the THIRD fight I’ve had to break up! If I find you guys fighting again, I’m gonna kill you! Or at least make you listen to my long heroic speeches!...so yeah. You! *points and clicks fingers* Guy in the armour who we’re not supposed to know who you are!...come with me!
*evil darkness envelopes everyone except Greil, Elena and Senerio. That means they exeunt, genius*
Nero: WOOT! I’M NOT EVEN IN THIS PLAY! SUCCUMB TO OBLIVION YOU SUCKERS!
Senerio: *attempts to kick off stage, but instead breaks his foot* Owie…*pouts*
Greil: *drop kicks Nero off stage*
Nero: Team Rocket are blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiin!!! *ding*
Greil: Who started this anyway? Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
Senerio: I’m not your nephew. *checks script* Long story short, the little—
Elena: The ickle-wickle-pickles!
Senerio:……people started it. Who brought her back to life? *jabs thumb at Elena*
Elena: *hysterical* WHERE’S MY SON!!!!!! I BET HE’S FALLEN IN A PUDDLE AND DROWNED! HE’S BEEN GONE FOR 8 HOURS, 36 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Senerio: ….*obviously miffed* He’s being emo. In the orchard. Mourning. Or, not yet….not yet. I haven’t killed her yet….*going slowly insane*
Greil: *trying to remember his son’s name* That……DUMB PUP….needs a kick up the ass.
Senerio: I’m supposed to ask you what’s up with your idiot of a son, but of course, BEING HIS CLOSEST, MOST TRUSTED FRIEND I WOULD KNOW!!!!!!
[Enter Ikeio]
Senerio: GO AWAY! ALL OF YOU! I demand to be left alone with him!!! *clings*
Greil: Um......ok, whatever.
[Exeunt Greil and Elena]
Senerio: *glomps* Morning!
Ike: ......Ow, my head.....is it still morning?
Senerio: It's about *looks at the sun, eyes sizzle* 9 o'clock.
Ikeio: *does tragic hero pose* Alas! Sad hours seem so long!
Senerio: Okay, take-two. What in blazes is your problem today?
keio: Um...Elincia told me she still won't go out with me. Then i got drunk. Now my head hurts
Senerio: Aww...what a shame...poor thing.........um. Yeah.
keio: Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
Where shall we dine? O me oh...argh!! *rips up script* I CAN'T READ THIS! And why aren't you laughing at my inability to get a girlfriend yet?
Senerio: Well...I'm glad you didn't end up with the Elincia wench...but I do feel sorry for you.
Ikeio: Um...why?
Senerio: Well, you're a nice guy. It isn't fair that you never end up with the women you like. Besides, you're stealing my thunder. I'm supposed to be the manic depressive emo-boy.
Ikeio: But it says in the script that i have to be the depressed emo one.
Senerio: Well, the directors are the crap casters then. Honestly...I'm supposed to be the perky best friend. How crap is that? Anyway, today is not a day for slagging off the directors.
Ikeio: I hate love! if love was a person, I'd kill it! IT BROKE MY HEART *shakes fist at the the sky*
Senerio: *backs away* That's freakishly evil of you...
Ikeio: Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit
With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit........*flicks through new copy of the script* Urg, this goes on forever! Can we leave already?
Senerio: Guess so *shrugs* Just don't be so stupid about the women.
[Exeunt Ikeio and Senerio]
End of Act 1 Scene 1