Weirdest-ever fanfic/fanart pairings

The FE fandom is full of them, be they yaoi, yuri, or het. This thread is for appreciating/showing disgust for the strangest, least likely, or most disgusting pairings you've ever seen. Oh, and feel free to mention any terrible/ridiculous OOC behavior.

FE9
Naesala/Ike (Interesting, but WTF?)
Shinon/Ike (Huh? Shinon HATES him....)
Mordecai/Stefan (.....)
Shinon/Rolf (EEW! Shoutacon!)
Lethe/Soren (Amusing, but would never work.)
Random Branded Mary Sue wvyern lord with impossible laguz lineage/Soren (it's looking to be that way, anyhow)

Also, there was one where Greil raped Mist and Rolf. I did not so much as attempt to read that one.

FE8- I don't read this one as much, but I've seen a few

Eirika/L'Arachel
Saleh/Ewan (Huh? Not another shoutacon!)
Tethys/Marisa (Do they even support? I forgot.)

FE7

Karel rapes Ninian
Eliwood and Hector rape any woman they can while trying to take over the world.
Canas/Erk (I have no idea why this would happen. Just because they both like studying?)
Eliwood owning Ninian as a slave
Marcus/Merlinus (Ew, Merlinus!)
Lots and lots of tacticians as Mary Sue/Gary Stu paired with author's fave character.

Random though: Could anyone else see Lucia/Elincia as a possibility?