take my heart

needing

2005-11-03T14:27:33Z

for once i cut my hair [[myself]] and i love it.
i'm awesome.

also. i have come to the conclusion that i am, in fact, one of the most anti-social people i know. i've become a hermit. or maybe i just intensified it.
either way.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.
holly will be at boston pizza around 6'oclock [pm] on saturday?

the first eskimo bible was printed in Copenhagen in 1744

2005-10-21T17:24:56Z

ice cream was originally made without sugar and eggs.

uhhm, my foot's asleep.

sorry... i was ready to say somethin`

an insiders guide

2005-10-18T11:28:56Z

whoa!!

so[fucking]long.

so i've decided to maybe try & keep this up again...
and that i might start stalking danielle.

fathomless @ 2005-02-23T08:56:00

2005-02-23T12:53:49Z

hey danielle,
lets get drunk?

fathomless @ 2005-01-01T11:41:00

2005-01-01T03:40:52Z

well
tomorrow's a new ~~day~~year...
danielle. sorry i turned out to be such an half assed friend.

fathomless @ 2004-11-15T11:43:00

2004-11-15T08:10:30Z

i know so well,
you can list your friends..
but you can't count on them.

it's pathedic how you have to watch what you say,
'cause someone else will turn your words inside out.
well i'm just going to shut up.

and i have no problem with that because i have nothing left to say.

BUT! i do always have one person i can count on.. no matter what i need him for.... i'm not forgetting you.

whee warp her fig least heal

2004-11-09T15:26:58Z

i got this great book.
it's a book of questions,
the back explains it: ask yourself. ask your friends. ask your parents. this books gives you permission to ask those things that are too bold, too embarrassing, or just too difficult to ask by yourself.

so i just flip to random pages,
i'm finding out alot about myself+others.

i'm going to answer a few,
if you want ('cause i want you to) answer them too!!
if you love this as much as i do let me know and i'll give you ever more to answer! haha
maybe not everyones as crazy as i am...
d'ohwell.

here i go:
someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murder, and unfortunately is aquitted of the crime. would you seek revenge? uhhm, i'd like to say yes, but really what could i do? if he/she's willing to brutally murder my friend, why not me? and two deaths is never needed. it would just be stupid, plus i could never be around someone who is actually able to kill another human being.

would you like to know the precise date of your death?hell no.

in love, is intensity or permanance more important to you? INTENSITY a short passionate relationship beats out a long dull one.

if you could choose the mannar of your death, what would it be if i understand this (ha ha) i'd choose... in my sleep. i'm terrified of death :/

would $50,000 be enough to enduce you to take a loyal, healthy pet to the vet to be put to sleep? nooooo

we were perfectly still

fathomless @ 2004-10-01T18:29:00

2004-10-01T14:39:12Z

for blaming myself for your unhappiness..
and for my impatience when i was perfect where i was.
ignoring all the signs that i was not ready,
and expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be.
well, i wonder which crime is the biggest?
forgetting you or forgetting myself...

and for denying myself to somehow make us compatible..
and for trying to fit a rectangle into a hole.

the thing is.. it's my life, so FUCK OFF. what i do or don't want people to know.. i will or won't tell them, myself.

<3<3

there's a butterfly trapped in a spiders web ^%*#____

2004-09-25T08:39:48Z

okay so me, lisa, graham and cody took a trip up to the villa yesterday. my first time. that place is wayyyyy too creepy. to top it off, on our way out of there after snagging tons of books on the supernatural and hitler. this guy with a bull dozer came flying at us and smashed into the building and then came right for lisa's car. so lis ran in front of it and he stopped.... he laughed something crazy and sped off. needless to say we jumped in the car and got out of there as fast as we could. gahhh
if anyone knows the story behind the villa..... please share.
:)

stop talking jibberish..or just stop talking.

2004-09-17T06:38:02Z

"i need to believe that when i close my eyes the worlds still there"

copied from danielle. exactly.

2004-08-09T18:33:07Z

quiz #2 this one amused me more than it should have;

Type your name with your:
Nose: holly
Elbow: holly
Tongue: ol
Chin: holl,hy
Feet: hhiolloy
Eyes closed, one finger: holly ("holy shit" brett is my witness)
Back of hand: uhuo-lply7
Palm: hoilly
Eyes closed: holly
Wrist: hnjolil.l.hyj

quiz #3 (last one)

-- RANDOM --
Nervous Habits? - talking with my hands, stuttering, chewing on my lip.
Are you double jointed? - nope
Can you roll your tongue? - yep
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? - yes
Can you blow spit bubbles? - yes
Can you cross your eyes? - yep
Tattoos? - nope
Piercings and where? - yes: ears
Do you make your bed daily? - never
In your CD player? olp
Person you talk most on the phone with? brett or pam
Ever taken a cab? a few times
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?- yep
What color is your bedroom?- dark purple
Do you use an alarm clock? sadly
Window seat or aisle? window
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? hopefully in my black living room charging for tarot card readings

-- CLOTHES --
Which shoe goes on first? - right
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? i have!
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? i never have money......
What jewelry do you wear 24/7? - necklace + plugs + rings
Favorite piece of clothing? - my grey sweats

-- FOOD --
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? - twirl+i just had spaghetti
Have you ever eaten Spam? - no
Favorite ice cream flavor? - chocolate
How many cereals in your cabinet? always special k for me and honey nut cherios for les
What's your favourite beverage? i'd say.... milk
What's your favorite restaurant? i hate restauraunt food. always gross. i like taverns.
Do you cook? sometimes

-- GROOMING --
How often do you brush your teeth? when i feel the need and morning and night.
Hair drying method? i dont really have one
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? deffinately

-- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE --
Animal?- lion/pigs
Food?- umm, i cant decide stop asking me this.
Month?- august
Day?- saturday
Cartoon?- simpsons/brett has me hooked on family guy
Shoe Brand?- dont care
Subject in school?- i love art/english
Color?- orange/purple
Sport?- i enjoy watching hockey.. if it really competitive
TV show?- third watch for sure
Thing to do in the spring? sleep
Thing to do in the summer? honestly... sleep
Thing to do in the fall? sleep in
Thing to do in the winter? christmas shop .. and nap

-- LA LA LAND --
What's your sleeping position? on my right side, my arm streched out too witg my head on it and i balance with my other hand with my chin on my back hand. i cant sleep unlessd im like this.
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?- i'll try. but i wake up nude
Do you snore?- nope
Do you sleepwalk?- nope
Do you talk in your sleep?- nope
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? hes around, wether it be on the bed with me, inder it, hidden in piles of clothes. whatev.
How about with the light on?- need NO NOISE, NO LIGHT
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?- nope i cant

-- WHICH IS BETTER --
Oranges or apples? oranges
One pillow or two? 3-4
Deaf or blind? ive thought of this many times and i really cant decide
Pools or hot tubs? pools, i cant breathe in hot tubs.. ? wierd
Tall or short? doesnt matter
Beach or pool? pool
Tic-Tacs or Certs? certs
Snooze button or jump out of bed? jump out of bed
Sunrise or sunset? sunset
Hamburger or cheeseburger? depends
Morning or night? night
Indoors or outdoors? depends
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? christmas eve
Cake or ice cream? mccain cake
Spearmint or peppermint? spearmint
Bath or shower? bath
Book or movie? movie
Green or red apples? yellow
Rain or snow? rain

"do it" -starsky

2004-08-05T20:02:23Z

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

fathomless @ 2004-08-05T18:42:00

2004-08-05T16:14:17Z

lets just cut to the case

what's been done/seen/along those lines
downtown
much
shopping til dropping
walks along beaches
wonderland
lazyness
i got my hair alll cut off
rock climbing
movies
laundry
serious lightning storms
niagara falls
tons'o'money spent in arcades
crazy ladies
skinheads
subway
fiive steps long (ha ha)
zoo (i saw sosososo many animals)

&&&&&&my birthday

okay so i woke up .. or well, brett woke me up. we got all ready and he took me to nickles for breafast :) (i love that place) after that we caught the bus/subway downtown and got lost 'cause we couldn't find the place brett needed to find, so when we figured that out it turned out he got me a ring :) not just any ring, but a ring i have been fond about for quite some time. so then as we were walking back we found and art studio time place. we decided to check it out, i ended up making a coster, he made a mug. you need to see these. neatest things i've ever done. they come out all..... beautiful. APRES CA ~~arthur~~brett took me back in time. yes all, back to dine with the knights at the round table.
so we went to the midevil times dinner theater. wicked awesome time. when we got home from that we finished the night by giving me a birthday cake, flowers, a costum made candle (need to see this). so amazing!!!

lots more to do,
such as
go karting
john mayer concert
warped tour
another dinner theater maybe?
ontario place
paint balling
pool
tattoos
golf
cn tower

and whatever else we get into. awww yeah.

i miss my cat.

..the beauty !!

2004-07-27T09:22:07Z

me and brett love to spend mornings looking like...

and a little normalty
</cut>

fathomless @ 2004-07-20T15:45:00

2004-07-20T11:55:04Z

alas, i have some alone time on a computer.
i'm at my moms work in burnside after a stressful day.
but all's well and i am set.
summer, well i would complain.. but i am not in school so i am happy as can be. even though it's slowslow and the weathers jynxed or something.. it hasn't been too bad.

THE GOOD STUFF
-i think things with me and brett are finally smoothed over.
-me and daniel are A-okay. that makes me happyhappyhappy.
-danielle is gorgeous and proves/reminds me of it every time i get to see her :)
-i got to hangout with steve noiles!!!!
-i got some quality time in with tymm too, skot where are you?
-i watched mathyoo's ~~pig~~frog eat. interesting.
-i am going to get all my hair chopped off in T.O (does this make you happy danielle? i can be gorgeous(ha) along with you)
-i've got alotalot of time in with pammy and lisa.
-ryan frizzell came home for a bit!!! that's fun.
-attempting to ride ponys.
-sneakpeaks when the whole front wall is glass. (haha)
-i cut lisas hair and it looks soso good.
-walks/talks/talkingtodeadpeople.

AWESOME

there's more.. but ya know.. you heard enough.

fathomless @ 2004-06-28T12:13:00

2004-06-28T08:08:03Z

regardless if my pictures (MY pictures) line your mirror or not.. i'll still wait for your call.

pam is wonderful

2004-06-23T10:02:24Z

today i was working in the tanning place. i cleaned beds and it was fun.
i love working there.
i talked to pam on the phone most of the time, which was great because i love her.
i went to bretts prom the other night, that was good.
we danced ... ate food ... some creepy boy watched me change ... went to safe grad. good times.
tonight im hopefully getting drunk with pam. .... and whoever else?
maybe goign to this hotel party kinda thing for other peoples after prom thing.

ok well im done so bye.

p.s. this is pam.... holly told me to update this for her...
muahaha

i'm forgotten

2004-06-01T04:37:38Z

making room for every emotion.

i don't feel much at all.

loving someone can actually feel like freedom

2004-05-21T10:12:05Z

you live you learn.
$@^&^%@___!!*
almost.
alot, alot of changes going on lately. some good, some bad, some surprising.
i'm starting to look forward to things alot more, than when i was always missing something. just the opposite and what a difference.
time is flying by, i talked to brett lastnight. first conversation that went really well. we talked of graduation. %$# so close.
i dont know if he wants me there anymore. or really whats the deal with prom. need to know those things. i've got a huge need to know/do list. yeahuh.

adios.

fathomless @ 2004-05-17T10:21:00

2004-05-17T06:14:52Z

my computers br0ken, for those of you who might care about why it seems like i fell out of orbit. maybe you don't.

i love jil,

that's about all i got to say. now i'll go make love to my lover jil.

fathomless @ 2004-04-16T12:43:00

2004-04-16T08:48:39Z

i remember feeling low
and i remember losing hope
~~and i remember all the feelings and the day they stopped~~

fuck.

all the hell i put you through

2004-04-09T07:05:35Z

yesterday was really nice. you all know that. i am totally stating the obvious. i am looking forward to this summer like no one's ever looked forward to any other summer before. that's right. i wrote that out and i'm not sure it makes sense. d'ah well.
so danielle finished school yesterday. what a bitch.
no, this can only bring greatgreat things. now she'll be less stressed out, and not that she ever wasn't, but the fun can start again.
danielle i hope you know you'll be seeing way more of me, no questions asked.
matt did you fall off the earth?
daniel's home. alot of people are happy about it. and even though me and him are.. fucked, for reasons i think i've even forgotten. welcome home.
the coffee house was fun. i estimated spending about 14 hrs at school that day. that's just wrong. i must have had a fever or something. everybody told me yesterday how great brett did, but i already knew that people.. tell hiiim that.
i also found the judges comment papers in students counsil and saw the comments from music mania. said things such as: "good stage presence.//stong vocals.//and i dont remember the last one word by word but it was something like about how the sounds and stuff went well together because, jesus i dont know. you boys sounded real well"
OHHH "good set of pipes" it said this on one of those, and i forget who it was.. but they were like "they get judged on thier arms?" ha ha. that was great. i love bretts voice.

coffee house was pretty G-D amazing. it was long, but all the acts were so good. LINDSAY--even when things got to the point where it was almost un-barable, you stuck through it. i'm so proud. you basically turned coffee house into your own thang and at the rate things are going you're going to make them better and better. the whole atmosphere had lindsaycoolvibes all through it. i pitty the fool (ha ha) who has to take charge after this and top what you've done. yeer hee LINDSAY YOU DONE WELL.

i'm broke and you can't fix it

2004-04-04T09:18:46Z

i spent all friday morning in the library making a shirt for coffee house. part of our promo. i'm going to wear it monday/tuesday/annnnd.wednesday. becauseiloveitsomuch. no, not really. butbutbut, you've read this before i'm sure...
shs coffee house.
wednesday april 7th.
5 dolla.
doors open at six.
so you all better come. and afterwards when you're all in awe, you should personally thank lindsay shornys for putting so much hardwork and ideas into it. just look for the hottest girl in theee room.

i just got back from smittys. or, the one on the other side..
anyways. i tasted skots milkshake and it reminded me alotalot of when every friday my dad would take me out to lunch at this place right across from the forum in halifax and i'd get a chocolate milkshake and fries&gravy every time.
i miss that.

me? save you?

2004-03-17T19:25:05Z

what a fucking day.
horriblehorrible, well. for the most part.
i fucking hate myself, and so do you.

you can't say things and just expect them to desolve in the air and be forgotten,
some things hover over you and stick. then they smear all over your face and thats all i can see.

okay so i went to bed really mad lastnight so i already knew today wasn't going to be great.
boredum got the best of me. so i played my CD that makes me happy. it's all oldold stuff. reminds my ~~idiot~~ mother of highschool.
and i drew my fingers numb. nothing special, just doodles colored in. phone rang, t'was linds and i went over. her and sean are my most favorite couple ever ever ever ever ever.

i came ho'didley'ome and started at my drawings again. yeah i have no life.
BUT PAMMY CALLED ME. she told me about K-bec and the crazy things that happened to them having no place to stay and whatnot.
(LINDS, from earlier conversation, it was maggie!!! she was fucked and had to go to the hospital and stuff, i guess)
yeah she told me everything for like an hour and now i'm waiting to see if she's comin' down or not. if she does we'll probably just both passout. i'm tired, for no good reason. she's tired, she just spent 9 hrs in a car.

it was easy when you were younger.. you could put it back together...

2004-03-14T08:10:17Z

you came up unexpected,
but i had to follow through.

i smell brett. probably because i am wearing his clothes and went to his house friday night and just got home like an hour ago. it's my hideout.

i fucking hate my mother...

so this is a mistake, try to find better way.. you were never fond of anything i'd say. can we begin again? save it for another friend? i was happy in my laugh, i wont pretend. everytime we were expecting to reach out and forgive this, i was hardend by the look apon your face.

me and linds were talking in the van going up smokey about our talk of a lifetime. fuck i love lindsay. she's honestly my twin.

.........and thats all i got.

p.s i loved hanging out with brad and justin again. loved it!!!