I decided to post a dream again, though one significantly less clearly bad.
I have attempted to capture something of the goofy action movie vibe it felt. I suspect that I would be played by will farrell or kevin james in the movie version, though in my dream i was thankfully played by myself. It would be sad to have a celebrity stand-in in your dreams.

If it makes no sense I blame it on lack of sleep rather than admitting my poor writing skills.
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Regarding Saint Valentine


Why is this day different from all other days, well not because on this day we remember the plight of our ancestors… or anything important, but because I fucking hate it. I suppose there are reasons, intellectual objections (Socio-historically) and subjectively…. why I hate Valentine’s Day?

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I may hate Valentine’s day, but I’d like to wish everyone else a great one, may the romance be genuine for you, and if this day does find you alone know that you aren’t the only one.

Greetings to you livejournal, sorry I haven't been around in a long time. I just noticed that I missed you and wanted to check in on how you are doing. I'm glad you are still here.

I would promise to be back often but you know how I hate to lie to websites. Since the only thing going on in my head lately is dissertation stuff that I don't want to write any more about that than I already do I'm not likely to update often. sorry.

I do hope the other people out there are doing well.
G

I just woke up in San Francisco, and while Jet lag means I have suddenly lost my late night party schedule, I am glad to be this step closer to home. Who's up for hanging out in the Bay area?

Question, perhaps rhetorical, having heard someone discussing it recently I'm revisiting the definitions of Ex-pat - Traveler - Tourist and wondering about it. So what do you think the differrences are, what are the definitions?

My discussing definitions.
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Oh, and a Pith Helmet, really?

Today a tour bus full of white (i'd guess european rather than american) tourists disgorged its passengers in front of the mall as I finished a cigarette before going inside. One pair of folks standing around, may or may not have come off the bus, but they in particular stood out. The man in khaki shorts and a tee shirt wore a slightly lighter version of a pith helmet, and the woman white pants, a brightly colored tee shirt and carried a sun hat. What struck me about this is the rediculousness of his hat. it is not to say that on a jungle expedition i wouldn't appreciate the shade and irony of wearing a pith helmet, but to wear one in an urban area, and to express so little outword sign of recognition of the irony stymied me. The pith helmet is a classic and timeless symbol of the colonial intruder. Made famous by the british ruling class in india as well as both asia and africa more generally it's pretty recognizable. I can't quite imagine the mindset of one who would wear it while touristing in a foreign city.

Met a couple more guys who were passing through, Roberto (who turned out to be one of the ex boyfriends of my Lady boy pal Bunny) and his friend David, nicknamed wombat, who are perhaps clearly from that Australian. Rob talked about visiting the states and we watched part of a rugby match, league rather than Union I think, whichever the less violent more comercial version, slower. It was interesting to have it narrated and discussed in terms of the state of rugby in australia, since I know so little about the game. We also discussed the state of american politics because he was interested in the current healthcare debate after I mentioned i study healthcare. It is interesting how universal the confusion from australians seems to be when i describe the lack of access to medicine in the US, as well as cost, since though they abstractly know we don't have a national health system like they do but they don't usually have a sense of what that is like.

I remember talking to a middle aged New Zealand woman, who's husband was a foreman for a tunnel boring company.... making me think of a friend's wife (kelsey married to my classmate Kevin) who's father is a tunnel boring engineer. Anyhow, she had followed the controversy about the healthcare bill pretty tightly, but hadn't a sense of the context around it, and I remember her response to my saying the whole thing was a "mess". She said more or less "Worse than a mess, you spend more nationally than we do per capita and don't even provide healthcare to the people. Where does the bloody money go?" I told her I couldn't really say and we discussed the failings of our free trade ideas about healthcare, but I confused her when I said healthcare wasn't really seen as a right in the US. "if medicine isn't something you'r entitled to what is?" she asked. I responded, "firemen... most places" and sort of winked. She wasn't amused, rather horrified.

But discussing healthcare with a ladyboy and two bisexual middle aged working class australian men reminded me of it, because once again the basic idea that healthcare should somehow have escaped a naturalized sense of what services the government provides seemed a bit daft to them.

Later, Ken (an older australian with teenage kids from his third marriage, a filipina) visiting manila for the first time in nearly twenty years, and I talked. Ken was with his sister, and his friend (can't remember his name) an australian citizen of Philipino extraction, having left around 18 years old and only been back once since. He works with ken on the sidney metro railroad, and seemed a profoundly good natured guy. As does Ken when he isn't so drunk you can't understand him through the accent and slurring. We talked about perception of the philippine people as outsiders, which was particularly interesting since the friend considered himself an australian after thirty years there. Ken said that they were the best, because they are nice people, which once again contained the element of servility which disturbs me at times. because I think part of what makes people say that the Philippino is nice is about the service culture towards foreigners.... though I think the general culture underlies that. I've talked to a lot of people about the general tendency I have seen towards acceptance of the world as it is, and the willingness to go with the flow that I see as a big part, more than the fundamental niceness. That one must, come what may, simply keep doing the thing you do. Which in the cases of many of the tourists and expats means, that no matter how annoying they are, they get treated well. Ken's friend mentioned that he thought it was about the fact that people cared here, about doing a good job, about other people, in a way that was particular, and I think in some ways I'm more comfortable with that assesment, because it recognizes something positive about the people underlying or contributing to the service with a smile that I think is what Ken responds too... Though I should again say Ken was drunk and I perhaps under rate his perception since his wife wasn't there, and he has spent much more time here and with her than I am likely to ever spend here and with philippinos.

Part way through the night the Roberto, David and Bunny left and I met Charles or "Chuckie" a born again christian American, living in Seattle, though with a southern accent. Something struck me as slightly off about him, but he seemed nice enough initialy, and I marked it down to his being an american, which always makes me worried, because as I have told others here... it seems to me that the people who leave the US are generally the assholes, which gives us a sort of deserving bad name. I've met a couple nice americans, but they were permanant ex-pats, as a rule the other american short term travelers I've met have been dicks. Which is supportd by the three or four different folk who have given me public exemptions from the general "americans are wankers" which I can see.

Still later, after Bunny came back Chuckie and Ken's sister Jennifer "jenny" went to grab a drink because they both felt the need to get out of the bar, around 12:30 and I stayed talking to ken and his friend even while Bunny and most folks headed out. Around 1:15 Chuckie came stumbling in without Jenny, and what i love about the slouch hat was once again clear. As soon as he was in the door, along with welcoming him, Renee, the night manager, Elsa, one of the waitresses, both people i really like, me and ken's friend all asked where Jenny was. Chuckie said she left the bar before him, and ignored the rapidly growing concern, stumbling over to me saying it was funny, she kept asking him to dance, I said yeah, well drunkness will do that. I asked where she was and he reiterated she had left before him, then he stumbled off to bed, ignoring our concern except to answer the question of which bar they had been in. Poseidon a few blocks straight up the street.

Momentarily a discussion of what to do happened, Elsa remembered having made Jenny take a card for the hotel which was some reassurance because it meant at worst she would get a cab... except we could all imagine worse. So we waited and worried a moment, and the staff alerted the door guard to look for her, and then started planning whether to send out a search party, which i went to offer to join, when a cab pulled up with Jenny in it. She was paniced, and teary eyed. She had been fed up with him being weird, which I am sure he was, since he had commented to me about his blowing her off when she wanted to dance. Then when she turned around to rejoin him at the table, after being at the bar, he was gone. She had tried to walk back, but having chosen the wrong direction out of the bar was presented with no recognizable landmarks and she started to panic and got lost worse. She got into a cab, even more panicy because she had no cash. Having been told not to worry about cash by chuckie, since her brother was carrying the money. He had at least paid there drink bill at Poseidon...

For an hour or so, we all sat and talked to her, and agreed he was an asshole, and that it was inappropriate to abandon someone, but assured her she was alright. I hate seeing someone that upset, and I'll ask later today whether there was a confrontation with him yesterday... though I basically spent my day in the room recuperating from a hangover and my damaged sleep schedule... though they are both reset to basic today. No hangover, and able to get up in the morning again.

I don't know, the whole thing struck me. The atmposphere among the core staff really does manage to have a family vibe, and any patron they have met a few times is taken care of and worried about.

I've been meeting the new croud of expats and travelers coming through the bar, and wanted to mention a couple to remember.

Shane and Gary, two working class guys from Brisbane, they were incredibly nice and I'm hoping that Shane's wife (Filipina) named Perla will be getting in touch on Facebook so maybe I can try to keep in touch with them. Older, and hard drinking they just struck me as genuinly good guys, we hung out for the night or two they were in the Slouch and had a game of pool.

Suddenly blanking on his name, an american expat, i think originally from texas, but lived in central american for the last 20 years, most recently in Nicaragua. He is a nice guy, recently moved to the Philippines to settle having lost the bar he bought on the coast in Nicaragua. He has lived all over central america, and without the bar is hoping to find a way to settle here, trying to convince a friend who might buy a bar here to let him run it. He has a sort of no-nonsense approach to things, such as letting himself get used to sleeping in fan rooms to save money, which pleases me.

There is a choir singing in the mall today, I stopped in to check email and maybe hit the grocery store for shaving cream and room provisions. This mall, is the one I was at before when I was in Manila, as I have returned here. Oddly it seems easier to write again as I feel like little time has passed, India having been a blink of an eye. I’m going to try to add back entries mostly for my own memory, but if people notice them they are welcome to read them also. I had stopped writing in the journal when my brother came to manila about 4 days before we left to Thailand. One Month recap of life:
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So here I am back in Manila, with no clue what I am doing, more notes on Sex tourism then Medical tourism, and a real desire to be home no matter how much I like some things about being here. About a month before my flight to San Francisco and I will be back in NYC a few days after that.

Because I haven't posted lately... A quiz meme thing...

Taken From CorneredAngel
Like it's 2003
If you comment I have to:

1. Respond with something random about you.

2. Tell you which color you remind me of.

3. Tell you my first memory of you.

4. Tell you what animal you remind me of.

5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you.

6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.

7. Tell you my least favorite thing about you.

(*** TOTALLY OPTIONAL *** 8. Challenge you to post this on your journal.)

Stopped in the mall to catch up on email after going for a rousing game of bowling with an american expat, the same one I think is in the post after this one, he hadn't played since moving to nicaragua, which means years, and we were about evenly matched.

Sitting down at the starbucks for the internet, I shared the table as I usually do, since i am sitting there forever without buying anything and met a pair of Computer engineering professors, we had a nice long talk, i tried to explain sociology and the impact of social conditioning such as media to them, in reference to perceptions of healthcare, and the idea of the streets paved with gold in the US. they were nice, and interested, though it didn't make a ton of sense to them. They are used to thinking of things as black and white, and my saying that things are a bit grey is always fun for me.