No, I get it. I do. You’ve got a job. I respect that. Honestly? I respect structure. People don’t think that about me but it’s true. I’m very organized. I’m—

I’m very organized.

You want water? I’m the one with the water and you’re just sitting there. That feels backwards.

Okay. Okay okay okay.

So you want to know about the phone. The Telegram stuff. That’s what this is. That’s—okay. You’re not going to tell me. That’s fine. I understand methodology. I understand process. You create a vacuum and you wait. You just wait for me to fill it. That’s interrogation theory. I’ve read about this. I know how it works. But knowing how something works and being immune to it are different things. I know that too.

Here’s what you’re not accounting for, though. I’m not a fucking idiot.

I know what I look like. I know what you see. You see a guy who got pulled over with a little bit of something in his car and you think, okay, we squeeze this guy, he gets scared, he starts naming names. But that’s not what this is. Because I don’t have names to give. Because I’m not in anything. Because there’s nothing to be in.

Can I ask you something? Just—human to human. Off the record.

Yeah, I know there’s no off the record. I know the recorder’s going. I’m not—that’s not what I mean. I just mean: do you like your job? The day to day. Because I feel like this—sitting in rooms, waiting—this has to get old. This has to feel like a waste of your—

Okay. Sure. Back to it.

The Telegram thing. So, look. You have my phone. You’ve seen it. So you already know what’s on there, which means this is—what, a test? You want to see if I’ll lie? I’m not going to lie. I have a Telegram account. Lots of people have Telegram accounts. My grandmother has a Telegram account. She sends me pictures of borscht at 3 AM.

What do I use it for? Conversations. Private conversations. Which is constitutional. The founding fathers were very clear about Telegram.

That’s a joke.

I’m—that was a joke.

Okay.

So the account. “ChemistryTutor614.” That’s me. I’m not going to pretend it’s not. And if you’re asking do I understand how that looks—yes. It looks like a guy selling drugs. It looks like a whole operation. Very organized. I said I was organized.

I keep saying that.

But here’s what I need you to understand. The people who came to me—and I’m not admitting anything, I’m speaking hypothetically—the people who came to me were adults. Grown adults making grown decisions. I didn’t seek anyone out. I didn’t target anyone. I’m not a fucking monster. I’m a guy who maybe, allegedly, provided a service to people who were going to get that service somewhere.

You know what I actually am? Harm reduction. You know what that is? It’s when you actually give a shit. It’s when you test your product. It’s when you tell people what’s in things. It’s when you’re not cutting shit with fentanyl because you want an extra eight percent margin.

I never touched fentanyl. I need you to write that down. I never touched it. I wouldn’t. I have ethics about this. Which I know sounds—I know how that sounds. I know you’re sitting there thinking this guy is insane, he’s talking about ethics while he’s—but I’m not confessing. I’m contextualizing. There’s a difference.

Is it hot in here?

Why do you keep looking at the door?

I’m fine. I’m just saying it’s hot. I’m allowed to make observations. That’s not a crime. “Suspect observed that the interrogation room was poorly ventilated.” Put that in the file.

Where was I.

Harm reduction. I tested everything. I have a whole kit. Had. Which you probably have now. Which should help me, right? That shows I cared. That shows I wasn’t just—I wasn’t only in this for the money. I mean, I was in it for the money. Obviously. But I also cared. Both can be true.

I read a lot about this stuff. Kaizen. Continuous improvement. Small adjustments. I’m not comparing myself to Toyota. That’s not what I’m—

The point is I had systems.

I was careful.

I was careful.

Can I see the time? There’s no clock in here. That’s on purpose. That’s part of the methodology. You want me to feel unmoored. Temporally. I told you, I’ve read about—

You want the backstory? Fine. Here’s the backstory. I grew up in Whitehall. My dad worked at the plant until there wasn’t a plant. My mom worked at the hospital until there wasn’t a hospital. And I was supposed to, what, go to college? Become an accountant? Those jobs are apps now. So I found something I was good at. Something where I could use my brain. Something where I could help people. That has value. That’s not nothing.

That’s the speech. That’s what I tell myself.

I’m not Walter White. There was no empire. There was just me and my phone and some good product and a little hustle. You’ve seen the numbers. It’s not—it’s small. It’s a guy making rent.

Wait.

Why are you—what is that?

That’s—where did that come from? You’ve been sitting there this whole time, you didn’t have a—was that under the table?

What’s in the folder.

I don’t want to see what’s in the folder. Actually. I changed my mind.

No. Okay. Show me.

I don’t know her.

I don’t—that’s just a photo of a person. I’ve never seen that person. I don’t know why you’re showing me a photo of—

I don’t know anyone named Maddie.

I don’t.

I talk to a lot of people. That’s the business. You build relationships. But I don’t memorize every—

MadHatter23.

Jesus Christ.

She said—no. No no no. I’m done. I want a lawyer. I should have had a lawyer this whole time. You let me sit here and talk and you just—you had a folder the whole time—

I want a lawyer.

I want—

She said she was twenty-three.

She said—I asked. I always ask. That’s part of my protocol. Harm reduction. I asked and she said twenty-three and I said cool and we—we had a whole thing. She was funny. She sent memes. We had a bit about—

How old was she.

How old was she.

Nineteen?

That’s—okay. Nineteen is an adult. That’s still—that’s legal. Nineteen is legal.

When did she—

Last Thursday?

I was—last Thursday I was—

I need to stop talking.

I need to—

Was it the—do you know what it was? What she—

Because I tested it. I tested everything. I told you. I have a kit. I test it. I’m not a fucking animal. I would never—

Unless something—

Did something get through? Did I miss—

Why is the folder so thick.

It’s not—that’s not all her! That’s not all one person! Why do you have—

How many.

What do you mean how many.

How many what.

How many are in the folder.

Don’t open it. I don’t want to see.

Tell me how many.

[Recording terminated at request of suspect’s legal counsel, 11:47 PM.]