There I Was in Mister Orpheum's Office

If Music Be the Food of Love Get Stuffed

2020-05-04T23:11:01Z

It seems churlish to complain about it, but one of the many things I'm not catching up on (dishes, hand laundry, work, doing my taxes) is...filmed or zoom theater. It's almost time for Red Bull Theatre's production of The Witch of Edmonton, an obscure Jacobean play, which I will probably skip because I just watched the first half of the Globe Theatre's Two Noble Kinsmen, which has a LOT of Morris dancing.*

I love the Play On! series of zoomed table readings of Shakespeare plays in modern "translations," but....they're supposed to be every Friday! And I still haven't seen the end of King John! And they did Twelfth Night today, which, I'm fairly sure, is NOT Friday.

BTW speaking of the National Theatre, Frankenstein answers the traditional question a la stupidtvquestions. Everyone always wondered why Frankenstein assembled the critter out of so many ill-assorted components instead of just animating a single body. Well, as we know now, he only got half his Putrid Direct order and he didn't like all the substitutions, but there was nothing he could do about it.

*Considering the notably slash speech about how the two imprisoned cousin's are each other's wife, it can be argued that the play has both the things one should try everything except: incest and folk dancing.

B7 Ficlet: As the Worm Turns (Series Finale)

2020-05-03T13:28:36Z

Teensy little Gauda Prime missing scene:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983219

Drive-By: Peace and Quiet--We'll Go Masked

2020-04-28T17:47:26Z

In retrospect, it now seems peculiar that Shakespeare wrote extensive scenes about masked characters in Much Ado and Love's Labours Lost, when Two Gentlemen of Corona was RIGHT THERE.

Drive-By: Springtime for Narnia

2020-04-12T14:40:25Z

Man, instead of always winter and never Christmas, these days it's always Good Friday and never Easter isn't it?

Drive-By: Found in Austen

2020-04-08T19:57:40Z

From Northanger Abbey (Catherine is talking to Henry): "You think me foolish to call instruction a torment, but if you had been as much used as myself to hear poor little children first learning their letters and then learning to spell, if you had ever seen how stupid they can be for a whole morning together, and how tired my poor mother is at the end of it, as I am in the habit of seeing almost every day of my life at home, you would allow that to torment and to instruct might sometimes be used as synonymous words."

From Persuasion: "We live at home, quiet confined and our feelings prey upon us."

Drive-By: For Your 2022 Oscar Consideration

2020-04-05T14:03:19Z

THE SOCIAL DISTANCE: biopic about the billionaire developer of the Facemask app.

Drive-By: Journal of the Plague Year

2020-04-04T00:31:34Z

I guess the real Good Place was the people we stood six feet away from.

Drive-By: Pajama Day in Purgatory

2020-04-02T22:36:23Z

It dawned on me that when the Ghost appears in Gertrude's closet, he is wearing his nightshirt, suggesting that, like so many of us, he hasn't bothered to put on his Outside Clothes. (Actually, although Gertrude's closet is usually staged as her bedroom, so perhaps the Ghost was used to being there en deshabille, I've read that it should be more of a private parlor or indeed home office.)

Which leads me to wonder if the Ghost is violating a Work From Home order. Perhaps not, if he's been haunting Elsinore all along, although the play makes it sound like he's a new phenomenon. He seems to be acting on his own initiative--I don't think Revenge Influencer would have been considered an essential occupation.

LeVar Burton reads stories on Twitter

2020-04-01T22:01:09Z

LeVar Burton will be reading stories as a Twitter livestream--Fridays for adults, starting 4/3 with a Neil Gaiman story, and then kids' stories on Mondays and YA on Wednesdays:

https://allarts.org/2020/04/reading-rainbow-host-levar-burton-to-read-stories-aloud-on-twitter/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=04012020

Drive-By: Honor Among Thebes

2020-04-01T00:45:15Z

Going back even further in classic literature to figure out how we got into this mess--well, obviously there is a long-standing connection between plagues and motherfuckers* but then I realized it isn't a good analogy because who could imagine Trump becoming King because there *was* a riddle he could solve?

*And I can hear you all saying to Trump "you have my brooch-pin!"

Drive-By: Verona Crisis

2020-03-30T13:57:03Z

From the one-act Romeo & Juliet: Juliet insists on proper social distancing from balcony, forcing Romeo to shout, which attracts the attention of the Capulet servants...

It's Toile de Jouy, Bitches!

2020-03-28T20:56:11Z

I saw a recommendation for "competition shows with really nice people" and, since I'm re-watching GBBO AGAIN I thought I'd spread my wings a little and try "Next in Fashion," which is a ten-episode competition (on Netflix) where teams of two fashion designers have a day and a half to design and make something really complicated. It's astonishing what they can do in the time, and they often make beautiful clothes, although the clothes that the designers themselves wear are eye-bleeding hideous.

They feature a lot of designers of color, and many of the guest judges are designers of color, and they mention many times that this competition offers opportunities that the broader fashion industry denied them.

So far most of the contestants do seem really nice. I've watched three episodes, and I suspect that Farai and Kiki got to stay (after being on the bubble the week before) and Julian and Hayley got thrown out is that everybody figured they'd better get Julian out of there before Hayley serges him to death. I mean, if this was an Agatha Christie, there would either be lots of suspects or they'd go all Orient Express with pinking shears. (...drink when Julian says "when I was in the military"...)

However, the second episode was "patterns" (where they got to either pick fabric out of a vast variety of mostly hideous things that look like they'd get dragged on frockflicks.com, or design their own patterns, to be custom-printed instantly) and one of the teams said the black-and-white design they picked was "a Chinese design" when ANY FULE NO it was toile de Jouy, and nobody corrected them.

Directions for making face masks

2020-03-21T14:28:58Z

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/3/20/1929503/-Do-you-have-a-sewing-machine-and-can-use-it-You-can-be-a-hero-and-save-lives?detail=emaildkre

There are a million reasons we're in this mess, but one of them is "disposable everything"--cotton masks can be sanitized and re-used.

And Elliptical Billiard Balls

2020-03-20T20:32:51Z

My version of longing to see the last king strangled in the entrails of the last priest is the hope that there will be a list, maintained forever, of Trump administration officials. And when one of them gets sick or needs an operation, they will be treated exclusively by health care personnel without masks or gloves. In fact I bet lots of them would volunteer to come in when they have a sick day especially for this purpose.

Drive-By: Road of the King

2020-03-16T13:30:21Z

THE STAND BY ME: A bunch of kids take a REALLY long roadtrip to see LOTS of dead bodies.

Drive-By: Beware the Ides of March

2020-03-15T02:38:48Z

BETH: Et tu, Jo?

Drive-By: Workout of the Day

2020-03-12T18:57:45Z

PILATES: aerobic hand-washing

B7/Firefly Ficlet: A Long Way

2020-03-10T00:33:46Z

I've been DW-stalking a new B7 fan, and she said she likes Firefly. This is an AU version of Breakdown--not spoilery, not shippy.

1.
The young doctor was used to waking up out of a deep sleep to cope with an emergency, although usually the emergency involved someone else. This time, he had no clue where he was. He could see his hands are cuffed in front of him with another, thicker bracelet on one of his wrists. And, although he’d never seen one quite like it, his ER shift wasn’t nicknamed the Saturday Night Reasoned Argumentation Club, so he identified the thing pointed at him as a gun.

“I’m sorry,” said the young woman (he started to work her up for eating disorders before tagging her as a kidnapper, not a patient) holding the gun. And he heard, circling around in his head, {{Our need was too great to do this any other way.}}

2.
It would have been 600 hours to Kainessos, 350 to Overon, 200 to Epinal and probably to no avail, so by the time they finished fiddle-fucking all over the galaxy, there was no time left to do it the nice way. So it had to be Cassiona, a highly civilized place but a Federation stronghold.

The natives called it Osiris. Although Blake wasn’t superstitious, he shivered; he did know his mythology.

3.
“Dr. Renor?” said Blake, unfastening the cuffs and repossessing the teleport bracelet.

“No, he’s probably in the supply closet stuffing one of the nurses.” {{It’s not even my shift, was too tired to go home, I just closed my eyes in the On-Call Room for one le-se minute}} “Dr. Simon Tam…not at your service. In fact you can gen houzi bi diou shi . And anyway, my father is a founding member of The St. George Guild.” (He had sometimes wondered about what his father’s enthusiasm for the organization said about Gabriel Tam’s attitude toward his family.)

“What’s that?” Blake said.

“They don’t negotiate with kidnappers. Ever. But they do have some very scary bounty-hunters to find the kidnappers, afterwards. If anything happens to the victims. Or sometimes just for the hell of it.”

“We’re not kidnappers,” Cally said. “We’re rebels. And we need you here to operate on one of our comrades. He has a Limiter implanted in his brain, as a means of mind control, and it’s malfunctioning. You must operate.”

“Psychosurgery? Don’t be ridiculous. That’s propaganda.”

“You can see for yourself,” Blake said. “In fact, you must. And quickly. He hasn’t much time left.”

“Not my problem,” Simon said.

“Ah, but it is,” Blake said. He was terrified of losing two crewmembers at once. One more implacably than the other, but he suspected he’d have more luck arguing with Death than with Avon. “I’ll give you…twenty-five minutes. If, by that time you haven’t gone to the Medical Bay and operated successfully on my friend--his name is Olag Gan, by the way--then I shall destroy your hands.”

“No you won’t,” Simon said, crossing his arms now that he could.

Blake estimated that it had been about six months since he had absorbed a lifetime ration of all the smart-mouth crap he could take from dark-haired good-looking brats.

“Blake!” Cally said repressively. “This helps neither our short-term nor your longer-term problems.”

Cally knelt next to where Simon was picking himself up off the floor and put her hand on his arm. “Imagine that you have captured us, and not the reverse,” she said. “Wouldn’t you save the life of an injured prisoner of war?”

“All right,” he said. “I’m not like you. I don’t kill people! Show me where he is. But if you’re so damn keen on getting an operation, you’ll have to stay and help me.”

4.
Simon shook his head, annoyed. There was just no way to get that implant out, not with the primitive tools available to him.

“Will he not recover?” Cally asked. “His vital signs appear to be stable…”

“No, he’ll be fine,” Simon said. “I cleaned up the inflammation and fixed the mechanical default in the…what did you call it? A Limiter? I just wish I could get it out, but I can’t. I could do a quick herniorraphy on the big guy, though, kind of a bonus.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Cally said.

5.
After Gan woke up and shook Simon’s hand, Cally flew him back to Cassiona in the shuttle.

“I hope you feel a little more positive about our work, now,” Cally said.

“Someone’s got to take responsibility for terraforming the new worlds and keeping at least enough of a lid on things to civilize them,” Simon said. “What would you have, otherwise? Earth-that-Was a burned-out shell, and a lot of subsistence farmers killing themselves over tribal squabbles.”

“Repressive regimes!” Cally said. “Allowing Blue Sun and the other corporations to exploit resources for private profit that should be used for the benefit of all!”

“Kidnapping and shooting people isn’t the answer!”

{{Oh, there is never one Answer, only the Paths.}}

“How do you DO that?” he asked, angrily. “There’s no such thing as…”

{{Telepathy? A fine scientist you are…disregarding your own observations in favor of your prejudices.}}

The shuttle touched down. {{Change how you think, and you can change what you think about.}} “Well, here we are,” she said.

Simon looked at his watch. There were still ten hours until his shift, time to go home and shower and eat something and get some sleep.

Maybe there’d be a letter from River. Her last letter had sounded sort of strange, he hoped that she wouldn’t let some adolescent bullshit or some tiny problem with her Prep school stop her from getting into one of the Elite Acads. Kids always thought everybody was out to get them.

Drive-By: Democratic sorting hat

2020-03-09T03:02:26Z

Elizabeth Warren is just straight-up Hermione, so I can't see her getting elected Minister for Magic even if they *had* elections. And Bernie Sanders is Dumbledore, grouchy old guy who is capable of coming up with some VERY bad ideas. Biden, of course, is the loyal sidekick--Harry already had two terms and is ineligible to run again.

Leaving the question of whether the Death-Eater vote, with the crossover assistance of Emperor Palputin, is enough to re-elect Voldemort.

Drive-By: B7 computer slogans

2020-03-04T14:02:56Z

I've been reading about the history of online business, which leads me to wonder if, in the computer room of Servalan's ~~Circ-Line fluorescent bulb~~ space station there's a placard that says BE EVIL.

Now I'm sure that Avon stuck a post-it note on his flight deck position that says BREAK THINGS AND MOVE FAST.

Good Place Finale

2020-02-05T16:13:27Z

SPOILERS! Spoiler space in case the cut doesn't work

I thought someone could make a great vid including a cut of Chidi 'shopped into Olivier's Hamlet (complete with ridiculous blond crewcut) with the narrator intoning, "This is the story...of a man...who COULD NOT MAKE UP HIS MIND.

And then, in Episode 413 (hey, the same number of episodes as B7! But with slightly more survivors!) Chidi decides Not to Be.

Drive-By: Designation

2020-01-01T17:19:04Z

Perhaps Trump can be mollified, even though he is not Time's Person of the Year. 2020 is the Year of the Rat, so I for one am willing to designate him Rat of the Year. Although Mitch McConnell offers some tough competition.

Drive-By: Gone Women

2019-12-31T23:58:58Z

I haven't seen the latest version of Little Women but, considering (Amazing!) Amy's drive and ambition, I'm sort of wondering about a sequel where she gets fed up with a philandering and generally useless Laurie and disappears, framing him for her murder, although eventually he gets cleared with Jo's ambivalent assistance.

Drive-By: PGP Meta

2019-12-23T20:25:39Z

After a LONG damn time not writing any fanfic, I actually posted a story (although I don't know why it didn't show up on the A03 feed? Everybody's a critic). And then I got another idea, which I'm working on although I didn't manage to post it as a Gauda Prime Day palate cleaner.

And now I'm wondering about why the Clonemasters didn't have any Servalans in inventory, the way The Good Place has a Janet warehouse. I'm still figuring out a story to go around that, but that led me to speculate that the reason the Travii we see are not only non-identical but, let's say, don't look very battle-ready, is that the Federation got them cheap from the factory outlet.

HAHAHAHA: Incivility and Procrastination

2019-12-19T15:05:11Z

I've been using this icon for years, and have been waiting to quote this:

“If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begun upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time.” (Thomas deQuincey)