Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

I'm not sure how to say this.

2016-09-30T19:57:06Z

I'm posting in Kassie's journal to let you all know that she died on Wednesday, September 28th. I wanted to wait to make this post until I could contact all the friends I could think of to share this sad news privately. I apologize if you saw it someplace else first or were not contacted personally. I tried very hard to reach out individually to those who were closest to her.

Kassie was a person who held her cards close to her chest and even though she had been in liver failure for several months, she didn't want anyone to know she was dying. Sometimes I think she didn't even want to know it herself.

Her family and I have remained quiet on the issue for a long time, coming to terms with Kassie's desire to live out the remainder of her days on her own terms. I can let you know that she passed peacefully at home in bed with her dog, Tallulah, and her mother at her side without medical intervention, according to her desires.

There will also be no funeral or services, as Kassie didn't want to be mourned in that way. I think it made it easier for her to choose the path she did by believing we would all go on without her, no dramatic show of grief necessary.

Her family only ask that you keep them in your thoughts. If you're at all inclined toward donations of any kind, they request that you seek out a local animal shelter or your favorite animal charity. As many of you know, there was nothing more important to Kassie than her dogs.

Kassie was an amazing, beautiful, challenging, flawed person. She cared deeply for the world around her, her family, and her friends, and she was one of the most charismatic people I ever met. People were drawn to her, even when it wasn't easy to be around her, and she was an incredibly talented storyteller.

I just wish her own story had been different.

Please take care of yourselves,
Amber/affectingly

ethrosdemon @ 2016-07-22T07:54:00

2016-07-22T12:54:41Z

I guess it's spam time. My sleep schedule is all fucked up for a variety of reasons, so.

My mom and I go to the beach together. We always have since I was maybe born, who knows. It's our downtime to shoot the shit and catch up--we also have early morning talks before she goes to work because we're the only people up and we can say things we'd never mention to anyone else, even the other close people in our lives.

When we go to the beach now, I play Hamilton on my phone. She was completely not into it at first, but now she she says to me "where's Hamilton? Put it on!" and she sings along and dances laying down (my mother is very cute, btw, like I used to be jealous of how pretty she is). I never get into the water, btw due to marine life. I'm a native Floridian and do no mess with that shit.

The other day we were about to watch the Republican shitshow, and I put on "One Last Time" before it came on for everyone to listen to in order to remember we're better than that shit, and at the end of it she said "I think I hate myself because I recognize Lin's voice now."

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes, everyone I know calls him Lin because I do, and yes I am one of those inveterate Hamilton people that annoy the hell out of you. I mean, I bore the crap out of people with commentary on his writing and how the meta on him writing about a brilliant writer is fundamentally insane and so on. They're used to it. When I get invested in something I generally over think it and it's always one of of the three thought processes in my head at any given time.

And also I live in paradise and go to the beach all the time. Goodle image Pensacola Beach and you'll see why.

ethrosdemon @ 2016-01-18T08:35:00

2016-01-18T14:35:36Z

It's easier to post here on my phone than from my iPad, wtf is happening in this place?

So anyway for the ten people who read lj now: my aunt (my second mother) has pseudomonas which is systemic. That means in her blood, urine, and basically everywhere. Here's the catch: she got it in the hospital from a recent admission and is allergic to most antibiotics. Oh, also she has lupus and another inflamitory disease you've never heard of.

My year is starting off great!

This is the third admission in a month. Do the math.

Fuckadoodledoo

ethrosdemon @ 2016-01-13T16:07:00

2016-01-13T22:07:32Z

The last month has been insane.

This someone is from florida saying this.

Amber left yesterday morning at 6 and I was up at 3.

It actually hit freezing. (Don't hate me for finding this horrible, but, shit, here this does not happen a lot.)

Almost in like 10 car accidents due to crazyass florida drivers.

My aunt (second mom) has been for really sick for weeks and had to have surgery today. She was bouncing in and out of the hospital and we just gave up on that since there were three nurses in the house, so we did her IV therapy ourselves and did all the grunt work. At one point Amber said we needed to look into hospice and I told her we aren't ready yet. (This is the real shit going down.)

Every once in a while life spirals, this is one of mine. Things are not great by me. Amber leaving and having to nurse at home sucks on so many levels.

I hope your New Year is great. I really mean that.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-24T08:50:00

2015-12-24T14:50:43Z

It's Christmas and I'm wearing shorts and a polo shirt and flip flops. Oh yeah, and pearls. Why the fuck not?

This is not my holiday, but any excuse.

Merry Christmas.

ROCHAMBEAU

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-21T03:17:00

2015-12-21T09:17:48Z

I never sleep anymore unless I pass out on the couch in the middle of football (this is a weird lifelong thing, American football is like a lullaby to me), so I was googling this insane thing that happened here this week--basically this archeological dig found proof that Pensacola really was the first settlement by the Spanish in North America.

However, I hit the wiki page about here, and I think it was written by a chamber of commerce intern.

I went between enraged and laughing.

Honestly, it is talking points all over the place written by someone too young or clueless to know how ridiculous they sound in places. In other words: bless their heart.

Oh well, please never move here #antichamberofcommercelocal

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-20T20:01:00

2015-12-21T02:01:37Z

So.

I have a fraught relationship with a big part of my family, as one does. There are a bunch of people I haven't spoken to in 20 years. That's not hyperbole. I just gave up or maybe stood up, and said no. This includes my dad.

There is a point here.

Today I got this weird text. From my sister.

The other day someone started honking their horn in a parking lot. I assumed it was the usual crazy Florida driver. I ignored this person.

Apparently, it was my sister.

She texted me to tell me this.

1. Haven't seen her in 15 years, so how did she recognize me. I am not on Instagram or Facebook.

2. How does she have my phone number?

3. I told her we could meet up since she apparently lives right by me and she said thanks but no thanks. THE FUCK, WHY TEXT ME.

#florida

I am not kidding, everyone is a loon here.

I got a bit upset, but you have to respect boundaries. No one ever respected mine, so I get it, but wtf.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-16T22:22:00

2015-12-17T04:22:28Z

OK, home reno, holidays, Florida.

My mom just called me a "pottymouth".

Are you kidding me, you're lucky I'm not in jail! This was a random crisis about a cat getting out. I shit you not. This is after FIVE fights with family members about masked shit that was not what the fight was about at all, but family bullshit that's been going on for decades.

My family are masters of the fight NOT ABOUT THE FIGHT. Everyone is too smart for their own good, and terrific at hitting buttons. I had a screaming match with a cousin about Rand Paul the other day when neither one of us would ever vote for him! The argument was actually about some shit from like 1990.

Fight about car detailing another day.

On and on.

If this some cosmic joke, you idiots? Just because we used up the ice doesn't mean you need to lose your mind and start yelling. Just go buy a bag of ice! Jesus fucking christ. Yes, we are trying to murder you with a lack of ice. Next the grass will be too high in the backyard and you will die.

Almost killed in the CVS parking lot.
Lost my Rx sunglasses while in high dungeon over a fight about going to the kosher butcher !!!!
My car needs breaks.
Fought with someone in Home Depot while attempting to buy paint about Christmas lights (wtf????).
Ate crackers for dinner.
My mother puked in my front yard. (stress related)
My idiot border collie rolled all over a dead racoon and smells like death--this is the dog it took three people at the vet to wash. My aunt sprayed her with Febreeze. So now she smells like death and chemicals.
Have slept about 5 hours in three days.

Merry fucking Christmas.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-12T12:06:00

2015-12-12T18:06:58Z

Ok.

Dumbass Amber made me listen to Hamilton.

Listen, I hate musicals. This isn't really even that. It's like a theme album. Jesus, the writing is fucking amazing. The singing and production are insane. Jesus. The concept is game changing. It made me cry several times. The thing is the writing is so CLEVER. Wow.

This is probably the new Les Mis.

Just listen to it.

I would upload, but I'm not gonna pirate this one.

Do yourself a favorite and listen to this.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-11T08:33:00

2015-12-11T14:33:37Z

So the latest December Hell news:

My aunt decided my dogs needed their nails clipped and their shots done.

Alright, so one of my dogs is a massive hound mix who weighs as much as a person, and my other one is a border collie.

This went as well as expected.

So between my entire bathroom being renoed and family all over the house, my aunt and I (why did she even come?) took the dogs in. We were there on time, but we waited for 45 minutes for our appointment. I told her at that point if they didn't see us within 5, I was bailing and getting a new vet. Suddenly the vet tech SITTING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH US THE WHOLE TIME AS I HAD TO RESTRAIN MY 90 LB DOG WITH MY LEGS AND ARMS asked if I just wanted their nails done.

Now, I have a certain level of tolerance in my old age. It was well exceeded by this point. My border collie was drooling and flipping out by watching the traffic go by out the glass doors (bad seating choice), also the last time we were at the vet's she got a bath and it took me, a tech, and a male vet twice my size to manage it. My hound dog was screaming and whining the whole time and managed to wedge her dumb ass under the bench I was sitting on in an attempt to escape me.

They got their nails done. It was free because I almost lost my goddamned mind at these people. I was polite about it, but I did explain I made an APPOINTMENT which is something one keeps on both ends.

My aunt kept telling me not to complain, that it was rude, and I was like bitch, please, who is rude here?

*

Now let's discuss cussing.

Since I came back to the south, I have been rather abruptly aware that women are not allowed to use foul language again. It's uncouth and a sign of ill breeding.

You must be fucking kidding me.

I was told recently not to say goddamn.

Sidenote: in the American South this word is way worse than fuck. It's the cuss to end all cusses and means you have either lost your mind entirely or want to kill someone.

I use it all the time. I think I started when I left home, I can't remember. It still turns heads here. Goddamn coming out of a woman's mouth is like you just started shooting blood from your eye or something.

I really don't give a goddamn.

I especially find criticism of this from MY family galling since I assume the issue most people have is that they are nominal Christians, and we ARE NOT. What's the problem, skybully gonna strike me? Doubt it. Probably get hit by a redneck in an ostentatious Ram truck beforehand.

It is kind of funny in Crime State to have people turn their heads when I say it, though. I laugh every time. Hey, I'm holding a loaf of bread and I said a bad word of an extraction I think is silly, please glare me down! Now, look over there, that guy probably has a meth lab!

Considering the guy who got out of his truck to yell in the window of my car for me not putting my shopping cart in the designated area which was nonexistent (Publix, what is that about?) I'm starting to think Florida IS as crazy as Australia. (Btw, I told that guy to fuck off, so it's relevant to this portion of the post.)

*
Since I moved home:

Knocked over a brick mailbox with my car.
Been threatened by Spring Breakers who thought they could bring it (hahaha, you loons) in a Circle K.
Almost killed on a daily basis on the highway right by the house (well, not like outside my house).
Had my car rained in approximately 100 times.
Got in a fight in a Wal-Mart.
Misdiagnosed and put in the hospital.
Been to three funerals, one at which my skirt fell off.
Had to pick up my uncle from the beach after he ran 20 miles and couldn't drive his car.
Mom also knocked over the mailbox.
House struck by lightning.
Three babies born in my family (none mine).
Constant allergies since global warming has confused the flora.
Spent most of the year in a bathing suit, sunglasses, and flip flops.

WELCOME TO FLORIDA

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-05T08:28:00

2015-12-05T14:28:24Z

So I might be going to work for my state rep? WTF has my life become? He's Republican! But only because you can't get elected without and R by your name. He's actually a progressive and fucking called ME. Sweet lord. He's committed to overturning the dumbass state medicaid laws and how ACA works in Florida, which matters to me. So why the hell not? This was going to happen, and I like this dude. I will take his seat, though. God, in a heartbeat.

Today I have a funeral, Hanukkah prep, and maybe killing someone on the agenda. This is how southern I am: I have on all black but plan to wear red shoes, pearls (ears and necklace), red lipstick and am wearing a chignon. Listen, sometimes you have to give in.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-12-02T08:56:00

2015-12-02T14:56:46Z

This information is blowing up right now so links are dropping and my tolerance level is about at a 1, so you can google this if you care. Oh I finally got a link: http://www.rawstory.com/2015/12/bombshell-alabama-cops-systematically-framed-blacks-by-planting-drugs-and-guns-for-decades/

I right by Dothan, Alabama. I'm on the Florida side, but if you think there's a difference HAHAHAHAH.

I am so livid I was standing in my driveway in my underwear (which are nice, but that's a tacky thing to do) crying and showing my mother links on my phone. She said "they'll go to jail." HAHAHAHHA Fucking no. Oh, wait, standing in the driveway in underwear is #Florida and it didn't even occur to me.

Ok, I officially hate white people and want some systematic injustice to happen to them. Maybe take away bacon, then frame them for kiddie porn, then deny them lawyers or a justice system?

ethrosdemon @ 2015-11-26T00:19:00

2015-11-26T06:19:01Z

Well welcome to fucking Thanksgiving.

My mom and I just had a massive fight. Believe it or not, I'm pretty reasonable these days and have no interest in pushing buttons. Do what you want, man; if it doesn't harm someone, what do I care?

My mom left all the premade Thanksgiving food on the counter. So I put all of it in the fridge.

Holy shit, apocalypse! Why did I mess with that shit? Why would I keep everyone from getting food poisoning? Why would I presume?

Look this is how the conversation ended:

Mom: You always think you know best.
Me: I usually do.
Mom: You're so full of yourself.
Me: Yeah, the way you taught me to be through observation.

Yeah, it was AWESOME.

I swear to god, if she survives the holiday, it will be a miracle. She told me I have to cook the turkey and everything else because she was acting out. Basically at this point, I want to toss a raw turkey on the table.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-11-12T11:35:00

2015-11-12T17:35:15Z

Man, man, man.

I have become so fickle about the shit I will tolerate.

I hardly get mad anymore. There is just so much I can deal with. I almost died, and that put a whole new spin on my reality. When I was younger, that wouldn't have even bothered me. I would have picked my self off, wiped the blood away and just soldiered on. Now I am way too self-aware for that crap. I'm the safest driver in my whole town I think. I eat right. I mostly behave myself.

This is not my life. But I guess it is now.

When my blood sugar hits the floor I can be mean (I have hypoglycemia).

This is brought to you by the fight I had yesterday. I don't even get heated anymore, seriously. But when I get mad, you better clear out because I lose my mind. You will spend a lot of time being mad at me back but unable to fuck with me, because when I apologize I mean it and that shit is tabled. This was my upbringing--jews, we fight and say horrible shit, but we move on.

Also I'm about to get my period. Perfect storm.

Ugh, why didn't I just get a girlfriend?

ethrosdemon @ 2015-11-11T17:55:00

2015-11-11T23:55:09Z

Today is Remembrance Day, Veterans Day in the States.

I just had my crying jag.

There is a lot I can say about this, but I cry for a reason. People don't respect the long dead. I cry my face off for them. That's my remembrance.

This is a weird quirk, but totally real.

My mom laughed at me.

I remember.

Thank you.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-11-02T17:34:00

2015-11-02T23:34:43Z

Ok I mostly avoid mainstream print media, not because I don't support anyone who needs a paycheck but because I find the content tedious.

I just read the little mini-article in Vanity Fair about Laverne Cox and burst into tears. I mean ugly crying. Now, I did have a bad day, to be fair--but she's from Mobile which I didn't know. That's about 30 miles from where I live. I grew up in the gay community here when people didn't even say the word gay. This wasn't about my own sexuality in the least but rather tons of family stuff (like my aunt starting the first AIDS clinic in Florida and the fact every dude in my genetic family is gay but one).

I had such a breakdown I thought about getting a home pregnancy test because it was rather excessive. That would be a story for another day. (Hahaha, I have bad life choices COVERED for at least 15 people, and either this guy is going to be it for me or make me go to prison for life--stay tuned.)

Naturally I have a lot of things to say about being in love and how I can only write the way I do because I've been there and know of what I speak, but at this particular moment I need to roll the windows up in my car for the daily monsoon--and really my point today is that being accepting and supportive of people whose lives aren't like yours costs you nothing.

Being a bigot makes you stupid and I have no hesitation to tell you so.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-10-29T08:55:00

2015-10-29T13:55:25Z

So hilariously I seem to have a new boyfriend. <--not an euphemism

He appears to be as smart as me, is a writer AND a musician. WTF, sometimes my life either falls apart or together. This week it appears to be together. He's a fucking psychologist. As I mean for a job, not just to annoy me with insights that are too close to my skin. Yeah, of course that happened.

Well if I met my second husband, I shall keep you apprised on that.

This is the update to remind you how ridiculous my life is.

Oh yeah, I also live in Florida. Please don't doubt that this state remains one of the craziest places in the first world, but for now I have healthcare locked down in one space, so there's that.

Also incidentally me and my accidental kid are writing a comic. She's whipsmart and a visual artist aside from going to school for biology. So I'm doing the writing and she's doing the art. It's also already about exactly what you're thinking if you've read my fic--yeah, people's phones die in the middle of a crisis, someone just wants to watch Netflix while the world is ending, and there's a whole digression with a kraken leading to commentary about not signing up for tentacle porn. In case you can't tell, it's primarily about women. Um, and one of the girls is obsessed with a fake Captain America stand-in who appears randomly to comic effect.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-10-25T20:42:00

2015-10-26T01:42:52Z

Hello from one of the crazy corners of the earth again.

So today: nonsense. I had to go get tarps and shit to lock down things in my yard bc of something else I will mention in a moment. While out I was complemented on my shoes (they have a bicycle motif, this is them if you want a pair: http://www.alegriashoeshop.com/Alegria-Paloma-PRO-Tour-p/pal-221.htm -- I have them bc I can wear them to work) which always makes me happy since I'm a bit particular about shoes. Then on my next stop I had a whole weird situation where a kid who was maybe 19 hit on me in a very elaborate and clear way. I express this in those words because I tend to be very bad at knowing when men are into me and not just being creepy. I sent the kid on his way in a polite fashion and shook my head and did my thing. (He invited me to a Halloween party. WTF? Seriously. I could be his mother. Also he was very attractive and if I was a different sort of person and not worried that being back home he could be related to me I could have gone there.)

At any rate, we're getting the edge of what I hear is the biggest hurricane to hit North America. I don't watch the news on tv and just get secondhand crazytalk from family or days' later information from podcasts or maybe BBC radio on Sirius if I turn it on in the car (at no point did I claim not to be that person). So I got the info yesterday that the storm was probably going to be *donald trump* huuuuuuge /donald trump* but I ignored it due to the fact that I'm FROM here, so I know mostly you role the dice and if shit is for real you'll know by idiot yankees acting afool all over the place.

Also, I'm not a bleeding idiot. When I moved home I started stockpiling water and pantry-stable food and got a generator so I didn't lose all the fuckton of shit in my deepfreeze. I worked at putting that shit up, Skybully do not fuck with me!

It started raining yesterday.

Not normal rain. I live in what used to be classified as "subtropical." I could dispute that at this point. We've always had tons of crazy normal rain and junk, but I shit you not that this year it rained at approximately the same time every day for months. Not a small amount of rain. Isn't that a rain forest? The sky was weird the last couple days. It looked like it wanted to kill us. I know thunderheads and storm clouds and blackouts from grey. This was not that. It really bothered me in the back of my mind. Like a bit of a niggle where you're creeped out. Keep in mind I love the rain. I have a biological inclination to sleep when the barometric pressure changes. My body just feels it as it goes and I relax and get tired. I can fall asleep sitting up when a thunderstorm rolls in.

This was not like that. The weather is weird in a place where we don't even talk about the weather but in passing because we just expect it. People are now commenting on how flipping weird the weather is here. Yes, it's an El Nino year, but I was talking to someone else local yesterday and he said "It seems like every year is an El Nino or La Nina." Truer words.

Basically what I'm saying is that climate change is real, and I will happily fart all over deniers.

Now after all that garbage and how I'm going to die in a flood (standing water in my yard and driveway already and it hasn't even hit all the way here), me and the kid carved pumpkins all evening. If I knew how to post pics here anymore, I would bc our porch is fucking AWESOME. Email with your number if you want a text of it.

Incidentally, Whiskeytown is the soundtrack for this bizarre part of my year. I wish I could shoot myself of Ryan, but he keeps being my forever fake boyfriend.

Sometimes people are really inexplicbly fucking blah

2015-10-22T19:53:43Z

So today I was trying to join this randomly stupid meetup group in my hometown due to my inherited kid (I will explain this eventually) being into cosplay and me buying a sewing machine to further her interests but not knowing how to use this make-stuff machine.

This lead me down a rabbithole wherein I found out the email I got from Twitter a while ago about resetting my pw was actually someone attempting to steal my account.

Why?

At the time I ignored it because I've always been a shit twitter user after twitter became a thing. Please forgive me for my "before it was coolness" on this one because to be absolutely honest and without guile I really was an early adopter of twitter when it was marketed as just a way to stay in constant touch with friends due to how much text plans cost at the time. This worked for me for a while with very specific people whom I wanted to hear from and who wanted to hear from me on a constant basis. But. When it started being a marketing tool, I got rapidly bored with it. Then it became a weirdly ubiquitous app that works as a fake sort of way for people to think they're seeing a genuine picture of whomever it is they're following.

No.

That shit is not real.

All this being said, when I was attempting to log into this local group meetup bullshit website for the benefit of someone not me (gimme a break, I have enough shit to do on a fucking daily basis without working things around playing Risk for three days in a row--can I watch HBOgo and fall asleep on the couch ffs?) they wanted a twitter to register. One, ok, the hell, but then twitter kept coughing out bullshit about my pw not being valid. You cocks, I've had the same fucking pw since I signed up. I have two pws on every platform I use bc I give no shits about someone hacking me (this might be hubris, considering) and I only have so much brainspace to dedicate to that sort of really dumb information. I also never write anything down.

This is how I found out calling twitter for a customer service complaint is a no-go, plus they want to give you a TICKET for an email complaint/inquiry. Are you the Pentagon, twitter?

At any rate, I *cough* found a work-around on this hijacking situation and sent the *redacted for very gendered insult* an email to express my displeasure at her attempt to steal my account.

I might futz around there for a bit since I'm going back to writing professionally to compliment my other three jobs, but don't expect much unless you want to see my dog in a shark costume or hear about how much I hate yankees who move here and attempt to tell me how shit Florida is (ok, go back where you came from? we're trying to get on with committing crime casually and eating all the time).

I also think we're going on a family trip to Cuba for my birthday. This should be golden. Holy shit. I'm the only one in my family-ball that doesn't speak Spanish, and the old people now have aphasia, so this could be even better than you're imagining. One of my family randomly switches from French to English to Spanish in one sentence.

Bring on the awesome food and super hot locals!

ethrosdemon @ 2015-10-19T00:12:00

2015-10-19T05:12:47Z

I declared today 0 Fucks Day because of the shit I've been dealing with lately.

This worked out 0%.

I rarely lose my temper anymore, and for people who've known me a long time--yeah, for real. I mostly can't be assed to care about how I'm a fucking housewife (again) who also has a very stressful job, am back in school (again, more on this in a minute), and have to go to dog training in the evenings for my problem dog who weighs almost as much as me (I'm 5'1" and weigh maybe 140 now). But this week has been special.

I actually had an episode today where I had to use I-statements and enforce barriers. I never do this. I normally muddle along and do all the silent work that needs doing so everything runs smoothly. As the kid says MEH, that's who I am.

I (still using I-statements) just had enough today and was a lot like I used to be where I would not deal with any bullshit. Ugh, this is just boring.

At any rate, child drug me off when I cussed a blue streak over people being too lazy to figure out how to make an iPad print shit (um, the internet is on that, just look it up, I am not actually your indentured servant)--and then I was told off like a gradeschool kid for using bad language--are you Steve Rogers? no? shut up--and she (child) made me buy a grown-up onesie Cookie Monster romper. When we came home I wore it around the house the rest of the day with the matching socks she made be also get. It's a little hard to have a screaming fit when people pop out at out periodically yelling COOOOOOOOOOOKIE!!!! There's a hood on the ridiculous teletubby-type outfit. The child kept putting the hood up on me because it has the googly eyes and she photobombed me and instagramed the shit out of it.

I have two things to say about my dumb day (ok three counting that one should have a COOOOOOOOOOOKIE Monster romper): being angry is ok and you should let it out before you have a complete screaming rage and Crowded House is pretty awesome still. These don't sound linked, but for me they are.

Oh, I forgot the school digression: I'm going to school to be a horticulturalist. Yeah, I know, whatever. It's been going to happen. Gardening and growing things is a family lifeset like medicine, so someone was going to do it. The kid is going to vet school, so we have the whole panoply covered now.

Ugh, lj is even dumber than usual

2015-10-18T00:45:54Z

For the people who PMed me, I had no idea because I get no notifications now. Why? Who the fuck knows. I appreciate your concern and support. I had no idea you gave it, but now I do. Thank you.

So in Florida news: never come here or move here. The jokes aren't really jokes.

I will give you an example from my own life--

My cousin's (who is actually my mom's cousin, but I have no idea about removed cousins or 2nd and 3rd whatever cousins--who the fuck cares, tbh?) daughter is about to have a baby. This is the third baby in my family since I moved home, which in and of itself is hilarious since my generation and the one before me had no children or at most two, but be that as it may.

We were at the baby shower last week (which was at a community center rather than at home, wtf?) and my cousin comes in and sits with me, my mom, my aunt, and kiddo and starts in on this story about he melted his windshield.

Um.

Now what needs to be said here is that I'm not an outlier in my family, we have a genetic propensity towards being too smart for our own good. We also have the Southern tendency to just being funny telling stories.

Let me back up.

The girl having the baby is married to a Marine. They were together before he enlisted.

So we have Marines all over our house, my cousin's house, everywhere all the time like ants. This isn't new. If you've read my lj for a bit or know me in Rl you know I come from a military family--dad, granddad, cousins, uncles, pretty much my whole life and the lives of everyone I know has been crawling with servicepeople. No problem.

This is only semi-relevant.

My cousin swans into the baby shower and plops down at the table my direct family was at being drearily bored. He launches into a story about how he melted his windshield.

With acid.

The kids are opening gifts upfront and my cousin is telling us about how he used acid to remove calcium deposits on his windshield. He managed to spray the acid into his mouth.

Then he tells us he looked at the bottle and said "not for cars".

After this he picked his nose and got acid in his nostrils and burnt all his nose hair off.

Meanwhile--one of the Marines is sitting with us and my cousin goes to the bathroom and

Manuel: We came into the driveway and he was on fire.

...

Me: What do you mean?

Manuel: He was ON FIRE!

My mom: How big were the flames?

...

Florida: How big were the flames.

You really have no idea how nuts this place is unless you're from here. You can move here and gawk and shit, but you actually have to be a native to have conversations over lunch about how big of a grave you have to bury a mastiff (today).

ethrosdemon @ 2015-10-02T19:49:00

2015-10-03T00:49:09Z

Ok, I don't normally do this, but I'm going to disable comments on this post. If you want to contact me, I'm pretty easily found.

*

Today I found out I don't have cancer and I'm not dying. I will give the good news first as one is taught.

The reason I have been gone so long this time around is that I had a pretty massive cancer scare earlier this year. I was, in fact, told by a specialist I had cancer. I was also told that my prognosis was very very bleak and that I needed to put my affairs in order.

There is A LOT of unprofessionalism associated with my original diagnosis that was so egregious that even at the time I thought about suing for malpractice just to cover my health costs so my family wouldn't be burdened with them. Let's just say best practices were not even within 50 miles of this fool.

So I got a second opinion. I started over with new diagnostic testing and trusting the person I'm seeing now, and basically since I have a second chance (which is not even real due to the fact I had a very bad diagnosis), I want to encourage anyone who still frequents this joint not to just blindly trust the first doctor you see. Yes, second opinions are a punchline, but holy fuck I went from trying to suss out how to make sure all the people I take care of for when I just fell out and hit the black wall of nothing to laughing my ass off at someone texting on two cellphones at once in a car next to me coming home from my physician's office (Florida).

I thought I was going to die in a very real way and got all the way through the stupid pantheon on stages and that nonsense to acceptance. I still broke down crying in the doctor's office when he told me I was going to be ok, but I really need a new blood pressure medicine.

So enjoy the time you have, because I really plan to.

ETa: as a PSA if you get a blood test and you come up with what are called cancer markers, as to be evaluated for an autoimmune disorder. Guess how I know this.

ethrosdemon @ 2015-10-01T20:33:00

2015-10-02T01:33:23Z

Ok it's been so long since I posted the interface is totally different. AMAZING!

So I can't figure out how the coding is working now due to the fact that someone had the brilliant idea to completely change everything.

*

When I lived in Ottawa, on day someone found Romeo Dallaire https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rom%C3%A9o_Dallaire sleeping under a bench in a park. He was so psychologically traumatized that he just gave up completely.

There is a very good chance you have no idea who this man is. There is also a fairly decent chance that you don't remember/ever knew anything about the Rwandan genocide.

He was on my mind tonight, so I thought I'd break radio silence to recommend you think a bit about what it's like to be willing to throw your entire life away to save the lives of others.

This guy did that.

Some people do profound things in life and we all are just alive for a short time, so people who try really hard should be recognized.

*

Anyway, also watch Party Down.

In medias res

2015-04-06T02:48:26Z

This is the week where I and everyone I'm close to in Rl watch Bible shows and laugh. This year it was that whole "AD" whatever show that we started watching after Seder and laughed for serious over and over. Look, I respect people for their beliefs if they don't impact me--get on with your bad selves! But the reality in this country as it stands is that people who are not the same religion as the majority (aside from my mother, more on that another time...as if I haven't told everyone before how little my my mother understands Christianity previously) are fucked by stupid superstition that parades around as the Truth.

I hate Easter so much more than any other Christian celebration because to me it is the BURN THE JEWS AND MUSLIMS holiday. It really makes me so cynical because Christians don't seem to understand the the eggs and bunnies and pretty much the entire regalia is pagan.

Oddly enough, I love Pope Francis. I'm an atheist so good people who put their backs into being decent of any faith I can behind. It makes me sad religion has to be the impetus, but if that saves lives and makes things easier for the dispossessed and causes others to be kind, ok.

This week I listen to Jesus Christ Superstar on a loop. Pretty much every year since I was 16. Movie soundtrack, not stage--draw your zealot daggers.

I had to peace out for the winter because I felt like shit for everyone after living in Canada so long and watching everyone in the NE suffering while I've been living in a bathing suit for months. My skin's so dark I'm almost mahogany and it's only April. I did my time in the tundra, but never again unless climate change drowns my entire state (possible).

Crazy Florida stories next time (god, where do I start?).

Sorry I was gone, but I live in Sleepytime Land where we just do our own shit. Time moves differently here. I've been on the beach this last couple weeks more than I haven't. Normal for us.

Hi. Also watch Boodline on Netflix. I have a lot to sat about that, but I've had about two hours of sleep since last night was a Blood Moon and I was out on the island eating oysters and messing around until about dawn.

No hate. I had some shitty times, so this is basically my reward for never killing anyone.

ethrosdemon @ 2014-12-02T09:32:00

2014-12-02T15:32:43Z

I don't usually talk about things like this anymore, but no one is on LJ anymore, so whatever.

My neice had to be commited the week before Thanksgiving.

This was, as the kids call it, triggering for me on a lot of levels.

The FIRST time I was commited was over Thanksgiving.

I never talk about this crap, but man if you're struggling, reach out. You have no idea how many people have been through it. My neice is now staying with me and we co-sleep, which at first was to watch her because she was cutting and on the edge, but now we just watch John Oliver and she likes to brush my hair because she cut all hers off in when she had an episode.

Am I a little fragile? Sure, but who isn't sometimes?

If you need something, seriously reach out. You'd be surprised. There is always someone who is willing to help.

Anyway, PSA over.

How about Sleepy Hallow, the fuck.