Gone Away 3/3
Title: Gone Away 3/3
Fandom: ER
Pairing: Abby/Neela
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Luka's in Croatia. What does this mean for our Abby?
Abby stared across at Neela, who seemed to be fluctuating between surprise and horror.
"Is that all you can say?" she asked, voice husky.
"I..."
"Oh, Neela, come on."
Neela shifted on the couch, rising up as tall as she could sitting.
"Have you been drinking?" she asked, tone as even as she could make it.
Something shifted inside the apartment and Abby knew intrinsically that she was losing Neela, that the other woman was slipping away from her by increasing degrees.
But she hadn't pulled away.
Well, she had, but there was a part of Neela--and Abby had felt it--that had stayed with her, that had, maybe, even kissed her back.
But that didn't matter.
Not at that moment, at least.
Because Neela knew and Neela was pissed and there it was, right in front of Abby, that she'd messed up another moment and more, potentially ruined something sacred.
"Have you?" Neela demanded.
"That's not the point," said Abby.
"I beg to differ."
Abby paused to put her head in her hands. Everything had fallen out of her reach and there she was, sitting in an apartment that was no longer hers, a place she'd been happy, content, not feeling as though she was jumping out of her skin every moment of every day.
"Fuck," she said, "fuck, fuck."
The words felt good on her tongue.
"And what if I have?" she asked, words trickling through her fingers.
"Then I'd say you need to get help," came the reply.
Abby lifted her head.
"And what if I asked you something, Neela?"
"Ask me what?"
"Asked you how you feel about... This?"
Neela furrowed her brow, putting a hand to her temple, a hand dwarfed by the oversized cuffs of her pajamas.
"About what?" she asked wearily.
"About what just happened."
For just a moment, Abby thought she saw fear cross the other woman's face, a type of fear she knew well.
"Truth, Neela," she demanded softly.
"I think you need to stop drinking."
"Christ."
"I do."
"Answer my question."
"There are places that can help you, places you can go to--"
"Answer it, for the love of fucking--"
"I don't know," Neela interrupted; she sounded on the verge of confused tears and Abby wished instantly she could take it back.
"I... I respect you, Abby," she continued, in a small voice. "I... I care about you, I admire you... I..."
Abby inched closer, moved, tormented, almost. Her lips met Neela's in a swift, almost sad way, before something rushed between them and their mouths closed over each others in increasing urgency.
"Abby..."
"What?" Abby said breathlessly.
"Nothing."
"Kiss me," Abby whispered.
"I can't."
"Then I'll kiss you," she mumbled, fumbling her way down the slope of Neela's neck, feeling her stiffen and gasp.
"Abby..."
"Shhh."
"You need help."
"I know."
"Will you get it it?"
Abby answered by pulling Neela into her, wrapping strong arms around her waist.
"I'd rather have you," she said.
Neela didn't move.
"Luka..."
Luka.
The thought of him was like a stone, heavy, unmoving.
"He's not coming back," she sighed into Neela's shoulder.
"What? How do you know?"
"I just know."
Abby felt Neela exhale, body deflating. Flannel rubbed against her bare arms, Neela's smell tantalizingly close to her. She breathed it in, felt the drunkenness exiting her body almost as quickly as it had come.
"Kiss me," she said.
FIN
Fandom: ER
Pairing: Abby/Neela
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Luka's in Croatia. What does this mean for our Abby?
Abby stared across at Neela, who seemed to be fluctuating between surprise and horror.
"Is that all you can say?" she asked, voice husky.
"I..."
"Oh, Neela, come on."
Neela shifted on the couch, rising up as tall as she could sitting.
"Have you been drinking?" she asked, tone as even as she could make it.
Something shifted inside the apartment and Abby knew intrinsically that she was losing Neela, that the other woman was slipping away from her by increasing degrees.
But she hadn't pulled away.
Well, she had, but there was a part of Neela--and Abby had felt it--that had stayed with her, that had, maybe, even kissed her back.
But that didn't matter.
Not at that moment, at least.
Because Neela knew and Neela was pissed and there it was, right in front of Abby, that she'd messed up another moment and more, potentially ruined something sacred.
"Have you?" Neela demanded.
"That's not the point," said Abby.
"I beg to differ."
Abby paused to put her head in her hands. Everything had fallen out of her reach and there she was, sitting in an apartment that was no longer hers, a place she'd been happy, content, not feeling as though she was jumping out of her skin every moment of every day.
"Fuck," she said, "fuck, fuck."
The words felt good on her tongue.
"And what if I have?" she asked, words trickling through her fingers.
"Then I'd say you need to get help," came the reply.
Abby lifted her head.
"And what if I asked you something, Neela?"
"Ask me what?"
"Asked you how you feel about... This?"
Neela furrowed her brow, putting a hand to her temple, a hand dwarfed by the oversized cuffs of her pajamas.
"About what?" she asked wearily.
"About what just happened."
For just a moment, Abby thought she saw fear cross the other woman's face, a type of fear she knew well.
"Truth, Neela," she demanded softly.
"I think you need to stop drinking."
"Christ."
"I do."
"Answer my question."
"There are places that can help you, places you can go to--"
"Answer it, for the love of fucking--"
"I don't know," Neela interrupted; she sounded on the verge of confused tears and Abby wished instantly she could take it back.
"I... I respect you, Abby," she continued, in a small voice. "I... I care about you, I admire you... I..."
Abby inched closer, moved, tormented, almost. Her lips met Neela's in a swift, almost sad way, before something rushed between them and their mouths closed over each others in increasing urgency.
"Abby..."
"What?" Abby said breathlessly.
"Nothing."
"Kiss me," Abby whispered.
"I can't."
"Then I'll kiss you," she mumbled, fumbling her way down the slope of Neela's neck, feeling her stiffen and gasp.
"Abby..."
"Shhh."
"You need help."
"I know."
"Will you get it it?"
Abby answered by pulling Neela into her, wrapping strong arms around her waist.
"I'd rather have you," she said.
Neela didn't move.
"Luka..."
Luka.
The thought of him was like a stone, heavy, unmoving.
"He's not coming back," she sighed into Neela's shoulder.
"What? How do you know?"
"I just know."
Abby felt Neela exhale, body deflating. Flannel rubbed against her bare arms, Neela's smell tantalizingly close to her. She breathed it in, felt the drunkenness exiting her body almost as quickly as it had come.
"Kiss me," she said.
FIN