Unfiltered: Jen, Helena, and Csilla on Self-Love in Midlife
Meet three of the women sharing their self-love stories this summer.
This Summer of Self-Love started very randomly from one comment on a masterclass. Read the full story here.
After that, I knew this summer was going to be all about exploring women’s complicated relationships with self-love and self-criticism. No one has it all figured out, and each of them is on a path to a deeper, more loving relationship with themselves.
Each woman I interviewed for this series shares an authentic version of herself, not just the aspirational one we’ve been sold for years. They share what self-love actually looks like on the hard days, what Human Design changed for them, and what they’re still working on.
Over the next few weeks, I’m highlighting a few of them at a time so you can get to know them better. Their deeper stories will be woven through future articles this summer.
Everyone has their own unique Human Design that makes their story unique. What ties so many of us together is that loving yourself is a journey. We’re on different continents and still the threads connect us.
This article is part 2, profiling three women who said yes.
Jen Ohrman, who writes Next Act Navigator™
Helena Marchetti, who writes Her Inner Compass
Csilla Gergely, who writes Feminine Energy for Midlife Women
Jen Ohrman
1. Tell us a little about yourself and where you are in life right now.
I’m 61 years young. Empty nest of 3 amazing humans doing cool things! Married 33 years. Former physical therapist turned entrepreneur over many decades. Been coaching in my own business for a few years – currently doing 1:1 but wanting to get back to group coaching and more small group workshops.
I had been doing a lot of that several years ago but had a health issue that really flipped me out and sent me into some dark times. I’m finally feeling like I’m out of that and I’m learning new things about business building that I have struggled with for years – super excited about that and getting my confident feet back underneath me.
I’ve been fortunate to have very loyal 1:1 clients, who I have been coaching for 2, 3 or 4 years. I love them and the work we do together AND it’s time for me to stop staying in my comfy zone and shine a bit brighter by connecting and collaborating with new souls. Other People’s Audience (OPA) is the WAY! I love collaborating and supporting fellow women on their journeys. so this is a beautiful opportunity and I am grateful to you for creating it.
2. What’s one thing about your Human Design that changed how you see yourself?
My 3/5 Manifesting Generator has validated that I am a trial and error girl. I MUST fall down and get up, learn & to lead authentically…. I do like to move fast when I love what I’m doing. And I CRASH when I don’t. It’s soooo validated my STRUGGLE with marketing! I’ve done it ALL and most never resonated!
I literally have been building my business against my design. Instead of trying to force the square peg in the round hole, I now have freedom to live my design and build my business trusting in my natural way – no forced structure – allowing my methods to organize through me…and I TRUST myself more than ever because of these learnings.
3. What does self-love actually look like in your daily life, not the aspirational version, but what you actually do?
Self-love for me these days: Speaking up for myself. Honoring and expressing my feelings that come up. I have experienced a lot of emotions coming up about myself by being part of a business coaching program (not the best ones either lol- but it’s ALL good and it’s all part of the process). It means clear NO’s. It means limiting my circle of people intentionally. It means putting ME on the top of my To Do/To Be/To Allow List daily. It’s means movement and healthy eating (plus some wine when I want lol!) It means having more discipline to finish things that are important to me.
4. What are you still working on when it comes to loving yourself?
Still working on all of it. I have grown a lot over the years AND my little gremlin still comes out to play sometimes. But she doesn’t scare me anymore. I get her. I just pay attention to what she’s trying to tell me and we try and unpack it. I’ve been experiencing a lot of self-doubt and comparison since joining the business coaching program last fall. That’s been interesting for me. So, calming my inner voice is a daily experience.
As spiritual beings in human bodies, I believe it’s a lifetime daily practice to recalibrate our mindset, our frequencies, our thoughts and energy. Fortunately my tool box is brimming over!! That health experience really threw me off my game a couple years ago and my anxiety ratcheted up – but I’ve got a handle on that now and the whole menopause thing is very real and has changed my self care as well. It’s a big deal when our estrogen gets depleted but that’s possibly an entire other subject…but it’s interwoven with all of it!
Jen’s Substack Publication: Next Act Navigator™
Helena Marchetti
1. Tell us a little about yourself and where you are in life right now.
I’m a 42-year-old mother of two middle-schoolers. I have a kind and supportive husband who deserves a medal for handling my perimenopausal moods. I’m a pharmacist, fiction author, and budding medical writer. I just left my job of sixteen years after a nervous breakdown that brought me to my knees.
I found Julie Ciardi by chance (middle of the night insomnia-induced Substack scrolling), and it felt like divine timing. I have dreams and goals that make me feel alive. I have no idea how I will make things work, but I’ve never felt this hopeful in my life. After being frozen for years, my creative brain is finally thawing.
2. What’s one thing about your Human Design that changed how you see yourself?
Learning that I’m not meant to perform, chase, or “hustle-culture” my way through life was incredibly validating. It was a relief to learn I’m not lazy or unambitious for not having the energy for constant visibility. On the flip side, Human Design also made me aware of how easily I lean into my shadow frequencies. I’m very content being a hermit, but I’ve allowed my fear of visibility and comfort in solitude to hold me back from opportunities.
3. What does self-love actually look like in your daily life, not the aspirational version, but what you actually do?
Oof. Self-love is new for me. I’m getting better at allowing myself to be unproductive. I used to get restless and feel guilty for not accomplishing everything. So much so, I never truly felt relaxed. I’m giving myself permission to skip tasks on my never-ending to-do list. Not everything is as urgent as my brain likes to make it seem.
4. What are you still working on when it comes to loving yourself?
I’m working on several things. For one, I’m allowing my intuition more control. Instead of always listening to my brain’s logic, I’m going with my gut — if it’s not a “Hell yes!” it’s a “No.”
I’m trying to tell my inner critic to STFU.
I’m also battling perfectionism. I haven’t posted on Substack yet. Why? Because I keep waiting to feel ready. (I’m scared of being visible.)
Helena’s Substack Publication: Her Inner Compass
Csilla Gergely
1. Tell us a little about yourself and where you are in life right now.
I’m 47, mother of 2 daughters, they are 17 and 19. I´m from Hungary and I live in Spain, my husband is Spanish.
I worked in corporate finance for 20 years, finally burnt out, had an opportunity and left. It was a very masculine, goal and productivity oriented environment.
Since leaving 3 and a half years ago I have reconnected to my feminine energy, slowed down, through masterminds, courses and mentorship. I learned about different feminine archetypes, the Divine Feminine, and loved it all.
Reconnecting to my feminine has changed my life. At 46 I started pole dancing, i sing in the choir of my village and I started taking huge steps on my soul path, which is to help other women with my life experiences to love themselves, their body, their age, and feel like a woman again.
I write on Substack, do videos, Substack Lives, sharing what is important to me, being vulnerable, true and being me. I’m creating a business led by my soul, my joy, bringing women together and celebrating them.
2. What’s one thing about your Human Design that changed how you see yourself?
I don’t know much about Human Design. I know I’m a Manifesting Generator, but not more details.
I am very spontaneous. I start many things and I don’t finish them. Not finishing them I always thought was a bad thing, but there are many things I do finish. I have so many interests and so many ideas, that I can’t implement them all.
3. What does self-love actually look like in your daily life, not the aspirational version, but what you actually do?
Every day I dedicate time to do things I love. I pole dance and sing in the local choir. I rest, I do siesta (nap in Spain). I go slow. I don’t rush anymore.
I wear colorful dresses. I am not skinny, I have an Aphrodite body type and I dare to show my curves. I smile at myself when I look in the mirror and I find myself more and more beautiful every day.
4. What are you still working on when it comes to loving yourself?
Sometimes I feel that I’m behind on my soul path, that I should already have a successful coaching business with all the work and content that I have done.
But I know I’m on the right path, and I’m walking, taking big steps every day, expressing myself, sharing my voice, being an inspiration for the women who need it and to my daughters, for whom I’m the role model as a woman.
Csilla’s Substack Publication: Feminine Energy for Midlife Women
What’s Coming This Summer
This entire summer we’re exploring self-love from many different angles through women’s real experiences. Because our inner voice is just as important as our outer voice. And when we feel good inside, it always shows up in how we show up in so many different ways.
Some of what’s coming: shame and self-love, the shoulds and self-love, where self-love shows up in the Human Design chart, and learning to love yourself using your own design. I’ll also be sharing my own experiences along the way. This summer is personal for me too.
The second half of my life is about learning to love myself and helping others do the same. Not just embodying it, but helping other women see how they can love themselves too. And I’ve started to see it play out in real life. In starting to use Human Design as a way to love ourselves rather than as another reason to fix ourselves.
Look for more conversations with these women and future profiles throughout the summer. These conversations are just getting started. I’m glad you’re here for them.
~ Erica
Subscribe to Unfolding: Letters from the Middle of Becoming with Erica Voell
For women in midlife who are want to untangle from the life patterns of shape-shifting and keeping everyone else happy, claim how they are uniquely designed to make decisions, and understand their unique strengths.
Unfiltered: Erika, Jenn, and Therese on Self-Love in Midlife
Meet three of the women sharing their self-love stories this summer. Erika Sardinha, Jenn Gemma White, and Therese Holden open up about what their Human Design revealed, what self-love actually looks like on an ordinary day, and what they’re still working through.
Learn more about the origins of the Summer of Self-Love
The Summer of Self-Love 🥰
A few weeks ago, I was watching a client panel that was part of a masterclass my mentor was hosting. One of the women shared how Human Design helped her learn to love herself.
The Story Behind the Summer of Self-Love
In my last article and podcast episode, I talked about what inspired the Summer of Self-Love. One comment from a woman named Michele on a client panel, and how it sparked this whole thing.
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