Coaching Support
Building a Community of Coaches
I was teaching at a coaching course this weekend and it was a great group of coaches. They were from different backgrounds with different experiences, but all were there to learn and to help others learn. This is what a coaching community should look like — we are there to learn and we are there to teach. We are there to grow and when we get to the arena, we compete with everything that we have. But as coaches, we have to be create these communities.
Why? Coaching is enriching and soul destroying at the same time. It requires a ridiculous amount of self-confidence, yet consistently so many coaches are riddled with self-doubt. Then there are expectations…the realistic vs the dreams. These juxtapositions mixed with the fact that you are guiding the growth of a team and a group of athletes…all of whom have their own idiosyncrasies and expectations. If we believe we can walk alone and carry this weight, we are delusional. Either the stress will seep into other areas of our lives or it will come out in explosions.
A solution — a peer support network. A community of people that are going through similar struggles. Why similar struggles? Well, misery enjoys company :-) But knowing you are not the only one going through gives some confidence that you can work it out. Being able to problem solve by finding commonalities creates movements for growth and an opportunity to be curious. These are things that most coaches find enriching, invigorating and inspiring.
So how do we make it happen? There are a few ways, but it takes prioritizing this as part of your coaching week.
My friend, Snacks, created a Coaches Coffee Club — we would jump on a call once a week for an hour or two — ask a question and popcorn around. Sometimes the questions were a real world problem of one of the group and others it was spurred by something out in the world. Plus a weekly there is a check-in on our mental state of what’s app — the beauty of this was if there was someone who needed a friend, they would come looking for you.
Set up a reminder on your phone to check in with a coach once a week, once a month or once a quarter. By setting them up in your recurring tasks, you promppt yourself to make a phone call or a FaceTime or a text message. It’s a chance to check in — maybe it’s on personal stuff, maybe it’s coaching or maybe it’s just a meme.
Walk and talks — spend some time with another local coach. The ability to spend 30+ minutes walking with another person is a cool way to hang out. The time commitment alongside the commitment to another person develops a rhythm to the relationship. Yes, there might be other check-ins along the way, but you will always end up looking forward to your walks. Plus it kills two birds with one stone and gets some steps in while you chat.
Work with a coach — this is something that I wish had. I always felt a burden trying to grab time with a mentor, but I’ve used a coach to help me stay focused on connected. Technically, this isn’t a peer…but it’s also not a mentor. It’s someone that you build a relationship with that is there to help you, there focus is on you as a coach and how you make an impact by growing your influence. Whether it’s 1:1 or in a small group of similarly placed peers. The main purpose is that it isn’t a formal structure, it meets your needs as they ebb and flow throughout the course of the year.
The reason for the consistent cadence is that it becomes part of the weekly, monthly or quarterly routines. It’s not unusual, in fact it’s the opposite — it’s ordinary. Which means that when things get tough, you aren’t asking a favor…you’re just keeping a regular practice with people who care about you and what you do. As much as you care for them and their ambitions.
One of these small steps starts to connection and community. It takes time and it takes effort, but I think life is always better when you do it with friends and coaching is definitely better when you do it with and against friends. So take the time to build a coaching community. If you want to join one, let me know in the comments and we can brainstorm a way to do it virtually or here in Nashville. If you want to work me as your coach, send me a message or book a time to have a chat at this link.