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[11 Feb 2006|02:09pm] |
Last night was the school'd v-day dance. It wasn't to bad, but I was kinda bored half the time. A lot of people I don't talk to that much came over tot alk to me. Probably just everyone in a good mood. I ended up almost losing my purse. I forgot I put it in car glove box. I went out bowling afterwards with like 20 people. I had a really good time. Besides I didn't get to beat my boyfriend in bowling. I was behind in both games by one point.
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[15 Jan 2006|12:58am] |
I haven't be home much lately. I have been working and like going out with Rob. I should be finshing my homework. I feel like being lazy. Today Troy's gf car got hit today. I just got a bit scared. This guy backed the truck back over the hood of her car and messed it up.
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[03 Jan 2006|09:42pm] |
I feel like crap. My mom won't get me birth control, I've been having bad crapm until Monday. I had a werid period this time. I hope nothing is wrong with me.
I got off work early today. I almost passed out. My stomach hurts really bad and I puked. I just wanna sleep. I finally decided to get my shit together. I finally told brett he has to choose if he wants to try to be with me.
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[23 Dec 2005|11:52am] |
I figured I had nothing better to do while I waited to for my mom to get done. I have to get my check and do some Christmas shopping. I'm going to bake some cookies. I have been in a cookie mood for a while. My mom found some cheap ones at save a lot. I wanna get some candy to. I just want so many different sweet foods. I hope everyone has a good Christmas.
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[21 Dec 2005|06:22pm] |
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I didn't sleep much last night. I am sick once again. I got to see Nip Tuck season final. I missed the last ten mintues though. I just laid around sleeping the whole entire day.
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[19 Dec 2005|05:41pm] |
I have been so busy this week. I went in the weekend to work from 6 am to 11. I ened up trying to sleep both days after. Mike was supposed to come see me on Saturday. His mom keeps on buging me and being rude. She thinks that is rude I can't go to church with her on sunday cause I work. She also thinks it's illegal for me to work that early. Know she is calling my house making my mom mad. She keeps on asking if i can see mike. I have to do a lot this week like work, shop, clean, and other stuff.
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[09 Dec 2005|12:04pm] |
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This is the real me, what you see is what you get. I have nothing to hide at all. No one should ever have anyting to hide at all. This is the really naked truth about everything you could ever wanna now. Deep down insdie the real shit no one ever wants the world to see. Through the great and bad times nothing expect just little old plan me. Strrugle and pain is real down to evey last word I say. I say this life is not made for everyone. You have to live it to the fullest. Don't waste your time on not living it how should be. So what even if your life is short or long don't sit there go out and live on the edge.
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[07 Dec 2005|10:11pm] |
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I'm failing bio. I'm not doing to good so I have been trying to study math and biology. I don't wanna fail. I have not been in such a good mood. I may have a job soon to.
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[23 Nov 2005|06:11pm] |
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I didn't do anything. I got a donut in french for winning bingo. Rest of the day I just did nothing. I am going out for Black Friday. Oh boy this is going to be fun. I found 2 shirts I want, and I need to get mike and bryce a gift.
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[18 Nov 2005|06:35pm] |
Today I went to voteck. A bunch of other people went to. So I went the marketing store. I meet this hot guy who just sat there talking to me. He took me in a freezer to look at food. So we were leaving on way out I just had to do something. I was walking down the steps eating a piece of candy. I thought I was going out the door. I ran into this window. I wasn't pay attention. I almost broke the window. Everyone turns around and starts laughing at me. Everyone kept on telling it was boring until I did that or asking if I was okay.
After that instead of going to class I went the libary to just play games. I didn't wanna go back to class. That was pretty much my day expect eating candy.
I just am waiting for mike to get here.
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[17 Nov 2005|03:36pm] |
I just feel like crap. Yesterday in math I just wanted to cry. So much hit me at one moment. I'm just siting here like great what next is coming at me. I'm glade I won't be in class for 3 periods tommorrow. I just wanna go back to Maryland for a bit. My life is just not for me anymore.
Sleepless at sea
awake I lay
tossing and turning
images of you in my head
a cold sleepless night
listening to the ocean sounds
trying to get some sleep
no one to hold me
just in a empty cold bed
the room just dark
only star shine in the sky
as i lay sleepness
I need a new lj name to. I don't feel like replying to comments. Stupid me emailed jason like two weeks ago my lj name. I feel like i'm just writng people off. I don't wanna at all either. I do have more friends this year. Not what I want deep down inside. I made up my mind i'm not celberating thanks giving. I'm going to get my pie and ham than i'm going to sleep all day.
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[12 Nov 2005|02:16pm] |
I can't stand being here in altoona anymore. It's just killing me. I dunno how much more I can take. I just wanna leave altoona. Best thing for me to do. I wish I had money, and would of got that job. I feel so weak, and lost. It's no right that someone who would just come home and tell you they brung some other chick home. Jason knew that I was hurting and didn't wanna be hurt again. Yet he hurts me so bad. He said if i needed anything tell him. When I tried to tell him I wanted to talk well I said that to girl he brung home she just won't tell him. She just throw shit in my face. I'm sick of doing this shit over every day. I hope I can go back to Maryland. I really do wanna be there with Katie.
Heyyouxthere (2:24:40 PM): you know you can sit there and throw stuff in my face.
Heyyouxthere (2:24:48 PM): On other hand I'd never do that to cause I'm not rude like that.
Crazydman69 (2:25:06 PM): What are you talking about?
Heyyouxthere (2:25:15 PM): thats funny you sit there and thow stuff in my face
Heyyouxthere (2:25:23 PM): Like oh were geting married, or oh he's fixing our house
Crazydman69 (2:25:38 PM): What stuff did I throw in your face?
Heyyouxthere (2:25:39 PM): i f i wanted to be rude i could sit there and call you stuff like oh your a whore, but no i won't cause that is not nice.
Heyyouxthere (2:26:14 PM): you can tell jason thanks im leaving pa again
Crazydman69 (2:26:16 PM): This is Jason
Crazydman69 (2:26:19 PM): now
Heyyouxthere (2:26:24 PM): oh sorry
Heyyouxthere (2:26:26 PM): Nvm about that.
Heyyouxthere (2:26:28 PM): I really wanna talk to you.
Heyyouxthere (2:26:39 PM): i wanna talk to you without fighting to.
Crazydman69 (2:26:59 PM): What do you want to talk to me about?
Heyyouxthere (2:27:23 PM): a lot of things.
Heyyouxthere (2:27:28 PM): is there anything u wann atalk about?
Crazydman69 (2:28:16 PM): I'm really busy I don't have the time to sit behind this computer and talk about things atleast not now sorry I'm real busy
Heyyouxthere (2:28:23 PM): fine just go
Heyyouxthere (2:28:28 PM): just be like brett ome.
Heyyouxthere (2:28:36 PM): to me
Crazydman69 (2:28:47 PM): What can't you understand I got things to do
Heyyouxthere (2:29:01 PM): i wanna talk to you you asked if i needed anyting to tell you. I wanna talk.
Heyyouxthere (2:29:14 PM): do you know how bad hurts me? I can't even sleep or eat. I just wanna talk.
Crazydman69 (2:29:17 PM): I gotta go going to go look at stuff for the house
Crazydman69 (2:29:20 PM): We will tonight
Heyyouxthere (2:29:22 PM): no
Heyyouxthere (2:29:26 PM): thanks a lot for just leaving me
Crazydman69 (2:29:31 PM): I just cant riught now
Heyyouxthere (2:29:46 PM): i fucking wanted to talk cause you told me if i needed anything. I was hoping you would call me or something.
Heyyouxthere (2:29:58 PM): Seems to me your busy leting your whatever make fun of me and shit.
Heyyouxthere (2:30:16 PM): whatever you wanna call her.
Crazydman69 (2:30:53 PM): Listen psycho, my man loves me and were gonna get married wheter you like it or not
Crazydman69 (2:31:09 PM): And yes bitch im still here
Crazydman69 (2:31:15 PM): i could call you alot worse
Heyyouxthere (2:31:17 PM): get jason i wanna talk to him.
Heyyouxthere (2:31:21 PM): If you won't i will call him.
Crazydman69 (2:31:49 PM): go ahead and call ill answer the phone
Crazydman69 (2:31:55 PM): duh
Crazydman69 (2:32:03 PM): r u stupid or something
Heyyouxthere (2:32:12 PM): ihope jason sees your mean.
Heyyouxthere (2:32:17 PM): honsetly you are mean.
Crazydman69 (2:32:41 PM): you need the phone number to call jackass
Heyyouxthere (2:32:47 PM): i have it.
Heyyouxthere (2:32:51 PM): he gave me the number to his parents.
Crazydman69 (2:33:03 PM): what is it then
Heyyouxthere (2:33:14 PM): get jason
Heyyouxthere (2:33:17 PM): i fucking want him.
Crazydman69 (2:33:26 PM): nope you cant have him
Crazydman69 (2:33:36 PM): get another security blanket
Heyyouxthere (2:33:37 PM): go fucking get him i wanna talk to him.
Crazydman69 (2:33:49 PM): your wasting your time
Crazydman69 (2:34:03 PM): grow some balls girl
Heyyouxthere (2:34:04 PM): i will drive up if i have to.
Crazydman69 (2:34:07 PM): how old r u
Crazydman69 (2:34:14 PM): so whats the address
Heyyouxthere (2:34:18 PM): 16
Heyyouxthere (2:34:21 PM): I got a permit and a car.
Heyyouxthere (2:34:24 PM): I can drive up.
Crazydman69 (2:34:45 PM): besides i'll have something for you if you come here
Crazydman69 (2:34:55 PM): your 16, grow the fuck up
Heyyouxthere (2:35:06 PM): i will talk to him if i wanna you can't stop me
Heyyouxthere (2:35:47 PM): i will talk to him if i want to you can't stop me and jason said he will help me
Crazydman69 (2:36:00 PM): he cant help you
Heyyouxthere (2:36:26 PM): your a bitch
Heyyouxthere (2:36:28 PM): i hope he dumps you.
Crazydman69 (2:36:42 PM): i know, its capital BITCH to you
Crazydman69 (2:36:52 PM): he wont because i treat him good
Crazydman69 (2:38:10 PM): your a whorebag thats the bottom line
Crazydman69 (2:38:25 PM): ill call them and tell them that your harassing him
Heyyouxthere (2:38:36 PM): your doing it.
Crazydman69 (2:38:44 PM): im undoing it
Heyyouxthere (2:38:50 PM): your started with calling me names. I said i wanted to talk to him.
Crazydman69 (2:39:10 PM): he dont want to talk to you
Crazydman69 (2:39:15 PM): or i would let him
Heyyouxthere (2:39:45 PM): no that is bs other night he said if i need anything ask him.
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[08 Nov 2005|02:10pm] |
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Great nothing seems to be working today. I got sent home sick. I failed my french test really bad. I ended up not geting anything in math. I think I may have a ear infection. Some reason all this stuff always happens to me. I hope I did good on my bio test. My info is a wreck. I tried to fix it, but the code didn't work at all.
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[07 Nov 2005|07:23pm] |
Wow Jason is back today. I am a bit excited and nervous to. There is a millon questions and things I wanna say to him. I just can't belive it after all this time he is home. I didn't get to talk to him. I told him I love him, but he didn't say anything back. So I'm hoping he still loves me to. I just wannna talk t ohim so bad. That is what i wished for christmas this year.
Just my luck he forget me like I am nothing. He can't even talk to me he just signs off on me. No wonder I am stupid all the time. I can't believe this I thought I found something good. I am just so stupid anymore. I just wanna go back to the old me. I just want my pills back and drugs. I just wanna feel okay again even though I will be fucked up beyond belife.
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[28 Oct 2005|03:35pm] |
I finally got to fix my info. I messed it all up the other night. It's half done. I have no school monday either. I just wanna sleep in. I am geting my permit next week. I hope i don't fail my test. I need to just sleep and chill out.
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[25 Oct 2005|08:02pm] |
I won my volleyball game that is all i pretty much have to say. My heart just can't stop thinking of this one im. It keeps on sticking in my head.
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[15 Oct 2005|07:14pm] |
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So this week is my birthday. I am going to have a huge bio test, and a few others in school. I won't be updating until next week sometime. I'm having my party next sunday. I would update saturday, but bad part is day before mine my friend is throwing a halloween party. So I'm going to be geting stuff ready for my party, and going out.
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[13 Oct 2005|08:30pm] |
I ended up on Friday night just hanging out with a few friends at my house. That is the night i started to take pils. I started to talk to phil on the phone. So in middle of convo they started to yell at me cause i was to sick to go on a walk with them. When they get back they had pizza. They asked if they could eat my brownies. Once again they got mad at me cause I said no cause they were not being that nice to me. I come up staris to check my email before I go to sleep. How nice my sn got hacked into. I find that out as soon I get on. My friend's sister gave out my sn to a millo
I ended up on Friday night just hanging out with a few friends at my house. That is the night i started to take pils. I started to talk to phil on the phone. So in middle of convo they started to yell at me cause i was to sick to go on a walk with them. When they get back they had pizza. They asked if they could eat my brownies. Once again they got mad at me cause I said no cause they were not being that nice to me. I come up staris to check my email before I go to sleep. How nice my sn got hacked into. I find that out as soon I get on. My friend's sister gave out my sn to a millon people. She than gets mad at me cause i was like you lied to me so don't talk to me again. She lied about giving out my sn and wouldn't stop trying to talk to me for two days straight. It figures just my luck that everything bad happens to me.
Saturday I woke up feeling like crap. Most of the day I ended up just like trying to stay up to hangout with my friend. Around 12 my mom bought us McDonald's. We all went to the dollar store. I need to get like party stuff cheap. Amber and I bought this cool fuzzy pink cow boy hats. We wore them in Walmart. This guy just started to wave to us. I was so messed up I couldn't really do anything so she pushed me in a cart. Whole time my mom is just standing there looking at us. Amazing she didn't really care. I droped Amber off at her house. I came home and just went back to sleep the rest of the day. I got up than to talk to Phil on the phone.
Monday I came home from school with a bunch of homework to do. I ended up geting extra credit cause my one teacher loves me. In gym I just played kick ball. I just sat around wondering what jason was up to. Bryce came down to help me study for french test. My neighbor gave me a bunch of christmas stuff, candles, and fake flowers. I ended up making out of fake flowers like this thing to go around the candles. I had to help her put her stuff in a van to take it to this shop. I still need craft ideas though. I was laying in my bed like at ten something. All sudden phone is for me. I wondered who it would be. Here it was jason calling me. I'm so glade my mom gave me a few mintues to talk to him
n people. She than gets mad at me cause i was like you lied to me so don't talk to me again. She lied about giving out my sn and wouldn't stop trying to talk to me for two days straight. It figures just my luck that everything bad happens to me.
Saturday I woke up feeling like crap. Most of the day I ended up just like trying to stay up to hangout with my friend. Around 12 my mom bought us McDonald's. We all went to the dollar store. I need to get like party stuff cheap. Amber and I bought this cool fuzzy pink cow boy hats. We wore them in Walmart. This guy just started to wave to us. I was so messed up I couldn't really do anything so she pushed me in a cart. Whole time my mom is just standing there looking at us. Amazing she didn't really care. I droped Amber off at her house. I came home and just went back to sleep the rest of the day. I got up than to talk to Phil on the phone.
Monday I came home from school with a bunch of homework to do. I ended up geting extra credit cause my one teacher loves me. In gym I just played kick ball. I just sat around wondering what jason was up to. Bryce came down to help me study for french test. My neighbor gave me a bunch of christmas stuff, candles, and fake flowers. I ended up making out of fake flowers like this thing to go around the candles. I had to help her put her stuff in a van to take it to this shop. I still need craft ideas though. I was laying in my bed like at ten something. All sudden phone is for me. I wondered who it would be. Here it was jason calling me. I'm so glade my mom gave me a few mintues to talk to him. It's just most amazing thing to hear from someone you haven't talked to in so long.
Tuesday I ended up just hanging out with Amber and nicole all day. During lunch there was a fight with this one girl in my homeroom and some other chick. We all ended up siting down a lunch table from the fight and watching. I dunno why at the end everyone started to clap. I came home to eat chicken that my mom cool mom cooked. I started to look at my driving book. I took a nice long nap with my big foot slippers on. Jane called me to just talk to me cause she had nothing to do. I went out to my volleyball game. I sat there talking to jess's and tina's mom. Jess her mom is just really funny and cool
Edit: I forgot my tech teacher is going to write me a recomation letter to get in the school tv program. I wanted to try out anyway. He thinks I should go to be a tech ed teacher cause I'm reallly good with computers or just go to graphic arts.
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[01 Oct 2005|07:53pm] |
Last night I ended up just going the game with Kia. She is just a really good friend on mine. Amber wanted us to go say hi to Brittany. I kew she was going to run up and hug kia. I was like just standing there she came over latter and poked me. I don't really like her, but I can't trust her since she likes to tell lies to a bunch of people. I found Georgie the coolest person on the planet. He always make me laugh to death. I just ended up walking around the rest of the night. I was so frozen by the time I got home. I stood out watching the game for almost 4 hours. I ended up waiting for Phil to call. I accidently went to sleep on the couch at like one am.
I woke up like a ten am. Kia was already up. We just sat around in the morning watching tv. In the afternoon my mom ended up puting up Halloween decorations. I got this bright idea to make ghosts with kia. We took these almost white sheets, and tore them. Some of the ghosts have black eyes or orange. I put glitter on my one ghosts. We both hung them on the first porch. I must say some of them are creepy looking. I will post a pic of it sometime.
I forgot next summer I am going to take a road trip to ny with a bunch of people.
I am geting my permit for my birthday to.
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