Growing up is Optional.

emocezi @ 2015-08-03T09:52:00

2015-08-03T15:52:26Z

Hey there guys and gals!

I know it's been almost three years since I wandered away from Livejournal. But I'm back, sort of, and I'll be making more of an effort to be around. :)

Welp

2013-02-27T16:48:54Z

I think I might be done with LJ.

Tumblr and real life have joined forces to kill it. Tumblr because everyone and their cat went over there to keymash and repost gifsets and pictures and forget how to type in complete sentences.

Real life because I work too much.

But on a bonus note, I got head hunted for a fantastic salon. I start friday.

I won't delete this journal because it has all my fic on it. But I think this is going to be my last entry.

So thank you Live Journal. For giving me some of the best years of my twenties. You made me laugh, you made me cry, you gave me advice when I needed it and let me bitch about my life and my family.

And some of the most amazing friendships I have today, were made online.

<3

A Bull in a China Shop

2013-02-04T04:55:29Z

Author: emocezi
Title: A Bull in a China Shop
Fandom: The Expendables
Pairing: Gunnar/Yin
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1076
Disclaimer: I do not own The Expendables nor do I make a profit from this work of fiction.
A/N: Good lord, I haven't posted fic in so long I've almost forgotten how to do all the HTML. Anyway, this is a fill for a square of my trope bingo card.

Timothy sighs and looks around the store. It’s a wednesday afternoon, a slow one and there’s still two hours before Cynthia comes in and he can go home and take off his black and green leather Bruno-Magli’s and enjoy the nice Pinot Grigio he’d picked up last week.

The door opens, sending the little bell hanging above it into cheerful little peels and Timothy turns to give his only customers of the day a cheerful smile. His left cheek twitches and he barely maintains his facial expression at the sight of the two men standing awkwardly at the front of the store.

The asian is only a few inches shorter than Timothy is, but next to the blonde giant he looks like a child. Next to the blonde giant, anyone would look like a child, Timothy thinks and realizes he’s smiling at them like an idiot. He clears his throat and pulls the front of his crisp white shirt straight, pulling out the wrinkles he’d obtained slouching over the counter.

“Can I help you find anything?”

“No.” The asian says. “Thank you. We are just looking.”

“Well, if you need help, let me know.”

“We won’t.” The blonde giant says with what looks like a sneer and Timothy barely refrains from rolling his eyes. Of course the big tough men don’t want his help, they might catch the gay.

“Don’t be rude.” The asian snaps and the blonde shoves his hands in his pocket and skulks into the store, glaring at the fancy dishes like they’ve personally insulted him. Timothy takes a moment to fear for the flat wear, and the metaphor about a bull in a china shop suddenly takes on a whole new meaning for him.

“I don’t see why we need this shit. We have dishes.”

“I. Want. Nice. Dishes.”

“They’re just gonna get broken.” The giant mutters and Timothy barely stops his hand from flying to his mouth. There is NO WAY. “I like these.”

“Those are ugly.”

“They’re white. How can they by ugly?”

“Too plain.” The Asian dismisses the plates with a disdainful sniff and moves to look at the Flora Danica section with a determination that makes Timothy’s heart flutter. “I like these.” There’s a smug tone to his voice and the blonde makes a choking sound.

“Those are a thousand dollars a plate. Are you goddamn insane Yinseng?”

“These are good. I want these.”

“I am not paying thirty grand for fucking plates.” Timothy starts forward when the blonde grabs a fistful of the asian’s jacket and lifts him up until his toes leave the carpet. He stops, because really, what is he gonna do if that beast decides that battering his tiny boyfriend just isn’t enough? He steps back behind the desk and grabs for the phone, wondering if he should just call the cops and get these two out of the store before they can start anything.

“Let. Go. Of. Me.” The asian snaps and there’s a sudden burn of tension that makes it hard to breathe. Timothy stares at the two, wondering what the hell is wrong with them, because this cannot be a healthy relationship.

“Come on Yinseng.” The blonde drops the asian back on his feet and throws his hands in the air, narrowly missing a wedgwood bowl. “Thirty thousand dollars for fucking plates?”

“I like nice things.”

“You’re gonna use them once a fucking year.” If Timothy didn’t know any better, he’d say the blonde was whining.

“Twice a year.” The asian says and straightens out the front of his shirt with careful precise motions. “Christmas. Chinese New Year.”

“Twice a fuckin’ year.” The blonde sighs and runs a hand over his hair, pushing it back and highlighting a vicious scar that curves along his temple in a jagged line. Who are these people? The blonde turns to look at Timothy and gestures to the Flora Danica with his head. “We’ll take ‘em.”

“How...uh..how many sets?” Timothy squeaks, squeezing the phone until it creaks under his fingers.

“Fifteen.” The asian says smugly and the blonde twitches. Timothy feels like he’s in some sort of strange dream, like his head is floating away from his body as he pulls out the paperwork that goes along with a sale this large.

There are credit checks to be done, to make sure the transaction will go through. He pulls out the paperwork for setting up a payment plan, because these men, look like they’re gonna need one.

“Alright. Gentlemen.” Timothy says, trying to keep his voice from jumping when they both make their way to the front counter. “With taxes your purchase comes to One hundred and twelve thousand, three hundred and fifty dollars. And ninety two cents. We take all major credit cards and we also accept payment plans.” Timothy trails off when the blonde pulls a stack of bills half the thickness of a brick and drops it on the desk. They’re crisp one hundred dollar bills, the paper band is still around the stack and it’s clear this money just came from the bank. Though, Timothy has to wonder how legally it was acquired, but he hasn’t heard anything about bank robberies on his twitter feed in the last few days.

“I...need to call my manager.” He says after a few moment of staring at the fat wad of bills in front of him. He knows how to make cash transactions, but he’s never done one this large before and he’d assumed he’d be setting these men up with a payment plan. The two men shrug and stand there staring at him until he remembers the phone in his hand. He clears his throat and starts to dial the number. “Hi, Shelly? It’s Timothy, yes, everything is fine. I need you to come down here, please. I have a cash transaction for a rather large sum. Uh...a hundred and twelve thousand?”

The asian sighs, already looking bored and Timothy fights the urge to scream at his boss to just get here and take care of this for him. She makes a choked noise and promises to be there in ten minutes. Timothy hangs up and offers them a smile.

“My manager will be here in ten minutes.”

“If we’d just gone to Ikea we wouldn’t have had to wait.” The blonde grumbles, then hisses out a breath and smirks when the asian drives an elbow into his stomach.

emocezi @ 2013-01-20T18:40:00

2013-01-21T01:40:41Z

I got out of my comfort zone and let my coworker do whatever she wanted on my hair. I'm so happy I let her do her thing.

Moving

2013-01-17T04:47:03Z

So I'm moving in May and I'm attempting to cut down on the books I'm bringing with me.

Some books are gonna get taken down to the local used bookstore and traded in. But I have a nearly complete set of Fruits Basket. Books 1-20 and I'm wondering if anyone is interested because I'd like to send the set to someone who will appreciate it.

I'll post a list of the books I'm planning on trading in to see if anyone is interested in them before I take them to the bookstore.

:)

emocezi @ 2013-01-03T23:00:00

2013-01-04T06:00:16Z

I signed up for trope bingo this year. And I swear to god, this was made with Gunnar/Yin in mind because I've been wanting to write more of their crazy shenanigans for a while. I am so excited to start these!! You guys have no idea. :D

au: all-human	au: neighbors	animal transformation	secret twin / doppelganger	curtainfic
locked in	presumed dead	au: space	handcuffed / bound together	au: cop / detective
genderswap	soul bonding / soulmates	FREE ★ SPACE	au: magic	au: apocalypse
fake relationship	bodyswap	time travel	immortality / reincarnation	slavefic
forced to marry	de-aged	kidfic	au: were / vamp / supernatural	au: other

emocezi @ 2013-01-01T12:07:00

2013-01-01T19:07:15Z

Happy New Year and stuff. Hope this year is better then last year. Hope I get my writing groove back soon. Hope I can make the change to Dreamwidth.

And last but not least, hope I can stop being so lazy and start going back to the gym. I have a membership, I should start using it more. :/

Celebrity Edition

2012-12-05T03:38:02Z

Oh lawd, please forgive me. I forgot all about Sunday brothel. To make up for that I bring you the special edition Celebrity night here at the Emocezi's Brothel House.

The fun thing about today, is that you can either take the actor, OR any of the characters the actor has played. You can mash them together, you can jump in the middle, you can do whatever you'd like. The only request we have here at the brothel is no lasting marks. Other then that, go wild my ladies.

You ladies know the drill. Name off your men and they'll be waiting for you in your room. And don't forget to pay the lady. ;)

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emocezi @ 2012-12-04T02:16:00

2012-12-04T09:16:10Z

So...you know that post I did a couple days ago about wanting Raj's parents to find him a husband? It was just supposed to be a throw away line, but my brain grabbed it tight and asked for more.

So here, this is Mahatma 'Matt' Suresh.

He's a twenty eight year old, 6'2" firefighter. His family immigrated to the States when he was five, and he's lost all traces of his accent, but he thinks Raj's is adorable and could listen to the guy read the phone book if only to hear him talk.

He likes Firefly, gets his comic knowledge from the Marvel movies, and finds Sheldon's antics amusing.

Somebody help me. D:

So fast!!

2012-11-29T05:11:46Z

Holy crap you guys.

I switched my web browser from Firefox to Opera after Firefox crashed a record 17 times in a 30 minute period. Opera is a hundred times faster then either Firefox or Chrome(and here I thought it was my computer being slow), and it seems pretty secure. It keeps asking me if I'm sure I want to visit this particular website, and I can't help but hear JARVIS' voice in my head, the snob.

I'll keep everyone updated on the crashing, so far nothing(knock on wood) but so far so good. :)

Also, I'm attempting to sign up for LJ chat.

Edited to say: I've tried three different 'chat mediums', and none of them seem to support the 'jabber' that LJ apparently runs on. Eff you LJ chat. Why do you have to seem to sparkly and then turn into iron pyrite when someone gets too close.

emocezi @ 2012-11-27T20:19:00

2012-11-28T03:19:18Z

So, I'm watching the episode of The Big Bang Theory where Raj asks his parents to find him a wife, and I can't help but thinking that in an alternate universe he asks his parents to find him a husband and they find him a big strapping Indian boy.

I think its an affliction, this having to slash out everything I come across. Anyone else have this problem or is it just me?

Also....someone should write me this. :D :D :D

Pottermore

2012-11-25T15:58:28Z

So, I know I'm like, five million years behind the times. But I just signed up for Pottermore today, and I'm wondering who else on LJ has an account?

Let me know so I can add you and harass you. :)

Its that time again!!

2012-11-25T15:41:29Z

Ladies, I hope you remember how this goes. Make your selection, go to your assigned room, have a fantastic night, and don't forget to pay the lady when you leave in the morning. ~<3

This week we have a lovely crop of tattooed hotties, thanks to the lovely thuris who suggested this weeks round.

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Dr. Who.

2012-11-24T02:33:26Z

So, I finally watched The Angels take Manhatten.

I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, but perhaps it's because I'm not as attached to the Ponds as I was to Rose or Donna. :/

Howdy Ma'am.

2012-11-18T16:29:31Z

So.....I decided about a week ago, after the post with the hot military boys, that I should run a brothel of sorts. ;D

So here goes.

The rules are the same, pick your numbers and your selection will be waiting in one of our many rooms. Don't forget to pay the lady in the morning.

This week we're having a special on cowboys. I'm open to suggestions on what next week's special should be.

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Hotel Transylvania

2012-11-18T04:49:36Z

I have to say, Hotel Transylvania was pretty slashy for being a movie about Dracula's daughter falling in love with a human. But over all it was an awesome movie and I'd recommend it for anyone who enjoys animated movies!!

emocezi @ 2012-11-13T17:10:00

2012-11-14T00:10:30Z

I let myself get talked into doing my friends daughters hair. Kylee is five years old and seems to run on nothing but hide-and-go-seek and wanting to be the pink Power Ranger.

How do people keep up with children?

Four hours of watching her race around the house and I'm ready for bed. It's only five o'clock.

Remember

2012-11-11T16:34:35Z

I wear a poppy to remember. Not just the Canadian soldiers who laid down their lives during the first and second world wars, but even now, for the one hundred and fifty eight soldiers who gave their lives during the last eight years, and the Canadian soldiers that will continue to fight for what is right, no matter the cost.

I wear a poppy to show that I care, that even though I've never had any member of my family in the armed forces, I still feel as if I'm connected to the men and women who answered the call to serve our nation.

I wear a poppy to offer thanks for everything they did and everything they still do.

I wear a poppy to show that even though I'll never meet the men who died for my freedoms, that I love each and every one of them.

I wear a poppy to remember.

emocezi @ 2012-11-10T22:40:00

2012-11-11T05:40:52Z

Hey, is anyone else getting declarations of love from spambots on their fanfic? Because seriously, nearly twenty different usernames sending me the exact same message over the course of a week....I really love LJ and I don't want to make the scary move over to DW because I would have to learn all new code and I'm a lazy fucker.

But anymore shit like this

Hey This is hard for me because I have never done anything like this.. but I have a huge crush on you. I have never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was. I'm really attracted to you and I think you would be wanting to get with *Read FULL Card Here* http://date.unudulmaz.com

and I think I'm gonna be done. Isn't there some sort of spamfilter to keep this sort of shit out? Ugh.

emocezi @ 2012-11-07T08:39:00

2012-11-07T15:39:14Z

Yay, the American Elections are finally over!!! Now I don't have to hear any more about tax reformations and why this guy would be better for things then that other guy and blah blah blah.

In Canadian news, we have a by-election set for November 26 of this year. Apparently three members of parliament vacated their seats earlier this year and now every party in Canada is trying to dig their hooks into at least one of the three seats.

Also, to my American friends who bitch about having to vote on the second Tuesday of November every four years. Our last election was May 2, 2011. Our next one will be in two and a half weeks, and the one after that will happen whenever the opposition party decides they don't like what the party in power is doing. So suck it up and stop acting like bitches.

11 for 11

2012-11-06T22:20:39Z

As a Canadian I don't show my patriotism in as flashy a manor as my American friends, but I fully support our troops, both here and over seas. This is one of the small ways I feel like I can give back.

Lest we forget their sacrifice.

Wine, hot men, and song.

2012-10-31T04:40:05Z

So my dearest wench-wife kyuubi_paw was having a bad day. So I took it upon myself to cheer her up be sending her a few lovely pictures of men in uniform, though it's not really fair since her husband is Army and she gets to see hot men in uniform on a daily basis, that lucky bitch.

Anyway, I started thinking that maybe she wasn't the only one who was having a bad day and in need for some cheering up.

So without further ado, I present Hot Military Babes, for your viewing pleasure.

Let the lady at the front know which one you'd prefer and he'll be waiting for you in a back room. *saucy wink*

Please note, options 3 and 10 come as a package deal. ;D

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emocezi @ 2012-10-30T11:19:00

2012-10-30T17:19:06Z

I'm worried about all my friends out east. Stay safe and dry you guys.

emocezi @ 2012-10-27T09:34:00

2012-10-27T15:34:10Z

I swear to god there are days when having a best friend just isn't worth it. It's like being married sometimes. I get the mistrust, the paranoia and the angry passive aggressive guilt trips whenever I end up having to break plans because something came up. The only thing I don't get is the bonus of makeup sex.

Ugh.

Ignore my ranting, I'm doing it here because I can't do it on Facebook.

Chuck

2012-10-24T16:40:04Z

Okay so, I'm watching Chuck. I watched half of the first season when it came out and then real life ate me and I didn't have time to watch the rest of it. So right now I'm a quarter of the way through season two and I'm wondering.

Does anyone have ay really good Chuck/Casey fic recs(I will also accept Chuck/Bryce). By all means, pimp your own work out if you want to.

And I'm talking about super in-character fics. And also any sort of Sentinel AU, because I can't help but associate Casey with a Sentinel. :D

Edited to say: BUUUU EVERYONE SUCKS. I bet if I asked for Grey's Anatomy fic recs people would be all over that. *sulks*

P.S. I hate Grey's Anatomy. Don't give me fic recs.