I’ve been trying to find a vulnerable-y safe space to write

I’ve journaled intensely, and sometimes sporadically, over the past few years. I have five or six A5 notebooks that I carry around with me at any one time when I go anywhere, in the hope that one day I may have the time and the will to ‘digitalise’ these scribbles, these rants, these musings. Perhaps collate them somewhere online, where I can organise the chaos, or continue the chaos in one organised space. A safe space where I can feel free to be me, to share what I want to share without fear of judgement, to write what I want to write about without boxing myself into one category, one theme, one niche. Some things are personal, some things are science and neuroscience-y, some things are spiritual, some things are related to my life and work as a doctor, some things are adventure and hiking-related, and some things just have no category. But I would love a safe space where I don’t have to worry about my old ‘doctor’ identity, where I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone, where I don’t have to worry about what I can or can’t say.

I’ve flirted with sharing some writing with close friends, or family. I’ve even forced myself to share small snippets on social media, and yet it used to fill me with such irrational dread. What is this gnawing fear, I often wonder, knowing that it probably harks back to something buried in my past. Will people think I’m being ridiculous? Cheesy? Too much? Trying too hard? Will they laugh? Judge? It took me days to push through some of those emotions, overthinking and ruminating on the utter insignificance of what I was doing, in the grand scheme of things. But as I get older, possibly wiser, I know I’m getting better at not caring what other people think anymore. And I admire the writers who publish freely, and courageously. So here I am starting my own little corner of the internet for myself, and for those who are interested and want to come along for the journey.

Come along for the journey

Anyone is welcome to this space of mine. I’m starting a new chapter in this book of my life. Everything’s been shaken up a little bit over the past few years and I’m in the midst, or maybe in the mist, of a disconcerting but also exhilarating metamorphosis. Everything has changed and I’m slowly beginning to see the clear mountain through the fog. Come along if you’re at a crossroads in life. If you’re questioning all the things, if you’re constantly curious, if you’re yearning for simplicity, for nature, if you’re seeking the courage to be creative, if you’re kind. Come along if you seek adventure, if you feel a bit rebellious, if you feel a bit existential at times but don’t know what to do with that feeling, if you want to do things differently. Come along if you seek the wild - both out there and within you - hopefully, something will resonate.

What to expect

I don’t really know yet. I want this to be organic, and then maybe the organised chaos in my journals, my head and my computer, will start to become cohesive, consistent, and connected. Or not. I can’t promise a post on a particular day yet, I can’t promise total consistency right now because I’m in the throes of a career transition and it’s daunting and exciting and there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. So I need to figure it out along the way, but I can promise honesty, authenticity, and some vulnerability.

Connection, feedback, and friendship all welcome

Thank you for reading, and maybe joining me on this journey.