From the Head of Zane

Question of the day

2009-10-04T09:27:44Z

Question: Why are you gay?

Answer: Because I like penis.

Follow up: Male Penis?

Finale: Tradtionally, yes.

Rumours of my demise... or being straight... are flat out wrong :)

2009-09-26T11:39:03Z

staggers back into lj

There... there... were monkeys!
Crazy space monkeys!

Ok... the monkeys may have been an exaggeration... my life has just been thrown around like a snow globe recently or more like monkeys playing with a snow globe.

Just now the snow is settling down.

So I may actually get back on here more :)

If not... poke me and make sure I'm still awake

*mwahs to all*

Zane

Right back where it all began...

2008-10-17T03:38:43Z

Yes, the couple who brought us the original slash... back before the internet... when computers were the size of buildings... when people sent letters and "hardcopy zines" were all the rage... when dinosaurs roamed the earth... when the world was sepia coloured......

They be back.

Probably old news but I thought I'd dust of my stetson and assless chaps and amble back into the LJ saloon.

More info about the movie here

Some fic... mayhaps?

2008-08-18T12:43:30Z

Oh, hi!

You're still here? I'm touched *sloppy kisses* :)

Big hugs for all ya all who are still giving my LJ the time of day. I promise to post exactly what has been happening the past few months, with life, my foot, work, family, all the boring stuff lol.

Anywho, I threw together a little ficlet. Those responsible for this one will know who they are. I can't really tell you much about it without giving stuff away. In case you don't get it I'm gonna add a hidden coloured explanation in red quotes at the end. Select it for the lowdown.

Yup, this is a ficlet you're gonna have to read at least twice.

Enjoy

It's a long way from the bright light at the front of house of the theatre.

In actual fact it's only about ten feet but it may as well have been as far away as A is from Z.

There was a leather clad emo standing by the stage door. It was the best way to describe the figure lurking in the shadows.

The leather was much more of an optional extra in this case. There was more exposure than leather. Unlike an emo however there was a jittery nervousness, waiting by the stage door of the theatre.

In the dull flicking light from above the door, if you looked hard enough you could see in the trash on the ground, remants of a few of his fixes were scattered around him. The light illuminated a few of the faded posters that had survived being on the brick wall.

"Most sensational," the emo figure read part of one of the posters he could see from the flickering light. He scoffed. Maybe in it's heyday, the theatre was that now, it was just another run down theatre that was only frequented by a select clientelle.

Yes, back in the day, well before the jittery emo was born, the theatre would be packed with people, laughing until it hurt. He never saw it back then. There were only whispered mutterings on the street he frequented about those days.

He'd heard a lot of the stories. Didn't really believe them. He was more inclined to believe what he saw with his own eyes.

"Inspirational," one of the gay couple, who lived in a building on the street he worked, told him one day, when he'd asked about the theatre. "I never performed there, neither did my partner." The last word 'partner' was said in almost a clandestined way. It was the worst keep secret on the street. Everyone played dumb. It wasn't hurting anyone and it was fun to play along.

"There were jugglers, commedians, stunt artists, exhibition dancing, singers, a regular vaudville mere streets away."

The emo actually smiled when he saw the wistful look in the gay guy's eyes. He didn't ask many people what things were like back then. Some were prone to anger that those days were long gone and never going to return. The emo would take a small hit of the powder in the small pocket attached to his leathers and wander off down the street.

He wasn't even sure why he was being asked to meet here. Probably cause it was so far away from where people knew him.

The bag he had, clutched in his hand, was still warm. The contents were fresh. He'd stopped off on his way here.

He looked up as the remnants of his last fix were crushed underfoot to see a figure in the mouth of the allyway.

The figure was much bigger than him. Clad in a trenchcoat with a wide fedora tipped low.

He approached the emo.

Suddenly, the emo had decided he didn't want this but it was too late, the trenchcoat figure was too close.

In the flickering light of the stage door, the emo saw the eyes of the trenchcoat stranger as they rolled around, almost independant of each other.

What was this guy on? the emo thought to himself.

He was close to the emo now, his breath tickled the hairs on the back of his neck.

The voice was rough, it was vaguely familar to the emo. He'd heard it before, when he was working on the street.

"Do you have them?" he asked. The emo nodded nervously, and reached into a smaller leather pouch, for another fix.

"That's not good for you, you know," the rough voice said.

"Yeah, well, neither is this," the emo said, holding the bag up. The trenchcoated stranger made to grab the bag but the emo pulled it away with a new found confidence.

"C is for cookie," the trenchcoated stranger drooled, the emo felt the warm breath and smelt the sweetness of the stranger.

"Cookies are a sometimes food," the emo said nervously.

"Sometime is now time."

Explanation: "Have you guessed? The Emo... is Elmo. Our Trenchcoated stranger, is the Cookie Monster. The "gay guy," is Ernie and the theatre in question is "The Muppet Theatre." Oh, and shame on you for thinking I'd give Elmo crack. Pixie Stix are his upper of choice.
Your options now: Vomit - cause you just inadvertantly read dark!muppet fic. Read it again to see if you can pick up the in jokes or tell others and see if you can get them to unwittingly fall into a dark!muppet world... muhahahahahaha *cough* *splutter* hahahaha."</div>

Catch ya all again soon

*mwahs and waves*

Zane

Calendario Romano 2009

2008-08-12T11:47:11Z

Yep... pretty much goin' to hell. Cause there's more than just the priestly pussy action going on there...

http://www.calendarioromano.org/03.html

Oh, and might I say... the ideal Christmas gift ;)

Yup, hell... or if that's what's going on upstairs... hopefully... heaven

Tee hee... nearly wrote heavin' then

The Nums Lock doesn't work

2008-08-12T02:02:53Z

I just had to post this:

Me: IT how can I help you?
Idiot on Phone: The Nums Lock won't work.
Me: You've tried using the number pad?
Idiot: It doesn't work, the light on the keyboard doesn't come on.
Me: And the number pad isn't working?
Idiot: It's not working!
Me: Okay I'll come have a look.

(A minute or two passes as I hobble my way to the idiot, who is sitting at their desk, arms folded refusing to continue work until their problem is solved.)

Idiot in Person: You took your time.
Me: Galiantly refrains from picking up the keyboard and smashing it over their head.

Me: Uses number pad with no difficulty.
Idiot: Agog

Me: You didn't try the number pad did you?
Idiot: Yes... I did... It wasn't working.
Me: Well, it's working now.
Idiot: But the light isn't on.
Me: Shuts the window blinds near idiot.
Idiot: The lights are back on now it's alright.

Me: Shakes head and hobbles away.

Poo on Mars?

2008-08-05T03:31:40Z

That's right folks NASA may have struck... uhhh... poo.

News link

Someone better tell them that poo has already been discovered... a while back actually... and we didn't have to go all the way to Mars to find it.

Just sayin'.

PS: Yeah... uhhh... the link didn't... uh... link. That's what I get from trying humour from work.

ahem

2008-08-02T23:32:48Z

The Dark Knight

2008-07-20T03:46:32Z

Don't panic, not gonna spoil peeps as to what happens in it.

Just wanted to let everyone know, I saw it and that it makes me miss Heath even more now.

*sighs*

But as part of this experience, I went and saw the movie opening weekend.

Not smart.

When I first went to get my ticket there wasn't a lot of people around and I'm kinda like "sweet, no too much chaos." I went to get some dinner (Saturday night, kinda had to be Subway... never could say no to a meaty foot long).

After dinner, I went back to the cinema to see a rather hefty line had formed then realised that all these people were going to see the movie as well.

*eep*

I checked with one of the ~~ticket collecters~~ ushers (sighs) who said that the massive line was for cinema 9, which had skin-a-max or at least, that's what it sounded like she said. Anyway I was in another cinema. So as they all filed into cinema 9 i was worried that cinema 10 (my cinema) was going to be equally long.

Happily, it wasn't. There was a queue of about 20 or so people and by time the half a freakin' hour of previews and ads were done and the movie had started the cinema was still only about half full

I enjoyed this movie quite a lot. There were like, little lulls were you could catch your breath but then you were off on the rollercoaster of a movie again.

My only gripe with the movie was that it was sometimes difficult to understand some of the characters. Not just Batman either, with the mouth full of gravel he was gargling when he delivered most of his lines, and Gordo was sometimes a little too quiet and others a little too shouty. But still, well worth going to see.

This was my first Heath movie since his passing in January. I haven't been able to watch any of his other stuff since but I think I've finally turned the corner to be able to watch again. Maybe not a full complete movie just yet but I'm getting there.

Dr Horrible - Act III

2008-07-20T02:23:58Z

Act III

Catch it while you can, before it goes *poofies*

Dr Horrible - Act Two

2008-07-18T12:43:29Z

Act Two

Warning: May contain consumption of frozen yogurt.

*nods*

Consider yourself warned.

Dr Horrible - Act One

2008-07-15T12:21:55Z

Act One

Watch it quick there, kiddies!

A Joss Whedon with time on his hands is a dangerous thing

2008-07-13T08:51:21Z

http://www.drhorrible.com/plan.html

Zane's continuing misadventures

2008-03-10T11:41:56Z

After about a week of the cast it felt like i had a blister on my left Achilles tendon.

Now I just assumed it was like when you get new shoes and you've just got to get used to them and wear them in. After my weekly visit to the doctor he said to go back to the place that did the cast and have them check it.

So, I made an appointment for this morning and got a ride in from a friend. Thankfully I only had to wait about 10mins for the pretty male therapist to take me out the back and manhandle me.

So, I tell him what the go is. He cuts a small window in the cast at the area of the Achilles and surmises that the cast was incorrectly set in the beginning... fantastic.

He tells me that my foot should be at a right angle and unable to it in the cast. So, while he "manipulates" me and strengthens the cast i just lay there and tell him of my adventures.

Once he's done strengthening the cast he asks me to stand and lean against the wall....

I'm like... "Okay..." but what he meant was to ensure the cast hardened correctly i should stand, lean against the wall, and push into the cast keeping my foot at the right angle.

"Ohhhhh, okay" I say.

After about ten minutes he's back with one of a crutch. Not an under the arm job but one of those ones which is more like a walking stick with a firm plastic loop at the top to support your arm.

Now with the cast strengthened it is literally impossible to move my foot even the fractionist of an inch. I can't bend my foot at all, which is as it should be apparently.

So, now I'm home, with a very sore foot and about to drug up and head to bed. Those hardcore drugs... my skype friends will remember one late night one of our team took something similar while still online and very nearly didn't make it to bed... those in the know know who I'm talking about.

Anyways, many thanks for those kind comments and emails, it's most appreciated. So are chocolate, alcohol and men... so, yeah :)

*hearts*
Zane
</div>

a long time between drinks

2008-02-28T11:57:55Z

So, finally i get the chance to poke my head from out under the overgrown shrubbery that is my LJ and give a status report.

I'm broken.

Couple of weeks ago (Feb 12, to be exact) I tripped and fell. Luckily I did this during work time and my boss and co-worker were with me.

At first I'm like "I'm fine, just a little trip" and I continue on. I get into the car for a callout, no problems. 20mins later out of the car... can't put much weight on my left ankle.

Not pleasant.

Manage to get on site, still thinking, "No worries" when it's just too much to move around. So my co-worker says "Just to be on the safe side, get the first aider." I grudgingly comply. They get my shoe and sock off to find my ankle has swelled to something like a tennis ball.

They get me to a local clinic, they send me off for xrays. Nothing broken. Just a nasty sprain. Strap it up. Ice it. Good as new.

I go and see the doctor again the following Monday (Feb 18). My doctor this time. 5min poke and prod of my ankle. He suspects torn ligament and minor fracture. Send me off for a "stress view" xray and an ultrasound to see what's going on. Make an appointment with the xray place.

"Sorry, can't get you in till next Thursday."

Fast forward to today (Feb 28). Finally get the ultrasound. The doctor starts be examining the inside left ankle. Even though the doctor's report says outside left ankle. Perplexed by a lack of injury he calls another doctor who knows what he's doing and after five minutes...

"There is a tear of the left anterior talo-fibular ligament"

Next is the stress view xray... Now, i just thought this was a different kind of xray... like they dull down the radiation or something.

How sorely mistaken I was.

Stress view it just that. In my case someone wrenching my foot asking my when it hurts to say so then take the xray.

Again, not pleasant.

"The stress view shows slight widening of the lateral margin of the tibial-talar joint space on stress inversion but no abnormal widening of the joint space on stress eversion."

Yup, they wrenched my foot twice.

Back to the doctor who says that in his professional medical opinion "your foot is fucked" (Family doctor, known him for years, something of a joker). He advises another week off and tomorrow a cast which i will wear for six weeks!

Sooooo... how's your time been? ;)
</div>

tattoos and broadway and new york in winter oh my!

2008-01-04T08:02:01Z

So, some of you may know, a very dear long time friend of mine has invited me to spend a week in New York, do a bunch of fabulous broadway shows and generally enjoy both each others company and the Big Apple.

Now, before all of you clammour to stow away in my luggage my question is to those in the general Manhattan and surrounding areas or those who've visited.

I want to get my next adventure tattoo in New York... gawd it sounds like the boy scouts...

"Yes, this week boys we're going to learn how to bear the pain of being tattooed... okay... now whose first?"
"Timmy, did you get your flaming skull tattoo? You need that to pass the basic first time... uhhh... Timmy? He passed out.... I'm sure he'll be okay?"

Okay, so maybe not the boy scouts.

But what I am looking for is recommendations for tattoo artists, in the general area. Any help would be most appreciated. I'm kinda cutting this a bit fine. I'm getting into New York Jan 14.

Again, any help... most appreciated :D

*hearts*

Zane

nude mormons?!?!

2007-11-18T23:25:46Z

The newspaper article

The website

Enjoy! :)

Checkin' in with mah peeps

2007-11-11T20:03:28Z

Hi ho there all, thought I'd crawl out from under my rock for a spell. So many things going on of recent, many social networking sites joined, many... many hours being worked, brain not quite coping with everything but I'm getting there.

So, don't panic, I'm around still. It me up here or email me and we'll catch up.

Oh, yes, I do have fic which has congealed slightly, but with a good amount of stirring, loff and nekkid men, should have cracking along in no time.

Much loff to all my flisters out there hope to catch up with y'all soon.

*hearts*

Zane

Vibrate a Friend Day - Oct 1 2007

2007-08-20T03:58:25Z

Okay, yes I've been illusive of recent and whatnot, work and life have just been annoying, but to make up for all that...

Vibrate a Friend Day - Oct 1 2007

Be part of the fun!

If you use Skype and have PhoneOut credit or if you chat with friend on MSN, Yahoo!, AIM, GoogleTalk, etc get ready to vibrate!

On Oct 1, during lunch, or whenever, switch your phone to vibrate, message a friend on one of the above messaging systems and get them to give you a call! Or arrange to vibrate a friend on the day.

It's all about having fun and getting over that annoyance which is Mondayitis.

Pass this message around if you want, and join in the fun!

Come on, you know you wanna, all the other kids are doin' it :)

Vibrate the world!

Zane
aka
VibrateOr

</div>

Gay? Wanna come to Australia? Then you better put out.

2007-05-21T20:53:53Z

Uhhh yeah, gay refugees can stay but straight ones have to head home and learn to fire a gun or take it like a trooper on Oxford Street.

Under the gaydar

just where the heck has zane been

2007-05-20T04:46:54Z

Sadly, most has been work. Easily 12-14hr days for the past month or two trying to get a new system installed, working, and able to interact with other departments in the building.

Plus, new ISP at work which completely screwed up all of our services which require internet access.

Add to that, conferences, regular help desk shifts, more shifts cause we had people on leave or just left the organisation.

Brain very nearly went to pot, but then... on a drunken dare I ended up starting a myspace profile.

Well, that just opened the floodgates and i've been out with some guys, had some guys over my place, gone to clubs, felt guys up, been felt up, full on groped a guy through his underwear, had vid calls with guys jacking off for me...

Completely crazy. So it's like i'm burning at both ends. Finishing work and partying the weekend and some week nights away.

At least work is stablising somewhat so i can have more fun and get back into LJ.

Hope to chat up with all ya all soon

Zane
xoxoxo

Playing air guitar with my penis, in the rain

2007-03-24T13:12:07Z

Playing air guitar with my penis, in the rain.

I could have had a little something to drink tonight. It sounds like the lyrics to a 60s song, doesn't it.

"And I was playing air guitar with my penis, in the rain... doo bee doo bee... doo."

Okay, so maybe it wasn't icing sugar on those "brownies" I got with my pizza from Dominos tonight.

"Oh yes, I was sitting on my sofa, playing air guitar with my penis... in the rain"

I could have created a cult classic here and now at this very moment.

"I was eating Pringles, sitting on my sofa, playing air guitar with my penis... quite rightly... in the rain"

Or maybe not.

I'm sure that the talented amoungst my friends out there could help out with some lyrics...

Or maybe not.

*puts the bottle of wine to the side*

Thank god I have an extra hour to sleep in tomorrow.

Catching up...

2007-03-10T12:59:18Z

It's been a while since I did a catch up post so, here we go.

Yeah, it kinda surprised me too. The one person on staff I would never have expected to cause a meltdown in me and... kablamo it happened.

She had come in recovering from sickness to find all her email had been moved by my supervisor. As I was in the room at the time, I was in the direct firing line.

I knew my supervisor had moved stuff and I told him there would be hell to pay but he wouldn't listen.

She's stressing cause she doesn't have access to emails from last year and I'm like "WTF?!" She's getting more stressed and I'm doubly stressed cause I have her stressing at me and I'm stressing over the fact that my supervisor stressed her.

Voices are getting louder I'm trying sooo hard not to swear and the whole workroom is silent because of us. I have blood pounding in my ears I'm only distantly aware of a management person trying to defuse the situation and I draw a fist.

I was so very close to hitting her. The management saw my fist, luckily the person I was arguing with didn't.

I walked out and slammed the door... for dramatic effect and I was pissed off royally. I left the building. Stood outside for a good twenty minutes. Took me about four goes to get back into the building. I managed to get to my desk and I was there for five minutes before I had to go back outside.

Finally my supervisor turned up again from a meeting that he'd hidden in to have been told by management what had happened. He asked me if it was because the organisation was asking me to go on a course and pay for it myself with money I don't have.

I said that I had no idea where the outburst came from but I did tell him that if I stayed in the building any longer that I would have hit my co-worker.

He asked me if I was okay now and I said I was then got a phone call.

It was the management person asking me to come to a meeting about a conference i was going to be doing computer support for. the other person at the meeting, the co-worker i was going to hit earlier.

The management person asked if I was okay. I told her I was fine but didn't want to talk about it. I put my professional face on and made it through the meeting then fled like a crazy person.

That was the last i've heard of it as there was a day off on Friday, so no doubt something will come of all this on Monday.

On the plus side of things, pretty electricians today, playing with my cabling again. when will those boys learn. Tight uniforms, on ladders at the perfect ass oggling height. One of the guys I know as a family friend, told me he was engaged. Damn, it. Another lost to the straights.

Oh well, tomorrow is Sunday and I can relax and just, chill ready for Monday which will be quite interesting.

I'll let you all know how things pan out.

Zane
xoxoxo

</div>

No particular reason...

2007-03-01T07:03:08Z

Just hanging out... in nothing but a towel

What happens when you proposition a co-worker...?

2007-02-23T07:33:30Z

So, yeah I inadvertently and drunkenly propositioned a co worker, better known to some on my flist as Mormon Boy.

I sent a message though MSN messenger at about 3.30am last Saturday morning, after drinking a good portion of a bottle... aka, the whole damn thing of wine. The gist of the message was that I noticed him playing with himself and offering my services to broaden his world view. but at 3.30am I used somewhat more colourful language.

Last Saturday was my day to work. I revved up MSN and within a few minutes he'd replied half jokingly, it seemed, that he wasn't interested. I apologised if i insulted him then said I needed to go on the desk. To which he said:

"bi"

Now I assumed this to be a pun for the word "bye" so I sent back "very amusing" and went on my desk shift.

I came back to my office after to pick up my bag to go home a few hours later and saw he'd responded starting with "no, not amusing" and a raft of messages protesting the likelihood of him being interested.

Whether this was a case of "he doth protest too much" or what I don't know cause I didn't get to read the other messages but, yeah. The general gist was something to the effect of "metrosexual" not "homosexual"

Saturday night I sent him a lengthy email explaining myself and how I'd come to the thought that he needed "instruction" and apologised if I offended him.

Sunday I get a reply saying that everything is good.

Monday and it's like nothing happened... literarily. We talked and chatted just like we'd done before without a problem. We had lunch, watched tellie, shopped it's completely surreal. There's been a few little remarks. Nothing nasty just more comments on my behaviour and such.

Today, Friday, and I'm spending time this afternoon with Ian!clone. Showing him the organisations various systems and helping him with a job he'd been assigned. About 3pm and Mormon boy comes in cause the supervisor in our section has gone for the day and he's bored. He was floating around myself and Ian!clone for about five minutes and it felt like... well... kinda like, "Look at me I'm pretty too." kinda jealousy thing. I must admit to being stunned. Like he was really close to me, like brushing against me close. After another few minutes of idle chat he wandered off.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Spent the next hour and a half with Ian!clone, helping him out and generally chatting. The best thing about this situation is it's almost like management is forcing us together.

"Oh, go and see Zane, he knows how that program works." "You'll need to sit with Zane and he can show you that system"

*blinks*

*blinks blinks*

I'm getting pretty boys thrown at me! Ian!clone could be a very good possibility at going out for a drink with and etc. And the boy not interested is jealous... There are perks to the job after all ;)

I'll keep my flist apprised of further developments.

*hearts*

Zane</div>

From the Head of Zane

Question of the day

Rumours of my demise... or being straight... are flat out wrong :)

Right back where it all began...

Some fic... mayhaps?

Calendario Romano 2009

The Nums Lock doesn't work

Poo on Mars?

*ahem*

The Dark Knight

Dr Horrible - Act III

Dr Horrible - Act Two

Dr Horrible - Act One

A Joss Whedon with time on his hands is a dangerous thing

Zane's continuing misadventures

a long time between drinks

tattoos and broadway and new york in winter oh my!

nude mormons?!?!

Checkin' in with mah peeps

Vibrate a Friend Day - Oct 1 2007

Gay? Wanna come to Australia? Then you better put out.

just where the heck has zane been

Playing air guitar with my penis, in the rain

Catching up...

No particular reason...

What happens when you proposition a co-worker...?

ahem