Love like an arsonist

apping tl;dr. the return.

2010-08-14T13:32:53Z

NEXT ATTRACTION

SHAUN MASON (~suicidewaiting)
【 the destination 】 amatomnes
【 the whositwhatsitgalore 】 professional zombie poker from The Newsflesh Trilogy. That! Is the official title of the trilogy but only one book is out. So I'm like unsurefais about what canon title to put. But anyway, rampantly cheery, hates to be bored and believes any moment where he is not threatened with, by or for zombies is a moment wasted. Can be bratty, often cocky, most of the time hilarious. Co-dependence issues with his sister.
【 the happy funtiems 】 I-I have like. a million post ideas and drafts for him already even though for the life of me idk what I think I'm doing apping him into a sex game given that HE IS MORE CELIBATE THAN SOME MONKS in the book. But the siren lure of castmates (a George! a roleplayer from Feed!!)... my one weakness. But yeah surprisingly enough I do have a lot of ideas about what I want to do with him, even more so than when I planned to app him at deadculture? And that's like. A game with zombies yo. I still might toss him there given that I have an app for him now. I do chalk it up to mostly being familiar with how to play in Amat? idk we'll see, it's different with every character. Some take to the setting better than others.
【 the srs bznz 】 er... I shouldn't be allowed to have canonmates. EVEN NOW I AM SLOW LIKE A GLACIER. idk i am either p3ping or reading mirai nikki these days
【 the to-procrastinate list 】 WELL. HIS APP IS PENDING. If he gets accepted, intro post. ooc post. info post. keywords? actually have the free time to tag properly?

COMING SOON

GRETEL (~firebrooms)
【 the destination 】 somarium
【 the whositwhatsitgalore 】 YANGIRE MAX from Ludwig Kakumei, protective of her brother, likes to talk about cooking people! Lovelovelove her character design. /SHALLOW?
【 the happy funtiems 】 um. Kaori Yuki Haus of Incest and Morgue Dinner Club times?
【 the srs bznz 】 LOL DO I EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY HER.
【 the to-procrastinate list 】 ...mtd and app?

OR

YUNO GASAI (~axecrazed)
【 the destination 】 wherever keikain brings her Minene? / somarium
【 the whositwhatsitgalore 】 Craziest bitch that ever crazied and bitch. On the surface, school idol. Underneath: complete. yandere. You know a girl is a scary nutjob when the fact that she's a stalker is the least scary thing about her. Also the baddest of BAMFs who will fuck you up so quick and so hard if you threaten Yukiteru, threaten her HAPPY END ;D with Yukiteru or otherwise take Yukiteru's attention from her.
【 the happy funtiems 】 so so so so so crazy. I have never done this before and I want to try it.
【 the srs bznz 】 I have played villain-y types before but no one this violent and this deranged. Lau and Izaya are both SANE-ISH? The thing is, she's both extremely intelligent and a brutally effective tactician but she is also 'destroy the world if she can't have her loved one' crazy. There is a balance! Also sometimes her nuttiness is hilarious and I blame videogames for warping me this way. Anyway she is single-minded, the Yukiteru Determinator. Everything is YUKKIYUKKIYUKKIYUKKIYUKKIYUKKI so. I mean how the hell do you get CR with that. And the future diaries! idk i'd love to play the survival game out. maybe someone should mess with her phone like that. Unfortunately not a lot of games will allow me to play out... just how messed up she is. idk!
【 the to-procrastinate list 】 um. app! test drive! find a game!

UNSUREFAIS

SHAWN SPENCER (~karmahoudini)
【 the destination 】 gargleblasted / capeandcowl or theposthumans
【 the whositwhatsitgalore 】 i don't need to talk about him any more sob.
【 the happy funtiems 】 favorite character blah blah
【 the srs bznz 】 I HAVE NEVER PLAYED HIM IN AN ACTUAL GAME. INTIMIDATED. DISENCHANTMENT WITH NEW SEASON.
【 the to-procrastinate list 】 ...half-written app. is half-written. massive canon review.

LADD RUSSO (~murdergauge)
【 the destination 】 theskytides?
【 the whositwhatsitgalore 】 god i am attracted to crazy murderous types this month. thank you fuck you a villain has arrived.
【 the happy funtiems 】 JUST SOME MURDER. MAYHEM.
【 the srs bznz 】 ahhhh LIGHT NOVELS THE COMPLETIST IN ME WANTS TO DIE.
【 the to-procrastinate list 】 ...kill myself.

i may or may not have just doomed this game by advertising this

2010-06-29T04:05:08Z

DEAD CULTURE
MAIN ☠ PROSE ☠ OOC

It's been three weeks since the world has gone to hell. The islands of Malta, otherwise now known as ground zero, have been officially quarantined after an explosion in Valletta spread mass panic throughout the country. Citizens of the archipelago have been advised to sit tight and wait for the extermination of what the BBC considers a new strain of 'rabies' (otherwise known as Lyssaflu). Those infected are encouraged to turn themselves in for cleansing. Despite the efforts of the local government, special operatives labeled ELVIRA have stepped in to take charge of the purge. Since the arrival of ELVIRA, Malta has lost contact with the rest of the world. The status of the infection is as of now, undetermined.

....

DEAD CULTURE is a 'zombie' apocalypse panfandom game set in the country of Malta, an archipelago in the south Mediterranean Sea.

Reserves are open!
Apps open July 7th
The Game begins July 18th

NAVIGATION

NO I AM NOT A MOD AT THIS GAME
AND I HAVE NO PLANS ON APPLYING TO CO MOD EITHER
BE NOT AFRAID

why you should read the name of the wind.

2010-04-02T09:25:07Z

REPOSTED FOR UH. SAVING: CAGE MATCH 2010 - Jaime Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire, George R.R. Martin) vs. Kvothe (The Kingkiller Chronicle, Patrick Rothfuss)

PATRICK ROTHFUSS' TAKE ON HOW THE MATCH WOULD GO:

It was midmorning, and the autumn sun was hot as Jaime Lannister opened the door of the Waystone Inn. The place was oddly quiet, and he peered through the door, one hand resting lightly on his sword.

The taproom was empty except for a dark-haired young man lounging behind the bar. “Can I help you?”

Jaime stepped inside. “I’m looking for the owner. We have… business.”

The young man stood up straighter. “He’s stepped out for a moment. You’re Jaime?”

Jaime frowned slightly as he looked the young man over. “I am. And you are?”

“Bast.” The young man said with a grin. “He said I’m to make you comfortable if you showed up early. He shouldn’t be more than an hour or two. Can I get you something to drink?”

Jaime moved to sit at the bar. “I don’t suppose you have any decent wine out here in the ass end of nowhere?”

“What do you mean by decent?” Bast asked.

Jaime waved a hand dismissively. “Why don’t you bring out your best bottle? I’ll tell you if it’s something worth drinking.”

Bast looked offended as he headed down the basement stairs, returning a moment later with a dusty bottle.

“Something off the top shelf, I hope,” Jamie said.

“Something from behind the shelf,” Bast said proudly. “I can’t keep track of what the wines are called in these parts, but I’m guessing when you hide a bottle, it’s the good stuff.”

Bast worked a corkscrew and opened the bottle with a deft flourish. Then he brought out a tall wineglass, poured an inch of deep red wine into it, and held it out with an ingratiating smile.

Jaime made no motion to take it. “You drink half.”

Bast glanced down at the glass, then back up, his smile fading. “It tells you a lot about a man when he says something like that.”

Jaime showed his teeth in a sharp, joyless expression that had the shape of a smile. “It says a lot about you,” he said smugly, “that you aren’t willing to drink it.”

Bast gave a dismissive sniff, picked up the glass, and took a mouthful of the dark wine. Then he raised his eyebrows and made an appreciative noise as he picked up the bottle and eyed the engraving on the neck. “I can see why he hid this one,” Bast said, pouring more into the glass. “That’s just lovely.”

Jaime shrugged. “Ah well,” he said. “You know what they say. Better safe than sore,” he held out his hand.

Bast brought the glass close to his chest, his blue eyes icy. “This is my drink now.” He took another sip of the wine. “Rude guests go thirsty. Drink your own piss for all I care.”

Jaime’s expression went dark. “I’m not here for you,” he said. “But killing you wouldn’t be far out of my way.”

They stared at each other for a while across the bar. After a moment, Bast set the bottle down hard on the bar. “Fine,” he said, nudging it so it slid forward. “I won’t insult you by offering you a glass or anything. I could poison that, too. You’ll just have to drink it right from the bottle…” Bast grinned. “Like an unlettered cretin.”

Jaime picked up the bottle. “Boy,” he said. “If it makes you feel brave to show your teeth to me, go right ahead. But I’ll only tolerate so much.” He took a drink straight from the bottle, paused, and took another slower drink as if to make sure of something. He looked surprised. “Well, that is good, isn’t it?”

Bast nodded and took another sip.

“Did he say when he’ll be back?”

Bast looked down at his feet. “A couple hours,” he said with an odd tone in his voice. “He wasn’t expecting you until noon.”

“Don’t look so glum, boy,” Jaime said. “Look at the bright side. In a couple hours I’ll be on my way and you’ll be the owner of this fine inn.”

Bast looked up and his eyes were anxious. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to call this off?”

Jaime gave a humorless laugh and took another drink. “Good lord, boy. Why on earth would I do that?”

“Human decency?” Bast said.

Something about this struck the golden-haired man as funny, and he erupted into a great belly laugh that lasted for nearly a minute. Eventually he trailed off, wiping the water from his eyes. “You just earned yourself a tip, boy.” He shook his head in disbelief and took another drink.

“It’s just that…” Bast began.

“Look, boy.” Jaime leaned forward onto the bar. “I can tell you’re a talker. You probably learned that from him. I hear he’s got a silver tongue on him. Talked his way right out of the fight with the god-lion.” He gave Bast a serious look, his eyes hard as flint. “But that isn’t going to do him any good here.”

Jamie took another drink from the bottle before continuing. “You see, I’ve done some asking around. Your Kvothe has a bit of a reputation. Clever, quick. Devil with a sword. Strong as a bear. He can call down fire and lightning.” Jaime shook his head. “But I think all that is just stories. And the parts that aren’t just stories, he lost long ago.” He looked around the empty inn. “He wouldn’t be hiding here if he still had a scrap of power to call his own.”

Bast looked dejected, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’ll offer him a chance to surrender.” Jaime said magnanimously. “As thanks for this excellent bottle of wine.” He took one last drink and pushed it away from himself on the bar. “That’s enough of that. Start to turn my head, otherwise.”

“He might surprise you.” Bast said.

“With what?” Jaime said, laughing again. “That sword has dust on it, and his magic’s gone from what I hear. His silver tongue isn’t any good on me. He doesn’t even play music any more. What’s left?”

“I need to show you something,” Bast said. “Come here behind the bar.”

Jaime turned his shoulders, then frowned, looking down at his feet.

“Never mind,” Bast said, starting to walk around the bar. “I’ll come over to you.”

“Why can’t I move my legs?” Jaime said, his voice quiet and incredulous.

“Sethora,” Bast said simply. “It tends to start with the legs. You can probably still move your arms. But be careful or you’ll….” Jaime turned on his stool and toppled messily to the floor. “…Yeah. You’ll do that.”

Jaime writhed a bit, turning onto his side. Moving his arms sluggishly he managed to pull a long knife from his belt and throw it at Bast as came out from behind the bar. But the throw went wild and sunk into one of the thick-timbers of the tables.

Bast approached where the big man lay, stepping gracefully as a dancer. He stayed well out of arm’s reach through the man’s final struggles, waiting until he saw the tall man’s breathing grow stiff and labored.

“It was in the wine,” Bast stepped close and brushed the man’s golden hair out of his eyes. “I can’t believe you managed to drink so much of it. You must have the constitution of an ox.”

“But you…” Jaime’s mouth shaped the words though he lacked the breath to say them.

“You think I wouldn’t drink poison for him?” Bast asked. “Then you don’t know anything about him.”

Bast met the man’s glassy eyes. “You’re right. He’s not what he used to be. He’s lost everything. No magic. No music. No joy. No hope. You know what he has? You know what’s left?” Bast leaned closer, his voice low and vicious. “Me!” He practically spat the word, his eyes were wild. “He has me!”

The young man stood, took a fistful of the tall man’s golden hair, and began to drag his limp body across the floor.

So. so. awesome. Also? Rothfuss? Is pretty cool.

Oh Bast! I'll go dig up my copy of The Name of the Wind and post the section that made me fall in love with this book.

because i'm the only one who lies about my birthdate on lj

2010-03-22T07:09:15Z

WHEN WE FIRST MET I THOUGHT YOU WERE LIKE THIS

BUT AS I GOT TO KNOW YOU I REALIZED YOU WERE LIKE THIS

I LIKE EITHER VERSION ANYWAY AS LONG AS YOU'RE LIKE THIS

LOLOLOLOLOLOL SORRY HAD TO BE DONE BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE

PRECIOUS!MOMENTS!GREY

Happy birthday. You do not get a coupon because you get me to do whatever crap anyway :| even stepping up to mod against my better judgment.

there was this internet rumor that this was someone's birthday

2010-03-17T07:57:26Z

Sometimes I get amazed that I've known you as long as I have because there are times when it feels like hardly any time has passed at all. Like there's still so much we should playing and so many things I'm going to tell you to read and---

HAHAHA PSYCH. DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO GET SAPPY FOOLISH BOT?! HOW FOOLISH OF YOU TO LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. I MEAN. IT'S NOT LIKE I MISSED YOU WHILE YOUR NET WAS FINALLY SUCCUMBING TO ALL THE VIRUSES THAT A PORNMONGER BOT LIKE YOU MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT EXPOSED TO.

ANYWAY HERE ARE YOUR PRESENTS. YOU'D BETTER NOT HAVE PASSED OUT YET!!!

This one, you can use on me any time for fic / porn / MTD / project. Just whip it out like you whip your other it out when a loli is around and show it to me and I WILL SAY BE LIKE. OKAY YES. WE SHALL DO THIS.

Even if it's your weird furry stuff.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OKAY!

getting to know all about you.

2010-03-15T11:11:23Z

1) Why Izaya?

It's been my long-standing aim to find an antagonist-type character to play. And I MEAN YES, Lau is shady as fuck but technically he kindasortamaybe is allied with Ciel and Jeane lasted for like less than a month lmfao. I'm pretty sure I've harassed Evy like. Twice. Into helping me figure out a villain to app but I was always very Goldilocks about it like. Mega-picky. Particular about method and motivation. I didn't really want to go for the usual VILLAINOUS FIGHTER / KILLER because well um. Fight logs are hot but psychological warfare is what really gets me interested. Mindfuckery and whatnot. And motivation! I... was usually bored by what motivated the villain characters like AWWWW POWER. YEAAAAAAH TERRIBLE LIFE. SURPRAISE WELL-INTENTIONED EXTREMIST or w/e OR LIKE BAD BECAUSE BORN TO IT. Eurgh. And a little nuttiness would be great with chessmaster plotting skills.

Izaya hits all those buttons in just the right ways. Honestly I thought I'd end up liking Shizuo best and then I thought I'd like Kida the most but then Izaya was all I LOVE ALL OF HUMANITY ♥ and I was just. Sold. Usually with magnificent bastard types, it's more about disdain. That's the kind of mindset you have when you start treating people as pieces on a gameboard right? But that's a little washed out for me post-Geass. With Izaya... I think he does see himself as being outside the classification of a human... there's an element of GOD AMONG INSECTS but it isn't very strong. His love is genuine and completely fucking crazy and that's part of what's wonderful about him as a character because THERE IS MADNESS but there is also ruthlessly orchestrating gang wars just to prove a theory. So there's the DID IT FOR THE LULZ factor and I'd be lying if I said that his instant appeal for me wasn't his trollishness. The cellphone stomping was so beautifully epic and THE GETTING BORED WITH IT FIVE SECONDS LATER was derishus max.

And what I mentioned earlier. Method. I mean he can fight man but his best weapon is his information and dude knows how to use it and how to get it. I really love the whole Internet / real world Ikebukuro set-up the series has going and the way Izaya just works it is brilliant. What excites me most about him as a player is how that kind of savviness provides and challenges! me to go for more creativity when it comes to stirring shit. I have so many ideas already.

ETA:

2) How separate are your internet life and IRL life?

It's always been my guideline to keep my life as compartmentalized as possible, not just 'net / RL. I'm that way about school / home / work. Like... there's a running joke in my family about how I was going to see a movie with my sister one day when I was caught off-guard when I ran into a friend from school at Gateway. And this wasn't just a casual class acquaintance. This was a full-on someone I actively sought out to hang out with. And when we met at the mall I was like D: hey and FAILED TO HAVE LIKE MANNERS. OR ANYTHING. and like introduced them to each other. And afterwards my friend got mad because I stupidly told her "You're my college friend! So I... don't expect to see you out of college!"

I'm a fuckwit.

But that is how I like things like THESE PARTS OF MY LIFE SHOULDN'T INTERSECT otherwise it gets weird.

So now you know. THE RULES I HAVE BEEN BREAKING FOR YOU GUYS.

3) Thoughts on WaWars? Why'd you agree to mod with us anyway?

BECAUSE YOU ARE SHORT-TEMPERED AND PRONE TO TROLLING and apparently I WAS A VIABLE OPTION AS A VOICE OF REASON and I was beginning to panic at the kind of trouble you were going to run into. Also apparently people thought I was a co-mod already I mean jesus what is this I didn't even pimp the game in my journal and only once in plurk WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ASSUMING I MOD COMMS THAT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH AT ALL. Although both times now, I did eventually end up becoming a mod.

Anyway it's as simple as I saw you needed help and I thought I might be able to give it. Help share the load. Same reason why I help out with rps really.

4) What's your apping trend?

I have several? I think. More probably than I realize. I NEED RANGE.

❥ CRYPTIC DOUCHEBAGS: Lau, C.C., and Seth technically falls in this category because she is a douche Empress / Krsnik and hella cryptic when she is not talking about tea. And Hitagi too! Sort of? And Izaya of course.
❥ IDIOT SHOUNEN HEROOOOS: BOSSUN. AND BOSSUN. AND MORE BOSSUN. And Ao no Exorcist's Rin. THE GREAT SEALAND-KUN! Kazuki from di(e)ce? And Kucabara from Defense Devil! Kurosaki Mafuyu from Oresama Teacher counts despite being a girl BECAUSE SHE ROCKS THAT WAY. And Lucy a little because SHE'S GOT AWESOME GAR NAKAMA MOMENTS OKAY? Shut it.
❥ SADISTS (PREFERABLY LOLISHOTA): Evangeline A.K. McDowell. Mariya Shidou ♥~ kimi no mune kyun~! Mutsu Kokonose. HITAGI SENJOUGAHARA.
❥ TROLLS: IZAYA. HITAGI. EVANGELINE. APOLLO and did I mention Izaya?
❥ ECCENTRIC IRRESPONSIBLE CHARMERS: with boundary issues. Shawn Spencer and Neal Caffrey from Psych and White Collar respectively.

5) Compare LJ RP to something. Explain.

LJ RP is a starfish. I do not want to explain.

rp tl;dr! the return!

2010-02-15T11:35:31Z

s;dlfa;sldfk so swamped with rp this past week and with work on top of everything it's really been one thing or another. To the Poly people on my flist! I'm so sorry I wasn't able to tag very much with Ranka orz orz it kind of caught me by surprise so my schedule wasn't very free for it ldsfj but it was fun poking around while I could with her ♥

The Valentine's Day event really just means if I'm not drafting one post, I'm frantically trying to remember where I need to tag for another and I had to cram an app too for this round ldksfj next time I'm just going to take it... one character per event at a time I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU GUYS DO IT WITH YOUR MORE THAN THREE CHARACTERS AND MORE THAN ONE GAME AHHHHHHH.

lol when was the last time I did one of these? Um anyway I currently have (3) characters in Amat which I did the very simple math and fact-checking because THAT COULDN'T BE RIGHT but it's true. That is the most number of characters I have ever had in the same game. I always tried to stick with 2 because orz I get so very obsessive with just one so I kind of cycled between having one character to two. I also counted again and I've had (8) characters which is for srs the most I have ever had (more than Poly!). Um on the one hand impressive for a game that has me sdlkfjs :\ on the best of days but also very distressing because that means a pretty high turnover / drop rate... which is true. I've timed it, my characters have a lifespan of around 1-2 months. Less if I can't find anything to do with them which is a loooot.

HITAGI SENJOUGAHARA :: BAKEMONOGATARI :: tsundra
& game status: sob I'll be honest, there are days when I think about dropping her because I really feel that my activity is way too low to be participating properly in the game. I feel awful because I end up making my castmates wait on me a lot and I understand that... her presence in the game could definitely be limiting for them because she's such an extreme character that because my castmates are very considerate, they have to take her into account for stuff they do...

Some days it's very difficult because she's a character that demands focus because I really love her and how she's written and I don't want to tag just lazily and out of hand, you know? So her posts take a long time and her tags are very sporadic. But when I do get going with her voice, it just seems to write itself? I do have characterization notes I keep in mind when playing her but a lot of the time the responses come more naturally than I expected. She's a character I know for sure I overthink but at the same, I overthink her less than I thought I would be doing. Like Ange for example. I dropped her because I lacked confidence in my grasp of the canon and that affected my voice... but with Hitagi, it just sometimes feels very easy and I flat-out love the act of writing her voice. It's different from the outright TAG BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS approach I had when I was a newbie with Bossun but it's equally satisfying.

...sob I love her so much I'm half-afraid I'm becoming one of those roleplayers who end up over-identifying with their character. But I mean I don't think I'm anything like her, it's just very fascinating for me playing her because she's very unlike the character type I usually jive with? (see: Bossun. Shawn Spencer.) but it has the same kind of instant recognition that's like 'this character, i want to write this character'.

& crit: I do feel that my voice for her is fairly strong but only as a result of having great interactions and obsessive canon-review. I worry I'll end up getting overconfident and I'm extremely hyperworried about taking her out of her very defined comfort zone. She's got a very small number of people she interacts with and I'd like to try to get her out more but I'm just so :\ BAD at this. I'm also nervous over the playing choices I've made with the Valentine's Day event because I'm very :| at mun preferences pushing the character into OOC (which is weird considering that IT IS WITH HER CANONMATES) I worry about her being too extreme then I remind myself that she once threatened to assrape Araragi and then I think maybe I'm not being extreme enough!

I worry a lot.

I definitely think it's the reactions that really direct how I play Hitagi because they has to be unpredictable and surprising but at the same time, be a logical responses from her. dslfkjsdlfj this is why I don't tag a lot. Also she's a character I worry about how well people would take how... she is. :| but this is a worry I have with EVERYONE I HAVE EVER PLAYED.

ACTIVITY. Forever.

& plans: oh my god it is like with Bossun I HAVE AN ENDLESS LIST OF PLANS seriously I went and made a box just to store all my notes and drafts and oh my god I am a crazy person. I even have a schedule (because work :x)

I've been toying with the idea of applying for a goddess favor for an extreme... kind of... thing to do with her but to be honest I'm afraid of doing it. It's the kind of thing where if I mess up, I'd have to reset the character to fix it.
& other notes: I AM A FREAK, DO NOT PLAY WITH ME, PUT ME IN CHARGE OR ANYTHING OR LET ME NEAR YOUR LOVED ONES AT ALL.

NIWA GOROUZAEMON NAGAHIDE :: SENGOKU STRAYS :: liekmyboss
& game status: lskdjf HE HAS DONE NOTHING PRODUCTIVE. Seriously I basically sit on this character so I can play with the Strays crew. what is wrong with me
& crit: I am a circlejerker. also what the fuck his voice sounds nothing like in canon, someone crit me hardcore.
& plans: fapping. also canon refresher.
& other notes: My soul will be forfeit to Shini if I drop after nagging at her and nagging and nagging for Inuchiyo :|

CHUCK BARTOWSKI :: CHUCK :: nerdherded
& game status: I just got him wheeeeeeee! I am also terrified as fuck because I had no idea so many people knew the canon in the game and now I'm afraid I won't do him justice BECAUSE I DID NOT EVEN MTD HIM. I mean I didn't with Hitagi aside from some dear mun posts but that actually turned out well BUT OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING WHAT IS THIS.

I apped him to balance out Hitagi, because he'd be easier to socialize with in the game and because I fucking love Chuck so much right now.

& crit: I am an assface.
& plans: I HAVE TWO POSTS IN ADDITION TO HIS INTRO WRITTEN OUT. THIS BODES WELL I HOPE.
& other notes: I want a Sarah so bad :(

LOL YES THIS IS PURELY LIVE ACTION TV GABBLE

2010-02-10T10:11:21Z

dsjf fandom rundown i am sorry i promised to write more on this journal but the thing is my life is basically work + online + family/irl friends and I'm really not big on talking too much about my IRL things so like. ONLINE YAY.

Psych - I still love it, it's just that ever since the show started really pushing Shawn/Jules which I was never very interested in (I actually prefer Gus/Jules and Shawn/single life or Shawn/Abigail) I've been kind of cooling off towards it? I actually haven't seen any of the latest episodes yet because I'm going to marathon the crap out of them once the Olympics effectively kill my appointment (online) viewing lol. Burn Notice is getting the same treatment (marathon) but not the same attitude (BLERGH ROMANCE)

The Mentalist - I was really strongly for this show at first despite the lulz Psych ripoff but it's a little boring at times... like I really can't get invested in a lot of the cases and for me Jane and Cho basically carry the entertainment factor of the show. Still pretty solid though?

Castle - alkjsd just. amazing. It kind of falls under the procedural category but it's always very entertaining if only to listen to Nathan Fillion trade on dits with Beckett all day. sob I have an obvious type in my shows don't I? Eccentric consultant partnered up with a no-nonsense law enforcement officer. Everyone in this cast though is very strong and distinct I don't really feel like there's a token anything / anyone. This is one show I would have been fine if it had stayed strictly episodic but I do like that they're introducing elements of a larger arc to bring into play?

Lie to Me - ...got bored with it pretty early. Excited at first but Tim Roth couldn't save it for me :(

How I Met Your Mother - a little back and forth this season because GET TO THE MOTHER ALREADY but um it's such a corny thing to think but this is a show that I think is pretty definitive of the viewers watching it? So clever and funny and hilariously inappropriate (AM I A BAD DAD?)

White Collar - FLOVING THIS SHOW even if it means that Bryce Larkin should be considered DEAD FOR GOOD on Chuck :( It features some of the best relationships on a show I've seen a while, particularly between Neal and Peter and Peter and Elizabeth... It's such a charming show, a little glamorous in the crimes it tackles, with a definite mystery arc going on and a core dynamic that's strong but unpredictable. It's very fascinating watching how Neal and Peter deal with each other because despite everything there's a trust there but there's also an understanding that Neal is a con-man and Peter is a cop and sdklfjaslkdfjlskdjf IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT THE SLASH REALLY I kind of full-on OT3 Neal/Peter/Elizabeth because Elizabeth is so awesomely supportive of both of them and she really knows how to handle them both?

Holding off on the latest ep for Olympic week withdrawal

Community - skdljf;laksdjf competing with Better Off Ted for my favorite comedy at the mo' Joel McHale, community college, sharp dialogue, hilarious group dynamics that are always changing up? More please! I'll even put up with Jeff/Britta!

Better Off Ted - okay I lied. Better Off Ted still wins over Community, primarily due to Portia de Rossi killing every week with her Veronica (...what can I say? I'm a sucker for Veronicas) My humor does tend to the zany and the R&D hijinx (THEY TOOK AN INNOCENT PANDA AND TURNED IT INTO AN ASSASSIN) is the funniest fucking stuff ever. But two dollar prostitutes have been treated better than this show on ABC (seriously? burning off all those episodes? DO YOU HATE ME? ABC? DO YOU HATE ME AND ALL THE SHOWS I LOVE????) so um. I'm already breaking my heart to ease into the SMASHING IT WILL ENDURE when my doom bitch kills it for good AUGH

Glee - Uneven, loving it, kind of weak at times but while it was on nothing brightened my day faster. F'realz.

Dollhouse - I'M A DOOM BITCH AND I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR KILLING THIS SHOW SO I WILL PUNISH MYSELF BY NOT WATCHING THE LAST TWO EPISODES. Also the Topher spoilers I've read makes me sad :(

Life Unexpected - only caught the pilot, very strongly family-oriented but full of complications so not much schmoop, plenty of sass and bawwing. Another one I'm stockpiling for effing tv hibernation

CHUCK - After a perfect second season, Chuck was coming into this year's TVthoning as my favorite and uh. I AM HOPEFUL AND I AM GOING TO WAIT AND SEE because I trust the creators and writers who gave us the second season and believe they know where they are going with this. I'm excited with what they did the Intersect 2.0 because I just rewatched 1 and 2 for canon review and feel that this really was an inevitable progression that they were brave enough to take this early. Don't get me wrong. They do the whole Hapless Chuck really well and I think they could have kept on for another half or full season with that but all through the second season, you could tell that the show and the character had a direction it was headed to. I love that they can do episodic stuff and still present a very definite story that is being told.

I'm a little biased when it comes to Chuck which I'm sure a lot of fans are especially with the impressive way the community came together to save the show (DISCLAIMER: I didn't participate being that my Subway stores here... sob aren't able to participate in the effort I mean I tried? But they just looked at me funny I am sorry for being from a third world country?!) and it's developing into one of the more fascinating creator/fandom relationships I've seen and I've spectated to a lot, since I tend to lean to fandoms that do end up forming a lot of strong um? Ties? to the creators. LOL ANY Joss fandom ever, Veronica Mars, now Chuck? It's interesting seeing how both factions learn from each other and when it's a supportive relationship as it was in the second season... it's a beautiful thing to see.

(Also I find it interesting that Josh Schwartz objects to the term 'shippers')

I'll gabble about my post-season wrap-ups after I complete my canon review

ALSO YES I AM APPING CHUCK BARTOWSKI SHHHHHH

(after all my months of kicking around with a Shawn journal I AM SORRY PSYCH I FEEL LIKE A FAITHLESS GIRLFRIEND)

SOME READING: Episode 7 of Chuck's Season 3 had some major backlash. Chris Fedak and Josh Schwartz offer one of the most graceful but still standing their ground responses I've seen. Love it. I'm usually a little leery at the whole fandom -> creator influence aspect of the whole thing but this is really great to see from them

Next post I will ramble like. About Durarara!!, Bakemonogatari and rp.

デュラララ!!

2010-01-26T05:08:41Z

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN IKEBUKURO.
WATCH DURARARA!!
GIF CREDIT TO ispeakpew

a resolution to post more in my journal. i had it. but for now a meme!

2010-01-18T10:33:01Z

1. Where and when did you start RPing?

...oh fuck I can't even remember really? I feel like I've been roleplaying forever. There have been instances where we ended up reminiscing about days of yore back when domain names were the IN thing, everyone was on blogger.com or like. Pitas. And mailing lists! Honestly, I think I've been roleplaying for as long as I've been on the Internet (which means since I was like... my god. 10? 12?) I'd have to say that my earliest roleplaying experience would be in those weirdass Yahoo! chatrooms. God I remember those. JAVA CHATS LOLOLOL. Go to the 'Arts and Entertainment' section and you'd look through chatroom names, and usually pop into stuff that's named like THE DARKE TAVERNE or some such crap. I was a total noob but also an actual girl on the Internet (?!) so I got asked for my bra size and taught about auto-hits and crap and you had to make more and more accounts just to get ridiculous names like Lord Darkfyrestalkerwind Chaosrune.

Jesus I was young.

After that things get blurry, so I believe I ended up joining some mailing list RPs (sci-fi / fantasy-oriented again!) and uh this Flame of Recca OC one. For the most part though, I was more fanfic-oriented in my early internet fandom days.

2. Do you RP anywhere other than LJ?

/points to the answers above

EVERYWHERE. NAME IT I MIGHT HAVE TRIED IT. MAILING LISTS. FORUMS. YAHOO CHAT. AIM CHAT. UH. OTHER PEOPLE'S GUESTBOOKS (OH GOD REMEMBER THOSE?!) OC RP. HARRY POTTER RP. ANIME RP. UTENA RP. YAOI RP. HARRY POTTER OC RP. Then I wandered between Livejournal and then I kind of semi-permanently moved to Greatestjournal in its heyday. That was primarily OC rp (...I think I was even in a smut OC rp once) and uh. Celeb.

DON'T JUDGE ME. I PLAYED AN AWESOME JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND EVA GREEN.

Also Sienna Miller.

SHUT UP.

3. Do you play in any public games?

Uh yes. I think the only non-public games I've played at are Amat right now and certain mailing lists and forums. Of course you had to be a member to read those.

Right now since I'm only at Amat no. I'd like to branch out of it again but so lazyinertiaaaa

4. Do you prefer first-person comment spam or prose logging?

Sob until LJ multifandoms I was primarily playing through prose logging. Over AIM. AUGH GJ.

But even back when I was on GJ some of my best times were through commentspam. The... GJ set-up rarely lent itself to that because the format back then was to write some long tl;dr thoughtful entry about life, memories, some other random related bullshit.

Oh OC games.

But when I ran my own game, definitely the interaction leaned to comment-spamming. Oh The Factory RP and Sedgwick. How I miss you.

5. What was the first character you ever played?

I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER I'M SURE IT WAS SOME HORRIBLE YAHOO CHAT OC NAMED SOMETHING LIKE KAELYN ASHFALLWIDDERSHINS

6. Who's your favorite character to play now and why?

Oh sob why are you getting me started on this. Hitagi definitely because she is just such an amazing character and it's always such a fun process trying to come up with her most IC but also most unexpected reaction to things.

However if you look back on my previously played character list... one name jumps out as having been apped a lot. Seth orz I guess no matter how try I really feel like I've never fully written all the potential she has as a character.

Other times I wander between characters, like some of the easiest voices for me to slip into other than Seth and Hitagi would be... Bossun and Shawn Spencer. orz my life what are you.

7. What's the longest you've ever consistently played one character?

........idk how long did I have Bossun? Bossun probably! And maybe Hitagi now. I have a piss-poor character retention track record.

8. What's your biggest RP pet peeve?

ummmm idk. OH WAIT I DO. When OOC influences IC stuff? None of that blurring of OOC wank but it's like... okay I love crack but sometimes I think the crack is just like THE MUNS WANT TO DO IT I WILL STICK MY CHARACTER WITH SO AND SO FOR THIS EVENT WITHOUT RHYME OR REASON. Like I love crack I do! But at least try to develop it or something or write it so it has consistency with your character. I need dinner.

I will elaborate on this if asked? I'm not explaining it very well.

9. Do you read RP secrets and the RP anon meme?

L-lol I'm a low-profile ninjamod of RPS? I don't really have the time to follow anon meme while it's going on so most of the time I look at threads I'm specifically linked to. But a month after if I had free time? I'd page through. So fucking huge though.

10. If you've played in public before, do you prefer community based or journal based games?

UH. I don't have a preference. Community-based is good for recycling journals, tracking activity etc. etc. but I guess it's a leftover from my GJ days that I also enjoy keeping my shit in my character's journal. Oh if you could see what I see in my character accounts. The private-locked crap there.

11. Would you rather play with someone who's very very IC but a mediocre writer or someone who isn't always IC (but not terrible) and a great writer?

I'd play with both, I don't care. Yes that's not the question.

12. Do you have a "RP partner"?

Nope! Sometimes I wish I had one? I'm a little envious of the idea of having someone with whom you have fantastic writing chemistry with and the kind of output I see from my friends who do have partners is pretty amazing. But at the same time, I think I'm too capricious a player and writer to keep up a relationship like that. And tbh those seem very pairing-oriented to me and while I have pairings... I'm not sure I like playing in a vacuum? I'd want the larger and more dynamic context of a game otherwise I'd probably get bored.

13. Do you ever stalk any casts, games, or players? Who?

HOW DO PEOPLE HAVE THE TIME. EVEN BEFORE I HAD WORK I JUST. I DON'T.

I'm selfish and conceited and the only people I follow would be my castmates and characters mine had CR with which necessitates stalking...

And generally I love reading the stuff of my friends and writers I look up to. I say writers not players in this case because oh I am gay for language.

14. In your opinion, which part of an app is the most difficult/annoying?

HISTORY. FUCK THAT SHIT. I think the main reason why I won't budge from Amat is because I can link out for the history BECAUSE FUCK ITTTTT. I rehash the history in the personality section anyway.

I tl;dr on personality and third person and my rule of thumb is that I won't app someone if the first thing I write for their app isn't the first person. No voice, no love.

15. Are you one of those people who has to customize their character's journal layout and userinfo?

Um. Sometimes? Default layouts are kinda fug. and uh userinfo gay is also spillover from GJ days...

16. What was your first game?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

17. Are there any canons you avoid tagging characters from?

No, I don't think so?

18. Most memorable scene in any thread?

This will change on any given day but I've been on a Rivetama nostalgia ride so uh. THIS ONE. Eeeeee rivetama I love you so. Also it had fainn's Hijikata.

19. Do you RP sex?

Lol I've written sex scenes before but not for LJ multifandoms no.

HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK I AM IN A SEX GAME WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Handwaving my friends. And understanding canonmates / cr-mates.

20. Do you play more males or females?

Not that I've noticed. It just has to do with the canon that I'm feeling I guess?

21. What *won't* you RP?

Any furry-related thing Shini and Qing ask.

22. Dressing rooms: yes or no?

Oh! I think I've only ever played in one letsfightingruv and that was just to mess around with the Rivetama crew. Fun.

23. Ever RPed a pairing?

Canon? Yes. Very rarely though. Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls back in GJ and um. I guess now Hitagi and Araragi? Crossover or non-canon... zilch so far for LJ multifandoms. :)

24. Favorite place to play: musebox, open posts, public games, private games?

muse_test_drive!

25. Talking RP with someone else who plays your character: fun or awkward?

DELICIOUS FUN. Well if it were someone I really looked up to for how they play the character I'd be hella intimidated and be like dlkfjaslkdjf but at the same time, it'd be awesome? I really enjoy hashing our characterization opinions and details like C.C. stuff with Qing. I get askdfasjdfh when I see other people playing the same characters that I do because I tend to go for the obscure so it's part excitement and part OH NO. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

...and sometimes they have my icons =_= please stop doing that if I tagged them with my username that means I made them specifically for the character's account. they are ugly. why do you want themmmm. and some of them are gifts from people. and really THEY AREN'T POSTED ANYWHERE SO HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND THEM. DOES THIS MEAN YOU LOOK AT MY JOURNAL? NOOOOO DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEEEE I'M DIRTY.

:)

So there's a mix of territoriality there but I know that for the fail it is. Also I do believe that everyone brings something different to how they play a character and that'd be fascinating to read... when I'm not playing the character anymore so I can't like. Allow my portrayal to be influenced lololol srs bznz.

Of course there are days when I get all NO BUT I USED TO BE THE ONLY _____ ON LJ (THAT I KNEW OF!) so at least I don't get caught up in the weird race to be THE BEST ______ ON LJ (THAT PEOPLE KNOW OF)

Or do I.

In other news, my love for this icon in no way makes me a furry.

happy birthday!

2009-12-15T19:46:53Z

happy birthday tinybird!
obviously ganked from pixiv. i can't draw to save my life

senpai + kouhai combo ftw.

2009-11-21T07:19:16Z

[15:12] elraine: MIA ARE YOU AVAILABLE FOR AN AFTERNOON OF WATCHING SOMETHING PAINFUL THAT WILL MAKE YOU WONDER AT THE DEGRADATION HUMAN BEINGS SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO?
[15:13] miir: ARE WE WATCHING NEW MOON

[15:14] elraine: ARE YOU AVAILABLE FOR AN AFTERNOON OF WATCHING SOMETHING PAINFUL THAT WILL MAKE YOU WONDER AT THE DEGRADATION HUMAN BEINGS SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO?
[15:15] greyrook_22: twilight?
[15:15] greyrook_22: sure

Sometimes I love my combotachi.

When they aren't putting monsters in my cake or planning and condoning selling me off to organ traders.

A SRS POLL NEEDING YOUR ATTENTION

2009-10-16T07:47:32Z

So like. queen_qing and evocates are planning on coming over here to the Philippines and being the ~~magnificent troll~~ that I am, I came up with an absolutely fool-proof, guaranteed-to-create-natsukashii-memories welcoming gesture for them. In the grand tradition of my family, to win your loved ones' affection and attention you must DANCE FOR IT. LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.

And I plan on persuading, coercing, blackmailing, possibly drugging miir and greyrook_22 and any netling who lives in the Philippines who is dumb enough to give me their contact information to do it. But hey. I don't want you feel like you're going to miss out on all the fun. YOUR VOICE WILL BE HEARD. YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT I HUMILIATE EVERYONE INVOLVED WI--- i mean. ENTERTAIN EVERYONE WITH.

CHEERIOS' DOING SAY A LITTLE PRAYER ON GLEE

BETTER QUALITY HERE!

PROS: SHORT. LIKE. 52 SECONDS LONG?
CONS: no cheerleading outfit. no way. no how. choreography is perfect for 3 people which means IF SOMEONE WUSSES OUT it's fucked.

MEGUMI NAKAJIMA'S BE MYSELF

PROS: i died from moe. SIMPLE MOVES JESUS.
CONS: i'm not sure if i can rock a santa hat. tiring for the arms. long :(

WONDER GIRLS' NOBODY

PROS: :D?
CONS: if this option wins i'm pretty sure mia will kill me. too effin' long. choreo for 5 people can be fixed BUT THAT'S A LOT OF WORK FOR SOMETHING I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR.

View Poll: #1471910

...because there was this one guy i didn't know who voted on the plurk one. HOW ARE THEY FINDING ME???

LOL SRS POST. wherein the cards have been layeth on the table.

2009-10-10T07:48:28Z

lol upheaval. Anyway! Still working through it so this is like Part 1! I've been getting this desperate feeling of like wanting to just cut my losses and move to another journal but I'm shallow and a.) like this username and b.) have paid time!

I will get around to like actually. Explaining myself and my issues eventually but um. Please be patient. I need to sort it out my way. So actually what this post really is... is something I never thought I'd do? Flist-cuuuuut. Because I do want to get back to using this again properly. So this um... a free pass to take me off your flist? If you're like wondering "who is this strange person I never see them post".

But if for some reason you want to stay on or keep me or... how do people do these things anyway. Please answer:

I rarely friendslock my posts so you don't... need to add me to read my stuff. This journal will likely contain: fandom squeeing, talking about roleplay, occasional srs topic, obnoxious sparkles and gifs, recs, quotes, failure. Again there's no need to add me to read any of that.

So. If you want to stay on, let's talk! Please tell me why you'd want to stay on. Who am I to you?

I guess I got into the habit of... well yes yes we all know LJ flist =/= actual friendships but... it's my flist and I want to define mine that way! I got into accepting how... one dimensional fandom-based acquaintances can be. And of making myself one-dimensional always asking if what I'm posting would be /relevant/ to anyone's interests. And I'm not saying having connections based on fandom or roleplay is a bad thing! That's where deeper friendships start from? But it doesn't take anything away from the fun of strictly fandom friendships. That's no less genuine. But I guess I'd like... to have that clear. On where we stand with each other I guess?

So um please comment! Let's talk. All comments screened if you want to retain privacy or you can ping me on heart keeps time.

No matter what, I am incredibly grateful for everything you've shared with me and thankful that you let me share things with you too.

ETA: sob I'm aware this seems dramatic but this is for the ultimate goal of less! drama! tl;dr the people i want to spend hours online with are people i want to know are my friends or think of me as friends or i at least know what expectations they have of me. I don't like losing hours being angry or resentful or whining about so-and-so because things are unclear. That's not the person I want to be and it's not fair to others either.

No burnt bridges this way okay? Again. I'm grateful.

time for some obnoxious sparkles or in which i have returned.

2009-09-30T22:20:13Z

I HAVE INTERNET

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY... because they're the ones who really suffered. Let me see, water started coming at around 3 or 4 PM in the afternoon and you guys should know. We've never been flooded in before. There's actually a river close by but my whole freaking life I've only had to contend with floods in other places (lol Manila) and NEVER in our village. The water came in slowly at first and my family thought that ankle deep was as bad as it was going to get.

It wasn't.

At its height, the flooding in our house reached to the top of our dining table, our refrigerator actually like. FLOATED. on the water (according to my brother). At the time, my older sister and I were out of the house (she was at her grad classes and I was at work. yes on a Saturday FML but uh that turned out to be a lucky thing so NOTFML) so the people at home were my mom, dad, younger brother and family helper. ...evacuation went quickly. They carried the major appliances up first and then the smaller stuff, like my books, my brother's game CDs etc. Since we stockpile a shitload of plastic bags they just shoved all our stuff in. What's kiiind of sweet and ironic is that my brother was so intent on saving my books (knowing the aneurysm I would have) that he neglected to save his school stuff... which got soaked and he now spends hours blowdrying. (he's already graduated so it's not like SEPPUKU-INDUCING but for records and stuff). Since they were running out of time, they left most of the major furniture up to the flood gods to take or keep as they will.

They lost power the rest of the night (and until uh. Sunday night actually?), cockroaches were swarming the place, my dad got bruised all over and um it was a near thing since he has a heart condition and... well. Something nearly happened when he was trying to save our dogs. My mom was on the phone trying to get ahold of me and my sister and yelling at us to stay somewhere else. They had to close up all the windows to keep said cockroaches from seeking like refuge IN OUR HOUSE so that was like a suffocating and hellish night for them.

As for my sister... well her grad classes are in Manila and PLM basically showed like no concern for them lol (other schools were already telling their students to stay on school grounds instead of GOING OUT INTO THE POURING RAIN AND NEWS OF FLOOD) and uh. she ended up having to wade through flood water, walk for AGES and fight through growing panic and stress (because she was getting soaked yo) and she still had NOWHERE to stay. Finally my mom was able to arrange for her to stay with a family friend who lives in like. Crud I don't remember the name of the subdivision... near Siena College ANYWAY. Lol and she slept in the room of one of their recently deceased relatives and my mom and said family friend were like "Are you going to be okay in there :D hope she doesn't haunt you :D" and she was like "YOU GUYS ARE NOT HELPING." but she was so tired from that harrowing experience that she just went out like a light.

Yeah my account is rather vague since I got it a day after it all went down. I was, as you might have already read, crashing at a hotel close to work.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME... I WAS INCREDIBLY LUCKY. I HAVE THE LUCK OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE INCREDIBLY DUMB BUT MANAGE TO SURVIVE WHERE ALL THE SMART PEOPLE HAVE DIED OUT. AND YES I KNOW MY PRIORITIES ARE MESSED UP STOP LAUGHING NYADETH. With that out of the way... I was at work from 6:00 AM to 2:30 PM which means I was indoors, with no idea what's going on outside for the better part of the day. I saw it was raining out when I was on my breaks but my experience of storms and typhoons in this area was that rainfall like that without like howling windspeeds isn't quite as bad! We've rode out worse! And yes i know that is so wrong it's so unfunny that it's gone right back to being funny. Anyway it was near the end of my shift that news from outside started coming in, lots of my coworkers were stranded everywhere, some of them weren't even able to leave our building because they couldn't find a passable road, my operations manager asked me and Howie (a teammate of mine) if we would be alright to go home and if we wanted to render overtime (which is something that's only done when there's like insane queueing for calls!) I was kind of lolwut to this because I'd spent the latter half of my shift fagging around since there were hardly any calls coming in. (I later on found out that this was because the agents for the opening shift were already calling in to say that they couldn't come in), my own team leader was SLEEPING at his station because he couldn't go home and so were others... oh and we got moved from our usual stations because there was water coming into another call center nearby.

now a smart person might have started putting all this together and been like GADZOOKS. THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO HELL. I? Am as previously established dumber than a box of rocks. But in my defense, I didn't know all of this at the time, I had like ZERO experience with floods so I just... couldn't wrap my mind around things being so bad. Cubao and Araneta Center (which is where my office building is) was getting hit with hard rainfall but that was it. No floods, no traffic... (see that was what I thought was happening. Flood reaching up to tires of cars and traffic stalling... that was the worst I've ever encountered) so imagine my surprise when I check my phone getting ready to leave work and my mom is telling me that I'd better find a hotel close by and check in there and not even attempt to go home.

Again. the thing about me being dumb? So true. My reaction was like lololol mom y so srsly overreacting but okay... wait you know hotels are expensive right? what seriously ALL the roads aren't passable? ...okay but tell you what, I'll hang around here until 6 PM to see if things get any better (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA --- Your Future Self) and if the roads are still jammed with traffic then I'll stay at work. My mother's reaction? /FACEPALM OVER THE CELL SIGNAL and like HOW DID I RAISE SUCH A TERMINALLY CLUELESS CHILD. And uh commence yelling. So I was like OKAY I'LL GO LOOK AT A HOTEL NOW D:

Now I'm dumb but I do have some ancient self-preservation instinct so THAT was when I was starting to go like... holy shit something is going terribly wrong outside (but at this point again the worst I thought was the roads were a wee bit flooded, there was hellish traffic and my family were cut off) so I get Howie to direct me to a hotel (Eurotel) which was like just a 5 minute walk or so away from where I work (if you don't fag around Gateway) and we were like :D... so what do we do now... I might go see a movie... O WAIT. TEXT MIA ABOUT RPS SINCE I MIGHT NOT GET HOME IN TIME TO DO IT. (shhhh) but the lemming instinct prevailed and I went to go take care of the hotel thing first. (The lemming instinct being "I will never hear the end of it if I don't book a room now, the worst happens and they have no vacancy and MY MOM FINDS OUT) Good thing too because when I /GOT/ to the hotel they had a number system set up SO MANY PEOPLE WERE IN THE LOBBY /SCREAMS

That was when things started coming together for me, sitting dripping wet smooshed on one couch together with these two other women telling me how bad things were outside. And then I got a look at the room rates (1.5K FOR 1 STANDARD ROOM FOR 12 HOURS AHHHHHH) and I placed a call to my mom going like NO MONEYS and she was like CHARGE IT TO YOUR CARD YOU IDIOT CHILD I'M NOT GOING TO OBJECT TO THE AMOUNT NOW and I was like YOU SAY THIS NOW BUT I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT and she was like IF ONLY I HAD THE POWER TO REACH THROUGH THIS CELLPHONE AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO YOU THERE IS WATER COMING INTO THE HOUSE.

...to be continued because it is depressing me how dumb i am

reports of my internet death :(

2009-09-27T07:16:58Z

If you're not on my plurk and was (for some reason) concerned: I'm okay! Stranded at work but at least I didn't like. Drown. House got flooded in but it isn't as bad... as other places. May not have 'net at home for a while but at least I can actually go home now.

WATCH GLEE!

2009-09-24T09:25:05Z

no seriously. why aren't you watching this show yet?

update on the schedule situation:

2009-09-04T11:48:03Z

...so for the next two weeks i'll be working from 11:00 PM to 7:30 AM (more or less!) Manila time which is like. 11:00 AM to 7:30 PM EST. Apparently the system used by the workforce people like... refreshed and didn't load the schedule preferences properly.

I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays which means I have to sleep during the day, wake up after like 3 hours of sleep, run (drive!) to class, go home, catch another like. 4 hours of sleep and still put in an 8 hour shift at work later that night.

fuck my life

I actually had to say the words "whispering eye" at work.

fuck my life

Could be worse though.

elraine @ 2009-09-02T18:40:00

2009-09-02T10:45:21Z

I was going to do a witty "An Open Letter to the Inaptly Named Service Assurance Department at Work" but I am too. cheesed. off.

So you know how I'm working full-time and studying? Yeah that is my life. How am I able to balance it (and not quite well, might I add)? Because I applied for scheduling preference at work (which would otherwise stick me in whatever shitty slot namely 12 MIDNIGHT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK CRAPASS SCHEDULE LANDS TO BOTTOMFEEDING TEAMS LIKE I GOT MYSELF IN), my days off at work are on the days I have my classes. This arrangement was supposed to continue until the end of the semester.

It is the beginning of September.

The semester here is not over.

But next week? Rather than the schedule I spent nearly two weeks processing paperwork for?

I GET A CRAPASS SCHEDULE OF 11:30 PM TO 7 AM which I didn't get to check properly due to the blinding rage but I'm pretty sure would mean I would need to split my sleeping hours yet again holy incoherent rage batman!

I can't cope with that.

Bitch is gonna get tenderly disputed.

she's just incredible math.

2009-08-26T10:06:16Z

...what do you mean that doesn't explain anything?

WELL FUCK CONTEXT ANYWAY.

But seriously, lemme see, those two are koi♥bito desu and he just got done getting fucked up by her ex-friend with a psycho crush. Fortunately, HE's got this souvenir of supaahealing abilities from like when he was a vampire so he's like I'LL BE FINE, I JUST GOTTA LIE HERE AND HEAL A BIT.

AND THEN THE ABOVE HAPPENS.

I cannot even begin to express how much I LOVE THIS GIRL

Episode aired days ago but ~~I just needed to wait for the anime bloggers to post the relevant screencaps~~ my heart just couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Different conclusions are reached when one fact is viewed from two separate points of view. When that happens, there is no immediate way to judge which point of view is the correct one. There is no way to conclude one's own conclusion is the correct one. But for that exact reason, it is also premature to decide one's own conclusion is wrong."

HNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH

War is not hell. War is a chocolate box selection, an after-Christmas Best of compilation of hells.

2009-08-24T10:15:58Z

The one thing I love about my work is how it gives me an insane amount of time to read (without actually being paid to read) which... honestly I haven't been able to do half as much as I used to when I really got into RP'ing.

...of course this means i've been going through a fuckton of books and whittling away at my hefty salary JUST FROM HAVING TO BUY BOOKS TO READ WHILE I'M AT WORK. WHICH ENSURES THAT I MUST CONTINUE AT THIS JOB FOR I AM SAVING HARDLY ANY MONEY.

It's a cycle. Anyway on to the real point of this post.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE READING The Gone-Away World by NICK HARKAWAY RIGHT NOW

"All right then. So, you are fucked. Am I right?" Ronnie Cheung waves to indicate that I should respond.

"Yes, Ronnie, you are."

"Yes, I am. You are fucked. You are desirous of getting unfucked. Unfucking is considerably more difficult than fucking. The Second Law of ther-mo-dynamics---because if you were thinking even for a minute that you are better educated than I am and therefore superior, Bumhole, you were mistaken---does not look with kindness upon unfucking. The level of fuckedness in a system always increases unless something acts on it from the outside. Worse yet, Bumhole, you do not own your own fuckedness. You do not appreciate the fullness of the fucking which has happened to you. You cannot hope to amend your situation without knowing what it is."

.../waits for someone to fucking turn this into a shit-ass movie adaptation

what is the last honest thing you've written?

2009-08-17T13:22:42Z

Actual account of Tatsie Day! after this but I need to get this out before my innate tsuntsun-ness takes over.

It's the simple gestures that get to me.

Because they... they aren't small to me. Or it's that it's something you regard as inconsequential, as something you just impulsively decided to do 'just because'. That is what staggers me about people.

Do you even know how much it... knocks me off balance when people do things as simple as saying they want to meet me and then going out of their way to do it. To seeing something and then thinking that it reminds them of me or thinking it'd be something I'd like and then sending it over. No special occasion or anything. They aren't nothing to me, really. They're a something actually that's why I just completely fail at communicating how grateful I am for that, for what you do, for that small thing, for being thought of even in that small thing.

'It's the thought that counts'... that's not really just some cliché to me. Because for me, the thought counts for everything. Why would you want to see me? Why would you want to spend time with me? Why would you think of me? And don't get me wrong, I don't think of these things in a self-pitying way! I don't really know how to explain it. It's not that I have low self-esteem. I do think I'm a generally swell person. My first impulses are to kindness, to wanting to help, to wanting to make people happy. But I'm also selfish. I'm extremely selfish though I don't think it's in a very malicious or hurtful way. But it's the sort of selfishness where I'm absolutely anchored in my own experience, in my own head. Maybe that's why these... small acts get to me that way. Because why would you want to spend time with me outside of the gathering of chat? Why would you think of me past my immediate presence?

I'm still not explaining it very well am I? I don't have my usual facility with words for this. It's been a while since I've written anything honest.

I guess it's sort of... this LJish mindset. I'm comfortable with a small flist because the people on it are people I'm comfortable with. I don't feel like I have to censor myself or if my inane shit is something anyone would care about. But then the larger it gets the more awkward I feel. What is with my issue about censoring myself when almost all my posts are public anyway? When I mostly talk about fandom and rp? But it turns out it isn't about what I say or how I'm saying it, but where. I'll be on people's flists. My inane shit will turn up, take up space between community posts and flocked posts of things people choose to reveal under filter. It's like the intrusion of that small bit of my life in that space of yours. Why would anyone care?

My answer, the answer that finally occurred to me after today technically isn't an answer at all.

Because again it was about me.

I'm such a selfish girl.

It's not about whether I'm taking up space, whether my inane shit is something you'd want to read or not.

It's that you've made room for me.

Thank you for the space.

So this is a thank you to everyone on my flist. Thank you to everyone in chat.

Thanks especially to Rizu for the just because.

Thanks especially to Nyadeth for the asking when even I'd forgotten.

Thanks especially to Tatsie and Grey for today.

TATSIE DAAAAAAAAAAAY!

2009-08-16T13:12:14Z

COUNTDOWN TO TATSIE-DAY
★ DATE: AUGUST 17, 2009. MONDAY
★ MEET UP TIME: 2:30 - 3:00 PM
★ LOCATION: GATEWAY at the ARANETA CENTER, the Araneta Coliseum groundfloor starbucks place thinger.
★ BUT!: If I'm able to duck out of work early, but I can't make any promises at all. Will text on my lunch break and/or last fifteen minute break to let you guys know if I'll be able to leave work early or if we should stick with meeting up at 2:30
★ ACTIVITIES: catch a movie possibly The Proposal, depending on what's airing. May grab a snack beforehand depending on the schedule. Will have late/proper/early dinner at Burgoo afterwards.
★ HOW TO SPOT ME: I will be loser wearing a gigantic faded dusky rose jacket of indeterminate color because wtf is dusky rose.
★ VERDICT!: never trust erie to plan things.

GUYS GUYS ARE YOU READY? ARE THESE ARRANGEMENTS OKAY? SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE!!!

haruki murakami, sputnik sweetheart

2009-08-09T10:47:05Z

"And it came to me then. That we were wonderful traveling companions, but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal on their own separate orbits. From far off they look like beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they're nothing more than prisons, where each of us is locked up and alone, going nowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we'd be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing."

That paths cross at all is a reason to welcome the fate of burning.

Solitude cannot be absolute as long as memory intrudes.

if i die, it will be at their hands, know this my loved ones

2009-08-05T11:50:31Z

[19:45] greyrook_22: \o\ my side is now one giant Filipino telenovela meme
[19:46] miir: throw in um
[19:46] miir: enchanted bird things
[19:46] elraine: adarna :(
[19:46] elraine: THE HIGH PRIEST
[19:46] greyrook_22: *A* someone's special summon
[19:46] elraine: READS THE PATTERN
[19:46] elraine: FROM BIRD SHIT
[19:46] greyrook_22: NO
[19:46] elraine: /POINTS
[19:46] elraine: DO IT
[19:46] greyrook_22: NO
[19:46] elraine: EVERY DAY HE STANDS
[19:46] greyrook_22: there is no pattern in goo
[19:46] elraine: WAITING TO GET POOPED ON
[19:46] greyrook_22: D||||
[19:46] elraine: IT IS IN THE CONSISTENCY
[19:46] greyrook_22: even if he gets pooped on
[19:46] miir: NO
[19:46] miir: DAMMIT
[19:46] greyrook_22: it will not
[19:46] elraine: WHEN IT DRIES
[19:46] miir: WHAT THE HELL
[19:46] greyrook_22: cure his blindness
[19:46] miir: WHAT THE HELL
[19:46] miir: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
[19:46] greyrook_22: DX
[19:47] elraine: /giggling
[19:47] greyrook_22: stop giving him false hope!!!!!!!
[19:47] miir: /CRYING