I am not one for resolutions. I am one for intention.

Every year, I pick a word of the year on my birthday, a compass heading, a reset button, an arrival, and a destination all in one word. I love the process of finding the right word (oh, how I love the right words), especially the challenge of finding one that is adaptable to mean enough distinct things to be helpful in all kinds of circumstances.
A couple of years ago, the word was MAKE; last year, it was prophetically VOICE, although CRASH would have been a strong contender. This year I have picked…. (drumroll here)

ALLOW

A couple of weeks in, ALLOW is proving to be a word well worth committing to.

People’s plans change? ALLOW.

Feeling myself getting worked up about someone else’s choices? ALLOW.

Feeling worked up about my own? ALLOW

Longing for joy? ALLOW

Stifling my sadness? ALLOW.

Missing my mom? ALLOW.

An opportunity comes along. ALLOW.

My kids are in their 20s, and ALLOW is the perfect way to describe parenting emerging adults. And being married. And being a friend. And menopause. And car crashes. And my voice issues.

And it works in reverse, which makes it an especially strong word of the year. There are plenty of things NOT to ALLOW in times such as these. So much to stand up for, stand against, stand with. All with determining what we will and will not ALLOW at the center of deciding where and how to act.

This year I am 50. I am in love with this milestone. When I was 25, I was very sick, near-death experience level sick. (That is a whole story and a whole chapter in my book.) I have spent the last 25 years dealing with fallout from that illness while simultaneously creating an amazing, beautiful, wild ride of a life. Starting borrowed time at 25 basically means my entire adult life has been nothing short of a bucket list.

Now I am fifty years old. One down, two to go. Because 150 years seems like just the right amount of time to do all the things, with all the people, in all the places, this bucket list is long and still growing.

All that to say, I am tired—and inspired. And feel like this 50th birthday might ALLOW for something new, a softer touch with my life, and a lot more room for grace.

ALLOW might need to be my next tattoo.

For the next 50-100 years, I am allowing. I hope you are too.