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[ 6.1.05 at 3pm ] |
Hung out on campus today. It was fun. Ran into a bunch of people who i love dearly. Even though some friendships as of late have been tense, it is nice to know that I do have a solid group of friends. I really have met some incredible people.
A friend is coming in tonight that I haven't seen in the longest time. It'll be great to see her. I've plans to go to Rochester. As always, I have plans for vermont, but i must save up money.
Whereas the past few weeks have been crappy, things are really coming together and turning out great. Life is good.
I have nothing terribly exciting to tell. Perri's movie is coming along nicely, which is good. My sister has moved into the house. That's good.
Well - i'm off. I hope everyone's day is rocking.
shea
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[ 5.31.05 at 11am ] |
two things,
one.
i managed to work buster keaton into french class and had the teacher then give examples for the rest of the class about silent film and vaudeville and creepy buster keaton eyes.
class with buster keaton: priceless
two:
last night at spot, a man was arrested for no apparent reason other than being insanely crazy. that's right. I used a synonym as an adjective (well adverb really). The man, the crazy, while being handcuffed and placed in the ambulance by police, kept screaming for us to call thefeds and the police.
hm.
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[ 5.29.05 at 12am ] |
My sister's Mikvah was today, and i cried through the entire thing. there was a part about family being there for you, and she looked right at me, and i just got all weepy. We're such cheesy sisters. It was held in the Sisterhood room, which come on folks, you can't get more hollywood than that!
So my entire household is now sick, simultaneously. it sucks. A lot. I can't breathe or move or think straight.
I reconnected with my friend Charles. I haven't seen him in months, and frankly, that's sad. We had a mutual friend at one time who treated us both pretty badly, and its nice to know that our friendship is still intact.
I spent all day doing nothing, due to this cold. I mean, after the mikvah. Only my sister would wear stilletos to her mikvah. And she had a name change. Now a federal official one, but she got a jewish name, Emma. Cuz her legal name is Christina. and that's irony.
so this would be a larger update if i had lungs, but alas i do not since im trying to carve them from my chest.
toute a l'heure
S
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| shit pours rain. fuck. |
[ 5.27.05 at 1am ] |
mom had an MS attack. Let me explain that one to y'all. People with MS, generally, when they go through a period of high stress (or pollution, or age or some catalyst) have an MS attack. It's basically a panic attack (in some cases) that bring their health down. Once an MS patient gets an attack, their health drops and where it drops to then becomes their normal. that is why it is a degenerative disease and has no cure. Mom is so upset with my sister's conversion that she had a panic attack and now she's worse. Memory, her hands are shaking, she cant put away things, she's having trouble cooking, she's tired all the time. She apparently (thanks dad for the info.) was shaking and sobbing a few nights back.
My sister then called today because my father backed out of going to her conversion ceremony. Apparently, im the only one who isn't a nazi and wants to support my sister in converting to judaism. I'll be the ONLY member of my family attending the ceremony. There are five of us. Only one of us is going. that is nauseatingly pathetic.
So... I've been a bit upset. I went to beer with tara and we chatted. it was fun. Bumped into meli and ryan at Tom's restaurant, and they pretended to not see me until I waved at them and smiled. They waved back, tight lipped and arms stiff. They were like toy soldiers.
I'm so frustrated.
I'm kinda numb. I mean... I dont feel sad, or upset or happy or anything. I just feel like things happen and i tell other people. I feel like a conduit. I just am saying meaningless words trying to describe my situation. I don't feel it at all.
I know its hard to deal with all of this. People tell me all the time how difficult it is. I just... im constantly fighting that wanting to disappear feeling.
and, geeky level... my forum is being ridiculously homophobic and its pissing me off.
ok enough idiocy. I'll get over it as always,
night.
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| the terrible horrible no good very bad day |
[ 5.25.05 at 7pm ] |
I usually have my defenses up but today some kid in the middle of class said some joke about gay people being disgusting and I kinda just went into shock and felt like someone had hit me. I don't know why I took it so hard, but I was getting really mad, and if people know me, anger to me comes in two forms A)yelling and tearing a person to shreds, or B)red in face, so angry that iburst out crying. So today in french class, I almost was option 2. I was blinking back tears. the kid wasn't even talking to me. I wanted to kill him and cry.
then I heard someone tell me that gay people were gross. I held my cool during that one.
So I just feel hurt that people are such assholes.
then on the ride home, my father told me that my mom was getting worse and i should open my eyes to that and help her out. I don't even want to begin to describe how i feel about this. I don't have words. My friends at school, well some specific ones in mind, are being really shitty. I just wish that everything wasn't fallign apart. I really want to disappear from here. I think that truly I exist best in memory to these people as that weird girl who had that cool fundraiser thingy... what was it again? I don't even remember her name.... Shane?
I'll then sneak onto a train and ride to vermont, say hello, and then ride elsewhere.
dreams are nice, aren't they?
I just feel so bad due to other people's actions (my fault for being an oversensitive moron), and that my mom is getting worse and a more rapid pace and I have been able to handle it for years, but now that I see it every day, I don't think I can anymore. I just cry thinking about it, let alone having to pretend that im cool and strong and helpful and meaningful and all that crap. the thing with death is, you get over it after a short amount of time. it's immediate, your friends flock to you and make you feel better, and then they go. With MS, it's a long period of suck for years, and no one is there to comfort you. all of us children try to be there for our father, but he shuts us out. we try to be there for mom, but she then shuts us out. So we're useless.
not to mention that my sister's mikvah made my mother cry and my dad - this is talent - made that my fault. figure that one out. I can't because im really upset and my brain is ready to nuke.
off to find more wine,
love you all,
Shea
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[ 5.24.05 at 1pm ] |
Very Special Case
You scored 71% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 80% Expert! |
I don't know how you did it, but you boggle my mind! You got at least 75% of the intermediate, advanced, and expert questions correct, but you got 75% or less in the beginner section. How is this possible? Were you just guessing?????? Either way...
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!
For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 6% on Beginner |
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You scored higher than 61% on Intermediate |
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You scored higher than 55% on Advanced |
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You scored higher than 78% on Expert |
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| thank you shen |
[ 5.24.05 at 12am ] |
just note. I am a very confused one... I am a collection of a million different things. Also how does little-boy dyke and femme fatale work together... that's creepy.
-shea
 | You scored as The Femme Fatale. You're carefree, dark and adventurous...and slightly fatale to the heart.
The Little-Boy Dyke | | 75% | The Femme Fatale | | 75% | The Quasi-Gothic Femme | | 65% | The Student Dyke | | 65% | The Granola Dyke | | 60% | The Bohemian Dyke | | 60% | The Surprise! Dyke | | 55% | The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke | | 50% | The Pretty-Boi Dyke | | 45% | The Stud | | 45% | The Sprightly Elfin Femme | | 45% | The Hipster Dyke | | 35% | The Magic Earring Ken Dyke | | 20% | </td>
What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| hysterical |
[ 5.22.05 at 9pm ] |
oh my god. thats so funny.
Rao just called me and apparently japanese people are calling him asking for big daddy.
He thought it was me, but i only wish i had thought of it.
much love
Shea
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| crazy |
[ 5.21.05 at 9pm ] |
So.
I had a nice meal with Dan at Amy's Place.
I tore sap a new asshole in her critiques, which is purely constructive. I feel bad, cuz i didn't hold back. BUT its honesty, and my opinion. Take both with a grain of salt.
I checked my horoscope today which made me say "Amen".
the horoscope read: Simmer down, now. You need to draw back and regroup. Does that sound like battle strategy? Well, it should. You may not be fighting with anyone, but you'll definitely need to defend yourself -- from the rabid fans.
oi vey
im excited to see Serenity when it comes out. I'm a geek. I miss my little bro. I missed the VT gradumacation. dammitall....
i love everyone. And I mean that. everyone. not just a few, not just one. Everyone.
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| Veritas |
[ 5.20.05 at 9pm ] |
Ladies, Gentlemen, and the GenderQueer,
I must admit something. I am not who you think I am. I was not born Shea Elizabeth Akers. I have no name, but have been assigned a number since birth. I am a part of a large government organization plot to map out the populace for reasons that can not be brought up in such a public sphere. That's right folks, I'm a spy.
Have no fear. Nothing much will change. This just means that if you see someone in my life who looks exactly like Robert Smith of the Cure, it is actually #2329573-9089-055. I call him five by five, and he gets kinda touchy about the Robert thing. Anyway, I bring this to your attention because i cannot live a lie anymore.
I may be killed for this, but that's ok. Five by Five has got my back.
love,
#2856043-3454-010
The artist formerly known as Shea
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[ 5.20.05 at 2pm ] |
Well,
a few things need to be placed in order.
I absolutely adore BRISEUR and GENERIC RICK. I look forward to the wedding, and to be completely honest. it wouldn't be a bad match.
You two would either be stuck in a room talking at each other, never to see daylight again, OR one of you would be dead by the hands of the other, and as much as I love you, Rick, My money goes on Mikey. Although, it's very close.
In addition to that, is there a particular reason why you chose to give the math definition of mean and no other?
hm. As for the code at the bottom (the extra), and I really am giving it away. It's the Caesar Code.
Also, Suggdogg is this scary smart eccentric whom I adore and consider the greatest of all my mentors. He interrupted class (Philosophy of religion) to yell out "What does mean mean?!" He then rested his head on the table and thought about it, leaving the class stunned and my friend Laura and I cracking up.
What does mean mean?
As for the equation.... quadratic would suffice, but your extended answers give you extra points.
1,004 points to Rick for not getting the caesar code.
1200 for Mikey for proposing to my friend and me liking that.
1102 for Justabi because i never thought she read my LJ and she did, so she gets mad points.
1 million for my boy Dubya. He rules.
seacrest out.
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| fair enough, bauser, but i will win. oh yes. i will win. |
[ 5.19.05 at 12am ] |
Why do I harass Joe bauser?
No one really knows. Least of all him and myself. Let it be known that it is not out of malice, mainly out of boredom and the id.
take that BAUSER!!! (uhhh better you call me.))
problem one: this is an example of ________________ (easy)
y = ax² + bx + c
problem two: describe schroedinger's cat paradox (excuse my horrendous spelling) -
problem three: What does mean mean? (a shout out to the good ole professor suggdogg.))
take that mr. RIT (or is it MIT? are you even in school?)).
as for when i don't harass my friends (who i havent spoken to in months, if not over a year), i am busy celebrating my sister's mikvah (spelling...sigh...yet again). She's converting to Judaism this month. I'm wicked excited. I've always wanted a Jew in the family, and my dreams have come true. Three years of intense religious studies actually does pay off.
-Shea
ps: joe. i hate math.
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| HAILSTONES!!! 5, 16, 8, 4, 2, 1, 4, 2, 1, 4, 2, 1, 4, 2, 1 |
[ 5.17.05 at 11pm ] |
ooookay ...
well its been an interesting time as usual. I have started my lifeguard recerts. I chilled with Dan at his new swanky apartment. I am trying to spend as much time with Josh as possible, since he's leaving for cali. soon. I watched everyone graduate... more so, i saw them after the walk. I watched my sister's walk. I don't want to walk, but alas, i must.
I have seen kay a bunch, which is undeniably fantastic and uplifting and great.
I've been to Amy's Place... way to fuckin much.
numb3rs still. season finale... ridiculously disappointing. I'm such a sucker for advertising... and then i get disappointed when it lets me down.
reading: reinaldo something.... his book is has the word 'well' in it. We'll see.
so yeah. i saw constantine which was a fun action movie.
joe bauser, guess the sequence. i gave you lots of hints. n=5.
bye!!!
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| mind on over drive |
[ 5.11.05 at 1am ] |
Hello,
let me do a run through. I hung out at 44 with crystal and mindy and jacqueline and boy lauren and girl lauren. I sat and talked with Ryan a bunch, which was great. He's a good, smart kid. I visited the kids at 71, more specifically, DJ. i heard he was in a rough spot. I ran into a bunch of people which was great. I miss the punk house. I then ditched the Robert Blake show (i'm an ass) to go to Broadway Joe's with Jesslyn, and that was amazing. We just hashed it out. I was drunk, yeah. I crashed at 44 and spent all day today talking and laughing, and sorting through clothing and there was the buffy movie watching, and I loved it.
I then get home and am invited to coffee, to then be promptly ditched with the excuse that my phone wouldn't ring or pick up, which is great and fantastic because my father, my stalker and rachel could all reach me, and did (except stalker, i dont answer the phone. get a fuckin clue.). So i was really upset, and I left a teary message for Megan - which sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm fine, i'm ok. I just havent been in the greatest of places and to have your good friends, who lately have been treating you mediocre, then just ditch, it really kicked my ass emotionally. I miss you so much, because i can come to you with the thoughts in my head, and I'm afraid to express them otherwise. I know others who read this might feel bad about that, but really, its a me and not you thing.
BUT i instead took myself out for coffee and worked out a heirarchy of religious experience and a few arguments about religion, physiology and fate in reference to contradictions and time. It's amazing how much modern accepted theories are merely that - theories. So much is based upon assumptions as our building blocks, and its interesting to disect them.
I'm going to st. lawrence tomorrow to pick up my little timmy jimmy, and then i'll be home, work all week (sorta), and there's an appreciation banquet which'll be interesting. I hate awards and things like that. they make me blush, and I know I deserve some credit, but i'm also very nervous....
so yeah... I'm not in the best of sorts, but im definitely not in the worst. Today, at crystals, was a huge shout out to my old stoop sitting on jake and claire's porch and just enjoying the summer.
I also have this insatiable need to call professor sugarman (who i KNOW is up) and just get these theories out of my head and into someone else's so i can hear reactions and add them into what im thinking. I wrote aletter to my father to read while I'm gone so that I could talk with him about it when i get back. I know summer vacation justbegan, but dear god... i need a vacation.
i love you all.
Shea
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| 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89... |
[ 5.8.05 at 5pm ] |
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The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to good manners and elegance. |
In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
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Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. |
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
American Cities That Best Fit You:
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70% Chicago |
65% Philadelphia |
60% Los Angeles |
60% Washington, DC |
55% Atlanta |
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| today today |
[ 5.6.05 at 11pm ] |
so -
a lot of things have gone down lately. From the Women's Nat'l Rights Museum, to watching sin city, to maybe getting a girlfriend if i stop being nuts, to friends hanging out and not hanging out, to being completely stalked by another person... to talking to megan for WAY to briefly... to seeing perry... to driving and taking care of babies and working and just... well...
yeah. I'm not in the greatest of moods. And yet, there are so many things to be excited over. So many new things to keep in mind. I just don't know.
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| CALLING ALL DOWNLOADERS |
[ 5.1.05 at 11pm ] |
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oh big trouble.
I sat on a table instead of a kinsey 3, and I'm so 6 right now.
anyway.
I have a favor... CALLLING ALLLLL DOWNLOADDDDERRRS!!!!
I need numb3rs. I've been trying for like two weeks and nothign is working. if you can burn me the last 11 episodes (AKA- all of them), i will give you a burnt CD and make you something and skip in joy.
please... please... please...
limewire and dc++ and kazaa dont cut it. I NEED YOU!
email me, respond to this, ANYTHING if you could get me ANYTHING... i'll give you my address for christ's sake.
please......
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[ 5.1.05 at 7pm ] |
I'm going nuts. really im just restless.
i want to go out.
Your Geek Profile:
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Academic Geekiness: High |
Fashion Geekiness: High |
Internet Geekiness: High |
Movie Geekiness: High |
SciFi Geekiness: High |
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Music Geekiness: Moderate</td></tr>
<td bgcolor="#B0F4D7">
Gamer Geekiness: Low</td></tr>
<td bgcolor="#A4F9D2">
Geekiness in Love: Low</td></tr>
<td bgcolor="#99FFCC">
General Geekiness: Low</td></tr>
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