bundle up that courage...

Sooooo....today, in the midst of the country's financial woes, and during the most cocked-up project I've ever worked on, which we're losing money on every day...I asked for a payrise. And the boss just smiled and said 'yes'. Which is fabulous. I had a whole speech worked out, about my strengths and why I deserved it...but basically I just sort of squeaked out 'canIhaveapayrisepleasethanks'. And the boss smiled and nodded and said 'Yes.' very simple. I also asked if I could become fire marshall and Health and Safety assistant, and he said yes to that too. Which means I'll get a few extra Saturdays of work, and a lot of experience to put on my CV.

But now he's on holiday for 10 days, so I don't know how much I'll get. My smallest ever pay rise has been 20p an hour. My biggest has been over a pound an hour. I suppose I'm expecting about 3-4%, but secretly hoping for more? But as above, recession etc. means I can't wish for too much!

I do hate how ridiculously nervous I get in such situations. I'm just not like that...I'm confident, I'm outgoing...and then I have to ask for something like that and I just feel like I can't breathe, and I'm going to cry. All the muscles around my mouth go super tight and I can barely speak. WTF is up with that?? But now I've done it, I know I could have a totally normal conversation with him. I guess it's just that initial 'shit I'm asking for his money' moment!