the soft white underbelly...

In my workplace there is one simple rule:

Don't show weakness.

A few months ago LankyJam's woman left him and became engaged to another man. He was rather depressed about this. We took the piss. A lot. We still do.

This morning, he was looking very miserable, so I told him to cheer the fuck up and asked him why he was so grumpy. His answer?
"It's Monday, I'm at work, my cat died."

So I said "Aww, are you going to bury it in a box in your garden?"

"No, it's missing. It hasn't come home."

So I was like "It might not be dead then! Jeeez, make me feel sorry for you..."

Lanky: "It was 20, it's been missing three days. It was my only friend."

Me: "Well maybe it's just got sick of you, like the rest of us, and left."

Then MidLifeChrisis overhears... "What? Your cat's left you? Christ, you don't have much luck with pussy, do you?"


And then LankyJam had to put up with pussy jokes for the rest of the day.

Never ever show a weakness. We'll jump on you and bring you down. Liek whoa.