| Fuck. |
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| 11:07am 21/06/2007 |
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It is the mother fucking alternator. -.-' |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Phone sex |
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| 04:11pm 02/10/2006 |
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LOL I can't even say it. Thats how funny it is. |
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| Kuraitani |
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| 11:33pm 13/09/2006 |
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Kuraitani- The valley of darkness.
Referring to the years from the Depression through world war II.
"When so many people lived like children whose heads had slipped beneath the waves."
More or less that about sums up how I feel. Things are bleak to say the least. Perhaps my mind must make a melodrama out of everything but I feel as if every small success slips away much faster than any defeat ever did. I feel like a small animal backed into a corner.
"Nothing is bleaker than the future except perhaps the past."
At first this sounded very depressing to me but now it is more of a joke. Perhaps I can keep this in my heart long enough to be out of my own personal Kuraitani. |
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| 08:05am 10/09/2006 |
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expand on Basho. A little easier to understand than
Old pond
a frog jumps in
splash
I have been thinking about this a lot lately.. I must have listened to Gil Fronsdal read it at least seven times. Let me break that one down a bit.
When he says old pond he actually means the stillness of the mind, or the mind in a meditative state. Our calm untouched deep inner being. A frog jumps in refers to thoughts and feelings that arise within our mind. This gives us opinions, tastes, the urge to be in action or to be inactive. Take your pick. The meeting of the two.. when a thought arises in our still mind is the splash. The connection of the two and the ripple effect of such an event.. I could compare the ripple of the splash to karma and go a little deeper on it but I would prefer just to leave it as a brief mention for the moment. But to put it as simple as possible.. that splash.. is the reality of life.. those three lines describe the three realms of reality. The life you are experiencing right now.. is that splash. mmm 16th century japanese poetry
essential reform
the simplicity of change
stillness in movement
emptiness in change
stillness in every movement
to connect what is
the sound the movement
with the mixture of the still
this reality |
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| 01:51am 09/09/2006 |
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Ambition, determination, dedication. The ability to accept and to give to appreciate small acts of kindness and love and let them effect me in a much larger way. they come and go almost as if they were never there at all and then as if they had been there since birth and are a permanent part of my structure. All things are transient, subject to change. Things are so simple if you allow the nature of chance and change to manifest.
an old pond
a frog jumps in
splash
nee-so-no-ohtoe
the sound of water
the sound of what is. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Eight verses for training the mind |
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| 05:38pm 20/08/2006 |
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With the determination to accomplish
The highest welfare of all sentient beings,
Who excel even the wish-fulfilling jewel,
May I at all times hold them dear.
When I associate with others
May I think of myself as the lowest of all
And from the depth of my heart
Hold the others as supreme
In all actions may I search my mind,
And as soon as delusions arise
That endanger myself and others,
May I firmly face and avert them.
When I see being of wicked nature,
Oppressed by violent misdeeds and afflictions,
May I hold them dear
As if I have found a rare and precious treasure.
When others out of envy treat me badly
With slander, abuse and the like,
May I suffer the loss and
Offer the victory to them.
When the one whom I have helped
And benefited with great hope
Hurts me badly, may I behold him
As my supreme guru.
In short, may I directly and indirectly offer
Benefit and happiness to all my mothers.
May I secretly take upon myself the harmful actions
And suffering of my mothers.
May all this remain undefiled by the stains of
Keeping in view the eight worldly principles.
May I, by perceiving all phenomena as illusory,
Unattached, be delivered from the bondage of samsara. |
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| 08:29am 20/08/2006 |
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mood:  okay
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AHHH! I woke up two hours late! SHIT. Oh well nothing I can do about it now except eat some oatmeal but I am missing the soy milk. Yesterday afternoon me and my sister went for like a 4 mile walk.. We walked along the railroad tracks to where the railroad bridge goes over the river which both us were affraid to go over which was the funniest thing you have ever seen in your life. We would take about four steps.. run back.. giggle like idiots.. four steps.. you get it, lather rinse repeat. Finally we were able to get across.. holding hands of course. There were two more after that but none of them had a river going under them so we climbed down and checked out all the tags and the like.. some very interesting ones of pink/yellow bears with plaid hats. Mimo pointed hers out to me which I thought was great. I was unaware that it was even there so of course I am going to have to go back and add some touches of my own there were some blank spots that call for sars turtles! Today I am going to do some meditation I am such a slacker when it comes to that. I have been meaning to get on track but you know how it is. Say a mala or two eat breakfast stretch.. read then at 8 I have a date with the tv. |
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| Prayer flags |
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| 02:48pm 18/08/2006 |
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I could just scream.. If Piper chews one more thing in this house I swear on everything I hold as holy that I will kill her dead where she stands. Ok maybe not.. but I am PISSED. Today I put up my prayer flags.. the heart of wisdom ones. They look lovely on my front porch I might go for a walk later on not really sure I might opt to stick my face in yet another book. I love Marvin so much.. I want to keep him. ok I'm starving I'm going to eat watch the history channel * my guilty pleasure* and get back to reading. |
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| Yay! |
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| 03:02am 17/08/2006 |
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My box came today.. I wasn't expecting it to come so soon but I guess that just made it a nice suprise. I am so glad to have my prayer flags can't wait to get them up. My om hoodie is the best, it is so soft on the inside and I love the shades of blue it is. It has one of those big pockets on the front of it because its a pull over so I can fit my cd player in it for when I go for my walks. Finally some free hands. Koneko is really warming up he is actually seeking out human contact. I slept forever yesterday like almost 24 hours.. I don't know how I am able to sleep for so long but sometimes I just don't wake up.. its so strange. Got a call from meeko today he told me he missed me and to be honest I missed talking to him too. I really want to see some pictures of his daughter so I can get an idea of what our child might look like although I am thinking of adopting. He said he was taking a vacation soon so I am in hopes that we will be able to spend some time together. He also says he is going back to school I am very happy for him we will end up going to school at the same time. |
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| Also |
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| 02:30am 16/08/2006 |
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Katy Bishop's Animal Friends is looking for volunteers.. We are based in Michigan and are looking for:
Dog walkers
Dog and cat foster homes
People to make crafts ( crafts we will need will depend on what we
will need them for some examples are displays, donation boxes for pet supplies, cat nip toys, bizarre/craft sale items etc.)
People to inquire at pet supply stores about letting us set up pet food/supply donation boxes for about a month in their stores. (You will be in charge of set up and take down and checking for current donations.)
Help locating on the internet, resources for animal welfare organizations. (ie: grants, items to sell, any help for animal welfare non-profit groups, and many more things we may need some help doing via the itnernet) If you are interested in this, please ask for more details.
Event help (ie: rummage sales, flea markets, plant sales, bizarre/craft shows) This is not a complete listing of events.
If you are interested in helping us please send me an E-mail at: Somavsmara@yahoo.com
Thanks! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Pain and peace |
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| 01:24am 16/08/2006 |
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Oh my god.. I can hardly move my back is worse than ever and my knees are not doing so well either.. When I took my mum to Detroit the other day I had to climb some stairs and my legs were killing me even ten minutes after I got up there.. Today I was laying on the floor and went to get up.. holy shit I thought my legs were going to snap right off at the knee. Had a nice dinner with my mum.. Kayti and Jeff came by but not for very long. I have been really stressed lately but I am in hopes that it will pass.
A little story for you:
We werejust two women, gone beyond time, our talka shuttle pulling weft across wrap, no beginning, no end to the pattern. The cauldron of plenty in each of us seethes with its ferment, sweet and bitter. The world to be carriedand no plaint made, love to suffer long and be kind, not vaunting, not puffed up, the seed that we carry to be threshed, freed from its crusty husk, the aching question of who we are and for what made, answered only by its echo. The need to stand before the unknown and never ask to know, to take our leave of the world , head high, no matter how hard the parting, and coquerty no whit abated, offer the unassuaging mould an acquiescent lip. Arms crossed, we rock from side to side. Hushing what? OUrselves, perhaps. And again and again she murmurs a word, as counterpoint to her movement.
"What is that you are saying? Tell me."
She rocks and seems to draw it closer, folding the word to her breast.
"A-Wa-Re." She stresses the syllabled as though teaching a child.
"A-Wa-Re. It means, in our tongue, The Pity of Things."
I look at her long and in silence. Then I rise and bow.
"Do you know that what you hace saud is our word 'Aware'?"
She looks at me long and in silence. Then she, too, rises and bows. And at the door bows again. There is nothing to say. We say nothing.
A Zen student came to Bankei and complained: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?
"You have something very strange," replied Bankei. "Let me see what you have."
"Just now I can not show it to you," replied the other.
"When can you show it to me?" Asked Bankei.
"It arises unexpectedly," replied the student.
"Then," concluded Bankei, "it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it to me any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you. Think that over.
- From Zen flesh,zen bones by Paul Reps
Use direction to govern a country
use indirection to fight a war
use inactiont o rule the worl
how do we know this works
the greater the prohibitions
the poorer the people
the sharper the weapons
the darker the realm
the smarter the scheme
the stranger the outcome
the finer the treasure
the thicker the thieves |
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| 11:35pm 14/08/2006 |
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I made business cards today for KBAF They look AWESOME I can't wait to get them in the mail.. I bought some stuff today.. A free tibet shirt, prayer flags, two om mani padme hung bracelets (one for me one for my mum)and an om hoodie. I drove my mom down to Detroit today for a dr's app.. I am getting so busy lately I always have my face in a book these days. Things are really picking up with KBAF.. I really want to push our name out there more we really need some more foster parents but it is so hard to find someone who wants to do it.. I think I might go by the Red Eye and see if I can't round some people up. I need to find a vet here in Saginaw willing to work with our group or at the very least let us put up our news letter and sell our cat and dog toys there.. I think we have a few pet stores around here I might check out as well.. Like they might give us breaks on cat litter and stuff if we buy a whole bunch at once or something. I think I might make up some brochures on volunteering with KBAF and hand them out and go post them around.. |
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| 11:29am 12/08/2006 |
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gotta grow me some catnip. It needs full sun though and my yard is 90% shade. Of course I can't start it now but I will when it's time again. every single thing is in Midland and Freeland and I hate going that way just to volunteer.. and since when did they need volunteers any way and its always for something totally bland. My sister came to visit I like when she comes she is the only person that can understand what happens around here.. ugh so much to do... |
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| 05:28pm 08/08/2006 |
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took the kittens back to the vet today they are all doing great I have to take them back the 31st.I am finally feeling a bit better it always takes so long to bounce back. pumpkin and sayuri might be going soon... I have way to many cats.. Marvin is my new fave the others kind of blow him off because he is not their brother but I love him he always wants to be around you and his coat is soo nice. |
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| woot! |
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| 06:28pm 30/07/2006 |
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I had an awesome day volunteering in Midland the other day and I managed to get Patrick and some of his friends involved. yay! Ella got adopted and we got a new cat named Marvin. Molly brought her kids along for the adoption of Ella and they made it really hard... I had to talk over them and they were running around my house chasing my cats. my kittens are not used to little kids handling them rough. They kept hanging on ella and trying to give her comands when the people trying to adopt her were trying to and giving her comands she didn't know making Ella kinda look bad. Molly didn't really do anything about it then called me and asked if I had a problem with her saying I was touchy that day... no I dont have a problem with her but I had a problem with her kids acting loud and crazy through the interview... I am not even going to get into the rude thing her eight yearold said.. molly tried to brush it off with shes only eight blah blah.. well when I was eight I was helping my mother run a household and telling her to divorce my father and I knew what was something nice to say and what wasnt so that "shes only eight" bullshit doesnt fly around here. ok im done.. |
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| Developing loving-kindness |
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| 03:36am 27/07/2006 |
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Put away all hindrances, let your mind full of love pervade one quarter of the world, and so too the second quarter, and so the thrid, and so the fourth. And thus the whole world, above, below, around and everywhere, altogether continue to pervade with love-filled thought, abounding, sublime, beyond measure, free from hatred and ill-will. |
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| Tell em cici |
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| 07:10pm 26/07/2006 |
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Friday from 10 - 5 I get to go volunteer in Midland.. There are a few other projects I am looking at but Midland is such a pain. I find it strange that Saginaw is not as active. Sat people are going to adopt Ella *I hope*. The kittens are used to her now and they play together sooo cute. God soy milk is the best thing in the world.. |
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| Patience |
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| 12:45am 26/07/2006 |
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There was a post in the Buddhist comm about patience... To practice the Dharma is better than to just read... Even though I had read about patience I didn't really put it into practice along with right effort.. I managed to do this tonight even though I didn't want to do it I made myself... I took Chi for a walk despite his pulling but sure enough he began to walk with me not against me... Ella has been better about going outside and I was able to teach her sit and lay. Koneko is more people friendly and just about to give up on studying.. I managed to get past my problem. Today has taught me more about being a Buddhist than all the books I have read. True understanding is a true blessing.
With Metta!
E |
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| Too many kittens!!! |
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| 12:36am 25/07/2006 |
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Would someone PLEASE become a foster parent for some of these kittens or adopt one.. we have like 3 new litters heading our way and we just can't handle them all with just the few of us even if you can just foster ONE kitten it would be a huge help!
www.katybishop.org |
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| What a day |
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| 05:01pm 22/07/2006 |
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I went to volunteer at the book sale turns out they didn't need me today and just forgot to call me... fab! ::dies:: Then I had to pick up Ella.. her old family was the most white trash nasty people I have ever seen in my life.. I couldn't wait to get this dog away from them. I know that is mean to say but if you would have been there you would understand. So despite that and the fact that my boyfriend wait scratch that xboyfriend cheated on me with another girl and got her knocked up and the rest of my life is falling apart Ella managed to save my day by being the most loving dog ever.. even though she can't seem to keep her nose out of the litter box.. sick. 5 cats 2 dogs 1 broken heart |
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