[we're the same strange animal]

Don't talk to me about life.

drworm — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 02:49:32 GMT

I feel like I should write in here, at least for myself. So I will. Hah.

The beginning of my semester was murderous, due to one of the off-campus bookstores closing unexpectedly. Our traffic was absolutely insane the first week of classes, plus I was more or less in charge of the textbooks temps, which was an exercise in patience that I did not possess. There were days when I was doing four or five different jobs in a day (as in, jobs that should have been assigned to that many people). I lost about fifteen pounds, because I would run around for eight hours a day and then not eat enough because I was on the "pissed off diet." One of the temps was also the most apparently perfect boy I've ever met, and it turned out we went to high school together. He's about two years older than me. We went and got dinner and also went to the art museum (I called these "date-not-dates" because they were like dates but without physical contact), but then he got a real job in D.C. because he has a masters in political science or whatever. And lived in Germany. Because he speaks German. Ugh, good for him, bad for me.

Then I started sleeping with a painfully autistic 21 year old. Who got mono and then maybe gave it to me? I don't know. Sleepy.

Finished my thesis about the sideshow, both the written part (it was like 150 pages, although illustrations were involved) and the painting. Actually, I could go back into the painting. Anyway, I defended it quite awesomely. The notoriously difficult to please professor I had for LGBT studies (who I also have a wicked little crush on) told me it was one of the best he's been involved in and gave me an awkward little pat. Turned in my writing portfolio. Played Macbeth in my Shakespeare class. Got an A, of course. Have now apparently graduated with my BA. Only cum laude, because of my problems from years ago, but still not terrible. I have to start looking into grad school now, I guess, or acquiring a real person job of some sort. My goal is to start producing more: more writing that I submit for publication, more art, more work that might sell to people. And the grad school applications. Sigh. I'd really like to work in a museum, but I fear getting that education and then being un- or underemployed.

I desperately want to live elsewhere, but at the moment I have nowhere to go. :(

Also, I read some books, saw some movies, all that jazz. Soon I hope to post about that. You know, the non-life stuff. The inner life, which is so much better.

I'm not cool enough for the Internet

drworm — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 06:34:26 GMT

Whoa, so I go to update and find a mostly-written entry about last semester's terrible Harry Potter class. I totally don't even remember writing it. Well, the class sucked anyway, and it was a massive source of bitching from my little English nerd group, doubtlessly annoying many but entertaining me. Also the professor managed to say two amazing things, one awesome and one horribly racist. Respectively, these were:

"Why wasn't Dumbledore liberating Auschwitz?"

and

"So basically he goes for the girl-next-door [Ginny] and not the dragon-lady [Cho]."

I don't think I will ever be able to forget either.

But I drew a picture: Remus and Harry sketch. And I made a presentation about gay werewolf AIDS in class, which should totally have been a wonderful paper, especially because I managed to come up with several very elegant ideas involving queer and monster theory and werewolf mythology. But no. No paper in an upper-division English class. Let's do powerpoints and objective exams instead! Wait, what? Ugh.

I'm currently trying to make myself work on my thesis, which is hard because I'm pretty sure I'm doing Masters-level work and getting Bachelor-level credit, but oh well. Again, I have a very elegant idea that I'm focused on to the exclusion of all else, but it's so goddamned metaphysical. Also I'm probably in a state of mild depression, because I'm unhappy with my job and my social life is kind of fucked up. Also I'm not in Poland right now! Why must a $1500 plane ticket keep me from Poland!? :(

Things I have been consuming lately and am burning to talk about: Discworld and Archer. I know, these are two very different things.

Also I suck at lj, so if you want to be facebook friends, I can tell you that I am slightly more lively there. Leave me a comment and I'll sneakily give you my id, I guess. Then we can friend each other and pretend to be facebook populars.

Another drive-by update

drworm — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 05:58:26 GMT

It's a bit sad that updating has become a bi-yearly affair for me, but it's an unfortunate side effect of working and trying to pull my life together.

My major Internet accomplishment of late was finishing something for Yuletide: La Petit Mort. Re-Animator, Herbert/Dan, in which I combine and condense two ideas I had years ago. It really was an achievement, since I thought I had more time than I actually did, and so I had to spend like three days going to work then going to the library at night to finish first my exam for my LGBT theory class (which was brutal) and then this story. Forced productivity! It does produce results, anyway.

Here is the gift I received, by the way: Alternates. It is Back to the Future gen and very nice. Although it does tickle me that both years I have done Yuletide, I have gotten gen for the fandoms where I had hoped for father/son stuff. :) It is fine, though, since they have both been good gen stories, and I just like reading about the characters (yes, even when there is no sex involved).

I would be lying if I said I missed fandom and Internet and Livejournal stuff. I mean, I miss it... or at least some parts of it. I miss having the time to create, collaborate, and share stuff. Even just stuff like making icons or whatever. I miss that.

I'm writing an honors thesis on sideshow imagery in literature and culture at the moment. Which is great and all, but it definitely means that I should always feel guilty about having fun. So there's that. All I want to do is draw goofy things, but there is so much reading and writing to be done. And then what? Who knows. Life.

Still ate'nt dead!

drworm — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 02:30:38 GMT

I'm not!

I promise!

I traded an Internet life for real life things that are sometimes very satisfying and sometimes not so satisfying (but, ultimately, necessary). :/

I went to Poland for a month! And then to Rome and London, all with hortonhearsawho! It was an adventure worthy of an epic poem. Pictures will arrive eventually.

I also found a boy to run around with and do sex! Too much info? But it is nice. I still love kleenexwoman best... but sex is fun and it's good to not be lonely.

To satisfy my nostalgia for being able to nerd out online about things I like, here are two awesome Back to the Future related videos. I love you Michael J. Fox...

But omg Eric Stoltz!!!

Our play has a "madhouse quality" to it--the best review ever.

drworm — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 04:04:14 GMT

Our last supper at the Angola rest stop.

On May 23rd, my medieval drama class ended with us performing play 13 of the Chester Cycle at the University of Toronto. I don't know if I can do a write-up of this any justice, so here are pictures. Lots of pictures. None of which were taken by me, so I send out many thanks to the people who did take them.

Basically, this experience was the closest thing I've ever had to a religious experience. Maybe that was the heatstroke talking, but it was a very emotional day--after an emotional nine months of work put into the project--and it's something that I think a lot of us have already found tough to leave behind, especially after how much we put into it.

IIIIII love you Jesus Christ... Jeeeeeeesus Christ I love you, yes I do.

A couple of notes: I tried to keep pictures of the events in the play chronological, even though photos were taken at all three of stations where we performed. This explains the discontinuity in the backgrounds, since for each play we had to pack up and move slightly down the row to a different set-up and a different audience. This is how these things were put on back in their heyday, so naturally that's how we had to do it.

Also, it was a very warm day and by the end of it I had heatstroke from my costume. You can't really tell from the photos, though, and I guess I'm proud of that. There are undershirt layers, etc. that you can't see, in addition to the shirt, vest, and jacket that you can see, so you can imagine. And since I was onstage nearly all the time, there was no real way for me to stop and cool down. (We planned for much cooler weather, in case you couldn't tell.) Why aren't we wearing medieval garb or robes or something? Because the people in the 1300s to the 1500s would have worn clothing that was in style for them, and the group hosting the Chester Cycle asked people to go for modern dress, in the spirit of the original actors. How many actually did that? Like... three plays, including ours. Which kind of sucked, because modern dress means you have to think on your feet more, and the other plays with modernized costumes were way more fun. Robes are boring. Pissing off traditionalists is fun.

Besides, we got on the favorites list of at least a few of the bigwigs there, and apparently nearly everyone who has spoken to our professors has mentioned me favorably. Apparently my voice is what people really remember about our play, which... yeah.

A lot of the photos I'm posting are from the third station just because it was the only one in the shade, and so I'm not squinting against the sun the entire time.

Once Lazarus is raised, everyone goes to Simon the ex-Leper's house for a party!

Then I leave and come back for Hosannaing and the entry into Jerusalem. Jesus has his "Ah, Jerusalem!" speech and then descends upon the temple with his whip. At this point I'm standing in a structure called the "God Above," which normally serves as Heaven. There's no Heaven in our play, so they let me go up there and be subversive.

At the second station the audience started clapping at the end of the temple scene so I started banging on the railing to make them stop. Apparently, I scared some of my castmates in doing that. I had multiple people in my own play comes up to me and say "You were really scary!" afterward.

Play 13 reminder!

drworm — Fri, 21 May 2010 10:14:31 GMT

If anyone reading this is going to be in or around Toronto on the 23rd at about 2:30 you should come see our play! All the info about where and when the plays will be held is on the site there. Victoria College, University of Toronto. I play Judas. My performance has been described as "Mephistophelean" (apparently I also have the face for it) and reminiscent of Truman Capote. The entire play is awesome. Watch us push the cart too! Fun for all!

We're leaving this morning at eight, but I have to go pick up my costume at the dry cleaner's at seven. That's why I'm up. Actually, I never slept. And I hit a raccoon with my car around 12:30 am this morning. :( IT IS NOT AN OMEN, JUST AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT.

It was my birthday on Tuesday. People were so nice to me, it was unreal. :) I am very happy but also very stressed.

Forestalling any entries about actual events to talk about FEVER DREAM

drworm — Wed, 12 May 2010 01:06:10 GMT

I should have written this when I actually finished the book but I have literally been almost constantly busy and it just wasn't my highest priority. Anyway.

Oh god, these books. I've started describing them to others as being soap operas for people who also like sci-fi and horror mysteries.

And they are most assuredly soap operas. I was reading the book during our trip to Harpers Ferry. Once, when I looked up to give another breathless account of what had just happened, hortonhearsawho preempted me by asking, "So, did you find out whose baby it is?" Without missing a beat I replied, "But I already know whose baby it is!" (It is Diogenes's.) But I got hortonhearsawho to start CoC, so we can read trashy mystery soap operas starring queer albino FBI agents together! Yay!

Anyway, this is the email I wrote kleenexwoman when I finished the book. It says it all, really:

hi bb, i'm home, you should be online because i finished fever dream, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wtf.

d'agostaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

the pseudo-deliverance scene with hayward and her massive tits

pendergast being a mean motherfucker

wtf was judson's motivation? (he and pendergast were totally fucking) (but pendergast loooooooooves d'agosta)

wtf at the "your wife was juicy piece of ass, you two must have had fun" thing. it's like, yeah, right. sure they did. "oh, it was about her research, it was never about our relationship!" um, i'm pretty sure that if i were doing super-exciting research, i would tell my significant other and trust them to keep mum about it, so... yeah, i'm pretty sure that her secrecy said volumes about your relationship. and then this weird dude talking about how hot pendergast's wife was rly doesn't make him more straight, sorry guys.

lol when hayward punched him, that was amazing and also hot. i like bloody pendergast, idk. i imagined him being all like, you think you're the only one who loves him? at her. yes.

In summation: Pendergast and D'Agosta are still a couple. They are trying so super hard to make Pendergast a tragic and heterosexual figure and it's pretty hilarious. Also I think the book actually arrived in bookstores today, so now people should read it and talk about it with me! Yay!

PS, Pendergast needs to stay the fuck out of Africa. D: Gah, wtf, stoppppp thaaaaaat. :(

Kind of late notice, but oh well...

drworm — Wed, 05 May 2010 02:00:12 GMT

So if you are in the vicinity of KSU tomorrow, we will be performing our Medieval Drama play one final time in Ohio before we go to Toronto. Sorry for not warning anyone who wanted to see it earlier--one reason for that is because it's in an awkward place, so if you aren't familiar with the Kent campus it can be difficult to get there. The second reason is just that I have been SO BUSY lately that it keeps slipping my mind.

Anyway. Here are the specs:

WHAT: Play 13 of the Chester Cycle (the raising of Lazarus; the anointing of Jesus' feet by Mary Magdalene at the house of Simon the Leper; Jesus' entry into Jerusalem; the destruction of the temple; and Judas' plot)

WHEN: 5/5/10 (tomorrow) at 4:00 pm

COST: FREE! But we do accept donations to pay for food in Toronto.

SEATING: There will be some folding chairs and plenty of grass/standing room. Yes, it's outdoors.

WHERE: Here's the tricky part. This is a map of the Kent Campus. Our stage is behind Stopher and Johnson (the Honors college). That is, it is to the left of what is labeled the "Gym Annex" and to the right of the Art Building. It is by the basketball court (and, uh, the dumpsters). It is up the little hill from the Victory Bell and down the big hill from all the May 4th stuff. If you don't have a KSU parking pass, you park in the big green visitor's lot in front of the MACC and the student center. Basically, if you are wandering anywhere near us you will see us, because we are quite a production.

And if getting there isn't possible, you can always visit our website. If you go to the media tab and then scroll down, you'll see the April 5th run-through, which is the closest thing we have to a performance right now. Jesus doesn't know his lines, but if you just want to see me (Juuuuuudas), I do pretty well (although the rest of the production has tightened up dramatically).

Fever Dream ARC reactions

drworm — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:49:45 GMT

I got back from my trip to Memphis on Thursday and I'm totally going to put up an entry about that sometime soon, because it was crazy and awesome. But first, I'm just sharing my dumb reactions to the Fever Dream ARC, as I've been sending them to kleenexwoman as I move slowly forward. I'm about a hundred pages in and, yes, there are spoilers and a lot of my own silly wibbling over Pendergast and D'Agosta. I also annotated and edited these some, because when I email her I tend to avoid capitals and punctuation.

Email 1:

I got Fever Dream today and I am about 50 pages in and oh my god what the fuck. OMG. It's actually making me antsy, I don't know, Pendergast is no longer the calming influence he once was. [Note: I used to reread the early Pendergast books to calm myself down when I was stressed because the dude could handle anything while being the hottest thing in the room.] :( Poor guy. It's so fucking ridiculous now. Also, man, fuck rich white people. WTF were you doing in Africa, seriously. Great white hunters my ass. Anyway. Oh, and he and Helen don't talk like they're married. Also, we meet up every month under the full moon because we met under the full moon, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, who does that? (No one except maybe big saps.) And I'm horrible, but when D'Agosta saw Pendergast handling his wife's ring "in a gesture so unconsciously tender D'Agosta felt himself pierced to the heart," I totally started imagining Pendergast and D'Agosta exchanging rings and it's just terrible. COMFORT HIM, VINCENT, PLEASE.

And oh god, Laura would never, ever let D'Agosta go unless she totally understood that there was a... thing... going on between Pendergast and D'Agosta. What the fuckkkkk.

Oh god these books are going to be the death of me.

Email 2:

OMG when Pendergast is all crazy and hunched over and then catches D'Agosta looking and tries to straighten himself out...

And oh Jesus, did they actually make another unsavory character gay? Wisley with his "boys," I mean. And is D'Agosta still naive enough not to get the innuendo? Oh wait... servants? Preston and Child, D'Agosta is not the only one confused by your innuendo.

Oh my god oh my god Pendergast is literally fucking insane in this, Jesus, it's actually freaking me out. This is so insane, I have to stop reading, gah. It's upsetting me. :(

Sorry I'm giving you the play by play here, I don't know, I just need to talk to someone ahhhhh.

Email 3:

Okay, so am I a bad person for wanting Pendergast to have had a thing with Helen's brother? I think I am.

Email 4:

Okay okay okay hold up, he and Helen only knew each other for THREE YEARS? That doesn't make it less tragical, I guess, but... dude. I don't know. I know Pendergast isn't normal, but his level of investment in a woman he was only with for three years is weird as hell. [Note: As kleenexwoman pointed out, Diogenes fucked him up but good when it comes to personal relationships.]

Email 5:

Okay, but it is WAY more tragical that his old house is now a parking garage. It fits right in with what I've seen of the South... I mean, it happens in the North too, but somehow it has this different air of pathos in the South.

Email 6:

Okay, totally getting the vibe that Helen used him for his Audubon connection. Also, there was an Audubon place in Memphis and I grabbed a pamphlet because there was a very tiny hummingbird in it.

I hope Yahoo groups emails together...

Email 7:

Oh god, I love how when Pendergast is being morose about how his wife had this big weird Audubon secret and used him for his Audubon connection, he totally goes and calls D'Agosta. "Hey, can I go back to New York, I'd like to see my girlfriend?" "Sorry, no." It's like, I know I can trust you, Vincent, you don't have any secrets from me.

Also Helen being more into the excitement than the helping people is... hurm. Kind of telegraphed at the beginning, but creepy. I don't know, I think it's something Pendergast walks a fine line with in his own character, but at the same time he's so damn self-righteous that it balances out the adrenaline junkie part of him and makes it seem less creepy. I don't know.

Also argh, why can't I have come from an old Southern family, why why why? :(

Email 8:

LOL at D'Agosta listening to "Just You and I" in the car while being annoyed with Pendergast:

Just you and I
We can entrust each other,
With you in my life,
With you in my life,
They'll never be another.

LOLing so hard. ANYWAY. Oh my god, Dr. D'Agosta the ornithologist. And then when he calls Pendergast he says, "Hello, it's Vinnie." !!! In order to be like, hey, guess what, your wife was a dead bird thief. Oopsies. Oh, Pendergast will need lots of comfort after that one.

Your name is bitch! I own you!

drworm — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:32:52 GMT

Hey, what's up, checkin' in after like... forever. Haha, it's pretty sad that I no longer have much use for my journal now that I've basically dropped out of fandom. Is that sad? Sometimes I feel a little bit sad about it, but really not much. Fortunately my life is busy enough that not having Internet acceptance/social interaction isn't much of an issue for me. I don't mean to be too cruel about it. :( I suppose that, had I world enough and time as well as the inclination I would try to keep up with all the people I could and even with stuff that's happening in fandom (maybe). As it is, kleenexwoman tells me about specific stuff that's happening. It all sounds frustrating, and I find that I just don't miss it. It's also rather telling that the times I've been most active in fan stuff have been times when I've had comparatively little to do. Maybe in the future, when I eventually finish school, I'll contribute stuff again (unless trying to find and keep a job and/or grad school swallow my time whole).

Even if I do start contributing/posting stuff in the future, I doubt I'll ever go back to trying to contribute to discussions, either on livejournal or on messageboards or whatever. It's a bit sad to be an adult and to realize that even on the Internet, in Geekdom proper, you can't quite fit in. It's less sad though to find that you don't fit in but you don't care. That's fine. Then you do something else.

In the upcoming months I'll be:

- going to Memphis on spring break to work on clearing Zion Cemetery.
- helping to get our writing conference going for April.
- going to Toronto to perform Play 13 of the Chester Cycle in May.
- possibly (probably?) going to Poland to teach art to Polish kids in an English-immersion summer camp.

By the way, there will be two performances of Play 13 on the Kent Campus in April. At least one of these will be outside because we now have a stage built out by the Honors college. All other details are pretty sketchy as of right now, but I'm sure I'll be promoting it as things get more settled (oh god I hope things get more settled). If you really care about this, there's actually a website now with content on it. Embarrassing content. So that's pretty cool.

I love you. I love you. But I should get back to cleaning now.

I still aten't dead.

drworm — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:26:13 GMT

Ahhh, I know, I don't come on livejournal anymore like... ever. This is because of me being hardcore into my schooling, i.e. last semester I had to write a ton of research papers. But it's good because I got all As except for my research assistant thing, where I got an A minus. That's okay, though, and I am basically pretty happy because my classes were all pretty difficult, so getting all As is a good achievement.

And when I'm not doing school stuff or English Club/Writers' Bloc stuff, I am working at the bookstore. Often I am working during the busy times, which is when the semester begins or ends. I just finished four days straight of stocking textbooks for 8 hours a day, so clearly it is a fun and glamorous job. Textbooks are frequently very heavy. Besides lugging the damn things around, I also put used stickers on them. If you go to KSU and buy a textbook at the bookstore on campus, I have probably touched your book. You have my germs now, haha. (Note: I do not have any serious germs and this should not dissuade you from purchasing textbooks there.)

Anyway. So my big awesome news was found out weeks ago but I didn't post it due to business. It is that I get to play Judas in our Medieval Drama play! I'm sorry, but this is kind of a big deal. You see, we have to perform it in Toronto as part of a large conference in which the entire Chester cycle is staged. There should be more info on the web eventually, but for now there is mostly this, which does have pictures of us but little else. But anyway, I pretty much wanted nothing more than to be Judas, so I'm happy but also freaking out a little. I'm pretty much the only non-theater major with a major role. Also I have to build a bunch of set-pieces and I'm just nervous about it in general.

My other big news is that my Medieval Drama professor gave me money to do a drawing for him of a stage reconstruction from the early 16th century. He used my drawing in his presentation a few days ago, and a more polished version may end up in his book?! I don't know, but it's exciting! Exclamation points! It's like I'm a competent artist or something!

Next semester my classes are: Literature in English 1 (haha, required), Sculpture 2, Medieval Drama, a special topics course on literature in the 1960s (!!!), and Intro to LGBT Studies. We shall see whether I wind up needing to drop something.

Happy New Year!

I aten't dead.

drworm — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:05:39 GMT

But just barely. You know how everything invariably comes together all at one time, rather than spreading itself out into convenient bite-sized chunks? Yeah.

kleenexwoman and I went and saw Crispin Glover's new-ish movie, It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine!, on Saturday at Oberlin. She came and picked me up, because I don't really trust my car over long distances and also it's not very pleasant to ride in because it leaks when it rains. We saw an attractive blond daddy with glasses at the rest stop on our way up. (That's not important at all, he was just cute.)

So Crispin's thing was playing at Oberlin College, which is a private school that is both snooty and incredibly liberal. (No offense meant to Oberlin, as what I saw of it was very nice, but I go to Kent State and so it was a bit of a culture shock.) What we saw of it was basically white liberal guilt personified, made flesh, bone, and science building, and it was sort of amazing. I was so impressed that I snagged a couple of copies of the student paper because it was hilarious (and gave one copy to hortonhearsawho because, in her words, they are "her people!")--and, of course, when talking about Crispin's event, it called him crazy. College kids are huge snots, basically. There was some kid who wrote about how he wanted to ask Crispin what the hell "Clowny Clown Clown" was, and I swear he sat next to me because I heard him talking about how he was totally going to ask (except he didn't, because he left after the slideshow).

But anyway, the slideshow was great, as always. Highlight was when Crispin actually stopped, ran up the stairs into the audience, and took some kid's phone because he was texting or recording or something. He said in his soft, high voice, "You have to stop that. Get it back after the show" or something similar, and then gave the phone to the AV guy. It was great and slightly uncomfortable, like watching a teacher do the same thing in class. This feeling was enhanced by the fact that the slideshow and film were being shown (for free!) in a lecture hall in the science building. It was pretty badass, though. Crispin Glover will take your phone.

But yeah, the slideshow was great. I want him to publish Round My House so, so badly. I even asked him, afterward, whether he ever would, and he said probably someday. Put the pressure on him! I love that book, I can't even describe how much. His reading adds to it, of course--and his GESTURES--but I do love it and want it to reread at my leisure.

The movie was okay, but Crispin was showing it as a digital file from his laptop, projected up onto the screen, and apparently it was missing an extremely crucial reel. Which, given that it was one of Crispin's movies, you kind of couldn't tell until he said anything. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt here and assume that it was important, though, because he was really distraught over having lost the info or whatever happened. Poor guy. You could tell that he really just wanted to figure out what had gone wrong, which I totally understand. But instead he had to stand around and talk to us, so he spent a lot of time apologizing and looking at his shoes. I really do love him, in all his fussy aspie glory, but everyone in the audience was kind of like "Um... :/" so it was an interesting experience and not as lively as some of the Q&A sessions I've been at. It does seem like he's refined what he's saying about his work--like he's ditched the term "pro-cultural," thank god. Also he said he's been listening to choral music, which I'm happy to hear. It doesn't all have to be Beethoven and Tchaikovsky (though that is pretty much the soundtrack for this film, but okay).

I'm holding off on doing a review of the actual movie because I didn't see all of it, but what I did see was very '70s and often very funny, if not quite as bizarrely cerebral as What Is It? Crispin's parents were both in it and they were both awesome, of course. And there were some very effective moments with Steven C. Stewart, although probably it's all the background information that is the most affecting--see kleenexwoman's entry, she wrote more about that.

Anyway, afterward Rachel and I hung around and flipped through discarded journals of bacteriology (is that what they were?) and looked at a display of blinking red and green lights that showed how much energy the dorms were using. I blathered on about stupid/funny things that happened in Medieval Drama, because that class has generated lots of drama and lots of anecdotes all on its own. When we saw Crispin he was very sweet, as always, and he did remember us from before with no prompting, even though it's been like a year and a half since the last time we saw him. His memory is freaking amazing. Either that or we are exceptionally memorable nerds. So he answered my question about Round My House, which was mostly what we had, since we didn't buy anything or give him anything to sign. (Print Round My House and I will buy it!) We told him we hoped he was able to figure out what went wrong with his digital print and get it fixed, he asked us if we'd come to the showing in Cleveland the night before, we said no... so he'll have to come back around. Basically, I don't know. Like kleenexwoman I just wanted to give him a big hug and tell him it's okay.

So then we were driving home. We stopped at a rest stop for some food, like after midnight, dawdled some, came out, and were just getting in the car when I spied a kitty walking by. I went up to it and he was talking to me but being standoffish at first, then after a minute he let me pet him some, pick him up, and take him into the vestibule inside. He and I sat together while Rachel went and asked the lady in Burger King whether she knew anything, but apparently it was a popular area to dump cats. :( I didn't know what else to do, so I had Rachel get a blanket and we wrapped him up and I got into the backseat with him and drove home. He's been in my room since then, except for when we brought him out for his excursion to the vet yesterday evening. We're calling him Jules because, like Crispin's character in Fast Sofa, he was found outside a rest stop/fast food place. Rachel has another picture up in her entry, which you should also read because it's a good account of the evening.

Still trying to work out what to do with Jules. I have four cats already, you see, so if you would like a very friendly kitty, I'm sure we can work something out...

P.S. Thanks to anyone who has already said they would take him in if only they could. I wish you could! But I know when things are not possible. And thanks to those who have been campaigning to try to find him a permanent home. :)

UGH

drworm — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:08:25 GMT

So much hate for how people are treating Caster Semenya. How nice to see that it's something that keeps cropping up. Obviously the problem isn't with the athletes, it's with society's dumb gender binary bullshit.

People are assholes. Gender and body bullshit is making me angrier than usual.

Sometimes it bothers me that people have such ridiculous opinions on things or get all surprised about things that absolutely happen just because they've never had to experience them. You lucky little shits, get the fuck off of my back.

The sad thing is that I'm thinking this about people who are basically my friends. :(

People are such good for nothing, worthless fuckers.

EDIT: In case you have maybe misread me over the years, somehow, I will not tolerate disrespectful treatment of anyone for being transgendered or intersexed in my journal. If you must be disrespectful, you can go do it in one of the millions of places where assholes will agree with you.

Updated with stuff

drworm — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 00:41:59 GMT

Not a lot of stuff, mind you, but some limited stuff. Which, given my current time constraints, is not a bad deal.

First off, I reposted my old Re-Animator essay here, with some minor edits. I hadn't realized that it had been nearly five years since I first posted that. God, that's insane.

And this is from a few weeks ago, but it's a corny Pendergast/D'Agosta sketch that I just didn't remember to post. I think I didn't post it, anyway.

Otherwise I survived the first week of school, but barely. At least the days of working until nine in the evening are all done with. Now it's going to be all about reading, writing, and doing fun stuff like transcribing video and using the microform readers, etc., etc. I keep telling myself I can do it, but holy god, it's a lot of work. I'm just hoping to stay organized and on top of things, for once in my life.

When life gives you academics, uh...

drworm — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 01:39:28 GMT

Oh my god, Venture Bros. Season 4 preview. Orgasmmmssssss, I am seriously not even joking. I am very very excited. Orgasmically excited. I love Venture Bros., I'm constantly being reminded of what an awesome show it is, and this just makes me happier than anything has in a while. Which is a little bit pathetic, maybe, but do I care? Sometimes you want to be happy and excited for the sake of being happy and excited. I mean, sure, I can be excited about the classes I have this semester too, but that comes with the condition of having to do a huge amount of work.

Oh god, so much work. And the first week of classes is going to be insane because when I don't have class I'm... working! In the bookstore! Freshmen started moving in on Thursday, so as you can very well imagine it was a madhouse and a ten hour work day for me. Not as bad as Crown Shoes, however. Never that bad. But pretty bad. Oh boy, standing at a cash register for hours on end! There are far worse jobs, though, and worse people to work with. Also, I keep going to work and buying posters of James Dean because they're cheap and I am weak.

Went and saw Inglourious Basterds last week with hortonhearsawho. It was awesome and funny and I pretty much loved it. Yeah, all the dialogue does get tedious at times, but then you have scenes that just punch you in the face and start running. I kind of like the dynamic tension between the slower scenes and the faster, more action-filled ones.

Everything else has been centered on school starting and getting ready for classes (lol I bought over 30 books for this semester :D:) and the writing club we're trying to get started this year. It's not boring at all, but that doesn't come across in writing. Oh well, here are the classes I'm taking:

Dada and Surrealism (Art History)
The American Hero (an English class about superheroes and the hero's journey)
Seminar: 20th Century Southern Writers
Colloquium: Medieval Drama (a year long class focused on producing and performing several plays from The Chester Cycle for a Medieval drama festival in Canada)

And then here's my independent study/undergrad research assistantship thing that I'm doing on Victorian medicine. So, life is basically full up, I guess.

Just a hodgepodge of life stuff.

drworm — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 00:42:48 GMT

Well, I got an A in my literature class. Good, dammit. Then I had to decide whether to sign up for a seminar on modernism or one on 20th century Southern writers. I wound up choosing the Southern writers, although it's early in the morning while modernism is in the afternoon. It'll be a lot of reading and writing, which makes me nervous given that I already have a full schedule which I'm a little unsure about, particularly the undergrad research assistantship I signed up for. I'm not sure yet how much work that's going to entail. I've also got a temporary job in the student bookstore and had my first day on Wednesday. That probably won't go beyond the first week of classes... I think. As long as they need the extra help, I guess. It'll be a little bit of extra money, anyway. :/ Which is good for oh so many reasons, most of them depressing and car-related.

Also I bought t-shirts, which I probably shouldn't have although I can always use more options for clothing myself. And I went to the doctor, got blood drawn to find out whether I might be anemic (apparently I'm not), and found out that I didn't really lose all that much weight even though my pants are much baggier now.

Lately I've also gotten more and more interested in learning how to knit and/or crochet. Or relearn how to crochet, at any rate, and learn how to do more than make scarves. I don't know. I'm ambivalent about it, because I've been browsing etsy and so many of the crafty-type things people make are just bad. But some are cool. I'd like to learn how to do cool things, but then I'm not sure what things I'd like to make. Exactly. I don't know. I like stuffed creatures like this, but that seems a bit advanced (although if anyone ever wanted to buy me one of those, I would have to love you forever). I have some limited hand-sewing skills (thank you, grandmother). This is a nice pillow. I don't know, I guess I'd like to learn/relearn some sewing machine skills and all of that, but I'm not sure where to start. Also tiny sculpture skills. Maybe I should just buy some sculpy.

Anyway, if anyone has any links to good references for this sort of thing or any good tips, I'd appreciate them.

One class down, one to go for this summer...

drworm — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:51:26 GMT

I got like two hours of sleep last Wednesday night because I stayed up till forever trying to finish the work for my English class, which was one major essay and four mini ones. Then I had to go in in the morning to complete the in-class portion of my final. One class down! I'm in an intro to anthropology class now, which will fulfill a liberal ed. requirement. I'm hoping/assuming it will be easier. I concluded that my literature class was, like, senior-level expectations for a sophomore level class. I had a job interview at the bookstore Wednesday and the guy asked me my major, then asked me if I ever had this particular professor. I said yeah, I had him at the moment, and he said, "Oh yeah... I've heard he's tough." He was tough. I'm hoping for an A or a B though.

Then I watched the second season of Venture Bros. with commentary on, which is making me want to get people together and make low-budget movies. My dad gave me a point and click digital camera! We could totally do this!

I'm so bored by life at the moment. It's a bit stupid. I keep fantasizing about going places and doing something, when really mostly what I've done is write essays and go and see Public Enemies (which was a wonderful, hilarious movie for how terribly it was put together; also, Billy Crudup played Hoover as totally gay, and that was awesome). And tonight I finally saw Half-Blood Prince, so go me. I'm mad because Draco was actually attractive/interesting in this one, and I've never really found him interesting or attractive before. This is grossly unfair. Also, I need more Remus. As always.

But overall I liked it.

So the celebrities are dropping like flies...

drworm — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 01:08:19 GMT

Ugh, I keep meaning to start an lj post and then just drifting off to something else. Oops?

I have a summer class--Lit in English II--at the moment. It's one I'm retaking, due to previous fail, and oh my god this professor. He's an older gentleman, for one, and so he seems to be more New Criticism oriented (New Criticism is the boring way to read things), which kind of sucks. We've spent a lot of time on philosophy stuff, because he tends to go on and on and on talking about stuff that I'm fairly certain could easily be summed up in 15 to 30 minutes. Arrgh, I don't need a ton of examples, just tell me the basics. I'm really appreciating the woman I had the first time I tried to take the course, since she was concise and generally interesting, even if I did have to hear a lot about Wordsworth maybe banging his sister. Dammit, I wish I could've gotten this done the first time around.

Then I'm sort of depressed at the moment just because I'm doing so little beyond that class. I've had so little energy, and that sucks a lot and drives me up the wall. Plus I've half-heartedly tried getting in touch with people, but the problem is that neither I nor any of my friends are good at coming up with things to do, so we tend to just waffle around for ages and not get shit done and then eventually give up and see a movie. :( I am not good at being social. Also, there's not much to do here.

Oh, and I got a new car!

The old car. I called her Squeaky, after Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme:

The new car. I'm calling it The Yellow Dart, even though it's more of a champagne color:

The brakes are already failing! It doesn't even have a real license plate, yet! How lucky am I? :( lol $2500 used car.

Finished Cemetery Dance...

drworm — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:33:53 GMT

Actually, I finished Cemetery Dance like a week or two ago. But things have been all over the place, so I'm only now blathering about it.

My basic reaction is torn between :DDDD and DDDD: or >:( because... Smithback, nooooo. Also, the whole damn plot makes very little sense and is the definition of needlessly complicated. But I was hoping for Pendergast and D'Agosta being detective bffs, and so they were. So I'll do what I usually do with these books, and ignore the bits I don't like. In fact, the Pendergast/D'Agosta exceeded my expectations, so I was super-pleased. It was like a special birthday present! (My birthday was on May 18th. I forgot to post this year. I was all out of sorts and not feeling well.)

Gotta love Pendergast reading Mademoiselle in the waiting room and being creepy about it. Oh, Aloysius.

Anyway, I stuck edited versions of all my Pendergast one-shot fic up on Dreamwidth.

In less happy news for me, my car abruptly started making a very worrying noise and not really wanting to go above 35 mph. Not a good sign. So that, plus a day of forgetting my medication and a stressful doctor's appointment triggered a really bad depressive episode. I've been grumping around the house, basically, rereading The Cabinet of Curiosities and hanging out with my cats, who are always delighted when I spend all day in bed. I, however, am less delighted. :/

[ETA: Okay, yeah, I'm a huge nerd, but you know who I have mentally cast as O'Shaughnessy in CoC? Tim Omundson aka LASSITER. Destined to play an Irish cop forever, if I were to get my way.]

Hey, check this shit ouuu-uuuu-uuut!

drworm — Mon, 25 May 2009 22:25:03 GMT

This is my big painting picture post. Keep in mind that all of these look so much better in real life.

A sharp picture with the flash and a blurrier picture without. Using this painting's color scheme.

This is my master copy of a portion of this painting

This is the nude from an in-class model. You can see I concentrated more on the figure than the background.

This would be my final, which was done from a collage of my own photographs. It's 40"x40", which is pretty sizable. You can see that the top right and center right are less finished, and that's because I did work on this for 5 to 6 hours before our final critique and... some stuff just didn't get done as much as I would have liked. Maybe someday.

Close-ups.

End of the year claptrap, blah.

drworm — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:40:22 GMT

School sucks, aaaaah. Final stuff is coming up on being due, so that's why lj replies and whatever are going to be... slow.

Things I should be ashamed of but cannot find the heart to actually feel shame for:

- I have watched High School Musical and enjoyed it.
- I saw 17 Again and enjoyed it. (You shut up, I like Matthew Perry.)
- I'm finding Zac Efron attractive. (Okay, this is worse.)
- I'm also finding Rick Astley mildly attractive, but that's unrelated to the other stuff.

Blasphemous, I know.

I also did stuff like taking pictures at the English awards ceremony and judging skits for Future Problem Solving and also reading a scenario at their awards ceremony. But I've also been having issues with my medication, which translates to struggling with school. Still, the semester will be over soon. I have a Shakespeare performance to do Monday (I'm Iago in a scene from Othello) and a revision to turn in for nonfiction writing on Tuesday, so I'm hoping getting those done will relieve some stress. But I also have this massive painting to finish for the 14th, which has been freaking me out. Especially since I've been missing class.

So that's my status and the reason I never update. Fascinating stuff. [ETA: Oh, also I have a dreamwidth account now. What I'll do with it, I have no idea, but there it is.]

On art and drive-by freak culture and what Crispin Glover taught me.

drworm — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:59:50 GMT

Today was Crispin Glover's 45th birthday, so a happy birthday to him, wherever in the world he may be.

Last night kleenexwoman and I had a surprisingly involved conversation about Crispin in which I realized how my feelings about him and about art in general have changed throughout the years, probably in such a way that they've become less fun but more artistically mature. On some level all this may sound very pretentious, but of course it's arising out of my own education in academia and in various cultural and artistic studies. If you don't care or if that's not your bag, I'm sorry.

What I began thinking about was Feral House and similar ventures, the status of the "atrocity tourism" industry, and the subculture's basic hostility toward "the other" even as they remain fascinated by it. The original train of thought was based upon the question of why a subculture centered around strangeness would be so hostile to members of outsider groups. But of course, in objectifying strangeness, it then becomes imperative that the observing group is as normalized as possible in comparison--aside from the whole gawking at strange or morbid things business, of course.

Which is an interesting little tidbit, especially since atrocity tourism sites (e.g. Portal of Evil) and publishers seem to be drifting off toward irrelevance as the Internet itself grows wider. It is somewhat telling that Apocalypse Culture II (which is the book that also contains Crispin's short essay "What Is It?") has an article on slash fiction called "The Pornography of Romance." It was written by Adam Parfrey of Feral House (also the editor of the book) and it describes slash writers as "middle-aged women, the kind you're likely to see pushing a cart at a Target outside of Des Moines" (147). The book's copyright is from 2000, and the convention he attended was in 1998. So, in this case, you can see that his concept of the subculture was woefully out of date even when he wrote it, as by the year 2000 young women in their teens and twenties were already dominating the slash and yaoi subcultures. They just didn't go to this sort of con. Gotta keep up, Parfrey.

So atrocity tourism has become not just less cool, but less meaningful and less socially relevant. How does this connect to Crispin Glover? The fact is that Crispin necessarily socializes with and gets lumped into the atrocity tourism subculture, because he often deals with the same images and appeals to a similar pool of viewers/consumers. Moreover, I think that for some people the act of atrocity tourism is as much about confronting the strangeness within ourselves as it is about confronting the strangeness in the world around us. I would venture this is how Crispin operates, rather than being a passive consumer of horrors. Well, I hope, anyway.

I'm not denying the cultural influence of underground publishing like Feral House, but I find it interesting to see how their era seems to be ending. What is the future? I don't know. Interestingly, this line of thought originally came up because I noticed that Crispin Glover--weirdo, crazy, out there, strange guy--has never had an actual gay role. And yet his father, Bruce Glover, absolutely and unambiguously did, when he played a gay hitman in Diamonds Are Forever. It's especially funny because it made me think of something an article said about Crispin: "Besides, in the age of AIDS, when most young male actors are trying to establish impeccably macho, more heterosexual-than-thou credentials (viz Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, et cetera), Glover's sexually ambiguous characterizations take guts." (Here.) Sexually ambiguous, really? Okay, Layne is. Sort of. And he did dress up as Olivia Newton-John for The Orkley Kid. But both roles are less gay than than his dad as Mr. Wint holding hands with Mr. Kidd as they walk off into the sunset in 1971. To me, that dichotomy really underscores the resurgence of homophobia during the eighties, even during a time of greater visibility. And let's not forget that Crispin played a character whose role was downright homophobic: his character, Lionel, in Where the Heart Is (1990), fakes being gay to get respect as a fashion designer. In the end, he's just another "nice boy," too shy to tell the girl that he likes her until the film's end. It comes off as a cop-out, as the character gets the girl he likes and appeases his obviously homophobic father. All conflict can be solved by being straight!

Then there's Crispin himself, in an interview done by Adam Parfrey (curiouser and curiouser): "There are people of this nature who are not into morbidity. Doesn't that sound gay? It's hard to say. Unusual? Not the norm? People who can see the absurdity of that which is considered the norm."

But hey, that was in 1992. People change. One of the wonderful things about being human and being observant is that you are allowed to change your mind over time.

I moved away from following Crispin too closely a couple of years ago as I started to realize that it's far too easy, as an artist and as an observer, to remain in the shadow of others. Artistically speaking, I don't want this. Sometime I feel like a child who is playing at being serious about the future when I talk about this, but I do think and I do produce art and writing and I do have ideas about what I want my future to be. I stopped following Crispin closely because I stopped feeling challenged by what he was doing. I outgrew him. It happens. But, looking back, I realize there are aspects of him and of What Is It? that I do find problematic, and did find problematic at the time.

I feel like, aside from the problematic use of the disabled in What Is It? and It Is Fine! (something I recognize as being potentially problematic but, really, have no firm opinion on), what is most lacking in the movies he's made is a kind of communication of depth and breadth of thought. Keep in mind, I'm coming out of art history classes, now, that are looking at modern and post-modern artwork. I feel like his emulation of art films and conceptual art in What Is It? basically lacked the kind of rigorous and central idea that more mature artwork has dealt with. In a way, it's almost discomfiting because the film almost resembles outsider art; but while Crispin may be something of an outsider to the fine arts culture, his Hollywood status assures him that he can never actually have that outsider artist identity. Perhaps it's not fair, but coming out of Hollywood the way he does imbues what he's doing with a different meaning, because of what Hollywood is, and I think this is an issue he needs to address and deal with in some way.

I'm also bothered by his coyness when talking about meaning or intent. He seems most interested in watching people's reactions to the film, which would be fine except that, by way of its subject matter and inherent strangeness, the film then hearkens back to the phenomenon of atrocity tourism or even "shock" images. Yes, trying to stir a reaction in the audience can be legitimate, but is it only meant to see who gets shocked and who projects meaning onto it? I would be more comfortable with it if in a lot of ways it didn't seem like he just wanted to push boundaries for the sake of pushing them. And I do think he has a cohesive meaning in What Is It?, but that's not what he chooses to discuss.

I've also been bothered by him referencing Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil and then admitting that he'd never actually read the work (this was at a Q+A). With something of this scale, you really need to do the research and be firm about your plan and your meaning. At the same time, I feel that what's he really interested in are the images he's taking--and there are some lovely shots in What Is It? But if that's the case, I want him to come out and say it, not obfuscate it with this "What do you think it's about?" nonsense. It's like he's trying to have it both ways, having a certain "depth" while at the same time remaining shallow enough for viewers to imprint upon, and it's the fence-straddling that comes off as amateurish.

As far as I know, Crispin never went to university or college (if I'm wrong, tell me). Being self-taught, then, and able to realize a project like this one is admirable, but at the same time I think he's hampered by not having gone through a formal art or film program of some kind. Or just a liberal arts education. Maybe this is my own academia bias or classism showing--although hell, you know he'd be able to afford it. Besides, Crispin has always been good for class-related pretension and snobbery. As in: "I feel that any music that has stanzas or refrains is procultural because it comes from a proletariat working class history that started at least from the serfs in the Middle Ages when they would sing in that fashion. It represents a middle class point of view and it makes people feel emotionally feel good about being a working class person. I feel that rock music is all procultural and people tend to get really mad about it." From this interview. Of course, Crispin's definition of "procultural" is often nebulous, and hampered by a lack of definition for the polar opposite: is it "counterculture"? "Anticulture"? What? Without strong, specific definitions, the term is meaningless.

I'm still loyal to Crispin, because he's been with me as I've grown up and he's been kind to me on the occasions when I've spoken with him in person. I have a lot of good memories centered around my enjoyment of his movies, books, etc. But life moves on, I guess. The people you had as heroes at age eighteen shouldn't be your heroes forever. I suppose that's the most meaningful thing Crispin taught me (though unwittingly)--aside from the fact that I'm not alone in my strangeness. And for that much, I do thank him and wish him well.

Fanmix: All Those Dreadful Little Cuts

drworm — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 01:00:55 GMT

Title: All Those Dreadful Little Cuts
Disclaimer: Files are mp3s of varying (mostly low/medium) quality and are meant for previewing purposes. If you like a song, check out the artist and support them! If it's possible, I mean. Some of these songs are harder to find than others. If you are interested in trying the books, the first five are here. Again, please purchase the books if you like them!
Notes: The songs on this are mostly a mix of punk, cabaret, and goth, which is intentional. That's Pendergast in a nutshell, as kleenexwoman said.

The back cover is presented as a smaller thumbnail because the content of the photo may be disturbing to some.

Download! Part 1 (58.31 MB) Part 2 (55.43)

Predator
[Carnivore]

For the Mbwun and Relic.

I sense that living human beings dwell below my feet
an important source of protein, you are what you eat
post Armageddon, neo-barbaric, the nuclear warriors due battle
to satiate our hunger we breed human beings as cattle
hunting in packs
ready for the attack
we eat our prey raw--rabid animals
frothing and ripping the carcass
we`re stripping our own, yes we're cannibals
eat or eaten
beat or beaten
I am on my life
rest assured
a predator

Museums
[Wall of Voodoo]

You'd think people would eventually catch on to how unsafe the Natural History Museum is and stop going. But you'd be wrong.

See the Rexes
When they hear the time
Bright lights are flashing
Keep your arms in line
We'll wander through the bones alone
Capture the beliefs of another god's world
In museums full of teachers on their field trips
Or so they say
At museums we can meet once more
And believe our lies
In museums

New York State Police
[The U.K. Subs]

It should really be the NYPD, since the state police are totally different. But that would sound less cool.

Headlights flashing me
It's the New York State Police
Slow down buddy, pull over there
It's the New York State Police
Where you come from, are you putting me on
It's the New York State Police
Come on boys let's go downtown
It's the New York State Police

Mr. Reporter
[The Kinks]

Both law enforcement and journalists tend to play major roles in every Preston and Child book, hence the inclusion of this track and the previous one. Of course, when we say journalists, we really mostly mean Smithback.

Hey, Mr. Reporter,
How 'bout talking about yourself?
Do you like what you're doing,
Or is it that you can do nothing else?

Underground
[Tom Waits]

For the Mole People and the Wrinklers in Reliquary.

Rattle Big Black Bones
in the Danger zone
there's a rumblin' groan
down below
there's a big dark town
it's a place I've found
there's a world going on
UNDERGROUND

Horrors Theme
[The Horrors]

For the Surgeon and Leng in The Cabinet of Curiosities.

Oh Doctor get up get up get up get up get up too long you've been asleep
A carcass in the bedroom, a carcass at the table, and this is all quite upsetting.
Presents for you all,
a flower for your mistress,
a complete denial of what's been done done done done get up get up.
Doctor put your gloves on, they may protect you from the stains,
tell the world you love her and tip from the jar the brain.
Climb to the top of the stair, pausing to reflect on the nature of your disgrace
Doctor, what did you expect? Get up get up.

Laughing Bloody Murder
[Cinema Strange]

Another for the Surgeon.

This is my indoctrination! Henceforth the tendon's cut!
The times when muscle fell from hard bone
The time has come for surgery!
I'll drag you down with me, too!
I'll make you drown with me!
I'll drag you down with me, too!
I'll make you drown with me!

The Fine Art of Poisoning
[Jill Tracy]

You can read this as being for Aunt Cornelia or for Leng, really.

It's quite an elaborate scheme
The fine art of poisoning
The dose to comatose
Slyly administered

Not for the frail of heart
The vengeful must play their part
A friend to the bitter end
Or so they say

Nice and slow
Misfortune will flow

People Ain't No Good
[Nick Cave]

This one is definitely for Leng and his misanthropy, though.

It ain't that in their hearts they're bad
They can comfort you, some even try
They nurse you when you're ill of health
They bury you when you go and die

It ain't that in their hearts they're bad
They'd stick by you if they could
But that's just bullshit
People just ain't no good

Murder of Birds
[Jesca Hoop ft. Guy Garvey]

For Job and for the crows, naturally.

I'm not a bird I'm a murder of birds
Shifting my shape when your tongue forms the words
Like I hate you when I love you the most, love you the most, love you the most

Song of the Stars
[Dead Can Dance]

I was listening to this CD when I was reading Still Life With Crows and it made a great soundtrack.

We are the stars which sing
We sing with our light;
We are the birds of fire,
We fly over the sky.
Our light is a voice;
We make a road for the spirit to pass over

Art Snob Solutions
[of Montreal]

For Brimstone, obviously, and Pendergast's snobby tastes. <3

Come on artists, the day is here!
And your mission is very clear
Put an end to the bourgeoisie
And death to everyone who’s never heard of me!

Tarot Americaine
World/inferno Friendship Society

For Diogenes and his tarot obsession.

I believe in a world of endless possibility
The queen of slaves, the mistress of misdeeds
The ripped dress debutante
The stuttering fool
I believe I am going to fuck you up
Oh yes, I do
Oh shit
God damn
I will kill you if I can
Oh yes
Oh man
Maybe far away or maybe real nearby, I am going to break your fucking back
Spread the tarot American and tell me what it reads

We're All Mad Here
[Tom Waits]

The Pendergast family is bugfuck insane, as we learn more and more in Brimstone and Dance of Death.

And you'll die with the rose still on your lips
And in time the heart-shaped bone that was your hips
And the worms, they will climb the rugged ladder of your spine
We're all mad here

Runs in the Family
[Amanda Palmer]

And insanity runs in the family! With the references to being knocked up, this also foreshadows what will happen to Constance. Who is, at this point, an honorary Pendergast. She's crazy enough, anyway.

Mary have mercy, now look what I've done,
but don't blame me because I can't help where I come from.
And running is something that we've always done well
and mostly I can't even tell what I'm running from.
Run from their pity, from responsibility.
Run from the country and run from the city.
I can run from the law, I can run from myself.
I can run from my life, I can run into debt.
I can run from it all, I can run til I'm gone.
I can run for the office and run for the cause.
I can run using every last ounce of energy.
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot run from my family.

Little Viola Hidden in the Orchestra
[of Montreal]

Oh Pendergast, your taste is so discerning and yet so horrible. I love how singsongy this is because, well, Viola is so creepily childish, especially in Dance of Death.

I will be a good boy and never tell you
The bad things that I think about
The nasty little things
I'll keep them to myself
I will be a good boy and never tell you
The bad things that I think about
The dirty little things
I'll keep them to myself
I will be a good boy and never tell you
The bad things that I think about
The sinister things
I'll keep them to myself

Girl Anachronism
[The Dresden Dolls]

Because Constance is the literal girl anachronism.

I am not so serious
This passion is a plagiarism
I might join your century
But only on a rare occasion
I was taken out
Before the labor pains set in and now
Behold the world's worst accident
I am the girl anachronism

Dance of Death
[Andrew Bird]

Duh.

[Instrumental]

... A Psychopath
[Lisa Germano]

Poor Constance, getting tricked by Diogenes in The Book of the Dead.

A baseball bat
A baseball bat beside my bed
I'll wait around and wait around
And wait

I hear a noise, I hear a noise
Well, I hear something
I am alone, you win again
I'm paralyzed

Cruel
[Tori Amos]

For both Pendergast brothers and their thoughtless (or thoughtful) cruelties.

Dance with the Sufis, celebrate your top ten in the charts of pain. Nah...
Lover, brother, bogenvilla, my vine twists around your need.
Even the rain is sharp like today as you sh-sh-shock me sane.
No cigarettes only peeled Havanas for you.
I can be cruel, I don't know why.
Why can't my bal-la-loon stay up in a perfectly windy sky?
I can be cruel, I don't know why, I don't know why.

Diabolical Streak
[Jill Tracy]

Diogenes and Aloysius are more alike than either would like to admit. For the diabolical in both of them.

Slave to good intentions
Mastermind the great
A victim to the culprit
Of finding out too late.

So I linger in the hallway
One story down below.
Longing for a .45 revolver
And a 62' bordeaux.
But you're the only one who can please me.

Mandala
[Ego Likeness]

And finally, in keeping with the pseudo-Tibetan themes of Wheel of Darkness...

These things once locked in silence
Now return to me
These things once locked in silence
Now return to me

Stoned and sold and left for dead
In a circle held in place in time
And if I choose to fall again
At least I know the choice is mine
At least I know this voice is mine

----

Covers made using:

- Olho de Boi and Dead Secretary
- a photo taken from a fashion magazine
- photos by the incomparable Joel-Peter Witkin

I didn't mean to disappear, honest.

drworm — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:53:33 GMT

Haven't posted for a while because I got sick on the very first day of my spring break. :( Isn't that always the way? Isn't it? Life: aggressively unfair. I think my body actually waited until it sensed that I had a break so that it could rampage through my weakened defense system. Nice! Also I went to the doctor and got some medication for a sinus infection, but it was Amoxicillin and I kind of think it did absolutely dick. So I have to go back. :( Argh, annoying.

Anyway, I'm working on getting things in line for the summer and the fall semester. School, aaaaaaaaah. It wound up even more overwhelming because I was sick and spent about half my break totally passed out. I'd planned to get stuff done over break, and so that didn't happen. So I spent the last couple weeks catching up and trying to research/write my art history paper, which I finally finished last Friday (it was due last Tuesday). And just, argh. Luckily it was a three page paper, so it's not like it was some massive undertaking. But now I have to write a couple of pages about a movie we watched. :/

Okay, anyway, I took pictures of my self-portrait that I did from one of those photos and with the Odd Nerdrum palette. It's not really finished, and I need to try to go in and do some touching up and etc., but here's what I have so far:

It needs to get lighter, basically, in the skin tones. I'm always a little too tentative about pushing value contrast. Overall, though, I'm pleased with where it's going. Also, I love oils. And applying paint with a palette knife. Oh, also, we're painting a model in the studio. It's going well, although again I'm too tentative with value so when my professor put a color that was almost white onto my canvas, I about had a heart attack. It looked better though. :/

Also hortonhearsawho and I went and saw Watchmen. And our non-fiction writing class is full of idiots, but that's nothing new.

Let's do a movie meme!

drworm — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 02:06:55 GMT

Took this from kleenexwoman. Let's play a game. Yay?

1. Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie

1) ~~"The only blasphemy is to wallow in insignificance."~~ Bride of Re-Animator, lily_lemony

2) "So where we going, House of Pancakes or The Sizzler?"

3) ~~"Start over? I'm almost done!"~~ Willard, kleenexwoman

4) ~~"Call it my woman's intuition, if you will, but I've never trusted neatness. Neatness has always been the form of very deliberate planning."~~ North by Northwest, kleenexwoman

5) ~~"I don't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer... apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog."~~ Hot Fuzz, elexandros

6) ~~"There are no happy endings because nothing ends."~~ The Last Unicorn, kleenexwoman

7) ~~"I'm a hawk!"~~ Fast Sofa, kleenexwoman

8) "This is fate we're talking about. And if fate works at all, it works because people think that this time it isn't going to happen!"

9) ~~"You think I was made in God's image? Take a look at me. You think He wears glasses?"~~ Love and Death, darkmistyday

10) "Of course, he was a Harvard graduate. That might be grounds for justifiable homicide."

11) ~~"There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window."~~ Die Hard With a Vengeance, kleenexwoman

12) ~~"I'm in the mood for a little vivisection!"~~ The Frighteners, kleenexwoman

13) ~~"But you have to remember that a worm--with very few exceptions--is not a human being."~~ Young Frankenstein, anna_salem

14) ~~"You see, you would have grown old while he remained young."~~ The Secret of NIMH, punch_ovaries

15) "Today is Thanksgiving Day for cats. But only if they came back from the dead."

16) ~~"Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?"~~ Arsenic and Old Lace, kleenexwoman

17) ~~"The normal question, the first question is always: are these cannibals? No, they are not cannibals."~~ Dawn of the Dead (original), punch_ovaries

18) ~~"Hey, hey, listen, guys. Look, I don't wanna mess with no reefer addicts, okay?"~~ Back to the Future, kleenexwoman

19) "Then, in the afternoon, we have a little treat. Dilaudid. Just because it's Saturday."

20) ~~"If only you coulda been my dad. We could have breakfast in the morning."~~ Rebel Without a Cause, kleenexwoman goddamn.

Please don't mock my terrible taste, lol. :/