My Journal is Alive ahhhh

Freedom

2013-03-16T16:46:45Z

After working in a cubicle for about 5 months it bothers me knowing this isn't something I want to do. I'm settling for something mediocre. This is something I've always known and for some reason thought I would eventually accept it.

School has put me in a better position but I never figured out how to work for myself. I do regret not taking that extra semester to enjoy campus life. Maybe I would have gotten more out of the experience.

Ehh oh well there's a lot I need to work on. Good things come to those that take it. I should be more greatful with the things I have and embrace the changes.

Goals hmmm

2012-09-28T16:39:38Z

I realize after all these years I need to simplify them and focus on them one at a time. My first goal was to get back into shape which I have and have stayed on a steady diet. So my next goal for now is to find another job. I've been following leads and looking online constantly. I realized if I wanted a new job I'd have to take $18hr instead of the $20hr I was wanting.

I don't see China as an option at the beginning of the year now. It's too much of a headache now and the not to mention the fact I could hurt my career if I moved. Besides my friends are great and I'm sure we can make something happen. We're older and smarter now.

Hmm I need to go fishing and clear my thoughts.

Post Grad and 30

2012-08-23T14:06:50Z

Life isn't great, but it's much improved. Turning 30 was awesome and I realize I can't hang like I used too. I've started hitting the gym again and running. Now, I need to start dancing and stretching so I can start teaching dance again. China is still an option but it's starting to become more trouble than it's worth. I should be getting more offers for jobs, but they keep passing me over. It's dumb because I'm not white.

Well if I get a daytime job before an offer to teach in China guess that means I'll start looking towards buying a house in the area and settling down. I have a great group of friends and if I want to disappear for awhile I can. Things can be fun in the area I'm meeting a lot of new people who live in cool places. If that job hires me and allows me to do virtual office then I may get a loft in Ellum. That would make things interesting.

I need a vacation even for only a few days.

Post Graduation

2012-07-07T20:45:39Z

What a long month I hurt my knee at dance practice for that MIB3 flashmob. Then I get some stomach problem and find out I have high blood pressure.

I'm still miserable at work. I maybe promoted but it's a long ways away and it still keeps me on nights. Companies I'm applying at aren't hiring or aren't interested. Even though it's only been a month it feels like a since graduating.

I'm leaning towards teaching overseas again. I'm looking at Dalian which is a coastal area in China where a lot of Korean and Japanese tourist visit. The other is Chengdu which is famous for spicy foods. It's a lot to think about.

Researching stuff is time consuming. Well time to fire up this grill.

Graduated

2012-05-21T15:57:18Z

Well it feels nice to be among the elite. Now, I'm contemplating on going super elite with the Masters. Not really I think I'm done.

The real job hunt begins. I told myself I would stay till the end of the year before committing to a teaching job overseas. Right now I'm focused on paying off my loans. I should have them paid off by February.

Soooo much free time yet so many things to do...........

I don't post here much lol

2012-02-13T21:33:17Z

School is moving along great. Senoritis is a bitch I don't wanna do shit. lol I'm actually learning a lot more technical stuff than expected in my hip hop class. I realized I didn't have much control of my moves so the class is helping me a lot with it. These simple changes make a difference. I was expecting to be humbled on timing and neatness since its routine based. It's almost like relearning a dance all over again. The hardest thing for me is timing my routine to 3min flat. It's a minor obstacle that I thought was easy. I have the vocabulary just have be more mindful of time.

Work is stressful, but at least I can do my homework during downtime. I've never wanted to leave and stay at a job so bad. The growing pains are affecting me, but the challenge in making it work is motivating. I promised to stay till the end of the year or at least graduation. Still have student loans to pay off. I'm liked but I'm not sure if it's for the right reasons. My feedback is acknowledged, but my skills aren't appreciated.

China is still on my mind, but the places I researched last year now require teaching assistance experience. I'm going to get more information my Linguistics professor on how to approach it.

Warrior Dash I'm doing that with some co-workers in April. It's a shame I haven't started running yet. It's just too cold to run. Oh well regardless I'm still gonna do it.

March is coming up so me and the roommates have decided to rent for another 6months. We were planning on looking for a new place, but I don't have the time to look and they don't want to move. It's fine in September I plan to be moving on to better things. Besides I can't be upset with paying $515-520 a month.

So much more to say, but I want to take a nap before hiphop.

Oh yeah one last thing it's almost seeing Jeremy Lin making his Lintroduction in the NBA as a starter. I may have to write my viral media paper on him.

6 sigma

2011-11-18T03:15:42Z

Lol it feels like I've been doing that all month. Oh well it looks like I'm making an impact.

so bored yet so interesting

2011-10-02T20:11:10Z

Well my Tuesdays going on into Wednesdays are killing me. I'm talking to people more in school, getting that college experience. It's kind of nice. My jazz class is pretty cool I'm really digging the music. Chinese Literature is a bit of a disappointment considering it's a history class. Hip hop is OK I can see how the instructor struggles to put together a decent routine at the end of the semester. My ritual performance class is really weird lol. Not really sure how to explain it. I see myself getting As except in Chinese Lit., but I'll have to step it up in that class. It's sad the white kids are doing better than me in that class. Oh well that's what I get for having a social life.

Work is interesting just disorganized with a lot of backstabbing. Oh well I just gotta last till the summer. Then, I'll be outta here. I plan on going on some trips this year. I want to go somewhere this year, but the only place I wanna go involves a nice sunny beach.

10 year reunion

2011-08-07T09:26:36Z

Well it was interesting to say the least. There were a lot of people that didn't show, that I wanted to see. Most people don't change, and that's for sure. I showed up late and dipped early. Ten more years till the next one.

charge it to the game

2011-07-15T03:45:03Z

*sigh I wish people understood that concept. They would go further in life if they didn't dwell so much on the negative.

The apartment hunt begins and hopefully, we find one soon.

Work has been stressful lately, being on the phone is really annoying. Hopefully, I will be working from home by September hopefully. It takes three weeks to get the equipment. I think they are weeding the people out slowly.

Some of my friend were talking about floating the river again. That's not a bad idea it would be a cool thing to do during my birthday week.

working from blah blah July

2011-06-30T08:11:16Z

In like a month I should be working from home. July is gonna be a busy month since we're moving into a new place. Hopefully, one with a pool. *sigh roommate's cats are such a pain. IDK what to say now. arghh Why didn't they approve my student loan for the summer? I could be in China right now.

update time

2011-06-22T05:38:43Z

Yayy the Mavs won woo hoo!!!! After all these faithful years of watching them, they finally did it. Can't wait for basketball season to start back up so I have an excuse to watch sports again.

The Arbitron job is going well, it maybe something I stick with until graduation. I can always do a job that involves talking people.

*sigh I wish I could be in summer school right now 6 more classes to go.

Well I'm not sure what else to say.

5 classes down

2011-04-28T07:03:20Z

6 more to go till graduation. Man I don't know what worse the classes or the scheduling.

This semester went by so fast. Looks like I'll have about a month of free time. Hmm vacation sounds nice.

geez so much death this month

2011-03-19T08:54:34Z

I hate seeing my friends have to deal with it. I shouldn't be surprised the years are catching up. It's eventually a matter of time.

On a side note school is almost over. Work is OK, but I am ready for a real job training people to do this wouldn't be difficult. Hermit mode will be in affect starting now till April.

semester is closing in fast....

2011-02-20T02:52:58Z

It feels nice and after the spring break I'll be ahead in school work. The semester hasn't been bad the days are just so long. The homework hasn't bogged me down yet. Wish I had found another class to take so I wouldn't have to take six in the fall. Still contemplating on taking a class in the summer or just taking the time off to enjoy it.

Work is OK I need more money for what I do. The days actually go by pretty quick. After, the semester is over I'll be looking for another job, but doing demos at bigger events. I had to yell at them Monday, because I found out they were going to pay a new hire more than me. It's funny the people at the stores think I'm like 22. One of them asked to hangout with me and I told them, they were too much of a liability. Damn, I remember being young good thing I never did the skinny jean thing.

My 10year reunion is this year, and I've been slacking on the gym since I hurt my shoulder. Starting Monday I'll be back on the workout routine. Not too worried about the reunion, because I do catch up with my high school friends from time to time.

Allstar weekend gotta love it. My favorite time of year for sports.

2011????

2011-01-03T07:43:32Z

Not sure what to think about this year. Well I'm taking 5 classes this semester and all of the professors on ratemyprofessor.com have good ratings. They are all electives so this semester should be kind of fun. I just hope there are not a lot of outside school events to attend. I can do four and not complain.

Work is going to be interesting. I demo products at Sprouts giving away free samples. It's interesting learning about food products.

My shoulder is recovery is coming along. I hope I'll be 100% by the end of the week. I'm going to start working out again. I need to keep my shoulder active and out of the cold.

2011 is going to be a year of distancing I think. A lot of my friends have gone through drastic changes, which have put them on different paths.

I'll be looking at schools in the summer to teach at in China. I'm hoping by the beginning of 2012 I won't be in the States for at least a year.

I can't wait for this semester to start.

The resolutions are simple this year.
1. Stay in shape
2. Get my degree with a 3.5 gpa
3. Pay down 5k on my student loan
4. Teaching in China at the start of 2012
5. Take two trips outside of Texas and go to SXSW.

other blog

2010-10-11T18:22:51Z

I've been posting on my blog for school which is why I don't update. Six classes is just too much.

http://defdefyen.blogspot.com/

dribblezz @ 2010-08-20T18:07:00

2010-08-21T00:08:13Z

6 classes about 20 books to buy thats around $400-$500 in books. Damn I'm figuring out why it's harder at the university level. Atleast it's not math. The major assignments aren't so bad from the looks of things there's only two classes I need to study for while others are just research. I see myself in the writing lab a lot.

Another year.....

2010-07-31T19:39:22Z

Well since the fall semester is closing in I've decided to focus on getting ready for it. A lot of my friends were happy I wasn't leaving while others felt my disappointment. The stafford loan is pretty cool and I figure I'd have it paid off in 4 years after I graduate. It's gonna be fun taking care of 17 classes within a year. I was really looking forward to teaching for two years and coming back to finish my BA, but oh well. This maybe a major life changing year for a lot of people in my network.

The funemployment time has come to an end which is crazy how long it lasted. Finding a job in my field is tougher now than it was last year. Since my school schedule is kind of crazy the only job I can get that fits my schedule would be a delivery driver or a waiter. Those are jobs I've actually wanted to do part-time because I get to display my outgoing attitude. Hourly I'd probably make more money doing that anyways. The dance jobs aren't stable enough and I put up with more nonsense. I'd still like to teach only because it prepares me for teaching abroad.

Teaching abroad is definately different with the language barrier. After comparing the cost of living with my salary in China I realized I could save $500 a month and that's living it up eating out everyday and going out four nights a week, also having a maid come in twice a week. The sacrifices I'd have to make would be to adapt to a Chinese diet which is cool with me. Something like chicken and rice would cost less than a $1 while a TsingTao beer would cost about 50cents. On the flipside if I were to get a coke it would cost $3 and a cheeseburger from mcdonalds would probably be around $3 as well. Not driving which is a dream a come true for me. The public transportation system is pretty good and runs 24hours. Even though I despise public transportation in Dallas I found out I actually prefer it in places like Vegas. I'm still excited about going next year and with a BA I have a lot more options to choose from. Along with finding part-time work while I'm there hosting conversation ESL sessions. The dance thing is also bigger out there as well. Once I get a year in Beijing it opens up a lot of offers to teach in other countries.

The bad about it is obviously what happened to me with the school I was supposed to teach at. If I had a BA and they sponsored my work visa that would of been a binding contract. I've still gotta research how to negotiate with the schools, landlords, and shopkeepers. They do take advantage of foreigners. Brushing up on my chinese a little more while I'm here would be a good thing. There's also identity theft where people end up giving away their passport ID# unknowingly. The offers I've gotten without a BA have been in places that aren't modernized where there's dirt roads. I even had an offer to teach in Kazahkstan, but after researching it I realize that's not the route I'd wanna take. Even though the school backed out our agreement I still learned a lot, and I'm still getting offers which let's me know there's still a need for it.

This still gives me more time to research the districts a little more. I would like to teach in Haidan that's the college district. College students pay a lot to host ESL conversation sessions. Also, who wouldn't want to be around college kids all day? I'd have someone to go to the discos with. It's still wishful thinking until next year sadly.

My parents are happy I'm not going because they still need me to take care of them. The sad thing is they're holding back, and they know there's away I can teach out there. Since, I do have family out there who can help me. I can't blame them their years are fading slowly. This is gonna be my zombie year where I'm just here. At this point I'm just being very negative right now because of boredom. It's my fault because I'm still here, and it's taken me this long to leave. Finding the motivation to go out is getting harder. My mindset is that making the best of things and looking at the bright side is the same as settling. I should be happy to spend my last year in the area before disappearing overseas for years. After knocking this semester out time is gonna fly by so fast.

Ain't that about a bitch!!!

2010-07-19T07:37:13Z

That quick sand feeling was in full effect. I drive all the way to Houston on Wednesday and back to get my visa. Then, the next day I get an email from the school telling me they found someone local. I'm applying at more places, but I'm not getting any replies. Not having a BA is really killing most of the opportunities considering to legally work as a teacher I need one. If I don't get another offer by August 1st then I already have my fall semester planned along with part time work. Plan B should be nicked named plan bogus because I'm still in this bogus ass city. I was gonna work there as a "student" which what a lot of foreigners do if a school is in desperate need of a teacher.

The main reason I'm focusing on Plan B is because of the offers I am getting. The people offering me jobs assume I'm in China already. They think my Associates degree is a BA for some reason until I break it down to them over skype. OMG chinese people are dumb!!! It's not a bad thing if I don't get a job offer. I was really looking forward to taking a break or atleast doing online classes while I was over there. After my first year of teaching I was planning on coming back to finish my BA. Having a BA with two years of ESL experience opens up more doors to teach in Hong Kong, Korea, and Japan later on. That was part of the reason why I wanted to start teaching earlier.

This is part of the learning experience atleast I'm experiencing a lot of the negative stuff. Houston is a nice spot to hangout during the day. I should go back to there to party a few nights. There's a huge asian community there, and the people seemed a little more chill. The other thing is I know how to pick and go. I had everything taken care of from someone taking over my part of the lease, a buyer for my car, an apartment over there, and even a place to store my stuff. Atleast I didn't start preparing my move before getting my visa.

It's embarrassing telling people I'm leaving one minute and the next I'm not. I know there's a few people that are happy I'm not leaving. Some who wish bad for me while others still need me around. This was one of those things I really wanted for myself. It's unfortunate that it may not happen this year. What the hell am I supposed to be doing here? That I can't do elsewhere. Me being upset let's me know I would not of backed out at the last minute.

I'm not that upset with the school's overall decision. When people think of an ESL teacher they are seeing an old white guy. Working the way I was going to work could of been a potential problem later on. Even people with the right qualifications work that way to avoid paying taxes. The school gets the fine while the teacher gets deported back home. For some reason even though we agreed on a date I knew they would back out of our agreement since it wasn't in writing. It couldn't be in writing because I wasn't working under a working visa.

Well I'll see what happens this week with everything. From the potential callbacks and what nots. It's time work on my lesson plans for my dance classes. Just in case I don't get a reasonable offer to travel. My classes are gonna be tough this year I plan to take 8-10 and take out a student loan. The grant only takes care of one class with books. If I take care of the majority of the classes now I can go to WMC in March. This is gonna be one of the wishy washy weeks with me planning two different life plans out.

On a side note I've got a court date in September for the fire. Zzzz sucks when you have a badass credit score because all of those dumbass collection agencies that bought this claim think they can collect. Thanks All State for wasting my valuable time. They better hope I don't find a valid reason to counter sue their ass. Hope they like wasting money on a case they can't win.

The date is set goodbye Dallas....

2010-07-11T10:28:53Z

August 1st I will be on a 30hour flight heading to Beijing. I will not be posting on this LJ anymore while I am in China, but I will have a ustream and another LJ account while I am in China so the public can read it. The website below is the school I will be at teaching english to 4-12 year old kids. I will be gone for 1 1/2 years to 2. Yikes I'll be 30 when I return back to the states. Once I get my visa approved I will set up the new LJ and my ustream accounts. Well I don't know what else to say. I'm going through one of those emotional rollercoasters of excitement and sadness. The one feeling I'm getting rid of is regret. I'll be posting on this a little bit before leaving. Hopefully I can log back onto this site because I hear in China some sites are banned. *sigh Changing my location to Fengtai District Beijing, China. If there's anything anyone wants to tell me please do it soon. Two years is a long time to be away.

http://www.efechina.com/

What a weekend.....

2010-07-07T04:48:05Z

Amazing how so much awesomeness and so much nonsense can happen within a 12 hour period. The nonsense can linger on for so long. Every year that passes I see people I cannot see anymore due to seeing their true colors. Blackballing people is something I never want to do and it's heartbreaking to do so. Logically it's the best thing to do, but emotionally it's devastating. I've been talking about the bad stuff all day, and it's still surprising knowing that I witnessed it. Just when you think someone would never do something like that they end up displaying their character flaws.

Character flaws are different from other flaws because these can actually be controlled. These are bad things people like doing to other people just because they get a kick out of it. People don't have to be perfect, but to have character flaws there's no excuse for it. Think of character flaws as the guy who sells crack to a pregnant lady. Perhaps the girl who purposely manipulates two dudes to fight over her just to eat up the attention. Avoiding these flaws is what makes a person perfect in their own way.

Now, the good stuff on the boat. At first it was pouring rain and once we got on the boat like magic it stopped. Dragonlazer threwdown some funky tunes warming it up for Ishi. Ishi killing it and us watching another boat pass by playing an Ishi track was priceless. I'm not a fan of live bands, but I'll watch them any day. I would say that boat party was way better than EDC probably the best time I've ever had in Dallas. Too think I was gonna miss it would of been a shame. Hands down the best party in Dallas this summer so far.

This weekend is gonna be interesting....................................................................... I wonder how many friends I'm gonna lose next year.

allergies suck

2010-06-24T05:11:44Z

Damnit coming back from Vegas to the Dallas humidity is no joke. Not sure what to expect this weekend either gonna checkout Beamers or go to Austin. In July I think I'm gonna be busy with school and work. It's temporary work, but it's cool something to get me by. Trying to fit this other job offer around my school schedule and it looks like I'll be doing the 3rd shift thing again. zzzz Great.... Oh well I'm getting sick of Dallas everyday I'm here so the schedule will keep me focused on what I need to do.

EDC was ok didn't see everyone because I got there like around 10 that heat and humidity was really killing me. Plus having the Vegas blues didn't help. Something about the westcoast makes me happy even on days that aren't so good.

Finding a new place to live well I might be doing that because our lease is up at the end of July. It's such a hassle, but if we get our rent reduced we'll stay where we're at. Me and the roomie get along pretty well no complaints with that. At times I wish I had my own place again kind of missing that.

Vegas

2010-06-17T04:55:29Z

Hmmm I really don't wanna recap this because it's all a blur. Let's just say I didn't steal a cop car or get raped by a rhino. It was fun but 4days is just too much. At the moment kind of having the Vegas blues only because I realize how much Dallas sucks. lol My crazyass might move out to Vegas I never took into consideration of all of the international tourists that roam around there. Then, again that's just the instant gratification mindset Vegas has put on me.

funny dream

2010-06-03T18:42:13Z

I was out in the country with a lot of black people. We we're partying in their backyard. Then the kids broke out into a water gun fight and one of the kids was about to get his butt beat. So I stood in front of him and let him walk out from the backyard so his dad wouldn't see his water gun. After he we leave I tell him that it won't take long for him to be 18. Then I get lost trying to fight the backyard where the party was at. I ended up at the wrong house a German group of people were throwing a party at their place. So I walk around trying to find this house and end up taking some sort of boat tour somewhere. I realize the boat is moving and rush to get off. In front of me is a family doing the samething me and one of their kids are drifting away from the dock. Then, I jump into the lake to get off and the kid does the samething. I keep apologizing to the lady telling her I'm lost and don't have any money which is why I had to do it. Then, soaking wet I walk and find a few members of the family sitting in the front yard. One of the family members won some sort of lawsuit where they are keeping the house. I pound on the door asking for my stuff back. He keeps joking around handing me garbage like a manican head and teasing me with my bag. So I kick the door open and walk towards him. I grab him by the neck and ask him again where's me stuff. Then, he calls for his a body guard a really big dude to save him. Still holding his neck I kick his bodyguard in the knee dislocating his knee cap. As he falls to the ground the family is screaming at me to stop before the police come. Then, I wake up.