this world is full of lies

kisses 3/19

doobb — Fri, 11 Oct 2013 03:08:32 GMT

Title: kisses 3/19
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: those are drabbles/oneshots on 19 different type of kisses baekhyun and jongin share under certain circumstances.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: inspired by this. welp, here have an apology for not having updated j2st ajhs.

take a ride - they're all part of the list - first time - kisses {+surprise +shoulder}

+stomach

It starts out quite innocently, the first time Jongin does, dropping his weight on Baekhyun on the bed where he’s sprawled on his back and holding his book up ready to get Jongin’s face in his sight, but surprised as the only thing Jongin does is tug his sweater up and breath against his navel, which has Baekhyun biting a chuckle and then he can’t fight it off, the muscles of his stomach tightening just a bit as Jongin presses his mouth against it.

He does it once, then twice and it feels like he’s going to be trailing up but all he does is kiss around Baekhyun’s navel, going around it and of course Baekhyun’s stomach is fluttering and he’s full on chuckling, borderline giggling which is awful, so he kneels Jongin’s leg.

“Stop that.” Baekhyun manages to slip in through fit of laughter that won’t stop and turn on his side, whining a little as Jongin climbs up his body and settles next to him, finally sliding in the space between Baekhyun’s book and his face to kiss his scowl away, also brushing his fingers against Baekhyun’s cheeks, warm and flushed from the earlier attention given to his abdomen.

+
Then it becomes a thing, how it even becomes a thing is beyond Baekhyun’s comprehension, like this isn’t even a kink, or is it? He asks as Jongin’s mouth replaces his fingers against his stomach and he shakes his head, because no, he’s not going through this again and they’re like in the library and they should be studying, not trying to get everyone’s attention on them.

Because of course Jongin bending in half to nuzzle his nose against Baekhyun’s stomach before slipping his fingers under and pressing his mouth where they were warming Baekhyun’s skin before was literally the best way to say hey, everyone there’s some crazy boyfriend of mine going on with this new weird thing he’s acquired power over.

Moreover because it makes Baekhyun laugh so Jongin should—Jongin should, Baekhyun squirms and almost hits his knee under the table, trying his hardest to not pay attention but grabbing Jongin's hair and tugging him back up forcefully.

“What is wrong with you?” He says voice controlled around a laugh that turns into a groan as Jongin just shrugs.

“It’s just really soft, you know,” Jongin answers and no, no Baekhyun doesn’t so he widens his eyes and shakes his head, knowing his face must be burning up, mostly because it’s like he can still feel Jongin’s mouth pressed against his mouth and the muscles of his stomach are straining, clenching up tight at the memory of them.

“Your skin.” Jongin says after awhile, a grin on his face and right, right but the thing is also that it’s very sensitive and Baekhyun needs to do something about this new obsession.

(Jongin tries to go back at it when he thinks Baekhyun’s forgotten about it and gets hit so hard in his ribs he scowls and gives up, pulling a hurt puppy face that Baekhyun sticks his tongue at and pushes his book over to Jongin side, mumbling a quick, study.)

+
It stops for a week or so, maybe because Jongin’s midterms kick in and he’s hit with realization that this has become his life and all Baekhyun can do is sit and give him a I told you look when he drops by sometimes in the apartment and cradles Baekhyun before he can hear the scold that comes with it as he admits that it wasn`t so easy after all.

Baekhyun doesn’t suspect anything, just lets his fingers slide in Jongin`s hair as he`s pushed to his bedroom and onto the bed, welcoming Jongin`s mouth with a soft sigh, scolding aside, he did miss him, a hella lot, he admits as Jongin slots in between his legs and smiles against his mouth, fingers trailing under Baekhyun`s shirt and fingers grazing his skin, it`s like a click then, Jongin freezes up and Baekhyun whines low in his throat before blinking up at where Jongin is then isn`t the moment he realizes a little too late that Jongin`s back at it and fuck why now.

It has an opposite effect though, because it’s been so long, and it`s half ticklish, half arousing and Baekhyun covers his face with his hands as Jongin’s mouth parts against his skin, lets his tongue take a quick lick, decide he likes it then more tentative licks then starts sucking and Baekhyun bucks off the bed involuntarily, this should stop, he thinks feeling mortified at his reactions, if he doesn’t, he’s going to regret it, he’s go—going harder, yeah but no—Baekhyun shakes his head and brings his hands to Jongin’s hair.

He means to stop him of course, except that Jongin’s mouth is close to his hips, close to the hardness in his jeans and he stutters around the words, only able to let out a moan he doesn’t successfully stop, which is why he feels Jongin’s smirk against his skin, it’s infuriating, Baekhyun doesn’t want him to go on, but doesn’t want him to stop either and then he’s sort of torn, writhing against the sheet, trying to make amend when he just gives in and oh fuck it, let Jongin’s mouth have at it, nipping, sucking kissing and licking until Baekhyun is sure he’s going to come from just that, he’s going to—god no.

When Baekhyun opens his eyes, post-climax drowsiness in his mind, he quickly shuts them again because Jongin’s satisfied smile is just there and ugh, “It’s been—” Baekhyun clears his throat around its hoarse sound, “I missed you.” He ends up saying and at least that gets Jongin’s smug face off, though what it melts down to isn’t good for Baekhyun’s heart, he realizes as he opens his eyes and keeps them that way even as Jongin’s shut close when he kisses his mouth.

Baekhyun’s busy his hands against Jongin’s cheeks, palms warming up against his skin before closing his eyes and biting down on Jongin’s bottom lip when his finger dip in what he’s sure is one hell of a painful hickey that Jongin’s mouth has left on him.

(It’s even more mortifying when later on as they’re playing tackle Baekhyun to the ground because we’re alive after midterms Chanyeol and Jongdae gets a sneak of his stomach, bare and they are hickeys everywhere, worse than what Baekhyun thought it was and they just laugh in his face and he sulks Jongin until all of it is gone because he deserves it.)

jamais deux sans trois 4/?

doobb — Fri, 28 Jun 2013 02:02:07 GMT

Title: jamais deux sans trois 4/?
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg-13
Summary: jongin didn't plan on being a father so soon, nor did baekhyun plan on enrolling as a permanent babysitter, but that's life, things never go the way you want them to.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: I'm so sorry it took so long, been trying to get back to it after breaking the chain when I got sick and ajhds this chapter was so hard to write i'm sorry cries a little.

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three |

It’s been awhile since the last time he’s had Minah all for himself, with no one else in the apartment but her usual either cheery voice, which wasn’t so cheery right now but quite close to the usual screeching she’d produce from her vocal chords when she was hungry.

Jongin’s trying to finish warming her bottle, which—true, Baekhyun warned him that he better not get her back on baby bottles until she’s used to the baby food, but he’s not the best cook around here, unless some nanny—babysitter, is Baekhyun even a nanny, would he be offended if Jongin labeled him as such?

He probably wouldn’t be, he doesn’t look like the type to be offended by such little things. Though, Jongin isn’t usually good in figuring people out, Sehun’s good at it, even if he keeps it all to himself anyways. Like how he never told Jongin that he’d figured he was lonely that night when they almost slept together.

It wasn’t really an almost—it’s just Jongin doesn’t remember any of it so all Sehun told him was that it almost happened and well, Jongin blamed it on the alcohol, but Sehun told him much later that he knew it wasn’t the alcohol because Jongin got drunk once and it didn’t end up in them fu—almost fucking.

Minah’s voice starts invading his ears and he turns to look at her, startling back to reality only to realize he’s been holding the bottle away from her mouth and she’s close to wailing at this point so he just hands it to her and watches her with a smile as she immediately puts in her mouth.

“Sorry, I went a little in my bubble world.” He mumbles, leaning in close to her face and sighing when she barely looks up at him, sparing him a second of attention before returning to her milk.

“Milk over your dad?” Jongin tsks, and goes to take the seat facing hers. It’s great that she can sit now; thinking back on the time when she couldn’t do much, not even hold her baby bottle made him already feel nostalgic.

Sehun would probably mock him, but really, time goes by so fast he’s afraid she’s going to grow so much at one point he won’t even have time to see it pass by.

It’s a bit fascinating, he always wanted to grow up so badly and never once considered how his parents saw him, but sitting there and facing Minah with half of her bottle emptied, there’s a lump in his throat as he thinks about the time when she’ll start being that way too.

She will probably ask him to stop calling her nicknames if he ever gives her some along the way, she’ll probably not like the same things as him, and she might like boys he won’t like.

Soon as his mind wanders off to that direction he knows he needs to stop, he tends to think too much about the future when he’s not sure of where it goes and one thing is sure, being a father has brought upon him this uncertainty about anything he ever does with his daughter.

Those uncertainties are based on some fears he has, which apparently are normal fears, or so it was said on the father forum he checked during the first month. But really, no matter how some overcome the fears, Jongin doesn’t think he will ever overcome his. He’s always going to be scared to screw this, screw her over, make her turn worse than he was with his parents.

If she ever hated who he was to the point of wanting to cut ties at one point, he wouldn’t know what to do, how to react, he doesn’t even like the thought of it right now. It makes him think back about how his parents must have felt when he told them he wasn’t their son anymore and—Jongin shakes his head, he doesn’t like thinking about it.

Fortunately, Minah’s bottle is now empty and she starts making happy noises that distracts him.

He should call someone, Sehun maybe, what’s the day today? He’s not sure anymore, but he pulls his phone out, mimicking Minah’s voices and sounds while she laughs and just goes on and on even after Jongin stops so he can answer when he hears Sehun’s voice.

“By all means, continue to make stupid sounds while you’re on speakers.” Sehun laughs at the end of the line.

“What?” There’s a frown on Jongin’s face as he reaches a hand that Minah’s fingers closes on, only being able to hold onto his thumb, so he forms a fist and sticks it out for her.

“Nothing, why are you calling?”

It’s not nothing, but Jongin’s too distracted to care.

“Come over, Minah wants to see you.”

“More like you want to see me.”

“Maybe.” Jongin sighs, “You’re coming or not?”

“Yeah, okay, I have nothing to do so tell Minah to wait for me, I’ll bring her gifts.”

“What about me? Can I have gifts too?”

Sehun scoffs, “Hell no.”

Jongin expects the answer that comes but he huffs at it anyways, sticking his tongue out as Minah looks up at him, as if she knows what’s being said over the phone involves her. She just giggles and Jongin’s face softens, until she leans in to try to stick his thumb in her mouth and he shakes his head.

“See ya.” He quickly tells Sehun and hangs up, then, “Don’t eat that, you naughty girl.”

She laughs even more and then starts whining in her high chair so Jongin stands up and opens it to pull her out,. She rests her head on his shoulder when he takes her in his arms and he sighs, looking around the room, feeling a bit odd at how quiet it just feels right now.

He did good by calling Sehun because after having had company for so long, it’s just so quiet he could go insane with it. The way Minah is also reacting oddly calmly compared to her usual mood swings makes it even worse.

“You miss him too don’t you?” Jongin asks his daughter, knowing well she probably doesn’t understand what he means, but going on anyways, “It’s different now, isn’t it?” he sighs and presses his mouth against the top of her head.

“Maybe we could wait for him until he gets home.” Though he’s sure Minah will be asleep, but he could wait. He also frowns as something comes back in his mind about yesterday night, but shakes it away with his bangs moving along with the gesture, can’t be, he thinks with a sigh, worrying his bottom lip, teeth lightly sunk in the flesh.

As he moves to stand up and make Minah burp, his eyes fall on the note he found this morning when he woke up and he frowns as a moue settles on his face, if not for this, it would have felt like Baekhyun never ever lived in this house. Well, that and how empty the house seemed without him around.

He might have dreamed it, whatever happened yesterday he decides, because Baekhyun doesn’t look like the type to just let that kind of thing slide by. So he probably would have wanted to confront Jongin about it, if he didn’t, it must mean it never happened.

Even if it doesn’t make it less mortifying, because that means Jongin dreamed about Baekhyun and alright, the guy isn’t so bad—be honest—Jongin shakes his head, he’s being honest, he’s just his employer, not even for that long yet and even if he somehow grew an attraction to Baekhyun, it wouldn’t lead anywhere.

He’s got already a big messed up life, a daughter to raise, a career to not let crumble and relationships he only knows how to screw so far. The only people who actually stayed and still stand him without any faking, the ones he trust through anything are Chanyeol, Luhan and Sehun, and he might never actually get less lonely with them but at least, he knows no matter what they’ll never turn their backs on him.

At least, he hopes that never happens.

Sehun shows up and Jongin isn’t that surprised when two other heads he hasn’t invited show up as well, Luhan passes right behind his stretched arm and immediately starts calling for Minah.

“She’s not a little dog you know.” Chanyeol reprimands, also ignoring common manners and lifting Jongin’s arm so he can follow right behind Luhan.

Never mind, Jongin thinks as Sehun pats his shoulder and walks inside with him, closing the door behind them, those might not be the friends he was referring to earlier. Luhan ignores Chanyeol complains as they found Minah on the carpet of the living room, holding a bouncing ball and running after it as she drops it and picks her up right before Chanyeol can do so.

“Hah, got her first.” He chimes then, holding her up and swirling away from Chanyeol’s grasp.

“You have to share.” Chanyeol exclaims, following Luhan with a pout he sometimes wears well when he wants to get what he wants.

“Don’t treat my daughter like a toy.” Jongin protests, standing still, arms crossed over his chest, but there’s an amused smile on his face that tells them he’s not being that serious.

“How else are we supposed to treat her?” Luhan asks, looking serious for a moment as he rocks Minah in his arms and looks over her shoulders, finally seeming to acknowledge this is Jongin’s house and Jongin is his friend.

“Like a baby?” Jongin frowns, rolling his eyes at even answering the question when he knows he’s only being teased, like always.

“Maybe he’s just being his grumpy self.” Chanyeol adds in, suddenly happier now that he can touch Minah since Luhan’s stopped moving, he pokes her cheek until she starts chasing after his finger to gnaw at it with her growing teeth.

Jongin watches with a sort of delight as Chanyeol winces and quickly pulls his hand out.

“Oh, did I forget to tell you she’s teething?”

Chanyeol shots him a glare as he snickers, his eyes moving to Sehun who follows with Jongin’s amused little laughter, before he sighs and steps away from Luhan and Minah, suddenly tuning a serious expression on his face.

“Well, I’m not here to play anyways.” He suddenly announces.

Jongin knows this face, if Chanyeol shows it, it means there’s no room for jokes or plays anymore, just work. So that must be why he showed up too.

“We should head somewhere else.” He adds and Jongin nods.

He starts following Chanyeol to his office, but not before turning around to tell Sehun, “Don’t let him eat my baby.” While tilting his chin to Luhan who somehow catches the words and grabs a cushion, hitting him in the chest with it.

“Go away.”

Jongin laughs, throwing the cushion back at Sehun who catches it and falls on the couch where Luhan’s also made himself comfortable, with Minah on his lap, struggling until he lets her down on the carpet so she can chase after her ball again.

“What is it?” Jongin asks soon as he closes the door and turns to face Chanyeol handing him some papers.

“I found her.” He just says.

Jongin takes hold of the papers, a frown on his face as he starts flipping through the pages it holds, he’s asking “Who?” as he does so, but Chanyeol doesn’t need to answer, he sees the name and immediately recognizes it as the one left on the note that accompanied Minah’s basket when she got dropped off at the front of his door.

“You were still looking for her? I thought I told you not to.” Jongin mutters, quickly shutting the information away from his eyes and raising an annoyed expression at Chanyeol.

“Yeah, but well, you might need it one day, I didn’t just look for her, I looked for where she might be and it looks like she’s living a good life while you’re here taking care of a daughter you both made.” Chanyeol tries to explain, looking a bit sheepish as he scratches the back of his head.

That’s like him though, Jongin has to give him that, he always does thigns he knows will be good for his friends, or at least thinks will be good for them.

“It’s her life, she didn’t want Minah in it.” He knows that part all too well, and he doesn’t blame her. He didn’t want her either when she got dropped off at the front of her door, but guess he just isn’t as selfish as the woman who brought her to life.

“You can’t blame her, her career would take a toll if someone ever found out.” Jongin shrugs again, walking to his desktop and dropping the papers in the trash bin next to it. “I don’t need this.” He adds and shrugs.

“You’re sure?” Chanyeol asks.

Jongin nods, he’s sure of it, he might have had some doubt if it was months ago, but right now he really has no doubt as to whether or not he wants her to have anything to do in Minah’s life, the answer being that he really doesn’t want her to come back. This is her choice, and she better keep to it, knowing her though, he knows she will, she’s always been as selfish as ever from the first time he met her before she got to the top.

“Alright,” Chanyeol adds, laughing a bit while lowering his head and straightening, “That’s a good choice.” He says again and pats Jongin’s head, in a gesture Jongin recoils at and quickly moves away from.

“You need to stop doing that.” He groans, annoyed.

“Why? It’s so fun to see you get all adorably mad.” Chanyeol just laughs and does it again.

“Stop, why do I keep up with this?” Jongin retaliates by swatting his hand away hard enough for it to hurt, he hopes it hurts as he starts walking out of the office.

Chanyeol just bursts out laughing behind him, holding his hand against his chest and rubbing it lightly, “Hey, where’s Baekhyun?”

Jongin stops at the door, “Went to a party.”

“You let him go?” Chanyeol asks, following behind as Jongin opens the door to go back to the living room.

“Hm, yeah?”

“Why? He could meet someone new and get swept away!”

“Was I supposed to lock him and tell him not to go?” Jongin snorts, barely sparing a glance at Chanyeol who rushes to his side and bumps his shoulder with his.

“Of course! Reserve him for me, or at least try to stir things up with him?”

“Stir—you always have such absurd thoughts.” He sighs, not knowing if this should sound funny or not, but somehow he ends up laughing a bit. Trust Chanyeol to say things related to events that you’ve tried to hide away, Jongin thinks as his tongue quickly swipes at his bottom lip, tucking in and purses his mouth.

“It’s not absurd, you haven’t gotten laid for months, well ever since Minah came in and even before that.”

“Alright, stop right here, there won't ever be anything between us because—” Jongin stops to turn around as Chanyeol interrupts him.

“Don’t bring the employee and employer bullshit into this, it’s a stupid excuse, if you like the guy you should just go for it, or even for just a little fuck, you might regret it if you don’t od anything before he leaves.”

Jongin’s almost tempted to say that something did happen, but then his mind catches on, it was a dream and he shakes his head, maybe a little bit too late because Chanyeol’s face brightens.

“Something happened?!” He says a bit too loud and Jongin tries to deny it, because no it didn’t happen but then all ears and attention’s on him now and there’s no getting out of this is there?

“Nothing happened.” It’s not a lie, but well, if the subconscious mind really dreamed of things you wished happen, then—he takes a deep breath in and cannot believe the flush that starts to creep up his cheeks, “I just had a dream,” He mumbles and as soon as he sees them all looking a bit too expectant and amused he shakes his head and arms, “It wasn’t that kind of dream!” he quickly protests before Sehun can even open that mouth of his and talk about anything related to Jongin’s sexual frustrations.

“Then what kind?” Sehun asks, since he already had his mouth open.

“I don’t know,” Jongin frowns, now that he has to say it outloud, it sounds a bit more embarrassing and he really shouldn’t say this out loud, it might make things a bit too real, might make the dream turn into a want he doesn’t need right now.

“Spill it.” Chanyeol’s hand meets his back a bit too violently and he stumbles forward with a wince.

“A kiss, it was just a kiss, I think I kissed him.”

“You dreamed or you did it?” Sehun again, asks, looking suddenly all too interested.

“It was a dream.” At least he thinks it was a dream, or more like he hopes it was one, it can’t be real, that’d be bad.

“You don’t look too sure.”

Jongin walks to the couch and shoves Sehun away so he can settle down on it, “I’m sure, certain, absolutely sure.” He nods along to his words and tries to pay more attention to Minah coming towards him as he holds his arms out to her once she posts him than to the snickering he can hear around him.

“Was it good then?” Chanyeol bursts through the obvious mocking laughter and Jongin doesn’t even want to answer that, so he ignores Chanyeol’s question, even as it is repeated and then repeated in a more annoying way, until he’s whining and Luhan has to slap the back of his head for him to stop.

“That hurts.” Chanyeol starts whining to Luhan now who chains on in a bickering where Sehun just enters to back up Luhan and annoy Chanyeol just even more.

Jongin laughs at their voices, at Minah jumping on his lap until she looks up at him as he stops and he sighs. It’s not like the kiss lasted for more than a second, so he can’t say if it was good or not, just that it was soft and brief, so brief that it could only be an illusion, something so subtle only his subconscious could have made it.

But somehow, maybe, he should ask Baekhyun if anything happened.

It’s not that it’s boring, or that he can’t have fun at a party, but guess he just isn’t used to it. Where he is from, when they say a party is going down, it means most of the people who are going to be there don’t even reach the number of twenty, because there isn’t that many young people there since they all leave for bigger dreams.

So it’s quite a change, sitting at the bar where Jongdae left him an hour ago, he knows the time because he’s been stuck on his phone, sending texts to Kyungsoo.

[To: soosoo
From: baek
Text: it’s not that boring, they are so many people, that’s all.]

He’s waiting for Kyungsoo’s reply as he finally downs the second glass of some drink he doesn’t even remember the name of. The bartender asked what he wanted and he just said whatever’s good, only to end up with the bitterest type of drink he’s ever tasted. It burns down his throat, and he could order something else, but what if the choice only got worse?

Which is why he got stuck with a second glass, but thinking back on it, his logic is quite stupid.

His phone vibrate finally getting a reply but before he can tend to it, someone’s hand snatches it and he looks up, letting out a protesting sound that ends up in a smile when he sees Jongdae.

“Give it back.” Baekhyun asks, holding his hand out.

“No, you’ve been on this thing for an hour when I’m sure I’ve seen some people interested in chatting you up, I didn’t bring you here for you to look so sullen.” Jongdae grins then and Baekhyun can tell, he’s had a bit to drink from his breath, which isn’t such a bad thing, he’s been drinking too but Jongdae leans in and almost stumbles forward, which shows he might have taken more than two drinks.

“Oops, sorry, but hey, why aren’t you having fun?” He asks, leaning against Baekhyun’s side and sliding an arm across his back. Baekhyun’s noticed Jongdae’s the type to get chummy with about anyone even at first meeting and he’s also the same for sure, but still, he’s plastered a bit too close into his comfort zone.

“I don’t know.” Baekhyun shrugs, giving out a white lie.

“Will I have to get you drunk so you can at least move your body?” Jongdae threatens but there’s a chuckle that follows his words, “Wait.” He seems to get an idea as he pulls away much to Baekhyun’s relief who relaxes in his chair and reaches for his phone, still in Jongdae’s grasp.

“I know what could get you to loosen up.” Jongdae’s hand quickly tighten around the phone as he catches Baekhyun’s action and he hides it behind him.

“Oh, what is it?” Baekhyun asks, with a frown, guess he would have to get along with whatever plan Jongdae has in his little mind now if he wanted to get his phone back.

“Follow me.” Jongdae says, immediately grabbing Baekhyun’s arm and tugging him off the high chair. Baekhyun makes to protest, but he stumbles a bit on his feet, looks like he wasn’t so far from getting drunk, he doesn’t have the time to ponder on it though before he’s dragged all the way through the dancing crowd, music banging in his ears loud enough to have him cringe until the noises fade and he realizes Jongdae dragged him to another room.

Baekhyun feels himself being freed as he looks around the room, but he can barely see anything, it’s filled with smoke and there’s still music, but not too loud, just enough to hide people’s voices when they’re talking. He can spot various forms on the couch, or on the ground and as Jongdae walks in while Baekhyun wonders how he even finds his way with barely any lights in the room, someone stands up and walks up to them.

“Was wondering where you went.” The guy says as he stops by Jongdae’s side and slips his arm around his shoulders, then looks behind at Baekhyun, “Who’s that?”

It’s quite rude because he just stares at Baekhyun for awhile and waits for Jongdae to pull on his arm and make him stand at the other side, “Baekhyun,” then say that, as if it’s good enough of an answer (turns out it is because the guy just nods), but Baekhyun’s too tipsy to say anything back so he just accepts his hand when the guy stretches his arm and introduces himself.

“Yixing.” He says as Baekhyun grabs hold of his hand, giving it a light shake.

Baekhyun gives a curt nod, and anyways Jongdae who pats Yixing’s back, “Bring me one” interrupts him with this sort of order and is there some kind of code under Jongdae’s words? Because it seems he never ends his sentences but Yixing gets it anyways all he does is nod, go back inside of the room where Baekhyun follows with narrowed eyes, the smoke’s been disappearing for awhile, or maybe his eyes are just getting adjusted to the sight.

“What is he going to bring and where’s all this smoke from?” Baekhyun inquires, not minding anymore the way Jongdae plasters himself against his side, laughing a bit against his neck, breath warm and a bit moist.

“A little something, you’ll like it.”

Baekhyun’s not so sure about the statement that he will like it, especially since he’s starting to get a little idea when he takes a good look around and he shakes his head, if this is what he thinks it is, if those people are actually smoking something else than a usual smoke and if those in the back are sniffing on what he might consider is drugs—why is he censoring in his mind again—he shakes his head and shrugs Jongdae’s head off his shoulder.

“Hm, drugs?” Baekhyun asks, turning to give Jongdae what he hops is his best are you fucking with me? look.

“It’s not that bad.” Jongdae tries to reassure him but Baekhyun’s already backing away a little.

“Look, I have nothing against you doing it or anyone else who does it for that matter, weed or anything else, but I’d rather you don’t try to pull me in this.” He definitely didn’t leave his family behind to fall in that, and he definitely wouldn’t just sit and smoke what he now recognizes as joints when Yixing comes back and holds two to them.

Jongdae takes them both and tilts his head, giving Baekhyun a grin, like he hasn’t understood that it’s a no from Baekhyun and hands him one.

“So you’re not going to try?” Jongdae asks, already putting his against his lips, he gives a casual shrug as Baekhyun doesn’t answer, just quirks an eyebrow and slides his hands in his pockets, as a sigh escapes his lips and he shakes his head.

“I think I’ll head home.” Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“Come o—” Jongdae looks a bit taken aback as he stops and hands the joints to Yixing who immediately nonchalantly pulls on one of them.

“No really, I have work tomorrow too.” Baekhyun is already walking out of the room with Jongdae following behind.

“Hey, Baekhyun, wait.” Jongdae calls and this time manage to grab Baekhyun’s elbow before he can lose him in the crowd, “I’m sorry.” He says soon as Baekhyun stops and turns around. Truth be told, it’s not Jongdae’s fault, he’s probably used to this and he just wants to make Baekhyun feel more at ease and it’s appreciated really, maybe he’s taken this a little bit too wrong.

“Don’t be, it’s just.” Baekhyun sighs, “I didn’t come here for this, it’s not just you though I’ve been trying to forget something and yeah, it would help if I took a joint or two but then I wouldn’t feel good about it afterwards.”

“I get it, I shouldn’t have just—look, it’s fine, but don’t be mad at me.”

“That’s a bit too much to ask for,” Baekhyun scoffs, pulling his arm free, “Let me be mad until tomorrow at least, then I’ll drop by your music store tomorrow and we’ll talk.” He adds as the only way to say that it’s alright, he won’t stay mad forever and well, aside from this little incident that really got out of hand, Jongdae’s not so bad to hang around.

“Alright, that sounds good.” He grins at Baekhyun who reaches a hand to pat his shoulder.

“I’ll leave now.”

“Wait.” Jongdae stops him again before he can turn around and it takes him about three seconds before shaking his head and letting out a sigh, “Nevermind, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Baekhyun nods, a bit curious as to what he’d been up to saying but shrugs it off and starts walking away.

It doesn’t even take him ten minutes out of the party to feel bad about how he just went ahead and kind of made a dick of himself. Still, not taking the joint was a good thing, he really wouldn’t have been proud afterwards, but he could have at least acted like he enjoyed himself, even if he didn’t.

He’s pretty sure he will apologize tomorrow, soon as he can.

But now that he’s out of the suffocating atmosphere, there’s nothing but the fresh breeze that hits him and clears his mind, starting to think about where he’s going is just a normal thing, even though he’s stil not sure if calling it home in his mind is even a good idea. It can’t be home since it’s not the place where he’ll be staying indefinitely, there will be a day where he has to leave, hell he even knows when he’ll have to leave.

Still, Baekhyun’s been thinking and there’s just this sense of belonging that he just feels towards it, maybe because of Minah. Who wouldn’t want to belong where she is? Probably that people who don’t like babies wouldn’t, but he’s grown fond of her so quickly, it’s easy to not think too much about anything else.

Also, Baekhyun’s not the type to run away from problems. He really isn’t, he’s honest with his own feelings and everything else, and he can recognize when he’s being a coward or not and he just knows what he did this morning was run away like a coward. Man, how old is he again?

He should be able to handle getting kissed a bit less emotionally than right out walking out of the apartment like he did, in the morning when his meeting with Jongdae was during the night. Because of that he had to walk and visit a lot and sit at the music store for about ten long hours before they could head to the club.

Maybe that’s why he ended up in such a pissy mood. So maybe he’s a bit too old to make such a big deal out of a kiss, though twenty and more isn’t that old. Or maybe it’s jus that he’s not even sure of the reason why it bothers him so much, so much that he isn’t even sure of how he will react if he sees Jongin right now.

The thing is, it was so subtle, so fast, gone before Baekhyun even realized it, just as the compliment was also brushed aside so quickly, but then he was left with a sort of frozen mind afterwards and with this panic in his chest that had him just walking out of the room, mind blank, heart at his throat until he was in his room, feeling a bit safe but with a sense of downing reality that this fucking stupid shit affected him and feeling a bit angry at himself.

That’s right, anger, it’s also a feeling he went through the whole day while browsing through everything without being able to focus on anything but this boiling feeling in the pit of his stomach as to why did Jongin do that?

Yeah, he was half-asleep, maybe even asleep, so there was also the possibility that he might have taken Baekhyun for someone else, maybe someone in his dream. Soon as the thought comes back to him, Baekhyun stops as he steps out of the taxi and balls his fists at his sides, that’s frustrating, he isn’t even sure if it holds anything or if he has to just let it go.

He’s been trying to figure a way to approach this, like he could go about it as if nothing happened, chances are Jongin might not even remember it. But the prospect of Jongin not remembering having kissed him is also something that makes him want to hit him square in his face because it’d mean Baekhyun’s been biting his nails off it and he’s just been normal.

But then—then at the end of it all he has to still go up the building, get inside of the apartment and if Jongin’s still awake face him with the most unsuspicious expressions he can pull off. He can do that, of course, if it was nothing to Jongin then it can also be nothing to him. Actually why does he even need to persuade himself of that? Of course, it’s nothing.

It’s not that much of a relieving thought, but it has enough strength to let him finally step inside of the apartment, feeling a bit better about this whole pathetic thinking, he’s even tempted to pat himself on the back and maybe whisper a fighting out loud, but he just ends up saying it in his head.

That’s even more pathetic, but it doesn’t matter anymore.

It’s like God was just waiting for him to finally come back home so he could face reality, because soon as he closes the door—even before it clicks and locks itself automatically Jongin’s voice catches him off guard and he turns around startling a bit.

“Sorry.” Jongin says when he notices Baekhyun got a bit scared, “I didn’t mean to—scare you, I just,” he stops as Baekhyun waves a hand.

“It’s okay.” No, it’s not okay, this is not alright at all, what if he’d gotten a heart attack, hell he could have died, but he really doesn’t think he can say all of that with how tight his throat is and he might have to explain why he’s so jumpy just because Jongin said hi soon as he walks in, it’s normal of him to do that, of course.

“How was it?” Jongin asks then, he’s on the couch and alone apparently, though there are a lot of things that kind of tells Baekhyun other people have been there.

“Hm,” He answers absentmindedly and catches the question only when his eyes that are drifting aside fall on Jongin, who has his eyebrows quirked up, waiting, “What—sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Are you okay?” Jongin ends up asking instead.

It gets worse when Jongin gets off the couch and Baekhyun realizes he’s wearing just a pair of sweatpants, and wait how come he didn’t realize that detail before so he could have avoided having to look away and then scolding himself because god dman it, Baekhyun, he’s a guy.

“I’m okay, yeah, just a bit tired.” Which isn’t that true, and he suddenly remembers that he’s had two drinks and it might be the reason why his mind is such a jumble right now as he also walks towards Jongin at the same time as Jongin comes toward him.

“Did you—have company?” He asks, waving a hand towards the bags of chips and bowls empty of food on the table.

“Yeah.” Jongin’s eyes follows his hand then comes back to him, “Chanyeol, that you’ve met and two other friends, as well as Minah who was great company.”

Soon as he hears her name Baekhyun laughs a little, realizing he’s missed her. At least one thing he looked forward to coming back to today. Which is why he kissed her goodbye before leaving this morning of course and made sure to leave a note to Jongin about how he’s to not give her anything bad and treat her well while he’s away.

“Is she asleep?” Although by the way the apartment is so quiet, he knows the answer before he sees Jongin nods.

“Say,” Jongin talks before he can put another word out, before he can excuse himself then at this given opportunity flee this awkward conversation and possibly fall asleep soon as he hits his bed.

Baekhyun stops instead because he’s sort of cornered, he didn’t realize it, but he hasn’t stopped moving forward and Jongin too, kept walking till it dawns on him that they just ended up a little too close and Baekhyun takes a step forward soon as they come to an halt.

“Did—” Jongin starts then stops, he’s looking nervous, Baekhyun knows it from how he just avoids eye contact, which isn’t such a big deal right now because Baekhyun’s doing all eh can to not stare too because god, is it because he’s a model that Jongin doesn’t see any problems in being so close to someone else while being bare chest?

It’s probably that, and also maybe because he doesn’t really know about Baekhyun, that too yeah, but then again that might also mean that the reason why he kissed Baekhyun yesterday was because he took him for—worse situation ever—a girl, maybe Minah’s mother?

Baekhyun’s catching himself in his thoughts with a bitter feeling sticking in his mouth and he suddenly wants to just walk past Jongin and let everything wash away over the night, the influence of the alcohol is making him easy to irritate at any given moment and he doesn’t like it, he says really stupid things when he’s irritated.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts, that he doesn’t even catch anything of what Jongin’s saying when he finally comes back down, because he hears his name, as a faint echo then louder until he’s certain he can make out Jongin’s voice.

“Baekhyun?”

Soon as he blinks back to reality he also blinks up to a Jongin hat looks much closer than he was before and Baekhyun jolts back, with a low yelp that has him taking a step too quick behind and almost stumbling. He waits for the fall, but is even more afraid when it doesn’t come because there isn’t any other possibilities than the one he doesn’t think he will like when he realizes he’s stabilized still by hands gripping his elbows.

“I should,” Baekhyun starts, stuttering a bit, heat flowing to his face as he shoves Jongin away a bit too suddenly and just has the time to apologize quickly, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit tipsy and I need to lay down or—rest—no sleep, so can we, hm talk tomorrow? I really—I should.” He doesn’t finish his sentence; there isn’t much to be said as he quickly makes his way past Jongin before anything else can be said and rushes to his room.

Yes, he feels a bit ashamed once he’s in his room but soon as he flops down on his bed and buries his face in his pillows, he doesn’t think he has it in himself to feel bad about it right now.

wonder boy

doobb — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 07:53:42 GMT

Title: wonder boy
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: prompt:"in which Jongin admires how Baekhyun takes care of the children in the orphanage"
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: first filled prompt, yay, hope you like this anon who requested.

Baekhyun’s a lot of things to Jongin’s eyes.

He’s really charming, funny and at first during the first time where they were still a lot more awkward around each others, he seemed to be the type who’d be full of himself and a bit snobbish until he smiled and Jongin thought about how so unfair this was.

That was before he heard him sing though and kind of got that this must be a thing, for Baekhyun, to destroy every little bad perceptions made on his person and he does it so well that Jongin shouldn’t be surprised at how he can also manage to actually charm his way into children’s hearts too.

All of them are doing good with the children though, Sehun’s kind of building some type of sand castle because the snow has just started to melt and they can see some dust so he’s taking advantage of that, which some of the boys gathered around him love.

Chanyeol’s running around with a girl perched on his shoulders, Kyungsoo’s playing hide and seek with a few while Joonmyun’s reading a book to three little boys sitting and staring up at him with the most attention they’ve got, which is really tiny but somehow it’s been ten minutes and they haven’t left their spot yet.

Jongin—well, Jongin was playing with two of them when suddenly they all seemed to gravitate to Baekhyun and he wasn’t the least offended by it, it meant he got to sit around, do nothing but look at Baekhyun deal with at least five tiny people trying to climb on him and laughing when they manage to tackle him down.

He joins in too and although Baekhyun doesn’t look pleased at that, he just shrugs, leaning against one of the cupboards and crossing his arms, clearly intent on ignoring Baekhyun’s plea when he starts getting tickled.

“Get them off me at least.” Baekhyun says through fit of laugh.

To which Jongin shakes his head, “You’re doing good.” There’s a grin on his face, then a little tug at his heart when Baekhyun rolls on his stomach and lets the kids climb on his back and jump up and down on it as if they’re going for a ride and this one kid keeps shouting, “Do the horse!”

Jongin can tell Baekhyun’s about to say something, maybe refuse but then he just sighs and gets on all four and this is too ridiculous for him not to laugh, even if it’s also adorable and Baekhyun barely takes two steps forward before he’s giving up, flopping back down on the floor and turning his head to look at the two kids on his back.

“Alright, you monsters go bother Jongin, I’m exhausted.”

The kids just laugh, but they comply and Jongin wonders how Baekhyun does that, he just says it and they seem to all understand that it’s time to do as he says.

He crouches to pick up the little boy that runs to him in his arms and when he looks down to try and fit the little girl, he glances to where Baekhyun’s still sprawled on the ground, tilting his head on the side in a way that makes him look so young and candid Jongin almost walks to him to kiss the smile he has off his face.

He’s pulled back to earth with the tug on his sleeve though, “Hurry.” The girl whines a little and finds her smile once Jongin picks her up. He ignores the tingling redness that’s settling on his cheeks and also decides not watching Baekhyun for a little while would be a good idea.

It’s always a bit harder to leave the kids, they cling to them and especially to Baekhyun, who just promises to come more often and they nod, a little bit sad but giving in too. All the rest of them have to do is let Baekhyun or Joonmyun handle the more sensitive ones and walk to their vans waiting for them outside.

They don’t wait for that long though before Baekhyun slides in the back with Jongin and Sehun, squirming until Sehun’s get a lapful of Baekhyun who just shifts till Sehun gets the idea and moves to the other side for Baekhyun to fit in right between him and Jongin.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says softly, leaning up and kissing Jongin’s cheek then pulling one of his earphones out to tuck it in his ear.

Jongin smiles, his arm automatically finding its way around Baekhyun’s shoulder and pulling him flush against his side, he closes his eyes a smile on his face when he mumbles with his mouth against Baekhyun’s hair, “You’re so good to them.”

“We all are.” Baekhyun answers back, his fingers are absentmindedly playing with the hem of Jongin’s shirt.

That’s the fucking thing with Baekhyun, he’ll never just accept a compliment that’s just about him, Jongin thinks and chuckles.

He has to really resists the urge to breathe I love you, with his nose so deep in Baekhyun’s hair because they aren’t that deep into it yet and he’s still a bit scared of all of this even though Baekhyun makes it so simple by looking up and kissing his mouth, slowly, with nothing but their lips moving till Jongin sighs pinking because Sehun clears his throat behind them.

“You’re still the best,” he says rubbing his nose to Baekhyun who shakes his head, starts to protest but Jongin shushes him, lips tight, pursed with a finger against them, “No arguing.” He adds.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, he could argue again if he wanted to, but instead he decides to snuggle closer to Jongin’s warmth, Jongin definitely doesn’t miss the coloring of his cheeks, nor does he miss the softly whispered thanks, geez.

“That’s my boy.” Jongin says and he knows he deserves the punch he gets against his side.

---
→request a baekai drabble or oneshot click here

kisses 2/19

doobb — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 06:50:43 GMT

Title: kisses 2/19
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: those are drabbles/oneshots on 19 different type of kisses baekhyun and jongin share under certain circumstances.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: inspired by this. oh okay i quite like this one. and it got too long.

take a ride - they're all part of the list - first time - kisses {+surprise}

+shoulders

Jongin’s sure if he tells Baekhyun that it has something to do with pride he might get hit and forbidden to ever step a foot inside of his apartment ever again. So he keeps it a secret, he’s not sure for how long it’ll last, but he’ll keep it for as long as he can.

But it’s kind of surprising how Baekhyun hasn’t caught on yet, still he’s not going to complain about it or let Baekhyun in when Jongdae or someone else picks up on it during the week.

It all started back then with the shopping he forced Baekhyun into, well, back then it was probably not the first time Baekhyun borrowed his clothes but it was the first time Jongin found himself liking a particular part of it, they were big on Baekhyun.

Not to the point where Baekhyun was tiny in it, but big enough to expose an expanse of skin on his shoulder where Jongin’s mouth could fit.

It wasn’t even that much exposure, just enough skin for Jongin to smile each time it did and then he kind of dropped by the next day, stayed over night and left another one of his shirt there, he almost caught a cold for going to his class with just a coat and a freaking tank top and Sehun called him an idiot.

But it was worth it when he caught sight of Baekhyun later, the sleeves of Jongin’s polo rolled up, biting on his bottom lip with the end of his pencil tapping a rhythm Jongin found his eyes following, if he had to go through Sehun hitting his head a million of times because of how dumb he looked right now, it would be worth it.

That was what he thought back then before walking up behind Baekhyun’s chair and startling him by leaning in till his chin could fit in the curve of his shoulder, his skin warm and tickling Jongin’s unshaved skin.

“You really need to start shaving regularly.” Baekhyun chuckled then without tearing his eyes off his work, which didn’t really matter not when Jongin’s mouth found his shoulder, laying all the way to where the polo stopped disappearing.

He almost gave it away then with the words, that’s mine, almost rolling off his tongue.

But he’s glad he kept it in check, because this has been going on for more than a week due to his great acting skills and he’s elated, totally glowing every time Baekhyun decides to go for his shirts or polos instead of his own. Well, there’s also the question as to why Baekhyun doesn’t question it and why he loves being in Jongin’s clothes so much but he doesn’t dwell on it long as he’s got what he wants.

Sehun might be right, he might really be a bit too sick when he talks about Baekhyun and he might actually sound a little too obsessed, he’s not obsessed this is a normal behavior and Sehun would understand if he had someone like Baekhyun in his life, except he doesn’t and will never have someone like Baekhyun in his life.

Which sucks for him, but not so much, Jongin quite likes being the one who can pull Baekhyun on the couch next to him and laugh quietly with the sound getting lost in his neck, his tongue sweeping by Baekhyun’s vein and his mouth closing down on it while lowering to leave the same mark he’s left on the neck to where Baekhyun’s shoulder stays exposed whenever he’s wearing Jongin’s clothes.

It kind of levels up from just a little obsession to an endearing thing, Baekhyun must love it, or he would have mentioned it by now, either that or Jongin’s really got him distracted enough for him not to notice the little marks that are starting to appear on his shoulders, both of them.

(Jongin kisses wherever the space’s showing skin, it can be right at times and left at times).

Plus how great is it that spring is here and there’s no more need for coats?

It’s like a total set of blessings and it must be from the heavens. Alright not like he actually believes in this, but he likes thinking fate wants the whole world to see Baekhyun’s marks, and Baekhyun in his clothes, and Baekhyun’s shoulders depending on which one is exposed baring Jongin’s teeth with his skin reddening due to his mouth always, always ending up there.

Sometimes, Baekhyun will look like he notices, (like when they are sitting in a coffee shop and he’s trying to study because it’s a bit harder when he’s not in the library but Jongin doesn’t do well with too quiet places at times so Baekhyun gives in sometimes, when Jongin’s persuasive enough)

He will for example lean on one side until a breeze probably brushes by his shoulder and Jongin’s not studying, not like he should for dragging Baekhyun out, he’s watching and he catches a smile before Baekhyun quickly bites it away and hides his shoulder away from view.

Jongin definitely doesn’t imagine the blush that rises on Baekhyun’s face, he knows what it looks like, and he’d recognize it anytime, even in the dimmest room.

But whether he’s aware of it or not, whether he’s aware of Jongin staring or not, whether it’s because the breeze reminded him of what Jongin’s left there or not, he doesn’t mention it, he just clears his throat and goes back to studying like nothing happened.

Jongin’s a little too fucked for the rest of the day to even think about laying his eyes on his book, which he will do later in his room while trying not to look too dumb when his mind drifts away, right before he finishes his homework and goes out to stand in front of Baekhyun’s door, waiting.

It goes on for a little over two weeks, close to three when finally someone says it out loud, and it’s none other than Chanyeol who just blurts it out because “God damn it, you’ve got to be kidding me, don’t you own your shirts Byun?” he lets out a bit frustrated but also a bit mockingly and Baekhyun flushes so bright that even Jongin has to look away to not show that he’s this close to laughing.

When he looks up and finds Baekhyun’s eyes narrowed at him though he knows he’s probably doing a shitty job at stifling his laugh because he just lets it out then and Baekhyun doesn’t look the least pleased, Jongin’s not sure what the reason is though because he just grabs his book and buries himself in it until the end of the session.

Jongin thinks maybe Chanyeol’s remark will just pass by lightly.

Until he sees Baekhyun the next day, who’s not wearing his clothes but his own, fitting everywhere with no exposed shoulder to kiss, no skin, no marks to be see and Jongin’s world kinds of crumbles with the walls shattering and all that dramatic stuff that usually happens in tragedies, whatever happens in tragedies.

No, this is actually worse than a tragedy and he makes it sound so dramatic when he whines during their dance practice that Sehun whacks him on the head more than twice, Jongin has to make him stop at one time to remind him that “Hey, I’m the older one in this friendship.” like Sehun cares.

He sulks through the entire day and doesn’t even feel like looking up when he’s poked in the ribs and hears the chair where Baekhyun rarely takes next to him in the coffee shop at their usual spot, be pulled.

(Baekhyun sits in the opposite seat because in his own words to Jongin, “You don’t know how to keep your hands to yourself and study session is made for studying, not molesting me.”)

“Hey,” Baekhyun says and Jongin just knows it’s Baekhyun because no one else sounds so considerate when he’s mad at them, or at least trying to be mad at them for reasons that are too childish to be voiced out.

“You’re alive?” Baekhyun adds, laughing a little and Jongin feels his breath against his cheek before he turns around to nod, cheek pressed against the table and the other one puffed before flopping with Baekhyun’s finger poking it.

“You don’t look so good, where have you been?” Baekhyun asks then, leaning in close, meaning to kiss Jongin but he pulls away before that can happen and straightens.

Jongin doesn’t mean to show that he’s sulking, except maybe he does mean to show that he’s sulking and it happens, he can be unhappy about certain things, until Baekhyun looks at him a little bit hurt and confused and he feels awfully bad. But this is a good cause, he’s not going to give in no matter what.

Not even when Baekhyun follows his action and leans back in his own chair without doing anything but looking down at his lap and nibbling on his bottom lip, taking a shaky breath in that tells Jongin how much the gesture must have taken him aback.

But his eyes fall on Baekhyun’s clothes and all the anger and disappointment rushes back so fast he just sighs and looks on the other side at the window from where he can also see Baekhyun’s reflection in the glass.

“Are you mad at me?” Baekhyun says, with a little voice Jongin’s never heard him use in any kind of situation, which just quadruples his guilt.

“Alright, I guess,” Baekhyun stops and shifts in his seat for awhile, turning to look at the back of Jongin’s head and heaving a sigh, “I’ll just leave for now, I’ve got a class soon and we can talk later, that is if you want to talk—with me.” He stands up a bit too fast for Jongin to react.

So he reacts about ten seconds later when Baekhyun’s bag falls out of his hands and Jongin notices how he just blinks a little, like he does when he’s trying not to cry and he hates himself for making him this sad over something as dumb as not seeing Baekhyun in his clothes.

It takes him less than a second to get to Baekhyun and get his bag to put the things that fell out back inside then take it on his shoulders, “Let’s go together.” Jongin says, nodding and feeling a bit too ashamed to look Baekhyun in the eyes properly.

Until he peeks over his shoulders while they’re in the streets and sees Baekhyun’s face brightening with a small smile, but it’s still there, it’s a smile and Jongin thinks fuck it, walking back to tug Baekhyun in an empty alley, or what he hopes to be an empty alley, and kiss him like he hasn’t done through the whole day today.

Baekhyun sighs in his mouth like he’s been waiting for this to happen all day long and it just makes Jongin’s grip on his side tighten.

“Drop by tonight alright?” Baekhyun says a little breathless when they pull apart and Jongin nods, not really sure he can trust his voice right now.

He really, really doesn’t do it on purpose, but it’s only when he gets to his first class and sits next to Sehun who just rolls his eyes that he notices he forgot his sweater at Baekhyun’s place again, guess it’s just an habit he won’t be able to correct soon but he has to.

Because Baekhyun apparently won’t wear them anymore so there’s really no point to leaving them at his apartment anymore.

He’s past that though, he can kiss Baekhyun’s shoulders and everywhere else without having to mix it with how happy he feels when Baekhyun’s wearing his clothes that reveal what he’s done to his skin, even if—ugh no, Jongin shakes his head and leans back against the wall of the university’s building.

He pulls his phone out when he feels it buzzing and reads Baekhyun’s You’re waiting?

Yeah, you’re coming? He texts back and soon after feels another buzz, Yes, sorry, had a last minute call for a meeting tomorrow, and here, I’m here.

Jongin looks up when he hears, “Jongin-ah,” and he’s a little too dumbstruck to say anything while he watches Baekhyun walk towards him wearing the sweater Jongin had on yesterday and really looking tiny in it.

Well considering how the sweater is even big on Jongin, it’s no wonder it almost reaches Baekhyun’s thighs, but it’s how Baekhyun smiles at him with an eyebrow quirked up as if he’s asking Like it? That has Jongin’s face flaring.

He’s sure it’s as clear as water so he brings a hand up to cover half of his face and the stupid smile that stretches his face. It seems to be a good surprise to Baekhyun that Jongin can actually blush and be embarrassed to the point of wanting to hide because he stares for a little longer before snorting.

“So no more sulking?” Baekhyun asks, tilting his head on the side, mouth pursed and Jongin shakes his head, rolling his eyes because, “Yeah, no more sulking.”

“Good.” Baekhyun taps his shoulder with the back of his hand and then tugs on it, “Let’s go, I’m hungry.”

Jongin hums softly following his steps and fitting against his side, sliding an arm around Baekhyun’s middle to tug him closer till Baekhyun has to stop walking with him and almost tiptoe.

But it doesn’t get to that point because Jongin makes it easier by bending and burying his face against Baekhyun’s shoulder where he leaves small kisses that have Baekhyun sighing at first then laughing before shoving his face away.

“You’re gross.” Baekhyun complains then, even though the reddening of his cheeks and how he touches a finger to where Jongin’s mouth was shows that he doesn’t mind much.

---
→also wanna request a baekai drabble or oneshot? click here

kisses 1/19

doobb — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 06:02:26 GMT

Title: kisses 1/19
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: those are drabbles on 19 different type of kisses baekhyun and jongin share under certain circumstances.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: ajkhds inspired by this because i can't write anything longer for awhile got too busy so i'll fill my need to write with these ;;

take a ride - they're all part of the list - first time

+surprise

Their dates usually consists of either going out to the movies or just staying home, or dropping by Chanyeol, Jongdae and Yixing’s apartment to catch a movie night and this isn’t really unusual too, going out during the day for some shopping that apparently Baekhyun needs?

He doesn’t need new clothes, hell he’s good with what he has and since he moved out of his mother’s house, sure he’s been dressing less differently than before but that’s because he has to wake up early, make his own breakfast, gets his own schedule and just waking up to his own alarm is already a big challenge.

There’s nothing wrong with his fashion since Jongin wants to call it that and he hasn’t stopped mumbling about how offended he feels for being dragged out of his bed during a Saturday where he has nothing to do, no studying, no homework, for some shopping Jesus Christ, someone tells him why he signed up for this.

Actually, no he didn’t sign up for this, Jongin never said he came with the whole looking out for what the person he’s dating wears and makes sure he’s always up to date.

Baekhyun looks down at what he’s wearing and while he actually enjoys finding himself in Jongin’s clothes, the reason why he’s tucked in one of his sweatshirts and a pair of jeans he’s sure are definitely not his size makes him just a little bit mad at all the sleep he’s losing right now.

“Can’t I just go back home and sleep? You know my measurements don’t you, Jongin-ah, let me go sleep.” He whines a little, dragging his feet behind Jongin who doesn’t even stop to acknowledge Baekhyun’s suggestion.

Which makes him huff looking down at his feet sporting the only thing on his body that belongs to him right now, his shoes, before looking back up and catching up to Jongin.

“I hate you.” He adds mumbling under his breath and refusing to look up to see if Jongin heard that one. Hell yeah he’s being childish because he has all the rights to be, and no one said that turning twenty-two meant you’re not allowed to be childish and whiny when you’re refused a favor you desperately need.

He also yawns, looking down so he doesn’t show the inside of his mouth to the people who pass by then.

“I don’t care, hate me all you want, we’re getting you new clothes.” Jongin doesn’t even sound the tiniest bit offended as he grabs hold of his arm to make him walk inside of the mall, what a bummer.

“One day I’ll mean it.” Baekhyun nods resolutely, tugging his arm free from Jongin’s grip.

“That’s a lie.”

“How would you know that?”

“You say it all the time.”

Which isn’t true, well not totally true. “No, I don’t.” he retorts frowning.

“Hyung, you always hate me when I try to make you do things you don’t like.”

“I just wanna sleep.” Baekhyun argues again, because he can, then goes on a rant, because he also can, “How is that not clear? I mean at this point you must know how hard it is to get even one hour of sleep when you go through exams, how do you to understand the importance of resting and getting back all these hours I wasted on studying for some dumb thing I understand probably more than half of the class and—hey, hey—wait, Jongin.”

Jongin doesn’t stop though he leans down until his mouth is pressed to Baekhyun’s and Baekhyun gets a little shifty, not daring to look around because he can feel people’s eyes on them without having to see it, “What—” he can’t get his question out because Jongin kisses him again, softly, so softly he almost forgets that he was arguing with him until Jongin pulls back again.

“Just one shirt then, hyung, for me, please?”

So not fair, Baekhyun sighs feeling his resolve crumble immediately and fisting Jongin’s shirt drops his forehead against his chest inhaling silently, “I can’t believe you just did this in front of all these people.”

Jongin just laughs, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and tucking Baekhyun’s burning face safe buried against his side.

---
→also wanna request a baekai drabble or oneshot? click here

fiery

doobb — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 05:13:52 GMT

Title: fiery
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: porn
Rating: nc-17
Summary: exceptions aren't baekhyun's cup of tea, but he really can't resist this.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: in which i wrote porn and idk why i did but i did and wow do you guys know i havent written porn in like a year or less. what am i doing. omg. ~~im gonna go hide.~~

It’s the way he feels his eyes on him that gets him first. That’s the main reason why Baekhyun even shifts in his seat, because it’s not just him, it’s really getting warmer, everywhere, under his skin, under the sleeves of his shirt and he tugs on them until he has them rolled up to his elbows and it’s not enough.

He has a little idea of what would make it less heated, he has a little idea of what the tilt of the head means what the little smirk that appears after also means, but all of it feels kind of surreal. There’s a pause where he doesn’t do anything because he can’t believe this is happening, then there’s a nudge and there’s Jongdae bumping his shoulder and screaming over the music, “Go for it.”

No, hell no, Baekhyun wants to answer right back at him but somehow, he’s moving before he can even voice his protest, and no one’s making him move, he’s moving on his own accord. What he expects is really a quick extinction soon as he’s facing the other, but it’s not that, it’s burning even more now that he’s so close and at an arm length.

Baekhyun still hesitates because he’s sure, he’s so convinced that if they even as touch he’s going to start burning up and he’ll end up in ashes on the ground with nothing but his heart hammering against his chest as the only warning he gets before there’s nothing to care about but this, god, and god yes it burns but does it burn good.

It’s also moist, but that’s because there’s a dampness against his neck, with a mouth open in a bite but then there are just a set of lips closing and kissing, he’s just kissing his skin and it flares up Baekhyun’s neck to his cheeks, he’s pretty sure the flush also trails down to his entire body because he lets out a whimper, it’s painful, kind of really unbearable to stand still without his legs giving up under the weight at any time now.

There can’t be more to this, Baekhyun thinks, fingers tightening in a hold of a shirt he’s got when he feels himself being pulled out of the club. He feels grateful when he feels the cold air hit him, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out when the cold slips through and nearly throws him in a coughing fit.

“It’s cold, here.” He doesn’t expect the voice nor does he expect the warmth that settles over his shoulders although he turns around to say thanks when he recognizes this as a jacket that’s not his own, but his words are sealed with a smiling mouth on his.

It starts with gentle nibbles, it’s so different from how everything was a bit out of hand and uncontrollably alluring inside of the club, it’s soft and slow, Baekhyun thinks about the mention of actually melting while being kissed and this could be defined as that. His fingers are shaking, they can’t keep still holding the jacket on his shoulders as he presses closer to the other’s body and this is much, much better.

Baekhyun tilts his head up further, his mouth parting further and closing with a low keening sound escaping the back of his throat, he hears and feels a chuckle against his tongue and as their breath meet in a mix of vodka and cigarettes he pulls back to let some fresh air back into his lungs.

Before he can get swept up into that motion again, because he’s pretty sure if they keep at it he’s going to forget to ask important things like who is this guy anyways, not like he doesn’t often kiss strangers, that’s one of the main reasons why he usually drops by the club because he wants to relieve stress. Sex, or alcohol, or just the usual chatting up and making out until he can’t feel his mouth anymore, there isn’t really anything new to it.

At least there hasn’t been anything new until tonight, this is not his usual pick up a stranger and have a one night stand then leave it at that. Because he’s flushing bright red and there’s a heat trailing down to his crotch when they haven’t done anything but have a staring fight back in the club then just kisses, mere kisses, lips against lips.

Baekhyun wets his bottom lip, it’s awful to think of that, but he can taste the difference on his tongue, “What’s your name?” there’s a pause where he looks up with hopeful eyes, he actually never asks that, and he has a reputation for sleeping with faceless strangers in these streets, so maybe that’s why he’s not really surprised when the guy’s eyes widen for a bit, amused then he just laughs a little and the thing it does to Baekhyun’s stomach down to his dick has him shutting his eyes and letting his forehead fall against the chest in front of him.

“You do names now.” Is all he gets as an answer with fingers gripping his sides, slightly lifting the edges of it, Baekhyun sucks a breath in when he feels them against his skin.

“Exceptions exist.” He replies because two can play at this, but he’s dying to know. He’s new, he must be new, but then again if he wasn’t he wouldn’t even hesitate to tell Baekhyun his name since everyone literally wants to get in Baekhyun’s pants, and probably already have and would redo it if he didn’t have this one night and over rule.

So yes, he really does want to know his name or he’s not going to be able to think of anything else, he’s sure of it.

“I’ll tell you, once I’m done with you.” This, this is when Baekhyun should have put an end to it, at least that’s what his head tells him, but when he straightens and closes his eyes instead to get back to kissing a mouth that’s sure getting him riled up and already anticipating where else it would suck a bruise on when it lowers down his jaw and down his neck.

He doesn’t really want to wait until it ends, because what if at the end of this he doesn’t want to know it anymore and the fire’s gone and it dies, what if this is a dream after all.

Baekhyun lets go of one side of he jacket and curls his finger against a defined jaw, he’s a bit afraid to let his palm fit against his cheek, but then he lets it there and traps his ears between his fingers, pulling him back just to take a look at him because if this a dream at least he’s got to remember every little details.

So instead of just doing it rough and fast in a dirty place or even at the back of the club, outside, which would definitely gain them pneumonia if they did, Baekhyun brings him to his apartment. He doesn’t know what takes over him, but he does, and fuck it, he’s just going to let this take him then he’s going to forget it, or keep the memories and they’re just going to be that, the most unique ones he’s ever made.

He tries to persuade himself that not knowing his name doesn’t bother him at all, even though he’s certain the other does know his name, and it’s not really hard to do so when he can’t think straight because soon as they step inside of his apartment his feet are off the floor and yeah alright, he does know he’s not that heavy but it shouldn’t be so easy for someone so young looking.

If it were Chanyeol he would understand, because Chanyeol has this tendency to want to make everyone look smaller so when he takes Baekhyun, it’s never really on a surface where Baekhyun has advantage over his height.

The same goes for Kris, though Kris doesn’t actually like lifting people up like Chanyeol does, but the fact is why is he even comparing them, they’ve got nothing on the person kneeling in between his legs right and making him let his fall back breath caught around a moan he lets out when he falls on the bed and covers his face with his hands.

Baekhyun can’t recall how the walk to his bedroom was possible when they practically knocked every objects in their way, but he knows he will have a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow, he still has room to think about how fast his clothes were off before there’s this warm on the head of his cock and his hips twitches up when it leaves.

The hands holding his thighs slide up to his hips pushing them back down before it’s back and this time, all of Baekhyun tries to sink in deeper into his mouth, but it’s not something he’s allowed to do with the hands keeping him down. Baekhyun’s hands slide down to pass by the ones holding him down because, he’s got to let him, he whines and pleads but with only sounds and no words, he’s reduced to whimpers till he gives up and arms stretched above his head fists the sheet.

The deeper he takes Baekhyun in the harder it is for him to keep his hips to stay still, but the firm grip just tightens, Baekhyun has the time to think about the bruises they’re going to leave there and it’s the image of how their shapes are going to look, how they’re going to burn a little and feel a little painful that has him biting on his bottom lip just as everything gets a bit too warm, a bit too heated, the warm recoiling in his lower stomach tightening until he’s coming, he tries to warn but really he can’t get any sounds out when it happens.

Baekhyun falls back against his bed, hazy thoughts caught up in his mind melting down into the aftermath of his orgasm, he stays still without daring to open his eyes, “Jongin.” He hears then and blinks his eyes open, confused at first till he sees a small smile on the face above him, “My name, it’s Jongin.”

Baekhyun purses his mouth, clearing his throat to ask, “Why are you telling me that now?” because this is not the end of it is it? There must be more to come, he kinds of blushes, eh actually really turns probably a shade of red no one’s ever seen him wear before thinking about how he’s actually waiting for more, how he actually wants more and this is so new.

He’s not used to being the one to want, he’s not used to being so sure that if he has to, he will even beg and plead until this—Baekhyun holds his breath, eyes widening, caught off guard, until this yeah and he brings his hands up, clenching at the arms braced at either side of his face.

“So you can scream it.” Jongin says, doesn’t leave him the time to protest, argue, or refute that fact because he doesn’t ease inside of Baekhyun fast enough for him to not feel like he’s on the brink of losing the edge and falling off a fucking cliff, no he does it so slowly Baekhyun feels every inch of him sliding inside till he’s full and it stings, behind his eyelids and down, up to his stomach tightening when Jongin presses him down into the mattress.

As a matter of fact Baekhyun does scream, but that’s not all he does, he also gasps with the first syllables dying in the back of his throat and the rest of the name disappearing when Jongin’s teeth graze over his nipple while still moving at this slow pace he probably is also dying to maintain, but no, he just won’t pick it up.

It’s agonizing if anything, Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do with his body, or his hands, or his brains, he doesn’t think he can even think about anything else but the way Jongin’s moving then kissing him and swallowing the sounds he lets out. As he does so he also make sure to grind against Baekhyun’s dick caught in between them, and there’s a bit of too much to feel at once.

He’s sweating too and Jongin’s tongue find one drop rolling down his cheek, licking it back up and kissing the corner of his eyes then pressing his mouth against his eyelids, this is not how it’s supposed to be. Baekhyun’s sure this isn’t the usual way a one night stand works, at least not in his rules, it’s not supposed to be a cruel joke where he can’t come and he doesn’t want to complain, but he keeps complaining anyways.

Where he doesn’t want to beg, but really Jongin’s name is an easy word that rolls off his tongue, hushed at times and meeting with Jongin’s smiling mouth at times and the word please seems to fit so well next to it when Jongin stays still at one point and not moving at all, panting against Baekhyun’s cheek, with Baekhyun’s fingers tight in his hair, tight enough to almost tear some strands out.

He does this a lot, it feels like an eternity passes on when he does too, Baekhyun’s mind goes blank with need and he tries to get him moving, with the back of his foot pressing further to where it’s wrapped around Jongin’s middle.

It’s such a slow build up to where Jongin wants them to get, he’s leading them to a high Baekhyun doesn’t want to come but still begs for and waits wantonly for, his back arched and Jongin’s laughter echoing against his skin pressed to his stomach, bent in half and he’s also following Baekhyun, teeth sunk in the skin of his stomach, tongue dipped in Baekhyun’s belly button.

Jongin climbs back up Baekhyun’s body with his mouth kissing each inches of his skin till he reaches Baekhyun’s mouth, stays lingering without kissing him, he does brush his nose against Baekhyun’s though, with a soft smile on his face. He makes to pull out of Baekhyun, but not yet Baekhyun breathes out, tightening his legs and almost desperately holding Jongin’s face in his hands, a little bit more.

Jongin’s answer is to kiss his nose, the corner of his mouth, his upper lip and steal his last breath.

There are two things Baekhyun would like to convince himself of not being content with when he wakes up, the fact that he brought someone in his apartment, breaking his rule number two, which is still an important one, then the fact that he’s the one waking up alone in his bed.

Then the third thing is how he makes to stand up to maybe get his ideas back together and finds a note stuck to the pillow next to him, not that he turned his head just to make sure of if this was a one night stand or not, and he definitely wasn’t expecting a presence so the note leaves him a bit surprised, a bit startled but also with this ticklish tightening in his chest.

He tries not to be too eager to read what it says, but he nearly tears the paper and scolds himself mentally. He wants to throw it away instead of reading it when it’s finally open and he even stands up and walks to the trashcan before hesitating and just sitting on the ground cross-legged, blanket around his waist and gives in.

I had to head to school so I left, but I put my number in your phone, I’m sure you won’t mind.
Call me.
Jongin.

I had an idea while talking with a friend

doobb — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 03:17:32 GMT

So I was thinking of making a tumblr about baehyun and jongin. Where you can request drabbles and oneshots, but really short ones, not more than 5k.

I was also thinking of making a sideblog on the same blog with take a ride!verse where you can ask questions and I will answer with Baekhyun or Jongin's voice or all the characters that are part of the series, with the main being Baekai of course. It can help for plot development right? And if an idea needs to be evolved I can sort of write a oneshot on it too.

If you read this and you know of my baekai stories and the series I'm talking about, I'd love to know if you think this is a good idea, especially if you have a tumblr, would you request if I opened it?

first time

doobb — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 07:15:41 GMT

Title: first time
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: jongin wants it to be now and baekhyun--baekhyun's just not sure.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: yeah continuing the take a ride!verse should i just make it a series god. here ill post the links to the baekai ones. they can all be read as stand alones ofc /o/ but if youre bored you can read them all ajdhs also this was supposed to be porn but it turned out into this bunch of fluff ugh.

take a ride - they're all part of the list

first time;

A first time shouldn’t always feel this nerve wrecking; at least Baekhyun’s sure that it shouldn’t. Especially since this isn’t really his first time technically speaking, except it’s his first time with Jongin and that’s enough to make him end up in a nervous mind that has him fidgeting through all of his classes.

It doesn’t help that when he told Jongin that it wasn’t his first time he kind of looked dejected and didn’t even ask who was his first then, and that was worrying. Jongin always asked, no matter what, he liked prying into Baekhyun’s life from after they lost touch to when they didn’t know each other’s.

But he just stayed silent and acknowledged the news with a nod and that was when he asked Baekhyun if they could go further and that meant nothing good at all. If he asked that because he was upset about Baekhyun having been sexually involved with someone else before him, which Baekhyun hoped wouldn’t be the reason at all, because he didn’t want their first time to be over some upset feelings, that’d ruin it wouldn’t it?

Once he starts thinking about it, he can’t stop and he goes through his last class completely oblivious to what’s said during the lesson, all he wants to do is go home and curl on his bed, stop thinking about this and about how it’s been a week since then and Jongin hasn’t sent a single text or called him except for yesterday when he texted just to ask if tonight was still standing.

He replied yes of course, but right now his whole body’s screaming at him that no, he doesn’t want it to be that way. It must be written all over his face when he grabs his stuff and bumps into Jongdae on the way down to meet the rest of their group because all he does is take a look at Baekhyun, frown and lean in, “What’s wrong?” and ask that like he’s sure something’s wrong.

Baekhyun shrugs and thinks about lying his way out of this, he doesn’t want to talk about it, now he’s upset and if this shows when Jongin comes to get him to take him wherever he’s taking him, where could this guy even be thinking of taking him? But then he decides better of it, maybe Jongdae could help, “Jongin wants our first time to be tonight.” He blurts out before he can stop himself then he grabs Jongdae’s arm and pulls him in a quiet spot.

“And you don’t want to?” Jongdae asks back and Baekhyun quickly shakes his head, no, “Of course no, that’s not, it’s not that I don’t want to.” He fidgets, shifting from a foot to another looking down and flushing lightly before looking up, “He decided that after I told him I had some experience in it.” He thinks about going further in his doubts and worries but it seems Jongdae catches on and he nods, eyes brightening.

“And you think he’s jealous and that’s why he wants it to be so soon.” Baekhyun nods, not even surprised because Jongdae isn’t the smartest one among them for no reasons, “Then tell him so.” He says and then Baekhyun thinks, nevermind, he might be dumb in some aspects after all.

“I can’t do that.” He exclaims, looking at Jongdae with wide eyes, he’s never thought this would ever be a problem. Actually his first was just a spur of a moment, kind of an experiment to make sure if he was actually really pinning for the same sex or not and it turned out not that great but not that bad either.

It was better than when he actually went and slept with a girl for the first time though. Sex isn’t something he always figured he’d have to think too much about with Jongin, after all, people do say that when you love someone it just comes easily and it’s even better, maybe he’s just worrying for nothing?

“Nevermind.” He says after a long silence and when he feels Jongdae’s going to say something after frowning for awhile, he walks out of the hall, he’ll handle this, it’ll be fine, though his heartbeats hastening as he makes his way outside tells him otherwise, but he ignores it, he’s got no reasons to be nervous really.

Hours passed and he’s still nervous, so nervous he might as well try to make himself throw up because it won’t be pretty if Jongin’s taking him somewhere and he ends up throwing at that place. But he has to say he’s pretty curious about what he’s planned, he’s never been on dates before Jongin.

On actual dates where you do nothing but talk about normal things and still it’s like time stops only for Jongin to invade his universe, slide in his little bubble and make it theirs instead of just his, appropriate Baekhyun’s little world and make it even tinier, revolving only around Jongin’s voice and laughter and Jongin’s mouth on his skin or on his mouth, Jongin’s fingers against his skin, probing touching, just brushing past.

Baekhyun comes down with the realization that he’s being absurd, totally ridiculous for having been worrying about this, this is Jongin, not some stranger he picked out in a bar when he was underage and clearly too intoxicated to think properly. He calms down first of, brushes his worries away though he’s still nervous, but he finds out it’s a different kind and it’s totally at a good timing because then he hears his mother call for him telling him Jongin’s there and he nearly stumbles face first on the carpet on his room while hurrying down.

He gets done in one piece, which is kind of a miracle, but he doesn’t have the time to ponder on it because Jongin quickly takes hold of his hand and gives him the time to say a quick goodbye to his mother, she’s also kind of pushing him out of the house too, it’s probably time for him to move out of this house where he’s not needed, Baekhyun thinks following Jongin outside and making him stop before he can drag him further.

“Hey, wait.” He says and Jongin stops, turns to face him, eyebrows arched, “Yeah?” Baekhyun frowns, that’s all he’s got to say? He rolls his eyes and stops himself from scoffing, “Can I at least know where we’re going?”

Jongin shakes his head and grins tugging on his hand till they’re so close he can feel his smile against the bridge of his nose before his mouth curls up in a kiss right there and Baekhyun closes his eyes, chest tightening and fingers tightening in a fist around Jongin’s hand.

“It’s a surprise.”

Jongin knows how to do that, use this way to shut Baekhyun up and just make him follow behind blindly without asking further questions, fingers laced through Jongin’s without the need for gloves because it gets in the way but with their held hands tucked inside of Jongin’s pocket, warmer than in any gloves.

They pass by the bus stop and they don’t take it, Baekhyun barely notices it only because the bus passes by when they walk by the stop and he looks up at Jongin’s profile with a questioning expression, tilting his head and he might have been staring for awhile because Jongin pulls on his hand and looks at him, “What?” he asks and Baekhyun shrugs, pinking and lowering his head.

Sometimes he really gets scared of this, how easy it’s become when he was worried for the whole week and he just sees Jongin, touches him, feels him close and it’s like there’s nothing to worry about anymore. It makes him squeeze his hand and bite on his bottom lip when he gets a squeeze right back, so he might a bit more fucked than he thought he was.

It takes them another ten minutes of walking, Baekhyun starts complaining after awhile and Jongin just laughs and tells him be patient hyung, seriously like he’s not freezing too, but Baekhyun can tell from how close they’ve gotten during their walk that they’re both trying to share warmth.

“Are we there yet?” Baekhyun whines, it comes out in a mumble behind the scarf he’s pushed up to his nose and Jongin finally nods and points forward, “Right there.” Baekhyun follows his finger and sees nothing but what looks like a store from afar, but the closer they get the better he looks at it and he realizes it’s a studio, at least that’s what he reads when he looks up as they stop in front of the building.
“A studio?” Baekhyun asks, frowning, watching Jongin let go of his hand and forcing him to hide it in his own pocket to not let it freeze, he stops himself from thinking about missing the contact and focus on Jongin humming softly and opening the studio then pushing the door for him to step inside first.

Baekhyun’s ready to step inside when he hears Jongin let out a soft, “Ladies first.” And he stops just to have the satisfaction of hitting his shin before waking inside, ignoring the wincing whine he can hear behind him, “That hurts ugh, I need this leg to dance.”

“Don’t say dumb things if you want to keep it safe then.” Baekhyun retorts walking inside of the studio and searching for a light switch, but Jongin beats him to it, though the lights that spreads through the room is a lot less brighter than what he thought it would be.

It looks like those ones he’s seen more than often in spa commercials, “You’re not going to propose a massage session right?” He asks with a mocking grin, looking for Jongin in the dim light, he finds him walking towards him and Baekhyun takes a step back towards the mirror in the center of the wall facing the door.

He notices then that the curtains are closed, “If I asked, would you even give me one?” Jongin asks back instead of answering and Baekhyun shrugs without thinking seriously about it, he turns to face the mirror, “I haven’t learned how to, chances are I’d make it worse so I’d say yes.”

“You’re an awful boyfriend.” Jongin sighs through his words but Baekhyun feels his smile in his voice and he tugs on his bottom lip, tilting his head with Jongin’s presence against his back and chin nuzzling to settle against his shoulder then sliding closer to his neck and he feels the smile there, with a soft chuckle.

“I could be worse.” Jongin’s laugh tickles his neck and he scoffs a bit, tilting farther away to rest the back of his head against Jongin’s shoulder, “I’d lose it.” It’s soft and barely audible, but the silence in the room makes it clear enough that Baekhyun catches it.

They’re caught in whispering instead of talking now, he doesn’t understand why their voices drop, but it just does and it fits, he’s learned to not questions those things that just seem to belong there just because he’s doing them at Jongin’s pace and Jongin always swallows him whole in his rhythm and makes him play it out comfortably, so comfortable Baekhyun feels himself relaxing with Jongin’s arm wrapping itself around him.

“Seriously though,” Baekhyun starts, interrupting his sentence to sigh contently when Jongin’s tongue flickers across a vein on his neck and he swallows going on, “what are we doing here?”

“Actually.” Jongin stops kissing the place where he’d let his tongue wander earlier, “I was planning on giving you a show.” He says it casually, moving his lips under Baekhyun’s chin against his jawline and nipping.

Baekhyun tries to think of what Jongin’s saying, what he’s just said but it’s getting foggy, kind of hard to concentrate on nothing but Jongin’s warmth and the fingers he feels slide under the front of his shirt and circling patterns against his right hip, gentle and soothing, “And?” He lets out in a breath, feeling himself smile when Jongin squeezes his hip and proceeds to turn him around instead.

“I’ve decided we should put a show together.” Jongin answers, leaning in till he’s got Baekhyun’s face at the same level but Baekhyun quickly ducks down, not quite sure of where this rush of shyness comes from, but it’s there fluttering in his stomach and tightening his chest and he just holds onto one of Jongin’s arm and his other hand clutches the hem of his shirt.

It’s so painful, how is it that it’s become so hard to breath when he knows how it works? Inhale, exhale and he does it, except all he breathes in is Jongin and then he doesn’t want to breath out because he likes inhaling Jongin’s scent and keeping it there. Jongin leans in lower and lower until Baekhyun has to close his eyes to not see him when he’s almost crouching to take a look at his face.

It’s embarrassing to say the least, because his whole face flushes with heat that he can feel crawling from his neck up to his head, still his mouth parts around Jongin’s and his head follows to look up with Jongin’s hand holding the back of his neck to tilt it backwards, get better access, whatever it is for Baekhyun gives in and leans forward, closer, so impossibly closer till he has to pull back after just mere seconds of softly kissing with nothing but their lips moving and locking.

He’s breathless though, red and warm and breathless, he lets out a soft panting that gets caught in his throat and turns into a little laugh and he shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes even with Jongin’s thumb brushing his cheekbone in this soft gesture he’s learned to lean in and that incites him to press his cheek against Jongin’s open palm.

Baekhyun wants to say something, but he doesn’t know where to begin and how to word it out, he’s not even sure if he wants it out that badly but Jongin kisses him again and chooses for him, which isn’t that bad really except when Jongin’s tongue searches for his own and his mouth gets more demanding he literally gives up even holding back the noises he feels leaving his throat.

It’s not that they’ve never kissed until they couldn’t feel their lips anymore, actually they did and laughed and sat with a bowl of ice cream later, Baekhyun holding it while Jongin made him feed it to him, his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder with a movie that had no interest for them playing.

But Jongin’s taking his time right now, it feels familiar and unknown, it feels kind of thrilling, like a first kiss that’s extremely overwhelming Baekhyun realizes when he lets out a soft whine and pulls back to breath yet again, he moves both of his hands up to close them around Jongin’s neck and pull him down to take his mouth back after just letting it go a second ago though.

The only time they stop after that is when Jongin pulls back with Baekhyun following after his mouth but ending up biting on his bottom lip in slight disappointment replaced by a quick small smile when he feels Jongin’s own against the corner of his mouth, “Give me this dance?”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrows and he opens his eyes then because he wants to see what expression Jongin has now. He’s surprised to see that he looks kind of nervous, he does look nervous too god, Baekhyun’s smile widens and it turns into a bit of a laugh before he shakes his head, “There’s no music you idiot.” He explains when he sees Jongin’s face fall.

“But you promised you’d give me one.” It kind of clicks then, with Jongin’s mouth curved in a slight pout, with his forehead against Baekhyun’s, he understands what this is and he feels kind of dumb for not realizing it.

But he remembers how dejected he’d felt when Jongin told him that he couldn’t come to the prom night because he just wasn’t allowed to invite people outside of their school and Baekhyun knew that rule but he just got so upset he sulked for an entire week after that. But it was also because Jongin ended up dancing with another girl and it made the whole thing worse.

“I did.” He replies, beaming and biting on his bottom lip so hard he winces and lets go when it starts stinging, “But I’m not dancing without music, that’s dumb.” He scrunches his nose looking up at Jongin, shrugs and lets his fingers glide in Jongin’s hair, tightening his hold to get a firm grip when Jongin tries to bite his cheek.

“It’s not dumb, it’s fun.” Jongin tries to get hold of his cheek again and Baekhyun rolls his eyes because they definitely do not have the same definition of fun in their minds but before he can say that, Jongin’s teeth are around the flesh of his cheek, light but firm and he’s already moving pulling Baekhyun in his steps.

“So you’re telling me I’ve been dragged out, walked for hours to end up in an empty studio dancing to no music like some fool?” Baekhyun asks, while waiting for Jongin’s reply, that he doesn’t really mind if it ever comes or not, he rests his forehead against his shoulder and follows the steps he’s lead to do.

“Hm,” Jongin sounds like he’s musing over what to say then he just laughs and it brushes pasts Jongin’s air, blowing a few strands away, soft as a morning breeze, “Pretty much.” Baekhyun frowns, bumping his forehead twice against Jongin’s shoulder till he laughs even louder before holding his head still, “Stop, it doesn’t even hurt.”

“You want it to hurt?” Baekhyun asks, looking up with his chin where his forehead was pressed before, “No, don’t, I’ll be honest.”

“Because you were lying?”

“Of course.” Jongin nods like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, they don’t stop moving to no music at all, but it’s to this rhythm with which Baekhyun follows so easily as if they are dancing to an actual real sound. He’s not so surprised, not anymore, he might as well call it the Jongin effect because this is what it is.

Then it stops, Jongin stops and Baekhyun pulls back a bit to shot him a questioning look, “I’m serious, this wasn’t the plan.” Jongin says then frowns and he looks a bit hesitant, like he’s not sure how to say it or if he should say it then he looks don and sighs, “I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun’s more than lost now, he tilts his head, “For what?”

“For acting like I did.” Jongin mumbles then looks back up and Baekhyun notices the heat on his face because he’s never seen it so bright before, so he’S grateful for the light not being too dim and just enough for him to notice those little things if he looks closely, “Like a kid.”

Baekhyun opens his mouth to ask where this is coming from, but he just waits because Jongin’s not done yet, he’s parting his lips and closing them again as if torn then he lets it out in a rushed tone, “I kind of got upset and said then let’s do it, you know last time, I shouldn’t have, if we have to end up having sex,” he stops and Baekhyun waits for the rest of it, “Making love,” he corrects sheepishly, “I’d prefer it’s not because I got upset over such a little thing as finding out it would be new for me but not for you.”

Baekhyun has a lot of thoughts then, but the first one that comes out into words is a not so subtle, “So you were upset over it.” It’s mumbled and quiet but Jongin catches it and sighs, Baekhyun can feel its annoyed tone when he grumbles something he doesn’t understand but it doesn’t matter.

“I mean, I understand it’s just I wasn’t sure if I was worrying over nothing.” Then he realizes he’s just admitted he was worried about Jongin being upset over it and he quickly shakes his head, “Not that it’s bad!” He adds quickly and stops Jongin from stepping away, he’s trying really hard to not let a stupid smile appear on his face but it’s so hard he lets out a soft chuckle while trying to keep his expressions in check, “It’s,” he shrugs a shoulder, “Kinda cute.”

“Hyung, you’re not making it any better.” Jongin whines nibbling on his bottom lip endlessly, “So? I always get teased, I think I deserve the right to tease you nonstop when I have at least a tiny chance to do so.”

Jongin makes a sound in the back of his throat that’s between a whine and a moan and he shakes his head, “No, you don’t.”

“I’ll do it anyways,” Baekhyun retorts sticking his tongue out in a defiant way but then he clears his throat, “So, seriously, it’s not for tonight then?” his face goes a color he’s used to feeling heating against his cheeks by now, if not then he’d just have to hide it all the time and Jongin said once that he shouldn’t or he’d do worse and embarrass him and he’s been trying ever since to not let it surprise him when he accidentally or surprisingly turns red.

“It doesn’t have to be for tonight.” Jongin says and woah, Baekhyun hates him for not even turning a little bit pink even with the topic they’re discussing like it’s so normal to talk about when they’d be ready to actually step it up, thinking about it is enough to send his mind into a storm of heat that he has to cool off by thinking of some physics problems or the way his teacher licks his finger before turning a page, it’s gross enough to make him stop blushing embarrassingly.

Still, it’s back right when he starts talking again, because “I want to.” He says that and this time he really has to look away, maybe not down but he can’t keep eyes contact with Jongin and god, how more pathetic can he get?

“Here?” Jongin sounds surprised so Baekhyun snaps his head back to him and shakes it vigorously, “Of course no!” He sputters, immediately feeling cheated when Jongin laughs at his face and ugh, he just got tricked.

“I hate you, Jongin, really.” Baekhyun sighs and hits on Jongin’s chest with a clenched fist, “You’re horrible.”

Jongin’s fingers wrap around both of his wrists pulling them up and he presses them against his cheeks, grinning down at him with a gentle gaze that has Baekhyun caught blinking mind going blank and hearts picking up another marathon in his chest tightening till it gets hard to breathe so he stops trying and holds his breath in.

Jongin smiles softly with his mouth against one of Baekhyun’s fists that flinches when he kisses his knuckles, “I want to too.” he says and Baekhyun manages a small smile, that he bites away.

He’s sore, that’s the first realization that hits him when he blinks and finds himself awake, the light is too bright is what comes after and he closes his eyes again moistening his bottom lip before rolling on his side, it’s Saturday and he can sleep as much as he wants is the third thought he has with his eyes on Jongin’s sleeping face.

Then he remembers that he’s not sore for the reasons he was supposed to be sore. He’s aching in his legs and arms and neck but that’s due to the wrestling they had before collapsing on the bed. Actually yesterday was supposed to be their first time, right, the thing is when they came to Jongin’s new apartment the only thing they ended up doing was grab a drink and take glass after glass.

Ugh, he was nervous that was why, he didn’t know why Jongin wouldn’t say no and just keep giving him more and more and also drinking some more, but god, it felt awful now. He also understands why he’s having this type of headache he just wants to bang away.

So they ended up not doing anything but running around the living room and Baekhyun vaguely remembers how he even ended up on the bed. Maybe Jongin wasn’t too drunk, he has to remember to never get so wasted ever again. Plus he feels awful because god, are they ever going to get to the point if he always reacts this way?

“Stop staring.” Baekhyun startles and stretches a leg under the cover; throwing it over Jongin’s waist, he sighs with a moue, “Stop pretending.”

“God just how much did we end up drinking yesterday?” Jongin groans and slides close with Baekhyun’s leg tugging him closer, “Two bottles.” He frowns, Jongin mirrors his expression then there’s just that, them remembering and it starts with a soft chuckle from Jongin that turns into a burst which Baekhyun really can’t resist following and they’re laughing, leaning closer and trying to fit their smiling mouths for a kiss but it’s hard with their teeth meeting instead.

Then Baekhyun scrunches his nose, “Your breath stinks.” He says and Jongin shrugs, “Yours does too.”

“Does not.” Baekhyun protests, making a face and pressing his forehead against Jongin’s, letting out a content sigh, “It does.” Jongin smiles and kisses him properly then, morning breath forgotten.

Jongin pulls back just to say, “Hey, today’s our nine months.” Baekhyun arches an eyebrow that says oh really? and instead of replying he leans in for another kiss, rolling on top of Jongin.

(They postpone it because it can wait, of course it can wait, they’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out. Though of course, it’d be best if they didn’t end up actually waiting for too long, but it’ll come, won’t it?)

boyfriends

doobb — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 11:12:09 GMT

Title: boyfriends
Pairing: jongdae/yixing
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: really, going from friends to boyfriends is not so different now is it?
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: idk what this is tbh just idk man sobs same verse as where everyone hates chanyeol as a friend but secretly loves him. ah. anyways here is the actual sequel. ~~hang on there's more to come.~~

boyfriends

Yixing probably wouldn’t be able to tell when it started to feel so normal to have Jongdae around for almost everything. Maybe when they first met, but that’d be pretty weird since they did meet when they were in kindergarten and he doesn’t remember half of that time. The only memory he would say he has is being taken in and pulled along to the playground when he thought he might never integrate because of the difference of culture.

His parents moved to Korea while he was still pretty young, barely able to talk in anything but mandarin and barely able to hold a type of conversation with anyone who didn’t speak the same language as him. Jongdae has a better memory of it though; he’s always been better at anything Yixing used to fail at.

“I remember that I used to say a lot and you’d just give me a blank stare than smile a bit, it was adorable,” He said once, then stopped and shook his head with a small smile lowering his head as he added, “It’s still adorable.” And yes, it kind of makes it a bit endearing when Yixing thinks back on it, he should have caught on the signs shouldn’t he? That’s why he’s the closest to Jongdae, it’s because they’ve been together for as long as he can remember and he can tell how Jongdae feels by just looking at him.

But he hasn’t seen this coming, and he doesn’t know if he should feel angry at himself or everyone else for knowing and not telling him. It’s a bit of both right now, he thinks as he tries to keep his eyes focused on the words dancing in front of him, he’s trying to wrap his around it, but he’s been handling it pretty badly so far. He’s just not sure about how to handle this.

Sure, they’ve been teased about how closed they were during high school most of the times, he clearly remembers that there was this whole year during their third year where everyone used to think they were dating. But it just started as a rumor, he doesn’t even remember who started that rumor, but then Jongdae said, “Let’s give them a good reason to start rumors.” And it sounded like fun, so they acted it out and went to school hand in hand, used cheesy lines on each other’s and all that.

But that was just for fun; now, now it’s not for fun. He’s pretty sure it’s not for fun that Jongdae did that last night. If it were, then he wouldn’t have confessed right after Yixing kind of panicked and nearly shoved him away. He refuses to admit that he actually did shove him away—gently though; he hasn’t been rough has he?

Ugh, there’s helping it, he can’t just stop to think about it because he wants to. They also happen to live in the same apartment and have been for what, two years or so now? There’s no way to avoid seeing Jongdae or avoid remembering and going through this over and over again. He feels more for Chanyeol who has to sit through breakfast with them though, because he just looks totally awkward and lost as to what to do.

Still, it seems everyone is waiting for Yixing to do something about it, but exactly what is he supposed to do about it? It’s not like he’s ever had any type of experiences with this. Plus this is totally unexpected. Jongdae likes him? It should be announced as the joke of the year, he would, if he didn’t know it would probably just make things worse.

He’s never thought about it though, how is he supposed to work this out? But he can’t keep it up he way it is, can he? Maybe—too much thinking, Yixing decides and picks his phone to dial Baekhyun’s number, he might be the worst person to call right now, but he’s right damn good at scolding people for what they are not doing right.

Plus he’s in a relationship now so he might know how to work with this better than Yixing does, Chanyeol might just make everything worse, he’d rather just not ask advices from him.

Baekhyun picks it up after the second ring and at first Yixing wonders if he’s got the wrong number because all he hears is laughter and then the sound of something crashing and then Baekhyun breathless, “Hey!” that sounds too enthusiastic and Yixing knows this is probably not the best time to be calling when he hears Baekhyun clear his throat to give it a better intonation.

“Xing, what is it?” He says after and Yixing decides to let it go, doesn’t matter if it’s not the right time or not, it’s been going on this way for days he needs to solve this, right now, he’s going to go insane at this rate.

“I need help.” He blurts out, covering his eyes with the back of his hand and flopping down on his bed, lying on his back and he waits, “I’m really lost.”

“Is this about Jongdae?” Baekhyun asks and Yixing isn’t surprised, it looks like everyone knows his only problem right now is the one person he never thought would bring him any troubles at all. He has enough troubles with math problems, but those are practical, those can be resolved no matter what there’s always a solution and Jongdae is usually the one who gets them easily too.

But there’s no way this is just a simple math problem and there’s no way Jongdae can solve this.

“Alright, I’ll come over and—hold on.” The rest of it ends in a rather loud yelp and Baekhyun’s laughing voice trails away before he comes back on, “Jongin wants to help too, is that okay?” he adds once he’s back and Yixing can tell he’s trying to hold something in and he just smiles because he’s pretty sure Jongin is the reason why Baekhyun sounds distracted and kind of frustrated too, but just really happy lately.

Would it be this way if he just accepts the way Jongdae feels towards him? He shakes his head, that’s silly, he doesn’t like Jongdae that way, it’s got to be mutual for it to be that easy going and great right? Right, he convinces himself before replying, “Sure, why not.” Any help besides Chanyeol’s will be welcome; he adds for himself and hangs up.

He feels rather better though, now that he’s figured out he can at least discuss about this with someone who might understand the situation better. Baekhyun did have this kind of crush on Chanyeol for a while and it never worked out, but they stayed friends. Maybe him and Jongdae can have that too?

That’s probably hoping for too much, not everyone is like Chanyeol and Baekhyun, but still, he’d rather have this hope than nothing at all.
It’ll be fine; it should be fine.

“Right, he kissed you, confessed and what did you do?” when Baekhyun puts it that way Yixing suddenly doesn’t want to actually explain how it exactly went down. But he came all the way here and they’ve been sitting on the couch, all three of them, Yixing tucked in between them, feeling kind of caged, mugs in hands and he’s suddenly not so sure this was a good idea.

“Hum—huh, I didn’t do anything?” He tries shrinking between them when they give him rather skeptical glances back and forth, “Okay, okay, first of when he kissed me I kind of pushed him away, just this way,” he says and then tries to mimic the way he did it back then but just manages to almost spill the warm liquid in his mug.

Yixing quickly catches himself before that happens and sighs slumping and trying to let the couch engulf him whole. “I don’t know, it seemed like the right thing to do.”

“You were shocked, so I guess it’s understandable.” Baekhyun says and he totally, totally didn’t expect him to agree so Yixing startles and straightens, “Right? I mean we’ve been friends since kindergarten and I’ve never thought of him that way, it was a real shock.” He nods and sighs softly, “But that was rude.” He mumbles taking a sip from the coffee turning cold by now.

“I could have handled it better.” And it’s not like the kiss was awful or anything like that; it was just surprising. “And when he confessed he just said it then he left, and I didn’t know what to do so I just stayed behind and that’s it.”

“He must feel awful.” Jongin finally says something, he’s been silent the whole time, if not by how he is squished between them, Yixing might have forgotten he was even here. “Yeah, you think so?”

“You didn’t think about that?” Baekhyun asks back instead of Jongin answering to his questions and Yixing turns to look at him, eyebrows arched up, “Well, I just—maybe not?”

“I knew you were oblivious, and it was pretty funny at first, then sad because even Jongin could tell, and he’s been with us for just some months.”

“I’ve noticed that for more than some months.” Jongin interrupts and Baekhyun frowns with a glare, “Right, anyways,” Jongin grabs a pillow and before Yixing can warn he’s smacked Baekhyun with it. He laughs, eventually and Jongin does too, then they both clear their throats and try not to burst out laughing again because Baekhyun might look as displeased as he wants the face he just had before was funny.

“Do you want help or not??” He snaps then and throws the cushion back at Jongin who catches it and sticks his tongue out, “Will you stop it? Go away.” Baekhyun reaches over and starts pushing Jongin off the couch, “I’m trying to help a friend and you’re being an evil human being, go make us,” he stops and looks around then grabs his empty mug, Yixing’s still filled one and pushes it towards Jongin, “more coffee please.”

“But—” Yixing tries to take his mug back but retracts his hand when it’s slapped away, “Jongin-ah, coffee.” Yixing thinks, it’s not going to work, Baekhyun never uses any type of cute actions towards them because they just laugh it off and make more fun of him, but then Jongin just sighs closes his eyes grabs the mugs and he’s gone before Yixing can even warn Baekhyun that it’s not going to work like always.

“So,” Baekhyun settles back in his seat, but blinks at Yixing’s eyes fixated on him, “He’s got it that bad huh?” He says and at first Baekhyun doesn’t seem to catch on what he means then he kinds of flushes and shrugs, “Ask him.” He says as if he’s not sure, but oh, Yixing know that look, he’s seen it a million of times when his sister used to know how to get what she wanted from her boyfriends.

“Well, at least someone who doesn’t laugh at you when you try to be cute.”

“Shut up, Zhang Yixing and listen closely, Jongdae’s liked you ever since I can remember.” Baekhyun returns back to the main topic and Yixing wonders if he can just take a break and rewind to just get back to before Jongdae held his face and leaned in to kiss him to not make it happen, he could run away before it happens, then the world would be a better place.

“I’m just figuring this out.” He sighs and pulls his legs up, crossing them and leans his head against the couch, “What I need right now, is how to get him to talk to me, I don’t like this. It’s been cold and distant, and I kind of, really miss him?”

“You probably do, I think even our physics teacher is starting to question why he never sees you two walking in class together anymore.”

“Really?”

“You’re our most perfect campus couple.” Baekhyun adds like it’s a fact Yixing should have known, but really, when did that happen? How come he’s never heard of this? “I don’t believe this.” But he’s sure if Baekhyun is saying it, it’s probably true, or close to the truth, now he just really wished he’d at least paid even more attention to how they appeared to others too.

But really, it’s not like he cares about how other view his relationship with his friends, especially with Jongdae, they’re too at ease to actually notice how other reacts to how close they are, it’s just kind of a fact that at one point you just lose any awareness of personal space when you’ve been around the same person for almost twenty years now.

“Anyways, I think you should be honest to him.” Baekhyun adds and nods when Yixing glances at him with a frown, “Like how?”

“You said you don’t like him that way right? Just be honest.” Baekhyun shrugs and yes, Yixing also thought about this of course. The thing is he doesn’t know how to approach Jongdae without wanting to immediately turn the other way and run away.

“I don’t know how to do it, that’s what I’m saying.” What if he says the wrong thing and then it just gets worse? If he doesn’t go the right way with this he’s not just going to hurt his best friend but he’s going to lose him too and that’s the worst possible scenario drawing itself in front of his eyes now. But avoiding the matter is also going to bring him to that nightmare, he just wants this to end so he can have what he had like it was, without having to act so careful every time Jongdae is in the same room as him.

He feels awful, really bad that he can’t just let it out and tell him as it is, that he has to be so considerate, that he has to know he wouldn’t like to see Jongdae in pain, hurting over him. Hell no, he doesn’t want that.

“Or maybe, just try it out.” Jongin comes back holding a tray this time with the mugs filled with warm coffee again and settles back in his spot, putting the tray on the table, “Why not? Friends can still be friends and act like lovers, anyways it wouldn’t be so different since you guys did look like you were dating.”

“We did not,” Yixing lets his words trail in a sigh, “This is different.”

“You’ll never know till you try it out.” And yeah, that might be true. It’s not like Jongdae wasn’t attractive, as a matter of fact he is, which is probably why he was part of the most popular and most wanted boyfriend ever since high school. That’s not the problem here, physical attraction had never been part of the equation that came with friendship.

“What do you think?” He asks Baekhyun who looks over at Jongin before sighing and getting up, “He suggested it, so have a talk with him, I’m guessing he’s got a plan or something, I’ll go use the bathroom.” This is just like Baekhyun, when he doesn’t want to take decisions he knows might mean he’ll be responsible if the consequences are too harsh he just runs away and it seems Jongin has noticed it too but he just shakes his head at Baekhyun retreating back and turns back to Yixing.

“So?”

So Yixing finds himself in front of Jongdae’s room, hand held up to knock but can’t bring himself to go ahead and do it. It doesn’t really help that Chanyeol is tilting his head to see if he’s done it yet or not every two minutes, and when it comes to his attention that Yixing’s been standing there and sometimes pacing for almost fifteen minutes now he sighs and steps out from his so called hidden place.

“Just knock, you look dumb.”

Yixing turns a sharp glare at him that quickly flatters in a worried frown, “Is he really inside?”

“I came with him and he directly went in his room since he’s trying to avoid you, you know.” Chanyeol walks towards him and stops in front of the door, before Yixing can figure out what his purpose is, he’s surprised with the sound of three knocks given by Chanyeol’s hand then gaping at him while he shrugs and quickly scampers back to his own room.

“Good luck.” Chanyeol peeks through his door to whisper and totally disappears. If he had been given the time to run away Yixing wouldn’t have stood there to hear Jongdae’s voice, “It’s open.” Jongdae’s voice makes him stiffen instantly, Yixing considers his options, either e goes inside and faces what he has to face or he doesn’t and the world continues with him and Jongdae growing apart again.

But maybe if he just leaves right now he’ll have the chance to do this later, “Are you coming in or not?” Yixing startles and sighs, ah, no, he has to do this right now, he thinks and no, he has to stop thinking too he turns the door’s knob as slowly as possible and finds the room plunged in darkness, no lights on, yet he can spot Jongdae on his bed, holding his laptop on his lap, earphones in his ears and Yixing realizes once he looks up just how much he’s missed him.

It’s not even that he’s got to make this right or not, it’s just he hasn’t talked or had any type of physical contact or even verbal with someone he’s always kind of been attached to the hip with and it hits him so hard he stops short and watches Jongdae straightens, it’s like he can tell Jongdae feels the same, or maybe it’s just that he wishes it so hard he starts believing that Jongdae feels the same.

Either way, when he closes the door behind him, he’s thankful for how dark the room turns out to be aside from the light that comes from Jongdae’s laptop’s screen, there’s nothing but stillness inside the room that makes him clears his throat to get rid of the tightening ring stealing his voice.

“I—”
“Wha—”

Yixing’s smile is faint but then he takes a step forward and really, it’s all clear to him now that if he has to do this to not lose sight of Jongdae again he will do it, even if it might not end up right, but at least this way he’s got a way of making amend if it ever goes wrong.

Of course, Jongdae will realize it’s a silly thing to do right? Fall for your best friend is just like falling for the teacher who is always nice to you, it’s just bound to happen, it’s passable, it will go away, it has to go away so they can go back to how they were.

“Can we talk?” Yixing asks and walks to the bed without bumping into any furniture.

He knows this room like the palm of his hand, he knows where the desktop is and he passes by, he knows right before getting to the bedroom there’s this table that Jongdae made him buy when they moved in and he passes right by it, tapping his fingers against the wood before finding the bed and crawling on it to sit next to Jongdae whose attention returned to the laptop’s screen.

“Sure, what is it?” Jongdae answers back, lips tight and eyebrows furrowed, Yixing can tell by how his fingers have stopped moving above his keyboard that he’s not sure of what to do with his body, how to react, he shrugs and slides closer to Jongdae’s side, reaches over and closes the laptop.

“What are you doing?” Jongdae startles and pulls his hands out before they can be squished down and he finally turns to look at Yixing, though now with the laptop closed Yixing can’t see his face and he’s sure Jongdae can’t see his either, but he knows where he is and that’s enough for now.

“I—” Yixing starts and realizes it’s easier yet a bit harder to talk with Jongdae, knowing he is here, but not being able to see how he’s going to react to his next words, “Let’s try it.” He blurts out quickly and it blows in the silent dark room, so fast and soft it almost sounds like a breeze of air passing through without even being noticed.

Yixing thinks Jongdae might not have heard him, then—“Try what?” jongdae asks and he breathes at the end of his question, Yixing finds himself wondering if he’s frowning or biting on his bottom lip right now, habits he does when he’s nervous, confused or not sure of how to interpret something.

“You know, hum, you confessed last time and, well.” Now he’s stuttering and he doesn’t know why, he just is, it was easy, now it’s harder especially when he hears the bed dips and he can feel Jongdae shifting from his sitting position.

“And?” Jongdae’s voice breaks through his pause and he covers his face with his hands, leaning his head against the wall and letting out a sigh, Yixing finally says, “Being boyfriends, dating—yeah, hum,” he clears his throat, “Let’s try it out.”

It’s like Jongdae doesn’t even realize how much strength it’s taking him to voice this out, the worst is, he’s sure Jongdae knew what he was talking about right from the first words he uttered. It’s back to being silent again, with nothing but their breathing being heard and the sound of the laptop running then a shifting again and Yixing holds his breath in.

He doesn’t want to move, now the dark that’s surrounding them seems rather intimidating and kind of makes him anticipate what Jongdae is trying to do when he feels the bed weight lessen and he’s sure he’s the only one sitting on it now.

Jongdae turns the light on and Yixing shies away, pulling his legs up and crossing them and he keeps his eyes shut tight to not get blinded by the sudden brightness, he figures he’d rather listen to Jongdae’s footsteps making their way back to the bed than actually opening his eyes to watch him do so.

But when he hears the footsteps come to a stop Yixing opens an eye to peek and finds Jongdae standing at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, an eyebrow quirked up at him with an expression that looked as doubtful as Yixing had been yesterday when he was listening to Jongin talk to him about the said plan.

“You want to try going out with me?” Jongdae asks like he’s still processing the information and deciding whether or not it’s even a good idea, or if Yixing is just joking right now, because let’s face it, the more Yixing words it inside of his head, the more ridiculous it gets, but there really isn’t a better way of putting it, is there?

“Yeah,” so he says and nods, opening his eyes to look up at Jongdae’s frown now fully settling on his face before he sighs and looks away, brings a hand to his hair, ruffling it till it’s sticking out of their brushed state again and then pushing them back into their place.

Yixing’s always been kind of jealous of how Jongdae’s hair could be messed with yet arranged back to the way they were styled without even the need of a brush. So as they grew up, he’s taken to the liking of actually messing with Jongdae’s hair until he had to slap his hand away and make it clear that he was annoyed.

The gesture makes him keep his eyes on Jongdae’s hands then hair with a small smile stretching his mouth into a line he quickly bites down what being boyfriends is actually going to change? He’s probably going to still annoy Jongdae with everything he’s been annoying him with for years now.

It takes awhile for him to consider the changes and the things that aren’t going to be so different, so long lost in those thoughts that he doesn’t notice Jongdae moving from his spot and going back to the bed until he’s so close Yixing startles a bit, blinking at Jongdae’s face so close to his he’s sure he can feel his breath ticking his nose.

He opens his mouth to ask what Jongdae is looking at while wondering when he got so close, but the words die in the back of his throat, tightening again and it’s the feeling of nervousness back again, Yixing tightens his hands held together on his lap and worries on his bottom lip until he catches Jongdae’s eyes moving to his mouth and he quickly lets go of his lip.

Yixing’s not sure for how long he stays this way, waiting for Jongdae to say something, or explain why he’s so close until he leans in closer, but he knows how long it takes for him to not have Jongdae’s mouth almost pressed to his to when he feels all his senses aware of Jongdae’s presence, breathing, his eyelashes fluttering close and how he hesitates, like he’s testing the water before jumping in, trying to see if it’s not too cold or too hot and then Yixing realizes, eyes wide—he’s being tested.

Once he does realize that though, it’s the surge of determination to make sure Jongdae doesn’t think he’s joking about this and that when he says he’s going to do something he most definitely won’t back out because he feels like jumping out of his skin instead of going further that makes Yixing close the distance.

And it takes less than a second for that to happen, though it feels like an eternity until it’s done and time barely matters anymore.

Yixing tilts his head, eyes open on Jongdae’s surprised expression then he closes them and leans in closer, presses his mouth openly around Jongdae’s upper lip, pulling on it. He’s doing this for the sake of making Jongdae aware that this is not alright, this is not right, it shouldn’t be right, but Yixing remembers Jongdae’s mouth when he kissed him in the library weeks ago and maybe that’s why it feels like this is something he’s been waiting for, wondering how it’d feel again.

The thing is, he doesn’t just stop there, his hands move on their own accords and he ends clutching Jongdae’s shirt and tugging him down, closer, Yixing breathes against Jongdae’s mouth when it opens under his and he starts kissing him back, slowly, still testing.

Yixing should be thinking about how this shouldn’t actually feel like it fits, like it’s not actually that bad to be kissing his best friend, except he’s not thinking at all, he’s just kissing Jongdae and being kissed back and he lets out a soft noise that he can’t swallow around Jongdae’s tongue in his mouth, his fingers tightening his hold on Jongdae’s shirt and his skin shuddering when Jongdae’s fingers rest against the nape of his neck.

He’s not thinking at all, not anymore, not until Jongdae stops kissing him and pulls back with his fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck and a quick swipe of his tongue against Yixing’s bottom lip and there’s nothing but a gush of air that makes Yixing whine softly, though this time the sounds stays inside of his chest, quiet.

“You’re serious.” Jongdae says once he stops and Yixing just nods, not opening his eyes, he can’t bring himself to look at him, not yet.

He still wants Jongdae’s lips back on his; he wants Jongdae’s breathe mingling with his own again, brush of air inside of his mouth. Jongdae’s fingers tighten on his neck and he pulls him back in, as if he can read his mind even with Yixing’s eyes closed and his thoughts so locked and he’s kissing Yixing’s waiting mouth again.

There isn’t that much that changes, or Yixing would like to actually think that.

Except the morning that follows what he calls the deal that’s going to get him back to a normal life is a bumpy ride to the most confusing burst of emotions he’s ever experienced. He calls it the deal because he really doesn’t know what other names he could refer to this as.

Even Chanyeol notices there’s something different, though Jongdae’s actions are still a little bit hesitant, but it feels as if he can’t really help it when he reaches to touch Yixing, a squeeze of his side, or just pulling on his arm and tugging on his shirt and then leaning close to rest his head on his shoulder.

Those are the things they usually did before what Yixing calls the big incident of course, but there’s just something different in the way Jongdae breathes down his neck and smiles against his skin, he’s also very aware of Jongdae’s mouth putting more pressure against his skin. He’s not sure if Jongdae knows that it gets to him in a different way than it should, but he just gets up without mentioning anything, shots a grin at Chanyeol whose eyes have been on them the whole time, “I’m off.” He says and leaves then.

It’s only once he’s out of the apartment that Yixing realizes he’s been holding his breath in and he lets it out softly as to not disturb the peaceful silence that’s been installed in the kitchen, but trust Chanyeol to question everything and disturb any type of peace if there is any, “Are you guys official now?” he asks as soon as Yixing starts drinking his coffee and he almost spits out his drink all over the kitchen counter and himself but chokes instead, he has to cough for awhile before it stops burning his throat.

“W—we’re just trying it out.” Yixing mumbles and totally ignores Chanyeol’s attempt to ask more question and probe more by standing and grabbing his bag, “Gonna be late, see ya.” He quickly covers Chanyeol’s words and rushes out.

It’s only when he’s out of their building, waiting for the bus stop and feeling relieved that Jongdae’s already gone that Yixing starts to think about how he’s wrong, totally wrong, his heart is still pounding and this definitely was not part of the plan at all.

Something did change.

Eventually his first reaction is to avoid whatever it is that’s changed, it goes well during their classes, they do have at least three classes together and it would be awful if he had to feel so confused or out of it every time he was near Jongdae so Yixing’s grateful it just feels familiar and nothing else.

But then he figures it’s just the lessons and the professor’s voice that actually helped distracting him from Jongdae’s presence occupying his every little thought, and that he actually really can’t help but want to return his every little touch too.

It doesn’t help that it feels as if Jongdae practically glues himself to Yixing’s side as soon as they’ve got their usual break and when Baekhyun joins them later in the library he has to clear his throat to get both of their attention because they’ve been caught in a staring contest that was this close to ending up in a make-out session because their faces got closer without them realizing.

Yixing flushes bright red and he’s quite relieved he’s not the only one with a colored face, but Baekhyun seems to find it amusing, at least someone’s amused by what’s happening. Then Yixing decides it’s his chance to talk to Baekhyun about the sudden development over just one night.

“Baekhyun, come with me.” He gets up as quickly as possible, almost knocks his chair over in the process but Jongdae catches it without looking up though Yixing looks down at him and nibbles on his bottom lip until he hears Baekhyun clear his throat again and he snaps out of it, “Wanted to talk?” Baekhyun says arching an eyebrow when Yixing looks at him, “Yeah,” he says then shakes his head out of his thoughts.

“Let’s go?” Baekhyun says and starts walking expecting Yixing to follow of course so he does. He’s got the deepest frown on his face on they find a quiet spot to discuss and he feels Baekhyun’s finger pushing in the middle of where his frown ends, Yixing sighs and lightly pushes his hand away.

“You’re already getting wrinkles and it’s just been a day, is it that hard?”

“Yes.” Yixing says without adding more explanation and Baekhyun seems to wait for one as he just stands still and says nothing, just keeps his eyes on him until Yixing sighs heavily, “I kissed him.”

“I knew it’d be hard—but whaa—what?” Baekhyun stops in whatever he was going to say and widens his eyes before grinning from ear to ear, “I knew you had it in you.” He adds and pats Yixing’s shoulder, “Good job, if it’s going great, what did you want to talk about?”

“It’s not going great, I don’t have any control over this, it just happens.” Yixing starts blurting out and he’s half annoyed half lost now as to why Baekhyun isn’t panicking because he’s totally losing it here, “We fucking made-out in his room and almost went as far as grinding and all that shit, this is not right.”

It’s also not right that all Baekhyun does is stare then laugh in his face, “There’s nothing funny here.” Yixing frowns when it all does is make Baekhyun laugh even more to the point that he has to cover his mouth to stop or they might get unwanted attention from the librarian who he was sure was looking for the source of disturbance now.

“Right, nothing funny, you’re telling me you and Jongdae almost had sex and it’s not funny.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, “We didn’t almost have sex.”

“If you’ve made it that far it can be considered as almost having sex.”

Yixing wants to argue against that, not true, almost had sex with Jongdae? Not true, he thinks again and shakes his head but it’s quite obvious that Baekhyun isn’t saying this just to make fun of him but because he thinks it’s true.

Then it’s so ridiculous that it’s true that he starts to understand why Baekhyun is laughing, it’d be like if Baekhyun and Chanyeol ended up dating instead of how it is right now. The thought just makes him shake his head with a sigh, Baekhyun just grabs his arm, “Tell you what, give it a week we’ll see how it goes.”

Yixing nods, that sounds like a more reasonable thing to do. Maybe he’s worried for nothing because this is something he’s never considered before. Maybe during the week it will go back to normal, the normal he’s used to, not the normal Jongdae’s new found feelings seems to be pulling him in.

He really, really hopes this is going to go well.

Of course, nothing goes well. Not in the sense it’d like to go as well. The entire week he has to take it upon himself to not just vanish into thin air and maybe make one with space where he can’t actually witness second hand embarrassment. Actually, it gets worse with each passing day.

Except for the physical part, of course that’s under control. So what if he lets Jongdae pull him on his lap from time to time? That’s alright, they used to do it before too. So what if Jongdae settles on his lap too and seems to just want to melt against his sides when they’re on the couch, totally the normal he’s used to.

What’s not good, what’s not going well is Yixing’s reaction faced to those little things that he should be used to. What’s not normal is how he nearly catches himself jumping once when Jongdae slides an arm under his shirt and around him and smiles at him with a little endearing expression and he almost leans in to kiss him and that happens while they’re studying in the god damn empty hall because Jongdae suggested they don’t go to the library.

Jongdae makes it easier for him and kisses him before he can actually do it though. But he thought about doing it, he actually thought of it, with shudders that just wouldn’t stop surfacing where Jongdae’s arm was still curled up around him, on his skin and just how Yixing wanted to grab onto Jongdae’s hand and move it further, or slide his own hand under Jongdae’s shirt and see how it’d fit, right, wrong?

(He never got the chance to go that far because someone showed up looking for them apparently, which was a relief, though not so much when he realized it was Chanyeol who spotted them and who interrupted.)

But the bad part is that instead of helping everyone seems to be taking it for granted that everything’s going well. Yixing too, starts feeling like it’s going well, at first he doesn’t realize it of course. When during the second week, what he’d started to consider as troublesome just changes to confusing, because he wakes up with the feeling that if he sees Jongdae he’s going to lean in and kiss him or reach for a part of his body and pull him close and keep him there.

It’s not just a thought that he doesn’t act on though, it’s a thought that follows him out of his bed, out of his bedroom and into the kitchen and it’s so glued to his mind that he ends up doing it.

He doesn’t even recall how he does it, but he walks with just one goal in his head to Jongdae who doesn’t notice him at first until Chanyeol beams up at him, holding a mug in his hand and looks like he’s going to say something but he realizes with a pout that Yixing’s not even paying attention to him so he also watches as quietly as Jongdae who at first gets a bit startled by the sudden raw attention given to him and Yixing pressing his mouth against his, and scrunches his nose when he notices he hasn’t even brushed his teeth, still, he just smiels nd kisses him back and Yixing could melt if he wasn’t so out of it.

When he pulls back he sighs before taking the seat next to Jongdae and dropping his head on Jongdae’s shoulder, he can barely breathe normally when he feels Jongdae laugh against his hair, cheeks pressed to it and he doesn’t even want to care when he hears Chanyeol sighs next to them and makes a puking sound before standing up and placing the mug in front of him then leaving with a, “I’ll go somewhere where I won’t be a third wheel.”

Yixing’s sure he hears a you guys are more disgusting than Baekhyun and Jongin, before he can be out of earshot though. Soon enough he’ll be given an award for the mind that ignore the most embarrassing things in the world, Yixing thinks and reaches for his mug only to stop when Jongdae nudges his shoulder and he looks up at him with a frown, “What?”

“Are you free today?” Jongdae asks with a shrug and Yixing nods a little, biting down on his bottom lip and lowers his eyes on his mug, “Then let’s go on a date.”

Yixing frowns deepens and he works the words in his head, date huh, he thinks and mulls over it again and again, pulls his legs up on the chair and crosses them with his hand holding them together, he brings the mug to his lips and before taking a sip says, “Yeah, sure.” It feels a bit like surrendering, but maybe it’s not so bad to give in without thinking too much about it.

Jongdae kisses his cheek right when he’ about to drink the warm liquid down though and he nearly chokes but swallows it with a bitter cough later on when it burns his throat instead of warming it.

“Yah,” Yixing turns to look at him and complain but he’s shut down with Jongdae’s mouth smiling against his and he closes his eyes.

Yixing figures, he knows the differences between boy friends and boyfriends by now. The first type don’t actually hold hands or find it comfortable to hold them for a whole day, lacing their fingers or actually leaning in so close side to side that when they both turn to look at each other one has to lean in or up to kiss the other.

Yeah, he figures, friends don’t kiss, of course they don’t. Boyfriends do, it’s not even that they don’t do it, it’s just that they don’t feel like kissing the way lovers do. Except, he’s starting to feel like he wants to kiss Jongdae every time he looks at him and it’s getting so exhausting to try to fight it off during half of the date that after that half is done he excuses himself when they stop at a café for the bathroom.

All he does is lean against the sink and take a good look at himself in the mirror then he says it to himself out loud that yeah, alright, he might like Jongdae in a less friendly and more romantically speaking way.

He feels like calling Baekhyun and Chanyeol maybe to the rescue but then he stops right before doing that. This is his own problem, this isn’t something he can resolve by just calling his friends and making sure they reassure him or more like they make sure he doesn’t stress over it by just agreeing with him.

Was this what Baekhyun was talking about when he said things were going well? He should be angry then if it was.

For all he knows he might have been tricked by Jongin too, and if that’s true, there’s an even better reason to get mad at the entire world for giving him Baekhyun as a friend who can’t even warn him when his boyfriend’s giving one of his best friends the worst advices ever.

Still, he waits to have sorted out a few more things, that this is normal, that yeah alright Jongdae likes him and Yixing kinds of likes him too, kinds of, it seems, understands this better now. Even if it’s still confusing, but Yixing’s been in a relationship before, he knows this feeling. This tingling sensation that runs up to his spine and sometimes makes his face flush bright red and warm under the attention of the person’s they’re directed to.

There’s no denying it, there’s really no freaking turning away from this.

That assumption gets stronger when he walks back to the café hands in his pockets and a slight pout edges itself on his face, because this is so not fair, so not fucking fair but all it takes is for Jongdae to smile at him, “Hey, you missed this.” Call for him, pull him next to him, take his phone out and proceeds to show him a funny videos then laugh and make Yixing laugh, not for the videos but more because Jongdae’s laughing next to him and it’s not fair how everything just fits and he forgets that this should worry him, not leave him lethargic with happiness.

(Jongdae kisses him more than twice during the date, Yixing loses counts of how much he actually kisses him back or initiate it though.)

There should be a record on how fast everything seems to move after that, honestly there should be a reward for how Yixing grows to not mind anything that means that this is getting more etched as an actual relationship more than a friendship and he doesn’t fucking mind it anymore.

But apparently all it gets him are mocking stares from Chanyeol and Baekhyun and a smug grin from Jongin, whom he still has to have a serious talk with for tricking him, now he’s sure that he’s been tricked.

Still, it seems the only person who hasn’t acknowledge much of the changes is the one concerned himself, Kim Jongdae, who corners him in his room once and locks the door then leans against it, arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his face.

“Are we still trying it out?” He asks and at first, Yixing doesn’t get it at all, so the smile he had on his face starts to disappear until he catches on and his eyes widen in sudden realization then he flushes as soon as it sinks in that it’s stopped being a trial to him for awhile now.

“I guess,” Yixing starts, nibbling at the end of his pen and tilting his head, “if I have to be honest with you I’d say it hasn’t been a trial for awhile now.”

Ugh, no that’s not what he was supposed to say Yixing thinks, but then before he can take it back he’s already got a sight full of Jongdae’s beaming face right there, so close and Jongdae’s hands against his cheeks, warm and familiar and yeah alright, never mind, he thinks and lets Jongdae tug him down, mouth open.

“You tricked me.” Yixing finally gets hold of Jongin and let’s say, he’s not really happy about how huge his grin is when he does, “He got you good.” Baekhyun agrees, walking up to them, he holds the tray of drinks to Jongin who takes it and Yixing frowns, not pleased at all, “I’m never listening to any of you anymore.”

“Hey now, if you’d have asked me you wouldn’t be there right now.” Chanyeol walks to them, Jongdae following right behind, “You’d be there years ago.” He adds with a cheeky grin and alright everyone starts laughing except for Jongdae who just isn’t sure of what is going on and Yixing who just doesn’t find this amusing at all.

“Now can you stop whining about this so we can actually enjoy a movie night, Xing-ah, hm?” Baekhyun leaves Jongin’s side to go to him and holds out his arm so Yixing can hook both of theirs together and he nods with a sigh, guess just for now.

“Also you should cheer up at least you didn’t fall for Chanyeol.” Jongin adds behind and although it earns him a smack on the back of his head, it’s totally worth what comes next, “Yeah man, like our Chanyeol’s turned into a certified stalker lately.”

“Yah, you guys, honestly, I was not stalking him, I just had to ask him one thing.”

“You were definitely stalking him.” Jongin backs up and even Jongdae joins, “I hate to say this, but I have to agree there.”

Chanyeol shots him a glare, “How would you know that? You’ve been living in a world that starts with Y and ends with G and—ow.” Chanyeol rubs his arm with a pout, “Fine, fine, but I wasn’t stalking, why would I? He’s not even my type.”

“Sure—sure Chanyeol.” Yixing snorts when the three others let that out at the same time then he grins from ear to ear, “Gotta tell me more about this new lover Park Chanyeol, I thought we were friends.”

“For god sake, guys.” Chanyeol’s whining can be heard through the whole theatre, but everyone else just laughs.

---

a/n: guys chanyeol deserves to be tortured to death i have someone in head for him but if you have suggestions let me know. it's got to be a really unknown pairing though. no really.

they're all part of the list

doobb — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 01:12:18 GMT

Title: they're all part of the list
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: little things that are part of the reasons why baekhyun really hates his life.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: kind of a sequel to this one shot called 'take a ride' ohoh was working on the side story of it and this came out oopsies orz idk maybe you need to read it first maybe not but this is really just a fun piece that looks into their relationship, well bits of it. it also kind of took a turn of events i didn't think it would take but i like it, it was fun~

they’re all part of the list

i. attention & concentration

Baekhyun knows, by the heat that he can feel on his face that he’s got eyes on him and there’s no way he can focus on reading homework with eyes that seem to be trying to burn a hole through his face.

“What?” He asks without looking up but no answers come to him so he thinks maybe he got this one wrong, until he looks up and regrets it because the flush on his face darkens and he juts out his bottom lip, “I am trying to study, Jongin.”

“What did I do?” Jongin asks with a shrug shaking his head as if he is the most innocent person in the room right now.

“You’re staring.” Baekhyun mumbles, lowering his eyes back to a problem he suddenly realizes he had the wrong answer to, “You’re distracting me, stop staring, I can’t focus.” He whines even more as he searches for his eraser, he starts growing a little impatient, a little annoyed when he can’t find that damn teraser and then it’s suddenly slid right next to his hand and he looks down at it then up at Jongin’s smug grin.

“I’ll kick you out.” Baekhyun threatens and takes the eraser out of Jongin’s grip, “This is not a game.” He adds but he knows that this kind of things goes in one of Jongin’s ears and comes right out of the other, there’s no helping it, Baekhyun is he one to blame for actually falling for someone younger who barely understood the importance of what he’s doing right now.

“Seriously,” Baekhyun sighs and shuts his book, there’s no studying with Jongin still staring at him, now even more at ease with his chin on top of the open palms of his hands, he quirks his eyebrows when Baekhyun frowns clearly displeased, “You’re done studying?”

“No, I’m throwing you out.” Baekhyun says and gets up as soon as the words leave his mouth, “Out Kim Jongin, I’ve got two exams due for the day after tomorrow and studying is vital to me right now.” He reaches for Jongin’s chair and turns it around, “Come on.”

“But hyung,” Jongin starts, as if he just understands that Baekhyun is serious about throwing him out, “I’ll stop staring, I’ll stop promise.” He quickly protests and holds his hands up, “I’ll be good.” He adds and somehow it even makes Baekhyun laugh because, right, like he can do that.

“Last chance.” Baekhyun gives in after much thought, “Last chance.” He repeats with a finger pointed at Jongin’s face who just nods and turns his chair back to face the table while Baekhyun makes his way back to his own and starts looking for where he left off.

It doesn’t even take two minutes for Jongin’s eyes to wander away from his book (that he finds boring to the core by the way) and look up. The first time it happens Baekhyun looks up with a sharp glare and Jongin lowers his eyes with a sheepish grin that he bites off before clearing his throat and turning a page of his book, still looking quite disinterested in what is written inside.

The second time it happens, Baekhyun doesn’t have it in him to be as intimidating as he’d like to be. He’s this close to solving this problem but his mind is taken off it because of how much more frequent Jongin’s eyes looking up become in between the seconds and he can even hear the clock’s seconds dragging on and on.

“Jongin—”

“I can’t help it.” Jongin interrupts him before he can end his sentence and he closes his book happy to discard it and stop pretending, “Sorry?” He says as more of a question because he and Baekhyun know he’s far from being sorry.

“I give up, alright, let’s go out.” Baekhyun sighs as he gives in and closes his notebook, crosses his legs on his chair and leans in, arms on the table, “Where to?” He asks and Jongin’s whole face brightens up, “Movies.” He answers with a nod and Baekhyun frowns looking down at his hands as he feel Jongin’s fingers probing at his left one.

“Had one in mind?” He asks, just as Jongin’s fingers manage to lift his left arm up and settle in the spaces of his fingers, “Not really, let’s just go and see?”

“You’re impossible.” Baekhyun adds softly, nibbling on his bottom lip that he has to let go of for Jongin to get a better hold of his mouth when he leans in and kisses him instead of answering.

“Just shower get dressed.” And really that’s all it takes for Baekhyun to just agree, a smile, a kiss, some words, this contrast that their fingers through each others bring to his eyes and how gentle everything feels yet warm and unsettling, and nods before doing as he’s been told to.

Not before leaning back in for another kiss, that Jongin gives back gladly with a smile that changes to a grin when Baekhyun’s mouth lingers and he sighs against Jongin’s stretched mouth, “I’ll be damned.” Baekhyun mumbles kissing Jongin’s grin, if his friends knew about this.

Being so whipped feels kind of awfully great, really. Awful.

ii. restriction & resolve

Now this is how it should be done, Baekhyun thinks approvingly while going through pages and pages of homework he’s been accumulating and a bit behind because of Jongin sitting in front of him too. Except this time, he’s quiet and with a frown on his face, pencil in his mouth and eyes focused on the piece of paper that he’s got to work on too.

This could be called a group study, except Baekhyun had to ditch Chanyeol and Yixing for this one, but they would be fine. As long s Yixing and Jongdae weren’t in the same room things were fine, but they would have to solve that matter soon too. He thought with a frown that soon mirrored Jongin’s.

Talking about Jongin, he seems stuck on the same page for awhile now, “Need help?” Baekhyun asks leaning in, though as soon as the words leave his mouth he wonders if he’s not just going to regret this if Jongin agrees.

“Hum?” Jongin looks up with a blink, he looks a bit lost before he catches on and lets out a soft “Oh, maybe?” He looks back down at his paper before looking back up at Baekhyun, and yes, yes Baekhyun should have just stayed still in his spot instead of saying anything.

But it’s too late when he realizes so and he barely has the time to pull back before Jongin’s fingers reach for his nose, “Hey,” Jongin says with a small pout and leans in with Baekhyun leaning further away, “If you don’t need help then get back to studying.”

“Well, this time it’s your fault, you distracted me.” Jongin says and it’s horrible that Baekhyun can’t even say this is a lie.

“Alright, I’m to blame, but we have a deal, and if you touch me you break it, if you break it I’m allowed to give you any type of punishment.” He says and leans his back against his chair watching Jongin’s expression change to a worried one, a tron one then a defeated one.

“You’re no fun.”

“You promised.” Baekhyun replies to that and has to really take on himself to not lean in and do something to that dejected face on Jongin’s face, but a deal is a deal. No touches until Jongin’s exams for the first semester are done with a good grade too.

That’s the first thing he came up with when he realized Jongin might actually fail but at the same time make the both of them fail if they kept on ignoring their piled up homework and studying to spend time together. It’ great and all and Baekhyun does miss it, Jongin’s wandering hands that seem to never leave his body alone.

“This is torture, it’s been going on for a week, can we take a break?” Jongin groans and finally give up on his work, “I’m tired and worn out and hyung, you need to not let me die of lack of physical affection.”

Baekhyun snorts and rolls his eyes, “You’ll survive.” Survive is the word, he thinks to himself and ignore the itch of his fingers to give in to Jongin’s words, a break hum, well, exams were next week and they’re stuck in the middle of this one, and Baekhyun’s resolve was breaking bit by bit but no, he shakes his head, he can’t just give in every time Jongin looks like he’s going to die and uses any methods he knows will work on him.

“Hyung,” like this soft tone that means he clearly is trying to win this argument, “just this once.”

Baekhyun stiffens and chomps on the end of his pen, “No,” he means to sound firmer than this, but he’s failing harder than he’s ever failed anything in his life.

There’s a silence in which he doesn’t even dare look up then, “Alright.” Jongin just agrees, he just agrees and Jongin never agrees to anything he doesn’t want to do so that makes Baekhyun uneasy all of a sudden. He squirms in his seat, brings his legs up and glances up when minutes goes by and Jongin hasn’t said a word, something like, joking and trick him into giving in again.

He really just gave in, Baekhyun frowns and tries to chase away the uneasiness and disappointment, wait he’s disappointed? He just chews harder and harder on his pen, what the, that’s not how it works. Jongin never gives in, why so then it really doesn’t matter anymore.

Baekhyun lets go of everything he’s been holding and his hands reaches for Jongin’s face, “A break sounds good.” He says in a breath as soon as his hands find contact with Jongin’s skin and it feels so new and raw against his palms that he’s scared of how he just breathes in and leans further in with his eyes closed.

He hears books falling and pens and pencils scattering around but all that really matters is that they’re not even doing anything but touching and it’s so enthralling, how can it be so breathtakingly painful to relive back in this? That was a stupid, stupid deal Baekhyun thinks and finally opens his eyes when he flops down on Jongin’s lap with no recollection of how he even got there—did he crawl over the table?

“Forget the deal.” Baekhyun says when he can speak again, his voice is husky and barely audible, stuck in his throat that he clears up, it’s actually quite painful when Jongin’s fingers find their ways against his neck behind his ears and down to his hip, fiddle with the end of his polo before sliding a thumb under and Baekhyun’s bottom lip starts hurting as soon as his teeth sinks in the flesh and he drops his forehead against Jongin’s.

Everything feels heightened and he hadn’t realized that he missed it that much.

“I missed you.” Jongin says with his mouth pressed against his cheek, close to his ears then down to his neck and Baekhyun just tightly wraps himself, arms and legs around Jongin and tightens his hold until he’s sure his whole body is just breathing Jongin and all he can feel is Jongin everywhere through the fabric of his clothes and against his skin.

iii. comforting & holding

“I’ll fail, I’m going to fail.” Baekhyun groans and wraps himself in his bed, he just doesn’t want to face anything right now not even Jongin sitting at the end of his ebd and nudging his leg, well, what he assumes is Baekhyun’s leg.

“Stop being dramatic.” Jongin says with a light chuckle and Baekhyun whines, curls around himself and fakes a sob, “I haven’t studied enough,” He says then pushes the cover off his face to throw a glare to Jongin, “Thanks to a certain someone.” He hides his face under the covers, “Now I’m going to fail and I’ll have to walk back to class with a look of shame.”

“Failing isn’t such a bad thing, you know, there’s worse.” Jongin starts moving and Baekhyun kicks him with his tucked in legs, “Don’t come here, you’re not allowed anymore, why do you think I’m hiding in between layers of blankets?”

“Because it’s winter and you’re cold?” Jongin laughs and Baekhyun rolls away with his piles of blankets around his body, “I’m serous Jongin, so stay away, I don’t like you right now.”

“That’s gonna be a problem because I still like you right now.” Jongin’s laugh starts becoming contagious, making him relax and Baekhyun’s anger and frustration starts to dissipate for a bit so he peeks out of the cover, “Well, it’s your problem, deal with it.” He says and hides back, he’s still worried about how he did on the exam of last week.

It’s enough of a distracting thought for Jongin to start unwrapping the blankets without him realizing until he feels a breeze and “Jongin!” Baekhyun startles when he feels cold fingers on his neck, his waist and goddamn, “Why are your fingers so cold and get out!” he wiggles and tries to get out of under the covers but Jongin’s cold fingers grip him and they start warming up against his skin.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Jongin chuckles against his ear and pulls him so close Baekhyun just stays still, his back fitting against Jongin’s chest, “You’re not going to fail, you’ll have the best grade in the whole class and even if you don’t, you’ll still have the best grade for me, if that counts.” Jongin laughs and Baekhyun elbows him lightly, “Not funny.”

“sorry, but it’s true, you worry too much, I’m sure you did great.” Jongin’s voice drops to a more serious tone and Baekhyun sighs snuggling closer to Jongin’s heat, “Right? I shouldn’t worry right?” Jongin nods with his cheek pressed against Baekhyun’s and he’s got his mouth pressed in a quick kiss there before returning his cheek on the place he kissed, “Of course, or you’ll get wrinkles, you always do well you dummy.”

Baekhyun hums softly, though he frowns at the dummy comment but he decides to let it go, holds onto Jongin’s arm around him and turns with a smile, he’s not quite close to completely reassured but he’s better now, somehow more calm and he’s sure he’s never been this way the day before the results of how he did on an exam.

Jongin chuckles brushes against his nose along with his own nose after and Baekhyun closes his eyes, presses his lips to the corner of Jongin’s mouth and sighs contently rolling on his side so he’s fully facing Jongin then proceeds to give him a proper kiss.

iv. pride & gratitude

To think the first thing Baekhyun has to do is hit Chanyeol on the head so he stops freaking screaming when Jongin appears on the stage after his name is called. Guess some things just never changes, he thinks with a pretty smug smile on his face when Jongin turns and smile at all of them then raises his folded diploma in his hand.

“Now I can’t call him your high school boy anymore.” Chanyeol sighs.

“Which is a good thing.” Baekhyun nods approving of this turn of event and then focuses his eyes back on Jongin because the best part is to come after all, watch him struggle with an awkward speech that he obviously doesn’t look like he was stressing about it and whining through the whole day to Baekhyun, who obviously enjoyed seeing Jongin just as worked up as he’d never seen him before.

(Except for that one time Baekhyun told him they should break up as an April fools, a bad one that he will never ever try again.)

Then it’s the end of his speech and Jongin takes in a deep breath before searching with his eyes through the crowd, he frowns in concentration until Baekhyun feels his arm being lifted up in the air before he can stop it and Jongin’s eyebrows relax before a small smile edges on his face then he ends with a soft, “Thank you.”

Of course he has to make eye contact with Baekhyun and make it look like he’s talking to him more than to everyone else in the room, because who cares if Baekhyun’s not ready for this kind of things because it makes his heart pick up a rather excessively accelerated pulse.

Baekhyun will kill Chanyeol later, mostly because of how his face flares up with a heat that crawls all the way down to his neck with shudders down his spine and he has to quickly look down because god damn Kim Jongin’s smug grin.

“You did great,” Chanyeol ruffles Jongin’s hair, earning himself a groan and a shove to the side, “Thanks.” Jongin says though, really feeling better after this whole graduation ceremony.

“So what now, you’re all grown up?” Baekhyun joins in, standing on the side with his hands safe in his pockets as he gauges Jongin’s reaction at catching sight of him, “Maybe? I’ve been grown up for awhile though.” Jongin shrugs and Baekhyun settles with a moue on his face, “But I’m sorry that you might have to change your id name on your phone, I’m not a high school boy anymore.”

Chanyeol laughs and Baekhyun sighs, “I’ve done that long time ago.” He protests and Jongin just nods with a grin as wide as the world could be, but warmer than the cold winter biting Baekhyun’s nose right now, “I know.”

“How would you know that?” Baekhyun questions because even though he changed it he never told Jongin he did change it, “I checked your phone last week, by accident of course.” Jongin says with a shrug, like it isn’t such a big deal that he fucking read what Baekhyun changed his id name to.

“You—you saw it?” Baekhyun’s voice, still insecure, comes out in a soft mumble and he looks down when all Jongin does is nod with an innocent façade that Baekhyun would totally like to slap off his face.

“That’s—I’ll just change it again.” Baekhyun decides and pulls his phone out of his pocket to do so, because he’s not going to keep this, but soon as it’s out Jongin grabs his phone and shakes his head holding it up, “I like it, keep it!” He says but Baekhyun jumps to get to his phone, “Give it back, Kim Jongin, I swear to god.”

“Give it here.” That’s Chanyeol’s voice, that’s trouble, no, no, Baekhyun watches his phone falls in the hands of his best friend and just this is so not what he should have come to.

Of course Chanyeol reads through his contacts and Jongin holds him back with a tight grip around his body when Baekhyun tries to stop this disaster from happening. It’s not that the nickname is a bad one or a cheesy one, it’s just, “It’s temporary, that’s why it’s got a question mark, and I’ve got a boyfriend who should mind his own business Chanyeol give me back my phone.”

But it happens, Chanyeol smiles and Baekhyun knows it’s too late so he just stops struggling resting his back against Jongin and tilts his head to look up at him with a disapproving glare.

“It’s a cute one.” Jongin says, “What?” He asks and Baekhyun just keep quiet so he leans in and nips at the tip of his reddening nose, “You’ll survive.”

Chanyeol quickly deletes the interrogation mark at the end of the id name love? And nods proudly to himself before holding it up to show his work to the entire crowd around them, then it becomes a promise for Baekhyun to change his circle of friend especially those who shouts, “Look, my friend’s in love!”

God damn it.

---

a/n: on a little side note i might write more side stories based on this verse because i kind of really love it idky sobs

Hold on tight 3/?

doobb — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 01:06:07 GMT

Title: Hold on tight [three]
Pairing: Myungsoo/Sunggyu
Genre: Angst, Romance.
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, Non explicit mention of abuse (sometimes sexual)
Summary:In which Myungsoo is a bartender with a hidden past he ran away from, Sunggyu is trying to survive on his own like always, and it pisses Woohyun off that he still can’t do anything to help. Honestly, Myungsoo never planned on meddling.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: im sorry it took so long sobs i got no excuse for that u-u except i might post two chapters tomorrow for payback orz

|| One || Two ||

Three;

Sunggyu clenched his jaw and shook his head “Stop this.” Woohyun said and grabbed his arm when he tried to get hold of Myungsoo’s hand again, “Let them do their job.” Sunggyu tried to pull his arm free but Woohyun firm grip tightened and he also reached for the other arm, stopping Sunggyu from going anywhere while standing and watching the doctors run with Myungsoo’s body to the urgency room.

“Sunggyu calm down, he’ll be okay, alright?” Woohyun said softly and pressed his forehead against Sunggyu’s back, “He’ll be okay.” He repeated until he felt Sunggyu’s struggles diminish then stop and he slumped and totally relaxed in Woohyun’s arms wrapping themselves around him.

“Let’s go sit and wait.” Woohyun pulled away, one of his hands lingering on Sunggyu’s arm he walked them to the waiting hall and made Sunggyu sit then crouched in front of him to take a good look at his face.

“It’s my fault if he dies.” Sunggyu mumbled, nibbling on his bottom lip when he felt like tears were going to come out again, he didn’t want to cry right now. But looking down at his hands covered in blood—Myungsoo’s blood—and remembering how cold his hand felt earlier when they were pulling him.

“I didn’t think he would do it.” Sunggyu sighed and covered his eyes with his hands, the dried blood leaving a rough feeling against his closed eyelids. Woohyun pursed his mouth, not knowing what to say, he would tell Sunggyu it wasn’t his fault, but he knew it wouldn’t help, so he stayed quiet and felt thankful when he looked up and saw Hoya coming towards them with a tray holding three cups.

“Hey,” Hoya said softly and Woohyun stood to take the tray out of his hands, “How is he?” Hoya asked softly, looking down at Sunggyu with a worried frown then back at Woohyun, “They took him to the emergency room, they’re not back yet.” Woohyun shrugged “Thanks for this, did you call Sungyeol?” He asked and Hoya nodded, “He said he’ll be there soon.”

They both looked back at Sunggyu and Woohyun stood and took hold of Sunggyu’s wrists, pulling them off his face and lifted him up, “Let’s go wash your hands.” Sunggyu pulled his hands back quickly and shook his head crossing his hands and kept his head lowered, “Not until I’m sure he’s fine.”

Woohyun opened his mouth to argue against that but Hoya lifted a hand to touch his shoulder and shook his head when Woohyun looked at him.

“I need some air.” Woohyun sighed, feeling more tense seeing Sunggyu this way than knowing Myungsoo could not make it out, no, Myungsoo would be fine, of course he would, if he wasn’t then he didn’t even want to think about how Sunggyu would beat himself over this.

What happened to his sister weighed down on him enough as it was, he really didn’t need such a strong blow right after he was picking himself up from the first one. It was easier when it was just the both of them and Hanee, because then it felt like Sunggyu was holding onto them and even if sometimes he seemed out of reach, he still leaned on them and let them lean on him.

But it all broke down when Sunggyu nearly lost Hanee and now—now he was just this Sunggyu Woohyun tried as hard as he could to recognize but just couldn’t see as the best friend he always had. He walked out of the hospital and welcomed the cold air that struck him and made him take a deep breath just to cough it out.

It would have been easier if Sunggyu didn’t keep his promises so well.

“Here, drink this.” Hoya sat next to Sunggyu and handed him one of he cup, Sunggyu shook his head but Hoya sighed and thrust the cup towards him anyways, “You’ll fall asleep if you don’t, you’ve been awake for hours.” He said and then added when Sunggyu seemed to not want to cooperate, “Don’t you want to be awake when the doctor comes?”

Sunggyu didn’t reply, looked at the cup and slowly held it in his hands, holding still when they shook lightly and inhaling softly before taking a sip. “And you should do as Woohyun said, your hands are covered in blood.”

Sunggyu let out a bitter chuckle and shrugged, drank the bitter coffee without saying another word so Hoya sighed and leaned in his chair. Woohyun was right to be more worried for Sunggyu than for Myungsoo, since even if Myungsoo wasn’t in a critical state, Sunggyu would still beat himself over it harder than anyone else.

He hadn’t been there for too long to notice that even if Sunggyu seemed distant to most people—not distant in a cold way—just distant in how he treated people like he couldn’t trust them, or let them know what he was thinking, with this blank veil always covering his eyes.

It always seemed like he was more tolerant towards Myungsoo, maybe it was because Myungsoo never looked at him with questions in his eyes, like he wanted to understand why Sunggyu was the way it was, but just wanted to keep everything he knew about Sunggyu to himself.

You didn’t have to be a genius to see Myungsoo’s eyes following someone more often than they usually did. Hoya also had his confirmation tonight when Myungsoo said he can’t find someone to date. But really, of all people it had to be Sunggyu? He could have chosen someone with less trouble, Hoya sighed and started drinking his own coffee before it started to turn cold.

Woohyun turned to walk back inside of the hospital when he heard Sungyeol calling for him and turned around to see him running towards him, face red from probably running and hardly able to breath at all. There was also another man with him who bowed and Woohyun did the same, but there was no time for introduction because Sungyeol grabbed his arm.

“How is he? Myungsoo, and Sunggyu?” He stuttered through his lack of air.

“Myungsoo was in the emergency room when I came out, let’s go inside.” Woohyun nodded towards the man behind Sungyeol, “You’re coming?” He asked and Sungyeol looked back as if he’d forgotten someone was following him, he sighed and reached a hand to hold Dongwoo’s, “Woohyun, this is Dongwoo, and Dongwoo this is Woohyun.” He introduced quickly and started walking inside of the hospital so they had to follow his hasted pace inside.

They reached the waiting hall at the same time as Sunggyu stood up when he saw a doctor walk to him and ask for Myungsoo’s relatives.

“We’re the one who brought him here.” He said and the doctor frowned, “Is there no family member?” Sunggyu shook his head, “We’re like a family to him though, is he okay?” The doctor seemed to hesitate before sighing and looking down at his hands while taking his gloves off, they were covered in blood and Sunggyu swallowed when he took a quick glance at the movement.

“He’s in a stable condition now, we had to stop the bleeding and stitch the wound, he was lucky it didn’t stab any important organs.” Sunggyu nodded, “So he’s okay?” he asked and the doctor looked up at him then nodded, “As okay as he can be from losing so much blood, but you brought him here before he could go unconscious due to the bleeding and there were no internal bleedings so I’d say he’s fine for now, we just need to keep him until he completely heals.”

“Can we see him?” Woohyun cut in when it seemed the doctor would start talking again and when he shook his head Sunggyu took over, “We have to see him.” He added but the doctor sighed, “He needs to rest and usually only family members are allowed in this situation.”

“We’ve known him for longer than his family probably has, you have to let us see him, please.” Sunggyu said in a tone he tried to keep quiet but he had to clear his throat to make his lips stop shaking and tighten his hands held together.

“Only one person.” The doctor said when he reluctantly gave in and Sunggyu turned to face the others, their faces softened and they nodded towards him, “Go ahead.” Woohyun said and patted his back, “I’ll go.” He replied back to the doctor who nodded and nodded behind him, “Follow me then.”

The sight wasn’t worse like he thought it’d be, even though Myungsoo’s face looked pale, it also kind of looked peaceful, like he was just sleeping and he hadn’t looked in so much pain earlier. Sunggyu thanked the doctor who told him he had maximum around thirty minutes to get it done.

Thirty minutes would be enough for now, he thought as he closed the door and walked inside, he pulled a chair and sat facing Myungsoo’s bed. Now that he was here he didn’t know where to start, what to do, so instead of thinking too much about it he searched for Myungsoo’s hand and when he found it he took a deep breath in, feeling relieved to feel it warmer and not as cold as it had been then.

“I’m sorry.” Sunggyu said and pressed his thumb, brushing soft lines against Myungsoo’s palm. “I keep failing to take care of oyu, I’m sorry.” He added and looked up at Myungsoo’s face, staying so still. He was used to this, Myungsoo’s face not showing much.

That was something he really liked about Myungsoo, he didn’t need to show anything on his face, he’d say it if something was bothering him, in his own way. Or he’d just look at you until you knew something was wrong and it just was enough, not many words were needed with Myungsoo.

He was hard to communicate with at times, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Was it because he grew up without being able to show how he felt? Sunggyu never asked, but the day Myungsoo walked inside of the bar, he didn’t look like the usual people who walked in.

He looked proper, too proper even, like he came from another side of this world. The side where the people in the low quarters weren’t allowed to go, up there where everything is easier if you have enough money to survive. But him and Woohyun never asked why he asked for a job, or where he walked back to when he closed the bar.

Where his home was, who he was before walking inside of the bar, they never asked. Myungsoo said he liked it that they never tried to ask him about his past or why he was looking for a job and just accepted him even though he looked different from how he was now.

It was because it didn’t matter then, and when it started to matter, when Myungsoo’s past started to become a curiosity Sunggyu wanted to know while watching him make drinks like he always did it, like it wasn’t new to him. But he said he never worked as a bartender before and wanted to try it out.

It probably was more than that, Sunggyu thought now, feeling taken aback at how little he seemed to know about the Myungsoo who wasn’t in this bed, the Myungsoo who walked in without being invited and found his place between him and Woohyun. No one ever did before, no one before Hanee.

Sunggyu squeezed Myungsoo’s stilled hand and smiled softly at his sleeping face, “You made me curious, good job.” He said to himself and the sleeping Myungsoo, he brought Myungsoo’s hand to his cheek and pressed his face against it before letting it go and placing it back on the bed.

Sunggyu felt like he wanted to know everything but didn’t want to be disappointed or sucked in too deep, but he really wanted to see what it’d be like, if Myungsoo held back onto his hand, held onto him and actually never let go. So many people came and left without warning, and he was exhausted from falling every time someone let go.

“I’ll try, you hear that Myungsoo? I’ll try to not push you away,” He brought a hand to his mouth and breathed in the scent of the dried blood on his palm, he pulled his hand to look at it and sighed, “So when you come back, you have to make sure I keep my word, alright?”

Sunggyu laughed at how silly he felt talking to the empty space and someone who couldn’t hear him, it was silly of course, but everything felt silly when it came to Myungsoo somehow. Letting him see his bruises without feeling guilty but not wanting Woohyun to see it because he couldn’t stand the way he looked so guilty about knowing Sunggyu was this way partly because of him.

“I’m not so good with people,” Sunggyu kept on talking anyways and didn’t try to stop the tears already pricking on his lower eyelashes, “Woohyun said I probably broke myself over trying to be this bad.” He laughed through his tears and wiped away the first ones that fell against his cheeks, “But you make me want to try it and be better at fixing myself, so when you wake up, I’ll work hard to pay every single debt I owe to my life and Hanee’s and then I’ll let you do whatever you want then.”

In a way, Sunggyu was grateful for Myungsoo inability to hear him, because he never talked about Hanee with anyone but Woohyun and that was only because Woohyun had been his childhood friend and was there for him when she was hospitalized.

“I can do it, right?”

Myungsoo was dreaming, it did feel like a dream at least, he wasn’t sure of why he was so sure to be dreaming, but he was sure this wasn’t real. Because Sunggyu was in it and he was smiling and he had no bruise anywhere on his body. He wasn’t wincing or squirming with every movement he had to make.

But this was surely a dream because he couldn’t remember a day when Sunggyu hadn’t looked in pain, physically or just internally. He always seemed to carry something painful inside or on his body as memories of why he was trying to put everything between the world and him.

It was a pleasant dream though, it felt good to see Sunggyu looking so peaceful, without any struggling when Myungsoo brushed a thumb across his cheek, but leaning in instead grabbing hold of Myungsoo’s hand and leaning his cheek against his palm.

Myungsoo smiled at this Sunggyu who leaned in and caught his breath while standing with his face inches away. Myungsoo’s mind caught on to the memory of Sunggyu’s expression after he kissed him two months ago and he froze, more certain by the minute that this was a dream because Sunggyu didn’t look scared or horrified, he looked happy.

He looked like he trusted Myungsoo enough to lean in and press his mouth against Myungsoo’s, closed then opened then lock their lips and Myungsoo breathed in, trying to keep this dream as close to him as possible, but it slipped right through his hands and a blurry sight welcomed him right after.

The first thing he heard was the beeping sound of a machine he would recognize anywhere for having heard it more than enough somewhere between the time when he walked inside of the bar and found Sunggyu behind the counter and when he stepped out of his car and left it in the streets to walk to that bar.

Then he heard his name with a weird low moaning noise that made him think of a bear’s groaning more than a human’s voice, but he could make his name through it. Myungsoo felt his eyes blink a few times, squeezed them to get the fog away and then opened them fully and stared at Sunggyu’s face, inches away from his.

Myungsoo blinked and tried to swallow with a dry throat and ended up coughing a bit and narrowing his eyes at the heavy headache that struck him as soon as his eyes adjusted to the lights. His sight finally cleared up and he stared at Sunggyu’s worried expression turning into a relieved one in a matter of second before frowning.

Myungsoo’s eyes moved from Sunggyu’s face to his surroundings, he hated the familiar smell before he even got the change to see and confirm that he was at the hospital.

“How are you feeling?” Myungsoo looked back at Sunggyu, he almost forgot he was in the same room when he moved to sit in the chair in front of him, Myungsoo sighed, “Dead.” He blurted without thinking and felt something tighten around his fingers, he looked down and noticed Sunggyu was holding onto his hand.

“Is that something you say to someone who’s been wishing it wouldn’t happen for days?” Sunggyu snapped and Myungsoo held his glare without flinching before arching an eyebrow and tried to smile but closed his eyes when he felt his dry lips hurt from the effort.

“How long?” He asked after swallowing again and Sunggyu shrugged, “Maybe around a week or more.” Then his face softened and he opened his mouth to say something, but the words died with the sound of the door opening and Sungyeol walking inside, “I brought drinks, and food!” Sungyeol exclaimed and Woohyun and Hoya followed behind him.

But he stopped right where he was when Myungsoo turned to look at the door and they all widened their eyes at seeing him awake. Woohyun was the first one to walk past Sungyeol and rush to Myungsoo’s side, “You’re finally awake, geez, do you know how worried we were?” Woohyun leaned over and ruffled Myungsoo’s bangs, laughing at his annoyed stare.

Sunggyu looked up with a smile as they all gathered around Myungsoo and gave his hand a squeeze before slipping it out but found himself unable to because Myungsoo squeezed back and tightened his grip, stopping him from letting go.

Sungyeol and Hoya kept talking about how they stayed there all the time but Sunggyu probably stayed more than them, but that was because Sunggyu was there when it happened so he was worried to death and all Sunggyu wanted to do was tell him to shut the fuck up. But when he looked up to say that he caught Woohyun staring at him with a knowing smile and a nod towards his and Myungsoo’s hands, so he quickly ducked his head low and mumbled under his breath.

Myungsoo stared at the spoon pointed to his mouth before reluctantly parting his lips to let it slide inside, the porridge was seriously disgusting, it tasted of nothing and he really just wanted something good to eat. He’s been in this hospital bed for two days and he already hated it, aside from the fact that Sunggyu was feeding him like there was a gun on his head threatening him to do it or he’d be dead this moment, everything else was making him nauseous.

“I can do it myself.” He said and reached for the bowl but Sunggyu shook his head and pushed the full spoon to his mouth again, “I was told to take care of you.” He mumbled and Myungsoo laughed softly, “Since when do you listen to Woohyun?” He asked, knowing without having to ask that Woohyun must have been the one to address such a stupid order at Sunggyu.

“Since today.” Sunggyu mumbled, puffed a cheek and sighed, “Just stay quiet and eat.” Myungsoo shook his head at that, “Kim Sunggyu is feeding me and I have to stay quiet like it’s a normal thing?” He asked with a mocking smirk that he regretted when Sunggyu poked the spoon too hard against his lips, “Eat."

“Fine.” Myungsoo mumbled and ate quietly the rest of the bowl porridge, “This is gross.” He said when he was done but Sunggyu shrugged, “But you ate it all.” Myungsoo nodded and looked at Sunggyu, watched him place the bowl back on its tray behind and couldn’t help the smile that appeard on his face when Sunggyu turned and caught him staring.

“What are you grinning for?” Sunggyu frowned, leaning forward with his hands between his legs holding the end of the chair tightly.

“Am I?” Myungsoo asked back, leaning forward. Sunggyu startled and moved back in a sudden move that had the chair tilting dangerously back. Myungsoo laughed softly when he managed to keep his balance and threw a glare his way. “Don’t get so close all of a sudden.” Sunggyu complained and looked at his clock, “Where is Woohyun, I’m tired of baby sitting, it’s not like I’m a nurse.”

Instead of offending him, the statement made Myungsoo laugh as much as he could with the stitches still making anything that needed his stomach muscles to move painful. He held a hand against the wound and pursed his mouth to stop laughing.

“That’s it, I’m calling Woohyun.” Sunggyu exclaimed and grabbed his phone at the same time as it started to vibrate, he frowned at the name on his screen reading Woohyun and picked up the call. “Just where are you?” He asked as soon as he heard Woohyun’s voice say his name.

“Sunggyu, it’s Hanee.” Woohyun started and he didn’t need to say more for Sunggyu to straightened in his chair then stand up and grab his jacket and head for the door, “What happened?” Sunggyu asked while rushing out of the door, but he quickly remembered something and came back in Myungsoo’s room, “Wait.” He told Woohyun and held the phone away to try to give some type of explanation at Myungsoo’s inquiring arched eyebrows.

“I—I need to go, sorry, Woohyun will come later.” He blurted out quickly; trying not to just run away when Myungsoo nodded, “Take care.” He said and closed the door, “What happened?” He repeated again taking the phone back against his ear.

“She ran away, the doctors said they came in her room and she was gone.” Woohyun explained while Sunggyu tried his best to not just scream about how they could lose a little girl so easily? Honestly, aren’t there people to see patients walking around? She wasn’t even in a condition to be going anywhere.

“Did you try calling her?” Sunggyu asked, she never went anywhere without her phone because he told her to not do it.

“They said she left it behind, she took her clothes and left everything else behind.”

“Why didn’t they call me?!” He finally cracked and yelled at Woohyun, Sunggyu tried to calm himself down while stopping a taxi, but as hard as he tried to imagine all the places she could have gone without her phone and any way of contacting her, the more worried he grew. He just wished they didn’t go as far as to go take her.

“Do you think?” He heard Woohyun ask but not finish his sentence and he quickly shook his head, “They don’t know about Hanee.” He was certain of that, on that side there wasn’t anything to worry about.

At least he hoped so.

take a ride

doobb — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 19:24:07 GMT

Title: take a ride
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun, friendship!baekyeoljongyi (figureoutthisnameomfg)
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: the road to a perfect ride is on your bike.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: i haven't written this much in awhile, i feel both exhausted, and accomplished but really just spent ~~(it's been going on for a week IM SO DONE)~~ i love this, it's different from things i've written before and kind of not so different, i don't know, it just felt really nice writing it. ~~it might have a sequel with another pairing/coughs/~~

take a ride

It’s been going on for a week now, he gets in the bus sits by the window and he waits for the corner where he can start seeing the bicycle wheels appear and he knows this is pretty much a bit like stalking but he’s just going to keep persuading himself that it’s not stalking unless you follow the person.

Because he’s not following him of course, it’s just that he happens to ride his bicycle by here always at the same hour, wearing a high school uniform with his bag hanging around his shoulders. It makes him think of the time when he had to ride down the street to get to his school too, getting old makes you pay attention to really useless details, doesn’t it?

Baekhyun just figured if he’s intrigued why not make his life even better by always trying to catch sight of him while he’s taking the bus to his university and well, it just turns out that it’s been going on for a week now.

It’s not like he’s been counting the days either, ah who is he lying to, he’s been counting every minutes it takes for the bicycle to ride next to the bus and every minutes it takes for it to turn left while the bus just goes straight and Baekhyun has to turn around and look at it disappear then turn back in his seat with a sigh and a small smile on his face.

“I’m an idiot.” He mumbles to himself again and he’s pretty sure he’s said this a lot of times already.

“You know, you could try and tap on the window to get his attention?” Baekhyun looks up with a frown at Jongdae who just shrugs, “It was just an idea, it might at least give you an idea of what he looks like from the front and not just from his side profile you know?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol’s voice cuts in and he drops next to Baekhyun, trapping him between him and Jongdae and then Baekhyun remembers why he was in a hurry earlier to leave and go sit in the front. But it’s too late, he’s stuck as soon as the professor walks in and he sighs knowing he won’t be able to keep up with today’s lesson.

“Since when do you even like younger ones?” Jongdae leans in and says in a hushed voice, well he thinks it’s a hushed voice but Baekhyun is pretty sure anyone close by can hear him, Jongdae doesn’t have a whispering voice because he’s been hanging way too much with Chanyeol and Yixing.

“I don’t like younger ones, don’t make it sound like I’ve always—why are we even talking about this?” The thing is Baekhyun too, doesn’t have a whispering voice, and he’s never been one to have that kind of voice, he’s just always been loud and bit too cheery at times. But he blames it all on his circle of friends really.

“Because it’s been years after you got over your crush on Chanyeol that you haven’t shown interest in anyone?” Jongdae says with this voice that sounds like it’s so obvious anyone would be asking this question of they knew Baekhyun’s love life and it’s not, first of.

“I never had a crush on Chanyeol.” Baekhyun says and tries to keep his voice low, “Yes you did.” That’s Chanyeol who is leaning in way too close and Baekhyun sighs and turns to shot his said best friend a glare, “Not true.”

“It’s not like you ever admitted it.” Jongdae points out and Chanyeol hums softly nodding in agreement, “But we all knew it.”

“You mean you just assumed it?” Baekhyun scoffs and then tries to pick up on some of the words the teacher is saying when he feels him looking up at their desk, “Anyone who would have a crush on Chanyeol should be doomed to a pitiful love life.” Baekhyun mumbles and hopes, hopes this will close this topic but apparently not, Jongdae bursts out laughing.

Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a tap on his back that actually hurts and he ends up choking and nearly screaming out in pain but when he tries to stop it it comes out in a squeak he immediately knows everyone in the classroom heard when the professor’s voice stops.

“Are you guys done or would you like to take this outside?”

Baekhyun clears his throat and lowers his head, he needs new friends, “I’m great.” Chanyeol chuckles next to him.

Baekhyun is wrapping his scarf around him and walking to his bus stop when he actually feels trouble coming to him, it just works that way with the three people who appears soon as he thinks about it and yeah he just shakes his head, “No, you guys go your own fucking way.”

“Hey come on now, we’ve decided you need help from your best friends.” Jongdae says and swings an arm around Baekhyun pulling him close to his side and squeezing his shoulder.

“To woo your high school boy.” Yixing adds, standing right behind and deciding sliding his arms on Baekhyun’s shoulders is a good idea to make him stumble just great. Then there’s Chanyeol who just reaches a hand for Baekhyun’s neck and he lets out a soft chuckle before pulling away with a sigh.

“What would I be without my sidekicks huh?”

“Exactly,” Chanyeol follows then frowns when the other two gives him a stern look and he laughs scratching the back of his head, “What? Being sidekick isn’t good?”

That, now that makes Baekhyun laugh though he gets a few red bruises from pinches on his cheeks and he’s sure his shoulders are going to need a good hour of resting once he gets to the safety of his apartment.

“Wait, you guys aren’t actually serious are you?” Baekhyun stops when they get at the bus station and he doesn’t like the look on their three faces, he really doesn’t.

He should have just kept his mouth shut, Baekhyun thinks an wants the ground to swallow him because of all people they had to put Chanyeol right next to the window and if Chanyeol wants someone attention, he will get it no matter what. They’re nearing it too and the closer they get the lower Baekhyun sinks in his chair.

“Don’t do it, I beg of you, I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” That takes Jongdae off his surveillance position to look at Baekhyun with a mischievous smile and he shrinks even more in his seat, “Well, not—yeah anything.” He nods quickly when he sees Chanyeol holding a book against the window, “Anything!” He repeats and reaches to stop Chanyeol, they’re there, so close he’s probably going to pass by soon.

Baekhyun peeks over Chanyeol to make sure to at least catch sight of him before he rides by.

“Alright, then get down at the next bus station and run after his bike.”

Like hell he’s going to do that, “Or Chanyeol will bang on the window hard enough to either make the bus driver arrest us or your little high school boy see you make a fool out of yourself.”

“You guys are the worst, worst ever.” Baekhyun sighs and hides his face in his hands, he’d rather just get swallowed by the ground than actually do what they’re asking him to do. But he’s got no time to argue against it that he can feel Yixing laughing and already pulling him up after ringing for the next stop and no, no, Baekhyun prays for the bicycle to be gone by the time he’s out of the bus this way he gets rid of this stupid thing and also of his stupid best friends.

“We’re coming with you, to make sure you do it of course.” Jongdae says as Baekhyun walks down the bus stairs and then he knows he’s pretty much doomed because that’s the exact time that stupid bike decide to appear and Baekhyun looks for an exit and tries to go back to the bus quickly but too late.

It’s gone and Baekhyun’s pride is gone with it too he thinks and turns away from the bike, “Nope, I’m going to walk to the nxt bus station.” Baekhyun makes for a run but Chanyeol catches his hand before he’s even made two steps away and starts dragging him while running after the fucking bike.

“Park Chanyeol, stop, I swear I’m going to kill you all!” Baekhyun shouts but knows it’s no help, not with all of them laughing and this would be a fun outing with them if it wasn’t for the fact that they are bringing people’s attention to them and Chanyeol keeps screaming “Hey,” Behind the bike and he’s gonna look, he’s gonna look.

Chanyeol legs are so much longer than Baekhyun and when they start going faster and faster, so fast that even Jongdae and Yixing can’t keep up.

Baekhyun looks down at his legs to not trip over them and when he looks up to see why Chanyeol has slowed down a bit, he notices he’s running next to the bike, he’s actually fucking running next to the bike.

When he realizes so Baekhyun looks up at his side quickly and catches sight of the boy looking alarmed fuck he’s scared too and he loses it, he loses balance, control of his feet and lets go of Chanyeol’s hand reaching into nothing really and this feels like an awful comedy movie where he’s the one being made fun of.

It’s hard to breathe when he falls to his knees and he’s sure he’s got a scratch or two, his legs are dead weight under him and his bangs are sticking to his forehead from too much sweating, his heart is thumping so loudly against his ears and chest and he’s not even sure if it’s because of the race or the fact that he got so close the bike.

He was right next to it and the more he thinks about it the more he tries to control his breathing that seems to start mixing itself with a laughter that Baekhyun lets out in between pants.

“You okay there?”

Baekhyun nods and sees knees crouching down in front of him, “Yeah,” He nods again and his panting starts getting slower, his breathing more stable and he feels the cold sweat that follows afterwards during winter. He chuckles a bit because he should be mad but he’s got this light feeling in his chest, “But that was fucking crazy!” He shouts and straightens his head, thinking of seeing Chanyeol or Yixing or Jongdae, he might have like that better than the tilt of a head that is observing him with a little amused smirk and a quirked eyebrow.

“Who are you?” Baekhyun says with a frown and tries to stand up at the same time but stumbles again and is steadied with a hand that wraps itself tight around his arm, “The guy you were chasing?” He’s asking it in this little sarcastic tone that Baekhyun swears Jongdae has learned to master with time and then, then Baekhyun feels himself reddening from his neck up to his face and goddamn.

Baekhyun quickly pulls his arm free and steps back.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles and then turns to make a run for it, fucking hell this is the worst day of his life he thinks and lets his legs take him further and faster too. Baekhyun closes his eyes, he’s cold, and he’s run way too much, he doesn’t want to talk to any of his friends ever again.

He doesn’t even stop when he hears wait, what for? He thinks and sighs in relief at the sight of his bus coming and dashes head first to catch it.

Once he’s inside in his seat he looks out of the window and sees the boy running by, waving a hand in the air but Baekhyun looks away and slides until he can’t see anything.

This day never happened.

Except it did happen and it didn’t end there.

“I’m not talking to you,” Baekhyun walks by and ignores Jongdae apologetic face, “Or you,” He ignores Yixing’s too “Especially not you.” He sighs and passes them all to get to his usually walk to the bus stop.

“It was fun, admit it.” Jongdae tries with this little voice he uses when he knows he’s done something wrong but he just won’t say sorry for it so he tries to make it look like it wasn’t that bad, “Oh, no, not at all, I lost my purse and my phone, but no big deal that I fucking am not even able to prove who I am right now.” He’s not pouting, except yes, he is and he fucking hates this.

“Where did you guys even disappear to after all of that?!” Baekhyun stops suddenly and turns to stop them all with a frown and a glare, “I just want to go home and sleep, it’s cold and I’ve got homework.” He sighs, “I’ll just go sulk until they find my purse and phone.”

“Do you know I’ve got exams to attend with my id and stuff?” He goes on though because he knows they’re following him, they won’t stop until they’re sure he’s forgiven at least a bit, “Do you know exams are coming soon and I’ve never complained so much in my whole life?” Baekhyun closes his eyes and shakes his head when he starts hearing Jongdae’s voice.

“No, really Baekhyun stop.” Jongdae repeats and Baekhyun stops to look at him, “What now?” He doesn’t mean for it to sound so loud but it does, he’s exhausted, he’s never been so tired, and all of this because of goddamn studies, he waits but Jongdae doesn’t say a word and just grabs his shoulders and turns him to face the other side.

“Stop whining and look who’s there.”

Baekhyun has to squint to see what all the fuss is about, because apparently everyone is gathering around the same spot and well there’s someone standing in the middle but so what? “Who?” He asks again, frowning, “I really don’t have time for this, you guys!” He tries to shrug his shoulders out of Jongdae’s grasp.

“I think it’s your high school boy.” Yixing walks next to them and Chanyeol confirms with a “Yeah, it is, looks like he’s also popular.” because he’s so tall he can see what the others can’t, “First of guys he’s not my high school boy, ugh, what does that have to do with me, I’d rather not meet his path ever again.”

“Bullshit, we didn’t run during winter and nearly got you killed for nothing.” Chanyeol says and stops him from going anywhere, before he knows it all three are pushing him towards the crowd and no, “Stop this, honestly stop!” that comes out a bit too loud and then Baekhyun stops and looks around because it’s suddenly too silent.

“Shit.” He says as soon as he sees the crowd has moved and said high school boy has now spotted him, then he waves a hand and shouts “Hey,” in their direction and Baekhyun’s eyes widen before he shakes his head “I’m out of here.” Baekhyun turns and this time he escapes the three of them and starts walking as fast as he can.

“Can you stop? I’ve got things you might want back!”

Baekhyun hesitates, nibbling on his bottom lip and tucks his hands in his coat’s pockets then huffs and hides his face in the scarf around his neck before turning around and he waits, not daring to actually look up.

He keeps his eyes down on the snow covered path until his sight catches a hand and his purse and is that his phone and he quickly reaches for them but the hand pulls back. “Yah,” Baekhyun looks up immediately and regrets it but too late.

“Now you’re interested?” Baekhyun hears him say and tries as hard as he can to not just right out flush in embarrassment, so he takes a deep breath in and opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted again, “I put my number in here.” Baekhyun’s eyes widen slightly before drawing close in a frown, and he asks with a muffled voice “What for?”

“I thought you might need it next time, instead of running after my bike.” The boy grins and this is so not okay, Baekhyun is older than this guy right there, “Thank you but that wasn’t needed at all.” He says and reaches out a hand, “Give them back.”

Baekhyun sees him shrug and then puts the phone and purse in his hand, but he doesn’t let it go then, he just takes a step forward and Baekhyun steps back immediately, “What are yo—”

“Jongin.” He says with an amused smile this time, it’s softer too and makes him look even younger.

But now Baekhyun is really lost so all he can blurt is a quick “What?” and then he catches on, it’s not at all because he looks behind and sees Chanyeol shaking his head while Yixing is just hiding his face in his palm as if ashamed and Jongdae is just giving him a mocking smirk, “My name is Jongin.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says and nods, “I got it—Jongin.” And then he waits for Jongin to let go of his hand and his things too but nothing happens, Baekhyun looks up and sees an expectant eyebrow arched up on his face and he frowns, “Now what?”

Jongin laughs then and it makes Baekhyun squirm on spot because he doesn’t know what he’s being laughed at for, then Jongin stops and shrugs, “What’s your name?” He says and tilts his head, back to a serious face and Baekhyun literally wants to hit his head.

“Oh,” Baekhyun says softly then quickly picks up after that weak reply, “Baekhyun.” He mumbles reluctantly, “But it’s Baekhyun hyung for you.” He adds quickly and then tugs on his hand, “Or just hyung.”

“Alright, Baekhyun hyung.” Jongin nods and finally let go of Baekhyun’s hands with his purse and phone too. “Thanks.” Baekhyun mumbles clutching at his belongings, his hand still warm but there’s no way he’s pulling his face out of the scarf because he can also feel it warming, he’s pretty sure Jongin flashing him a bright smile then waving before running to where Baekhyun tilted his head to see him get on his bike.

“Stupid bike.” Baekhyun pouts and then finally breathes out of the scarf, pushing it down with his free hand and tucking his purse and phone in the other pocket.

“So?” He snatches his eyes from Jongin riding away and looks in front of him to find Jongdae smirking and reaching a hand to pat his shoulder, “We did a good job didn’t we?”

“No.” Baekhyun says and frowns, he’s not even close to how mad he was before. It’s just gone and he hates it, but then before he can add more he feels his phone vibrate against his hand and pulls it out to read a name on the screen that has him gaping at his phone with wide eyes.

‘Your high school boy’

“My—what,” Baekhyun opens his phone and reads the message quickly, Say thanks to your tall friend for telling me a lot of things about you, you have to call alright?

Baekhyun looks up eyes on Chanyeol, “What did you tell him?” He asks and steps forward only to see Chanyeol step backward, “Chanyeol.” Baekhyun’s voice sounds threatening and it looks like Jongdae and Yixing are kind of lost though from Baekhyun’s expression they can tell Chanyeol won’t get out of this one alive.

“I—I’ll see you later!” Chanyeol exclaims and makes a run for it but with Baekhyun running after him, “I’ll kill you when I catch you, you better run till you’re tired you fucking—” the rest of it dies with Jongdae and Yixing laughing behind.

It helps that the week after that is filled with exams and studying and even if Baekhyun is still a bit mad at all of them, they study together and it kinds of return back to normal. It’s like he’s never been through all the embarrassing events that happened the week before.

He also doesn’t take the last bus anymore, so he hasn’t seen Jongin riding for the whole week. It’s not that he’s avoiding him, he just has to get to the university really early because he has group studies and he’s got no time to think about how his phone probably vibrated more than two times during the week.

“I wanna die.” Yixing sighs and bumps his head on the table; they all want to die actually. Baekhyun is pretty sure he has the ugliest bags he’s ever had, this semester is kind of harder than the last one, which is making them all look pretty pathetic right now.

Chanyeol is also less cheery though not that much less, he just loses it when he doesn’t have his usual cup of coffee and stays calm until he’s done studying then he collapses in his room for two days and doesn’t come out until he’s fully hibernated. Jongdae comes to class but ends up sleeping through most of his morning ones, Yixing just doesn’t even bother, he goes out and says fuck it all until he’s less angry for being kept up for so long because of exams.

Baekhyun joins either Yixing, or Jongdae or Chanyeol, depending on what he feels like doing. But most of the times though he ends up with Chanyeol and Jongdae whines when he does so because he has to take notes for all of them.

“You can die once you’re done calculating this one, I’m stuck, help me.” Jongdae pokes Yixing’s side with the back of his pencil and Yixing squirms, “Gross, you put that side of it in your mouth, don’t touch me with it.” Yixing whines but lifts his head off the table and leans in to look at Jongdae’s paper, “Where?”

Baekhyun glances up from his own work at the both of them and stops an annoyed sigh from coming out of his mouth, pursing his lips tightly and frowning when Chanyeol snorts and does the embarrassing job for him. It’s pretty obvious though, Baekhyun thinks while looking at Chanyeol and quirking an eyebrow quickly in a mocking way, since when does Jongdae needs help in any of their classes?

After Chanyeol he’s the best one in their physics class. It’s always amazed them all how Yixing can be so oblivious, like honestly, anyone can see Jongdae really likes him, and has been stuck on him since their last year of high school basically. It’s really kind of funny and sad too, how flustered Jongdae gets next to him and thinks no one sees it.

Right, Baekhyun thinks and sighs anyways tearing his eyes off Jongdae’s whole attention given to Yixing’s face and lips moving, pretty sure he’s not even listening to a word of what Yixing’s saying, maybe just listening to his voice.

“You’re staring.” Chanyeol says softly and coughs grinning down at his paper like he hasn’t said a word and Jongdae snaps out of it to look up with a light flush on his cheeks.

“Who?” Yixing stops talking and ask, Baekhyun can’t help but throw his eraser at Chanyeol for meddling, “Nothing, you guys go on.” He says and basks in how Jongdae gets more flustered, shakes his head then stands up and “I’ll be back.” runs away.

Yixing looks so confused for a moment but then shrugs it off and grabs Jongdae’s paper to start scribbling more explanations, there’s no way someone can be so oblivious is there? Oh, well, it’s none of his business, Baekhyun thinks and focuses back on his own problems still clear on his sheet and still unresolved, he’s going to be bald soon with all of those things he has to put in his head.

He’s been ignoring his phone for so long that when he hears it ring on the table he jolts up and quickly reaches for it, if the librarian hears this he’s going to fucking kill him, “Shit,” Baekhyun quickly taps his password and picks it up without thinking, just hurrying to get it to shut the fuck up because if not the librarian, then the others student are going to make his life shorter.

“Hello?” He sighs once he’s picked it up, “Baekhyun hyung, I didn’t take you for a liar.” Baekhyun wants to hit himself so hard he might actually collapse and wake up with no more school work, no more annoying little life that keeps fucking him up—he pulls his phone off his ears instead to look at the ID and he hates himself for picking up the call already.

“I’m not a liar.” Baekhyun says and tries to keep his voice low, which is quite easy because he’s exhausted and grump and he just wants to be done with this, “Look I’m busy right now, I can’t talk, so bye.” He quickly tries to hang up, “I just need ten minutes.” Jongin says then and the little teasing note that was in his voice seems to be gone, that’s the only reason why Baekhyun gives in, the only one.

“I’ll be back.” He tells Chanyeol and Yixing and hurries to the bathroom, “Fine, what is it?” He asks, hopping on the sink counter, “You never picked up my calls.” Baekhyun feels a pang of guilt hit him because goddamn, Jongin sounds really disappointed and it never occurred to him that this would affect him at all.

He’s quite young, and pretty and handsome and he’s got a really cute smile—ugh stop, “I’ve been busy with exams.” Baekhyun blurts his only excuse which is kind of lame, he could have still picked up his calls or texted him back to tell him that instead of being a total douche and just right out ignoring him, “Sorry.” He adds softly when he realizes it.

“I guess it can’t be helped if it’s your exams that’s making you ignore me.” Another trip to the guilt country, Baekhyun clenches his fingers on the phone and nibbles on his bottom lip, “I wasn’t ignoring you.” He mumbles and is sure his lie can be figured out even from other the phone, “Don’t lie.”

Baekhyun sighs and rubs his temple, “Look, I’m sorry, really, I just—have a lot going on right now and I didn’t mean to ignore you, I just don’t have the time right now, so I—” he stops himself and licks his bottom lip in before letting it go and finding his words back, “I promise to give you a call once I get the time to, alright?”

He hears Jongin laughs softly and Baekhyun bites down a little groan, it’s a sound he really loves and he’s heard it only once, he’s really crazy isn’t he? “Don’t make promises you won’t keep.”

“No,” Baekhyun protests quickly, “I will keep it.”

“Really?” Baekhyun likes this hopeful tone in his voice more than the dejected and disappointed one, he finds himself smiling and pressing his hand against the smile, but it doesn’t disappear, not totally, “Yeah.” He says because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“Then this time I’m really waiting for it, you can’t break this promise.” Jongin’s voice picks up to his usual amused one and Baekhyun’s smile turns into a soft laugh sighed through his nose as he nods, “Alright, now I need to go back to studying.” he feels reluctant though, to hang up and go back to hell.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t keep you away from that, sorry.” Baekhyun won’t lie, he feels a bit disappointed that Jongin gives in just like that, but all he can do about it is pout and get off the sink counter, “Bye then,”

“Ah wait,” Baekhyun stops himself from hanging up, “Hum?”

“Good luck on your exams, don’t die while studying please, I’ll need you alive when you do call.” Baekhyun laughs and quickly stops himself when he hears Jongin laugh too, “Okay, I got it, now I’m really hanging up.”

“Wait again.” Baekhyun stops and rolls his eyes because Jongin laughs then, like he can see that, “I’ll get you something if you pass your exams and call.”

What? “Why would you get me—”

“Bye.” Baekhyun stays still because he’s just been hung up on, Jongin just fucking hung up on him.

It’s not like he needs that kind of thing to pass his exams, he always pass them no matter how mad the studying made him go. Still, what is this guy thinking about? Get him something what for? This is a hassle, now he really has to call him, he hates having to make promises he knows he can’t break.

But he’s not going to lie he has to hide his face when he walks back to their table because he’s feeling this stupid grin etch itself on his face and he doesn’t need to look like another Jongdae.

“Who was it?” Yixing asks and Baekhyun just tries to shrug casually as he takes back his seat, “Who else, his—”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun gives him a look that obviously tells him to shut up and Chanyeol just sulk and gets back to his notes, he’s gotten a good week of glares and tricks because of what he told Jongin, he’d rather wait for the Baekhyun storm to pass before starting a new one.

“So?” Yixing asks again since Chanyeol is forbidden from saying anything.

Baekhyun nibbles on the end of his pencil and tries to focus on the problems, “No one important.” He answers Yixing.

But really, Yixing gets his answer when Jongdae comes back and leans over Baekhyun’s shoulder to read what he’s scribble, laughs, “Baekhyun’s obsessed.” And goes to sit next to Yixing, “his whole notebook corners is filled with ‘Jongin, Jongin.’”

Baekhyun throws his pencil at Jongdae and hides his face with his book that obviously Chanyeol has to clear his throat and tell him, “Your book is upside down, Baek.”

Goddamn life.

Baekhyun opts for the Chanyeol hibernating way once he’s done with his last exam and in the bus taking him home. He’s going to need more than two days of sleep to repair all the damage caused to his brains, but it will put his physical state back to work at least.

He presses his forehead against the window and peers outside with a frown, knowing he’s forgetting something but he really can’t put a finger on it, so instead of dwelling on it he closes his eyes and tries not to fall asleep, he wouldn’t want to miss his stop.

But it only takes him about two minutes before he’s dozing off.

He wakes up mainly because his conscious comes back to him in the form of a reminder that he’s still in the bus and it’s shaking, then that something is slapping his cheek and Baekhyun frowns and lifts a hand to get rid of it, it stings even if it doesn’t hurt that much.

“What?” He asks, “You’re going to miss your stop.” Baekhyun straightens after a few seconds of registering the information and shakes his head, when he feels a pain in his neck and tries to stretch to get rid of it.

“Oh, thank you.” He turns to whoever woke him up with a yawn that he quickly hides behind his hand flushing bright because Jongin is looking at him, and maybe he’s still dreaming, Baekhyun thinks with the urge to slap himself awake. But it’s probably not a good idea.

“What are you doing here?” He manages with a bit of stuttering; Jongin shrugs and rolls his right left shoulder, “Lending my shoulder as a pillow?” Baekhyun looks down at Jongin’s shoulder then back at his face with a confused frown, then remembers he fell asleep with his head on the window and woke up with it somewhere else.

“Did I—” He starts but doesn’t finish his question simply pointing to Jongin’s shoulder and Jongin nods laughing at how Baekhyun turns a brighter shade of red, he deserves to be made fun of Baekhyun thinks and remembers why he was awaken to begin with, “Oh, my stop!” He exclaims and starts pushing against Jongin’s shoulder.

“Careful,” Jongin laughs even louder and moves out of the way but follows behind him while Baekhyun rushes before the bus closes its door. Baekhyun sighs and stretches once he gets back in the cold, then tightens the coat around him and turns when he’s still hearing Jongin’s laughing behind him.

“Are you following me?” He asks, though he’s sure he should be worried about something else, but he’s still sleepy and tired and another yawn makes his way to his mouth and gets covered by both of his hands this time.

“You look tired, let’s go.” Jongin says without answering his question, but Baekhyun just nods and lets it slide, just for now, he’ll ask later maybe, his eyelids are heavy and he’s not sure he’d be up to keep a conversation going.

There’s nothing but the sound of their feet in the snow, Baekhyun’s steps mismatched with Jongin’s and a little slower too, he closes his eyes for a second and almost misses a step—he would have fallen if not for Jongin’s hand tight around his arm, “Sorry,” Baekhyun says and pulls his arm free then fails to take another step forward with his world starting to spin as soon as he does so.

“I think it’s a good thing I live nearby hyung, you really look out of it.” Jongin leans into his face with a worried frown and Baekhyun blinks and shakes his head, “I’m fine, just tired.” He starts and his body fails to keep justice to his words because his legs starts giving in, and he might have worked himself harder than before for this exam week.

“Sorry, I just need to sit for awhile, you can go ahead.”

“Yeah, sure, like I’ll let you die in the snow.” Jongin chuckles though he still looks a bit worried but he’s amused at how Baekhyun pouts lightly and seems offended but can’t come up with an answer to that. Jongin takes this opportunity to come right in front of Baekhyun and crouch down, “Get on my back.”

“No.” Baekhyun snaps a bit out of it and really tries to move but he can’t then he sighs and looks down at Jongin who has his head turned to look at him with a little smirk, “Stop being stubborn.” Jongin adds and Baekhyun hears this little whining voice in the back of his head, he already hates this idea before he even agrees to it and finds himself obediently getting on Jongin’s back with his arms and legs tightening their hold when Jongin stands up.

Jongin’s arms slides under his knees and Baekhyun is not going to deny that it makes it easier to just let his legs fall rather than lock his ankles in the front and well, this isn’t so bad, he yawns and presses his forehead to Jongin’s back, then his cheek.

“Comfortable enough?” Jongin asks and Baekhyun hums softly, having no more strength to deny anything anymore, “Thank you.” He adds right before he feels himself falling asleep again; he really can’t stay awake anymore, not with this warmth that’s spreading from Jongin’s back to the softness of his coat.

Baekhyun’s arms tighten just a little bit around Jongin and he sighs with a small smile that barely stretches the corner of his mouth.

Hibernating turns out as an obligation to survive for Baekhyun, when he wakes up and really is conscious of where he is, he looks at the clock and it’s way too early to be up, then he reaches for his phone because he’s sure he’s been out for hours, maybe an entire day.

But he reads the date and quickly sits in his bed because he’s been out of it for three whole days. There’s something damp on his lap and he looks down to see a wet towel, Baekhyun touches a hand to his forehead and feels it also moist. He grabs the towel then and starts getting out of bed.

His mom probably did this, either her or Jongdae or Chanyeol or Yixing, he doesn’t even remember how he got back in his bed or how he got back to his home. He remembers the bus ride, he also remembers waking up and seeing Jongin, but that was probably a dream.

Baekhyun takes the stairs down to the living room, following his mother’s voice that he recognizes through the light pounding of a headache that’s ready to grow stronger, “Mom?” He calls out while making his way to her and catches another voice, she’s talking to someone else.

“Mom,” He calls again when he spots her at the door, holding it open, “Who’s there?” He says that softly just in case it’s one of those neighbors who can’t help but talk and ask about his whole life whenever they come for a visit, he really doesn’t feel in the mood for that.

“Oh, he’s awake!” his mom beams at him and then opens the door widely, “Come in.” Baekhyun shakes his head and his hands, “No, no.” He mumbles to her and sighs dejectedly when she totally ignores him and lets the person inside, he should just walk back to his room and pretend sickness.

“Hey,” Baekhyun stops though and stares bewildered at a smiling Jongin waving at him, “Oh—hey?” He then looks at his mom with a frown and back at himself, wearing his pajamas still and back at Jongin, “I’ll go change.” Baekhyun says and quickly makes his way upstairs before anyone can stop him.

He’s wearing a really mortified expression when he hears his mom laugh at him.

Baekhyun comes back downstairs, tucked in a comfortable pair of joggings and a t-shirt, hair damp because he decided a shower was most definitely needed, feeling refreshed and better than when he woke up earlier.

Then stops when he hears his mom and Jongin’s voice coming from the living room before shaking his head at how silly this is right now, him getting all flustered and not wanting to actually show himself because of a high school boy.

Baekhyun blames this on the dream he had before he woke up though, he definitely dreamed of Jongin taking him home on his back and putting him to bed, it’s blurry but it’s embarrassing. How is he supposed to face him knowing he’s been so obsessed like Jongdae would say that he’s even now dreaming of the guy sitting in his living room right now?

“So Jongin-ah, do you like my son?” Baekhyun has to bring both of his hands to cover his mouth when his mom just right out blur that question, why is she asking such a thing to a guy? Wait, he shouldn’t even be surprised, this is how he found out Chanyeol saw hi mas just a friend and nothing more.

Not that he ever admitted having a crush on Chanyeol to begin with, or even telling her he had a thing for men, she just figured it out on her own, she figures everything on her own and then she kind of drags his father into accepting it if it’s something she’s sure he’s going to be too difficult about.

Right now though, Baekhyun isn’t the only one choking, he could hear Jongin coughing like he just swallowed something the wrong way, probably one of her tea or water, Baekhyun can’t help the little silent chuckle he lets out behind his hands.

“I can’t really tell right now, but I think he’s the one who likes me.” He shouldn’t be listening to this Baekhyun thinks with a frown, so Jongin thinks he likes him? That’s so not true, crushing and liking are on different levels, and liking and loving too and loving and being in love, he would come out of his hiding and stop the conversation before it goes further, but really that would put him in a really embarrassing position now.

“Oh, that I’m sure he does.” Baekhyun clenches his eyes shut and moves his hands to cover his ears, I’m twenty-one years old I don’t need to listen to my mom embarrass me in front of someone younger, ugh, he thinks to himself and starts walking upstairs, not listening. He’ll wait for Jongin to actually leave the house before making sure to go out to see Jongdae, the world can kill him a coward right now but he could really careless.

He wouldn’t be able to have a proper conversation with Jongin without stuttering and thinking back about the dream and flushing right on the spot, he is also feeling it against his palms sliding to touch his cheeks warming up at the turn his thoughts took.

He’s really going insane; he should have slept some more.

“I don’t remember raising such a son, you made the poor boy wait until he had to leave for school, that wasn’t nice.” Baekhyun hears his mom go on and on while packing a lunch box for him to hand over to Jongdae and the others, there isn’t even one for him he feels like telling her but thinks better of it and just sulks as he gathers the whole package in his arms.

“He’s a lovely boy, is he the one on the bike you wouldn’t stop drawing instead of studying?”

“Mom,” Baekhyun whines and turns to rush out of the door, “I’ll be back for dinner.” He says and sighs once he’s outside, just because she got hold of his sketchbook only once and it was that one time it’d taken over his mind and he’d just told his studies fuck it and started doodling the same thing all over his pages, it was just the bike and the back of a person, sometimes just the profile.

It’s been harder to touch his sketchbook lately because Baekhyun just knows what he’s going to find himself drawing and he doesn’t want to start on that yet, it’s going to be such a hassle to get rid of his pencil once he starts.

But he’s been in the mood to make more drawings lately, right after his last exam he started doodling in the corner of his exam paper before erasing it and finishing his questions really quickly, this is not just insanity, he doesn’t even have a name for it anymore.

Baekhyun sighs again, wondering how many years of his life he’s been giving away with so many sighing in just a week, “Do you need help with those?” He startles then and feels his heart leap once—twice, and he turns to look at where the voice came from before stepping aside and further from the shoulder leaning too closer to him.

“I thought you were gone.” Baekhyun can’t help but blurt out when he sees Jongin’s face brighten with a grin then Jongin shrugs and reaches for the wrapped lunch boxes, “I can play this game too.”

“What game?” Baekhyun asks while hesitating to let Jongin take hold of his package then just gives in when it seems like a lost battle. “Hide and seek?” Jongin says and it sounds like a question, though he says it with this little chuckle that always seems so lighthearted and free and Baekhyun wonders if he was like that too when he was younger?

Did he look so free like the world could go as he wanted it to? Like he could just reach out for someone’s bag and they’d let him hold it because he had a gentle aura around him at times, or they’d just shuffle away in fear because he could also have a threatening aura? It’s just weird, he doesn’t remember how it was to be so young.

Now he just sounds like he’s in his thirties or worse.

“I waited for your call.” Jongin breaks the silence when they stop at the bus stop and Baekhyun bites down on his bottom lip, eyes widening and now he remembers what his mind has been trying to tell him back in the bus nights ago and just, “Sorry! I’m sorry, I was so tired I just forgot this time.”

“I know,” Jongin laughs and shakes his head then, “I’m just forgiving you because I got to see your sleeping face though.” He adds and Baekhyun turns to him with eyes even wider, a bit confused and surprised, “You watched me sleep?” sounds like a normal question to ask then, but he realizes it also sounds stupid, how would Jongin watch him sleep? That’s dumb, he tells himself and waits for Jongin to laugh at him for even asking.

“For one or two hours? Or maybe three, your mom let me, she’s really nice, unlike you actually.” He ends up with a little pout but looks back at Baekhyun with a smile, “But she’s really straight to the point like you.”

“I’m not straightforward.” Baekhyun mumbles and takes his eyes off Jongin’s gentle laugh and turns pretending to check for the bus, “You are, in your own way, your face says it all.” Baekhyun looks down at the snow at their feet and sighs without parting his mouth, his face huh?

“Like an open book?” He asks with a little smile tugging his lips and Jongin laughs next to him, it’s nice, it’s soft and brushes past Baekhyun’s ears, he can’t help but steal a side glance and quickly looks away because Jongin caught it, “Maybe.”

“That’d be cheesy.” Baekhyun adds then, “Too cheesy.”

“Cheese is good though.” Jongin’s voice holds a little pout in it and Baekhyun’s laugh is gentle against the snow that starts falling more and more, “Once in awhile, maybe.” He agrees just for the fun of it, looks up at the snow and closes his eyes, this time when Baekhyun sighs it’s just because he kind of feels content.

“So, hyung,” Jongin calls to him and Baekhyun hums softly in response, “Can I have a date tomorrow, or is that too cheesy too?”

Baekhyun doesn’t open his eyes, wonders if the snow can melt against the burning rush of blood on his cheeks and shakes his head, “After my schedule, if I’m free, sure.” He tries hard not to stutter the words and swallows a snowflake that has him coughing and looking down.

“I’ll just wait in front of your university then,” Jongin laughs, slides the wrapped boxes on one arm and pats him gently on the back with the hand he’s made free, “Stay alive until then.”

“Ah,” Baekhyun remembers something and tries to stop coughing to sort it out, “You said you had a surprise for me.”

“Hum?” Jongin’s eyebrow arches up slowly before he lets out a snort and scoffs looking away, gathering the boxes back on both of his arms, “You didn’t call.”

Baekhyun wants to argue against that, that it wasn’t his fault, that of course he deserves to know what it would have been if he called but then the bus chooses that moment to stop by and all he does is swallow his words and follow Jongin inside. It’s only when they’re both sitting that Baekhyun snaps out of it, “Are you coming with me?!” He shouts and Jongin just nods, “Yes, I’m keeping an eye on you.”

When they get at Jongdae’s door and it opens Baekhyun tries to just ignore Jongdae looking at him with a confused expression with his yes going from Baekhyun to Jongin standing next to him and shrugs, “He says he’s keeping an eye on me?” He gives as an explanation and walks past him inside of the apartment.

“Does that mean it’s official?” Jongdae asks right after and Baekhyun thinks about how big of a mistake this is, but it’s too late, Jongin is laughing and going on with Jongdae’s work, “Not yet.” Is what he says, what does he even mean by not yet?

“Who did you bring?” Yixing asks and then they all gather in the hallway to see who is coming in holding their lunches, “I’m starving and you took your sweet time because of your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Baekhyun shoves Chanyeol away and further on the couch, “I’m going to eat your food just for being such an annoying little fucker.” He adds, though Chanyeol just laughs it off and uses his height advantage to tackle Baekhyun down on the couch and run to where Jongdae and Jongin are opening the lunch boxes.

“Don’t give one to him!” Baekhyun shouts as he tries to get up only to be pushed back down by Yixing who joins in, because of course, if one joins then everyone else has to.

“Jongin, Jongin-ah, help me, please?” Baekhyun calls through hiccups because Yixing’s fingers have started a tickling battle against his sides and he hates this game, he never wins when tickles, “You are not helping him.” Chanyeol says and slides an arm around Jongin’s shoulders, “Welcome to the club, kiddo.”

“Our most enjoyable thing in the world is torturing Byun Baekhyun.” Jongdae adds, chopsticks in hands and puts a piece of beef in his mouth.

“You can’t break this rule or we’ll kick you out.” Yixing yells from his spot on the couch, straddling Baekhyun who is still trying to come out from his eruption of non-interrupted laughter.

“I guess,” Jongin starts and shrugs with a grin, “Rules are rules.” He says and gets a pat on the back, “We love you already,” Chanyeol proudly hands him a pair of chopsticks.

Baekhyun whines and pushes Yixing off him then peeks above the couch, “I hate you all.” He says with a glare and he means it really, usually he can keep it for awhile before Yixing starts cooing Baekhyunnie and giving him fake kisses that are actually a cover for soft blow against his sensitive spots to make him squirm and swear.

But it flatters really quickly when he catches Jongin staring at him and finds himself unable to look away for what is just a second, but feels like an eternity and Baekhyun would throw up at how he just hears Jongdae awing and Chanyeol laughing at him, but he’s still in too much of a daze to do shit about it so he just looks down and lies back on the couch with an arm covering his face.

It’s tight, it’s so tight right there in his chest, but “It’s not so bad huh?” Yixing whispers softly against his ear, low enough for just the both of them to hear and Baekhyun smiles, pulling on his bottom lip with his teeth, yeah, it’s not so bad.

When are you going to be done? Baekhyun reads the message and quickly types back his answer while making sure to keep his eyes up from time to time so the teacher doesn’t notice, Last class, ending it in thirty minutes.

I’m tired of waiting, can I get a kiss for my patience? Baekhyun chokes out the word kiss and looks around quickly to make sure no on has heard him. He’s thankful this is happening during the only class he doesn’t have with the other three though, because he’d be dead right now if not.

No, just a date.

I wasn’t asking for permission you know.

What is that even supposed to mean? Baekhyun frowns at the text, you better not try anything or I will bite off your tongue.

How mean hyung, you should be nice to your boyfriend.

We’re not dating, just going on one date.

Same thing.

No, it’s not the same thing Baekhyun starts typing, “I’ll take that if you don’t mind, Mr, Byun.”

Shit, Baekhyun thinks and whines inwardly before putting his phone in the teacher’s stretched hand.

What surprises Baekhyun is that only Chanyeol is out with him this time, “Where are Yixing and Jongdae?” He asks because of just how weird it is and Chanyeol gets this weird expression on his face before sighing and shrugging, “Jongdae kind of—confessed?”

“Jongdae did?” Baekhyun doesn’t even mean to sound so loud, but he does and he knows it from how Chanyeol quickly covers his mouth and looks around, “Yes, but don’t worry about it, you should just go and enjoy your date.”

But, Baekhyun frowns, now he wants to know it all, how Yixing reacted, how did it go, just what happened while he wasn’t there?

“I’ll call you later and tell you everything yes.” Chanyeol chuckles and pats him on the shoulder, “Now please, stop making this boy wait, you’d be surprised actually, he told me some interesting things.”

“Who? Jongin? What did he say?”

“Ask him yourself.”

It seems everyone just wants to give him mysterious words he’s got to play riddles to figure out or has to embarrass himself asking to figure out, he hates it. He has enough of problems to resolve in his books he doesn’t need ones in his head and heart following him everywhere too.

“I hate you Jongin.” Baekhyun mumbles, puffing a cheek and refusing to smile back at jongin broad smile that stretches from one corner of his mouth to the other, wide and beaming right at him, just for him? That silly last thought has him walking towards Jongin faster and faster and not hesitating when he sees his outstretched hand to reach his own hand and slide it in his own.

He only realizes his gesture when Jongin squeezes his hand and tugs on it to pull him closer, leaning in as Baekhyun’s mind slowly makes its way back out of the gutter but his heart is still doing little somersaults inside his chest.

Baekhyun flinches and closes his eyes, feels stupid the moment he does it, but his breathing gets better and comes out and it’s still better than looking at Jongin’s face getting closer. Jongin’s breath tickles his cheek quickly before Baekhyun is sure he feels his mouth press a kiss there and he’s almost sad at how it withdraws itself.

Jongin’s lips aren’t warmth, but the heat on his face is enough to make it feel almost too warm for his already burning skin.

“There, that’s a kiss.” Jongin chuckles when he pulls back and Baekhyun peeks open one eye, “Yeah.” Baekhyun lets out in a breath with a sudden surge of courage that rises out of nowhere when he sees Jongin’s face still so close and his cheek still burning that makes him lean in and kiss Jongin’s smile.

“That’s a better kiss.” Baekhyun whispers, lips lingering on Jongin’s. He doesn’t get an answer in words, but in Jongin leaning back down with his free hand cradling Baekhyun’s cheek in the palm of his hand and his mouth pressed open against Baekhyun’s while breathing in Baekhyun’s deep intake of air.

It takes a minute of just light kissing, that starts lasting for longer and takes less time to breathe and more time to suck in each other’s breath for Baekhyun to let out a soft whimper and “Alright,” he stops him when Jongin’s about to go on and on to catch a breath and keeps his eyes cast down on Jongin’s mouth, less dry and more full “We should go.”

“One more.” Jongin protests softly leaning down again and it takes all of Baekhyun’s strength to shake his head and look away so Jongin’s mouth ends up touching his cheek, “Not fair.” He whines softly but presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek anyways and giving in with a sigh.

“Fine, let’s go then.” Jongin’s hand stays in his own though, squeezing one more time before sliding his fingers in the spaces of Baekhyun’s fingers and walking them to his bike, “I get to ride on your bike, how nice.” Baekhyun snorts, though he’s really, really looking forward to this.

He’s never going to admit it or tell it to anyone, but he has wondered how it would feel to sit on the only backseat of this bike with his back pressed against Jongin’s back, or his arms around him and his chin or cheek pressed against his back.

He frowns when the dream comes back to him, he’s doubting more and more about that time being a dream, but if it was or not, he’d rather just not know for now.

“It’s my little baby, don’t offend her, she bites.”

“Is that supposed to make me laugh?” Baekhyun asks with a frown and gets on it with his back against Jongin’s, “Can I stay like this?” He asks and tilts his head, resting it against Jongin’s shoulder, “Sure.” Jongin shrugs, “Just don’t fall.”

Baekhyun laughs and clutches the seat; “You’ll be responsible for it if I do fall.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything and just starts riding it off the road and down the streets, Baekhyun closes his eyes and leans back against him without putting too much of his weight on him.

“Where are you taking me?”

“That’s a surprise.”

Baekhyun shrugs and opens his eyes to a snowflake poking his closed eyelids; he’s ready for surprises.

“You know, I had a bike too back in high school.” He remembers it now, why it caught his attention the first time. It’s the same model, the same size and Jongin’s uniform was just the same uniform on a student that reminded him of how he looked like before.

I know, Jongin thinks and keeps it to himself, just listening to Baekhyun go on and on about his high school life now.

Jongin thinks he’s never had wishes, or something he really needed. Though he’s been given anything he wanted in his life. He’s been spoiled from birth to his fifteen years old and there’s nothing in this world he wouldn’t ask and not get

But he’s been going to this new school for a month now and there’s one thing he’s found out he will probably never have. So he watches someone older than him get on this bike and looks at the backseat wondering if it’d be too weird of him to go up to him and ask him if he can sit there because he’s been dying too since the first time he saw it?

Probably, but then he gets pull out of his thoughts by one of the new friends he made faster than any other new kids could have done. But that’s just it, that’s normal, though he’s not focused on that, it used to amuse him before. But it’s just boring now, he wants more than that.

He wants to know how it’d feel to sit with his back pressed against someone else’s and look up at the sky. Maybe he should get a bike too? Though then he’d be the one riding, but it’d be better than having nothing, wouldn’t it?

He’s been wishing on stars, he’d wishing on random coinciding hours and minutes, he’s been wishing on the sky to let him see it from the backseat of that bike. He wishes and wishes and figures some things just never come true.

It’s only during the graduation ceremony when he sees him in the students that have to leave that Jongin realizes this might have been a crush he’s been harboring during the entire year and he might have fallen in love in the process of wanting to sit on that bike.

Fallen for the person who rides it, with his uniform open when he’s out of school, laughing with three other boys who Jongin always see with him. Friends who laugh and make each others fall off the bike and thinks nothing of it, just stay amused and laugh at the bruises and the indignant cries.

So after the graduation ceremony Jongin goes home and he asks for a bike, except, he tells his parents he wants to work for it. It seems weird at first, to let him work for his own money, but they let him be, they always let him be, so long as he’s happy being their only excuse.

This time though, Jongin is happy with himself to realize that he’s indeed happy when he gets the final paycheck and enough money to get the bike. He’s so happy he doesn’t watch out for the road down home until he hears a shriek and wheels screeching and he’s not sure why he doesn’t move at all when he sees a bike trying to not crash into him.

He just stands still frozen with his eyes on the rider more than on the bike until it stops right before hurting him. But Jongin doesn’t take his eyes off the boy until he’s off his bike and coming to him with apologies, checking to see if he’s hurt anywhere and “I’m sorry, do you live nearby? I’m so sorry.”

“Can I have a ride?” Jongin asks, interrupting his constant rambles and he holds his breath in, “Eh?” Jongin really thanks himself for being able to keep a straight face, he doesn’t even know how he pulls it off but he just does and it helps, “A ride? On my bike?” He asks like he’s not sure Jongin asked.

“Yeah, my home is close.”

There’s a moment of silence in which Jongin thinks this is so stupid, why did I ask? Then there’s another moment after he hears, “Sure.” Where he thinks why did I never ask before?

Jongin clutches the seat and hops on it without even waiting for another minute, he hears a laugh and hides the flush on his cheeks, he leans his back without putting all his weight on him and rests his head against his shoulder, “This is pretty.”

“Isn’t it? I love riding a bike because of the view and it feels great with the wind during summer.” Jongin likes how he laughs and it resonates from his throat all the way to his back and against his own.

Jongin mumbles words he’s been keeping away and shakes his head when he hears, “Did you say something?”

“Nothing,” He quickly adds, “Just that it feels good.” Even better than what he imagined.

But his previous words still floats in the wind, he wants to catch them and put them back where they belong, “Hey hyung,” Jongin waits for Baekhyun soft humming and sighs with the feeling of a heavy weight being lifted off his shoulders, “I really like you.”

“Why all of a sudden?” Baekhyun’s voice is lower, Jongin can swear he’s also bright red right now, he wants to see that, but the way Baekhyun presses closer to his back is enough of an answer, enough of a picture, “Just, I do.”

“Hum,” Baekhyun says after awhile, “I like you too.” He then adds and without really knowing why, Jongin starts laughing and he’s really delighted when Baekhyun joins in, though he slips in you’re a silly one, through his laughter.

But this finally feels like a complete ride.

don't wanna dream you

doobb — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:33:04 GMT

Title: don't wanna dream you
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: angst
warnings: character death, implied suicide.
Rating: pg
Summary: jongin would rather dream forever than live with memories.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: i'm sorry, i should be sleeping why did i write this.

don't wanna dream you

Jongin feels the flutter of the day reaching towards him, trying to stir him awake, but it’s only when he feels a stronger one, brushing against his legs, trailing up that his eyelashes start to flutter in a sign of awareness, but it’s still early, the sun is hurting his eyes and he lifts his arm to cover his eyes.

The feeling of something crawling up his legs vanishes and he quickly frowns, uneasy until it lands on him, heavy and straddling his hips causing the bed to bounce against his back and make him jump a little. His arm falls off his eyes and he decides it’s might be safe to open them now.

“Wake up,” he hears right after he does so, sight blurry but he can make out droplets of water falling against his cheek when the face leans in closer and he can smell toothbrush paste when he feels a breath against his mouth, soft and then firm and real, closed around his bottom lip.

He wakes up then, opens his eyes quickly and everything is blank, dark, there are no lights in his room, no weight on his body, but he can still feel it, the drop of water that fell on his cheek. But there’s nothing when he brings his finger to make sure it’s glued to his flesh.

He blinks and wonders if he should even try to get up. He should stop having these dreams, he thinks as he lifts himself off his bed, sits and rakes a hand through his hair, feeling exhausted, shoulders slumped, he turns to look at the closed curtains of his windows, with the sunlight still fighting to slide in.

But there are no lights in Jongin’s eyes, why would he need the sun to remind him of that? On an impulse though, he stands up and stretches, taking slow steps to the window, he reaches for the curtains when he stops and nervously chews on his bottom lip before pursing his mouth and pulling them open, first hesitantly then in one quick movement so he wouldn’t give up he pulls them open.

The sun does blind him and he has to blink and squint to avoid how bright it suddenly appears to be. He looks down and sees that everyone is already awake, it’s probably past morning.

The sun burns like an afternoon time.

Jongin closes his eyes and likes how warm it suddenly becomes with his eyelids closed, with how he can almost feel it, almost then he clenches his hands on the curtains and it’s there, tight around his waist, holding firmly, arms so real he wants to let go of the curtains and touch them.

But they might disappear if he does so, so he holds the curtains tighter, feels it wrinkle in his hold, he hears the soft crinkles of the plastic. Jongin sighs with the breath that tickles his neck then he opens his eyes and there’s just the sun and him and his curtains giving in the strength of his clenched fists, falling on the ground with the sound of the handlers hitting the floor making him inhale and breathe in the lingering memory.

Jongin takes a shower, brushes his teeth with memories running around him, with touches he can feel but knows aren’t real. At least now he’s dreaming wide awake, so instead of hurting when he wakes up, he just feels this longing that churns his inside and makes him nearly swallow the burning paste in his mouth.

He escapes the bathroom, filled with laughter and splash of water, he’s already strained from this routine and this is just the beginning he thinks to himself a small smile appearing on his face. He closes the door of the bathroom and kills the sound of his name being called behind.

He wishes it would stay there, locked, all those ghosts, but they follow him. He can feel his footsteps being matched on the carpet when he walks downstairs to the living room. It’s all written in the routine they used to have, and Jongin feels stinging tears when he reaches the bottom of the stairs and catches the smell of coffee brewing.

He blinks his tears away and just like that the smell fades away. His feet heavy on the floor takes him to the kitchen. He’s more than hesitant to walk inside, but he does it, walks right to the coffee machine and turns it on.

He hears the bubble of water boiling inside and turns to lean back against the counter, he can’t help but start smiling, a smile that turns into a breathless chuckle then a light laugh until he reaches for the hand held out for him and it slides through his fingers.

Jongin’s breath start coming out shorter and shorter, he’s going to lose it, if he doesn’t pay attention he’s going to lose himself in his memories. But he doesn’t want to let it go, not yet, he thinks with his skin warming up, his eyes cast down he sees them, hands bracing themselves against the edge of the counter, with a warmth that leans in till Jongin almost loses himself in this one.

He almost leans in to fall in an empty space but the coffee machine rings and he straightens, jolts up, his eyes snap open and he lets out a delirious chuckle. Who is he kidding; he’s already lost it.

The coffee is bitter, no sugar, no milk and Jongin laughs softly with his lips curved at the tip of the cup because he can hear “You’re so boring, taking your coffee so dark and bitter, why do I love you?” But no, he doesn’t really hear it, it’s like this old song that never leaves the back of his mind.

It either fast forwards, or keeps rewinding.

Right now Jongin is savoring it slowly. He knows there’s no one talking, that he’s alone in the kitchen with his cup of coffee pressed to his mouth, that there isn’t really a head resting on his shoulder and a body half lying on the chair next to him half lying against his side.

It’s alright though, as long as he knows, it should be fine, it shouldn’t hurt so much once he finishes his cup and stands up and feels nothing but air that passes through his window left open. Jongin leans over the kitchen sink and closes the little gap.

But it’s still cold inside.

“Jongin-ah, that’s not how you wear it.” Jongin pushes his bangs off his face and looks at his reflection in the mirror, he thinks it’s good enough, but he adjusts the tie just in case. Maybe he should just drop the tie, he’s never really liked them, those were Baekhyun things.

“Jongin-ah,” No, Jongin keeps his eyes on the mirror, stop calling. “Are you ignoring me now?” Don’t sound so sad, Jongin pulls on the tie and decides he doesn’t want to wear it. He doesn’t want to wear this black vest either, or this white shirt or this black pant.

He doesn’t want to fix his hair, he settles on the bed and drops his face in his hands, he doesn’t want to do anything, hear him or see him or miss him. But he does, and it hurts, it hurts that he can feel him right now, with his hand against Jongin’s head, lightly patting, with his fingers in his hair, stroking gently like he used to.

“I’m sorry.” It’s his voice, Jongin realizes it’s also shaking, he’s crying, he’s not even there yet and he’s already crying, “I’m sorry, so sorry.” He repeats and hates how damp his hands start becoming and hates how it’s all so real, with Baekhyun pulling him closer and comforting him, like he’s there, so palpable.

Jongin opens his eyes, he’s not hoping for a better world, or for the best, or for it to be real, he’s just lost in tears and this loss, he can’t believe he’s going through this loss. Why me? Then he asks himself, wiping his tears with the sleeve of the suit.

It’s no use, Jongin thinks, feels himself being pulled backwards and he’s too tired to fight this whatever it is, a ghost, his memories, hallucinations, if he’s really going insane. He’s tired, it’s been close to a year and he’s tired, he can’t believe he’ll never have this again.

Maybe if he falls asleep and never wakes up again it will hurt less. It’d be so easy, fall asleep without any intention of waking up, it’d be so good. Jongin sighs when he falls on his bed, eyes closed, mouth open in the bliss that he’d feel if he wasn’t alive in a world with just ghost of memories dancing around him.

He wants the world where he dances to make memories back, the world where he never thought he’d ever be this happy, the world where right now Baekhyun would be there, lying next to him with his eyes on Jongin’s face. Where Baekhyun would be laughing and then sliding closer and curling up against his side with his face pressed right under his chin.

When he sleeps Jongin can believe that he’s not gone, that he’ll never get to feel this way again. Sleeping until his dreams take him away, dreaming until he’s not sure of his own reality anymore. He wants that, with Baekhyun smiling at him behind his closed eyelids, he wants that, Baekhyun holding his hand out to him and Jongin taking it and feeling it close around his fingers.

It’s not slipping right through his reach, it’s solid and Baekhyun is there, he can touch him and feel him, he’s not warm, he’s icy cold yet he’s real and that’s all Jongin really cares about.

This dream feels so real, that lying down here on his bed, he lets a smile appear on his face.

So it works, it’s not a magic potion, but it works.

Just two drops of it in a cup of water or a cup of coffee and it’s magic isn’t it? He can hold Baekhyun and he can hear him and he can talk to him, and tighten his arms around him, “I missed you.” He can also say that and hear Baekhyun laugh.

It’s just really a sweet poison that runs in his veins.

some call it chemistry

doobb — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:42:39 GMT

Title: some call it chemistry
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance
Rating: pg
Summary: Jongin is always so new, yet this routine that Baekhyun doesn’t understand anymore, just take as it is.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: this is like a load of fluff idek, why am i even writing this pairing, why am i even writing this omfg i blame htiitlstdct for this though, all your fault, can i hate you please.

Some call it chemistry

Baekhyun thinks about how this is probably not a good idea, except he thinks it’s also the best idea ever and he opens his mouth to pant against the one pressed against his, still kissing his bottom lip and sucking. He tightens his fingers on the back of Jongin’s shirt and yes, this is not a good idea.

So trying to pull back is the right thing to do, but not with how Jongin whines in the back of his throat when Baekhyun turns his head away when he tries to kiss him again and he catches it, he catches that Baekhyun wants to stop it and he closes his mouth on Baekhyun’s neck presses right there against his skin, kisses, bites, nibbles, wants Baekhyun to give in.

But “No, no, stop.” Baekhyun resists even harder, pushing with no left strength with his hands so tight at Jongin’s sides, his eyes shut tightly and his kissed lips swollen and parted around Jongin’s name, “Stop.” He says again and this time, Jongin stops, but he doesn’t pull back, he stays still, close to Baekhyun, “Then just for awhile.” He says and Baekhyun’s fingers hesitate at his sides then relax and his hands slide back on Jongin’s back, settle and tighten.

Baekhyun opens his eyes, looks at himself through the mirror facing him and thinks about how fucked he looks, totally gone and he’s torn between whining about it and smiling stupidly about it. He settles for closing his eyes and trying not to let out that little whimper that dies in a soft sigh with Jongin’s hand fit right on his neck, and Jongin’s smile against his skin.

“This is your fault,” Baekhyun whines, hides his face in his hands and only looks up when the smell of coffee gets closer and he reaches for it before Yixing even hands it to him, “Should have never followed you guys.” He mumbles, drinks and relishes in the bitter taste of the coffee against his tongue and against the banging ache in his head.

“You had fun, and he’s handsome, what more do you want honestly?” Yixing says and he’s smiling so full of himself, like he just loves how Baekhyun is so angry over this. The plan was to get him to a club, make him have fun like always, they have fun like that all the time.

Except they hadn’t told Baekhyun that they kind of hooked him up with this guy named Jongin, god the guy is younger than him, what the fuck kind of fucked up friends does he have? He did find it weird when they suddenly introduced Jongin and he looked too satisfied when Baekhyun started being friendly, but you couldn’t blame him; Jongin is handsome, and kind of cute.

“Ugh,” Baekhyun pushes the cup away and starts gently banging his head on the kitchen counter, “Hate this, hate it.” He repeats and sighs holding his head in his hands again, “Never get me drunk so I can get laid, ever again.” He warns with what he hopes is a really firm voice but Yixing laughs it off and fuck him—fuck everything.

Baekhyun brings a hand to his neck, covering the still burning hickey plastered on his skin and he remembers Jongin’s mouth and tongue burning marks on his skin and Jongin’s fingers tracing patterns under his shirt, alright, it wasn’t that bad.

“You loved it.” Yixing says as if he’s reading Baekhyun’s mind, which makes him look up, his chin propped on the kitchen counter, cheeks red and a pout settles itself on his mouth, “Maybe, he’s alright.” And he hasn’t done this in awhile, that’s right, Baekhyun is just craving, that’s the only reason why he even likes this.

“Good to hear that, because I gave him your number.” Yixing says and starts walking out of the kitchen before his words registers in Baekhyun’s mind who just hums at first then jolts and straightens on his chair so fast he almost falls off it.

Baekhyun starts to wonder if Yixing wasn’t just kidding so he could watch him jump when his phone rings and look at it, waiting, and laugh at Baekhyun. Well, Yixing is like that, it’s not that he’s evil, but he’s really evil when it comes to making fun of Baekhyun he’s the first one to volunteer.

“Baekhyun has a crush,” He says and as soon as he hears that Baekhyun looks up eyes wide staring back and forth between Yixing and Tao who nods as if he suddenly understands everything in the world, or maybe he just understands why Baekhyun has been doing nothing on his phone but looking at it and holding it and just staring at it.

“I do not have a crush.” Baekhyun denies, because it’s true and he thinks about adding more reasons as to why he doesn’t have a crush when his phone rings and he throws all of it away picking up the call so fast and getting ready to be disappointed or humiliated for life when he looks up and sees Yixing grinning at him.

It’s Jongin, of course it is Baekhyun thinks, of course he would call right when Baekhyun has to defend his honor and crush it back like it doesn’t matter if Yixing becomes a laughing sock to his friends or not even Tao is enjoying this too.

It’s only after the conversation ends and Baekhyun hangs up and brings the phone to his face and blinks that he realizes Jongin has been calling him by his name though he’s younger and he hasn’t said shit, and all he just did was agree to see Jongin again, did he—did he just agree to a date?

When it hits him he nibbles on his bottom lip and quickly stands up from the table, “I’ll go back to work.” He quickly says and rushes back in the restaurant before Tao or Yixing can say shit about the fact that Baekhyun is blushing, he’s totally not blushing.

“I was wondering, if you, hum wanted to—” It feels like an eternity before Jongin’s words make sense so Baekhyun doesn’t know why he’s so impatient but he cuts him off with a quick, “Yeah, sure.”

“Really?” Jongin sounds surprised and he has a reason to be surprised of course.

“Yeah, when, I mean when do you want to do this?” Baekhyun answers back, how dumber can he get he thinks, rubbing a hand on his neck where the mark has started to fade and wondering if Jongin would put it back there if they met again.

“Tonight?” Baekhyun smiles and nods, “Alright.” Maybe he will, tonight.

“nine?”

“Ah, no, ten, because I finish work at nine and then—well,” Baekhyun hears Jongin laugh and he wonders if he laughed yesterday night too, it’s really soft though and i sounds mocking but he doesn’t get offended, he just smiles and bites harder on his bottom lip, “Sure, ten then.”

The more he replays the conversation in his head, the dumber he thinks he is. How dumb, with a guy younger than him on top of it all. Age doesn’t matter, but he should be more mature right? Except Jongin sounded way more mature than Baekhyun, and it’s frustrating.

Baekhyun fidgets, regretting not bringing a warmer jacket though Yixing did warn him to dress warmer, he just forgot and well, now he’s freezing but Jongin said he’d pass by the restaurant. It doesn’t matter how he got the address, Yixing is probably the reason why and well, Baekhyun will think about what to do about that later.

It takes two more minutes of staying still and wondering if he shouldn’t have just left with Yixing back to their apartment before he turns and sees Jongin walking towards him with hurried steps, tucked warmly in his coat and a scarf and looking up with a smile directed at Baekhyun.

How about forgetting to breathe and looking dumb? Baekhyun thinks and shakes his head, stop that, he thinks and smiles back at Jongin until he’s standing so close Baekhyun has to tilt his head to look up at him, oh he hadn’t realized then, but Jongin is taller than him.

Jongin is also looking at him from head to toe like trying to figure something out, with a smile following on his face and Jongin is taking his scarf off, Baekhyun watches without blinking until he feels it around his neck and closes his eyes at the breeze it brings across his face for a second before he feels it warm against his neck.

“Just,” Jongin says with his hands still around the scarf and steps closer, Baekhyun looks down and brings a hand to squeeze the scarf with Jongin’s hand still on it, “It’s cold.” Jongin adds and Baekhyun can feel him take another step close, his legs are dying to do something, step back or just turn around and run away, but they’re so stuck and glued to their spot he feels like they are going to start shaking.

This feels different from the rush of last night, this feels slower, somehow more embarrassing and Baekhyun just lowers his head further and further until he hears Jongin chuckle rather close and he does the mistake of looking up.

He closes his eyes though when Jongin leans down and kisses him, quickly, softly, so subtly Baekhyun would have classified it as a dream if not for the tingling feeling that lingered on his lips afterwards.

Baekhyun stares right after at Jongin’s satisfied smile, his hand turning and grabbing hold of Baekhyun and holding it tightly then tugging him along, “Let’s go?” his mouth when he says those words, how he seems to so easily draw Baekhyun in with just simple gestures, like they belong there, like Jongin fits right there and god damn it, he even forgets he’s just met him, he met this guy just two nights ago for god sake this is not normal.

But he likes Jongin’s hand in his, he likes Jongin’s shoulder bumping against his while they are walking side to side and he likes how he can still feel Jongin’s breath on his lips, he’s not sure if it should be that easy, but it is, it’s easy to squeeze Jongin’s hand, discards the heat on his face and bring his other hand to push the scarf up to hide the rising flush he can feel crawl from under his neck.

Baekhyun wakes up and knows some things are off, knows this is not his apartment, the first thing he does is look down to see if he’s dressed and yes he is, so it’s even more confusing to him. Not like he wished he wasn’t dressed, no he didn’t, or he would have gone all the way yesterday.

Then it clicks when he moves to sit and finds himself straddling something, looks down with his hands pressed flat against a chest, and yeah, he fell asleep on top of Jongin. It was funny, yesterday night; of course they should have known ten was such a late hour for a date to go anywhere.

So Jongin said, “Come to my apartment then,” And Baekhyun remembers hesitating for a second before Jongin laughed and added, “I won’t try anything, promise.” And damn he can actually read Baekhyun’s mind? He thought only Yixing could do that, but guess not.

He actually kept his promise, which was appreciated, though it didn’t mean that he kept his hands off Baekhyun. From the moment he stepped inside of the apartment to when they fell asleep on the couch, Baekhyun remembers having to fight the urge to just giggle when Jongin figured a ticklish spot and just kept probing and touching and reaching for it.

It was annoying of course, but he didn’t do just that. He cooked—more like he forced Baekhyun to make him something and helped, but he helped, which was also a good point, not like he is counting points to tell if Jongin would be his type or not, not at all.

But they cooked with Baekhyun figuring if Jongin wasn’t going to help then he would just be a distraction after ten minutes of trying to cut vegetables and nearly cutting himself because Jongin found a fucking sensitive spot right under his chin and he kept biting it and kissing it and laughing when Baekhyun would flinch. So of course when he nearly cut himself he pulled out something for Jongin to get busy with.

The worst though, the really, really worst is that they didn’t even get to eat what they cooked because right when it was ready Jongin already had him up on the kitchen counter, with his mouth everywhere on Baekhyun skin, warm and licking and biting and sucking, with his fingers trying to map out Baekhyun’s whole body.

Which led to Baekhyun giving in with a sigh, his legs wrapped around Jongin and he was the one who proposed they just go on the couch if all Jongin wanted was to make out and make him less hungry for food and something else.

So when he hears his belly make this annoying sound signaling he’s hungry, Baekhyun pulls himself out of the memories of yesterday and walks to the kitchen, stretching and swearing that sleeping in jeans are the most uncomfortable thing ever, but this wasn’t as uncomfortable it should have been.

Part of it might be Jongin, only part of it though.

“Just slept? Just slept?” Yixing says and he’s been repeating this for two minutes with his eyes open so wide like he can’t believe or maybe he went deaf over the news.

“What? Why is it so surprising that yes, we just slept and did nothing else?” Baekhyun is thankful for the restaurant being empty at this time of the hour, because Yixing’s voice which is usually not so loud has this volume that he uses when he’s the kitchen instead of the front, “Maybe because he’s Kim Jongin and you’re Byun Baekhyun, I’ve never heard of you sleeping with someone without fucking that person.”

“Woah, thanks for the image you have of me, dear best friend.” Baekhyun shouts back then walks to the back of the kitchen just to be called back to the front with the sound of customers walking in, “I’ll let you know that I’m totally capable of not just fucking around.”

“I can prove that.”

Baekhyun turns right back and regrets not just shutting his mouth and dropping the subject because fucking Jongin is standing there, leaning over the counter and looking as amused as ever, how does this guy always manage to come in at the most embarrassing moment?

“I—what are you doing here?” Baekhyun stutters and thinks great, now he’s losing his way with words whenever Jongin is around, great.

“Oh, I just thought I’d drop by, I was passing by and yeah, hum,” Baekhyun waits because Jongin is frowning like he’s not sure then he’s taking again, “No actually I just wanted to come see you.” Scratching the back of his neck like he’s nervous, is he actually embarrassed right now?

Baekhyun finds himself surprised by this, because Jongin always looked calm and collected then he just looks damn nervous and maybe he’s not the only one who is taken aback by how this whole thing seems to be happening so fast yet so slow an slipping out of control and feeling so good and just feeling so right.

But Jongin looks nervous, with his mouth pursed, playing with his crossed fingers on the counter and he can’t help but smile and wonder if he’s allowed to push, go further, tease and if he would see more of this Jongin if he did.

“I finish early today,” Baekhyun says and Jongin looks up, starts looking less nervous, more expectant, like he’s been given the best present ever.

He just right out beams at Baekhyun and it’s kind of beautiful in a way that makes Baekhyun just stand dumbly when he leans over and catches him off-guard again, like he’s been doing this whole week, like he’s been doing since they met, kissing him there, straight and quick, then pulling back and no, not yet, Baekhyun thinks with his fingers reaching, holding Jongin’s collar and follows Jongin’s retreating mouth, eyes closed and breath caught, feeling trapped but he doesn’t mind this, not really.

This is what it turns out to be for weeks; this is what Baekhyun life resume to. Jongin slowly making his way in his life, then suddenly everything is too fast and Baekhyun finds himself with his phone in hands at times, texting and he doesn’t hide the smile on his face anymore.

He’s still surprised by how Jongin can be confident at one time, especially when he knows he’s making Baekhyun stare like a love struck dummy again, but then he just turns shy and looks away when Baekhyun is straightforward and tells him things like, “I really like you.”

Or when Baekhyun found out Jongin is a choreographer, he thought so young, what can he do, what can he teach others at first, then he saw Jongin dance once and Baekhyun is like that, he keeps his thoughts but there are right here, at the tip of his tongue and he can’t seem to keep the words from leaving his mouth and he means it, he really does when he says “I love watching you dance.”

Or when Baekhyun grins at him when Jongin comes for another date, and another, and at one point he just feels so at ease he’s the one who reaches for Jongin’s hand and he’s the one who squeezes first, he’s the one who actually leans in to kiss Jongin and he’s the one drops by Jongin’s apartment to surprise him, invites himself over, stays and sleeps with Jongin wrapped around him.

Or when he comes too early and watches Baekhyun work and serve customers until he looks at his table and catches him staring and Baekhyun doesn’t understand why it’s still embarrassing, he really doesn’t, but he guesses it’s how he doesn’t understand why it still feels like Jongin’s never kissed him, never touched him, never held him when he does.

He calls it their thing, Yixing says it’s disgustingly cute and he hates that he’s the one who brought it there, which is kind of a sweet revenge for Baekhyun.

It’s a couple kind of thing, they don’t label it though, but it’s a lover thing. Holding hands, kissing, staying over, growing so close you learn to know how the others take his coffee, how the other’s footsteps sound like, knowing how it feels before Jongin touches him, knowing how it sounds before Jongin laughs.

But it still takes Baekhyun by surprise when Jongin presses against his back, tightening his hold on him, traps him between his legs and mumbles against his cheek, warm and soft, “Are we together?” that’s all he says and Baekhyun freezes, works the words in his mind, wonders how well they fit, together?

Yes, of course they are, they are so wrapped around each other it’s impossible for him to even think about how it used to be before this.

“Hum, yeah.” It’s out and then he feels silly for being nervous because this is the easiest question ever, and the answer is the easiest ever so he tries to reformulate so Jongin doesn’t feel so stiff behind him.

Baekhyun turns around and kneels, leans in, pulls Jongin in with his fingers clenched in the front of his shirt, kisses him, moves his mouth to the corner of Jongin’s mouth, to his cheek and smiles when he finally feels Jongin relax against him and feels his breath against his shoulder and his fingers grazing against his skin, under his shirt and he sighs.

“Or you could take me to bed and make sure of it.” Baekhyun laughs at Jongin’s fingers stopping and when he pulls back to look at him and this is a first, Jongin look really surprised, this is a first and it might not be the last thing Jongin will surprise him with, right?

“You can’t take that back.” Jongin warns with a grin and Baekhyun rolls his eyes, “That is if you don’t hurry then maybe—” Baekhyun words are lost in a burst of, “Hey, hey, Jongin what are you doing?” When he figures Jongin just threw him over his shoulder and he groans indignantly.

It’s still not a better idea just because some months passed, it will never be a good idea. Jongin is always so new, yet this routine that Baekhyun doesn’t understand anymore, just take as it is.

It’s all right to not think about it now that it’s got a name, kind of.

It’s alright to just taste the coffee that Jongin’s just swallowed off his tongue, let him press him further against the kitchen counter, hold him close with both of his hands holding Jongin’s face, with his fingers tracing features he’s learned to memorize with his eyes closed and think about how he has to tell Yixing he might be moving out soon.

Hold on tight 2/?

doobb — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 06:22:24 GMT

Title: Hold on tight [two]
Pairing: Myungsoo/Sunggyu
Genre: Angst, Romance.
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, Non explicit mention of abuse (sometimes sexual)
Summary:In which Myungsoo is a bartender with a hidden past he ran away from, Sunggyu is trying to survive on his own like always, and it pisses Woohyun off that he still can’t do anything to help. Honestly, Myungsoo never planned on meddling.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: here is the second chapter, i might update the other one sooner u-u

|| One ||

Two;

“You lied.” Woohyun said quietly, looked up from his glass at Myungsoo and smiled softly with a sigh then looked back down at his empty glass. “Do you think I worry for nothing?” He asked, tracing the contour of the glass with his thumb and biting down on his bottom lip.

“You care, that’s why you worry.” Myungsoo replied after pondering on what to say, a week passed since that night and he had been taking care of Sunggyu’s bruises until they started disappearing, a least the ones on his face weren’t visible anymore. He also avoided Woohyun through the whole week until at least his right eye wasn’t swollen.

Myungsoo did tell him to stop worrying the man by now, but Sunggyu is known for being stubborn when he’s trying to avoid a situation.

It can’t go on like this though, Woohyun looked pretty exhausted from always looking for him, Myungsoo sighed and rested his hands on the counter, “He said he’ll be back around eight.” He said and looked at the clock, so in about ten minute or so, Myungsoo held Woohyun’s eyes when he looked up, “You guys need to talk at one point.” Myungsoo shrugged and walked to the basement to get more bottles of vodkas before Woohyun would start to try to do weird things like thank him in an embarrassing way.

Sunggyu would get mad at him for this later though, but he’d deal with it later, if he was in Woohyun’s position, he would want at least a single talk with Sunggyu, to make sure he was alright. Besides, running away never brought anything good from what Myungsoo noticed.

He stood in front of the box of bottles of vodka and crouched in front of it, tried to pick one then stopped and sighed. He’s been having too many thoughts, he promised himself to not get involved further than that when he agreed with Sunggyu two months ago to let go, didn’t he?

Then why did he give this ridiculous condition to help him cover his condition to Woohyun? Take care of his bruises? It wasn’t going to work, no matter how small the victory was, even if it was a victory, there wasn’t a possibility of it ever being an overall victory, he’ll probably end up regretting everything.

But wasn’t this the way it went ever since he walked inside of this bar and met Sunggyu and Woohyun? He chuckled softly to himself and grabbed a bottle, walked back quickly upstairs and opened the door to find a man standing in front of the bar counter.

He noticed Myungsoo walking in and turned around with a big smile, Myungsoo blinked and tilted his head, waited until the guy spoke, “Is Sungyeol there?” He asked and Myungsoo shrugged, “I haven’t seen him.” He answered, placed the bottle under the counter and straightened to lean against the counter.

“You can leave a message.” It wasn’t working hours after all, so if he wanted to see Sungyeol as a customer, he would have to come during the working hours, Myungsoo wasn’t allowed to divulge anyone’s whereabouts when they weren’t working.

“Really? I just gave him a call and he said he’d be there to ask the person at the bar.” The guy sighed softly in slight disappointment and Myungsoo nodded, “What’s your name?” He asked after and heard “Dongwoo.” while grabbing a book on the counter and opening it.

He would appreciate if he were told these things beforehand Myungsoo thought with a frown, going quickly through the pages until he caught sight of Sungyeol’s handwriting. He looked up at Dongwoo and nodded, “Wait here.” He ordered him softly.

Myungsoo mumbled under his breath as he took the stairs up to the rooms to get to Sungyeol’s and knock just to get no answer, so he opened the door and there was Sungyeol, sleeping like he didn’t invite someone over.

“Yah,” Myungsoo called softly at first then walked to the bed and pulled on the covers until Sungyeol got shaken off the bed and tried to catch something to not fall but ended up crashing on the floor.

Sungyeol winced and sat to prop his chin on the bed, he glared at Myungsoo with a light pout, his bangs covering his face and scrunched his nose, “What the fuck Myungsoo?” he blurted out, still sleepy and Myungsoo just rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at his face.

“Someone is there for you.” He said and turned to leave when he heard Sungyeol shout, “Who?” He turned around and shrugged, “He said his name is Dongwoo.” As soon as he said that Sungyeol shot up and quickly pushed his bangs behind with a hand, “Dongwoo?!” He exclaimed like Myungsoo hadn’t talked loud enough.

“I’ll be down, hold him there.” Sungyeol hurried to the closet and Myungsoo shook his head, probably another one of Sungyeol’s flings. The last one lasted for about two weeks before Sungyeol declared it was time to change things, was it because of what he did as a job?

Though Myungsoo was sure it was just that Sungyeol needed more stimulation in a real relationship, if it was the job, Sunggyu too would be this way. Myungsoo couldn’t remember a time when Sunggyu brought a man or a woman home and declared it wasn’t for work but because he was dating this person.

Did he ever get in a relationship? Woohyun seemed to be more active between the two. There was also a time when Myungsoo thought the both of them were together, when he first started working here probably around the same time when he realized he didn’t like the idea because he wanted to be the one who’d be there instead of Woohyun, standing next to Sunggyu and monopolizing him like Woohyun used to do.

Why did it change? Sunggyu used to be able to be mad at Woohyun but still laugh and have fun with him, there was just something unusual since that fight a month ago. He didn’t think he had anything to do with it, but he did notice that Sunggyu hadn’t been bringing in customers since then.

This bar wasn’t a brothel, of course, but it belonged to Woohyun’s parents and went to him when he was at a legal age so he lend it without anything in return to Sunggyu and also came to live here so he could be there in a way for Sunggyu. That was all Myungsoo had been told.

Why Sunggyu ended up having to sell his body at one point, why Woohyun let him do it, why he couldn’t stop him, he probably will never know. They do have their own life, their own past, it made him jealous at times. He was also envious of how even though he knew Sunggyu was avoiding Woohyun, he also knew it wasn’t because he didn’t want to talk to him, but because he didn’t want him to worry.

But he didn’t mind Myungsoo worrying, of course he didn’t, he didn’t care that much about how Myungsoo would feel seeing him this hurt all the time without being able to say a word about it.

“I’m going out.” Myungsoo turned his head towards Sungyeol leaning over the counter with a big smile and reaching a finger to pinch Myungsoo’s nose then withdraw when Myungsoo glared back at him, “Tell the others I’ll be back for usual midnight drink.”

Myungsoo nodded and Sungyeol ran to where Dongwoo was waiting and didn’t wait before throwing his arms around his shoulders and holding on tightly before letting go while saying “I missed you,” that Myungsoo only caught because Sungyeol’s voice can’t afford to be too soft even when he’s purposely talking softly.

He returned to his drink when he saw Hoya walk in while Sungyeol and Dongwoo were leaving and he didn’t even get an answer when he greeted Sungyeol, so he turned to Myungsoo, “Who was that?” Hoya asked and Myungsoo shrugged, “Sungyeol’s new guy.”

“Really?” Hoya turned to look at the door again and sighed before looking back at Myungsoo, “Just when I thought his taste in men was hopeless.” He said and laughed softly when Myungsoo nodded, agreeing with his words.

“Don’t get me wrong, I still think it sucks, but this time he picked someone decent.” Hoya added quickly getting behind the counter as well and dropping his bag to push it under a table. Myungsoo nodded absentmindedly, decent? How could he tell that guy was decent from seeing him only once?

“Hey,” Myungsoo looked up and Hoya grabbed a glass to help him clean while still talking, “I never saw you date anyone either.” Hoya placed the glass next to the ones Myungsoo cleaned, “Do you want me to hook you up with someone?” He asked and Myungsoo shook his head, “I’m not interested.”

“Not interested because you don’t want to date someone, or you can’t?” Hoya asked back and Myungsoo stopped cleaning to look at him, “Is there a difference?” He asked, truly confused and Hoya nodded quickly giving him a quick smile, “Of course, if you don’t want to it means you don’t feel like dating, if you can’t, it means you want to date someone but you can’t date that person, so you can’t date anyone else because you like that person only.”

Myungsoo considered what Hoya just told him before nodding slowly and pursing his mouth, “Then,” He started and put the last cleaned glass on its shelf, “I can’t.” He added and felt the silence that fell in between them and Hoya’s curiosity was burning against his face. He quickly looked away, “You can take care of the ice, I need to use the bathroom for—”

He and Hoya froze hearing voices yelling from upstairs.

Another fight, great just what he needed. Myungsoo frowned and looked right back at Hoya before they both walked towards the stairs and up to Sunggyu’s room, it didn’t sound right at all.

“I am telling you, I am tired of you acting like I can’t take care of myself, I can damn well do it, I’ve been doing it even before you were born!” Sunggyu yelled out and when Myungsoo and Hoya got at the top of the stairs he stormed past them with Woohyun following him.

When did Sunggyu get home? Was it already that late? He hadn’t even seen the time pass, but he did know it would end this way, there was no way it would go down smoothly with Sunggyu so on edge since last week.

“If you could take care of yourself, I wouldn’t have to worry and you wouldn’t have to hide from me because you’re covered in bruises!” Woohyun yelled just as loud and walked past them the same way Sunggyu did but then before he could go further Sunggyu returned on his steps, yelled a quick, “Mind your business!” and surprised Myungsoo by stopping right in front of him.

“I trusted you.” Sunggyu said in a low and accusing tone that had Myungsoo flinching for a second before gaining his composure back.

Myungsoo held Sunggyu’s gaze until he shoved him away and walked downstairs, “Fuck you.” He mumbled, Woohyun went to follow him but Myungsoo stopped him with a hand on his chest, “I’ll take it from here.” He said without looking at anyone and then glanced up at Hoya, who just nodded and took hold of Woohyun’s hand, “How about a drink?” Myungsoo heard Hoya ask Woohyun.

Sunggyu was already too far for Myungsoo to be able to catch him, so he pulled his phone out after looking frantically around and dialed his number, surprisingly he picked up after the first ring and said nothing, just stayed there, breathing and letting Myungsoo hear until with the breathing sounds came a sob that he didn’t manage to stop.

“Where are you?” Myungsoo asked, closed his eyes and clenched his fist, “I’m sorry.” He added when he heard another sob then a hiccup and Sunggyu’s soft laugh through now uncontrollable sounds of sobbing that made Myungsoo clench his fist so tightly his nails started hurting his palm.

“Sunggyu, tell me where you are.” He asked, tried to not sound like he wanted to beg but it was hard knowing Sunggyu was somewhere crying and hearing it, but not being able to be there to see it, to make it stop. He has seen and heard a lot of things from Sunggyu that hurt him so badly he never thought he’d be able to stand up again or keep feeling like he cared about him.

But no matter what, Sunggyu never cried, not even when he’d been covered in so many bruises he could barely walk and he had been forced to let Woohyun tend to him. Not even when this one customer kept asking him to do these things that often left him with a bruise across the cheek and Woohyun getting mad at him for not saying no when he needed to.

He never cried, not even when that one time a customer came back with a woman that claimed to be his wife and left a mark of her hand across Sunggyu’s cheek and called him names Myungsoo saw him take in without ever breaking down, just retorting back that if her man was so good he wouldn’t come looking for whores in such dirty places either.

She would have had thrown a second slap if it hadn’t been for Woohyun standing in between right at that time, right before Myungsoo had been able to do it and protecting him, but he hadn’t flinched, he’d even tried to push Woohyun away but the woman had gotten flustered angry then left with her husband’s hand clasped firmly in her strong grip.

“Sunggyu.” Myungsoo called again but the other line was silent, the only way for him to know that Sunggyu didn’t hung up was the sound of his breathing still present, then he heard him inhale softly and he finally said something.

“Remember the day you came, we went up, higher than any other buildings in Seoul and Woohyun got drunk and told you to be happy with us.” Sunggyu said softly, Myungsoo heard a sniffing sound, trying to understand why Sunggyu was talking about that time.

“The sky wasn’t all that great, it was going to rain, but Woohyun insisted to go up there because you got hired, he was really happy.” Sunggyu went on and Myungsoo listened, “I remember it because when he fell asleep that night his head was on your shoulder, not on mine, I felt lonely, sitting there with two others people and feeling lonely, it wasn’t the first time.”

“Sunggyu where are you?” Myungsoo cut in, “Are you on that rooftop?” He asked again though he was already walking there, then started rushing his step and then running to the building. It was the one facing their bar building, it was an old building that they had to carefully take each stairs up to the rooftop due to how old it was.

“I realized long ago that a heart can change easily, that longing is not a good feeling, wanting to have something so much,” Myungsoo heard a sigh as he walked inside of the building, found the stairs and started going up. “Were you scared?” Myungsoo asked, if he had to take his time to go up, might as well continue talking.

“Scared? Of what?” Sunggyu replied back and Myungsoo tried not to smile at how he could imagine him frowning while asking that, “That if you told me it was fine to love you, I would have a change of heart.” Myungsoo got the rooftop door and found it open, he sighed in relief and stepped out.

“No, I wasn’t scared.” Sunggyu said softly, “I didn’t want you to.” He added and Myungsoo stopped before he could get closer to Sunggyu’s back facing him. “I don’t want you to, you’d probably end up like Woohyun,” He added in a softer tone, “Woohyun always said ‘I love you’ so easily.”

Myungsoo hung up without thinking and tucked his phone in his pockets, “Myungsoo? Myung—yah, did you hang up on me?!” Sunggyu shouted at his phone screen and sighed before sitting on the ground and crossing his legs, “Right, you’re all the same.” He looked up at the sky right when Myungsoo got next to him and sat down next to him, with his legs crossed too.

Sunggyu didn’t look surprised when he looked at his left and found Myungsoo looking at him, then give him a small smile on his side, Myungsoo lifted a hand and poked gently the tip Sunggyu’s nose. “Stop running away.” He said and bit his bottom lip watching Sunggyu’s eyes start wavering and looking everywhere but at Myungsoo’s face then focus back on him.

“You’re annoying, you know that?” Sunggyu scoffed and gently slapped his hand away, he turned his attention back to the sky and Myungsoo’s eyes stayed on his profile, the soft coloring that crept up against his cheek that he could only see from one side.

“I won’t leave, I won’t change either, will that be okay?” Myungsoo asked and Sunggyu kept his eyes on the sky then lowered his gaze to face nothing but air in front of him, he took a deep breath in and exhaled like he was gather strength to do something then he turned to look at Myungsoo.

“No it won’t be okay.” Sunggyu shook his head.

“I won’t anyways.” Myungsoo said right back and waited, sitting there with Sunggyu’s eyes trying to see why he wasn’t just letting go, it would be so much easier to just say whatever and let go of everything. But Myungsoo didn’t want that, if there was even a tiny chance that if he stayed he could finally get hold of Sunggyu, he’d stay until he didn’t have the strength to anymore.

Sunggyu looked down after awhile and aside from the wind blowing past with a gentle but cold breeze, no sound were heard, not even when Myungsoo felt Sunggyu’s fingers on his hand and he gave in to their probing and felt Sunggyu’s fingers wrap around his, then untangle themselves and slide in between the space of his fingers.

“I’m not going to be fair,” Sunggyu spoke after, not looking up but playing with Myungsoo’s hand, moving it up and down on his lap, “If you hold onto me like that, I’m going to drag you with me, it will hurt and I won’t hesitate to use you as a shield when I don’t want to get hurt, or hurt you when I want you to go away.”

Myungsoo tightened his fingers, feeling like this was enough, this was more than he even asked for, “I won’t let go.” He said again and looked at Sunggyu’s fingers linked to his then back up, found Sunggyu’s eyes on him and held them until Sunggyu looked down again, moistened his lips and shook his head with a heavy sigh.

“You’re dumber than I thought.” Sunggyu said but Myungsoo felt his grip tightened too and yeah he thought, this was enough in a way.

Myungsoo kicked a rock on their way back to the bar, walking at a slow pace that Sunggyu began for them, “Woohyun,” Myungsoo started and felt Sunggyu stiffen next to him, “Talk to him properly.”

“No.” Sunggyu said it with such a firm tone, it made Myungsoo more aware of the fact that there were a lot of things he would probably never figure out about this man who he wanted to know more than anyone, so he could get to know even his deepest secrets, those he wouldn’t even dare to share in his dreams.

“Why?” He asked and Sunggyu sighed and turned to look at him, “He’s annoying, more annoying than you are with his ‘stop going there, they hurt you.’ When he knows it’s the only way for me to,” Sunggyu sighed and shook his head, “Well to do what I have to do.”

What do you have to do? Myungsoo felt like asking, but didn’t at the same time, so he kept quiet, he also kept quiet when his eyes fell on their hands, still linked between them and he still kept quiet when Sunggyu stopped before they got to the bar and slowly started to let go of his hand.

He instinctively tried to stop it, but the warmth slowly subdued itself until there was nothing left but the cool air against his palm and Myungsoo quickly hid it inside of his pocket so he wouldn’t feel it bite his palm.

Sunggyu turned to face him, “Thanks for not asking.” He said when Myungsoo looked up at him and smiled. Myungsoo was used to this, Sunggyu smiling, Sunggyu laughing and thanking him, but it just felt different, with his eyes still swollen from when he cried.

“I figured you didn’t want me to.” Myungsoo shrugged, were things going to turn back to normal as soon as they stepped inside of the bar? It seemed like it, it seemed like as soon as they’d step inside Sunggyu would start pushing him away again until he’ll come with new bruises and Myungsoo will want to ask him what happened but won’t ask him, and Sunggyu will thank him again, maybe ruffle his hair, maybe give him a smile as a reward so Myungsoo can catch it and keep it locked for his memories.

But before that Sunggyu leaned in and Myungsoo stood still as his face got closer until he could feel his breath against his nose, he didn’t dare to make a single movement, too worried he’d scare Sunggyu away, but Sunggyu just gave him a lopsided grin before holding a hand against his cheek and kissing his other cheek.

Myungsoo felt his face warm up to the gesture and he gripped Sunggyu’s wrist before he could take his hand off his cheek so it would linger just for a bit longer before he had to let it go despite not wanting to. Sunggyu gave him a small smile.

“It’s cold, let’s go inside.” Sunggyu’s voice turned to this monotone tone Myungsoo could have recognized anywhere even if they weren’t saying the same word as then, but still, he knew this tone, it meant it ended there with the feeling of Sunggyu’s lips still burning against his cheek and the warmth of his hand lingering against his palm and fingers, still cold even safely tucked in his pocket.

He reached without thinking to stop Sunggyu from disappearing but grasped thin air, he looked up to find Sunggyu holding the bar’s door, he reached out too late. Myungsoo frowned, feeling nauseous without knowing why, like he knew something bad was going to happen from the fact that he reached out too late.

He frowned deep in thought and walked towards Sunggyu without giving it much thought, he bumped into someone because he kept thinking and thought too hard about it, he stepped back to apologize but arched a surprised eyebrow when he recognized the man from the other night.

“I told you, you’d pay.” Myungsoo heard him say and he opened his mouth to say something but the only sound that came was a gasp and his eyes widened in fear first then realization and the sheer horror of it when he felt something sharp cut through his skin.

The pain burnt through his stomach, down to all his nerves and he coughed while holding a hand to where he could feel the bleeding starting.

“Hey!” Sunggyu called out and shoved the man on the side, knowing it was probably too late to avoid what had been done, but not knowing what had been done. He wanted to turn to the man and yell at him, ask him what he did, but he stood frozen on the spot when he realized what he did and knelt before Myungsoo.

“Myungsoo, Myungsoo oh god.” Sunggyu gathered Myungsoo from the ground and pressed a palm against his hand where the bleeding wouldn’t stop, he felt the tears stinging the back of his eyes before they even dropped and tried to think, think Sunggyu think he told himself and took his phone out to quickly dial the ambulance number but he ended up calling Woohyun.

“Woohyun—Myungsoo is—do something.” His voice broke when Woohyun started talking and he looked down at Myungsoo’s still opened eyes.

“Hold on, you said you wouldn’t leave.”

burn with me, shine with me

doobb — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 10:48:15 GMT

Title: burn with me, shine with me
Pairing: jongin/baekhyun
Genre: romance.
Rating: r
Summary: baekhyun remembers when he first saw jongin and thought want to get him right against me, moving, burning and dancing with me.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: god, god, i was hit with this at 2am in the morning and i had to write it and just, i had to? inspired by katy perry teenage dream. i don't even know what this is to be honest, but i enjoyed writing it, i really did omg.

Burn with me, shine with me

The sun feels nice, so Baekhyun tilts his head back against the back of his seat and closes his eyes even though his sunglasses avoids him any direct contact with the sunlight. He quickly looks back at the phone in his hands when it vibrates and opens it to see a message appear on the screen, quick and short, we’re there and he smiles.

“They’re here.” He says and turns to the driver seat where he waits for Jongin to turns to him with the same smile, larger even and pull the hat on his head lower, Baekhyun reaches a hand as he tucks his phone in his pocket and pushes the hat up so it reveals a bit of Jongin’s forehead and he likes the way his bangs free themselves so he pulls the hat off Jongin’s head and sticks his tongue out playfully at his scowl, bringing it to his own head.

“Looks better on me, doesn’t it?” He asks, but Jongin just shakes his head, “Ridiculous.” He says and laughs until Baekhyun moves from his seat and with both arms leans in and wraps them around Jongin’s shoulders, effectively startling him and nearly making him let go of the wheel.

“Hey, be careful, we could crash.” Jongin reprimands him but Baekhyun just shrugs and pouts then presses a sloppy kiss on his cheek and flops back down in his seat, “No fun.” He mumbles bringing his legs up against his chest, “I shouldn’t have come.” He adds after awhile, looking from his side, he waits for it, and when it comes, when he feels Jongin’s fingers against his arm pulling, he smiles and bites on his bottom lip.

“Come here.” Jongin says and Baekhyun hesitates between still sulking or giving in, Jongin’s fingers squeeze his arm, tighter and he thinks whatever, leaning back in and putting his head on Jongin’s shoulder, nuzzling just a little bit closer so his nose can fit against Jongin’s neck and he nibbles on it, letting out a breathy laugh against Jongin’s skin shivering against his mouth.

“But seriously you need to stop so I can drive.” Jongin says, he probably means to be scolding Baekhyun, but his smile sounds through his words and Baekhyun stays still, feeling content with himself when Jongin’s arm tightens around his shoulders.

He gets shaken out of his position though when he hear his voice being called rather loudly by a voice he would recognize anywhere and he leaves Jongin’s side to turn around in his seat, kneeling on it, knowing full well Jongin is pulling at his jeans pockets for him to sit back down, but he waves his arms up instead, “Chanyeol-ah!” and calls back.

Chanyeol laughs and pushes his sunglasses up then laughs and lets out a really loud woohoo! that has Yixing tugging sharply on his legs to make him sit back down and Baekhyun can just about hear Yixing’s voice saying “Sit the fuck down before I punch you out of the car, god damn it.”

He turns around when he’s tired of Jongin starting to pull on his own leg and purses his mouth before shoving Jongin’s shoulder, “Fine, fine, stop that now.”

“You stop that.” Jongin retorts pushing against his shoulder too and taking his eyes off the road for a minute to grin at Baekhyun and he blinks wondering what Jongin is doing, looking from the road to Jongin then throwing his arms in the air and waving wildly, “Drive, drive, Jongin!” Baekhyun exclaims and reaches for Jongin’s only hand on the wheel and drives around a car coming towards them.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Baekhyun thinks it’s his voice, but his mouth is just hung open and he realizes it’s coming from next to them, but Yixing’s car is behind them and he sees a really surprised and kind of bordering angry Joonmyun driving next to them when he turns around. It startles him because he isn’t used to seeing Joonmyun swears then he just smiles awkwardly and clears his throat.

“Jongin is being an idiot.” Baekhyun says and winces at the pinch he feels on his shoulder, “He started it.” Jongin says, keeps his eyes on the road, “Hey there hyung.”

“Jongin, please don’t kill anyone before we get anywhere.” Joonmyun just warns and if they weren’t used to his tone, they would be scared by how firm he sounds, but Joonmyun was scary the first day they met him, after that he just became the less scary person to be around no matter how angry he was.

“I’ll try.” Jongin answers laughing and Baekhyun turns a glare to him, “Don’t try, do it, or I’m not letting your hands near me ever again.” Jongin’s laugh fades away and he puts both of his hands on the wheels, Baekhyun is satisfied with the frown on his face, as if he’s trying to know if Baekhyun is joking or not and he snorts.

“That’s a nice one,” Baekhyun turns his head to look behind him and grins together with Chanyeol who has his thumbs up, Baekhyun shows him his middle finger instead and turns back to face the road with Chanyeol’s laugh echoing behind them and Yixing sighing heavily rubbing at his temples, probably asking himself why he tagged along with this whole thing.

Then it’s quiet, except for the sound of cars driving and Baekhyun pokes Jongin’s sides, leaning his head against his seat and tugs on Jongin’s t-shirt until he lets go of the wheel and reaches for Baekhyun’s hands, threads his fingers through Baekhyun’s and brings the back of his hand against his mouth.

Baekhyun smiles and turns away with a bright red burning his cheeks.

They come to a stop and Baekhyun is the first out of the car before Jongin is even done parking the car, he hears him shouts “wait, wait don’t yet.” But jumps out of the car before any of that reaches in his ears and stumbles then quickly picks himself up and stands on his two feet just enough to be able to run and see Chanyeol do the same.

“Last to get there—”

“Has to take care of all the packs of beers in the cars!” Chanyeol ends for him and follows suit with Baekhyun still winning the race towards the beach. He starts pulling his shirt off, then tugging on the belt of his jeans and he’s there, close to the sound of the sea, it’s far and he starts sweating so he also gets rid of his shoes and laughs at how he almost trips and looks back to see all of them are running too now.

Baekhyun lets out a scream with a push forward and he’s ready to jump inside when the sands starts to disappears and the sea is right at his reach, but he feels nothing when he should feel water.

He squeals without thinking about it when he’s hauled up and finds himself blinking and opening his eyes to see skin a back then he just starts hitting whoever it is because damn he almost won but now he’s bend over a shoulder and he knows who this is, fuck it.

“Fuck you, let me down, let me down.” He whines still hitting until he’s about to continue whining but shuts up because he’s got water, salty water in his mouth, burning his eyes and he coughs and chokes and searches with his arms to pull himself out of it and when he emerges he doesn’t find anything funny although everyone else is laughing.

Baekhyun floats, mouth open, totally offended then charges towards Jongin who is the culprit of course, this damn little bastard, Baekhyun thinks as he swims towards him and sees him star to run away still laughing.

“He got you good.” Baekhyun hears Jongdae says, but he doesn’t stop, not even with Tao reaching for him and grabbing his arm, he frees himself and swims harder so he can catch up to Jongin, but he’s out of the water by the time Baekhyun makes it out.

The change from water to sun hits his skin and he remembers he forgot about the lotion to prevent his skin from burning but too late, he’s out of here and he tackles Jongin, or at least tries to, he just ends up jumping on his back though.

Baekhyun feels himself laughing along with Jongin but tightening his arms around his neck and tilting back until Jongin almost falls on top of him, he lets go with a frustrated sigh. “I hate this, you made me lose!” Baekhyun then sits in the sand, sticking to his skin and his shorts and huffs loudly.

He slaps Jongin’s hand away when he sees and looks up, narrowing his eyes against the sun. “No,” Baekhyun sighs and lies on his back spreading his arms wide against the biting sands burning his skin, “I’ll stay here and sulk until you start being a good boyfriend.”

Joonmyun walks by them, holding a pack of beer and Wufan who is behind him, holding two, laughs and shakes his head, “You’ll get burnt.” Baekhyun hears Sehun’s voice but he shrugs, he doesn’t care anymore, this feels good. They did a good thing when they planned this trip.

He sees the sun, and for awhile that’s all he sees until of course Jongin has to ruin it for him and show his face and hides the sun away but Jongin smiles and Baekhyun always thought his smile had nothing to envy to the sun light so he smiles back and reaches an arm, Jongin’s hand meets his and he pulls him up.

“Sure thing, if you can run faster than me next time.” Jongin laughs and Baekhyun pulls on their hands making them both stumble and this time—yes Jongin falls with him and he takes the chance to roll right on top of Jongin and traps him under him.

“You’re a meanie.” Baekhyun says, but his voice has this little soft edge to it and he can’t resist how Jongin practically glows, his hair pushed back and damp, darker than they usually are because they’re soaked and he leans down till he’s a breath away from Jongin’s mouth.

He stops because he’s amazed at how it still makes his skin warm and his whole body waits in burning anticipation and is too caught up in this sudden realization to notice Jongin still waiting for him to close the distance until he does so himself, with one of his hands in Baekhyun’s hair and his mouth is salty and moist against Baekhyun’s.

It doesn’t last long and Jongin pulls back to softly nip at the tip of Baekhyun’s nose, a thing he’s learned to love though he hated, hated it at first. Baekhyun scrunches his nose but doesn’t say anything. He literally feels himself melt when Jongin’s mouth starts pressing kisses everywhere on his face, his cheek, his eyes, his chin, biting gently there too then moving down to his jaw and under his chin and sucking lightly.

Baekhyun doesn’t even think about saying no, or stopping Jongin when he leans in again to kiss him, deeper, with his tongue searching his and this shouldn’t get so out of hand, except it is and he doesn’t give a fuck because Jongin is straightening and sitting until Baekhyun is just sitting on his lap and he’s holding Baekhyun’s knees, pulling him closer.

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than the sands Baekhyun’s fingers meet when he slides them in Jongin’s hair, it’s also starting to burn on his back and when he slides closer on Jongin’s lap and feels him hard against his thigh he gasps softly and he stops pulling back and laughing softly at how Jongin follows his mouth but shakes his head.

“There’s no way we’re fucking here in front of everyone.” Baekhyun says with a smirk then and leans in to bite Jongin’s shoulder then gets off his lap before his own dick starts having other thoughts of its own.

“Let’s join the other, come on.” He says tapping Jongin’s shoulder and waits for him to get up before grabbing hold of his hands and linking their fingers and pulling him back to where all the others are either in the sea or sitting by the beach.

Jongin pulls him and presses front against Baekhyun’s back and he feels small for a moment with Jongin’s mouth against his cheek and then against his ear and his arms tight around Baekhyun’s, he feels so small his heart starts to not fit in his chest.

Baekhyun wonders when it started to hurt so good.

Summer nights are always noisy, but this is good, this is really great because no one is talking, just sitting, still feeling warm from swimming and tired from jumping and running and Jongdae starts singing then, holding his guitar out and smiling at them when they look up. Baekhyun straightens from his position on Jongin’s lap.

It’s quiet, and warm, with a fire burning in the middle and all twelve of them sitting around it. Yixing and Wufan have been talking next to him and Jongin, hushed words that probably meant the world to him, like how Jongin’s fingers were playing with his and his chin was pressed on top of Baekhyun’s head, but this is good too.

Jongdae continues to sing and Baekhyun joins, not letting go of Jongin’s hands and smiles in the words singing themselves out of his lips when he feels him fits his cheek against Baekhyun’s. Then Kyungsoo’s voice joins in at the first chorus and Luhan’s too and they all start laughing with the sound of a louder music coming out of nowhere and they turn to find Sehun sitting on the hound of one of the cars then heading to them holding a radio.

“This is much better, right?” Sehun says and arches an eyebrow, Jongdae scoffs but puts his guitar away then he stands up and holds his hands out so Baekhyun takes them and then asks for Tao’s, until everyone stands from their comfortable spot on the ground or on a rock and start dancing to whatever comes out of the radio.

It’s bouncy and fun and laughter, with everyone squeezed in between changing partners till the music slows down and Baekhyun finds himself pulled back where he probably belongs most, he leans in, arms around Jongin, still laughing and tiptoes to get to his mouth, chuckling softly in between kisses.

“I love you,” Jongin slips in against his mouth, Baekhyun lowers his head but looks back up when he feels a finger under his chin and frowns at the heat crawling to his cheeks, he can feel it down to his neck, warm and sweaty and he hates, hates Jongin’s knowing smile so he kisses it roughly, with their teeth clashing and winces when Jongin’s bites just as roughly on his bottom lip to retaliate.

He’s ready to give it back, play back but then Jongdae shouts “Hey, get a room,” and Baekhyun flushes brightly but laughs and doesn’t take his eyes away from Jongin, he does the same then their laugh turns into smiles, then nothing and Baekhyun nibbles on his bottom lip nervously, clenches his fingers at Jongin’s sides.

He feels Jongin’s fingers against his cheeks, barely there, then in his hairs and feels his face tilting with hands that cups them until they disappear totally, because somehow, no matter how younger he is, Jongin’s hands are so big Baekhyun loses himself in them.

Jongin’s mouth is so soft he melts against his mouth, pliant and willing and when Jongin mumbles, “Yeah?” in this uncertain way Baekhyun just nods with a sound caught between a whine and a moan in the back of his throat.

Baekhyun startles when Jongin grabs his wrist and starts making them run to where the cars are parked, then shakes his head and swears revenge for how embarrassed yet lethargic he feels when Jongin turns around to shout, “We’re leaving first.”

“Have fun!” Chanyeol shouts, “Use condoms!” Jongdae adds and Baekhyun tugs on Jongin’s hand with quick, “Hurry, hurry.” Before he can hear more of it, and some of them are way worse than what Jongdae could do, it is even worst when Joonmyun joins in and tells him to not make them late tomorrow if he’s sore.

“Wait, why would I get sore?” Baekhyun asks stopping short but Jongin is the one hurrying him inside of the car now and he just frowns as he sits inside.

It starts raining before they make it back to the motel and Baekhyun laughs thinking about the others still at the beach and thinks, serves them right. But him and Jongin have to rush out of the car, he quickly fits his hands in Jongin’s when he holds it out and looks up at him, grinning as they start running to their room.

When Baekhyun starts questioning why it’s so far and hidden away, he feels Jongin let go of his hand and pull his jacket off to put it above their heads, “You’re doing that now?” He asks because it’s useless they’re already there, and steps under the roof of the motel, “Keys, keys.” Baekhyun grabs Jongin’s jacket and searches inside for the keys.

He’s starting to shake and his fingers can’t handle the key and he should hate this, really, being soaked so much he can feel it through his skin, but Jongin takes the key and leaning over him with Baekhyun’s back against him, warm and also soaked makes him all giggly inside and yeah okay, this is okay.

Baekhyun turns around before Jongin has the door open and throws his arms around his neck hauling himself and barely standing on his toes when Jongin’s arm wraps itself around his waist and lifts him up.

“Wait,” Jongin says and lets go of his mouth, trying to breathe and push the door open and Baekhyun shakes his head, legs tightly wrapped around Jongin, follows his mouth and his breath and kisses him again, harder, tries to melt their skin together but realizes there are too much clothes.

“Clothes—clothes, Jongin.” He whines and starts pulling on Jongin’s shirt, he does all he can to make it difficult for Jongin to close the door behind him. But when he does all Baekhyun wants is to fucking get rid of these clothes and he feels like tearing it apart, but then Jongin laughs and drops him unceremoniously on the bed.

Baekhyun bounces and frowns though he has no time to be offended at how roughly he was thrown on the bed, because Jongin is on all four over him with his mouth right where it should be so Baekhyun can’t say anything and he starts kissing him softly, like the first time, gentle and searching with their mouths moving slowly and Baekhyun’s fingers tingle, his legs slide up then down and he doesn’t fucking know where his mind is gone to.

But he knows Jongin is there, palpable, with no shirt on—finally he thinks and trails his fingers down Jongin’s chest, loving how he can feel his heartbeats when he puts his palms flat against his skin before moving lower, to Jongin’s clenching stomach and he swallows Jongin’s groan, his fingers tight around his belt.

It’s too much clothes at first, then it’s too much skin, wet and slippery with Jongin’s mouth everywhere, biting and sucking and Baekhyun has to stifle a laugh when it reaches his stomach, he clenches and unclenches his fingers in the sheet and arches, eyes wide open a second then closed, mouth open with Jongin’s warm around his dick and sucking now and—fuck.

Jongin does, he fucks him slowly at first, like they’ve got all night and they do, with Baekhyun only being able to breathe Jongin’s name against his mouth, unable to breathe anything else and if he does he kisses Jongin, but it’s sloppy and too lost in how Jongin is just taking his time pushing inside of him so slowly to pull out just as slowly, if he goes on he might lose his hair because Baekhyun has been tugging harder and harder.

“Hurry it, hurry—Jongin.” Baekhyun feels his body clench around everything that consists of Jongin and it’s not good, not good then too good, too much and he pushes himself up, pushes a hand on Jongin’s chest and catches him off guard, rolls them to straddle Jongin’s hips.

“Damn it, are you trying to kill us?” He asks when he can finally breathe and leans in biting Jongin’s smirk away, “Hate you,” He mouths against Jongin’s still smiling lips, moans and moves on top of him when he feels Jongin’s fingers digging through his hips.

Baekhyun picks up the pace, straightens but Jongin grabs his wrists and pulls him back down to have him closer, he reaches for the bedhead instead and holds tightly on it, lets Jongin leans and kiss his mouth, his neck, bites hickeys into his flesh and get him closer and closer.

He’s not going to last, not with Jongin’s hips meeting his thrusts on an even scale and then going faster and then Baekhyun loses what the rhythm is, his legs starts shaking and he whines out soft little whimpers that gets lost with “Jongin—Jongin, jongin, Jongin.” Dancing in between them.

“Do it,” Jongin bites into his neck then pushes him back on the bed, elbows at either side of his face, Baekhyun opens his eyes and drinks in everything, Jongin’s mouth open around his name, his name, then he’s panting and barely breathing with his hands against Jongin’s face.

Jongin buries his face in Baekhyun’s neck, “Love you.” Baekhyun hears and at first doesn’t realize he’s the one who says it, but he is and he whimpers and bites it with his teeth sharp against his bottom lip when he feels Jongin’s teeth sink on his neck, his own hands tighten on Jongin’s shoulders and he’s there, right there with Jongin, so high and bright and burning.

Baekhyun remembers when he first saw Jongin, he wakes up and as soon as he opens his eyes to find Jongin’s sleeping face, he remembers it and stops breathing, like how he stopped and saw Jongin dancing and thought want to get him right against me, moving, burning and dancing with me.

He doesn’t remember how or when Jongin saw him, but that’s Jongin’s view, not his, he’ll ask one day, when Jongin wants to tell him how he found Baekhyun who is just this boy lost in his own hopes and dreams and who was pulled out of it right when he didn’t think it was possible anymore.

He likes this, Baekhyun thinks moving his fingers from Jongin’s cheek to his mouth, no he loves this, he corrects himself and watches Jongin’s eyelids move, watches his eyes flutter open with a sleepy smile curving them.

You shine so bright, “It’s scary.” Baekhyun mumbles, “Hm?” He shakes his head at Jongin’s voice, “Nothing,” he says softly mouth already close to Jongin’s, “Morning.” He adds and kisses Jongin’s reply.

“You’re looking quite sore.” Baekhyun shoves Tao away and looks quite satisfied when he falls against Yixing who yelps and falls right against Jongdae who manages to actually escape right before Yixing bumps into Wufan who falls on the ground and groans out loud.

Baekhyun sticks his tongue out and jumps in the car, “Start it, go, go.” He says tapping on Jongin’s shoulder until he finally starts driving, laughing and shaking his head.

“I’ll get you Byun Baekhyun!” Yixing yells, furious and Baekhyun turns on his seat frowning because yes, he really feels sore, but it feels good, his body aches and it feels so good he could scream so he does, he screams with his arms in the air and laughs and sits back.

He leans in and kisses Jongin’s cheek, loving how he can feel Jongin’s smile on his mouth before he pulls back. Baekhyun’s own mouth curls into a smile and he reaches for the radio, turns it on and laughs as soon as teenage dream starts playing then starts singing it while Jongin just shakes his head and looks at him briefly mouthing, really?

Baekhyun shrugs and reaches for one of Jongin’s hands, lacing their fingers.

We can dance until we die
You and I, we’ll be young forever

Hold on tight 1/?

doobb — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:15:45 GMT

Title: Hold on tight [one]
Pairing: Myungsoo/Sunggyu
Genre: Angst, Romance.
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, Non explicit mention of abuse (sometimes sexual)
Summary:In which Myungsoo is a bartender with a hidden past he ran away from, Sunggyu is trying to survive on his own like always, and it pisses Woohyun off that he still can’t do anything to help. Honestly, Myungsoo never planned on meddling.
Disclaimer: I just own the story, none of the boys.
a/n: I have been working on this for awhile and well it's out now~ it's got chapters already done so I'll update once each two weeks, so skip a tuesday and the tuesday after that, I hope you enjoy this if you read it~

One;

“Myungsoo-ya,” Myungsoo didn’t look up from cleaning his glass and got out a soft, ‘hm?’ towards the voice and the man walking towards him now, “Did you see Sunggyu?” He shook his head, placed the clean glass on the bar counter and turned around to face a frowning Woohyun, “Why are you looking for him?” He asked, watched Woohyun sigh and scratch the back of his neck.

Woohyun shook his head after that, forced a smile Myungsoo obviously noticed was too tight and rounded the counter, “Nothing big, I just need to find him.” Myungsoo arched both eyebrows towards Woohyun retreating back, it’s true that Woohyun is good at making everything look like it’s not a big deal even if it is, but Myungsoo’s always been able to tell when it was and when it wasn’t.

Besides it was rather rare for Woohyun to look for Sunggyu when it wasn’t an urgent matter.

But if he didn’t want to tell Myungsoo, then it probably was an even bigger problem, except he wasn’t going to dwell on it, the last time Woohyun went to look for Sunggyu, he came back and they argued for a week, when Sungyeol tried to stop them they ended up also being mad and irritated at him for the whole week.

If anyone dared to meddle between those two fights they’d end up getting both of their wraths on them and the last time it was Sungyeol who tried to do so, well they couldn’t blame him he was new at that time.

It was just his luck that he’d rather not know than know and not know what to do with the information. Don’t get him wrong though, he did observe, he probably saw more than he should have when he’d walked in one day on Sunggyu changing and had caught glimpse of a healing bruise on his back before the shirt had slid all the way down and had covered it.

He’d quickly acted like he hadn’t seen a thing though when Sunggyu had looked up and had seen him at the door, had gotten startled and quickly tried to stutter something but Myungsoo had been quick to interrupt him with a soft “Morning.” And he’d resumed to what he’d walked in for.

Myungsoo didn’t ask, didn’t ponder, kept his thoughts to himself, even when he saw Sunggyu storm inside of the empty bar minutes later, his jacket hung on his right shoulder, a fuming expression on his face when he looked up and found Myungsoo looking at him and Woohyun walking right behind.

“Kim Sunggyu!” Woohyun shouted at him and Sunggyu quickly looked away from Myungsoo’s face, walked past the counter and slammed the door of the basement behind him and both Woohyun and Myungsoo heard the lock before he could open it.

“Damn it, can you stop this?!” Woohyun yelled, fist knocking on the door, but all he got back was a sharp, “Fuck off.” Dry and curt and Sunggyu’s footsteps could be heard walking down the stairs.

Woohyun’s fist didn’t stop though, until Myungsoo had to calmly state, “You’ll end up breaking the door.” But Woohyun just kept pounding on the door so he added with a soft sigh, “We don’t have enough money to afford a new door, hyung.”

That made him stop, though Myungsoo wasn’t sure if it was really what he said that did it or because he was just exhausted and irritated at how it wasn’t getting him anywhere. He walked to the bar took one of the chair down and sat with his head in his hands.

Woohyun let out a frustrated sigh, “Give me something to drink.” He asked without looking up, Myungsoo frowned, “It’s too early to drink.” He said but Woohyun looked up at him with a glare and looked down when it seemed to not make Myungsoo flinch even a tiny bit.

“Just give me one glass, I am not planning on drinking a whole bottle.” Woohyun snapped, looking back at the basement locked door then back at Myungsoo, “Never mind,” He said and leaned over the counter, down to where some bottles had been left and picked one whisky bottle, “I’ll help myself.”

Myungsoo bit on his bottom lip, feeling a bit annoyed and reached to take the bottle away, “That’s a new one.” He said and quickly pulled it out of Woohyun’s grip, put it back in its shelf under the counter and went to grab a rather old one, “Take this if you want to waste yourself.” He handed Woohyun a dusted bottle and watched him scrunch his nose with a shrug and a smirk.

“You’re so stingy with your bottles.” Woohyun lightly pouted and sighed, “Alright, and if Sunggyu ever comes out of here, tell him when I catch him, he’s a dead man.” He proclaimed before walking out of the bar, Myungsoo chuckled softly, mocking Woohyun’s words and back, like he’d be able to kill Sunggyu.

Sunggyu walked out about an hour after Woohyun left, opened the door slowly and peeked through the tiny space, Myungsoo leaned against the counter phone in hand and quickly replied to a text message and said without turning to look at Sunggyu, “He went to drink, he also said you’re dead when he catches you.”

Sunggyu’s head snapped to where Myungsoo was and he blinked like he hadn’t realized Myungsoo was still there.

“Oh, you’re there.” He said, proving that he really hadn’t noticed then walked out and closed the door behind him before wincing a little and tilting his body to the side. Myungsoo kept his eyes on his phone then looked at him when he heard a soft hissing sound come out of Sunggyu’s mouth.

“Something wrong?” He asked and Sunggyu shook his head, “No, but Woohyun kept insisting, it was annoying, I’m fine.” He sighed then and walked towards the bar and hopped on top of it, moved until he was on the other side of the bar and slid next to Myungsoo.

He was probably trying to act like he was fine, Myungsoo thought, kept his eyes on Sunggyu’s movement until he finally stood next to him and sighed, with a light grimace of his mouth he reached and poked Sunggyu’s side to prove his point and Sunggyu quickly winced and edged away.

“You’re not fine, that’s why.” Myungsoo said softly and turned his eyes back to his phone, “Why are you still there?” Sunggyu asked instead of replying to what he said, “I’m waiting for Hoya to get here so he can take over, he’s late.” Myungsoo said and showed his phone, “Just sent him a text.”

“Do you like it?” Myungsoo turned to look at Sunggyu with an arched inquiring eyebrow, “Working here, in the bar, do you like it?” Sunggyu asked again and sighed when Myungsoo just gave him a shrug; “Sometimes I wish I was like you, so carefree about everything, not really caring about what happens.”

“Do I seem like that?” Myungsoo asked, clearly surprised, because it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but he just didn’t know if he was allowed to at times. “You aren’t?” Sunggyu asked back and Myungsoo shrugged again, which for an unknown reason made Sunggyu laugh softly and bump his shoulder against Myungsoo’s, “See? That attitude again.”

Myungsoo frowned then smiled and nodded, “I guess I can see why it seems that way then.” He said without really agreeing inside but it might be true that he didn’t care as much as others would.

“Anyways, I’ll go take care of my br—” Sunggyu cut himself right before he said the last words and looked back from where he was walking and gave a nervous smile towards Myungsoo who simply nodded and that seemed to put Sunggyu at ease because he smiled and mouthed “Thank you.” Then hands in his pockets Myungsoo watched him disappear behind the door.

“Sorry for being late,” Myungsoo turned around at Hoya’s voice, “You better be.” He reprimanded softly before Hoya hopped over the counter much like Woohyun would have done in this situation and patted his shoulder a bit too roughly for Myungsoo’s taste, “Don’t be this grumpy so early, anyways, is there someone upstairs? I forgot something.”

Hoya asked while making his way upstairs and it took Myungsoo about three seconds to realize what Hoya would most probably see and he quickly reached and grabbed his hand, “Wait, what did you forget?” He asked and Hoya blinked surprisingly at his hand then up at him, “My bag, I think it was left in Sunggyu’s room after Woohyun took it, he said he needed some band-aids.”

Myungsoo tugged back on Hoya’s hand when he tried to walk away again, “Myungsoo, I know you’re happy to see me and all but.”

“I’ll go get it, isn’t it that purple backpack you always have on?” He asked and Hoya looked at him, even more surprised and nodded, a bit confused, “I can—”

“You’re late enough, do your work.” Myungsoo interrupted him and it seemed to be enough of a reason for Hoya to agree with him and look like he was the one doing something wrong now and quickly walk back on his track, “Alright, yes, you’re right.”

He didn’t really understand it himself, why he stopped Hoya from going upstairs and risking that he’d catch Sunggyu tending to his bruises. But he was sure he did the right thing anyways, so he shrugged it off and walked up the stairs to Sunggyu’s room located right next to Sungyeol’s room since Woohyun moved out about a month ago so Sungyeol would have a place to stay.

It didn’t often look like it, but Woohyun kind of took care of them all like a big brother would, even though Sunggyu was the one who initially brought up the idea of Sungyeol living with them and Woohyun moving. Woohyun knew it was because he wanted him off his back after that huge fight they had about Sunggyu’s body and work.

They didn’t say it was because of that of course, but Myungsoo was pretty sure it couldn’t be anything else, or he was pretty sure it was a big part of it. It was just speculations of course, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried when he saw them for the first time, it was just one, but it looked like it wasn’t the only one.

He understood why Woohyun would be worried of course, but Sunggyu didn’t seem to like it, he never seemed to like worrying others. Myungsoo knocked on the door of his room and got no answers so he let out, “Sunggyu? It’s Myungsoo, I’m coming in.” as a warning before opening the door as slowly as he could.

He was half relieved and surprised to notice that Sunggyu wasn’t anywhere to be seen in the room and quickly scanned everywhere, “Sunggyu?” He called softly, comfortable with how he didn’t have to use any formal honorific to call Sunggyu’s name, a habit he picked up after knowing it was something Sunggyu really hated.

He kept quiet though when his eyes landed on the bed next to the door and he found Sunggyu sleeping there, well it looked like he was sleeping. Myungsoo walked inside the room with a small smile and sighed before looking for the bag. It stood out of course, since it was the only thing that was colored in the room.

Sunggyu’s room was made of white walls, a white small bed but big enough to fit one body and he was occupying all the space on it. Myungsoo took the bag on the desktop chair and while leaning down noticed a left opened first-aid kit and pursed his mouth while looking inside.

He shut the box down and opened a drawer to put it back in its place, knowing where it was because Woohyun asked him once to go get it after receiving a call from Sunggyu.

He grabbed Hoya’s bag and was making his way out of the room when he heard Sunggyu shift on the bed and looked to see if he was waking up, but fortunately he wasn’t, he just rolled and Myungsoo’s eyes were drawn to his wrists and arms moving out of the cover and showing traces of tight grips that bruised his skin.

It didn’t help that Sunggyu’s skin was a bit too white during cold weathers; it made even a tiny little bruise visible. Myungsoo swallowed when Sunggyu shifted again and this time the cover slid low but Sunggyu’s hands helped too, he seemed to be too warm so he pushed the cover further away and Myungsoo stared at the one on his hip when he rolled on his side and his shirt slid up.

Sunggyu’s eyebrows furrowed and his expression showed that it was probably a bad position to be in. Myungsoo stayed still for about a minute, just looking and wondering how many he’d be able to count on Sunggyu’s body if he took the time to lift up the shirt right now then he walked out of the room with the sensation of feeling Sunggyu’s uncomfortable pain crawling under his skin.

When Myungsoo looked up and saw Woohyun frowning at him while making his way through the people dancing in the middle of the bar, he knew what he was going to ask before Woohyun even said, “Did you see Sunggyu?” He shook his head at the same time, saw Woohyun frown deepen, his jaw clench his fist tighten at his sides then watched him storm out of the bar, pushing whoever was in his way.

Myungsoo felt bad then, for lying. But Sunggyu came out of his room minutes ago and told him to not let Woohyun know he went out, and he just didn’t feel like not doing what he’d been told to do, especially when it came to those two. He looked at where Hoya was serving a woman who was leaning in too close and showing everything that her dress wasn’t hiding.

“Hyung,” Myungsoo called out softly, “Can you hold it without me for awhile? I need to go do something.” He asked when Hoya looked up at him and Hoya nodded with a smile, “Sure, make it quick.” Myungsoo nodded and took his apron off his waist then walked to the back of the bar, it was busier tonight.

Even though the bar wasn’t popular, but it had quite a few loyal customers and it was enough to make them all live without starving. Myungsoo never thought he’d find himself here of course, but he did and he wasn’t complaining. He closed the door of the back behind him and took the pack he’d bought this morning, took a cig out and started to light it, getting irritated with the cold making it impossible and his fingers freezing.

He let out an annoyed sigh and tried for the fourth time then nearly threw the lighter and quickly took a deep breath in, looked up at the sky. He heard footsteps coming but thought nothing of it, until it seemed rushed, like someone running and he looked at where he was coming from.

“You’re dead when I catch you!” He heard someone yell and saw a figure turn around the corner and run right in the alley where he was, it took him quite awhile to be able to see who it was in the dark when the figure looked up at him and waved his hands frantically.

“Myungsoo,” He recognized Sunggyu and heard him call for him and Myungsoo frowned, why was he running? Did Woohyun finally catch him? Myungsoo tilted his head to see who was chasing him, “Myungsoo, run!” Sunggyu shouted but Myungsoo caught his hands reaching for him and made him stop.

Sunggyu tried to pull out but Myungsoo maintained a firm grip on his hands and quickly hid him behind his back when he noticed the man following wasn’t Woohyun.

“Move.” Myungsoo arched an eyebrow towards the man and tilted his head, “Why should I?” He asked, feeling irritated first of all because he hadn’t been able to light a cigarette to pass off time, and with the tone of the guy he just didn’t feel like it, “This is none of your business, just hand the guy over.”

Myungsoo shrugged and stood still even when Sunggyu kept pulling on his hands, trying to run away still, “I don’t want to,” He said then turned to look at Sunggyu, “You want to?” Sunggyu looked at him, blinked with wide eyes and then shook his head, “Of course no.”

“See? He doesn’t want to either.” Myungsoo said turning back to the man who seemed ready to just throw a punch to get to Sunggyu, but he probably shouldn’t try that, Myungsoo thought to himself, tightening his grip around Sunggyu’s wrists.

“Are you joking? I said hand him over!” the man took a step forward, as if trying to make Myungsoo give in but he just looked at him and sighed then turned around to open the door of the bar and made Sunggyu go inside first, “Let’s go.”

“Hey, hey, aish, this guy, you don’t know what you’re doing.” Myungsoo turned around to look at the man, “I’m helping a friend, how does it look like I don’t know what I’m doing?” The man took a step forward and Myungsoo felt like shutting the door behind Sunggyu and resuming this but he felt a tug on his hand and looked at Sunggyu shaking his head quickly so he just sighed.

“You should get lost before I call the police to get you.” He added and smirked at the man’s face turning red with anger but his eyes flicking at the mention of the police then he walked inside behind Sunggyu and shut the door with the man still shouting at them that it wasn’t the end.

It was silent after that, if not for the far sound of music playing upstairs, nothing else could be heard but Sunggyu quiet breathing, then his shifting and he looked up at Myungsoo with a smile on the corner of his mouth but he quickly winced at that.

“Sorry you had to see that.” Sunggyu said to fill the silence but Myungsoo shook his head and reached a finger to touch the corner of his mouth, “Did that guy do that?” He asked and Sunggyu looked down while pushing his hand away, “No, no one did, I’ll go upstairs now.”

“Woohyun came.” Myungsoo said before Sunggyu could take a step forward, he stopped and turned around, “You didn’t tell him—right?” He asked uncertainly and Myungsoo shook his head, “No, but he was worried.” Sunggyu sighed and tried to laugh it off again, this time without wincing but still looking like it hurt to try to even talk anyways.

“That’s good, thank you, he worries for nothing, so it’s best if he doesn’t hear of this.” Sunggyu said and Myungsoo understood of course, he had to keep quiet about this too.

He sighed and took a step forward, “I don’t know what it is about, and I never asked, but Woohyun just want to help and if you don’t let him do that, it’s not fair.” Sunggyu’s shoulders slumped and he nodded looking down, “I know, but this is my problem, I need to resolve it on my own.”

It stayed silent after that until Myungsoo spoke up again, “Let’s go take care of that.” He said and grabbed Sunggyu’s hand to pull him upstairs, “Wh—what?” He asked to Myungsoo’s back, “Your face, it’s really ugly right now.”

“Hey!” Sunggyu retorted with an offended tone then widened his eyes and pulled his hand out of Myungsoo’s, “Wait, I can do that on my own.” He said but Myungsoo grabbed his hand again and kept pulling and forcing him to follow his steps.

“Since you don’t want to let Woohyun worry, I’ll help,” He said then stopped when they got on the rooms level and turned to look at Sunggyu, “But you’ll have to let me help with your bruises.” He said and frowned, he was asking but clearly he didn’t mean to ask like Sunggyu had a say in this and to prove his point he reached a hand, “Keys.”

Sunggyu looked at him then down at his opened palm and hesitated for a bit before sighing and fumbling in his pockets then putting the key of his room in Myungsoo’s palm, “You’re both troublesome.” He mumbled under his breath but followed Myungsoo inside when he opened the door.

Myungsoo’s eyes stayed on the bruise as he pressed the cotton against the corner and he arched an eyebrow at how Sunggyu wouldn’t even wince, “For how long have you been doing this?” He asked while doing the same thing for the corner of his eyes where the cut was deeper so Sunggyu let out a quiet hiss without answering Myungsoo’s question.

“You don’t want to tell me?” He asked again and Sunggyu sighed before looking away, “Don’t move.” Myungsoo ordered firmly and he turned back to looking up at Myungsoo, “It’s not that bad.” Sunggyu said and bit his bottom lip when Myungsoo looked at him with an expression that wondered if he was serious or joking.

His lip was cut, the cut next to his eye would probably need stitches, and the corner of his mouth was bleeding until they had to stop it, his cheek was swollen and his other eye was also rather swollen.

“You’re stupid.” Myungsoo sighed, no wonder Woohyun is always worried.

Sunggyu said nothing and he applied the rest without much talk, he had to stitch the eye cut though and while doing that, Sunggyu barely let out a sound to show how painful it was, he kept either biting on his bottom lip so hard it started bleeding or just tightening his teeth since Myungsoo covered his mouth so he’d stop making his bottom lip worse.

“Myungsoo,” He looked down at Sunggyu who managed what he could of a smile and poked his stomach, “Thank you.” He said softly and Myungsoo put the band-aid against the stitched wound before nodding softly.

It was the least he could do, without knowing why Sunggyu always came back with bruises, and without knowing why he was running with that man chasing after him and why he just didn’t want to get Woohyun involved. Maybe this way, he can help both Sunggyu and Woohyun, so why not.

Myungsoo sighed and slid his thumb against the band-aid, listening to Sunggyu breathe and just looked at him until he felt self-conscious of the small distance or rather the lack of distance between them and stepped back softly but quickly and took his hand away.

“Done.” Myungsoo said and held Sunggyu’s eyes until Sunggyu was the one to look away this time, as if he’d suddenly realized too, that with him sitting on his desktop and Myungsoo leaning over him like that it’d been rather suggestive and Myungsoo snorted silently at the blush that crept up Sunggyu’s face.

“Th-thanks, I’ll go take a shower now.” Sunggyu said and quickly hopped off the table, practically ran towards his bathroom, but he stopped and turned around before that, he opened his mouth to say something but Myungsoo was the one to shake his head this time and wave his hand, “I left Hoya alone for too long, I need to go back to work.” He excused himself and walked out, saving the both of them from this awkward and suddenly tense atmosphere.

It wasn’t the first time, that Myungsoo turned self-conscious and too aware of Sunggyu’s presence, but he did a good job at making it happen less and less for a long time. Besides, Sunggyu didn’t want it, was that what he said when Myungsoo kissed him that one time?

“I don’t want it.”

Myungsoo thought he forgot that moment, but looked like he can’t really forget Sunggyu’s voice or the way he just coldly rejected him. Or was it because it was his first time falling first and getting rejected? It happened two months ago, even though it felt like it just happened yesterday at times.

In a way, Myungsoo knew how Woohyun felt, wanting to do something for someone you care for, but knowing you can’t do shit but just sit still and watch. Sunggyu was good at it too, pushing away when he didn’t want people to come closer, so this—what just happened, it was a small victory for Myungsoo—a really tiny victory.

it all makes sense to me

doobb — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 21:09:50 GMT

title: it all makes sense to me
author: me
pairing: myungsoo/sunggyu; mentioned!myungsoo/hoya
rating: pg
genre: romance
summary: because there's nothing like being in love.
disclaimer: i just own the story.
a/n: i felt like writing this ah~

it all makes sense to me

your hands in mine;

There’s a light nervous itch against Myungsoo’s palms, so he fists them and clench them tightly, unclench them and licks his bottom lip feeling like turning back on his heels and running away. But this is his only chance to make it right, so he’s not going to run away.

He waits and waits and checks his watch after some minutes, ten minutes went by and Sunggyu is still not there. But he promised to wait, so he sits on the side of the road, not caring about how inappropriate it must be and how it will dirty his jeans. But they’re black and he’s glad once again for how his whole closet is comprised of black clothes.

He scratches the back of his ears, hands shaking, he holds them tightly and stretches his arm looking up at the sky, the sun is settling down, at least the rosy light that covers it makes it look like it. It blends in a soft orange and brown and yellow so bright Myungsoo is surprised when it’s suddenly dark.

He nearly jolts upright but then stops himself and blinks up at Sunggyu, standing over him then leaning over and covering the sun. But Myungsoo doesn’t think he needs the sun, not with Sunggyu smiling, as cheesy as it sounds and he wants to blame Woohyun for all those lines he shouted at him while he was running out of the apartment to his date.

But the truth is, it’s true, no matter how scary words sometimes are, they fit right there, don’t they? Like how Sunggyu smiles and Myungsoo thinks, why was I even nervous? He’s right there and so reachable he holds a hand and cups it against Sunggyu’s cheek, it instantly warms up against his palm.

“Sorry,” Sunggyu says, closes his eyes and forms a little pout with his mouth then tilts his head like he’s about to snuggles his cheek against Myungsoo’s hand but he seems to realize that and lets out a “Oh, hum, sorry I’m late.” He says quickly and Myungsoo misses the warmth before Sunggyu even straightens out of reach.

He shakes his head and stands up from the ground, rubs off the dust on the back of his jeans and hides his hands in his back pockets out of nervous habits, he also bites his lip when Sunggyu’s face remains lightly flush then he shakes his head and Myungsoo reads him so openly he wonders why it took him so long to gather the courage to ask him out already.

“Let’s go?” Sunggyu says and Myungsoo nods and they start walking to their destination.

“Where are we going?” Sunggyu asks and Myungsoo blinks, oh yeah, he even forgot he had a destination. He moves a bit closer to Sunggyu’s side to let a woman and her little girl pass by and looks down at her with a smile she returns shyly then quickly turns her had back in front of her, flushing bright red.

“Myungsoo,” Sunggyu says and tilts his head to look at where he’d been smiling, “Are you flirting with little girls now?” Sunggyu asks with an arched eyebrow, looking dead serious until Myungsoo gives him a surprised look and he laughs, “Can’t help it if even little girls seem to like you, hm.”

Myungsoo smiles and shrugs, taking his hands out of his pockets even though he feels less nervous with them tucked somewhere, “We’re going to watch a movie.” He says after awhile and Sunggyu nods smiling then looks back at him and opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something but then he quickly shakes his head.

“What is it?” Myungsoo asks because he caught the gesture and Sunggyu shakes his head even more but he’s fidgeting and then Myungsoo notices how his right side is warmer and he smiles and edges closer, his smile growing bigger when Sunggyu steps aside.

“What is it?” Myungsoo asks again, with a softer voice, eyes softening when Sunggyu looks at him then sighs and does it so quickly it started Myungsoo at first but then he looks down and feels Sunggyu’s hand tighten around his. When he looks up it seems Sunggyu is still a bit flustered but more confident because he smiles when their eyes meet.

Myungsoo is the one taken aback and a comfortable silence fills the simple walk to the movies. “What movie is it?” Sunggyu asks after awhile, Myungsoo slides his fingers in between Sunggyu’s space and sighs.

fits so perfectly;

lean onto me and trust me;

Sunggyu says “I think Hoya is mad at me.” And Myungsoo thinks, of course, but he only says, “Why?” though and Sunggyu shrugs and turns the spoon in his coffee before setting it down and holding the mug up to take a sip. Myungsoo can smell the aroma of the black coffee tingle his nose and he scrunches it lightly then frowns at Sunggyu just looking down inside of his cup.

“Nothing.” He replies then and looks up with a tight smile, he shakes his head too and drinks before Myungsoo can ask him anything else. He wants to ask what this nothing is, because it doesn’t sound like nothing but Sunggyu quickly changes the topic.

“How was work?” He asks and Myungsoo stops a sigh from escaping his mouth, it’s not like he does an interesting job, it’s obvious Sunggyu is trying to change the topic. But he gives in and nods and the conversation ends up never coming back to Hoya’s’s reason for being mad at him.

Myungsoo holds his phone against his ear with Sunggyu’s voice at the other line, “Working,” He says softly then adds, “Wait.” And Myungsoo hears footsteps running and then nothing for awhile, but it doesn’t take too long before Sunggyu’s voice is back. “Don’t remind me I said that, but I really, really miss you.”

Myungsoo chuckles softly, still feeling sleepy he looks at the chicken shaped alarm clock on his table and sighs trying to wake up. Oh yeah, he thinks as he remembers why he woke up to Sunggyu’s voice in the phone instead of next to him like it was lately.

He’s on a business trip somewhere around England, or is it in England?

“Myungsoo?” Sunggyu says and sighs, “Are you sleeping? I know it’s late, but you’ve got work in two hours and this is the only time we can talk, so wake up, wake up!” Myungsoo tries, he really tries but his eyes falls close again and he hears Sunggyu’s voice trails off.

“So you’re sleeping.” Sunggyu says softly, then nothing on the line for awhile and as Myungsoo is slowly slipping even further away with Sunggyu’s voice still in the back of his mind, Sunggyu laughs softly, “I don’t know why I don’t want to tell you this, it’s not that it hurts.” Sunggyu sighs, it could be a dream Myungsoo thinks with a drowsy mind.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Hoya said these things and—” Sunggyu sighs heavily, “Ah, never mind you heavy sleeper, we’ll talk later, sleep well.” He adds but doesn’t hang up, Myungsoo feels like waking up then and urging Sunggyu to say more, talk more but he falls asleep then.

Myungsoo leans against a bench, spots Sunggyu before he even spots him and waits for him to look up and see him, there isn’t that many people there, just Woohyun who came by with Hoya too and Myungsoo can’t help it, giving the cold shoulder to Hoya. But knowing he’s making Sunggyu worry and doubt about even the slightest thing makes him want to grab him by the collar and ask him what right he has to meddle with what isn’t any of his business.

Maybe that’s why Woohyun came.

But Sunggyu is there and when he sees Hoya his face drops a little but Myungsoo steps in forward and Sunggyu’s eyes catches him and they soften, his face relaxes until they’re standing close enough for Myungsoo to reach both arms and wrap them around Sunggyu.

He also presses his cheek against Sunggyu’s, “Welcome home.” He says and Sunggyu laughs softly, it tickles Myungsoo’s neck, “Thanks, I’m glad to be back.” Sunggyu only slides an arm around him and presses his hand tightly against Myungsoo’s back and buries his face against his shoulder.

“I missed you.” It’s Myungsoo’s voice and Sunggyu seems taken aback because he pulls back to look at Myungsoo’s face, like he’s not sure he’s heard it right. “Really?” Sunggyu asks and it surprises Myungsoo that he’s surprised, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh,” Sunggyu flushes lightly and shakes his head, “Nothing.” He laughs it off nervously and glances back at Woohyun who waves at him and Sunggyu gives him a small nod, then at Hoya who just nods at him and Sunggyu does the same slowly then he reaches for Myungsoo’s hand.

“Nothing, let’s go, I’m tired.” He says softly and leans his head against Myungsoo’s shoulder while they walk back to the other two, Woohyun rushes to them and grabs Sunggyu’s luggage, “Give me that, we’ll put it in the car for you.”

“You don’t have to.” Sunggyu protests lightly but Myungsoo makes him let go of the handle and Woohyun takes it, “I could have taken care of that.”

“I know,” Myungsoo presses his nose in Sunggyu’s hair and sighs.

“What did Hoya say to you?” Myungsoo says as soon as he’s sure he can talk about it again the next day after Sunggyu came back. He’s been watching him sleep, heads against the pillow, glad it smells of Sunggyu again, glad his side is warmed with Sunggyu’s body heat against his, he rolls on his side until he’s properly facing Sunggyu.

“What did he say? Tell me.” He repeats softly and Sunggyu blinks softly still a bit sleepy, he hides a yawn against the pillow and look back at Myungsoo.

“Said to not trust you.” Sunggyu says, voice hoarse then clears his throat and buries his face in his pillow, “Said you can’t keep a relationship for too long and I should be careful.” He mumbles but Myungsoo catches all of it.

“That’s it?” He asks and Sunggyu snaps his head out of the pillow, seemingly surprised by Myungsoo’s only question, “Yeah.” He nods and Myungsoo sighs like he can’t believe this then reaches and ruffles Sunggyu’s hair. “Yah,” Sunggyu says and catches his wrist, “Don’t act like you’re the older one here.”

“But it looks like that’s how it is.” Myungsoo says and pushes Sunggyu’s grip off his wrist to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Yah,” Sunggyu protests again and slaps his hand away, Myungsoo’s fingers move to his cheek and he pinches it too, pulls at it, laughing softly when Sunggyu grabs hold of it to pull away too.

“Stop that.” He glares right at Myungsoo but it falls off his face as soon as Myungsoo suddenly inches closer and kisses him, so softly it doesn’t feel like it’s real for a moment until his fingers relax around Myungsoo’s wrist and he leans in, wrapping a leg over Myungsoo’s legs and pulling him closer.

“I love you,” Myungsoo says against Sunggyu’s mouth, a barely audible whisper, but it’s the only sound in the silent room and Sunggyu’s eyes close tightly his cheeks heating up and he just nods.

But it seems enough because Myungsoo laughs and gathers him in his arms, arms tight around him and Sunggyu’s face warmly pressed against his shoulder.

because i’m in love;

it’s you;

Myungsoo sighs and presses the phone against his ear, he doesn’t want to even listen to Hoya’s voice, but he feels like he has to make some things clear between them. Because he knows Hoya might have a reason to doubt him, what with them having a one night stand and him meeting Sunggyu the next morning.

Is it bitterness? He’s not sure, but he doesn’t appreciate Hoya bringing his past into this. He’s never been straight on the line when it comes to relationship, he doesn’t even remember the last serious relationship he had. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for him at first to gather enough courage to face Sunggyu and realize that this was different, this is different.

“Can you not tell Sunggyu useless things that make him worry?” Myungsoo says as soon as Hoya says ‘Hello,’ he doesn’t beat around the bush and there’s a small silence then Hoya laughing bitterly and then Myungsoo hears him swallow.

“They’re not useless.” Hoya retorts.

“It’s not like you and I we were ever a thing.” Myungsoo goes on like he hasn’t heard Hoya’s answer, “It happened a night, that’s it and Woohyun told me not to, I don’t know why I didn’t even listen to him.” He goes on, voice still soft as ever, because he’s not that angry at Hoya, but at the fact that Sunggyu’s been worried over this, it’s not even important and he knows Sunggyu, he worries about anything even the slightest useless thing.

“It’s useless if it has nothing to do with how I feel right now.” He adds since Hoya doesn’t say anything else, “If you’re not going to at least support your childhood friend, try not to make him unhappy.” He finishes and tries to hang up but just then Hoya speaks up.

“I see,” He says and then another silence, but Myungsoo waits because it seems Hoya will say more and he does, “There’s also something like love in you, but it’s not for me.” Myungsoo swallows, fidgets nervously and sighs, “Sorry.” He says but Hoya is quick to reject his apology.

“It’s my fault.” Hoya hangs up then and Myungsoo stares at his phone for awhile. He doesn’t want to imagine if the things he’d just say were said to him by Sunggyu, it must hurt, to feel lonely. He knows the feeling, longing for something you know you can’t have.

As if to remind him that it’s not like that anymore he turns and sees Sunggyu leaning against the kitchen door’s and giving him a disapproving stare.

“You heard that?” Myungsoo asks and Sunggyu nods, arms crossed over his chest, “I had to.” Myungsoo adds, turns his gaze back at the phone.

He hears Sunggyu’s footsteps and looks back at him walking towards him and then stopping and hopping on the kitchen counter. “I’ll talk to him, we’ve been friends since we were kids after all, we’ll be fine.” Sunggyu says and reaches a hand Myungsoo hold before it touches his face.

He moves his chair right in front of Sunggyu who grins and places his feet against the back of it, trapping Myungsoo’s right there, between his legs. Myungsoo leans back his chair and lets his eyes slide from Sunggyu’s eyes smiling at him down to his nose lightly scrunched and his mouth close around his smile to his chin, and that little hickey healing just under his chin.

Myungsoo smiles and Sunggyu brings a hand to where his eyes are at, cheeks coloring lightly, he also close his eyes when Myungsoo’s eyes move lower and fall on one of his black plaid shirt that Sunggyu has criticized so often but is still wearing right now.

Myungsoo reaches out then and pulls Sunggyu down on his lap and holds his face, kisses the tip of his nose, smiling when Sunggyu keeps his eyes open and on him as he does so. Myungsoo’s fingers busy themselves with the buttons of his shirt, easy to open and Sunggyu stops him with his fingers tight around his wrists.

It’s not like this is their first time, but even Myungsoo has to be honest, he’s nervous as if it was their first date again. The more he keeps looking at Sunggyu and how he seems to be confused about his sudden embarrassment and how he ducks his head and his bangs fall over his face, the more nervous he feels.

Myungsoo feels trapped, with his heart pounding against his chest and his mouth burning against Sunggyu’s cheek, like when he’d done it for the first time during the movie, down to the corner of his mouth. He frees one of his hands at the same time and lifts Sunggyu’s chin up, he breathes against Sunggyu’s lips before kissing him and breathes in Sunggyu’s warmth when he opens his mouth against Myungsoo’s.

“Myungsoo?” Sunggyu gasps softly in the kiss, “Hm?” Myungsoo’s mouths against his neck, teeth sinking in against the previous mark he’d left. “I love you too.”

i’m in love with you.

bitch, check my profile.

doobb — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 03:01:48 GMT

title: bitch, check my profile
author: doobb
pairing: sunggyu/everyone, sunggyu/dongwoo
genre: romance, bit of angst. (ithink)
rating: R
summary: sunggyu lost a bet to woohyun, first worse mistake ever, then he had to give him a blow job, second worse mistake.
disclaimer: I just own the story, not the characters.
a/n: i am sorry. i really loved the idea and wrote it, i am so sorry. but hahahaha. title has nothing to do with the story, kinda.

Bitch, check my profile
perfect, but you're not

before they fade

doobb — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:02:24 GMT

title: before they fade
author: doobb
pairing: sunggyu/myungsoo, mentioned!sunggyu/woohyun
genre: romance, bit of angst. (iguess)
rating:pg-13
summary: they're building memories so that when sunggyu forgets them, myungsoo can remind him.
disclaimer: I just own the story, not the characters.
a/n: just an idea i wanted to write out and because aiden grimshaw inspires me, a lot.

Hold on to your stars before they fade
Before they fade, they fade – Aiden Grimshaw “Hold on”

Don’t get so full of yourself, even if it’s true that I’m missing you right now.

Hum, I picked something—while going to work, so, you might have to go home before me.

You’ll see when you come, I just wanted to let you know, okay, I’ll hang up now, still got a lot of customers to tend to and yeah, bye, hurry, so I can at least give you a kiss before you leave and grope you and—

Ignite the fire the fear and crash into the light
It hurts but it’s worth it, it hurts but it’s worth it – Aiden Grimshaw “What we’re gonna be”

because it's you

doobb — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 01:40:01 GMT

title: because it's you
author: doobb
pairing: sunggyu/myungsoo
genre: romance (iguess)
rating:pg
summary: this is why sunggyu doesn't like helping others, it never ends well.
disclaimer: I just own the story, not the characters.
a/n: I just wanted some myunggyu.

They fall asleep one day in the same bed, Myungsoo wakes up the next morning, ignore, totally discards how close they ended up being, tangled while searching for warmth and admits he’s never slept that well since last week and that’s how it kinds of starts.

Sunggyu decides to call it a mission, but it’s actually not a mission, just the ‘how to get Myungsoo tired enough to fall asleep in just some minutes after his body meets the bed.’ So Sunggyu says, he will help, and Myungsoo shrugs, why not, it’s not going to kill to try right?

He needs sleep anyways, he’s got schedules to attend and if he doesn’t rest enough he’s going to end up like Sunggyu as in having to take lots of medicines to keep up with his body and when he says that to Sunggyu, he laughs at the smack on the back of his head.

(“that hurts”, Myungsoo whines, so Sunggyu rubs it after like he would do with Woohyun, except this is not Woohyun, this is Myungsoo and when he realizes that he finds Myungsoo’s hair really soft, and starts wanting to play with it, he quickly withdraws his hand and looks away to hide the flush rising on his face).

“So do I get to come to your room tonight?” Myungsoo looks up from his phone and Sunggyu startles, mouth wide open, “Eh?”

“For the mission.” Myungsoo explains, Sunggyu still looks confused, “Hyung! You’re the one who called it that way, for helping me sleep, remember? Are you okay?”

Then Sunggyu feels like smacking himself but instead he nods, beams in understanding and feels like pinching himself but all he does is break out a series of “oh” sounds until he hears Myungsoo laugh at him and he’s not sure if he should be offended or not but he sighs because all he feels like doing is laugh along with Myungsoo.

“Don’t laugh at me, I was thinking about something.”

They’re sitting on the couch, legs facing each other so Myungsoo nudges him with a foot, “Are you okay? It’s alright if you don’t want to help, I’m a big boy I can find a solution by myself.”

“Nah, I’ll help, it’s more interesting to overcome a problem with someone right?” Sunggyu locks Myungsoo’s foot with his ankles and plays with it, swinging it up and down, he thinks it’s fine, it’s just Myungsoo and pushes his earlier reaction to Myungsoo’s hair in the back of his mind as normal reaction that he’d have with just anyone.

But ignoring it doesn’t mean it disappears.

Myungsoo appears at the door of his room, holding a towel on his head and Sunggyu looks up from his book with a smile matching Myungsoo’s small one as he shuffles his way towards the bed.

“Does Woohyun hyung know about this?”

“Talked to him, he’ll share with Sungyeol.” Sunggyu answers as Myungsoo settles on Woohyun’s bed and removes the towel from his head, his hair is still damp, probably from a shower, totally from a shower, Sunggyu stares and nods to himself.

“What were you reading?” Myungsoo reaches for the book and Sunggyu shows him the cover, “English dictionary?” Myungsoo laughs as soon as he reads it and Sunggyu sighs at him, “There’s nothing funny, this shit is so hard to learn!”

“Why are you reading it then?”

“I was bored.” Sunggyu answers quickly, even a bit too fast and regrets it because it could show that it’s not the entire truth, it’s because he was trying to get his mind off the fact that he is nervous about this. They’ve talked about this mission thingy and during the whole day he’s been shifting, squirming, restless because that means sleeping in the same bed again.

(Or not? Or did they agree on something else? He doesn’t know, he really doesn’t get why this is bothering him so much—actually no, bothering is not the word, not really, maybe unsettling him? Yeah, more like it, it’s just Myungsoo for god sake.)

“Sunggyu hyung?”

Sunggyu blinks back at Myungsoo’s voice, notices he’s already settled on the bed, “So when do I get to use you as my pillow?” He asks, a grin on his face that just barely stretches his face into an amused expression at Sunggyu’s sudden nervousness.

Then Sunggyu remembers why even if it’s just Myungsoo he’s getting so flustered, it’s because the morning before he actually looked at Myungsoo and thought that he hadn’t noticed little details on his face, like the bridge of his nose being so straight and his lips not being as full as Woohyun’s but not as thin as his.

And that while Myungsoo was sleeping and he woke up before him, he’d been staring and caught staring and Myungsoo hadn’t even pointed out how close Sunggyu was to his face. Like—like, no he can’t say it, if he says it, it’s going to be true, if it’s true it’s going to, ugh—Sunggyu wants to shoot his brain honestly.

“You,” Sunggyu clears his throat, realizing why a flashback of Myungsoo’s sleeping face is invading his mind as he looks down to see Myungsoo staring up at him, so close Sunggyu thinks he can feel his breath on his face and he has to hold his own, as if scared their breath could get mixed.

“Let’s just sleep.” He mumbles and is baffled by the lack of words Myungsoo keeps bringing to his mouth, he’d have a lot to say usually to that remark, Myungsoo obviously thinks so too, but shrugs after Sunggyu slides under the covers and follows.

“Wait, I’ll be back.” Myungsoo says before sliding next to Sunggyu though and rushes to turn the lights off, then he has to find his way back to Sunggyu’s bed. Which results in a lot of bumping noises and Myungsoo wincing while Sunggyu laughs and sits in the bed, the dark giving him a type of control over the situation.

If he can’t see Myungsoo’s face, he can’t think about how he wants to trace down the lines of it, from his eyebrows to his chin.

“Do you need help?” He asks, pushing the blankets off him and already trying to find his way through the dark and he hears Myungsoo sighing and feels a hand when he’s close to him, Sunggyu holds it and then the other hand reaches for him and he holds it too, then he’s guiding Myungsoo back to the bed.

And it’s a bit hilarious, a bit nerve wrecking, because his palms feel like they are sweating but they’re in the middle of autumn, it can’t be that hot all of a sudden, he wants to let go of Myungsoo’s hands, but instead Myungsoo squeezes. “I feel like a blind man.” He laughs behind Sunggyu who laughs along.

The way back to the bed feels like an eternity when it just takes them four steps or five to get there and Sunggyu pushes Myungsoo forward so eh can let go of his hands, because he’s sure Myungsoo can feel them shaking by now. Sunggyu hopes he can’t hear his heart beating like he’s just ran the hardest marathon in the world.

Myungsoo slides in the bed first this time, and pushes against the wall for Sunggyu to have space to slide in too. It falls silent then, Sunggyu finds it awkward all of a sudden, he listens to Myungsoo shifts, rolls and makes Sunggyu wonders what position he’s settled in.

He’s answered with a hand blindly tapping and clutching at his shirt then tugging, “Closer hyung.” Myungsoo says softly, so softly Sunggyu thinks he’s realizing how hard it is when they are both conscious. He wonders if he shouldn’t chicken out and tell him to wait until Sunggyu falls asleep before using him as a human pillow but Myungsoo tugs on his shirt again and he gives in, swallows silently and gets closer, and closer until he’s sure he’s breathing against Myungsoo’s face because Myungsoo’s breath is tickling his chin.

“I think it’s because you’re warm.” Myungsoo’s voice breathes against his skin, arouses a few shivers Sunggyu hopes weren’t too obvious, he can’t find it in himself to relax, but he should, because being so stiff will give it away. But Myungsoo doesn’t even seem bothered, instead he slides an arm around Sunggyu and presses so close Sunggyu can feel their legs also trying to settle in a comfortable position.

(Myungsoo ends up throwing and wrapping a leg over Sunggyu's)

“What is?” Sunggyu’s voice fills in the room, too loud compared to Myungsoo’s soft breathing, “You, that I could sleep when I was hugging you yesterday, I think it’s because you’re warm.”

Sunggyu’s laugh gets caught in his throat and he clears it softly, his hand is suddenly occupied by Myungsoo’s head on it and the weight should bother him, but he’s got more important matters than worrying about it turning numb after awhile.

“Then you can just get a teddy bear, they’re warm and cuddly too.”

“I never said you were cuddly.” Sunggyu swears he can hear a smile in Myungsoo’s voice and it shouldn’t bother him as much as it does, but it does, he doesn’t even know why it does.

(Actually he does know why, it’s because he wants to see it, but it’s too dark and he’s imagining it, and he hates the fact that he can imagine it and see it clearly without the need of lights to remind him of what Myungsoo’s smile looks like.)

“You should sleep.” Sunggyu is surprised by how calm his voice sounds.

“I should.” Myungsoo agrees, moves his head closer and Sunggyu’s arm squirms so he can get comfortable. It should feel weird, it should feel out of place, he isn’t really one for those type of things, but Myungsoo isn’t too warm, isn’t big and not the type of Woohyun clingy with all his body but the type that squeezes tightly and softly and makes you want to squeeze back.

So it’s not his fault, if he waits until he can feel Myungsoo’s breath steady against his arm before cautiously lifting his hand that had been resting by his side, too scared to reach and slide around Myungsoo, now reaching and knowing where Myungsoo’s face was and brushing his fingers against his cheek.

But he doesn’t rest his fingers against Myungsoo’s cheek, barely touches it, and kinds of hates himself for the little smile that appears on his face and he can’t fight away then his fingers touches something damp and it’s Myungsoo’s hair, he knows it by just brushing past it.

It’s probably not a good idea to sleep with his hair not totally dry, Sunggyu thinks and sighs softly, yawns quietly, smiles and closes his eyes.

Sunggyu wakes up to a pressure against his hip, then it flutters against his skin, tapping patterns while slipping under his shirt and it tickles him softly so he squirms and tries to get away from it, but it persists, higher and more ticklish and he chokes on a laugh when he opens his eyes to see what is troubling him.

“Stop that.” He mumbles and the movement stops, by now he’s putting his memories back together to see what is going on. He doesn’t even need to totally open his eyes and look at Myungsoo’s smirk to remember it all and he’s ready to argue about waking him up, but it’s Myungsoo’s eyes that suddenly grow wide, then something flickers across his eyes and Sunggyu barely catches it before it’s gone.

Because it’s Myungsoo of course, and he knows how to hide his emotions, he would know, Sunggyu thinks bitterly, his skin still tingling after Myungsoo’s hand quickly withdraws itself and he scatters away like Sunggyu had been the one doing weird things to his body.

“What?” Sunggyu asks to a Myungsoo quickly getting off the bed and brushing away invisible dust off his sides. He’s never seen Myungsoo that nervous, if that’s what it is at least, Sunggyu thinks rubbing his sleepy eyes and rolling on his stomach to look at Myungsoo standing over him with a frown still perfectly there.

It’s really striking, how even with a frown; he still manages to look good, really unfair. Sunggyu scrunches his nose and closes his eyes for just a second. Honestly, it was just a second, he’s sure of it, and that’s all it takes for him to blink them back open and have Myungsoo’s face too close, nose touching his own and leaning in.

How he got to lean in without Sunggyu noticing, he doesn’t want to know, that’s not really important. What’s important is that Sunggyu is sure he’s going to do it, whatever it is—kiss him, is he going to—it’s so close.

Sunggyu starts to close his eyes and inhales Myungsoo’s breath, and it doesn’t smell good, not at all but what stops the moment is not that, it’s the door of the room slamming open and Woohyun’s voice echoing through the room that has Myungsoo jolting up and rushing to the door.

“Wake up guys it’s—” Woohyun stops and watches Myungsoo quickly walk past him without a word, not that unusual then he looks back at Sunggyu who blinks quickly and burrows his face in his pillow.

“What just happened?” He asks at Sunggyu who shakes his head, refuses to look up and grabs the other pillow, still warm from Myungsoo’s presence—or his arm and Myungsoo’s presence—and throws it at Woohyun’s face.

“Get lost!”

Sunggyu apologizes to Woohyun during breakfast, and sticks to Woohyun all day long, clings to Woohyun so he can make sure to show that this is a normal thing he does with everyone.

Before their interview, while waiting for the cameras to be ready, he takes a seat next to Woohyun, starts ruffling Woohyun’s hair and admits that it’s soft, as soft as Myungsoo, but Myungsoo’s softer, Myungsoo’s makes him want to let his fingers linger for a moment longer, Myungsoo is right behind Woohyun and Sunggyu glances up.

They haven’t said a word to each other since this morning, and Sunggyu has been doing all he could to avoid being alone with Myungsoo in any kind of way, and he feels kind of guilty, but Myungsoo too has been avoiding him. At least he’s sure it isn’t a one sided feeling to stay away from each other and it shouldn’t tighten his chest that it’s the case but it does.

It shouldn’t also gets him so flustered that he accidentally grabs Woohyun’s hair too hard until Woohyun winces and pushes his hand away with a whiny, “Hyung, that hurts.” When he catches Myungsoo looking at him, but it does and he quickly lets go, apologizes once, twice or more than four times before staring right in front of him and playing with his fingers on his lap.

He doesn’t like this sudden uneasiness that settles down in his body and even Woohyun’s presence and sudden worry that he shows by frowning and poking his arm and asking “Hyung, are you okay?” just manage to make Sunggyu more nervous, because he can’t look at Woohyun and tell him that he’s okay, that’d make him want to take a look at Myungsoo too, and just no.

Before the interview even starts, he knows this is not going to be good.

It didn’t go as bad as he thought it would, even if he lost conversations a few times, did all he could so he couldn’t stand next to Myungsoo (which was suspicious at one point to most of the members, but he just didn’t care at that point, anything to get this unnerving feeling away).

He managed to avoid any type of awkward contact between him and Myungsoo until the end of the interview where they went to get their seat back after performing for awhile and he found himself sitting next to Myungsoo. Sunggyu can only thinks that this is God’s way of showing him that you can’t have everything you want, and you can’t always make things go the way you want them even if you want to.

The remaining of the interview finds him a bit startled when he’s asked questions, fidgeting when Myungsoo moves and their thighs brushes together, quickly withdrawing while clearing his throat and swearing he will get Woohyun back for this even if he isn’t aware of what he’s done by giving his place to Myungsoo.

He hears Myungsoo laugh a few times when he’s caught off-guard and has to stutter before giving an answer, but what really makes him think “that’s it, I can’t stand this anymore.” And nearly makes him stand up from his chair and run out of the interview room is when out of nowhere he feels a weight on his shoulder and there Myungsoo’s head is resting there, with a fucking smile on his face when Sunggyu looks down.

And just—it’s a good thing Myungsoo is known for loving skinship because this is fucking weird, doing this in the middle of an interview is even more fucking weird, but doing this on Sunggyu is probably the weirdest thing and all the members will ask about this later and Sunggyu will have more of a reason to kill Myungsoo in the most painful way ever.

This is what he gets for trying to help in anyway in the first place.

“Hyung can we talk?” Myungsoo asks, grabs Sunggyu’s wrist and he gently tugs it away, “No.”

“Why?” Myungsoo’s grip is surprisingly strong and Sunggyu stops struggling to turn around and sigh with a frown, “Because I’m avoiding you.” He blurts out just because there’s no use in lying, he’s pretty sure Myungsoo knows it by now, and he’s pretty sure Myungsoo knows why.

“Why?”

Sunggyu frowns and blinks away from Myungsoo, down to his feet, glad none of the members are here right now. But not glad at the same time, because they ditched him on purpose, they might think he doesn’t know, but he heard Myungsoo ask them to let them have a talk alone and damn it, they just had to agree, they will all pay for this, all of them.

“Because.” He shrugs then feigns an annoyed sigh (or maybe he is really annoyed by this) “Just let me go,” He says and pulls on his wrist again but Myungsoo shrugs the same way he did, “I will when you tell me why you are avoiding me.”

“That didn’t seem to matter to you a week ago.” Because yes, this little game has been going on for a week and Sunggyu isn’t fond of breaking promises but every time Myungsoo asked if he could still help with his sleeping habits, he had to create a lie to get out of it and it made him end up sleeping in the living room once.

Okay, so maybe he felt bad once—when one time he woke up and found Myungsoo sitting by the couch with his head resting on his folded arms—and he felt so bad he just covered him with the blanket he had on and hurriedly went out of the dorm for the whole day.

“That’s because I didn’t think it would last for this long!”

“I didn’t think it would last for this long either!” Sunggyu retorts back, because he honestly thought this—whatever this was—it was going to leave after a few days, but no, it’s stuck and he can feel it against his wrist where Myungsoo’s grip is tightening and it’s making Sunggyu’s face warm to the point where he’s sure he’s going to catch a fever at this rate.

“At least keep your fucking promises and stop making stupid lies.”

This time, Sunggyu looks up and looks at Myungsoo, realizes he hasn’t done so in awhile and maybe he’s missed this, how his eyes can take in every single detail on Myungsoo’s face. How people say he doesn’t have any expression but Sunggyu thinks Myungsoo’s eyes say more than his face could ever tell and there’s this pang of guilt that tightens his chest when all he can read in Myungsoo’s eyes is hurt.

Sunggyu wants to apologize, wants to say he didn’t mean to hurt Myungsoo or break his promises, he really wants him to get a better sleeping habit because he can also see bags under his eyes and he doesn’t like seeing any of the members so worn out, he doesn’t like seeing Myungsoo so worn out.

But he can’t say the words, and he hates himself for once for being such a coward when it comes to this type of things, but he can’t fucking say a thing and Myungsoo looks down this time, Sunggyu keeps his eyes on his lowered head, on the sight of Myungsoo’s bottom lip quietly tucked under his teeth before he starts to slowly let go of Sunggyu’s hand and hides his own in his jacket’s pockets.

“Okay, okay, fine, be that way.”

And Sunggyu thinks he should stop Myungsoo from walking past him and going in his room, probably or just walking away, like this is going to lead nowhere good if he doesn’t stop Myungsoo, but he can’t bring his legs to move so he stands there, frustrated, until he hears the slamming of a door and then he kicks off the perfectly placed shoes at the door for once and ruffles his hair roughly and knows how stupid he is so he crouches and furiously starts putting them back in orders.

(He gives up after awhile though and tosses them away again then sits and instead of pulling his hair out, texts Dongwoo and Sungyeol and asks them if they can sleep in another room just for tonight.)

Sunggyu isn’t sure about this idea anymore; maybe he should just give up on it. But Sungyeol is already sleeping on his bed and Dongwoo has the couch and just he hasn’t seen Myungsoo come out of his room all day, so maybe he’s really mad. But he doesn’t think running away from this is the best option anymore.

Myungsoo has the right to be mad though—what if he tells Sunggyu to go fuck off? Or worse what if he ignores him? Ugh, this isn’t a good idea, Sunggyu thinks again and starts walking back but stops and sighs and clutches the blanket against his chest then returns on his steps and opens the door of the room without knocking.

The lights are on, but there’s no sign of Myungsoo. He would have walked back if not for the sound of the shower he hears and this might be help from God either telling him to go fuck off before he humiliates himself to death, or giving him some time to get used to the idea of having to kind of—beg for forgiveness after being a—kind of big dick to someone he—kinds of has a crush on.

Sunggyu let himself fall on Myungsoo’s bed and it’s soft and it smells of Myungsoo’s shampoo so he doesn’t hesitate to bury his face against the pillow and sigh against it and close his eyes and accept that it’s different with Myungsoo. Obviously, he likes all the other members too, obviously he’s closer to Woohyun than any of them and he holds a dear place for all of them even if sometimes he feels like dumping them in an empty desert.

But let’s face it, it’s not the same when it comes to Myungsoo and he doesn’t understand how it changed, when it changed, why it changed, but it did and he should face it like a man, that’s right.

So like a man with a burning face still hidden in the pillows he’s going to stay there until Myungsoo comes out of the shower and face humiliation and tell him he likes him, also tell him that he’s sorry. Sunggyu buries his face deeper in the pillow—also maybe kiss him.

Kissing him would be nice, warm soft and nice, Sunggyu can’t help but smile and groan at the same time because he feels stupid and gross and just stupid and a bit tired.

(Sunggyu falls asleep after imagining many ways of telling him what he’s doing there in his room, he would fall asleep at this time of all time, is all he thinks when after the fifth yawn he knows he’s going to be gone soon.)

Sunggyu feels warm, he fell asleep warmed by Myungsoo’s bed too, but this is a different type of warmth, softer almost tender and he sighs and burrows deeper against it, it spreads evenly around his body and he knows it’s not just a cover before he even hears Myungsoo’s voice or even slowly starts blinking his eyes open.

“Sorry.” Myungsoo says when Sunggyu opens his eyes and he pulls on one of his legs with the back of his foot, “Didn’t mean to wake you up.” Sunggyu can feel a finger against his cheek, and an arm under his head and he blinks sleepily, not really remembering all the words he prepared but manages a soft, “It’s fine.” Sleepy and all sluggish like.

But it’s because Myungsoo is incredibly warm and Sunggyu just wants to fall asleep, but he doesn’t want to sleep right now, not before they talk for a bit at least, that’s why he came here, so he’s barely keeping his eyes open on Myungsoo’s face and eyes scrutinizing him as if looking for something, a change, maybe he thinks he’s dreaming, maybe he isn’t sure about Sunggyu being there.

“Is it really?” Probably that he’s still not sure, Sunggyu sighs and nods.

“Sorry too,” Sunggyu yawns and turns his face against Myungsoo’s arm, it must be Myungsoo’s because his arms and hands are between them and he moves one of his hands and pushes it against Myungsoo’s chest, “For avoiding you.”

“That’s fine.” Myungsoo laughs softly.

“No, I’m not done, wait, I’m not sorry for avoiding you, but that it hurt you that I avoided you, yeah, that’s more like it.” Sunggyu nods and then sighs and rolls on his back, before turning his face to look at Myungsoo, “This is complicated you know? And of all people why did I have to grow a crush on you?”

“You’re the one saying that, I should be the one saying that.” Myungsoo retorts and that definitely makes Sunggyu less sleepy and more awake, “Wait, no, I’m the good one, I’m the best party, why would—wait you have a crush on me?”

Then Sunggyu stops talking and looking at Myungsoo, quickly looks away biting down on his bottom lip and totally, absolutely not flushing bright red, absolutely not turning more red when Myungsoo starts laughing next to him and just.

“Ugh, there’s nothing funny.”

“I find this highly amusing hyung, for once that you can’t say anything.”

Sunggyu covers his face with an arm and sighs, alright, fine he’s a total embarrassment when it comes to these kind of things anyways, it’s best to accept it and make the best out of it.

“Whatever.”

Sunggyu breathes out, glances at Myungsoo who stopped laughing, but is still mocking Sunggyu with a grin Sunggyu huffs at and reaches a hand to cover Myungsoo’s mouth. “You’re frustrating.” But Myungsoo’s eyes don’t lose their smile and Sunggyu thinks it’s a shame that it’s so contagious and he ends up smiling and starts laughing too.

“This is stupid.” He says while laughing and rolls on his stomach and then there’s a silence that fills the room with only the sound of the both of them breathing, and Sunggyu’s eyes stay on Myungsoo’s face and how he slowly takes Sunggyu’s hand still on his mouth and “I really like you,” Sunggyu doesn’t think at first that it’s from his mouth that it comes out, but it’s from his mouth and he closes his eyes when he realizes so.

Sunggyu thinks he’s been waiting for this for awhile, it’s not even that long, just some weeks, but it’s still a surprise when Myungsoo’s lips presses against his own and his first reaction is to open his eyes and tighten his fingers around Myungsoo’s hand then open his mouth.

Myungsoo tugs on his hand and Sunggyu moves closer without even hesitating, “I’m tired.” He mumbles against Myungsoo’s mouth, and though they don’t stop kissing, it slows down and Sunggyu’s breath gets caught when Myungsoo licks his bottom lip and smiles against the corner of his mouth.

“Let’s continue this tomorrow, first to wake up gets to pounce on the other.” Sunggyu sighs and snuggles—actually snuggles against Myungsoo contently.

(Not surprisingly Sunggyu wakes up before Myungsoo, but loses the confidence to pounce on him because he stays staring at Myungsoo’s face for far too long and ends up waking Myungsoo when he tries to run out of the bed and gets yanked back on the bed.

“I’ll do the pouncing.” Myungsoo says, starts kissing Sunggyu and ignores his protestations about stinking morning breath.)

.restless

doobb — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 05:14:16 GMT

title: restless
author: me
pairing: doojoon/junhyung
rating: g
warning: mention of character death
genre: angst
summary: Junhyung is always restless when he's in pain, Doojoon makes sure to be there for him.
disclaimer: i just own the story.
a/n: doing this challenge here; a drabble a day; day one .beginning idk man angst. ugh. why do i do this to myself. i am sorry.

.restless

Doojoon is quiet, maybe a bit too quiet for Junhyung’s liking. But he can’t afford to lose control of his emotions or thoughts right now, not with Junhyung doing so. He’s got to be the one standing on both of his legs and not going out of his way to try to understand why things can’t ever be perfect.

He ends up holding Junhyung’s hand when he passes in front of him again and tugging on it until Junhyung sighs and falls next to him on the couch, Doojoon is quick to wrap an arm around Junhyung’s shoulders and pull him to his side.

“You should calm down.” He says, voice calm, smooth and a breath of fresh air against Junhyung’s air. But Doojoon knows, it’s going to take more than that to calm his nerves. More than just a few words, Junhyung needs to let go of his anger, frustration and pain; he’s always been this way.

Pacing back and forth with a million of thoughts in his mind, and this is why Doojoon always tries to take it in, make sure he can be the opposite, make sure he can somehow brings a balance to Junhyung’s emotions. And it works, even if right now, it’s not really easy.

But when Junhyung curls right against his side, and he feels his shoulders shake, he can feel him ready to cry, because after the usual restlessness, Junhyung usually breaks then. And when he does break, and Doojoon knows he hasn’t give in the temptation to start being restless, knows he’s strong enough to wrap both arms around Junhyung and smile softly at his hands holding onto Junhyung’s forearms tightly and his mouth kissing it, tears warmly damp on his skin.

That’s when Doojoon knows, it will always be the right choice to calm Junhyung first, when Junhyung is calmed down, when Junhyung is finally letting it all out, Doojoon can feel it too.

“He’s going to be okay right?” Junhyung turns to look at him and Doojoon nods, he will always reassure Junhyung, no matter what, so he just nods, even though he’s sure Junhyung knows better than anyone else this is the final stage of the disease. It’s already eaten so much of Yoseob.

But he just nods, kisses the rosy tip of Junhyung’s nose, his eyelids closing when Doojoon’s mouth touches them, the tear stain on his cheeks and his quivering lips, then buries his face in Junhyung’s neck and breathes out a soft, “He’ll be fine, he will be fine.”

Junhyung shifts, squirms until he’s on Doojoon’s lap and he sighs and Doojoon thinks he’s falling asleep. But it’s best than having him all worked up about how tomorrow; they are going to shut Yoseob’s life out of this world.

Doojoon tightens his arms around Junhyung, feeling restless, but he keeps a strong hold onto Junhyung, and he knows it’s going to be fine. He mumbles it, repeats it against Junhyung’s hair until he has convinced himself.

.accusation

doobb — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 06:18:43 GMT

title: accusation
author: me
characters: doojoon, junhyung
rating: g
genre: general, sci-fi
summary: He can’t help but try to see if it rubs it in, the fact that he’s not only sold Junhyung, but all the others too, they were friends god damn it.
disclaimer: i just own the story.
a/n: doing this challenge here; a drabble a day; day one .beginning i am not sure if the title fits but eh orz crosses day two~

.accusation

Junhyung runs his fingers on his arm; he’s never felt so self-conscious of it before. It’s cold and it’s smooth, smoother than the skin on his other arm. His fingers flexes with the metallic sound he’s used to hearing by now. He’s lived this way since he was ten, since he lost a part of what god probably gave him.

He looks up at the bars holding him away from his freedom, looks around the empty and dark cellule, looks up at the ceiling, white, contrasting against the lack of lights. He can make out everything in the dark as soon as he blinks and focuses his orbs behind his iris on the lack of lights. It flicks in his mind, behind his closed eyelids in a second and everything is clear again.

He can see everything; it’s kind of stupid to think that locking him up inside a cell is going to stop him from doing anything. If he wants to, he can break those bars, they aren’t really holding him. The only thing stopping him is the reason why he’s here.

If he escapes, it will only prove them right, those who thinks he’s a monster, some basic inhuman creature, who was made just to eradicate what was proper to the human race, a beating heart, a real beating heart and flesh and skin.

For being different, for only having half of their blood running in just half of his body, they call him a monster, they accuse him of the extinction of humanity. If he escapes now, they will be right that he’s just a basic creature with no real thoughts. That he’s too scared to face them.

Junhyung sighs when he hears the sound of keys and the sounds of footsteps nearing his cell. He stands up from the ground, flexes his right leg while the other one just stretches and the same gentle pressure of wires in his knees and ankle makes him frown because it means he needs to change his right ankle.

He’s ready as soon as the door of the cell opens and he blinks quickly, registers the information of the man standing in front of him. Even though he doesn’t need to search in his system to find his identity, he’s seen it everywhere on screen when he was fighting for the rights of humans.

For them to be rid of this new species, cyborgs, filthy and against the law of God were his words.

Yoon Doojoon
23 years old
President of the F.A.C. (Forces Against Cyborgs)

“You look up to your words,” Junhyung says when Doojoon moves on the side to let him walk by, “At least Hyunseung was right about one thing, you know how to choose your battle, don’t you?” He can’t help but try to see if it rubs it in, the fact that he’s not only sold Junhyung, but all the others too, they were friends god damn it. But he just threw them in these cells, with nothing but darkness.

Which is why Junhyung didn’t try to escape, because he knows Hyunseung and Yoseob were also here and he knows they feel the exact same way. If they have to escape, they have to do it right when nobody waits for it, right when Doojoon can stand and look at them fade and slip right through his hands.

‘Four guards, after ten cells, right hall, can count fifty stairs down if you want to skip the elevators, two guards at the elevators.’

Junhyung sends quickly at Hyunseung and Yoseob as he’s guided towards the room where he’s finally, finally going to run away.

.beginning of a fall

doobb — Sat, 04 Aug 2012 18:50:35 GMT

title: beginning of a fall
author: me
pairing: doojoon/junhyung
rating: g
genre: angst
summary: it's scary, how beginnings can also be painful.
disclaimer: i just own the story.
a/n: doing this challenge here; a drabble a day; day one .beginning hum. okei. it feels kind of weird to write them again.

.beginning of a fall

They say—they say finding the one, finding someone so perfect for you that you want to keep them forever in your life is the beginning of happiness. They also say that when you finally make the big step forward, when you finally link both of your lives, move together, fall in love, deeper, and deeper, it means you are beginning a relationship that’s going to be last forever.

But maybe it’s not those people’s faults, definitely not. It’s their own mistakes that brought them here. There aren’t just beginnings of beginnings, there can also be beginnings to endings. They should have warned each other’s, when they started drifting apart.

When Junhyung closed himself, and Doojoon stopped going after him. When they forgot that to be able to stand together, they had to be the support of each other’s. When Junhyung started running away, because it was partly his fault, and Doojoon caught him the first time, held him tightly, wiped his tears and brushed his insecurities away, because Doojoon knows how to make sure Junhyung knows he understands.

The first time was forgotten, then the second one hit out of nowhere. Junhyung trying to keep a hold onto what he knew was slipping out of his fingers—Doojoon not coming back until late in the morning, arguing about what he was doing out, fighting about who he was with, always breaking something, more than just plates, more than just their hearts, more than just bruises on Doojoon’s cheek when Junhyung would lose control of his clenched fists.

And—“If you can’t trust me, then maybe we should stop.”—Doojoon’s voice, echoing through the empty apartment for a week, alone, Junhyung sat, drank, wrote, and wrote until he was drowning in lyrics.

This time too, Doojoon came back, stood at the door when Junhyung opened it and looked down. Junhyung looking so ashamed then, to look at the person he trusted more than anything, with everything that he was, with everything he had—Doojoon coming back when he was the one with stupid insecurities and a past still haunting him.

But Doojoon didn’t even dwell on it, maybe he understood, maybe he did all along but was just too hurt that Junhyung was still caught up in the past. But he just reached shaking hands that Junhyung caught with his fingers before they touched him, head still lowered and then—he kind of cried, a bit too much, cried until he had to bring a hand to his mouth to muffle the sound.

Doojoon held him, pulled on his hands, and held him because Junhyung was breaking pieces after pieces and he wanted to keep them from falling so he kept Junhyung, forgave and even if it wasn’t forgotten even if they knew they’d have a long way to go, Junhyung was grateful, he hadn’t lost it.

—“It’s not supposed to be this way.” Junhyung knows he means it’s not supposed to hurt that much. But they fought—maybe not strong enough—they did all they could to keep it from falling—maybe not enough—they gave all they could—they didn’t give enough.

Maybe they should have stopped at the first time they almost fell, Doojoon shouldn’t have caught him, Doojoon should have let him fall, maybe then he’d be the only one feeling so torn. Maybe it’d hurt less—maybe, maybe.

Doojoon closes the door just as Junhyung looks up to make sure it’s happening and he holds his knees up to his chest, bottom lip shaking in fear of what’s to follow after this sudden empty silence.

—the beginning of a fall.

Well

doobb — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 13:31:54 GMT

I don't know how many of you are going to see it eh
But it's been four months straight since I quit writing and wow.
Just wanted to say, I might be back, not with all of my oldest fics but just back but I'm not sure about it as of now, I'm still a bit scared of the reason why I quit writing to begin with OTL
Also I'm sorry I just left sighs but I needed to, I realized I really needed it and I did it and yeah it's not fair but it was my only choice and I might be ready soon to come back, did you guys even miss me? akjdhsds. I miss writing 2jun the most. sobs.