Leila Matilda Jackson

RP Log with tacticalmind | Hopes Up

doesntwaltz — Wed, 12 May 2010 09:01:45 GMT

[Follows THIS | Backdated to Mothers Day]

Rob tossed his car keys onto the bed and then up-ended the paper bag from the pharmacy he had just arrived back at the Austin home with, tipping out no less than six different pregnancy tests. No two boxes looked alike and he turned to Leila sheepishly. "I didn't know which one to get!" he said, already on the defense of his clearly dorky behaviour. One test they needed, but he ended up coming home with six... and a bag of black jelly beans just because he felt like them. He had stood in the pharmacy for close to an half an hour trying to figure out what one he needed, reading over all the boxes until his head started to spin with potential pregnancy facts. The reading didn't even help in his decision, so he just bought the six most expensive ones, figuring they must be the better options. If he brought them all home, then Leila could figure out which one was the one to go for, but he had to admit, the one with the little screen and not blue lines was kind of cool.

Getting to the checkouts had been a whole other story, too. Taking each test from his basket and lining them up on the counter neatly for the checkout girl, all he earned was a weird, questioning look for her, leading Rob to stretch his truth a little, telling her he was a solider who had just come home from a long deployment... and that he had a lot of girlfriends. She didn't seem overly impressed, but it's all he could come up with at the time before he proceeding to clear his throat and start innocently whistling 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' while he waited for her to ring up the purchase. His credit card was offered over and then he bid a hasty retreat from the store, making a note to never go back to that one again. Now he was back in the guestroom they were occupying while they hung around in the wake of Mike's accident. He was anxiously trying to wrestle open the bag of jelly beans, even if it wasn't the best idea for breakfast. "There was like a whole aisle of them and not even any instructions on what to look for. Why do they all seem to be blue, anyway? It ain't like a baby is born blue, is it? Your belly ain't gonna go blue when it hits a certain level. The dude doesn't even shoot blue sperm. You don't pee blue. It's just a conspiracy, meant to confuse us poor dudes trying to look inconspicuous and only managing to make a complete dork of themselves," he insisted just as he got the bag split open abruptly with a rough tug and the jelly beans went flying all over the bed.

Leila looked down at the explosion of black jelly beans with a scrunch of her nose. She hated the bloody things. She hated anything to do with licorice - even remotely. She did start to pick them up, though. Gathering them for Rob so he could put them back in the packet and be able to eat them. She didn't really understand the fetish for blue boxes either when it came to pregnancy tests. When she'd poured the escaped candy back into the bag she eased off the bed and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. She'd managed to pull on one of his shirts as a compromise with clothing. "You gonna be okay, baby?"

Rob nodded as he hugged her back and then rubbed his hands over his face when the hug eased off. "Yeah, it's all good, right? I mean, even if it's not, we're still trying. By the way, the pharmacist thinks I'm an adulterer and Mikey thinks I'm mental with a jelly bean fetish. I told him that's what was in the bag. I nearly bowled him over in the hall, and that's all I could think of to say was in there. He just looked at me like I was mental. Who has a desperate need to get jelly beans from a pharmacy at eight in the morning? No one."

"A pregnant woman?" Leila suggested with a slight smirk. She kept her hand on Rob's back as she rubbed it soothingly, her eyes on his face. He was more nervous than she was, but Leila just couldn't bring herself to start freaking out until she'd actually peed on the stick. The wait was going to be agonising. She glanced down at the array of packages and finally leaned forward to pick up the one with the electronic display. "I feel like I'm about to piss on a remote. I'm surprised they haven't come up with an app for your iPhone so that you can just piss on that, and it'll automatically tell you if you're pregnant, or not. I'm sure Mikey will get it, and the pharmacist can just spend the rest of her life wondering about the man with... six girlfriends."

Rob scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I tried to explain that I was a soldier and had been away a long time, but I think it just more dropped her notion of soldiers in her mind down about ten slots of respect. Which sucks, because it's the pharmacy Mikey's family goes to, and this ain't a huge town. Plus, Mikey ain't going to jump to the pregnant conclusion. I don't think he thought it was jelly beans in there, but god only knows what else his brain will come up with. But better they think I'm a nutcase when I already have the history of it, right? As much as I love you, babe, I ain't letting you piss on my phone."

Leila kissed his cheek, and let go of him so she could rip open the packaging and get the test out. "Hey, I won't piss on your phone. And you are a soldier that's been away for a long time, you just happen to fuck one very special lady instead of several in different ports. Really, who has the energy for that kind of crap, anyway? There's the travel time, the lying, the fucking, the everything... Pfft. Casual lays are casual lays, but keeping up with six girlfriends? Surely she has to realise you're lying. Eventually. Otherwise Mikey's gonna be getting a few funny looks." Leila didn't think pissing on a stick really needed instructions, but she skimmed over them anyway. "Two minute wait... Does that seem long enough to you?"

"I think she thought I was serious, in which case, Mikey's going to get funny looks. I better give him a heads-up, once we know the lay of the land. I just didn't want to say anything to anyone, you know? Felt like I was going to jinx it if I did. I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like I'm preparing for a battle and I'm trying to make sure everything is all in the right place, and we know the lay of the land before we go in," Rob explained, emphasising with his hand. "That even sounded stupid coming out of my mouth. It sounded a lot better in my head. I can do battles! This is just... uncharted territory. Yes, it seems like too long."

Leila tucked the stick into the pocket of the shirt she was wearing and took Rob's face between her hands as she kissed him softly. "This isn't a battle, as much as I know you would love to just be able to strategise for it like one. I love you, Little Rock, but I need you to just take a deep breath for me because I'm about to have to pee on command, and I can't do it if I know you're getting nervous. If you want I'll go into that pharmacy and set her straight. We don't have to say anything, not until we know for sure. But if it's true... we're past the jinx period. I'll be five fucking months along... Okay, now I am going to piss myself. I need to get to the toilet."

"Unless you've just been getting a bit extra cuddly around the middle from burgers and we only just hit the jackpot," Rob pointed out as he nodded, tugging her over towards the bedroom door to hold it open for her. "In which case, if it's positive, I might need to have a chat to Mrs Austin about doctors around here so we can see what's going on. But I'm not going to get ahead of myself. I'm cool, totally chilled," he said, trying desperately to look chilled, even if he was feeling anything but inside and only managed to shoot her a goofy looking smile.

Leila just grinned back at him before she kissed his forehead and disappeared into the bathroom. In the end of the actual peeing was the easy part. She realised now just how much she'd actually been going to the toilet lately. That was a pregnant thing, wasn't it? Women were always going on about their bladders and pissing up a storm while pregnant. She wrapped the stick up in toilet paper and washed her hands after flushing and came back out to Rob. "So now we wait. And I'll try not to get touchy about the burger comment."

Rob dropped down onto the edge of the bed, his leg bouncing anxiously as he started to play with the jelly bean packet, almost to annoyance. "I hate waiting," he admitted. "I meant it in a good way! I actually really love you with some extra cuddly bits. I like you all ways. But it's just..." He set the jelly beans aside so he could tug the shirt up that she was wearing. Standing there in front of him, he had a better view and he brushed his hands over her stomach. "It feels different, looks a lil more... hm... smooth. Does that make sense?"

Leila nodded as she pushed her fingers through his hair and bit her lip. She wasn't opposed to Rob touching her in any way, but the way he was touching her belly with even just the idea of her being pregnant was something new, and something she could definitely get used to. She bent forward as she covered his hand with hers, and kissed him. "It makes sense. Even if it's not... you know what, I'll keep the cuddly bits. Okay?"

"I wonder what it feels like to be pregnant. Not that I'll ever know or anything, but it's a person in there. Moving and growing. I mean, it even feels weird when you eat too much. I wonder how much you're aware of it, or if it just feels weird from the outside," Rob mused quietly, never actually really letting himself think like this in the past. He had never gotten to this point, not even remotely close. "Some people seem to hate it and have a bad time of it, others really love it and think it's the best experience ever."

Leila's hips moved forward a little and she stayed standing as she watched Rob's face. "I don't know, maybe it depends on just how much you wanted to be pregnant in the first place. No doubt there's downsides, and there's uncomfortable parts... I just... I don't know. I haven't really felt different. Not consciously. But that doesn't mean anything... Shit, I won't be able to believe it if I am pregnant. I always thought it was bullshit how you get those chicks on the news that have no idea they were pregnant and then all of a sudden they're popping a kid out."

"You've gotta wonder how they didn't know, though. Like right through, I mean. There has to be a point where you just know something is going on, that you feel sort of different. In saying that, we've been on the road. There's been different feeling all over the place, there's been a lot of sitting and eating different food. Worry about Mikey, even. We've all felt different, so maybe you just missed any of the usual signs you might have picked up if we were rolling with things as usual. I remember Andrew telling me that Ali started to act different, maybe you have too, but you haven't felt it because we've been chilling out?" Rob suggested with a small shrug. "We've been doing a lot of soul-searching."

Leila nodded as she hummed in agreement. "Absolutely. None of what we've been through has been normal lately. We've been in different environments, living very much a life of leisure. There's been no stress. It's been great." She winked at Rob. "Mikey will be okay. We'll keep worrying over him, but he'll be okay. So will Charlie. You're all home safe and sound for a little while, it's time to enjoy it. I happen to be grateful for the time to soul-search. Maybe this is the right time to have a kid if it happens."

"I should start trawling the net for some homes in that Jersey area. Maybe talk to my commanding officers about that job, too," Rob decided, suddenly feeling like everything was very real and maybe even now on a timer, if their suspicions turned out correct. There was a slim chance they might. "I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. How would you feel about inviting Mikey and Charlie along for the rest of the trip? Maybe we could all hit Vegas and just live it up a lil?"

"That sounds like a really good idea, baby. I'm glad that you're finally feeling like you can make some of these moves." She glanced at the clock. Surely the two minutes had to be up, but now she couldn't really remember how long ago they started. There was also a slight fear of what the answer might be. She wasn't sure if she could actually handle it being negative. Her gaze snapped back to Rob's and she smiled. "I think that would be an awesome idea. Plus Vegas means getting to revisit the place we got married. We can actually see some of the sights."

Rob nodded slowly, biting down on his lip. "Mikey'll have to go back to Jersey anyway, so this is one way for it. I don't know when he'll head back to work. But just after that night with him on the bathroom floor, I could see he just needs a break. It's all catching up with him. We just need to figure out if his leg will be okay on the trip, if he thinks he'll handle it. We can stop a lot, stay in more guest houses if he needs sleep in a bed, but it's not entirely implausible. They'd have their own car, ours isn't big enough."

Leila ducked her head as she smirked. "And they probably wouldn't want to be trapped in a car with us, anyway. We can always rotate if Mike needs some time with you, or Charlie." Leila touched his face, her thumb tracing his lip. "I think it's maybe time to check. What do you think?"

Rob smirked. "What, you mean the 'debates' about which road we should take or what to eat for lunch?" he asked with a laugh. They'd had some firey shouting matches occasionally throughout their trip, showing that both could be quite indignant and stubborn when they wanted to be. Probably why they worked so well together. He glanced over at where she had left the test and sucked in a sharp breath, nodding. "May as well get it done, like ripping off a band-aid, yeah?"

Leila laughed as she leaned in to kiss his forehead. "Yeah, those. Alright, here we go. Shit, I'm really nervous, Rob," she admitted as her face suddenly changed to reflect it. She sucked on her bottom lip and was tempted to stay between Rob's legs and ignore the test but she took a deep breath and pulled away to go pick up the test. She came back with it clutched in her hand, and sat next to her husband. "On three?"

Rob wrapped both his arms around her and squeezed her softly. "It's gonna be okay, whatever it says. We're still cool, we still have each other. If it ain't positive, then we just keep trying with the baby-making, yeah? Still got a few weeks of that bet under our belts," he reminded her with a wink and then kissed her temple reassuringly. His own stomach was fluttering nervously, though. He told himself not to get his hopes up, but somewhere between standing in the pharmacy aisle with all the tests in front of him, and now, they had gotten up subconsciously. He was going to be pretty bummed if it wasn't positive. They might not have been trying for long, but they had been trying pretty fucking hard, to the point he was wondering if his whole getting blown up thing might have fucked with his functioning, or maybe stress had lowered his sperm count. "On three."

Leila gave a nod, leaning against him as she tucked her legs up under herself and used Rob as a human cushion. "One... two... three..." She unfolded the toilet paper keeping the stick safe, and looked at the digital read out. Leila sucked in a breath as she just stared at it, really not sure she was reading right. Or even sure she could speak English anymore. "Do you see what I see?" she finally asked Rob in a whisper, still just staring at the word 'positive' on the little screen.

Rob grabbed the stick off her and held it up close to his face so he could get a better view. Then he stopped, squeezing his eyes shut and counting to ten before he looked at it again. Positive. As opposed to negative, because negative would be, well, negative. He could feel his heart start to beat in his chest and it felt like everything rush to the forefront. It was only a moment or two more that he blinked hesitantly at the screen, absorbing it and then he jumped up with a loud shout, waving the stick in the air and doing a happy dance. But only before he pulled her up, wrapping his arms around her and spinning her around. "Positive!" he shouted.

Leila honestly couldn't believe it, but as Rob spun her around and she watched him do the happy dance she started to laugh with joy and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed his face all over. "Positive! Oh my god... Oh shit, we're pregnant! We're having a baby. I have to tell Andy. And Luke. Shit. We should tell Mikey." She pulled back to look at his face. "Or should we get the scan first. We should get the scan first. We need to know the details. Like, how long... and everything. Don't we? Are there even scans when you're first pregnant?"

"I don't care, we're having a baby!" Rob cried happily. He caught her lips in a bruising kiss, feeling like he just wanted to stand there and laugh he was so happy. His face was already hurting from smiling more than he had in a long time and it was taking all his effort not to run to the door and shout to everyone in the house that he was going to be a daddy. He stopped, giving a breathless laugh of relief as he lowered her back down to look at the reading again. It was real, he wasn't dreaming it. No one dreaming would feel like they wanted to pee this bad from excitement. He danced on the spot again and then did a victory lap of the room, holding the stick up in the air. He came to stop in front of Leila again, crouching down in front of her and resting his hands on her stomach. "I don't know if you have ears yet, but I just have to tell you that you're the best thing I ever did. Fuck winning and fuck medals, this is it. Right here."

Leila could feel tears pricking the backs of her eyes and she pushed her glasses up into her forehead so she could try and brush the tears away. She was still grinning hard, but there was just a sudden surge of emotion at seeing the way Rob reacted. She really hadn't seen him smile that in months. She sniffed as she laughed off the tears, and combed her fingers through his hair as she looked down at him. "I love you, Rob. So much. And I'm just... We're having a baby! Shit."

Rob rose up again, cupping her face in his hands and kissing all over her face. "You are amazing, darlin'. We made a baby, and we didn't even know it. I don't deserve you, I don't. But I'm glad you came into my life and gave me the world." He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet, almost squealing in excitement as he continued to grin until his whole face hurt. "Can I tell Mikey? Please, please, please?"

Leila cupped his face in return, and leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. "You deserve me, you just don't realise it. You look like the biggest kid in a candy store right now. Of course you can tell Mikey. I might see if I can call Luke and Andy. The should know."

Rob really did make a squeaking sound of excitement this time and was about to turn away, but then he was back, kissing her again and then breaking it as quick as it started. He beamed at her, with a happy shrug. "Happy Mother's Day, darlin'," he told her and then bolted for the door, flinging it open. "MIKEY! I'M PREGNANT!"

RP Log with tacticalmind | Miscalculations?

doesntwaltz — Mon, 10 May 2010 01:10:36 GMT

It was one of those days Rob just really didn't want to get out of bed. Not so much a bad day, but just a day he didn't really want to face anyone but his wife. He had them occasionally, where he was content to stick out the daylight hours in an oblivious coocoon just with Leila. They were still stopped at Mike's family home, and probably would be until he got back on his feet a little easier. Now that he was taking the prescribed medication, he seemed to be coping a bit better. But the post-deployment funk had set in a little, and it did have Rob wondering how Leila would feel if he suggested Mike, and maybe even Charlie too, tag along on their road trip. They could get a car and just convoy their way through the rest of the trip. It could be a lot of fun, and maybe what the doctors ordered.

Rob, however, had other things to think about that morning. He was maybe in just a small sulk that Leila still wasn't pregnant yet. No symptoms at all and he was starting to wonder if he was maybe not aiming right or something. Did you have to aim to hit the jackpot. He was still in bed under the mound of covers, the top of his head, one eye, and his nose the only thing visible from under them where he lay on his stomach. He watched Leila by the dresser digging around for something in her bag, perving on her bare butt but actually feeling just a tiny bit too tired for a fuck after going four rounds the night before. "Is it possible to out-fuck yourself?" he asked, the question muffled against the pillow. "I don't even have morning wood. I think something's wrong."

Leila turned to smirk at him over her shoulder, wearing her glasses despite the fact she was still naked. She always kept them by the bed in case she needed to actually focus on something, and right now she was glad of it. At least she could find her glasses even if she couldn't find a pair of pants that would apparently fit. She'd never once had a problem pulling on her jeans, but this morning when she went to get dressed to grab some breakfast to bring back to Rob, she just couldn't get the fucking things on. "Out-fuck yourself? Baby, you've been out-fucking yourself since I met you. Just when I think the sex can't get any better - it does. Except for that one time when we tried that whole rolling in the sand with the waves crashing over us. Fuck that for a joke. I still had sand in my crack two days after, and I think I snorted a litre of sea water." She huffed out a frustrated breath as she tossed the bag on the floor in disgust and pressed her lips together as she faced Rob. "Maybe you're just tired, Little Rock. Or maybe it's a side effect? Do I look fat to you?"

"A side effect of what? I ain't started any new meds, and I ain't been pinching Mikey's either." Rob pushed the covers away from his face and rose up on an elbow with a snort. "What? Fat? Are you serious? Did you just ask me if you look fat? No you don't look-" But he paused, pulling his lips to the side a little. "We have been eating an awful lot of burgers," he pointed out with a shrug. "But that doesn't mean I think you look fat, otherwise I'd be looking fat too. Why the hell do you think that? Why are you all... thingy? I dunno. Huffy." He reached under the blankets and gave himself a lethargic scratch as he yawned widely.

Leila turned to the side as she looked at him, rubbing her hand over her stomach as she tried to work out if it was bigger, or not. "I don't know, maybe it's a delayed reaction from the meds you are taking? Or maybe you really are just exhausted. And yes, I just asked if I looked fat. I can't fit into my jeans. My jeans, Rob!" She walked over to the bed, and reached for his free hand as she held it flat against her stomach. Rob's fingers almost spanned the width of her abdomen, so really it was ludicrous for her to think she was getting fat. "I don't even get this bloated when it's my period. I don't feel fat, but something must have fucking changed."

Rob just blinked, watching his hand on her belly. He was clueless to women's thingies. He was sympathetic and caring at the right times usually, so he wasn't a complete bloke all the time. He was capable of being sensitive, and it had never been an issue with Leila. They just did their thing and he hoped he didn't rub her up the wrong way when she had PMS and find himself with a camera up his ass sideways. He made a small 'I dunno' sound and shrugged, but then after a moment, his features changed and he brushed his fingers back and forth across her flat stomach. "Awww," he murmured with a wistful smile and then sighed.

Leila was still frowning but as she watched Rob stroke her belly she couldn't help but get a smile of her own and stick her stomach out a little as she thought about what it would be like to be pregnant. She really did just want to be pregnant. She was finding herself more and more desperate to just wake up and suddenly want to puke her guts up, or to be late with her period. But it never happened. She ran her fingers through his hair before she bent forward to kiss his temple. "I know, sweetheart."

Rob squeezed his hands around her waist and the rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so she had no choice but to follow and sit straddled over him. In the new position, he started to gently feel around her waist and her belly to understand what she was on about and then he hummed in thought. "It feels a little different," he admitted her and then brushed his thumbs up past her hips. "Only here, it feels not as boney," he told her with a cheeky grin.

"Mm..." Leila couldn't help but enjoy the feel of straddling him again, and purposefully wriggled and rubbed against him as she got comfortable. She still had her fingers in his hair, rubbing the tips against his scalp as she looked down at his hands on her body. "Not as boney? Maybe because your morning wood isn't inches deep inside me for a change," she said as she grinned back. Leila tilted her head in thought and then her hands went to her breasts as she felt them. Her forehead creased with a frown. "I think... my boobs are bigger. And they kinda feel sore." Considering the fact that she and Rob spent most of the time fucking, or in the car she'd barely bothered with a bra the whole road trip but now she had her breasts held firmly in her hands she really was starting to wonder about them.

"Is it that time of the month?" Rob asked her, raising his eyebrows as he looked up at her. Now he was purposefully staying well away from her boobs. "Actually, come to think of it, I've totally lost track. When was your last time of the month? Feels like ages now. All this fucking is frying my brain cells. Back home, I used to know what you had that lil pink dot thing on the calendar that it was going to be hands off for a week. We ain't got that calendar out here." His hands went from her hips around to her ass, and he squeezed it, pulling her against him. No morning wood didn't mean he couldn't appreciate the fact she was sitting in his lap naked. Something was definitely stirring.

Leila started to shake her head before she stilled and just stared at Rob as she tried to do the maths in her head. She pictured the calendar and started to count days. Her period had been light for a while now, but she'd just assumed it was because most of the stress had been taken away now she had Rob back safe and sound. She ran the palm of her other hand down his chest, and moaned softly as he squeezed her arse. "I don't know," she admitted. "I was thinking that maybe it was, but I can't actually remember what state we were last in when I had my period. It had to have been before Maine."

Rob stilled, looking up at her with wide eyes. "You don't think..." But he shook his head. "Nah. Even I know you wouldn't be showing this soon." He rested his head back against the pillow, hating how much even for a couple of seconds his gut had leapt up into his throat in excitement of the prospect. He didn't know what was wrong with his cock, but he did know Leila had absolutely no pregnancy symptoms and it felt like they had been trying for ages now.

Leila ran her tongue over her lips as she kept looking at Rob, her eyes searching over his face as the cogs turned in her mind. She had both hands running over his torso now, enjoying the feel of his body under her touch as the arousal started building inside her. She'd always been attracted to Rob, always been more than reactive to him, but she couldn't remember ever being horny this much before. The babymaking had just seemed to have flicked a switch inside her and she wanted him all the time. She rocked her hips in a steady rhythm as she stayed sitting on top of him. "Unless it happened earlier..." she murmured, finally voicing where her thoughts had been going.

"What? No. We only stopped with the pill and condoms a few weeks ago. And wouldn't you know? I thought there was supposed to be all throwing up and mood swings and, I dunno, bloating?" Rob offered cluelessly. He looked up at her sheepishly. "I Googled and just found all these blogs with girls complaining about spewing, flatulence and constipation. Not that I'm saying you don't have any of that! Maybe you do, it's not something you would announce, is it? You haven't been feeling sick, have you?"

Leila shook her head. "No, not really. Maybe a bit of extra wind compared to normal, but nothing gross or embarrassing. I just figured it was the hamburgers. Sometimes you get the rare pregnancy where the woman escapes relatively scot free. I Googled too. I'm just trying to think if there's a time I forgot my pill, but the only one springing to mind is New Year's, but was months ago. It's such a drunken hangover blur that I really can't be sure if I took it, or not. I don't even know if we used condoms in our attempt to fuck the pain away. You took a few days to calm down and I remember the healing sex. I just... I can't remember that far back. Not when it comes to taking my pill."

Rob shook his head too, though slowly as he was frowning a little, trying to wrap his head around it. "We didn't. Use condoms, I mean. It was probably three days where I hardly left the bedroom, we just didn't use them. It actually didn't even cross my mind, but I guess it was already clogged with other shit. I just needed to get close to you. You really think you missed a pill? All the way back then? Five months?" He looked over her body and her stomach, wondering if it was possible for a five month baby to be in there somewhere and then he looked up at her again. "And what about that morning in Michigan when we were starting to head to Little Rock? You were sick, we had to stop. It was before we decided to stop with the condoms."

Leila slowly nodded as she listened, agreeing with everything he said. "I hadn't even eaten anything strange, and I never get motion sickness. It was just... sudden. I thought my insides were going to crawl out my throat. Shit..." She was staring at him now, her eyes wide behind the glasses. "Five months, Rob! Five fucking months... I could be pregnant. I'm not fat! I'm... fuck. Shit. No! It can't be... But then how do you... And there wasn't--Oh my god."

"Wait, wait. Don't go freaking out on me. We can't be sure! It's just speculation. I mean, look at you. There's nothing of you! How is a baby that's five months along even fit in there? If you're five months, that means we'd only have, like, sixteen weeks before you give birth and that's just... that can't be right! No way can it be right. You were just feeling rough that day, it was probably a bug. It's only been once. It's only been once, right? Right?! And it ain't like you've been gassing me out in bed or getting sore feet or anything!" Rob had managed to sit up a little underneath her and was now waiting for her to confirm everything. No way were they having a baby in sixteen weeks.

Leila was could only stare before she looked down at her stomach again as if she would suddenly have x-ray vision and could tell if she was pregnant. "I don't know," she finally whispered. "I just don't know. Maybe we should at least get a test? I pee on the stick, and everything's cool. It'll be like a practice run for the real deal. Or it might actually be the real deal and we're about to have the biggest fucking surprise ever."

"Maybe you just need the bathroom? Maybe that's why the jeans don't fit?" Rob asked, his voice a little higher than it normally was as some strange emotion had started flipping over in his gut. "Maybe it's Mrs Austin's cooking? It's really awesome cooking. She thinks we all need to put on weight, maybe she's just been spiking the cookies with lard or something? Maybe I should check my jeans? They might not fit either. Because five months is just..." He started to laugh, shaking his head.

"I know," Leila replied as she started to laugh herself. It really was ludicrous. She couldn't be pregnant. There was just no way. "Fat cookies. No wonder they taste so delicious." She leaned forward to kiss Rob softly. "I don't think you need to check your jeans just yet, Sergeant."

But Rob had paused again and when the kissed eased off he was looking at her with wide eyes. "We could could be pregnant," he whispered and swallowed nervously.

Leila pressed her lips together as she looked back at him. "I know," she whispered. "But I just... I don't want to get too excited in case it's not that."

Rob patted her ass and went to sit up in the bed. "I can't wait. I can't, I'll go mental and I don't want to go mental again. I'll get dressed and go out to get a test. Why wait, huh? If we do, everyone will think something is up because we're acting weirdly. 'Least if we find out, we'll know for sure and we can stop dwelling on it, yeah?"

Leila reluctantly slid off her husband and tried not to pout when she was clearly intent on other things occurring right then. Only Rob had a point, and she couldn't really fault him. "Yeah, okay. Are you sure you want to go alone, though? Just be quick! I miss my human seat."

"I would go with a whole orchestra and a chorus of dancing girls if I had to. But you stay here, I'll be quick. I know the town like the back of my hand, and I'll be back before you know it, babe. Promise," Rob added with a smile and sat forward to give her a kiss. "In the meantime, I better take a wiz, or I'll wet myself from nerves before I even get to my car."

"Well, I don't want you wetting yourself," Leila replied before she pulled him back for another kiss and finally let him go as she flopped back on the bed, her hands automatically moving to her stomach as she rubbed it. She might really be pregnant, and the thought wasn't as scary as she had expected.

[NSFW] RP Log with tacticalmind | Baby Making

doesntwaltz — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:38:13 GMT

After leaving Mike's room, Leila had ducked to the bathroom and Rob had stepped out onto the back porch of the Austin home. The air was cool and crisp, but not exactly cold. Fine enough for Rob to be standing out there in a short-sleeved button up shirt. He was standing on the back steps, looking up at the stars in the clear Texas sky, a pensive and strangely calm expression on his face considering the tension he had managed to build in the car ride back from Houston. He was such a rollercoaster of emotions these days that he sometimes wondered why the fuck Leila still wanted to put up with him. He could go from fine to a crying mess in the blink of an eye. He could also go from quiet to yelling at her just as quick. It wasn't like it was all the time. He didn't come across as completely screwed in the head... not quite. Just now and again, he had these bursts of emotion he couldn't really control. She just took it all in her stride, though. He just didn't know if he would ever fully understood why she wanted to deal with that in her life. He was just glad she did. Now, he wasn't sure he could live without her. In fact, he was certain he couldn't. He wouldn't have lived through the tragedy in Afghanistan and survived out there as long as he did without drawing on her for strength, even if it was just memories of her.

His thumbs were hooked into the pockets of his jeans as he just continued to take in the view of the starry sky. He was lucky to be alive, and he knew that every minute his heart kept beating. Everything with Mike had really sliced open some wounds for Rob, and he was dealing the best he could. He was still a little fragile from the fact he had literally broken down in uncontrollable sobbing when he had seen his folks in Little Rock. It had taken a good hour and a half for him to try and pull his compsure back, and he looked like he was half drunk, half hungover and a tiny bit stoned by the time the crying stopped. His Dad gave him a beer and one of his Mom's homebaked brownies, and things seemed a little better after that. Then it had been on to Lakewood, Texas to be there when Mike got flown in after his surgery. It had just been an emotional week and this was the first time Rob had let himself stop and just feel that serene solitude of fresh air, clear skys, and being alive on home soil.

Leila slipped out onto the back porch, her arms once again around Rob as she slid her hands up under his shirt, her fingers exploring the dips and curves of his abdomen. Rob still had a pretty amazing six pack, and she couldn't deny she loved touching it. She kissed the back of his neck before she rest her chin on his shoulder as she glanced up at the night sky herself. "This really is one thing I miss in New York. I miss just being able to see the sky, see the stars..." She fell quiet again for a moment as she rubbed his stomach. "I don't know how I ever thought I could do without it. I don't know how anyone does without it."

Rob wrapped his arms around hers, holding them against his stomach. He brushed his fingers along her forearm and nodded slowly. "Yeah, it's... I ain't real sure how I got on so long in New York, darlin'," he admitted to her quietly. "I was wondering if that might've been part of the reason I wasn't just automatically better with the whole PTSD. Felt like I was failing psych sessions or something. Things were starting to get more clarity out on the road, where it's green and fresh. Then Mike and Charlie come home, and my brain turns into a gigantic pile of crap again. I'm just gonna have to apologise in advance to you if I start being a bastard all over again. It's weird. I ain't even realising I'm doing it until I'm stopping and realising, hey, you're talking shit." He reached behind her and rubbed his hand over her hip, leaning his face in close to hers. "Just keep me away from Scotch and Vodka. Still, I... ain't sure I want to stay living in the city," he added softly.

Leila couldn't help it as she hummed contentedly at feeling his hand on her hip. If she had been capable of purring she probably would have been making that noise. Any touch from Luke right now seemed to have her shivering with pleasure. She turned her face to meet his and kissed his lips as she smiled a little. "I know you don't mean it, Little Rock. Probably why I don't really take offence. Trust me though, you push me too far, and I'll yell back. I don't have a problem with that. And I know, I do, trust me. I know now the city's never gonna really be your home. I just want you happy, and I want you healthy. I don't care where we live so long as it's you and me. Mike could always take our place if he wants in the city." She nuzzled in against his cheek. "We don't need to live in the city. I don't need to live in the city. Priorities shift."

"First time Charlie has copped it. She actually looked like she wanted to deck me for a minute there," Rob sniggered and bit down on his lip. "I tried to warn her online now and again but it ain't quite coming off in words than getting hit in the face with it. I actually asked my psych once if it was worth me walking around with a warning sign on my head. That was early on, though. Things ain't as bad now as they were. The trip's been good. I thought it would just make it easier to head back to New York and be okay with that, but I think it's just making me feel more like I want a house, some grass, air... clear, open sky that looks like it could have anything underneath it if you just looked hard enough. Ain't sure Mikey would want it. He wasn't really a fan when he was staying there, he was just sticking around for us." He finally turned around and wrapped his arms around her waist, smiling softly at her in the dim light as he eyes swept over her face, taking in every inch of her features.

Leila found herself grinning under his gaze and reached up to brush her fingers over his cheek. "Hi," she said with a soft laugh. "Maybe he can still come with us? Or do his own thing. Whatever it is he wants to do. She did admirably to avoid decking you. I still can't quite believe we survived that car trip without a little bloodshed. It probably helped in its own strange little way to clear the air a little."

Rob had the decency to actually look sheepish at her comment. "I ain't got the best deep-n-meaningful revelations timing, have I? It's like I get verbal diarrhoea once the brain hits that shaky patch and everything is just pouring out before I can stop it. Next thing I know, I've said some really far out things I didn't even realise I wanted to say or were hovering that close to the surface. I didn't mean to point any fingers at Mikey, I just... he isn't quite right. I'm worried he mighta done it deliberately or made a mistake, and just hasn't been ready to offload it yet. I never meant to reveal that to Charlie. I had meant to just sit on it myself and stew on it in my own time, but clearly my brain is like a fucked up sieve..." His tongue came to rest between his lips and after a couple of moments, he led her off the back steps and down into the darkened backyard. The light wasn't on, and there was only the moon for light. It was romantic, in an odd countryish way. They were out of sight of any windows now and he brushed his hands over her back. Of course, that meant he was immediately horny and hard, just from the vision of her and he pulled her closer so they were pressed together. "Hi."

Leila smirked at him as she ruffled his hair in response to his brain comment before she caught his lips in a hungry kiss. The second she'd felt him hard against her it was all on, she couldn't help it. She'd been holding herself back since they'd been in Mike's room, and now she just wanted him. She wanted to make babies. She wanted it all, fucked up sieve brain, or not. "I know you don't mean it," she said breathlessly in between kisses, "I really do. I know you can't always control your reactions, and I'm okay with that. I think Mike will get it, too. And Charlie. You're lucky you have friends that can identify with how you're feeling. And I want to be able to know what it's like, but all I can do is stay by your side and give you anything I can to make it better for you. Fuck, you're hot."

There was a light around the corner from the kitchen, and Rob leaned back to try and survey the back of the house. Any window that could be seen from where he was standing had the blinds drawn. Mike's room was on the other side of the house and his parents were in the living room at the front. Rob had been feeling like a horny school kid since they made the bet, and sometimes it was like he had no control over his cock. Coupled with the fact that when his brain fired up it seemed to want to focus that energy on fucking his wife beyond anything else, he wasn't left thinking many innocent thoughts. When he looked back to her, he had a cheeky smirk on his lips. "Think we could get away with a quickie right here?" he asked her, breathless himself in the wake of the hungry kissing. He was already working on undoing the button on his jeans. "Ain't sure I can be satisfied with a quiet ninja fuck in the guest room tonight... Charlie's gonna be right next door. At least, so Mrs Austin thinks. Ain't sure Mikey told her the news because she made the second room up."

She nodded, her eyes on his lips in the dim light before she was starting to undo her own fly, and silently wishing she'd had the foresight to wear a skirt. It was possible that Leila needed to convert to skirts full time, but she wasn't sure Rob would let her. He really did go crazy for her in jeans. She grabbed at his collar again, the kiss searing and passionate as her free hand finished what he'd started with his fly and she slipped her hand inside. "News?" Leila asked quietly as she frowned a little. "She's staying the night, isn't she? She'd have to. Definitely no ninja fuck tonight. Or maybe we can have one later. Mm... I love your cock."

Rob exhaled sharply when her familiar fingers wrapped around his cock again. He was never, ever going to get sick of feeling that first touch that never failed to send bolts of electricity through every inch of his body. He couldn't deny that he was frustrated when they were both in jeans. It restricted movements and it never lasted very long because of that. With the road trip, it had been a luxury with them. They had either the tent or the car and usually enough privacy to at least get one of them completely out of pants to get the deed done. He had lost count of how many days they had wasted away just lying around the tent naked. But this wasn't a tent or the car, it was Mike's backyard and they needed to employ just a little bit of discretion. Once her fly was open, Rob slipped his hand into her jeans and panties, his fingers already expertly seeking out her clit. He kissed her lips eagerly again and then dipped his head to nuzzle her throat below her ear. "As far as I know. It's 'bout four hours drive to her place. She needs to rest or she'll start getting sick from lack of sleep. Fuck, baby..." he cursed softly with a hiss, pushing his hips forward against her hand. "Let me take you from behind."

"Mm..." Leila had meant to reply to him, but she just moaned instead as her head fell to the side at the feel of his fingers stroking against her clit. He always knew just what to do. Although these days she just had to look at him, or smell him, and it was on. She was like a dog in heat, and she just didn't care. She moaned again as she sucked on his tongue, and stroked her hand along his cock more firmly before pulling back to give him a consenting nod. "I was just thinking about you doing that... Charlie should rest. Lots of rest," she finally added after a moment of just looking at Rob while she licked her lips. "I want your babies," she breathed out.

"I fucking hope so, or we could be in a lotta trouble," Rob drawled in a husky voice against her ear. He had her turned and pushed up against the wall without even needing to remove his hand from between her legs. He was panting softly, his breath coming out in short, aroused bursts against the back of her neck when he swept her hair to the side with his free hand. He probably couldn't be more melted against her if he tried, and he rocked forward, rubbing his cock against her delicious ass. There was no point even trying to stifle the hungry moan that fell from his lips and he continued to stroke her rhythmically when his other arm wrapped around her waist in a possessive embrace. "You have the most tasty lil ass, darlin'... if my cock wasn't so eager, I'd be wanting to lick you all over right now," he purred and trailed his tongue over the curve of her neck.

Leila gripped at the wall with one hand as her other one went behind her back to grab onto some part of Rob. She hooked her fingers into his belt loops as she tried to stifle a moan, and failed. His name slipped from her lips and her breathing started to become shallow. She gave a shiver as she felt him rub against her ass, and felt his breath against the back of her neck. Her eyes slipped closed briefly, and she grinned as she turned her head towards his mouth. "And if I wasn't so desperate to have your sperm impregnate me, I might just let you take it, and not just lick it."

Rob cursed softly, his breath tickling the wet trail over her skin. He continued to stroke her clit, letting his fingers slide in and out of her, but his other hand got busy tugging her jeans down over her hips to her thighs before he moved on to shove his own down a lot less gently. He kissed her cheek, coaxing her to turn her head and then caught her lips in another hungry kiss. He was indulging on the feeling of her rocking against his fingers, absorbing her actions and the sounds she was making to spur him on. He was sure he had never known another woman's body as much as he had come to know Leila's and he just felt like he could never get enough of her. They had this chemistry he thrived on and he didn't want it to ever end. The baby making had just laid the challenge down, but truthfully, they had been this passionate with each other from day one. He positioned himself carefully and then with a smooth thrust, took her deeply from behind, unable to get the thought of doing those glorius things with her butt next time they were in private.

She clawed at the wall of the house as she sucked in a breath and squeezed her inner muscles around him to keep him inside her for a moment. His fingers were still circling her clit, and she would have been in danger of turning into a puddle of goo if he didn't have her held tightly against him. Leila was in no danger of ever getting sick of being with Rob like this, or in any danger of denying him not so sneaky ninja fucks in someone else's backyard. In fact, there was a small part of her that was getting even more turned on in the current setting. When they were alone they were free to do whatever they wanted to each other, but now there was the added element of possibly being caught. Leila shifted her hand to grab the back of Rob's neck as she turned her head to kiss him again, a low moan lost in his mouth.

Rob knew they were on the clock this time. Mike's folks could come looking for them or calling for them for whatever reason, hell someone could even come outside. He knew it wouldn't be Mike, because he was mostly confined to bed, and probably not Charlie because she would be wanting to stick around with Mike for as long as she could. But as much as Rob loved them, he wasn't sure he could take either Mr or Mrs Austin catching him fucking his wife against a wall in their backyard. He would be mortified. Still, it was only just a tiny hint of a thought at the back of his head. All-encompassing was Leila in his arms and her wet heat wrapped around his cock. He was already taking it fast, setting a quick and even rhythm of thrusts, trying to take her deeply each time. His other arm left her waist so he could slide his hand up under her shirt, brushing his fingertips over her breast. Oh hell, she had no bra on it felt like his cock got just that tiny bit harder at the realisation. He cupped the mound of flesh in his palm, massaging it softly and giving her nipple a soft pinch to feel it harden. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her as his wife.

Leila arched back against her husband and rest the back of her head against his shoulder as her fingers gripped tighter at what little hair he did have. It had been growing out since he'd been back from Afghanistan, and she'd be lying if she didn't admit to liking it longer. This way she had more to grab onto. Her decision not to wear a bra that day had apparently been win. She didn't often go without, just the days when the idea of putting one on caused her pain. Since they were on the road she couldn't exactly indulge in pyjama days, so she just went with braless ones. It probably didn't help with the fact she was getting more and more used to spending her time naked. Her breath came out in heated pants, and she moaned at the delicious sensations Rob had buzzing through her body. She was already starting to shudder in warning, the stroking of her clit doing more than enough to push her towards the edge rapidly. "Jesus, Rob..."

As far as Rob was concerned, he could be up for more of this. Anyway, Google had told them that lots of different positions was a good thing when trying for a baby. At least, some of the more theoretical ones did, anyway. The scientific ones went into too much detail about sperm and eggs, and Rob had lost attention of it, inside having a covert window open under the browser with their homemade porn pictures. Of course, Leila had caught him and it had led to some pretty awesome sex in the front seat of the car with her riding him in the passenger's seat. If sexual positions was one of the answers, then they were well on it. He just refused to wear briefs and eat brussel sprouts for better sperm productions. He had to put his foot down somewhere. No way could brussel sprouts lead to anything good, let alone any good romance. He also didn't like how briefs gave him wedgies, so that was out the window too. If his balls needed support, it was going to be Leila's hands. Another string of expletives fell from his lips with a small grunted warning that he was close. He sucked on her throat, nipping at it and marking her. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.

Leila growled softly at the feel of him marking her. She really was proud to wear any mark he gave her. She belonged to no one but her husband, and she didn't want to. No guys had ever held her interest like Rob did. Their chemistry really was something else, and while she might have been terrified in the beginning at the idea of them realising their marriage was maybe a mistake after spending time together, that really was gone now. She had no idea what she had been so worried about. She pushed against the wall as she started to rock her hips back against him, her toes curling in her shoes just before she moaned out his name and bucked and trembled against him. She let go of the wall to clutch at his hand through her shirt, keeping his hand on her breast as the orgasm tore through her.

Rob would be lying if he didn't admit to having a fetish of getting Leila off before him. It might even be just a slightly bit selfish because inevitably feeling her tip over the edge never failed to take him down with her. He got off on feeling her come, clenching around him and shuddering against him. Second only to them coming simultaneously, but that was a little awkward while they were fucking up against a wall. It was better in bed where they could see each others faces and there was no risk of getting scratched to bits on bricks. He held off for just a few moments longer and then thrust deeply inside her with a hoarse groan, dropping his head down onto her shoulder as he climaxed forcefully, his grip around her waist tightening so he didn't force her too roughly up against the wall and hurt her. There was now always a tiny thought flickering in his mind after each orgasm wondering if that was the time they hit the jackpot. So far, though, it was too early for pregnancy symptoms of any sort, so they just continued to persist. As if it was an effort anyway. He brushed his lips against her throat. "I love you," he murmured huskily, trying to catch his breath.

She let out a breathy laugh as her grip loosened on his hair and she ruffled it affectionately. She wanted to be pregnant. Each time she was hoping it would be The Time, but she knew as well as he did that it was too early to tell. "I love you too, Little Rock," she replied softly as she smiled. "I've also decided that we're never using condoms again. Even if the eight weeks are up and there's no baby. Or even if it means we wind up with twelve kids."

"Twelves kids and the fact I've put Jamie's diaper on backwards three times?" Rob laughed as he still held her close, his chin resting on her shoulder as he cuddled her. "Think we can put in an order to have them come out toilet trained? You know, if we decide how many we want and hit that goal, I can always get the snip, then we wouldn't have to worry about any of that anymore. Like, down the track of course. It's an option, though. I'm still finding it hard to believe we're even trying. It feels too good to be true."

"Even if you've put Jamie's diaper on backwards three times," Leila replied as she grinned at the memories. The frenzy of the heated sex was over, and Leila relaxed against Rob as she brushed her fingers against his arm. She didn't want to be separated from him just yet. Even if both their jeans were still pushed down past their hips. "I think we can try, but we might have to be prepared for the fact that it probably won't happen. The snip? Well, I guess it really is an option. Are you sure you'd want to? I love that we're trying. I love that you're basically my sex slave no matter what."

Rob let out a slow breath and nodded against her shoulder. "If we had everything we wanted, sure, I'd get it. Sure, the thought of scalpels in that general vicinity of my body makes me nervous, and I might need a lot of TLC, but the thing is... this not worrying thing is addictive. And I'm prepared... I think. I might have gotten my hopes up a lil bit. Is that a bad thing? If it doesn't happen, I'm gonna be disappointed, I guess. I didn't mean to, but things lately just made me want it more."

"I think I'm going to be, too. It's the first bet I've wanted to lose. I guess we're just going to have to try and toughen up a little bit. If it doesn't happen now, it will happen sometime. I'll be more than happy to kick in with the TLC. That part of you has always taken care of me, so I'll take care of it." Leila turned her head to nuzzle against him, and sighed. "It's not a bad thing, by the way. It's just where we're at. How many babies do you want?"

Rob was still snuggling her close, indulging in the quiet moment they had together. It wasn't like they didn't get a lot of quiet time together, especially on the road trip, but this was just nice. "Hmm... I thought two or three, but I think I'd even be happy with one. I think if we get one though, I might love it so much and want more. I ain't wanting to be impractical, though. Three might be too much if I ever have to go away again. Still, if I don't go away, maybe not. Welcome to my brain of the last few weeks," he joked, laughing.

Leila patted his hand before she linked their fingers as she kept his arms around her. "Mm, well, who can blame you? You're still uncertain of how things are going to play out. If you don't know what's going to happen in a month, a year, five years... how are you going to be able to decide anything? We'll just play it by ear, and see how we go. One's a good start. Not like we're in any rush, is it?"

Rob hummed in agreement. "Yeah, for sure. But you know what? Feel like I should just take the training position and be done with it. It ain't gonna be so bad, and I can chill out, spend time with my family, even if we ain't successful on the knocking up front. I've been watching Mikey, and even Charlie. Talking to them. Thinking about the whole shipping out and fighting thing right now just makes me feel real tired, like I wanna curl up in a ball at the bottom of the bed and not come out. I know a lot of that is just the PTSD, and with the therapy, it'll get better. But I think by the time it gets better, I wanna have a shot at being a daddy and doing normal things like mowing the grass of our house and cooking dinner. I've done four terms over there. Well, three and a half. Maybe something's just trying to tell me I've reached my quota. It ain't like the job they're offering me is gonna pay less, it won't. I'm still gonna be a soldier. My feet will just stay grounded."

Leila started to shift slowly so that she could turn around in his arms, careful not to do anything to hurt him. She tugged both their jeans up before she looped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, letting it linger as she smiled against his mouth. "I think you're doing the right thing. I would have backed you regardless of which path you chose, but this one... I like this one. It gives you time to heal, time to go through the therapy. Gives you time to be normal, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that for a little while. Plus Mikey tells me you'd be quite the Drill Sergeant."

"Only problem is, I ain't sure I remember how to be normal," Rob admitted sheepishly, pressed his lips together as he looked at her. But he soon smiled and shrugged. "Did he just? Lies, all lies! I'm perfectly sweet and... whatever else Drill Sergeants ain't. Truth of it is, though, I'm hoping I can have a chance to put the cadets on the right path so they ain't gonna make the mistakes that my Private did out in the field and get themselves recklessly blown up. Maybe I can make a difference at base level where it counts more than most realise. I still remember every minute of my training, all stored up in my head somewhere. I remember all the moves those Drill Sergeants made to drive the messages home. It's what gave me what I needed to be a soldier."

"Of course you can make a difference. I know you will, you believe in what you're doing, and you care about the soldiers and their lives. That's not something a lot of Drill Sergeants probably have. I think they'd just get off on the power plays." She stroked her fingers against his cheek, and sighed quietly. "You'll just have to be abnormal and mow the lawn, and do the daddy and husband things. No shame in that. I won't tell anyone otherwise."

Rob had to laugh. "Like the time I went and did the grocery shopping when you were working at the pub and I lined everything up in the cart with the labels out in order of where they went on our shelves back home and this little old lady stopped me and struck up a conversation about how her son had OCD too and it was a horrible thing to have to live with? I seriously understood right then what you meant when you told me I needed to be ruffled," he said with a smirk. "The next time I did it, it seriously bugged me to just chuck it in all messily, though. I'm too set in my ways. Not everything needs to be structured. Chilling out ain't gonna hurt me, hopefully."

"It hasn't hurt you so far," Leila replied with a grin. "But yeah, that's what I mean. I can't help it if you just had this... look when I first met you. You definitely don't have it now. Now you just look well and truly shagged, and sexy, and ruffled, and mine." She kissed him again, a little more heated this time. "I really do love you, Rob Laird."

RP Log with tacticalmind & nevergonnamiss | Home Sweet Home

doesntwaltz — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:36:19 GMT

[Follows THIS]

It was true that Rob had been a little distracted since Mike had fleetingly revealed that he had been shot in the leg. He wasn't brooding on it or anything, especially not since they had reached Texas and saw with their own eyes that Mike was as okay as someone who nearly had their foot blown off could be. It just seemed to tug them back down to reality a little again, and it was a reminder of how dangerous their job was. Mike, an army medic who didn't even fight on the frontline, had come home with a war injury. It didn't seem right. Their choice to bypass their current road trip route and go to Texas was a no-brainer. As soon as they knew Mike was heading home to see his folks to recuperate, they changed course immediately. It wasn't like they had anything specifically planned anyway. They were just rolling with it, taking each day, seeing where the road took them. They camped a lot, balancing it out with some nights in hotels or guest houses so they could get a long shower and a proper bed to sleep in. They had been gone a few weeks now and as far as Rob was concerned, they were just scratching the surface.

But there was now another unexpected turn, and as they sat in the car park of the bus station that night, Rob drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, his blue eyes trawling back and forth over the scene beyond the car window. He laughed softly and then pressed his lips together. "Brings back memories..." he admitted quietly. "Usually on the other side of the fence with this type of thing. It feels strange. Ain't missing it, though. The bus ride at the end here is the worst leg of the journey home. Seems so long, like you'll never quite reach the destination, and all the views outside feeling like someone's running some boring film strip of the same few trees and rocks over and over. You keep thinking how everyone will look, if anyone's changed. Wondering if you'll tap into the stamina to celebrate being home with them." He narrowed his eyes just a little in thought and cleared his throat. "I used to be so excited about seeing her... like it would all be worth it and she would want to spend time with me and be with me, hug me like she never wanted to let go. Never happened. Hell, the last time she even whined about how I had to come home on a Thursday night and was making her miss Grey's Anatomy on the TV." He gave another tiny snort of a laugh. "I'd been out there so long, I didn't even know what Grey's Anatomy was."

Leila's eyes were on Rob's face, and not on the scene outside. She knew the bus would arrive soon, but right then she didn't have eyes for anything but her husband. She reached out to rest her hand on his leg, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You weren't missing much, trust me. I never could watch that show, and now I really don't want to bloody watch that show. You deserved better. You deserve the best. I just want to be able to give it to you. Fuck TV. If you're coming home, there's nowhere else I want to be other than waiting to greet you. I flew to Germany to be with you." She gave his leg another squeeze, her gaze finally leaving his face when she heard the sound of a low rumble and looked out of the window to see the huge bus rolling in. "His glass is home," she murmured cryptically as thoughts of Mike popped into her head. For all his doubts, it seemed like the universe had other plans for the wounded medic.

Outside, the bus rolled to a stop, the engine rattling as it became idle. There was a loud hiss as the doors were open, and people started to pile out. Charlie waited until she could move freely. She knew she was home even if her head felt like it was swamped in marshmallow. Everything seemed like it was happening to someone else, and not to her. She'd slept all the way on the flight over, then she'd slept for most of the bus trip. She'd only woken up about twenty minutes ago, the sight of Texas outside her window bringing tears to her eyes. And now it smelled like Texas, too.

Well, it smelled like an oily bus station but she didn't care. She slowly dragged herself up onto her feet and trudged down the steps onto the concrete. It wasn't sand, so it was a start. Her folks hadn't been able to meet her, but she didn't mind. Truth was she thought it was safer if she was alone with her thoughts for a while. She reached up to rub her fingers against her eyes and waited once again for the throng of people to dissipate so she could get to her duffel bag. Just as she picked it up she glanced across the terminal and froze at the sight of an all too familiar car.

Rob shot Leila a look and then did a double-take at the glass comment. He had no idea what she was on about, and sometimes he still got a sense he wasn't privy to some sort of Aussie slang that if he asked for an explanation, he would end up with some questionable explanation. He had come to learn what the Aussie sense of humour was like, and even though his own was right up there, that didn't mean he always understood what Leila and her cousins were on about when they got together sometimes. He laughed and shook his head, holding his hand up as he took his seatbelt off. "I ain't asking," he decided in amusement. "I don't want any weird visuals that's gonna all give me more performance anxiety. Speaking of, I think I'm getting chafing," he added with a smirk and opened the door, stepping out.

As soon as he did, he managed to catch sight of Charlie amongst the rest of cammo haze. He stood there for a moment, watching to see how she would react and then stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and sauntered over to her. "Think ya' can help me, ma'am?" he drawled, glancing around covertly. "I'm lookin' for a gal who might be interested in a threesome. Only, she's gotta come with some interestin' skills there." He dropped his voice. "I gotta fetish for flexible chicks."

Leila just grinned. She had yet to share all the details of her conversation with Mike. Not since Rob had been a little quiet about his shooting. Not that she could blame him. Mike had reacted the same way when Rob was first missing, and then injured. She climbed out of the car a few moments after, letting Rob find Charlie first. She still had no idea what the woman looked like. When Rob had found who she was looking for, Leila hung back for a moment and lifted up the camera she'd been nursing in the car to take a photo.

Charlie blinked as a flash went off behind Rob, her mind taking a moment to first process his questionable pick up line, and then to process the blonde woman. His wife, the photographer. Once that clicked into place, she looked at Rob. She started to smile like she was going to reply, but then all of a sudden the floodgates opened and she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. It was her friend. He was here. She had someone to greet her, and to bring her back down to Earth. Only right then all she could manage was sobbing. He was alive, and he was here. She could hug him. "You're real," she choked out.

Rob was nearly knocked off his feet by the force of the hug, but he managed to catch his balance without falling on his ass in the gutter. That really wasn't the look he was aiming for in any situation, especially not in front of a bunch of soldiers. He hugged her tightly and rubbed her back. "Well, yeah, I think my wife can vouch for that one. Ain't any fake dude who'd get a floppy dick in the middle of the most important sex of his life," he joked, keeping a hold of her for as long as she needed it. "It's okay, darlin'. Yeah? It's gonna be okay. You're home now. All done. Time to chill out and relax," he murmured close to her ear, feeling himself well up unexpectedly as the familiar feelings shadowed inside him. He knew what she was feeling.

Leila slipped the camera strap around her shoulder, and let the camera rest at her side as she just watched. She had no idea how either of them would really feel, but she knew what it was like to be the person welcoming a soldier home, and she knew what it was like to watch them readjust. She blinked back sudden tears, and gave Charlie a small smile when the woman's eyes opened again. "Definitely real, but the floppy dick's probably a story for another time."

Charlie snorted a little with amusement, only a tiny bit aware of the fact she was making a mess of Rob's jacket. She couldn't help it, she was just so relieved to see him. She buried her face back in against his shoulder for a long moment as the sobs returned again, her body shaking and trembling from the force of the emotional onslaught. She didn't care if everyone was looking at her, she just needed to let it out. When she felt like the crying had stopped for at least the time being, Charlie lifted her head and gave Rob a watery smile. "She's really pretty. Lord only knows what she's doing with your ugly mug."

"Pretty?" Rob returned, glancing back at Leila with a cheeky grin. "Pretty? She ain't pretty. What are you on about? She's fucking gorgeous!" he insisted, his eyes sweeping over his wife's body before he met her eyes again with a wink. He was still rubbing his hand up and down Charlie's arm, maintaining some contact, knowing that some familiar human touch could make all the difference. It was always going to be a shock to the system trying to adjust back to a normal life. Some just rolled back in like a duck to water, but Rob had never been on of those. It always took time. Just lately, he was more shellshocked than usual.

Leila smirked at her husband as she winked back. She was trying not to think of the next time they'd try making a baby again, not sure Charlie really needed to witness them get down and dirty when she'd only just got back home. She moved closer, and took her husband's free hand as she linked their fingers together. "He's being far too biased. I think all this fresh air has gone to his head. I'm Leila, and it's a real pleasure to meet you. Rob and Mike have told me quite a bit about you."

Charlie's smile faltered as she watched the interaction between Rob and his wife. She wanted it. She wanted someone to look at her like that. And deep down she knew she wanted it to be Mike. "Is he okay?" she found herself asking, only remembering after a moment to hold her hand out to shake Leila's. "Nice to meet you, too. But is he okay? Mike. Is he here? Did he make it back?"

Rob draped his arm around Charlie's shoulders and started to slowly lead her in the direction of his car. At first, he was quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out if he was supposed to fill in all the gaps for her or wait and let Mike do it for her. "I think he's just real tired, darlin'," he finally settled on, but then pulled his lips to the side. She wouldn't be satisfied with that, he realised. If someone had told Leila that he, himself, was 'just real tired' when she asked about him when he was hurt, she would probably have decked them for being a pain in the ass. "We ain't told him you were on your way home. Thought it might be a nice surprise."

Leila reached across Rob as they walked to give Charlie's hand a soft squeeze. "I think he needs the good kind of surprises now." She couldn't wait to see what would happen when Mike realised he had his glass right there in front of him. She was trying not to bounce as they walked, and moved to take the back seat of the car so that Charlie could sit in the front with Rob. She gave her husband a kiss on the cheek as she rubbed his chest."

Charlie let out a sigh, realising she'd been hanging out to hear news about Mike. She'd heard nothing since the note. She'd had no idea if the surgery had gone well, or if he had made it back home. She didn't even know if he'd got the photos her Mom had sent through. She wiped the drying tears from her cheeks, and gave her duffel to Leila when she held her hands out for it. She looked back at Rob and nodded. "Okay, yeah. Surprise. I miss him, Robbo. I miss him a lot. He's all I could think about. I didn't want to... I know it's not... I know it's hard when we're both... I just want to see him." She shrugged. "Want to see you too, of course. I missed you a lot. What are you even doing here, anyway? I didn't think you were near Texas. What about your road trip?"

When Rob sat back in his car, he leaned over and started digging around in his glove compartment, soon yanking out a large brown paper bag and dropping it into Charlie's lap. "Courtesy of my Mom. Care package. I ain't even sure what's in there. She told me not to look 'cause it was girls' business, so I'm guessing it ain't socks and jocks like she sends me over there," he said with a smirk and flipped the compartment shut again, but not until a packet of condoms accidentally came flying out too. He gave a small snort and wound down his window, tossing them outside before starting up the engine. "Alright... okay. He got home okay. The operation repaired some of the tendons in his knee and it sounds like it was a freaky entrance through his thigh. No exit, though, so they had to dig the bullet out. We were almost at Little Rock to see my folks, so we hung around there for a few days til we moved on to Texas to Mike's family. We were there when he was brought home, private chauffeur and all. Still, since he's been back, he's just... well, the only way I can describe it is tired. He doesn't seem much of anything either way. Sleeps a lot. He's only been back about four days."

Leila laughed softly in the back seat as she watched the condoms get tossed, sharing a glance with Rob when he looked at her from the rearview mirror. Truth was she'd be happy to go without condoms for the rest of their marriage. It would be like one constant trying for a child. And if she got knocked up, then they still wouldn't need them. Hell, they'd probably wind up with a little army of their own. She wondered how Luke and Andy would react to seeing her surrounded by kids. "Doesn't mean he won't wanna see you though," she felt the need to add. "Just means you might have to spend some quiet time together."

"I know how he feels, so it's fine," Charlie admitted. "I haven't really stopped sleeping since I got on the plane. I just... I feel like I'm moving through everything slower than usual. I just keep waiting for the next moment I'm going to be asleep again. I can't help it. As soon as they told me I was coming home, that was it. I just felt like I'd let go of this huge weight, and I could just finally rest."

Rob fell silent, even if he didn't mean to. He got into the line of cars to wait their turn to exit the bus station and his fingers curled and uncurled around the steering wheel. Between Arkansas and Texas, he had encountered quite a few people who were seeing him for the first time since the news came that he had been AWOL in Afghanistan. He had dealt with it pretty well, politely answered any questions, but it was all being brought back home and he was processing it a lot slower than he probably normally would. Although Mike's injuries hadn't been extensive and had been corrected by surgery that would soon heal, Rob had thrown up after receiving the news his friend had been shot out in the field. His brain dragged him back to a strange dejavu place that he only started to absorb after he took some time after the initial shock. He was on medication, too. Anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants the Army psych had given him to help it after his first assessment. He might have managed to get back up, but he was still a fallen soldier somewhere in his psyche. The tiredness Charlie was describing still plagued him some days, even months after he had been pulled from Afghanistan. He remembered the conversation he had with Mike that first night his friend was home in Texas. Mike admitted to him that he would have died to save the young soldier's life he had been trying to help. He also admitted to feeling weak for the first time in his life, but had jokingly asked Rob not to tell anyone. Rob had smirked back, but to him it wasn't a joke. He understood the truth behind the jest. Weakness was one of the hardest things for a soldier to admit to. The only thing was, it was for the soldier to admit, not anyone else, and Rob knew he couldn't tell Charlie what Mike had said. It had to be something that Mike revealed to her himself, because it was an intimacy and vulnerability that should be chosen to be shared. He turned the car out onto the main road and put his foot down on the accelerator to pick up the speed right to the limit, winding down the window to feel the air on his face a little. "Lucky it's only his leg. 'Least you can still ride him," he finally offered and threw her a small smirk before his eyes were locked back on the road ahead. "A good hard fuck, good stress relief."

Leila was still watching what she could see of her husband's face in the mirror and leaned forward to give his shoulder a squeeze as she slipped her hand down the side of the seat. Her gaze shifted to Charlie, and she smiled. "A lot to be said for sexual healing."

Charlie nodded absent-mindedly as she looked outside the window. It was still hitting her that she was surrounded by cars, and life. By people that weren't completely in cammo, or Arab dress. She was still getting used to the fact that it wasn't just desert outside, either. Or that there wasn't the sound of gunfire, or yelling. Her ears felt like they were ringing with the sudden change in sounds. She bit her lip and looked back at Rob and his wife. "I'm not sure I have the energy," she admitted with a shaky smile. "I just want to see him... touch him. Maybe just curl up against him. Weird, huh? Couple months ago I wouldn't have even believed I'd see him again after all these years, let alone be falling for him again. I didn't even think I'd be coming home."

Rob was frowning a little, silent yet again. He seemed intent on the road, but there was more to it than that. He glanced briefly at Charlie and cleared his throat. "I wouldn't count your chickens, Charlie," he murmured, wondering if his mom had put any booze in that care package, because he could use a quick shot or five. "I ain't sure he's gonna get into anything if you don't get a transfer out East. Distance is... he ain't seeming so confident about it. I know him, I've been talking to him. I just know in my gut he'll be thinking the only reason you're even in the same place right now is because he's injured."

Charlie was still listening, but she had finally started to open the care package from Rob's mom. She felt the tears well again as she caught sight of the dark chocolate, perfume, and other little knick-knacks. She blinked her eyes rapidly as she sniffed, and reached into the bag to fish out one of the chocolates. "I know, I think that's part of why I'm so pissed at myself. I knew about the distance and everything... But I'm home. His leg didn't have anything to do with that, it was just time. I guess he'd be in New York though if he wasn't hurt, right? Shit. Can I at least just give him a damn hug?"

"Hope so," was Rob's reply and he met Leila's gaze in the rearview mirror. "There were some days I tried to push Leila away. I ain't really sure where Mike's head is right now. Probably just relieved to be outta there. Still, heart might be home but the head can stay over there, you know? I just know it's different for him, he ain't a fighter, he's a medic. We see bad things, but he's gotta get in there and try to pluck out the shreds that can be saved. It isn't like this was a battle where you're fighting to get ahead, it was the aftermath of that. Some lads' last chances out there. Gotta be a mind fuck sometimes. We come home to get away from fighting, but he comes home to get away from helping people?" He gave his head a small shake. "Ignore me, I tend to ramble these days. Brain gets away from me. Thankfully not during sex," he had to joke.

"Oh, I don't know," Leila murmured as she smirked and winked at him in the mirror. "I'm sure your mind does go somewhere while we have sex. It's just beneficial to the act. You did try and push me away, but lucky for you us Aussies are made of tough stuff, we don't take shit from anyone. Mike will probably try, but you know what?" Leila asked Charlie as she looked at the other woman. "It helps them to know that you aren't going anywhere. Even when they are being stubborn pricks. They don't want to be seen as weak, or hurting, or whatever... but the whole thing of it is that they still need someone to take care of them, comfort them. And there's no shame in that. Just takes their brain a little while to catch up."

Charlie nodded slowly, and bit down on the bittersweet chocolate. She let out a sigh as her head fell back against the headrest. "Of course it's a headfuck. It's a huge one. Just like for us it takes some adjustment to not be waiting for someone to give us orders to kill, or do whatever. I can't imagine what it's like for him... If there's any guilt at play for being back here when he probably feels like he's still needed over there. That more soldiers could be saved if he was."

"It ain't about being seen as weak," Rob mumbled and put a hand up to scratch the back of his head. He didn't want to get aggravated. Once that set it, it was hard to shake, and he would inevitably feel the urge to just get blind drunk again, which was a bad idea considering Mike let him in on the secret that he was rather loose-lipped when he was boozed up. "It's about knowing you are," he finally added quietly.

Leila fell quiet in the back seat as her gaze dropped to the camera now sitting in her lap. She fingered the shutter release before she sat forward again, and slipped her hand down the side of Rob's seat to rest her hand on his arm.

"We're not invincible," Charlie murmured. "I wish we were. It would make it so much easier. I just... It would make us machines."

Rob shifted his arm so he could give Leila's hand a squeeze, still driving easily with one hand on the wheel. "He just..." He paused and sighed heavily. "He coulda lost a leg. And I know, I know. He didn't, he's lucky. He's alive. All that. You still can't switch the what-ifs off in your mind. They still plague you at night when you're trying to sleep and you feel the pain settling in the weak parts of you. You can still feel the tiredness when you shouldn't be tired at all. He ain't be ready to talk a whole lot yet. I let him know I was there if he needed to, but when he's sleeping, we know he needs it. He's in surprisingly good spirits. Guess that's why I'm sorta nervous," he admitted.

Leila frowned a little as she looked between the backs of Rob's and Charlie's heads. "Why is the good spirits making you nervous?"

Charlie cleared her throat after swallowing a bite of chocolate and glanced behind her at Leila. "Higher the spirits, harder the crash. He's been out there a long while with not much down time between it. Being out there just messes with your head. Sometimes we react in different ways. One moment we'll be fine the next... not so much."

"Or no crash at all, just loads of pretending there ain't anything wrong until you wake up one day and realise you've lost yourself..." Rob added quietly and then reached over to put the radio on low when the dull silence of the car started to shit him. "It's my fault Mikey didn't get to switch off last time. He didn't have a chance."

"Rob," Leila started quietly as she looked at him in the mirror. "It's not your fault at all. You didn't plan getting hurt. You didn't plan needing everyone around you like that. Don't blame yourself. And Mike never would have let you go through that without him."

Charlie closed her eyes for a moment as she focused on the radio, grateful that Rob had done something to kill the silence. It had been getting on her nerves too, the ringing still present in her ears. "We all need anchors. Someone that makes sure we don't get lost... To give us a reason not to."

Rob gripped the steering wheel again and then forced himself to loosen up a little, drawing in a deep breath and then letting it out slowly. "Mikey made an error. Or at least someone in his unit did. The rifle should've been checked and a clear called before anyone approached the solider. He ain't talking about it, so I don't know what went down out there. I'm just scared it was him, and maybe because he was tired and... felt like he had to get the guy outta danger. Someone made a mistake. Ain't no random accidents happening out on the frontline. They're intended or they're errors."

Leila drew her eyebrows together before she lifted her glasses to rub at her her eyes briefly. "He only said that the rifle went off for no real reason. Well, not no reason. Just an accidental pulling of the trigger, I guess. He was more in love with the morphine than the finer details. Just kept trying to tell me he was okay. And that he didn't want to hope for a glass."

"Rob's right," Charlie murmured. "Ain't no accidents on the front-line. We can't afford 'em. Something always makes a dude's finger pull the trigger, even if it's stress, or fear. Mikey was just in the right place at the wrong time. We can't blame him for wanting to help the guy when he was wounded. It's what he does. Still, the clear should've been called, but maybe no one was around to call it. Glass?"

Rob swore softly under his breath, not exactly sure why he was even getting pissed off. Hopefully Mike's Dad had a six pack in the fridge when he got home. "Medic's don't go out alone. Ever. No matter what. They'd be fucking targets if they did, they're unarmed. He's telling the same monotonous story over and over. I'd say he'll have to talk about it sooner or later, but it ain't the truth. He might not ever want to." He glanced at Leila in the rearview mirror with a small frown. The glass thing was starting to get to him too. When a Lady GaGa song came on the radio, he flicked the switch to another station, putting something on that was probably way less popular but he didn't want to try and tolerate crap music too.

Leila raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, trying to read his mind from the back seat of the car. She realised just how much she didn't like not being able to see his whole expression. As much as his eyes gave away, the little twitches of his mouth did, too.

Charlie shrugged a shoulder as she turned back to look out the window. "We all got things none of us wanna talk about it. Even if it would help us too, sometimes it's easier just not to relive it. Or to keep it in our nightmares, and not force it on anyone else." She let out a heavy sigh and a tired laugh. "Fuck, would you listen to us? I either need a huge drink, or I just need to cheer the fuck up."

Rob looked over at Charlie before he had to turn his eyes back to the road. Truth was, he was just finding it hard to think like her. Something was going on with Mike and it was niggling away in his gut. "Go ahead," he murmured with a small shrug, indicating she was more than welcome to cheer the fuck up if she wanted to. "I'll just put Lady GaGa back on, shall I? At least it can be a distraction for not talking about things." He looked back at Leila. "Or you could explain to her about the glass metaphor. I'll fight the urge to drive to the nearest pub."

Leila held up her hand. "Hey, I don't want Lady GaGa. I don't think anyone in this car wants Lady GaGa. And if you want to drive to the nearest pub there's nothing stopping you. Luckily I get to remain the designated driver no matter what since I'm also the designated baby incubator. I'm not chancing a drink. The glass thing is just... Mike can't see the romantic glass as half full. His optimism's gone. Especially where, ah... certain soldiers are concerned."

Charlie frowned and twisted in her seat to look at Leila. "You mean me?"

Leila gave a nod.

Charlie stared at the other woman for a long moment. "Shit. It's the fucking distance thing again... Chickens and glasses. My love life has turned into a fucked up magic trick. I think I've changed my mind, and second the bar idea."

"I ain't going to no fucking bar. Besides Mrs Austin being worried we ain't home when she expects, booze fucks with my already fucked brain and I say stupid friggen things," Rob said with a small snort. His phone buzzed with a text message and he picked it up from the compartment under his radio to get it. It was from Mike. "Speak of the devil, and to make a point here, he ain't ever been a glass is half full dude when it comes to relationships. The optimism ain't gone, it hasn't been there since he enlisted."

"Is he alright?" Charlie asked just as Leila leaned forward to try and look at Rob's phone.

Rob glanced over at her, eyebrow raised. "He's fine. But that just must mean he's optimistic, right?" he asked with a hint of challenge to her in his tone. He didn't let her see the screen and typed in a quick response so he could go back to focusing on the driving. "He's asking me if I'm okay. His Mom told him I needed fresh air."

"No," Charlie responded as she glared at him slightly. "I wasn't the one talking about optimism. I mean, I might still have a little, doesn't mean he has to. Just means I have to sit on eggs and glasses, and chickens, and whatever."

Rob shrugged again. "Maybe not, but you don't want to believe he made a mistake... or maybe even purposefully caused the accident," he threw back. There was tension, and he did feel guilty that Leila was going to get caught in the crossfire of it, but it was the downside of marrying into military. Rob didn't even know why he was feeling like he was on edge right now. It wasn't his end of deployment.

Charlie's eyebrows went up as she looked at Rob. "What? Where the fuck did that even come from? I thought we were talking about his romantic life, not the accident. Do you really... you think he purposefully caused the accident?"

Leila just stayed quiet in the back seat, not sure she was ever going to be able to come up something to say to diffuse the situation. She just wanted to know what was making Rob act this way because when they'd gone to pick up Charlie he had been fine, just quiet. Then she let out a rush of air as she ran over that thought again. He'd seemed fine. She made a mental note to try and get him to talk to her about it later.

Rob's eyes remained locked on the road, hands on the wheel. Driving always kept him grounded, even if there had been the odd weird moment on the road trip when he remembered back to just how fucked up the scenario with the stupid race had been that led to his court-martial. It still pissed him off. "Why not? Soliders contemplate doing it all the time to get outta there..." he said calmly.

"Did you?" Leila asked as she finally found her voice.

"Yeah, I did," Rob said and cleared his throat as he had to slow down at an entrace to town they had to pass by. She had arrived in Houston, and it was over an hour drive to Mike's home town. He hadn't meant for things to take this turn, but Charlie's presence was probably inevitably going to dredge up things Mike's presence already was scratching the surface of. He met Leila's eyes in the rearview mirror. "After we got married."

This time it was Charlie's turn to play awkward spectator as she tried not to make a sound. Truth was she got what Rob was talking about even if she wasn't sure she'd ever truly hurt herself to get home. Even the cut she'd had nearly a couple months ago hadn't been enough to get her home. She didn't actually like the thought of what wound would be enough to get her home.

Leila's lips formed a thin line as she fought the sudden well of tears in her eyes as she held Rob's gaze until he had to concentrate on the road again. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Sometimes you just... have enough. Once you start thinking about home, it can make or break you." It was times like this that Rob wished he was a smoker to give him something to do with his hands as a distraction. He took his hand from the wheel just briefly so he could adjust his wedding ring with his thumb absentmindedly. "Once you start thinking you have a reason to... not live to serve. You have nothing to be sorry about, darlin'. It's just one of those things. But I ain't gonna lie. I was thinking about how I could manage it when I... it... was taken outta my hands. Maybe punishment by Karma does exist. It's just stupid, though. Thinking back on it, I don't even know what to think anymore."

They pulled up at a set of lights and Leila lifted herself out of her seat to press her lips to the side of Rob's face as she nuzzled his cheek briefly. "I love you," she murmured against his ear. "More than I could ever really get you to understand, and I'm still sorry you were ever in a position to need to consider that kind of... exit strategy. Maybe Karma was just trying to make sure you didn't live to regret anything."

Rob's nose scrunched up and he pulled his lips to the side. "It did a pretty fucked up job of it, then," he said with a small snort as his phone buzzed again. "Jesus, he better not start pumping me for details, I'm too tired to lie. Can't he play solitaire on his laptop or something?" He picked up his phone again and read Mike's message that was along the lines of wanting to know where he got fresh air at this time of night and why wasn't he invited along for the ride. "Aw, jeez. He's asking why we didn't ask him to come along." Rob quickly punched in 'baby making' and hit send. Hopefully it would placate his friend for a little while longer until they made it home.

Leila caught a glimpse of what he'd sent back and kissed his cheek again. If she had any say about it, there was definitely going to be baby making later, but she realised the mood for Rob might have been killed. She just needed that connection with him again, and maybe a chance to remind him he was safe home. She dropped back into her seat as the lights changed and smiled a little. "Best laid plans, Little Rock."

Charlie was actually in danger of smiling for the first time since she'd got off the bus. "He's always been like that. Remember the surprise party we tried to throw him years ago? Mike's never going to let anyone have secrets. He doesn't even do it on purpose. Just has this way."

Rob shook his head in amusement. "Pointless, the whole thing. He was always going to find out about it. He's never one to push for information, but he worries if he thinks we're hiding something wrong with us. Then we start getting panicky about the covert lying to keep the secret and start fucking up until the secret just comes out anyway. Still, he was sleeping when we left, so he must be bored now. His mom will have to entertain him for a lil while." He knew right then baby making was something he definitely needed later, and a baby had nothing to do with it. He realised he had let himself get worked up again before he could halt it. It didn't happen as often these days as it did when he first got home, but it could still creep up on him and take him down before he knew what was happened. He also knew that if he let go of the steering wheel, his hands would be shaking. Baby making would help ground him again, focus those adrenaline rushes that, according to the psych, caused the anxiety and anger fits from the PTSD. Sex was a much better outlet, as far as Rob was concerned, and it didn't leave him feel like he was teetering on a scary edge all over again.

Charlie started to take down her hair now she was getting more used to the idea she was home, and not still on duty. Her teeth caught her bottom lip for a moment, and she tried to ignore the clench of her stomach as the nerves started to set in at seeing Mike. Neither of them were probably in the greatest of head spaces right at this moment, Charlie just hoped that somehow they'd find their way onto the same page, or at least the same book. "I just hope that this time he really doesn't mind the surprise."

RP Log with tacticalmind | Choices & Decisions

doesntwaltz — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 08:30:27 GMT

[Follows all recent events posted @ sexyinscrubs, pullmysteth & randbyname]

The phone call came through around four o'clock, Luke delivering the news about Aiden and Patrick to Leila who had just paled as she listened, nodding, even if her cousin couldn't see her. The road trip had gone without a hitch until then, and they had taken their time, only making it to Maine so far but deciding to stick here for a few days when they found a gorgeous little camping place with cabins. They didn't need a cabin, though. They found a secluded place by the sprawling lake not far from a small fishing wharf and set the tent up there. There was a town close by for supplies if they needed it and the place just had an addictive tranquillity about it that they weren't ready to move on from yet.

Rob found Leila sitting down on a soft grassy patch by the lake, watching the sun set over the water. He came up behind her and sat down quietly, wrapping his legs around each side of her and hugging his arms around her waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder and softly kissed her neck just below her ear. "You okay, darlin'?" he murmured and started to rub his hand soothing across her stomach. "We can go home if you want, if you think Luke will need you there. It's okay, you know. We've had a lil bit of time away."

Leila leaned back against Rob as she covered his arms with hers, and smiled softly. Truth was after the phone call from Luke she was just suddenly feeling exhausted. Everything seemed to come slamming home again, and she realised just how quickly she could lose someone she cared about. Luke was closer to Aiden and Pat for obvious reasons, but they were still part of the extended family she'd suddenly found herself with, and one of the reasons she hadn't wanted to move back away from Luke, and Andy. She glanced down at her wedding band, and turned her head a little into Rob's kiss.

That was the other thing, she was left with the same cold feeling she'd had the whole time Rob had been gone, and the same unsettled feeling she'd had as soon as she knew he'd been hurt. She gripped his arms a little tighter and let out a shuddering sigh. "No, not really... I don't know. He didn't really say, he just... I don't know. Part of me wants to be selfish and stay away. How horrible is that? I can't even believe I'm even thinking it."

"Well," Rob began, still keeping his arms tucked securely around her, "maybe he just wanted to let you know. I mean, it's a huge thing. You should know about it. Aiden's one of Luke's closest friends, and that just seems to be how the group is. It's better you know than not in case... things took a turn for the worst. I'd wanna know if it was one of my mates, or even a mate of a mate. I don't think it's horrible that you want to stay away. We've had some shit to deal with too, and sometimes you just need to get away. He probably just needed someone to talk to, especially when he said Riley was having a tough time too. He'll be worried about Tab. It's just a domino effect. Did he tell you he wanted you to come home?" he asked, watching the gorgeous view of the lake over her shoulder.

Leila sucked on her bottom lip briefly before she released it with another exhale of breath. "I know. I do. I'd rather know than go home and find out all this shit happened, and we had stayed clueless. I just can't believe it... I thought things were going okay, you know? None of us are ever allowed to be happy for too long. No, he didn't say he wanted me to come home. But I don't know, maybe I should? It sounds like they might be lacking babysitters for the twins, even if I'm still finding my feet with babies. Jamie's been the only one we've really had any exposure to. I know he's worried about Aiden, and Tab. He's got help at the bar, so it's not like that's his main concern."

If Rob had to be entirely honest with himself, it was still too soon after his own accident to want to be hanging around more hospitals. He didn't say that, though. He wanted to support Leila in whatever she needed to do, even if the thought of going back to New York right now set a strange sort of panic thrumming in his gut. But he stayed calm, drawing as much out of the embrace as he was hopefully giving her. "Accidents happen, though. You said Luke mentioned that there was a chance it was the MS, so it was just one of those things. Pat's illness took a sudden turn, and it just turned out badly. I don't know if there is any real answer here, to know what to do or what not to do. Ali and Andrew are there, they'll have help. I ain't trying to talk you out of going back, I'm just saying that they all know why we had to get away and I just... I ain't sure I can go back yet."

Leila shifted a little in the embrace, wanting to curl up against Rob's chest. She could still watch the sun set, she'd just rather lose herself in her husband's comforting arms as well. Her glasses were hooked into the front of her top so she could give her eyes a rest, so all the colours were still blurred anyway. She shut her eyes, and rest her head against Rob's shoulder for a moment. "I'm not asking you to go back. I don't think I can go back. I just... I want time with you. I want it to just be you and me for a while. It's not like we're not here for them. We are, just not in New York, or Princeton." She wrapped her arms around him again, her fingers gripping the back of his shoulder. "I need it to just be us."

Rob nodded slowly and rested his head against hers. He was quiet for a long few moments, lost in his thoughts without his mind really staying in one particular place. "I know you weren't asking, darlin'. I was just trying to think of solutions. But to be honest, I ain't sure Luke was calling you to look for solutions. I think he was just calling you because he's upset and you're his cousin. Sometimes hearing someone's voice is all you need. Just keeping a link. Trust me, I know as well as anyone that sometimes, family just can't always be together. Aiden and Pat both have huge families, and we're part of it now, for sure. I don't think them, or Luke, or anyone would deny us the need to just be doing this right now..." He waved his hand in the direction of the lake, remembering how he was telling Charlie about it and admitting to her he could happily live in a place like this, open with fresh air. "I know there ain't hospitals or life support involved with us no more, but as much as I hate to admit it, I gotta heal too or I'm going to mental. New York ain't a place a guy like me can get better."

Leila lifted her head as she opened her eyes again, and brought her mouth to Rob's to kiss him softly. She couldn't deny that he definitely had a way of keeping her grounded. He had this way of helping her see her own thoughts more clearly. As crazy as it had been to marry him two weeks after they'd met, she couldn't deny she was lucky to have just kept falling in love with him, and find that she was more suited to marriage than she thought. She'd read enough horror stories about quickie marriages, but theirs had worked out. Was still working out. She wouldn't have traded it for anything. "I think he knows he can always call whenever he needs to, that the link is still there, but I know what you mean. I'd rather you didn't go mental, so we're definitely staying out here. We'll go wherever you need to get better."

Rob kissed her back softly and then laughed, looking over her face affectionately. "I'm actually really starting to get used to this place. Crazy, huh? Hardly part way in to the road trip and a tiny part of me wants to just sit here on the edge of this lake forever, buy a fishing rod, lie looking at the stars at night, pretending all that non-happy stuff ain't existing. Shame we have to live in the real world," he joked. "Thinking about it just being us, nothing but the car and the tent and the sleeping bag, maybe a nice fire to sit by at night. Makes me stop and think about life, and how much I ain't ready to check out on it yet. Thinking about thing things I maybe want one day. Just ain't sure no more if the military factors into that. Especially realising a lil earlier that even Mikey might be finally getting his act together."

Leila nodded in agreement as she twisted back to sit between his legs and stare out at the body of water in front of them. "I could do it, too. Never thought I'd feel like just... staying, but here I could. I don't even miss New York. I don't miss the sounds of traffic, I don't miss the grime, I don't miss the buildings, I definitely don't miss the rush of people. Maybe if we win the Lotto or something we could buy a second place here... A getaway just for us," she suggested quietly. "Mike? What makes you think he's getting his act together?"

"I'd like that... wouldn't even need to win the lotto, either," Rob mused quietly. He couldn't believe how much he felt connected to this place. Maybe if they had somewhere to escape to, things might be easier to swallow with his work. "Kinda been thinking about how it would be to own a place with a garden, too. With a porch swing, maybe a big bedroom with huge windows let in the morning sunlight, to just lie there on a Sunday morning, breakfast in bed..." He trailed off and laughed. "Sounds like I got too much time on my hands lately. I was chatting to an old pal from my cadet days, Charlie. She's a sniper too, but she stayed to specialise there and I moved on to Artilliary Tactics, so got transferred to Fort Sill in Oklahama, while Mikey, who also trained with us, went on to the medical side of things. We were all just typical teenagers, grew up through training together. But yeah, she was telling me Mikey pulled her outta bad situation over there. It's been a long, long time since I spoke to her, so I didn't even know she was over there. Turns out, she's had a crush on him since we enlisted."

"Wouldn't?" Leila let her eyes fall closed again, and pictured the house that Rob was describing and let out a soft moan. She could picture every little detail, even how the rooms were decorated. "Always did want a porch swing," she revealed with a laugh. "Just never told anyone because I knew it wasn't possible. Figured porch swings and New York didn't exactly go together. Not to mention I didn't plan on stopping anywhere to buy a house with a porch swing. Things are different now. I want all that... It doesn't sound like you have too much time on your hands. Just sounds like your priorities shifted." She rubbed her hand against his leg. "Okay... so Charlie's been crushing on Mike, and Mike swooped in to be her knight in cammos, and... Did they get it on? Does he secretly love her, too? Is she okay now?"

Rob wet his lips and cleared his throat, clearly hesitating and debating over whether he wanted to say something else on his mind. "I was... thinking. Maybe if I took that training job, get transferred again to Monmouth in New Jersey, we could maybe buy a proper house with a garden. Maybe somewhere halfway between the base and New York where your family are. Then we could be closer to Luke in Princeton too, like a full circle. See, I Googled, Lils showed me Google Maps. It's only about an hour drive from the City to Fort Monmouth, and then an hour again from Princeton to Monmouth. And the base is near the water, we could get a place near water there. We could maybe even still afford a cabin here for holidays. It's just... you know, a thought... maybe." He cleared his throat again, chewing his lip as he drank in the sunset. "No, and Mike's doing his brooding thing. I think. But, I've been trying to get a hold of him and he ain't gotten back in touch, so he could just be well busy. She kissed him, and he kissed her back."

Leila was quiet for a moment as she tried to figure out what Rob's plan meant. "But that would mean an hour commuting for you, are you sure it's what you want? It would have to suck for those five o'clock starts wouldn't it? Are you sure you want to travel that much? I mean, I'm not saying no. Definitely not saying no... In fact, I think maybe I'd really love that. If you're sure. So does that mean you want to take the training job?" She was still wrapping her head around the logistics, but a huge part of her felt like letting out a sigh of relief at knowing that training meant he wasn't anywhere near the frontline. "There's been kissing? Wow... Mike really has been a busy boy. So the broody thing is because he didn't want the kissage?"

Rob shook his head. "No, no... I mean, we could maybe get a place in a town that's midway of them all. Thirty minutes to the base, thirty minutes to Princeton, thirty minutes to New York," he explained. "If you look at the map, all three places are like three points of a triangle. If we get somewhere around the middle, it'll only be a short drive to all of them. I ain't sure about the training job. I ain't real sure about a whole lot right now, but I'm trying to work it out. Right now, I just gotta come to terms with the fact I ain't fit for the frontline. I might not be for a year, two years, five... ever again. It's stupid to try and pretend that ain't happening. Delusion isn't gonna get me anywhere. All it'll do is make our life stuck and strained, and I don't want that. Not at all. But it's either take the training post, seeing to new recruits, or retire. And I like New York, I really do, but maybe in smaller doses. I'm still a country boy, I still need my greener pastures and fresh air. I need to be able to feel free." He gave her a small squeeze, hoping he was at least making some sense in the jumble of thoughts. "Nah, I ain't thinking so. Brooding is probably more needing to process it, and like I said, I think he's been in the thick of it. You ain't got a whole heap of time to brood over there before you're tossed into the next situation."

"Oh, okay. See, I understand now. For a moment I was worried... Thirty minutes isn't so bad, and I like the idea of being between all of it. It's okay if you're not sure about the job, just wanted to know. Can I just be a little bit selfish - again - and say that personally I like the idea of you not being back out on the frontline. I know you're a soldier, but I just... I can't go through what we just went through again. I can't watch you go through that because I'm really not ready to lose you. But if you ever go back... I'd stand by you. Of course I would. It's not the waiting that bothers me. It's the you getting hurt that does, the you getting nearly killed. Which I realise is part of the Army deal, but I never said I'd be logical while being selfish." Leila rubbed her hand over Rob's. He was making all kinds of sense even if she wasn't right then. "I want you to have your greener pastures. I want us both to have them. Besides, it'd be better if we ever got to the point where we were ready for kids. Give them some nature to lose themselves in, and not concrete and glass. Do you think they'll get together? Or as best as people out there can? What about back here on home soil? What's Charlie like?"

Rob fell quiet, taking in her words. When he spoke again, his voice was a little choked up and hoarse. "I'm a soldier, darlin'. That's what I do and I ain't going to promise you that I ain't gonna go back because the minute they give me the greenlight, I... I have to. I would still be there now if that all ain't happened. I..." This was the part where his sound reasoning started to slip and falter, words became harder to find as he struggled to explain it. He felt like he was split equally in two down the middle. Half of him still harboured the fierce loyalty to serve and protect his country, to fight for it, to die for it if that was what it came to. And then the other half of him was terrified. Terrified of losing his life, terrified of dying, terrified of going back there, and that had a yearning to just disappear into a quiet life where he had peace and safety. We're he was happy. It was impossible for his brain to function properly right now, which was a big portion of why he was out on medical leave anyway. At the moment, he was struggling to breach those two sides of him and make any sense of it in his mind. Before he knew what was happening, tears were welling up in his eyes and they spilled over silently. He just wet his lips and looked out at the soothing view. The whole Post-Traumatic thing was hard to live. His emotions would fray and peak at any minute, usually anger, just like when he had exploded at Charlie before he could stop it, or there was this other side where the cold helplessness and sense of loss sat in his gut and made him want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers. Either way, he knew in his heart, he couldn't be on the frontline right now. He was too damaged. He needed to heal. "She's, uh... she's real sweet. Typical country gal. Tough as nails though when she's fighting. You gotta be out there. We were close pals back then, but I didn't even see she was hooked on Mikey. She kept it to herself. But you sacrifice a lot when you're a soldier, and that even starts when you're a cadet. That mindset is pumped into you from day one, screamed in your face over and over until you just wake up one day thinking, living, breathing like a soldier. It's marked on your soul. But I ain't sure what they're gonna do. They might never be on the same home soil together. Charlie's based in Texas for one, Mikey's in Jersey. They ain't anywhere near in the same units, completely different specialties. Same as why I ain't seen either of them til I was moved to New York. I was in Sill at Oklahoma, different unit and specialty all over again. You don't cross paths much. It's why I was so suprised when she was there and I was talking to her, let alone her telling me she hooked up with Mikey."

Leila's fingers slipped in between his as she hugged his arms even tighter around her. Sometimes it didn't feel like she'd get enough of him, like she just needed to be embraced to the point where she was swallowed up by Rob. Especially now when they did have time together. She just wanted to utilise every moment. She heard him getting choked up, and noticed the change in his voice. She turned her head to rest her face against his chest, and breathed in his scent. "I know you're a soldier, I'm just having a stupid moment. I know I can't ask you to stop, and I won't. You just scare the shit out of me sometimes, that's all. I can get along with you gone so long as I just know somewhere deep down that you're as okay as you can be out there. No more explosions. Even if you can't ever promise me that." Leila raised his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm. "I love you. I just get selfish sometimes, that's all. I want as much as you as I can get when you're on home soil. You got ripped away too quickly last time. Doesn't it ever get to the point where you just want something for yourself? To stop sacrificing? Wow, it's like some kinda epic love story. It's just missing Ralph Fiennes, or maybe Henry Cavill as Mikey. But I thought it was just a kiss? Was there actual hooking up?"

Rob had to laugh, loving how Leila could just lift his spirits when he managed to lose a hold of them. "Mikey ain't British, love. Ain't sure they could really pull off his Southern drawl," he said in amusement. "Should I be worried about your fondness for hot English men?" he added teasingly and wrapped his arms more securely around her. "I just meant hooked up as in crossed paths again. It's really been a hell of a long time, I should have asked her what she thought when she first saw him. Mikey's grown up, a lot. He was a scrawny teenager back in those days. He's grown into himself, to say the least. You know the hard part of this all, darlin'? There is a big part of me right now that does just wanna do something for myself. A part of me wants to retire, stop it all, just relax and be me. I just ain't sure it's a bigger part than the soldier in me, and there is a chance that choice could get taken away from me. But if I retire, ain't no military no more. If I stay, take the training post, there still could be a chance they send me back when I'm better. My head feels like it's split into a bunch of different pieces, and that ain't even considering my heart."

"No, they're just usually the ones that wind up playing soldiers in those epic romances," Leila replied as she smiled. "You and your drawl will never have anything to worry about. Oh, that kind of hooked up. Well, now I get it. I still can't see him as a scrawny kid. Are you sure that's what he was? He's just so big... and... Mikey. Can't blame her for wanting to try it on, especially if she loved a scrawny kid and then he comes back as... that." Leila pressed her lips together, and gave a small nod. "I know, love. Just do whatever you think is right. I'll support you. I'll always be by your side."

Rob was quiet again. Doing what he thought was right indicated he had a clue of what was right, and he didn't. And the thinking was starting to make him feel tired again, like curling up in the tent and going to sleep would be a good idea. It was probably why stopping and retiring felt like such a good idea. The tiredness since his ordeal in Afghanistan wasn't easily shaken. It wasn't as bad as it was when he first got back when he would literally sleep away days at a time, but it was still there, and still constantly made itself known often. "He really was, but then... so was I. Now he still kinda makes me look like a scrawny teenager when I stand next to him," he laughed a little but it didn't last long. "I just hope he can find something to make him happy. I think Charlie could, she ain't had no one in awhile either. But I dunno. Mikey does a good job of sabotaging himself when he wants to. Have you spoken to him since he left?"

Leila gave a shake of her head. "No, I haven't. I meant to. Just our time seems to slip away from us even when we're just sitting here." As if to prove her point, the sun dipped below the horizon as the sunset started to come to a finish. "I miss him. He helped me so much while you were gone, I would have been so lost without him. I just wanted him to not feel like he had to be alone. He seems to have this idea that everyone else deserves to be happy before he does... That he shouldn't be with anyone. I don't think that's right. He's got just as much right to fall in love, to be loved, and missed, and cared for."

"I ain't been able to get in touch with him anyway. He's probably out on a tough assignment. You don't get a lot of time to yourself." Rob watched as the last of the sunset slipped away and it got just that little bit darker around them. "Yeah, I owe him. He was still helping me even when I was back and having that weird breakdown. I got used to having him there, so it was hard to say goodbye. Never thought I'd let something like that get to me, but I did. Another reason I was sort of needing to get away for a lil while. He's just a typical Southern guy next door. He ain't wanting to hurt anyone, he can't live with himself when he does. I don't think it helped with his whole outlook on long-distance relationships when he witnessed what you went through with my shit. We should maybe think about getting that fire lit. It's still cold at nights. Ain't gonna do either of us any good to catch a cold."

Leila ran her tongue over her lips before she gave a little shiver in anticipation of the coming cold night. It might have been spring, but the nights were still very cool, and Rob was right about needing the fire. She released his arms reluctantly and gave his leg a pat. "Then you better get moving Mr Army Man. I'm not the one with a billion Scout badges, or whatever the fuck you guys get when you do something awesome. Mike didn't mind helping you. He wanted to, he just felt for you the whole time. He felt like shit when he found out he had to go - he didn't want to abandon you when you did need him." She bit her lip briefly as she turned to look at him. "I know it probably didn't help, but I was hardly going to be able to hold myself together during all that. It helped having him, and it helped having my family. I was lucky."

"Medals..." Rob murmured quietly as he moved to stand up, brushing his jeans off. They wanted to give him medals for bravery in relation to the whole ordeal, but so far, he hadn't made any moves to accept them. He just left New York without giving them an answer. He didn't want to be decorated for it, or reminded of any of it. He moved over to the car and unlocked the trunk to get some things out for starting the fire and making dinner. "Of course he didn't mind. He would die for me if it came to that... I'd die for him. We all know when you get that call, it's just the way it rolls. I just hope they don't keep him too long. He needs rest, and a break. He wouldn't have stayed if he didn't wanna help you, darlin'. He'd die for you too. It just emphasised a lot of his fears. It emphasised all our fears. Until it happens, you ain't ever really stopping to think it could be you one day. Not really. You'd go crazy if you did." He tucked the supplies under his arms and then closed the trunk again.

Leila brought her knees up under her chin now she didn't have Rob to keep her warm, and watched him as she let out a heavy breath. It all reminded her that she did want to check in with Rob, Luke, and Andy. Luke might have called, but she was still thinking about him. She made a mental note to send emails in the morning. Rob had mentioned the medals to her briefly, and she knew better than to press him about that topic. "I don't need him dying for me, I need him coming home. I want to know my boys are safe. I feel like a mother hen who's chicks are suddenly sent off on scary chicken missions, and she doesn't know if they'll come back."

"He ain't coming home yet, love. No sense sticking on it, it'll only make it harder to deal with," Rob advised, as much as he was struggling to follow his own advice. "And that ain't all a safe mindset to be living in with a military family. At risk of sounding like a real prick, which isn't my intention, your family on home soil could use just as much of that motherly hen worry as we could out there. They ain't all having the best of times. Luke's just become an uncle again, too. Mikey's tough and he's amazing at what he does. He'll be fine. Us soldiers out there, we need him."

"I meant them as well," Leila replied as she pushed her fingers through her hair. "They just kinda got lumped into the metaphor. But I know what you mean, and I'm stopping. See? No more worrying. Well, about you two. I'll keep worrying about Luke and maybe Andy. He's all quiet at the moment, so that's either good, or bad. The twins sound like they're doing okay, though. I can't believe all the babies we're suddenly surrounded by. Just reminds you life keeps moving."

Rob nodded and crouched down by the fire that was mostly already built from the night before. He started neatly building more wood around it so he could get it lit again. "They could use some quiet. I'm sure you woulda heard if there was something up. Was he heading to Princeton to be with Luke? Two sets of twins was pretty full on... I think I might be kinda jealous," he murmured with a small laugh. "Despite the shit, they all seem fulfilled, content."

"You want to start a family?" Leila asked him quietly, taking her glasses out of her top now that it was dark so she could see better. Her gaze stayed on his face as she watched his reactions. "I don't know, neither of them said what Andy was doing, but I'm going to assume it's a possibility. The bunch seem pretty good at moving when they need to, and gathering everyone together."

"Isn't Andrew's best pal a paramedic in Princeton now? Evie's sister. If she was involved too, there's probably no question they'd all go to Princeton to help out where they can, even just to make sure things were okay. They're tight, it's how it works. Still means the world to me that Ali brought y'all to see me in the hospital on the day of her wedding." Rob realised he had outright avoided her question initially and he cleared his throat, glancing up at her briefly before he lit the twigs beneath the wood pile and the fire started to spread straight away, crackling softly. "I wouldn't mind, I just don't think it's the best time right now. Everything's so... uncertain."

Leila hummed quietly. "Still means the world to me that she brought me to see you, too. I thought I was going to burst into a puddle of tears. Still don't know that I'll ever repay her enough. She just knew." Leila unfolded so she could move over to Rob, staying on her knees as she kissed him. "I'm ready to have your babies whenever you're ready, Sergeant. My womb is yours. Never thought I'd be ready, but I want kids with you, Littlerock."

Rob rested his head against her forehead, feeling those niggles of emotions trying to rise in him again. "You don't know how much I would love to just say let's go for it right now. Part of that whole peace package, I guess. I just... having Jamie 'round and being involved with your family, it's been an honour to watch it, be part of it. Makes me wonder the what ifs a whole lot, you know?"

Leila kept her hand against his cheek, her thumb rubbing against his skin. "Yeah, I know. We'll just be sure to offer our babysitting services a lot. We'll just help them out, and keep our own kidmaking on the backburner. It's fine. Really. It's better you get the time to work out your head, and where you're at before we even try."

Rob shifted so he could sit down beside the fire, enjoying the warmth it was already affording. He loved camping, he loved watching the stars, feeling that freedom of the open spaces, the simplicity of it. It wasn't everyone's taste, and he was glad that Leila seemed to be enjoying it. She never complained about being uncomfortable, sleeping in a tent, eating boring food, being in the car for hours. It was just being together, and it was nice. They were really starting to make up for the time they hadn't had together, and even if they had done things a little skewed compared to normal, he didn't care. This was way better than conventional. "It doesn't need to completely go on the backburner," he told her with a smile. "We can talk about it, think about it. Other soldiers have children, they seem to make it work. It ain't something we really talked about before... It's nice."

Leila sat behind him this time, wrapping her arms around her soldier as she rest her chin on his shoulder, and watched the crackling fire as it started to build in intensity. She really didn't have a complaint about this trip. She'd never needed luxuries, and Luke and Andy had made sure she was well versed in camping and 'boy' activities. The stints in the car didn't bother her either, she just watched Rob enjoy being behind the wheel of his other girl. "Okay, so we'll talk. And it is nice. It's definitely nice. I love you."

Rob watched the fire and wet his lips. He glanced over his shoulder to see her face, forehead creased curiously. "Are you sure you would be ready for kids?" he asked her and couldn't help but smirk just a little. Her sitting up behind him like this was turning him on. Obviously, a male anatomy knew when its duties were being discussed. "What changed your feelings on it?"

Leila must have sensed a shift in Rob because her hand started to drift south without her even thinking about it, her fingers resting against the bulge in his pants. "I think I'd be ready for trying. It's not always going to happen instantaneously, is it? Andy and Ali are proof of that. And I think... I don't know. I think I'm just ready to finally give someone everything, including kids. You changed my feelings on it."

Rob shook his head. "No, it doesn't always come easy. Sometimes I assume it does, or the world wouldn't be in such a screwed place with all these teen pregnancies around the place. Then I guess there is always a chance either of us won't be top notch in that area. I mean, I wouldn't know. I've never been tested or anything. Ain't like having a good sperm count makes you a good fighter." He drew in a long breath at her touch. It didn't seem to take much for him to go from a little aroused to full force just knowing she was there. "It's a big thing. I mean, yeah, I'm out at the moment, might not ever go back. But wouldn't it be harder for you with a kid if I did at some point?"

"Definitely a big thing," Leila murmured as she kissed the back of his neck, and she started to rub her hand against his erection. "I don't know if I can have kids, either. Should we get tested, or just leave it? It's not like I've ever needed to try before. Harder? No, I don't think it would be. I'd have them to look after, to make sure they were okay. A piece of you always with me kinda deal."

Rob let his head fall back against her shoulder, exhaling softly when she started to rub him. He put his hand behind him and started to thread his fingers through her long hair. There really had to be something to be said for this sexual healing thing. Since they left on the road trip, they must be notching up a quota of having sex at least three or four times a day. They weren't beholding to anyone, and stopping on the side of the road or making the most of the tent had become second nature to them. He didn't always have the energy for hot, heavy sex, but that's what was nice about it. It didn't always have to be like that. Waking up spooning and then taking her from behind before they even contemplated getting out of bed was often what helped him have the strength to get up some mornings. "You know, knowing our luck, we'd make good on the first shot," he said with a small laugh. "A piece of me that cries, drools, pukes? Still, when you see the way Jamie looks at Ali and Andrew, there's gotta be something amazing in that."

Leila turned her head to press her lips against his throat as her other hand rest against his thigh. They'd managed to fall into an easy rhythm during the trip, and she loved it. She finally felt like they were getting their chance to work out just what their marriage was about. Her hand moved slowly, almost teasingly as she worked on creating friction. She wasn't going to snap open his fly just yet. Not that they were likely to get caught. The camping ground was relatively tired, and they'd had it mostly to themselves today. "We probably would. You are a sniper, after all. Yeah, that kind of a piece of you. Something wrong with that? I think there is. There really is. And when you listen to them talk about her..."

"Oh jeez, darlin'.... you trying to kill me?" Rob asked huskily, unable to fight the urge to push his hips forward and try to invite at least a tighter grip. The soft, teasing touches were driving him crazy. It was true, there wasn't anyone around in close distance to see them. In fact, they could probably fuck right beside the fire and not a single person would pass by. That notion alone piqued in his mind had Rob growling softly with arousal and feeling his dick twitch in his jeans. Sex by the fire, under the stars. It was more than appealing. "You've really been thinking about this, haven't you? It'd be a lot of change... naturally, I'd worry about y'all being alone when... if... I go away again. But you wouldn't be alone, and it ain't like they wouldn't have great aunts and uncles around. What about your work, though? You've already put it on the backburner. Don't you miss it?"

"My photography? Sure, but I could just change course with it. Harri was talking to me a little about some freelance work, and I could always just set up my own studio. Hell, we we buy a house with a garage, or something, and if you don't mind - I could just convert that into a workspace. Put up a cheap wall, paint it white, get some studio lights and stuff." Leila bit down softly on his throat, and flicked open his fly finally so she could slip her hand into his boxer-briefs and wrap her fingers around his cock to stroke him more firmly. "I don't want you dead, I just want you hard. And yeah, I've thought about it a little. Ever since all the babies started popping out amongst our family. Ever since I came back and Luke and Andy have been quizzing me. Ever since I came back and married you."

Rob scrunched his nose up just a little. "What do you mean, if I don't mind? You think I wouldn't? Why would I mind?" But his breath caught in his throat as soon as her fingers were around him and he groaned in pleasure, wondering if it was possible to actually be any harder than he was because when she had him like this, it felt like he never wanted to be satiated. He was selfishly glad that sex drive hadn't been overly affected by his injuries. There had been a possibility it could have, and in the early days it was on some level, but only because he was in too much pain. In fact, when he had spoken to the military psych, one of the first questions she had asked him was whether he was having any problems with sex. He had literally just blinked at her and laughed a little, answering in the negative. Getting blown up wouldn't be enough to stop him wanting his wife as much as he could have her. "You don't worry it might be hard with me all... screwed in the head? That might... there's a chance I'll always be screwed on some level. It's too soon to tell."

"You got your other baby to worry about," Leila murmured as she continued to pay attention to his throat and neck. It was amazing neither of them were permanently black and blue from all the marking. She rubbed her nose against his skin in an Eskimo kiss as she smiled. He always smelled good, tasted good, felt good. There was no way she was ever going to get enough of him, or be able to give him enough. She loved making him come almost as much as she loved sex with him. "You might want to use the garage for your car. Can't just keep it in the driveway, can you? We don't need to do it now. I'm talking about right now... And I know you might always be screwed, so if it's not an idea you're comfortable with then... I mean, not having kids won't be the end of the world. It's not a concrete thing. We just agree to keep talking about it whenever we want to."

"So we get a double garage," Rob murmured with a slight shrug. "I'm not leaving her parked outside. I'll buy an extra bedroom and keep her in there if that's what it comes to." His tongue darted out to wet his lips and he found himself pushing back against her so he could move with a little more ease. Some nights, he was just dumbfounded at how much he had sacrificed with his ex-wife. He had gone for so long without any sort of intimate affection or contact, despite being married. He had convinced himself she really was just tired, or whatever other excuses she fed him. He convinced himself it was him, and that she would want to touch him again at some point. With Leila, it wasn't even in the same realm. She made him realise he wasn't actually a leper in bed, that his cock wasn't so unpleasant to to go near. It seemed shallow, but everything Leila gave him helped him feel alive again and he couldn't help but thrive on it. He couldn't ever get enough. "Truth is, I ain't sure I'll be a good dad..." he told her quietly.

"Well, I could set up in a bedroom. Just figured we wouldn't want strangers tromping in and out... So maybe the car goes in a room. Or we get something with some kinda separate rumpus room. I don't know, let's just check for a house, and then we'll figure out who goes where." Leila tried to make sure her rhythm didn't falter with his last comment as she frowned a little. They'd had deep and meaningfuls while indulging in foreplay before, so it wasn't anything new. "Why not?"

After a moment of thought, Rob nudged his hand down his pants to tuck his fingers around her hand, giving it a small squeeze as he felt her working his cock expertly. He would return it all, without a doubt. He was already thinking of all the ways he wanted to kiss her, touch her. "I ain't real sure. I know that sounds like a cop out. I just look at all the others and ain't sure I got what it takes. I'm really a selfish prick deep down. This whole road trip is proof of that. When the going gets tough, I piss off. Get a lil worried I'll screw a kid up, you know?"

Leila rest her head against his as she moved her free hand to rub his stomach soothingly. "Here's the thing, Littlerock, it's okay being this kind of selfish. It gets you through, and it's about healing. It's also our Honeymoon, and a way for us to get our time together. And if we had a kid you wouldn't be screwing them up. We'd get it. They'd get it... They might even be able to come. I know you can't always plan when you need to get away, but maybe we just need to agree there should be family holidays regularly, and stuff... Whenever you're around to have them. Need them..."

Rob turned his head to look over her face. Some days, he was just still awed she wanted to be married to him, let alone that she was. He had no words to express to her how much it meant to him that she just got him, unconditionally. "I love you, darlin'," he murmured and then shifted a little, slipping his arm around her waist so he could start to kiss her deeply, trying to show her how much she meant to him. As much as sex under the stars by the fire sounded appealing, truth was, anything, anywhere with her would always make him feel like the luckiest guy on earth.

musesandlyrics | 5.1 HG Wells Quote

doesntwaltz — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 08:29:42 GMT

5.1. "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
H. G. Wells

[co-written with notskywalker & tacticalmind]

It was a weeknight, so The Bondi wasn't very busy except for a steady trickle of musicians coming into jam with others, and a few people having some casual drinks after work. Luke was up in New York for a few days to get the paperwork done, so while he wasn't technically working, he was there behind the bar because he couldn't help himself. Leila technically was on shift, but she didn't actually need to be there because there was plenty of staff to cover the patrons. She had come, though, and brought Rob along with her, mostly so she could catch up with Luke for a little while. After chatting on and off about their Part Three's issues with not getting any newlywed sex, Luke paused in his polishing of a tray of glasses and pointed with one to Rob who had struck up a conversation with a small bunch of sailors at one of the booths across the bar.

"Should I be worried about the quality of my booze? I've offered him freebies all night and he keeps sticking to orange juice. Saving his mojo to pound you into the mattress later?" he asked in amusement, shaking his small towel out and putting the clean glass into the tray. "You know what they say, a guy's cock stops working properly when he's pissed."

"Is that what say?" Leila asked as she smirked at him. "I could have sworn it was more like a guy's cock doesn't get a chance to start working once he's passed out. You experienced some issues with the wife?" She leaned on the bar, and watched Rob. Her expression shifted as her eyebrows drew together. "He went out on the piss with Mike. Needed to get hammered after his appointment with some blokes on the base. The ones that decide if he's fit enough to go back to duty, or not."

Luke watched the military posse for a few moments and then shot Leila a wry look. "Bad news, then? I mean, don't get me wrong, he's looking better than he has since you brought him back, but I got a feeling he was a little off his game. Still friendly enough, though. He doesn't seem to have any trouble striking up a conversation. How have things been going for you since he got back?" He watched the scene for a few more moments and then smirked at Leila. "I think there's a chick asking him to dance."

Leila shrugged a shoulder as she pulled her mouth to the side before lifting her glasses to rub tiredly at her eyes. "It wasn't the greatest, but I have yet to needle much information out of him. Mike just said that he's got to wait about six months, and they offered him a training position. Apparently that's military speak for 'we think you're fucked, here's a desk job'. He wouldn't see combat again. He will be feeling like he's let himself, his country, and everyone else down." Leila sighed. "Can't blame him for wanting to get drunk. He really was pissed as a fucking skunk, though. I even got dirty voicemails, and texts. Mike thought I'd want his testicles as payment for getting Rob drunk." Leila had been laughing a little, but it stopped as she straightened up, eyes fixing on the chick talking to Rob as she watched. "That better be all she's asking him."

Luke nodded. "Fuck, yeah. That's some friggen huge cross to bear. What, does he just feel like he's turfed out now, used goods? Doesn't it even matter that he was hurt doing what he does? Isn't he a Sergeant now? What the fuck does a desk job mean in Sergeant realms? But then, he'd stay in the country then, wouldn't he? You wouldn't have to worry about him getting sent away or blown up again. Is he really that fucked up?" He smirked, though, raising an eyebrow at her. "How dirty? If he made sense, I'm as jealous as all fuck of him. Every time I try it, it looks like I'm speaking in tongues. How much do you want to kill her right now?" The woman was leaning on the table in front of Rob, clearly trying to give him a view right down her top. Rob held his left hand up, indicating his wedding ring and then pointed in the direction of the bar with a laugh. Still, the woman wasn't that deterred.

"Yeah, pretty much. He feels like he's worth shit now. At least, that's what Mike got out of his drunken ramblings. I don't think it much matters that he got hurt right now. He's just feeling like he's been dumped out with the trash." Leila gave a small shake of her head. "I don't know. Training other soldiers to do what he can? Yeah, he'd stay. And no, I wouldn't... for six months at least. They seem to think he is, and Mike's worried about what he's starting to remember." Leila snorted. "No, you're safe. I think I could just tell he was meaning them in a very dirty way. I'm sure Tab still appreciates your tongue." Leila's teeth bared a little when she realised the stupid bimbo wasn't letting up. "A lot. Fucking whore needs to work out how to stick to single guys."

"Am I allowed to ask him about it or hasn't he spoken a lot to you yet? I don't want to piss him off if he's still trying to wrap his head around. Even six months out of action is a hell of a long time for someone who is usually like top in the action game. Does he seem fucked up to you? I mean, you're with him the most, you share his bed. What about fucking? Please tell me you're still fucking, because I would go out of my mind trying to figure out how to help you and Andy in that capacity." Luke started to take some bottles out from under the bar to restock the spirits. "You are so jealous. Your jealous streak can be fucking scary. I still want to know how he would react if someone tried cracking onto you. I say he's got a streak of temper in there somewhere. Have you ever seen it?"

Leila turned enough to reach out and tug on Luke's hair before ruffling it affectionately. Then her eyes were back on the stupid cow trying to get into her husband's pants. She picked up a wedge of lemon from the container behind the bar and sucked on it before she took aim, and tossed it at the bitch. "You can ask him if you want, it's fine. I'm hardly going to make you wait for him to talk to me. I'm just taking it easy on him at the moment. He had a killer hangover that lasted a while, and he's still... a little tender. He's trying not to seem different, but he is. We're still fucking, so you're safe there. Rob's very keen now he can move properly. Or as close to. Shit, I still don't know how to help Andy. I tried, and failed." She raised her hand to blow a kiss to Rob when he turned to find out where the lemon had come from. "Scary? Me? Don't be silly. I'm an angel. Rob told Mike as much. I say he's got one too, but I haven't seen it. You're just evil."

"An angel?" Luke snorted with a laugh, but he was looking at her with a far from innocent look in his own eyes. He scanned the length of his bar and then without a word, moved to the end of it, leaning over to have a brief conversation with a guy sitting there on his own. Luke kept his back to Leila so she couldn't see what he was saying or what he was doing. When he returned to her, he flashed her an innocent, butter wouldn't melt, smile and reached up to drop a fresh bottle of vodka into the holder, shaking it to get the bubbles to the top. "Why haven't you talked to him? Because he was hungover? I guess he was boozing to drown his sorrows, he was a write off but at least Mike was with him. Did he make sure Rob didn't hump a bar stool or something? What's your plan of action, just leave him to brood on it, hope he'll say something when he might not if he really has a buggered head right now? Andy's a lost cause right now. I was over there earlier and Sex and the City reruns were giving him a boner."

Leila narrowed her eyes as she watched her cousin, but it wasn't as if she could accuse him of doing anything. For all she knew he was just serving someone. Only no drinks were poured, and she didn't even know if he knew the guy. "I tried, but he really was just in a lot of post binge pain. He drunk nearly a whole bottle of whiskey on his own. I'm glad Mike was with him, even if my other soldier's wound up with a guilt complex. Poor boy needs a decent shag." Leila tilted her head. "Seriously? Fuck... I knew it was bad, but that is bad." Leila noticed the man Luke had spoken to start to move up the bar, and she followed him, something not feeling right. "Lulu, what did you do?"

"It's bad. He needs to talk to her, but she's doing a good avoidance job. I get a feeling he's right, she's scared he'll knock her up again, then she'll have another miscarriage." Luke poured two drinks, scotch and soda, placing them on the bar in front of Leila. "It's not easy to talk with your head in the shitter, either. That much booze and he had to be barfing up a few vital organs. No wonder he's been sticking to juice all night. His stomach probably isn't attached to his GI tract anymore." He was smirking at her deviously by now, but didn't say anything in response to her question. In fact, he was interrupted when the guy he had been talking to came up beside Leila with a smile. Luke took the opportunity to purposefully knock an empty glass tray onto the floor behind the bar, causing a loud crash when it hit the ground and, as hoped, it caught the attention of Leila's soldier.

The guy leaned in close to Leila. "Hey, I hear you work here," he said to her, smiling. It wasn't sleazy. In fact, Luke deliberately picked a guy Leila couldn't just thump in the face by default. The guy was a lawyer, and cashed up. That's why Luke picked him for his evil deed. Luckily he did let the guy in on what he was doing and offered him free drinks for the night.

Leila had looked for Luke to thump him in the face instead, but her cousin was hiding, so now she was stuck with the suit. She was all too aware of her husband being metres away, and she hoped like hell he was looking elsewhere. "That's right. Please don't tell me you're going to try and ask me to do my Coyote Ugly impression. I might have to knock myself out."

The guy tilted his head with a small smirk. "Was never much a fan of that movie. I prefer my drinks served off a bar without boot prints all over it," he told her with a laugh. He leaned in even closer so their shoulders were touching. "I have a confession to make. Your boss offered me free drinks for the rest of the night to make it look like I was hitting on you. Something about testing your other half's loyalty."

Rob's eyes hadn't left Leila since the tray was knocked behind the bar. At first, nothing looking amissed. Luke was behind the bar, Leila was sitting in front of him where she had been most of the night. But then some asshole was walking up to her and talking to her, which was enough to get Rob shifting in his seat, though he had hesitated when one of the sailors asked him where he was going. Maybe the guy just thought Leila was someone else. But when he touched her, it was not fucking on! He was out of his seat, swooping over to the guy and banging his hand down on the bar loud enough to set the glasses in the vicinity jumping. "What do you think you're doing, pal?" he demanded, leaning close into the guy's personal space. Up the bar, Luke just stood there, smirking but had the decency to try and hide it.

Leila had actually jumped when Rob slammed his hand down, and looked between him and the stranger that her allegedly loyal cousin had apparently made an arrangement with. "Rob, it's fine," she told him. "We were just talking." She tried to give the guy a look, and then just cleared her throat. He really was stupid for accepting free drinks off Luke when her other half was an Army guy. But then Rob wasn't in uniform, so it wasn't completely obvious. She now had him permanently ruffled and the top button of his shirt undone, unlike the first time he had walked into Luke's.

"That's right, mate. Talking. I don't see anyone else keeping her company," the guy returned with a smug smirk. "Gorgeous girl like this should have someone to snuggle up to, keep her nice and warm at night."

Rob just looked at the guy for a few beats, his face expressionless at first and his stillness giving out an air that he wasn't going to react further. It was only long enough to lull the guy into a false sense of security before he swung back and belted the guy firmly in the face and then seized the front of his suit in a rough grip that had his knuckles white. He forced him up against the bar, leaning over him with a few inches above him in height, sneering as he ignored the blood trickling down the guy's face, their noses barely two or three inches apart. "No one fucking touches my wife, mate!" he growled and kept the guy pinned to the bar. "I don't fucking care who you are or how much money you have, if I see you in pissing distance of her again, I'll smash your fucking face in so hard you'll be ordering your drinks through your fucking ass!"

Luke hadn't actually anticipated Rob would take such drastic measures. The suit wasn't the only one lulled into a false sense of security. Luke thought Rob had been about to prove him wrong and politely warn the guy off. Actually, he expected a bit of a heated verbal exchange and maybe a bit of shoving, but fuck! He hurried over to the scene with a stunned, "Rob, Jesus Christ!" The guy's nose was pouring with blood and his eye was rapidly turning black. It wasn't just a small smack to face, the guy was lucky to still be conscious. He grabbed a bar towel and a handful of ice to wrap up. Hopefully this wasn't going to cost him more than drinks, but at least he had learnt something - to never fuck with Leila's husband, who clearly was a silent assassin, kind and civil until he had a reason not to be. He asked the guy to look like he was cracking onto Leila, not actually flare the situation up like this. It probably would have been a lot of help if Rob's dog tags had been visible before the force of nearly thumping a guy out had them falling from behind the collar of his shirt.

Rob gave the guy another firm shove with his elbow and then released the handful of the suit to step back. He pointed at the guy, and then nodded in the opposite direction, a deep scowl on his features. "Get away from her," he told him calmly, yet his voice was hoarse and strained. Luke hurried out from behind the bar with the makeshift ice pack, shooting Leila a look of disbelief, and he pulled the guy out of Rob's vicinity, who was now cursing but managing to apologise with a string of repeated 'They better be doubles!'. He took the guy into the staff room to make sure he was okay, but more importantly, wasn't going to sue or have Rob arrested for assault.

Leila was still wondering what Luke had been playing at, and met his look of disbelief with one of disapproval. Then she looked at Rob, her eyes darkening as the surprise at his outburst shifted to something else. She couldn't help it. She could definitely be possessive but no other guy had ever been the same about her. No one had smacked a bloke in the face on her behalf, or threatened to make them order drinks through their ass. It was also the first time she'd ever seen Rob really angry. Leila moved up to him, sliding from her stool as she snaked an arm around her waist and leaned in close so that only Rob could hear her. "You need to take me home, Sergeant."

It was possible she'd find the suit again and apologise. Maybe even try and explain it away as Rob having difficulty dealing with his recent trauma. Or maybe not. It was hot watching her husband in action, and she was more concerned with getting back to their place so she could show her appreciation. Away from the suits, and the sluts in short skirts. She noticed the woman from earlier was now looking at Rob with something more akin to fear, than any kind of sexual interest. Good, Leila had her husband all to herself again.

Rob cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his mouth. He did realise there was maybe a slight overreaction on his part, but he saw red. The asshole's comments didn't help. He had maybe let his anger hover slightly too close to the surface lately, which made it hard to reign in when it flared up. He looked over Leila's face quietly for a few moments. "Just talking?" he asked her. It wasn't that he doubted her, he just had to know that really hadn't pushed as far as he had verbally suggested he would. Rob could see now just how protective of Leila he had became, and it did maybe stem a little from being cheated on by his previous wife. This was just a tiny portion of the whole thing, though. He really did not want any other bastard thinking he could just help himself to Leila, whether it be by touching her or otherwise, and he felt slightly sick to think how this would have played out if he hadn't been there.

Which caused another train of thought to jump into his head, and he frowned again, waving his hand in the direction of where Luke had disappeared with the bastard. "Why the hell didn't Luke say something to stop that?!" he asked her. "He threatens me not to hurt you, but let's some fucking asshole practically feel you up in front of him?!"

"Just talking," she replied quietly, and cupped his face with her hand to keep his gaze on her. "I wasn't inviting anything, I didn't instigate anything, he came up to me. And it should have just been talking, but the prick went one step too far." At the mention of Luke, Leila winced, and sucked on her bottom lip. She wasn't sure if she should dump him in it in case Rob hadn't quite calmed down yet. Plus it wasn't a funny situation. She couldn't imagine Rob laughing about being set up in this manner. "I don't think he realised what was going on until you'd already stepped in."

Rob was looking at her uncertainly, but glanced briefly in the direction Luke had gone. He eventually nodded, blaming the uncertainty on the adrenaline rush. His side was hurting a little from the force of the punch, but it was just a reminder to him that he didn't regret belting the guy at all. He was definitely still on an adrenaline high and needed to get rid of it in some way. Maybe he wasn't exactly quite finished marking his territory either. He caught Leila's lips in a deep kiss that maybe was slightly rough and foreceful, and he didn't care who was watching, either.

Leila had no trouble returning the kiss, her hand moving from Rob's waist to his arse as she pulled herself close against him. She had been easy on him while he recovered from his big night, but now Rob was just driving her crazy. "Take me home," she reminded him after the kiss eased off. "You're going to get incredibly fucking lucky in about five different ways, soldier."

Words: 3530

musebysentence | 44.1 Deviant

doesntwaltz — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 03:15:22 GMT

So glad I married one.

musebysentence | 41.2 Acknowledge

doesntwaltz — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:16:01 GMT

It was her first proper family Christmas in a couple of years, and Leila realised she'd made the right decision staying, and not just because she'd gained a husband.

RP Log with tacticalmind | 7th November 2009

doesntwaltz — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:59:07 GMT

The hospital discharged Rob home on three conditions. One, the home nurse visit every three days to assess his progress. Two, he rest as much as possible and only be ambulant on the crutches if it was absolutely vital. Three, he not be left alone. It all sounded pretty straightforward, but logistically, it could get awkward. Rob was glad to be allowed out of hospital, but he suddenly became painfully aware of how much obligation this was all laying on his new wife's shoulders and he started to get cold feet. Cold feet about going home, cold feet about coming back to America, cold feet about marrying her. It was just a post-traumatic anxiety and, of course, he didn't voice his opinions. He just tried to subtlely ask if he had to get discharged at that point, only to be told Leila had requested discharge as soon as he was able.

She wanted to take care of him.

Rob didn't know how he felt about that. The biggest portion of him was relieved, and happy. Happy they could be together, happy they could maybe start finding some sort of normalcy. But the other part of him felt guilty about being a burden. He doubted that she signed up for all this when she accepted his proposal. Fearing over a missing new husband at war was one thing, but nursing him back to health when he was incapable of very little? He was worried it was going to drive her away, and that was probably unfair to judge her before they even got off the mark. He was aware now how long they hadn't known each other and maybe this all really would make her change her mind. But she seemed to want it, and Rob didn't want to be an asshole and deny her offer, which is why he did indeed get discharged and sent home into Leila's care.

He managed to hold off his worries and pretend he was okay with the situation until they got home, and one-by-one, Rob's dignitiy was put on the line as he had to submit and let his wife help him. It wasn't easy. He wanted to be the one taking care of her and nurturing her, so it was a difficult mindset for him to find himself in. The broken ribs and being post-operative meant he could only use the crutches when vital, in other words, Leila had to help him get around most of the time. He was also still weak and unsteady, and again, the ribs meant things like getting dressed, undressed, twisting, bending, sitting, standing... he needed help with. He couldn't even sit or lie comfortably in some positions. He was getting better, though. It just wasn't something that was going to heal overnight. He was trying to settle and not move too much so she wasn't constantaly up and down for him, and he was almost starting to cope with the new environment, until he needed to use the bathroom. In the hospital, there had been nurses, bedpans, everything at easy nursing reach. Here, it was Leila... and he needed her help.

He let himself get to the point where he was almost exploding with desperation, which was probably stupid to start with. When he had to ask her for help, he was almost gagging on the words and his face was burning with embarrassment. This was the downside to them rushing to the altar to get married so soon after meeting. They hadn't had a chance to find that comfortable, no-holds-barred niche with each other and Rob couldn't shake the embarrassment. Leila was amazing. She didn't bat an eyelid and made some small jokes to keep at him at ease, telling him not to worry. Now that it was all said and done, she helped Rob sit back down on the sofa and get his foot elevated, and then sat down beside him, taking his hand. Rob bit down on his lip, clearing his throat and then finally met her eyes sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I handled that all really, really stupidly," he admitted, realising what a dick he had been with the situation. "I was... embarrassed. Which is stupid, because you're my wife, and this is the start of... a lot. Just ain't the start I would have wished for you."

Leila smiled at him, her hand squeezing his gently. She definitely hadn't hesitated in wanting to take care of Rob. All she had been thinking about for the past few weeks was taking care of him. She leaned over and kissed his temple. Of course there were doubts, but what else was she going to do? She was hardly going to divorce him for being blown up. She'd also grown up with Andy and Luke, the three cousins as close as siblings. There were no secrets about guys she didn't know.

Just secrets about Rob.

"What's your favourite colour?" she asked quietly, tilting her head as she watched him from behind her glasses. "Also, do you think you'd be able to use bottles in bed when you need to pee at night? I mean, if you'd rather get up to use the toilet we can do that. I'm just more thinking about you needing rest. I haven't thought of how to handle number twos yet. I can't even believe I'm calling it number twos, but I feel kind of disrespectful calling your shit... shit. I mean, your shit just got hurt defending this country." She squeezed his hand, getting rid of some lingering nerves as she rambled. "Also, I think we both know our start was never going to be conventional."

Rob looked at her and then started laughing, holding his side. He glanced at her again, as if making sure he heard her right, before continuing to laugh again. He couldn't help it, and maybe it's what he needed. "I, um..." he tried to begin, but he was still amused and it was hard to be dead serious. He put his fingers to his lips as he tried to stifle yet more laughing, and just managed to snort when he couldn't stop it. "I'm sorry. I'm going to be serious now, I am. Right... now." He tried to force his face back into a calm expression, but he was still smirking at her. "Favourite colour... green? Is that too predictable? And I don't usually need... um... number twos in the middle of the night. The bottles, well..." He scrunched his nose up. "I ain't sure I'm wanting to lay that on you. But then, I ain't gonna want to wake you either and I'd rather not nearly piss myself again. I have no idea. I didn't think about any of this. I was too busy stressing about you getting shouldered with all this."

Leila had started to laugh as well, his smiling infectious. Especially considering he'd been so serious since coming back. She lived for seeing the hints of smiles. Not that she could blame him. She could only imagine how he had to be feeling, and the things he was seeing when he closed his eyes. "I don't want you to stop laughing, but I bet your ribs do. I like seeing you smile. I know it's probably going to be hard for you to, so I guess I'm glad I just succeeded in making you laugh, even if it was accidental." She rest her head back against the sofa and shook her head. "No, green isn't too predictable. It suits you. Is that why you liked my costume so much the other night? I think we should try the bottles. And you don't have to worry about waking me up, okay? Promise? You don't need to stress about me. I'm not shouldered with anything."

Rob pressed his lips together, meeting her eyes. "Actually, that was probably more to do with the cleavage..." he told her, smiling again. "But it was an awesome costume. I ain't sure we'd get too far in those boots, though. But you could probably take out half the enemy with them." He let out a slow breath and took his hand away from his chest, settling back into the sofa. Hopefully he wouldn't have to move again for a little while, though his body was going to have to transition from rations, to hospital food, to normal food. It was only a matter of waiting and seeing. Maybe living on salad for a few days so things didn't get really messy and uncomfortable. "I ain't so sure I'm thinking as rationally as I usually do right now. It's strange, I still feel like me normally but when I feel myself reacting in certain ways and thinking certain things, I know I ain't quite right yet. I nearly asked them to keep me in so you didn't have to deal with all of this. Guess I still had some notion of romanticism in my head that we should be still courting or something. Which didn't involved you helping me get my pants down to use the bathroom. Maybe I just need a good smack in the head?"

Leila smirked as she cupped her breast with her free hand. "Good to know I actually do have some. Takes a lot of pushing up to get it like that... You know what, though? Best bra is human hands. Preferably yours, but I can be patient while you get your strength up." She watched Rob in concern as she waited to see if he was in much pain. Leila leaned forward to pick up his bottle of water, pointing the straw in his direction if he wanted some. "I would think the fact you actually recognise that you're not always yourself is a good sign. I don't need you to think rationally right now. I just need you to trust me. Just need to trust me, okay? I can do this. I want to do this. We can still be romantic. It's just going to have to fit in around this other stuff. Isn't there a law against smacking injured soldiers in the head?"

Rob's eyes inevitably dipped down to her chest and his tongue came to rest in the middle of his lower lip as his gaze lingered. It felt like a long, long time since he touched her there and he couldn't resist the urge, his hand resting softly beside hers as his fingertips brushed across the skin in the low cut neckline of her shirt. His touch was so light that it was almost giving him a sense that he was trying to make sure he wasn't dreaming it. Before he got hurt, he had definitely spent many hours in his bunk at night fantasising about her body. He even stopped trying to be covert about his jerking off as the days ticked by. He was used to the piss-pulling by his colleagues and it wasn't like they weren't indulging when they could too. "I do trust you. It's myself I don't trust right now. This is all really hard for me. I ain't ever had anyone take care of me before. Most times I've been injured has been on duty, but ain't nothing like this. I was sick a couple of years back during a posting, but again, it wasn't like this. It's like I'm waiting for you to realise it's too much hassle, or that you made a bad choice in marrying me. But I ain't stupid enough not to realise that's also the trauma talking mostly. Fear of loss, according to the shrink. And I don't know about that law, but I'm thinking one more hit to the head and my brain might fall outta my ears. It's lucky I ain't drooling or talking in tongues."

Leila's eyelids fluttered closed at the light touch as she exhaled slowly. It was hard not to react to any touch from Rob. She'd been craving it for so long, needing it, wanting it... Her nipples hardened as a shudder rolled down her spine and she bit her lip as she looked at him almost apologetically. She moved her hand so her fingers covered his and held his hand against her breast a little firmer. "You're not going to lose me, Littlerock. I'm in this for good. You even turn me on while you're all banged up. I think that's a for keeps kinda deal. I'm sorry no one's been there for you before. Far as I'm convered it's their loss. Especially if it was that bitch."

Rob knew he didn't have the strength for sex, but that didn't mean there could be nothing, right? Even if he hadn't been injured and just came home after service, they still would have been without this sort of intimacy for all those weeks. It was something you tried not to think about too much when you were apart, but as much as he hated to realise, if he hadn't been injured, they would be having extremely hot sex by now. That kinda pissed him off a little. Not for anything Leila had done, but for the situation. He let his fingers massage softly against her breast, familiarising himself with her body again, even if it was just some minor contact between them, feeling her nipple through the shirt and making a soft noise of contentment. "I thought it would turn you off," he admitted quietly. "I ain't sure why I've been so insecure. Guess it comes with the territory. We didn't have enough time to find each other before I left. We gotta start that now. I just wish I wasn't all weak and incapable of a lot of things right now."

Leila turned her face in towards him and let out a quiet moan. She wasn't about to try and jump him even if she desperately wanted to. She wanted him inside her again, she wanted to be fucked hard, and deep, and in all kinds of positions because she'd missed him, and she was being denied new couple sex as well as newlywed sex. It wasn't fair. But this... this was something, and it probably meant more to her because he was offering. "It doesn't, trust me. Nothing could. You've been through a traumatic experience. No one should be used to dealing with this, that's wrong. We can wait. We got this far. Besides, there's still the sponge baths."

"I feel like we should be naked," Rob admitted as he watched her face, resting his head against hers. "But then I'll just feel like I'm cheating you out of something more. Funny, before I left, your cousin mentioned to me about how he had to wait to be with Ali when he first met her. That it was worth the wait. I'm wondering how he did it, to be honest. I just never really thought I would be in this position. I mean, you do know what you're heading in to, and it's surrounding you twenty-four-seven out there, but you never quite stop and think that you'll be the next casualty, even if you try and plan for it. Now I just want to try and switch off from it all. Sure you ain't gonna get sick of being with me all this time? It should only be a week or so til I can start getting a lil more independence. If it's too much, you have to tell me. I'll call my Mom and Dad. They already want to meet you. They'd be happy to help."

"In all fairness she'd just had a baby, so it's understandable that she was tender. I won't be cheated. Naked time with you is just as nice as sex. Maybe even better. Okay, not better, just... intimate. We can go to bed if you want, strip off and just lie there." She brushed her hand softly against his arm, the idea of being naked with him definitely appealing. Definitely a good way to get started on the healing. "It's not going to be too much, and it will never be too much time with you. I'm a greedy whore where that's concerned. Maybe... maybe your parents should come here anyway. Help you work on switching everything off? Plus it would mean I meet them, and we don't have to worry about that. But give me a week of time that's just us?"

"Yeah, she had a lot going on, he said. He stuck by her. Ironically, he told me all this before I went away, almost like he knew. I ain't sure you two realise how similar you are, but it ain't escaped me, that's for sure. He helped Ali through her tough times, and you're helping me. He just didn't fly by the seat of his pants and propose on a whim," Rob said with a laugh, still holding his side so it didn't hurt. "I wouldn't change it, though. Not now. Even if I was anxious at the time I was doing the right thing. I'll call my folks. Maybe they can come for Christmas? Or Christmas Eve, if you have stuff planned with your family. They ain't wanting to intrude, but they're worried. Just want to make sure I'm okay. Telling them over the phone ain't always enough, you know? Especially when I'm well aware that my pain is coming out in my voice right now. It's hard to hide it. Naked in bed sounds nice... only, not like my body is all that appealing right now."

"Andrew proposing even now is the same as him flying by the seat of his pants. Actually, kissing Ali for the first time was almost as a big of a deal if you believe him. Did he tell you about him hiding in her bathroom with an erection because he was scared it wasn't appropriate?" Leila asked with a fond smirk as she thought about her cousin. "No, Christmas would be perfect. I'm not actually sure about Christmas plans at the moment, I have to admit my head hasn't really been in the game lately. I'll check with Luke to see what's going on. I'd rather your parents came so they knew I wasn't taking advantage, or being neglectful. They need to see you're in good hands. I get that." Leila raised her eyebrows. "Who says it's not appealing?"

Rob laughed softly, resting his head back against the chair as he watched her, amused. "Seriously? Poor guy. Ain't like we can help that when it happens, or hide it. I get it, though. You do kinda automatically think girls will just assume you want one thing if it accidentally happens. Did she ever find out about it? She must've thought he was ill or something. So, he ain't really the spontaneous sort? I guess getting married was a big thing, though. Ali said it was for when y'all came to visit at the hospital. They looked amazing, though. Very happy. And y'all married off now." He nodded. "I'll give them a call tonight. They told me to call them when I was up to it and not too tired. I did give them your number, though. Is that alright? Mom just gets antsy sometimes. She was worried you weren't okay, but I explained to her that you had a great family. I guess that's why I just assumed they'd all have Christmas plans on some level. It'd be your first Christmas with both your cousins in a while, right? I say? I mean, it's all bruised and some of them a really funky yellow colour, and there's the wound from the op and how is that all nice to look at?"

"He gave her the diarrhea excuse," Leila said, laughing softly. "Andrew panics in the face of being caught at something. So then he was of course the shit guy, and was worried she'd find him even more unattractive. I can't actually remember if he said she found out. Maybe it's a secret they'll share now they're married. The truth will finally come out. He's the accidentally spontaneous sort. I think a lot of the spontaneity went out the window when he slipped into alcoholism. He thinks everything through now. Or tries to." Leila smiled. "Yeah, of course it's okay. They should have my number. They're your parents. Not like they're strangers. And yeah, it would be the first Christmas for some time. I'll talk it over with Andrew, and Luke, but that doesn't mean your family can't get involved." She rest her head against her hand as she braced her elbow on the sofa. "It's nice to look at because it's you. I don't see anything horrible."

Rob pressed his lips together in amusement. "Hey, shit happens, right? Ali seems pretty down to earth. She probably just wanted to help. I think I probably would have just admitted I had a boner. Maybe blame it on nerve damage or a middle ear infection," he laughed. He paused in the conversation and just smiled softly at her for a few moments, not really alluding to what was going through his mind. "I know I've said it before, but humour me, okay? I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain. I never wanted you to experience any of that. And I know it ain't directly my fault, and all that, but that doesn't mean I ain't stopped thinking how much this has all affected you, and your life. I can't repay any of it."

Leila was nodding in agreement, but her smile faltered as Rob apologised again. She looked down as she took his hand, and threaded her fingers through it. She could see both their wedding bands, Rob's being put back on as soon as he was home with her. Leila had never taken hers off. She lifted her eyes back up to meet his, and her smile had morphed into something warmer, and softer. "I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to say. I can say it's fine, and I understand, but it's true. I was hurting, but there was nothing you could do to control it. I don't want you thinking you need to repay it though, because you don't. I wouldn't have this any other way. Having you means I need to make some trade-offs, and I'd rather make them than lose you. You're my husband, Rob. Just let me be your wife."

Rob gave her a small smile and nodded. He wet his lips in lieu of saying anything further on the subject. He would just end up repeating himself and sounding like a broken record. There was still a lot he had to process and having an attentive wife that came without strings was one of them. Even in his previous marriage, he was still mostly on his own with everything. He cooked when he wasn't away, he cleaned the house, he sat at home with the TV for company while she continued on her merry little way. If he was ill, he took to his bed on his own so she wouldn't catch it. Getting used to having Leila there without question felt foreign at first but it was getting easier every day. "Let's go to bed, get naked," he murmured with another smile. "I need to remember how to be a husband."

Words: 3899

just_1_word | 41.7 Information

doesntwaltz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 07:18:27 GMT

Co-written with a68whiskey
[Follows THIS and THIS]

Mike came into the living area of the small Soho loft apartment, a large mug of sweet black tea nursed in his hands. He approached Leila hesitantly, still a little awkward sharing a home space with basically a stranger. But said stranger was Robbo's wife, which made it much easier to breach the gap... if only it didn't have to be in these horrible circumstances. He leaned close to her and put the mug into her hands, his own hand cupping around her fingers for a few moments to make sure she actually had hold of it before he sat down beside her. He fished his cell phone from his pocket and placed it on the trendy coffee table in front of them. "I finally managed to get through to a mate with a lil bit of info," he revealed, speaking quietly.

He wasn't even sure if she wanted to listen to him; she had been in a a daze since she got the official phone call from Rob's base alerting her that he was missing in action. And on her birthday of all fucking times. There had been no further info. She had managed to get the news out to Mike and the next morning, he brought his stuff over and had been staying with her ever since. Her cousin and his wife were also squeezed into the spare room, but were out at the bar at that moment. Then there was the other cousin who's wedding was just a week away, with he and his wife making noises that they wanted to postpone in the wake of the news. Leila kept telling them no, though. Mike just stayed quiet, keeping any opinion to himself while he nursed the baby girl in his lap so her Mum and Dad could focus on Leila. Every day following for the whole week, Mike had spent on the phone or his laptop trying to get any info from any contacts. This last phone call was finally successful, but only just.

Leila had a hold on the mug, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge that it was something she might actually want to drink. She hadn't been able to drink, or eat since the news. It made for a fun hangover the morning after her so-called birthday celebrations. She had felt like she was going to die, and for a small, tiny moment, she had welcomed it. If Rob was MIA, and if he was dead, then she didn't really want to have to deal with a life without him. Not when she'd only just found him.

Her blue eyes finally moved from the coffee table to Mike's face, recognition slowly setting in. She had been grateful when he'd moved in, just unable to express it. She had been glad when Luke and Tab had come too, the words just couldn't get past her lips. The only thing she had been able to get out was a vehement 'no' when Ali and Andy tried repeatedly to postpone the wedding. Leila wasn't having it. At least someone in the family needed to be happy.

She blinked, clearing her throat. Her voice cracked from disuse, and she wet her lips. "What info?"

Mike wasn't sure if telling her what he learned would really help or hinder, though. It was basically just more speculation, but better than nothing, right? "My mate, in my unit. I was tryin' to get a hold of him all week, but he's only just gotten back to main base. He was my partner when we brought Rob in when he was ill. He said what Rob told you in that message was accurate. He recovered from the sickness and was cleared to go back to duty. He got sent back to where we picked him up from. Bear with me when I can't give you specific details. I apologise for that. It ain't like knowin' place names will make this any easier, though." He paused, trying to maintain his composure. Truth was, one of his closest mates could be dead and trying to keep his calm for Leila was getting harder and harder as the days progressed. The chances of Rob returning from an MIA the more time passed became less and less. "He told me that the day Rob went back, there were a series of battles that broke out on the outskirts of one of the small towns, not far from where the temporary base was set up. Rob would have been involved. He's an expert in what he does. There were some planted IEDs in that general area that our side didn't know about. Improvsied Explosive Devices. Common in these types of wars. They're basically roadside bombs, constructed by the opposition and planted in areas our guys are headin'. There was a bunch of explosions that day, and our guys were returnin' casualties to main base all night. Some of Rob's squadron were there, but he wasn't. There's been no trace of him or two others from his unit. That's why they've tagged him MIA. By law, you had to be notified."

Leila winced at the image of a bomb going off near Rob, her mind illustrating Mike's story. She didn't want to think about Rob getting blown up. She didn't even want to think about Rob in battle. He was in the Army, and it was what he did. It was just easier when she didn't imagine the details. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing really came out. She could feel the lump in her throat that wanted to break, but she wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Mike. It was enough he had to deal with this when it was his friend. He didn't need the wife he barely knew breaking down into a watery mess, too. "Thank you," she rasped out. "I know... I know it's taken a lot of effort. I thought it would feel better if I knew. I'm not sure it does."

Mike nodded, staring down at his feet through his linked hands for a few long moments. "Ain't really been any effort, Leila," he admitted in a quiet voice. "I'd do anythin' for him. I wasn't even really sure if I should tell you what I heard, but you seem to be the sort of person who would prefer to know all than know nothin'. Kinda like me. You process better when you ain't in the dark, no matter how much it hurts to hear. It's just... there ain't any easy way to talk about any of this. Part of me is kinda wishin' that he got swept up in a battle and saw a way out, maybe went AWOL again. I doubt it, though. He wouldn't. He would as soon as kill himself than that again. He was horrified when he realised he was AWOL the first time, but your mind plays tricks on you. It would be easier thinkin' he did that than the alternative. Bottom line is, it's been a week. If he's out there alive, trapped, whatever, a week without food and water in the wake of an illness..." He stopped again, clearing his throat. "But he's a tough cookie. Knows all the tips to survival and shit. If he ain't too injured."

Leila pushed a finger behind her glasses to rub at her tired eyes. She hated this. The only reason she bothered having a shower in the mornings was because she needed something to do. She even went to work out of routine and because she didn't want to let Luke down. She just knew she had been a liability though. Her mind on Rob, and not on her job. It was why Luke had finally just given her some time off to clear her head. She wasn't exactly sure how long it was going to take to get clear. She was pretty sure it would only clear once Rob was safe. If Rob was safe. She looked at Mike again. "What do you really think? And don't bullshit me, okay. I don't need to be treated with kid gloves. I've probably already imagined the worse. It's been a week, and you don't think he's coming back, do you?"

Mike sighed tiredly, his own sleep interrupted with nightmares that whole week as Rob being missing stirred up a lot of bad memories in his mind. "I'm a medic," he began and sat back on the sofa, arms folding across his chest as he looked up at some pictures on the wall opposite the sofa. "Less than two weeks ago, he was really ill. I don't doubt he was strong enough and fit enough to go back out but without proper nutrition and regular hydration, his body might not have the natural devices to keep him alive for very long. If he's been badly hurt, he might have lost a lot of blood. But no one knows. In sayin' that, he might have water nearby, just an inability to alert any one from our side that he needs help. It might just be safer for him not to call for help if the enemy are nearby." He raised his head again, a small frown on his forehead as he watched her. "I just have to check... you ain't expectin' or anythin', are you? I mean, Rob said you ain't, but you mighta had news since he shipped out. Ain't uncommon. Not that you have to tell me, just if you are, you should be takin' care of yourself. You should be anyway, but I didn't wanna step on your toes and force feed you or anythin'."

Leila listened, and she wished to go different words were coming out of Mike's mouth. She exhaled a slow breath and managed to take a sip of her tea. It was stupid because she had understood the realities of Rob's work when she'd agreed to marry him. She just hadn't expected to face those realities so soon. If Luke asked her again if it was worth it, she would still say yes. She loved Rob with all her heart. That was why it was hurting so much. If she didn't care she wouldn't be feeling so empty. She glanced at Mike, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "No, I'm not expecting. We were more than safe. And I will take care of myself... eventually. I just feel like my brain can't quite get the messages through to the rest of my body. I know I need to eat, and drink, but I can't quite seem to get the motivation to move. I'm scared. I'm scared, because at the end of the day, how is no news good news? And then when I get news, it's vague and official, and no one seems to know anything. You not included since you did actually find something out. I hate the idea of him out there even if he's trained for this. I want to be angry, but I'm too tired. I want to cry, but I'm too embarrassed. He warned me about this. Luke warned me about this. You warned me about this..."

"No one is trained for this," Mike had to admit quietly. "You get trained for combat, for survival. You don't get trained to stay alive if you're injured, or to stop yourself dehydratin' if you can't get to a drink. You don't get taught how to get help if you can't. That's the difficult part. But Robbo is really skilled in what he does. If he can do anythin' to help himself or anyone else, he'll be doin' it, without fail. You ain't got nothin' to be embarrassed about. I know this is awkward with me, with us ain't knowin' each other too well. I've been havin' nightmares all week and didn't want to let on to you. Just human nature, I think. But you don't need to hide anythin', especially not in your own home. You gotta process it all how you can. Thing is, all the warnin' in the world wouldn't have prepared you for the reality. How could it? He might not come home. Some wives wait forever for their husband's to come home and they just... don't."

"Nightmares?" Leila frowned in concern, finally breaking out of her daze when it sunk in that someone else was hurting. "Are you okay? Do you need anything? Is Rob the only one MIA? I never asked... I just don't--I can't understand why people do this shit to each other. I don't get it, and I'm not sure I ever will. I'll try not to keep hiding, but I don't just want to suddenly burst into tears and freak you out. I'll save those for Lulu," she told him with a wry smile. "I just want him to be okay, and I feel stupid for it. I think I'd be one of those who waited forever. How can you move on without knowing for sure what happened? It might be like Ali's BFF who was dead for a year or something, and then just came back. People had tried to move on. He was married, and his wife had started to move on, and then just couldn't when he came back. All the old feelings, you know? And his current girlfriend's knocked up, his ex is knocked up, too. They created this huge mess just so they could try and be together again."

Mike shook his head. "You won't freak me out, I promise. Robbo himself was strugglin' to contain his emotions when he was tellin' me all 'bout you. I understand. I mean, I ain't ever been in this position with shippin' out attached, but I can imagine how it would feel. Robbo's a close friend and I have felt constantly sick since you told me the news. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. I really ain't gonna mind if you lose it when you need to." He raised his eyebrows. "Well, shit. That's some busy cock the guy had. Lotta kids on the go there. But it all came out in the wash, right? Or is it still a big mess? Your cousins are nice guys. Worried 'bout you, though, understandably. I just really wish I had somethin' nice to say right now, somethin' to help you, but there ain't anythin' that's gonna stop you feelin' like you are. And I'm fine, I promise. Just happens sometimes. I see some pretty nasty things, I guess hearin' 'bout Rob has stirred stuff up. Rob's missin' with two other soldiers from his unit. A young private, this is his first postin' and another dude who is a Specialist, same as Rob used to be before he got promoted. Dude called Pete. He trained with Robbo, I think. They both got transferred to NY, but Pete went about a year ago."

"Pete?" Leila's gut twisted, and before she could stop herself the tears started to come. She held her hand up in apology, nearly losing her grip on the tea. "Oh fuck, not Pete!" He had been the messenger when Rob had been sick. The one to email her to let him know he was okay. She had no idea why hearing he was missing as well opened the flood gates, but it did. She started to sob in earnest, her heartache pouring out.

Mike didn't understand. Did she know Pete? Rob hadn't mentioned anything about that. Mike barely knew Pete himself. Only assisted him once when the guy almost lost a finger out in the middle of a battle. He hugged her, though, not really sure what to say now she was crying. It had to help her, though, even just to release some of the pressure. He felt drained and exhausted himself. Being on the phone all week with mates in various places and ranks throughout the Army had been tiring. No one had any real answers though, and it was even harder for Mike to know even if there was more info, it would be classified. Rob could actually be knowingly dead and the information just not released yet, especially if it occured from a slip up in tactics. That was something he was definitely not going to mention to Leila, though. "I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.

Leila hugged him back tightly like her life depended on it. When she'd stopped crying enough to let herself speak, she sniffed loudly and took a gasping breath. "Pete... he was the one that emailed me when Rob couldn't get through to me. Told me Rob was sick. I'm sorry, I know it was a random reaction. I didn't even meet the guy, but he just... he managed to send me that email, so I kind of feel like I owe him. I was hoping I'd get to meet him some time."

"Well, you might. Even if we knew he was okay, I don't know when you would meet him anyway," Mike told her and managed a small smile. "It's okay, you know. I get it now. When you're out there in those environments, in that situation, you're like brothers. You exist to survive out there and you go through the absolute worst together. I ain't sure how much Robbo told you. He might tell you more when he sees you next. But when you get shipped out, are there for months, and then come home again, it's real hard. It's hard to just switch off, things haunt you and stay with you. Right now, even more I heard the news he was MIA, I was tryin' to transition back to normalcy and wasn't really succeedin' so well. That's why when you're out there, you rely on each other and lean on each other to get through. Ain't nothin' wrong gettin' upset 'bout Pete. He's probably like a brother to Robbo bein' in the same unit."

"He did mention something," Leila all but whispered as she tried to wipe at her eyes, pushing her glasses up onto her head. "Said it would make it a little easier knowing I was here to come home to. I'm sorry this has made it worse, and I hate myself for being selfish enough to want you here just because it helps knowing someone gets it. If I can do something for you, you just have to let me know, okay? Please."

Mike had to nod slightly. "Yeah, I'm sure there could be argument in having someone to come home to after all that..." he murmured and managed to catch himself before he sighed. Sitting here with Leila, watching her grieve for her missing husband, Mike just couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was forcing himself to miss out on and dump a whole heap of loneliness in it's place. He still couldn't believe his good friend might not come home from the war and that was a coldly sobering thought, like being doused in iced water.

All muses referred to with permission, especially tacticalmind (Rob)

Words: 3188

RP Log with notskywalker

doesntwaltz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 07:11:25 GMT

[Occurred 16th October 2009]

Leila was slumped in the booth of The Bondi, her foot resting on the seat next to her cousin. She nursed her second beer in her hands and pressed her lips together as her mind once again slipped to Rob, and if he was safe right at that moment. He had to be. She'd already suffered through him being sick, and not being able to do a damn thing about it. She couldn't take the idea of him being injured and still not being able to do a thing. Although if he did end up in the infirmary again it would mean hearing from him...

She slapped herself in the forehead as she groaned. "FUCK! I actually want my husband to get injured just to hear from him. I am seriously fucking losing it, Lulu. I need help." She tilted her beer towards him, something else occurring to her. "You think we should feel guilty getting pissed while Andy can't even be here?"

Her birthday drinks were small with it being just her and Luke, and to be honest, she didn't mind. She wanted things intimate. There had been talk of going out for dinner with Andy the next night, but tonight Leila had just really needed a drink or ten. She'd been thinking herself in circles since she'd missed Rob's call. At least she had Mike to talk to now. He had turned her down with the moving in thing, but the offer was always open. She was being partially selfish in her reasons for asking him. It was like if she could look after him, she'd look after Rob.

Luke took a long gulp of his beer, swallowing as he shook his head. "Andy didn't come because of that. He said we should just go out and have a good time because he's struggling lately. He can't be anywhere near booze. It's that aftermath. I remember when he had it the first time around, he couldn't even eat cake or chocolate with liqueur in it. But he knows how much it sucked for you to miss Rob's phone call and the fact he's away on his birthday. You know, we seriously are screwing our birthdays over. First Andy's with the miscarriage, now you missing Rob's phone call. I should have invited some of the Princeton bunch to keep you distracted," he decided. "Or you should have invited your new first best friend."

Leila nodded. She remembered a lot of her time with Andy in London. She'd never purposely put him around bars if she could help it. Despite her working in one. And she really did shower before she got home, or as soon as, so he didn't smell booze on her. "I think we're having dinner tomorrow night... I got confused because Jamie kept giggling down the phone line and pulling her daddy's nose. Let's just hope we don't fuck up your birthday. Two's enough." Leila stuck her tongue out a little. "He's not my new best friend, Kujo. He's just a friend of Rob's. Sue me if I want to be nice to him."

Luke laughed. "She tries to eat the phone when he talks on it. That nose grab thing, you know exactly when she's going to do it. She goes cross-eyed. And look at it this way. By the time my birthday comes, your other half will probably be back home on NY soil. Stay positive, Lei. He might pull strings and give you a quick call on your birthday. Do you have your phone with you? Did you get the homeline forwarded to your cell? Have you spoken to the guy since? Sure you're not just projecting with him?"

Leila nodded again, and held her phone up. She had it on the loudest ring setting, and had double-checked the forwarding thing several times by calling the home phone herself. Why she hadn't done it the other day was beyond her. If she'd had it forwarded, she wouldn't have missed Rob's call. "Not really. I was planning on calling him soon. I just want to know he's okay. And I probably am projecting, but he's got no one here, Luke. He needs friends. He can't even shag anyone until he gets his head straight. She makes the cutest faces... She's adorable."

"Hmm, it might be hard for him transitioning back into the normal life. He's been over there for eight months, so his head is probably all over the place trying to feel normal. Fuck that for a joke. No way would I be military. I don't think I have the balls for it. Then, I used to think that about Andy and his paramedics, too. Only this guy is like a military paramedic, so it's two strikes. He must have seen some fucking awful shit out there," Luke said, shaking his head. "You should call him, tell him to come get a drink with us if he wants one. She's a fun kid, and I love watching Andy with her. She and Ali gave him this whole new lease on life, even if it's been hard."

"That's what he said. Also said he had a lot of trouble sleeping at night. Nightmares, I think. Who can blame him? They'd all have to have PTSD to a degree. No one can go to a war zone and not be affected." Leila hummed in agreement, but she texted the guy instead. Trying to yell into a cell phone in a busy bar was never easy. If Rob did call, she already had her escape route mapped out for the alleyway out the back so she would be able to hear him. "They really did. I can't remember the last time I've seen him like this. Even before... everything."

Luke picked at the sticker on the beer bottle. "Do you think Rob is going to be like that when he gets home? All weird and... odd? I mean, it's got to be impossible to just come home and step right back into normal life. It's hard enough finding your feet after being on holiday somewhere. How do you think you'll deal with that? He might not be in the mood for fucking or socialising or anything. Maybe you should just... I don't know. I have no idea. You picked a hard road, Lei. I just worry about you," he told her, pressing his lips together with a wry smile. "It was before Uncle Jack was killed. But even then, Andy was a workaholic. You had to book time in to see him. He's mellowed."

"He said he might be. He also just said that it would help having me around. I think I'd ground him... I don't really know how to explain it. Like when you were taking care of Tab. You told me about when you followed her to Princeton in the early days and she was watching her brother suffer. That's not easy either, and she could have easily pushed you away, but she didn't. It was the comfort, and the human contact that kept her grounded. I know I picked a shitty road, but I love him, Lulu. I appreciate you worrying about me, but this is what I want. Or rather he's what I want." She tried to give him a strong smile, showing him she was really okay with it all. "I'm glad he has. He couldn't have ever worked that hard and not crashed, or burned out. Which was a bad choice of words now I think about it."

Luke nodded slowly, remembering back to those days will a small frown. "Yeah, it was hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. He was so sick, I felt useless. He tried to kill himself. He cut his wrist. It was friggen terrifying," he admitted, not having really spoken about it much since it happened. "I know I'm being a pain in the arse trying to protect you. It seems hypocritcal considering we have one of the strongest family groups out there, and we have a number of spouses who have pushed through so much shit and stuck by each other to pull it off. Tara when Lachlan got shot, Evie with Riley, Aiden with Pat's illness, Andy with Ali. I just wish you didn't need to hurt so much in the process, because I know it sucks. I guess I just feel guilty I didn't get to know him much before he left. I was waiting for him to fuck up so I could say I told you so."

"Sometimes I didn't understand how you could do it, but now I can. It was easy trying to relate it to doing the same thing for Andy, or me for you, and you for me. Or you for your sisters. I just... Shit, I couldn't understand how you'd do that for someone you barely knew. Only you and Tab had a connection, right? You just wanted to be there for her, even when it was scary. I want to be here for Rob, even if it sucks with the waiting, and not hearing from him. That's all I need you to get, okay? Please, Luke." She raised her beer to her lips as she took a moment to think of each of those couples. Their strength was phenomenal, and Leila still wasn't sure she was on the same level yet. "Sometimes I'm not so sure this would have been any easier if we'd had more time. I wanted you to know him, but you'll have to wait. And hopefully you still won't need to say 'I told you so'."

"I don't understand how I did it either. Or really why I did it initially. Sure, we had a connection, but I don't think we were quite at the love stage yet. Definitely lust, and curiosity about each other. We went away to Atlantic City together and it was awesome, but the next thing I know she's calling me and telling me her brother had been attacked, that he could have HIV, and it was the most surreal feeling in the world. I guess most people would have run screaming in the opposite direction but she was alone. She didn't even have Riley because he was slipping away and I don't think she knew how to hang on to him. So, before I even realised what I was doing, I was offering to go to her and I did, then I just stayed. I helped where I could, but it was a really dark time. And I think it's very much on the same ground you are with Rob, just different circumstances. The unspoken thing lingering in the air here is he might not come home. That's what being a soldier at war is. Just like we didn't know if Riley would pull through. It's fucked up, but you just have to do what you can and what you need to do to stay sane," Luke told her and took her hand, squeezing it.

"Between you and Andy I'm kind of in awe of the men in our family. He stuck by Ali in her darkest time. You guys are strong... Tab and Ali are lucky they have you. They both did pretty fucking good. Me, I just agreed to marry the guy so I'd know if something happened. And so he'd come back to me... And because I loved him. I thought it would be too early to know, but it wasn't." Leila squeezed his hand back as she smiled a little. "I don't know what I'd do if he didn't come back... I really don't."

Luke waved one of the waiters over so he could get another drink. "Sometimes you just know. That seems to have happened with a lot of us. We'd all sort of been around the block in some capacity, but when it's right, you really do just know in your gut. That doesn't mean it's always easy to get the happily ever after. In fact, it rarely fucking is. But that's just the way it goes. All I remember is you telling me you wanted to fuck someone with a good walk. Or who had a fuck walk, I can't remember exactly the way you worded it. Do you know how long I watched the bloke at Andy's party trying to figure out what the hell a fuck walk was? I really wanted to find something bad about him to tell you that you were being stupid, but all that I kept coming back to was he might get taken away from you and you would get hurt. Then he was, and you were. I've seen clips on the news of what it's like over there, and if you think about it, those images won't even be from the worst parts because cameras couldn't go there. But he also must be excellent at what he does to have ranked Sergeant. I think you just need to have faith he can keep doing that."

"He doesn't want me watching the news. Doesn't want me worrying. Which is easier said than done, although I have kept pretty good at not watching the news. Wasn't much of a watcher to begin with." Leila couldn't help but grin as she shifted in her seat just thinking about Rob's walk. "And I am fucking a guy like that. Or will be when he comes back. I'm glad you didn't find anything wrong with him, even if I know it's your fucked up way of protecting me. It hurts, but I'll be okay. So long as he's okay. I just have to get used to the fact that no news is good news."

Luke's forehead creased as he listened to her last comment and it was just a wave of skepticism that washed over him. "That can't always be true, though, can it? How can you ever know with the Army and all the military secrecy? I won't elaborate to fuck your birthday over or anything, but I think keeping busy is a good idea. Maybe you're right about inviting his mate to stay, too," he conceded. "At least you won't be on your own."

"And I promise to have him checked out," Leila smirked, referring to one of her cousin's comments the other day. "Look, I know it's slightly living in denial, but even he said no news can be good news. He can't carry a cell phone or anything like that with him. I'm just happy so long as no men in uniform show up at my door. Mike scared the shit out of me when he introduced himself as a Sergeant. My heart stopped." She picked up her beer to take a long sip, almost finishing off her second bottle.

Luke smirked. "They barely even have enough food. Fuck living on ration packs. I swear my gut would want to eat itself if I couldn't have a huge breakfast every morning. And sleeping on camp beds. How crap would that be? Your new place is going to seem like a palace for him. All those rooms to christen..." he added deviously. He finished his own drink again, realising he was probably going through them quicker than he normally would. He didn't often get drunk. Booze lost it's shine when you owned a pub yourself. "Well, he is still technically a Sergeant, even if he isn't working. I guess it was just automatic for him. Sans uniform, though, is much better. You see shit like that on TV and in movies. How could you even react? It would suck. But at least the bloke could let you know your other half was okay a few days ago."

"Does Tab actually make your breakfast? I'm sure she said once that she didn't cook. I couldn't live on rations, anyway. It would just taste like fucking cardboard." Leila crinkled her nose, and stuck her tongue out in distaste. "I can't exactly cook either. I'm not sure he'd think my food was much to come home to. Although I am more than excited about christening the various rooms." Leila pointed at him with her bottle. "Stop being so logical! I'm worried sick about him, I couldn't help thinking the worse. It was the fact he was dressed normally that stopped me really freaking out. It would massively suck. I'd have nightmares. I'm glad he gave me the photos... He looked like shit, but at least he was alright."

Luke shook his head as one of the waiters brought them another round. Luke gave him a thumbs up in thanks, already reaching for his next beer. "Nah, I usually do breakfast. She just eats cereal. I need more than that to get me going for the day, especially if I'm going to be at the bar all day and in the night. Some days Riley, Evie and me share off when they are working, only Evie isn't working now and she tends to sleep in. Can't say I blame her. Riley's a good cook, though. He must have gotten that gene when they were dividing up the talents between the twins. Who doesn't look shit when they feel crook? Anyone pointed a camera at me if I spent four days with a puke bug and I'd want to shove the bastard up their arse sideways. It won't be long before he calls you again. He's got to rest sometime, right?"

Leila laughed, taking her own beer. "So you must get off pretty easy if all you've got to make her is cereal in bed. I think it's cool that you're all living together. Especially with Evie pregnant. I bet she'll welcome the extra hand when the twins pop out. Can you imagine? Not one, but two crying new borns..." Leila nodded. "Yeah, but he doesn't know when. I don't know when." As if on cue, Lelia's phone went off, and she only noticed when she saw it rattling against the table top. She'd put it on vibrate just in case, realising the tone would get drowned out in the noisy bar.

She picked it up without checking the ID, covering her other ear so she could try and hear. "Hello?" She stared down at the table, not looking at Luke as she forced herself to focus on the voice on the other end of the line. Suddenly the colour drained from her face, and she was sure the floor was about to open up and swallow her. "I... um, yes, thank you. I understand. I'm sorry, I just--thank you." She snapped the phone shut and just continued to stare at the table, not even sure her heart was beating, or that she could remember to breathe. Eventually she looked at Luke, still too stunned to know how to react. "He's MIA."

Words: 3152

musebysentence | 27.6 Message

doesntwaltz — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 06:34:22 GMT

It had been a week and she still wasn't any closer to being able to get rid of the gaping hole that had taken up residence in her chest since the call telling her Rob was MIA.

doesntwaltz — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:17:19 GMT

Well, shit.

just_1_word | 37.2 Link

doesntwaltz — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 05:52:25 GMT

Co-written with a68whiskey
[Follows THIS]

Mike had been posted to Fort Monmouth since he finished his training, and with the base being just around an hour's drive from the heart of New York, he somewhat knew the city. When he hadn't been working on the brig or deployed, New York was basically where his social life evolved, so he was comfortable in the city, even if he still managed to get lost sometimes. He still was a Texan country boy at heart, old habits died hard.

Soho was a popular spot, though, and a breeze for him. He'd spent many nights bar and club hopping in this part of town, and he managed to locate The Bondi without any real issues beyond managing to get his jacket caught in the cab door and nearly going ass over tit in the gutter. He caught himself before he fell, though, and saved face by winking at a hot chick walking by and flashing her a cheeky smile. Some things never changed. He had been home from service for all of a two days, one of which was spent out cold in a hotel room sleeping off jetlag. Now he was a little more refreshed, he had one thing that was vital he do before anything else. Even though he wasn't even asked to do it, he just knew he had to. He owed a friend. So, after sweet-talking one of the bar girls at The Bondi a little, sprinkling the conversation with some light flirting and making sure to drop the fact he was a mate of Rob's into the conversation, she happily handed over the information he needed - a newlywed's address.

Dressed in just simple snug-fitting jeans and a old rock band t-shirt, Mike pushed his thumb into the buzzer of the apartment after confirming the name 'Jackson' on the name plate beside it. Rob hadn't said his wife's full name, but the chick at The Bondi knew her and thought Leila was still using Jackson as her surname. Not that it mattered. There couldn't be that many Aussie Leilas in New York City, right? And to be honest, Mike wouldn't blame her if deciding to become 'Leila Laird' was a bit of a decision process for her. Double consonants were usually porn star or stripper names. In saying that, Laird was still a good strong name, and Mike knew Rob came from a good few generations of military men. It was in his blood. Mike glanced up the street as he waited for an answer to the buzzer, if she was even home. Fuck, he hoped she was home. In his jetlagged state, he hadn't much anticipated a hitch in his plans.

Leila moved over to buzz open the apartment without even thinking twice. It was probably a bad security move on her part but she was stuck on hold with the bank, and she just knew if she hung up she'd probably find out the loan hadn't been approved like she'd thought, or they were planning on charging her an extra fifty thousand for some trumped up reason. She also figured that not a lot of people ever visited, so it was more likely to be Andrew, or one of Luke's friends than some burglar stupid enough to want to be buzzed up.

She held the phone to her ear and opened up the door, getting it ready for whoever was coming up. She rubbed her eyes behind her glasses and let out another sigh. She was wearing a tank top, and her skinny legged jeans, a simple cardigan over the top to keep her warm as the seasons started to change. It wasn't long until November, and New York was usually cold around then.

Leila glanced up at the sound of footsteps, still half expecting the visitor to be Andrew. When a guy she didn't recognise peeked his head around the door, Leila hung up in surprise. "Oh, shit! Fuck it! Bugger..." she cursed as she threw the phone at the sofa in disgust with herself. "Um, hi."

Mike laughed a little, taken by surprise at the swearing and still a little uncertain about just barging in to the apartment without her even checking who he was. "Hey," he greeted her, sticking his hands in the pockets of his jeans initially so she didn't think he was going to reach for a weapon of some sort. But they didn't stay there long without him feeling like an awkward dork, so he took them out and held one out to her hesitantly. "I'm Mike... Michael," he corrected a little more formally. "Sergeant Michael Austin. Are you Leila Jackson?"

Leila took a couple steps forward to take his hand, shaking it as she looked at him curiously. "Yeah, I am. Sorry, I guess I was expecting my cousin, Andy. I wasn't really thinking when I buzzed you up. I was stuck on hold with the bank. This bloke went to check something, or other, but I'm thinking he just took his lunch break instead and forgot about me. Sergeant? Like... Army?" She looked panicked for a moment before she took another look at him, and what he was wearing. If she hadn't been recently married, she would have definitely wanted to jump the guy. Now the only bones she was interested in jumping were in another country, and sick. "It can't be bad news if you're coming dressed like that. Right?"

See, that hadn't crossed Mike's mind, either, that she would automatically think bad news and he immediately gave himself a mental slap for it. After speaking to Robbo in the infirmary, he had come up with this grandioso plan that seemed foolproof in his head. He held up his hands. "No, no. No. I ain't meanin' to scare the shit outta ya' like that, love. My apologies. Robbo's my mate, I don't even technically work with him. I ain't a soldier, see. Well, I am, but I ain't a combat fighter. I'm a medic. A combat medic, so I'm out there, just ain't shooting the gun and runnin' 'round random trenches and bunkers. More like draggin' the injured and sick dudes from them. This all sounded a lot more sound in my head, but blame jetlag. I just got this feelin' I should drop by and see you were doing okay. For Robbo. Seein' as he can't be here himself right now," he explained.

Leila still look worried, and she hugged herself tightly. Him talking about being a medic wasn't making her feel anymore at ease. For all she knew he was about to say he was sorry, and tell her Rob was dead. "Jetlag? So you... you just came back? Did you see Rob? Is that why you know who I am? Look, I'm sorry, I know I'm probably just a little too on edge. I'm just new to the Army Wife thing. Actually, I'm new to the wife thing in general. Do you want to sit down?"

Mike nodded and eased himself down onto the sofa. "Thanks. It's nice to actually sit on a sofa, to be honest. Luxury. Hell, fresh air is a luxury," he added with a laugh. "Don't worry 'bout it, really. I understand. Not that I got a wife waitin' at home for me or anythin', but I know how it goes down. A lot of my buddies do, and out there, you're like brothers, so I get it. Robbo and I are pals from way back. We trained at Fort Sam together in the early days, and kept in touch when he went off to do Artillery. Ain't ever what I wanted to do. I've been out there eight months, got back a couple of days ago. It was my team who choppered Robbo back to base from out in the field. He was real sick, barely even clingin' to his consciousness when we got there and it was pretty intense out there. He didn't realise it was me, so I went back to see him a couple of days before I shipped back, just to catch up. That's how I know." He plucked a small bunch of photos from his pocket he got with a borrowed digital camera, a few of Rob in his half-camos, half-hospital gown inelegant outfit, still smiling for the camera despite how he had been feeling, and a couple of Rob with Mike together. There were also a few in there of Rob taken when he first got shipped to Afghanistan that Mike had emailed to him off a friend. Some people were lucky to have the odd camera lying around. He handed them over to her with a smile.

Leila took the photos as she sat down next to Mike, still in shock that she had a physical link to her husband in the form of a medic. She stared down at the images, a choked sob escaping her as she touched her fingers to her lips. "Oh, shit... I'm sorry. I'm trying really hard not to be a hysterical blobby mess. Did you find anything out about what was wrong with him? He didn't seem to know much. Maybe poisoned..." She flicked to the one where he'd first shipped off. He looked exactly how she remembered him. Sometimes she hated the fact their goodbye had been timed. Part of her felt like every last minute of those few days had been timed. They hadn't ever really been allowed to forget he was shipping off. "Hard to believe you don't have anyone waiting for you. You're a gorgeous guy, and you seem friendly. Did you want anything to drink? Indulge in a little more luxury? You got any idea how long you have before you, um, get shipped off again?" She still held the photos, just staring down at Rob's face. God, she missed him.

"I got one of him throwin' up, but I didn't think he would appreciate me puttin' that in there, on account of the fact he was already a lil snippy I was takin' his picture in hospital. He ain't even got a clue I'm here," Mike had to admit sheepishly. "I knew if I told him, he would tell me not to come and upset you, which I have. Only, I know it's a good upset, sort of. I know it's just a coupla photos and not much, but you can see he's alive, relatively okay. Fever was right down when I saw him, too. They do think it was poisonin', maybe not intended for him or any of them. It wasn't a lethal substance, just enough to set the body off and impede it. He said it was all worth it because he got to talk to you. He's real in love with you there, Leila. I can see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice, he misses you. I just wanted to do somethin' for him. He's an amazin' guy, a really good friend. Have to admit I was stunned when he told me he got hitched again. After what the ex did, never thought he'd want to risk being burned again. So I know you're special."

He smirked. "I don't think I can turn you down on that. Been a long time since I relaxed with a nice drink. I won't be sent back any time soon. Not for at least six months, I'd say. I've had a few deployments close together and I need some R and R. I'll still work in the infirmary on the base in Jersey, but ain't nothing in comparison to being posted. Thing is, Robbo's been posted with the same sorta pattern. When he comes back this time, he'll probably get some timeout too."

Leila laughed softly. "I appreciate it, too. As much as I feel cheated on my Wayne's World moment, not sure I'd be able to take it in photo form. I just feel bad because I can't be there. I'd give anything just to have been curled up in bed with him while he felt like shit. I know it doesn't work that way, though. This is what I signed up for. Eventually I'll get used to it. I have to get used to it. He told me he wasn't dying enough to come home, so he's still there." Leila held out the photos for him to take, her eyes still wet. She'd managed to keep the lump in her throat from breaking, but she was still emotional. "So it was just a random poisoning? Bad luck on Rob's part?" She smiled softly, her thumb brushing against her wedding ring. "I have to admit I'm real in love with him, too. It's actually nice to meet one of his friends. Not like we got much into the friend swapping before he left. He really only briefly met my cousins before we eloped. None of this has exactly been normal. He told me about her. I still want to kill her."

Leila grinned and stood up to cross the room to the small fridge located in the open kitchen area. The place was small, so everything except the bedroom was in the one spot. "Six months?" Her voice rose up, the idea of having Rob back for six whole months was too good to be true. "You never took up the whole base housing thing?"

Mike held up his hand and shook his head. "No, you keep them. I took them for you. Well, I didn't take those other ones, but I got the dude to email me them for you. Like I said, I know it's not much but I took them myself, and just a few days ago. That's how he looks now..." He peered at the photos in her hand with a laugh. "Ain't too hot, huh? Still, better than when I scraped him off the bottom of the tent a week ago. That's all was, just a lil bit of bad luck. But you get that out there, it's all a game of luck with some tactics thrown into the mix. You just can't ever really know what the opposition is up to, not completely. And just so you know, no one is expectin' you to get used to it. Who could? It just plain sucks, you get the raw end of the deal, but he does know. He knows how much you're givin' up for him and I don't think he can quite believe it. He's just real glad you did. Said he just needed to give you the choice..."

He shrugged, smiling. "Yeah, sure. I live on base in Jersey, but I figured this time with a few months up my sleeve, I might hang out in the city, find a place I can crash. It's only an hour drive to the brig, so it's not like it's a great distance away. I like the city. Got a few pals here and it'll be a real change of pace from Afghanistan. The amusin' part is, I just can't picture Robbo here. He's a typical Southern guy, small town values. But you stick anywhere if you have a reason to."

"Thank you," Leila said, and without warning she moved over to Mike and hugged him. "It means a lot to me to have these. And I'm really sorry about the hugging. Just you're a real link to Rob. I haven't had one that was in person form before. I can't exactly hug a computer screen, or a phone. I thought I had the easy end. I'm not the one out there fighting, or getting accidentally poisoned."

"I got us a place. Me and Rob. This is my cousin's place. I'm just crashing here temporarily. When I do actually get to move into the new place you should come crash there. It would put Rob's mind at ease. He's always concerned I'm dealing with this alone. And it means Luke can go back to Princeton with his wife and not worry. And I wouldn't have to intrude on Andy when he's got a fiancée and a kid to worry about."

Mike hugged her back with a laugh. "Don't mention it. He was worried about you more than himself, so I figured I could drop by, see how you were. Your whole life has just changed. Even if you keep busy, it ain't ever really that far away from your mind. You miss him, you're worried you're going to get a knock on your door or a phone call with bad news. Way he tells it, too, you didn't really get much time. A few weeks together, then, what, a day as a married couple? That's just some fucked up shit right there. Romantic, and if you knew in your heart it's what you wanted, for sure, but that ain't makin' it any easier to deal with. Ain't stopping the pain inside when you do know you have a husband and he ain't there next to you when you wake up in the mornin'. The whole goodbye thing probably sucked, too. On the clock, people left and right, protocol. But I hear it's pretty awesome when your other half comes home," he told her with a cheeky wink.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Hey, I can't ask you to do that. It's fine, really. I'll find some lil apartment and sleep on the floor. I'm pretty easy. I ain't wantin' to intrude on you or anythin'. You hardly know me. Well, don't know me at all, really. Kinda another reason why I thought I better bring evidence that I wasn't yankin' your chain about being his friend."

Leila smiled. "At least I finally get someone who understands. My cousins... they do their best. Mostly I don't think Luke really gets why I did marry him. Why I would choose this life. It's just I never expected to find this with anyone. I wanted to grab it while I could. I'm just finding my feet with it still." Leila shrugged it off as she smiled wryly. "He got ripped away right when we should have been enjoying the honeymoon period. There is no doubt I'll be making the most of having him home. He'll be lucky if he can walk again."

She came back over with a beer and shook her head. "You're not asking. I'm offering. I'm getting used to things working fast in the Army. It just seems like an arrangement that would suit us both. You can party all you want and not have to sleep on the floor. I don't mind you bringing girls home, either. Most nights I work at Luke's bar, so I probably won't be around to hear you banging away. I can get to know you after. Most I care about is that you're not an axe murderer, or kiddy fiddler. I appreciate the evidence. Probably why I don't mind offering. You wouldn't be intruding, Sergeant."

"You can offload on me anytime, love. Not that I ain't encouragin' the cousins to get to understand a lil better, but it's got to be fresh for them too. They'll find a rhythm in the understandin'. Sounds like they're just tryin' to protect you. Us guys find it important to take care of the gals in our lives. Usually think no one else can pull it off better than we can on our own, too, though," Mike laughed and gratefully accepted the beer, cupping it in his hand like it was gold. "That'll be the dilemma Robbo's going through. He wants to the one, but knows he's just gotta suck it up and let someone else take care of you while he's away. He said your cousins were good guys, though, just a lil wary of him. So, y'all got a honeymoon planned out for when he comes back? You shouldn't miss out, just because it's a lil delayed."

He took a sip of his beer and held it up in a toast. "Well, I can promise you, I wouldn't be in the Army if I was any of that. Not in healthcare, either. And I do appreciate the offer, I really do. Don't know about the girls issue. Ain't really any of those on the horizon. Takes me some time to get my head back into a healthy space after shippin' back. Some of the stuff still sticks with you at night, when it's all too quiet and you ain't used to the solitude. I still feel like I'm intrudin' on you though. Especially when you're findin' your own feet."

"Oh, they won't give me a chance to push them away. They're always going to hover, and make sure I'm okay. I wouldn't have it any other way. They're part of the reason I'm still in New York. Meeting Rob just kind of made the decision for me. I can't move around with him needing a home to come back to. Just figured it must mean it was time for me to just find a proper home." Leila nodded as she cracked the top on her own beer and sat back down again. "Yeah, we have a road trip planned. I've never been on a proper one, so Rob's taking me."

Leila mimicked the gesture and smiled. "Good. You can never be too careful. Well, think about it and let me know. I promise you're not intruding. I really wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it. So you're not the type to just jump in a sack with a girl when you're back? And you seriously don't have a girl waiting for you? That's crazy."

Mike rolled the bottle cap between his fingers. "So, you've got a pretty tight relationship with your cousins, and they're both here? I can't blame you for wantin' to stick around. Family is important, especially at our age when you just ain't kids no more. You mentioned fiancee for one of them, so you got a weddin' on the horizon? At least you have some stuff to keep you a lil occupied. I know some girls who are isolated in small towns, hubby is away and they ain't got much of anything else to think about but herself and the kids. That would be real hard. Which is why I ain't ever wanted anyone to be waitin' back here for me. Not gals, not kiddies. I ain't got the balls Robbo does. Never did have. It sounds selfish, but it was just too much expectation for me to lay on anyone. So I kept the single life."

"Ohh, in The Car? Please tell me he got The Car in the divorce. Pretty sure he woulda killed for his baby rather than let that bitch get her hands on it. That's his pride and joy right there. Had it since he was a youngin'," he laughed. "I've heard some stories about what he used to get up to in it, too. Road trip sounds awesome. Can't get a better way to connect with someone than that."

Leila nodded. "Mmhmm. Well, Luke's mostly based in Princeton now. His wife's a twin, and they're living with her brother and his wife who's expecting. Andy's the one getting married soon. Ali picked Halloween. Apparently she wanted to claim the date back from Americans. The reception is actually going to be a fancy dress theme. I'm not sure I would be able to cope if I was in a small town, so I'm thankful I'm not. And Luke and Andy really do do their best for me. I couldn't ask for better cousins. They're like brothers." Leila had to laugh a little before she took a sip of beer. "You know what? You sound like me. Only I was never in the Army. I had my own reasons for keeping my distance, and staying single. It changes the moment you really do meet someone worth it. Suddenly it's not so much about leaving someone behind as knowing that someone's there to welcome you back home."

She smirked as she pointed at him with the beer. "Yeah, in The Car. He has it, he just hasn't driven it around the City for obvious reasons. I have yet to really see it, but I've heard plenty about The Car. I'm looking forward to the trip. Oh yeah, what stories?"

"Jersey lads. Like them already," Mike commented with a smirk, nursing his beer against his chest. "Sounds like a nice big family, too. Halloween wedding also sounds brilliant, good on her. Most would be too superstitious and fuck, but that ain't too long away. Are you lookin' forward to it?" As soon as the question was out of his mouth, he looked at her apologetically. "Sorry, you must be wishin' he was here as your date. First important family function as a married couple and all. Especially with your cousin being like a brother. He'll be there in spirit. You know, Robbo said somethin' similar to that, but I don't think I've ever really felt it. He did succeed in makin' me feel like an ass, though, unknowingly. I wish I did have the strength to let someone wait for me to come home, but I don't. Maybe never will. Who knows, really."

He was still laughing. "Doesn't want to scratch the baby. He might be forced to kill someone if he did. I think he hugs and kisses it goodnight, you know," he joked, sniggering. "Let's just say he ain't as innocent as he looks. Our trainin' days got pretty wild when we weren't on duty. You should go take her out for a spin, stretch her legs. If there is anyway to get back in touch with Robbo, it's drivin' his car."

"Luke's a New Yorker. Always has been. I mean, he's also Australian, and will always be, but I think a big part of him lies in this City. He just understands the importance of his wife's twin bond. It's pretty amazing, actually. I wasn't sure I'd ever see him settled. I'm just glad he's happy. And now Andy is, too." Leila held up a hand as she waved off his apology. "Don't worry about it. You don't need to walk on eggshells. I do wish he was going to be here, but it's fine. I'm not about to start trying to pressure you into the awesomeness of a relationship, but I do have to admit... when it's right, it's seriously fucking right, and there's nothing else like it."

Leila's eyes widened a little. "I can't do that! It's The Car! I'm not sure he'd even want me to drive it. I know he loves me, but I couldn't. I don't need a divorce because I scratched the car, or added some mileage to it when he has it all written down, or something."

Mike nodded, listening. He had never really had anything to do with twins, but he heard they were usually tight. Made sense the guy would want to be flexible so the twins could do what they needed to do. "They're probably even more relieved to have you close to home? Just what you said before, I get the feelin' you're a wanderer. You ain't military and you don't seem the sort to be a travelling business chick, which is a compliment. I know some professional chicks can be ball-breakers," he said with a smirk. "I'll take your word on that relationship thing. I ain't got the best track record to speak of. Never had much time for anythin' to stick."

"Sure you can! You got that weddin' ring on your finger. What's his is yours. Live dangerously," he coaxed with a cheeky grin. "The Car smells like him inside, that cologne he wears. Used to pull the piss out of him for that, but he spent so much time in it." He had to laugh, though, gesturing with his beer. "I wouldn't be puttin' it past him at all to log the mileage."

Leila gave a nod. "Andy lived with me while I was in London for work. His dad died, and he just needed to get away from her, but needed family. It was a dark time for him, but we've always been close, so I was glad to help him. I liked the company, too. I'd forgotten what it was like to be that close to either of them. To have constant access, you know? When I came back here... I just had this feeling like I needed to be close to them again. Plus Andy was expecting his first kid. His fiancee lost it. By then I'd fallen hard for Rob, and I guess there was no reason to leave again. I'm a freelance photographer, not just a bar bitch. I can do my work anywhere. I was specialising in band photography, but it's not as if New York has a shortage of live music. So no, I'm not travelling business chick," Leila added with a laugh. "Hey, it's cool. Like I said, not about to try and convert you."

Leila pressed her lips together as she tried to fight a smirk. "I don't even know where the keys are. I mean, I have his keys, but I can't remember if a car key is part of the set."

"Do you think you would have stuck around if you hadn't met Rob? I know some people get antsy about being in one place too long. He's given you a reason to want to stay put, and I think that's awesome, because it sounds like your family could really need you 'round for the moment. And you need them. Do you miss the globetrottin'?" Mike asked curiously. He finished off his beer but still nursed the bottle between his legs. "Do you ever feel like you got cheated outta the normal weddin' thing? Sounds like your cousin is about to do that, and I know it's a big thing for some people. The vows in front of family and friends. Robbo's first weddin'... holy fuck, it was like a freak show. She wanted it all from white freakin' doves to damn limos."

He smirked. "Bart Simpson keyring, only gold key on the chain. Like, The Holy Grail," he laughed. "You know what, do you fancy gettin' some lunch somewhere? My shout. I'm ravenous and my way of sayin' thanks for not bootin' my ass out the minute you opened the door to me."

Leila pushed her glasses back up her nose as she smiled. "No, I don't. Not like I thought I would. Sometimes I still get an urge to go somewhere, but that's when I just grab my camera and take a walk around the City. I think I travelled so much because I was never really happy. Not like I thought I was. I wasn't content, so I kept looking for something that would make me content. Never thought it'd be a soldier from Littlerock. And I think I would have stayed with my family even if I hadn't met Rob. I would never leave when they need me, and Andy needs me." She shook her head again, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. "No, I don't. I don't that kind of wedding is me, but maybe if we're still together in a year, or something we can do a proper wedding. I think impromptu works for me. I like spur of the moment things. Probably why I asked you to move in."

Leila was already on her feet, and crossing the room to where she had a stash of her things in one of the drawers behind the sofa. She found the Bart Simpson keyring, and the gold key. "Sure, lunch sounds good. I was getting restless just sitting around anyway. And hey, don't worry about it. Any friend of Rob's is a friend of mine. Thank you for giving me a link to him."

Mike smiled. "Well, things have a way of comin' 'round in a full circle, don't they? Kismet and all that. Just seem to believe in it more in others than me. Things are just right basic in my life," he said, standing up and gesturing to the door. "After you, ma'am. And any time. Feel free to interrogate me about him and I'll try not to pull the mates secrecy card too much," he promised with a smirk.

Words: 5416 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

musesandlyrics | 3.1 Jennifer Aniston Quote

doesntwaltz — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:38:44 GMT

3.1. "The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain."
Jennifer Aniston

Co-written with tacticalmind
[Follows THIS and THIS]

Rob felt like a piece of shit, but he didn't care. The medic had said he could get out of bed to make a phone call if he was up to it. It wasn't a question of whether he was up to it. It wasn't a question of any-fucking-thing except he was being offered a phone call and he was damn well taking it. He had help from one of the female medics to actually get to the phone, and he was now standing there in the infirmary gown with his camo shirt draped around his shoulders like a pseudo-bathrobe just to try and keep some modesty. He was hunched over, one hand on his sore stomach and his shoulder resting against the wall as he held the phone between his ear and shoulder to slowly dial the number in. In the crook of his arm, the IV pole was tucked and he knew he must look like a right pathetic sight, but again, he didn't care. He owed his friend, Pete, bucketloads of gratitude for emailing Leila. The thing was, he hadn't had any way of really knowing if she received it because she couldn't actually reply to the email address Pete used. It was frustrating. Rob just had to have some faith that she got it and wasn't sitting back there worrying that he'd been killed.

He rested his hot forehead against the cool steel barrier that was there to give anyone using the phone some privacy and listened as the line started ringing. He really, really hoped she was home to pick up. He couldn't call a cell phone from this line, landline only. He prayed silently that she wasn't at work, swallowing to wet his parched throat and hoping that shot they gave him worked long enough to prevent him throwing up for the duration of the phone call. If she picked up, that is. He couldn't be sure, though. He still felt distinctly sick in the stomach, but it was probably just because he was standing up.

Leila picked up the phone, covered in cookie batter after she'd been trying to bake for the last few hours. It had been something she hadn't done in years, but the waiting was driving her crazy. The email had helped to stop her thinking the worst had happened, it just didn't stop her still worrying about Rob. He was sick and she couldn't help. As someone who had only just found the person they loved, and had even married them, Leila was finding it hard not to fret. She was doing things she had never done in years instead of bad habits that involved drinking, sleeping around, and moving to another city.

She was still at Luke's while waiting for the approval to go through for her and Rob's new home, the apartment the perfect pick and one she'd stumbled across. She'd sent Rob photos but he obviously hadn't gotten them having fallen ill after being in communicado for a couple weeks anyway. Without even thinking that someone could have been ringing Tab, or Luke, she just answered with the person foremost on her mind. "Rob?"

Rob felt the breath rush out of him in relief, not even realising that he had been holding it while he waited for her to answer. "Leila," he said, the word coming out like a breathless gasp of awe that she had even picked up. Then he was hit with something that really took him off guard and he wasn't used to experiencing - he wanted to cry. "Hey, I missed you," he told her, choking up and gripping the phone to his ear in lieu of being able to hug her.

Leila's throat felt like a massive lump had lodged in her throat at the sound of his voice, tears filling her eyes as she wanted to cry knowing he was crying. "Oh, God, Rob... Shit. I'm sorry, I don't meant to... It's hearing you..." She sniffed loudly, her head falling into her hand as she tried to stem the flow of emotion so she didn't spend the whole call crying. She had no idea how much time they had. Military calls were probably just as timed as their goodbyes. "Missed you, too. So fucking much."

Rob really did try to just put it down to him being run down with this weird thing he had managed to catch. He wasn't usually the crying sort, you couldn't be when you were fighting in a war. That feeling you wanted to definitely caught in your throat sometimes, but to him it was usually a private thing, something to do behind closed doors and not in anyone's presence. But this was all different and hearing her voice without being able to touch her hurt. He kept his head dipped close to the wall, but didn't initially try to stop the tears. He just awkwardly brushed them away with his fingers, almost tipping the IV pole in the process. "It's okay... it's okay, darlin', I promise," he tried to reassure her, his voice hoarse from the emotion and his strained throat. "Are you okay? How have you been? Are you..." He had to paused, wanting to immediately throw a whole bunch of questions at her about how she was and if she had been okay, but he stopped. That was stupid. "It's so good to hear your voice," he settled on instead, pressing his lips together as the tears threatened to come thicker and faster, but then he wouldn't be able to talk.

Leila laughed a little through the tears, and pushed her glasses back up onto her head so she could wipe the tears away. She hugged herself in the absence of having Rob to hug, her thumb rubbing against her wedding band. "I was going to ask you the same thing. I got the email from your friend. Have you worked out what you have? Are you okay? Are they taking care of you? I'm okay. Promise. I'm just... I've been worried, and it's hard not to be. I've been baking." The last part she sad as if she was admitting some terrible secret.

Rob had to laugh too, the tension slipping away a little at just being able to communicate with her. "I'm sorry. I know it's gotta suck. I got sent right into it. I wouldn't recommend watching the news, because that's what I'm involved in. Or was involved in, rather. I've been staying in a tent, things have been rough. Then I just woke up feeling horrible the other morning. Me and six other guys all had it in different stages. Contaminated water, maybe. Intelligence thinks it might have even been some sort of poison. I'm in the infirmary for a couple of days. I'm okay..." His forehead creased and he laughed softly again. "Okay, right now, I'm not really but I'm getting treatment. Just feeling real sick and weak. Baking? Is that one of those evil things you only do when you have absolutely nothing else to do?" he asked, smiling to himself.

Leila had a sudden urge to switch on the TV and watch the news, but she knew it was just morbid curiousity. Rob had to be right. She wouldn't want to see it. She'd just wind up thinking he was probably going to die at every turn. "Wait, what? Poison? As in on purpose poison? Jesus... What happened to just digging a trench and using guns? I wish I was there. Well, not there, but I wish I was just with you to make you feel better. I can't believe you're stuck over there feeling like shit and alone." Leila cleared her throat, feeling herself blush a little. "Yeah, it is. I've been trying to make biscuits all day. Well, cookies as the Americans call them. I've burned them, underbaked them, and pretty much covered the kitchen with the mixture."

"Well, I ain't just a frontline fighter. I'm a sniper. Goes above and beyond a lil bit. Now I'm making myself sound like Buzz Lightyear. It's just that they can trace a link between where me and the others were and there are some patterns there. They ain't sure it's so innocent. Not much really is in war. Once I can be upright for longer than half an hour without puking, I'll probably end up right back where I was. I wish you were with me too. I ain't been able to stop thinking about you, darlin'. It's been keeping me sane." Rob smirked a little. "I'm supposed to be all tough, you know. Bit of a stomachache and I'm wanting to come home." It was very much an exaggeration of his condition, but he didn't want to spook her. "Ah, see, this is why you ain't supposed to bake it, just eat it right out of the bowl."

"Can't stop thinking about you either," Leila murmured into the phone. She moved to sit down, curling up into a tight ball. "Even if you are Buzz Lightyear. I know you said you wouldn't always be in contact... it's just hard. I keep sending you emails, so I think you'll be spammed by me once you do open your inbox. I send you something every time I wish I could just tell you in person. I want you to come home... only I'm not supposed to. I signed up for this. I thought I was stronger." Leila smirked. "If you were here you'd be able to lick it off me. I'm covered in it, too."

Rob shook his head slowly. "It ain't about strength, darlin'. It's more than that. I don't doubt for a single minute you aren't strong. But I know what you're dealing with, too. Ain't no right or wrong way to process it and wait it out. Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you could stay with someone for a lil while?" He had to stop talking for a few moments when his stomach turned over and he feared he was going to be sick again. He swallowed heavily, his hand curling around the bag the medic had tucked into his pocket just in case, but it seemed to be a false alarm for now. He still took a few deep breaths to try and help, though. "Screwed up part is, if I was much worse in my condition, they could have sent me home. Ironic. I'm not dying enough. You ain't a very neat cooker, are you?" he said, laughing and enjoying hearing her talk about things that felt like a million miles from here.

Leila nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just having one of those times. If I hear from you I can trick myself into thinking you're close. The last couple weeks has just been hard. You have to thank Pete for me, okay? He saved my sanity. I could stay with Luke again, but that means going to Princeton. I can't keep asking him back here. I'm just waiting on the bank so we can have our place, and then I can move in there. I don't really want to crash at Andy's while he's busy getting busy with Ali again. They've had enough interruptions. You're not dying enough? Well, that's a fucking up diagnosis. And no, I'm really not. I'm quite a messy cook. I love making the dishes, but I hate doing them."

"But they offered, didn't they? People ain't usually offering help if they don't want you to take it, darlin'. I wish you didn't have to be alone. I'd give anything to be back there with you." Rob closed his eyes for a few moments, wetting his lips as he continued to control his breathing. "Pretty fucked up, hey? Kinda feel like I'm dying enough right now. It's a miracle I ain't being sick. Can't promise I won't before the conversation is out, either. The conditions I've been in, makes it easy for a body to get hit hard with stuff like that. Hygiene and stuff ain't much of a priority. So, who is going to all eat the wonderful baking you've been doing? I bet I can think of a couple of cousins who'd like it."

"Think if I sacrifice some cookies to the powers that be that they'd let you come home?" Leila asked in a small voice. She just wanted him there. She picked up one of the sofa cushions and hugged it tight. "You can't do that! You just can't, because then I'm going to want to be there even more, and it's not fucking fair hearing you suffer when I can't do a bloody thing about it. So you just suck it up, soldier. So no sexy male medics there to give you sponge baths? I'm thinking it'll be the cousins. Otherwise I'll pickle it all for when you come home."

Rob laughed softly. "Not for the minor fact of me sacrificing my cookies around every half hour to match the fever. If your cookies took off a leg, then they might consider it," he joked, trying to cheer her up just a little. "I'll try not to. It might resort to me asking you to hum The Simpsons theme or something as distraction. If a sexy male medic wanted to sponge me down, I'd be getting mighty worried. Pickled cookies? Oh, you know how to tease a guy's gag reflec, don't you?" he said with a smirk.

Leila managed to laugh, even if it was punctuated by a sniff as she tried to stop herself tearing up again. "Yeah, I do. Consider it a distraction. I'll be sure to make you non-pickled cookies when you get home. You can witness exactly how messy I can be in the kitchen. I'll hum anything you want me to, baby. I'd do anything for you. You know that right? Whatever you need... Well, whatever I can give you from here."

Rob pressed his lips together, closing his eyes again. "Yeah, I know, darlin'," he whispered to her down the phone, his grip tightening around the receiver. "You can give me everything, you already have. When I get back, I'll make it all up to you. We'll go on that trip, and make up for all this lost time. I promise, anything you want to do, we can do."

"Right now I just want to be lying with you in bed. Naked." Leila took a deep breath, and tilted her head back so she didn't exhale straight into the phone. "I'm going to get us a new bed with the comfiest damn sheets known to man."

Rob tried to loose himself in picturing that and feeling that, and he made a small humming noise of agreement. "Far cry from a portable camp bed and scorching heat. I've almost forgotten what a mattress feels like. I'm jealous I don't get to come bed shopping with you, but I'll trust your judgement." He cleared his throat softly. "I think I have to go, darlin'. I'm starting to feel really sick again and you're right, I don't want you to have be on the receiving end of hearing me throwing up. I just needed to hear your voice. Just thinking about you has kept me together these last few days."

"I'll make sure it's a good bed. Might be another thing I drag Lulu out for." Leila tried not to feel too disappointed. Rob was sick so she couldn't really argue with him needing to go. "Okay, Littlerock. You just try and take care of yourself as best you can. I hope you feel better soon. I'll be here whenever you need me and my voice."

"I'll try and call again soon," Rob promised, nursing his stomach through the gown. "But if I don't, it ain't a bad thing, okay? Means I'm fine and I've gone back to work. I never stop thinking about you, okay? No matter what. Don't eat all those cookies on your own or you'll never want to see another one again," he added with a smile. "I love you, darlin'."

"Plus I'll get all fat," Leila laughed. "Okay, I won't fear the worst if you don't call. I'll just fear the worst when a military car pulls up out the front. I love you too, Littlerock. I don't ever stop thinking about you, either. I miss you."

Rob had to wince at her comment, immediately praying she never had to experience that, no matter what. "Speak soon," he promised, brushing his thumb against the receiver as he yearned to hold her again. He had to hang up before he started to give into the tears again. Now he just had to get back to his bed without passing out or throwing up. As soon as he hung up, he already missed her so much his gut hurt for a whole different reason.

Words: 2818 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

RP Log with notskywalker

doesntwaltz — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:57:51 GMT

Leila stood in the middle of the apartment, camera in hand as she took snaps from various angles. On the off chance she thought it was the place for her and Rob she wanted to make sure she had the pictures to email to him. She wasn't really feeling it though, and it was the fourth place so far she'd dragged Luke to. She turned to look at her cousin, nose scrunched as she gave him that look that said 'I'm really sorry, but no'.

She hated this. She hated having to suddenly make decisions for her and Rob, and not being able to talk to him about them. She never knew when the next phone call would come, and the emails were intermittent. It wasn't enough. They were still new to their relationship, and extremely new to their marriage. Leila wanted to be curled up with him after more fantastic sex, and falling asleep with his arms around her.

She let out a sigh, her shoulders dropping as she let the camera hang around her neck. Leila lifted her glasses up to rub at her eyes, and turned around to look again at the mediocre apartment. The wallpaper was hideous, but she supposed it could always be fixed up. Still, it didn't scream her and Rob's names. She wasn't even sure if any place would.

Luke puffed his cheeks out and let the breath out in a rush. "Remind me why I'm here again," he said, massaging at his shoulders that had started to stiffen up from the sheer amount of times he had spent looking up, and down, and around, and over, and under, and in and out or everything to do with property. "I don't even own a marital home. Why am I here looking for yours? I could be, I dunno, wanking. Knitting. Maybe baking scones." He looked around, scrunching his nose up at the decor. "This isn't even slightly appealing. Why did you come here?"

"It was available and cheap?" Leila replied, but even she sounded like she didn't buy her answer. "And I don't give a toss about you not having a marital home. At least you have the bloody marital part." She held up a hand in apology. "I'm sorry, that was unfair. I'm just getting tired. Maybe we should call it a day? I don't think any of these places are right. Maybe I'm never going to find somewhere? We'll be doomed to live apart. Worse than the couples that sleep in separate beds in the same room. I needed you here for a guy's opinion. Just pretend to be a soldier."

Luke snorted and pulled his lips to the side wryly. "You have have the marital part. He could have fucked off to the Middle East without putting a ring on your finger, you know," he reminded her, trying to get her to see some of the positive in things. "Did he say you had to look for cheap? There's better stuff than this around for just a bit more, you know. You just have to know what you're looking for. You know Andy spoke to him? The other night, online."

Leila's eyebrows went up. "He did? No, I didn't know. Did it go okay? Does Andy want to do the growly puppy thing, too?" Leila put her hands on her hips as she scuffed the floorboard with her shoe. "No, he didn't. I just don't want to go spending too much. He said he could provide for me."

Luke shook his head. "Nope. Andy said they talked for awhile. Rob's pretty discontent, so Andy just chatted to him about it all, and about general guy stuff. Like farting in the barracks," he had to laugh and then shot her a smirk. "Your soldier is a shy one in new relationships apparently." He went over to her and took her hand, making her point in the general direction of the walls. "This isn't providing. He wants you to find a home, right? Is this really something you want to call a home? Something you think he would like to come home from war to?"

"I think it would be something he'd want to go to war to get away from," Leila replied quietly as she frowned. "It's not home. Wait, farting? What's that go to do with a new relationship and being shy?"

"Ditto," Luke said with a small snort. The place really did suck. He shrugged slightly. "Because it was boy talk? It started with Rob talking about rations and a sore stomach and veered onto the track of farting, and Rob admitting he was still a little shy around you. You know Andy. He can get anyone to talk about anything. I guess Rob just needed to chat about the relationship?"

Leila nodded a little as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "Probably. I don't know if he's really got anyone to talk to about it. I've got you and Andy. Well, when he comes home I'll just fart on him and fix the problem. I did grow up around you two. I can fart pretty damn good."

Luke sniggered. "Tell me about it. I just think you've got a good guy there. He seems... nice. You're probably right about the talking thing. If he's transferred from his usual batallion, he's not going to be over there with friends, is he? Andy just said he talked about you a lot, was concerned about how you were, and sounded sad. He was glad he grabbed the chance to talk to him. It's a big thing you're going through, L."

Leila smirked a little, proud that she could keep up with the boys. "No, he's not. He even said that. Plus his family's in Littlerock and don't know me from a bar of soap. I'm glad he could talk to Andy. I hate the idea of him being sad, but I'm not much better. I miss him like crazy. Sometimes I can't really sleep because I just want him next to me so badly."

"You should talk to him," Luke told her quietly and took both her hands in his. "I think you were at work when Andy spoke to him. You should set up a laptop out the back of the bar and just keep an eye out if he comes online. Talk to him whenever you get the chance. I don't mind, okay? It's not going to get easier the longer he's away, it's just going to get harder. I don't want to upset you or anything, but how would you feel if something happened to him and you hadn't spoken to him much? You'd be devastated. Guilty. Feel cheated. Maybe this military wife thing, you just gotta do what you gotta do. And use the rest of us to help you out where we can. Even small things, if you think they're going to bring you both comfort, then do it."

"You'd really let me do that?" Leila hugged her cousin, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad I came back. Not sure I'd be able to do this without you guys. And this wallpaper really is fucking hideous. Make sure I don't buy a place with wallpaper, okay?"

Luke shrugged, and gave another glance around the apartment. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll just say for the next few months, you're surplus to requirement. Whenever you need to talk to him, just go for it. I know what the early days of a relationship are like, and you need to do what you can to make it work. Plus, he probably needs it just as much as you do. I can't even think what it would be like to do a job like he does. And you know what? Your mood is really affecting your ability to find apartments with character," he added with a smirk. "I think this decor is reflecting how you feel, and making me slightly on the nauseous side, but I think that's because I saw puke in The Bondi's bathroom the colour of this wallpaper last week."

Leila scrunched up her nose as she pulled back from the hug. "Great, now I'm feeling nauseous. I think we should just call it a day, and I'll start with a fresh list next time. Definitely going for less cheap. And definitely taking you up on the offer to talk to Rob whenever I can. I am not loving the fact that this place is reflecting how I feel. I am not this apartment, Lulu."

"Well, it is." Luke paused and turned to her, his face reflecting a hint of concern he was trying not to show to her too much. "You know, L, this is just the first time you're experiencing him getting shipped out. It's not going to be the last. You might have very little time together with him at the end of the day. Are you sure this is the life you want?"

Leila ran her fingers through her knotted blonde hair and gave a nod. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'd rather what little of Rob I could get than no Rob at all. I just need to work through this first bit. I'll find a rhythm, Luke, trust me. It's not like I haven't been alone before."

Luke shook his head. "This isn't the same. You're not just alone. You're alone and separated from someone you need to be with. It's not just a matter of finding a rhythm, because the fact he's away is still going to be hanging over you. And what about your job? Or are you not going to pursue that anymore?" he asked.

She looked at him. "The photography? It's just going to have to change, I think. Unless I find a way to be comfortable travelling while Rob's away, but it would make the contact harder. If I'm still in New York, then I can be easy to find. I might just have to think about a different line of photography. Something that's here in New York and doesn't need much travel."

Luke pressed his lips together. "If you're sure..." he said, trailing off. "Big call to change your life like that for someone."

"You moved to Princeton," she felt the need to point out.

Luke looked at her skeptically. "Princeton is two hours drive away. I still own my apartment and bar in New York."

"Yeah, and I'm going to be living in New York. I think I'm allowed to work in the same city. It was freelance work, Luke. It's never been guaranteed employment, that's why I wind up doing bar stints in between." She gave a shrug, pushing her glasses up as she rubbed at her eyes again. "It's not that big of a call."

"Just trying to play Devil's Advocate," Luke murmured, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Andy's better at all this shit than I am. All I can see is you changing everything for a guy you just... just met," he finally admitted with a small frown of concern.

Leila reached out to hook her arm around Luke's. "I know, and I wish you could know him. But you do know me, and you know I wouldn't change anything I didn't want to. I'm not being forced to do any of this. Rob isn't asking me to. I'm choosing to. So please... just go along with it for now, okay?"

Luke found himself wondering how Tab would handle a situation like this. If Riley met someone and suddenly turned his life in a 360 direction for them because he had fallen for them. The only thing was, it was probably more likely that Tab would do something like that. Maybe actually did, when she met Luke. And then there was Aiden, who did exactly that because he fell so deeply in love with Pat so quickly, that it just progressed to the point that Aiden ended up moving to Princeton when Luke thought he had been the epitome of the New York Metrosexual. But Pat wasn't military. Luke was actually terrified that at any minute, Leila was going to get a phone call that could shatter her world. Where did that leave her then? He nodded. "Okay, whatever you think is best," he told her and then pointed to the door with his thumb. "We should get going."

Leila was still looking at him like she was trying to work out if he understood yet, but she nodded. If she spent much longer in the apartment she would be sick, and she wasn't sure it was just from the wallpaper anymore. None of the decisions she'd made since she'd met Rob had felt wrong, but the aching loneliness that came with missing him was definitely starting to affect her. She held onto Luke's arm, hoping her cousin would understand at some point. She couldn't exactly do any of this without both Luke and Andy supporting her.

Words: 2169

For just_muse_me | 24.4.3 Finally

doesntwaltz — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:30:19 GMT

Co-written with tacticalmind

It was another roasting hot day in the middle of the desert, and another day Rob was head-to-toe in his service uniform sweating his ass off in the scorching sun. He didn't even want to think about what he smelt like, things like that were the last that went through a soldier's mind at war. After worrying about forcing forward on the frontline, landmines, grenades, tanks, explosions, etc. there was missing home... and missing people they loved. Something that was never too far from a soldier's mind.

Rob was no exception.

He was on a rest period after being in a small battle that broke out a few miles away from base. He had been out there most of the previous day and night, and now he was exhausted. Hot, sweaty, sore, and exhausted. News also came a little while ago that two British soldiers had been killed in a battle in the next town over from an IED, or more specifically an Improvised Explosive Device, a bomb planted by the Taliban for the exact purpose of blowing up the opposition. As much as Rob hated to admit, Afghanistan in this climate was a far cry from what he was used to in Iraq. It was like Iraq during Rob's first ever posting and he still remembered how much that affected him and how long it took him to get used to.

He hadn't had many chances of restful solitude since he arrived. There had been three other times over the last week he had managed to try to get a call put through to Leila, but the timezones were awry and he hadn't been able to catch her. He couldn't leave voicemail, either. His calls didn't have the capacity to be traced and voicemail was just leaving marks. He stood again now in the barracks at one of the phones. He could hear gunfire and fighting in the far distance, but it was as common to his ears as traffic in New York would be to a New Yorker. He was back on rations too, which meant his system had to go into a sort of shock before it settled back into the bland, tiny meals. He had to push through these first couple of weeks of feeling shit to get back on track. He held the phone between his ear and his shoulder as the call connected and started ringing while he took a long drink of water from his flask. He didn't know how long he would have here. It could be just a couple of minutes, or up to twenty. You never really knew what was waiting around the corner in a war zone, and he needed to try and catch some sleep in the bunks, too.

Leila rushed out of the bathroom, her bare feet leaving a trail of wet footprints behind her. She'd been waiting for his call, almost scared to leave the house in case she missed it. Which was stupid since he had her cell number. She'd had missed calls, but the number had been unavailable. She quickly flipped open the phone and pressed it to her ear. "Hello?" she said breathlessly, her hair dripping on the floor as she used her free hand to clutch her towel to her body. Her heart thundered in her chest, waiting to hear the one voice she was missing like crazy.

Rob felt a breath exit his lips in a rush that he hadn't realise he had been holding. "Leila? It's Rob, darlin'," he greeted her with a smile and screwed the cap back onto the water. He wiped his sweaty forehead with his wrist and glanced behind him to see if he had an audience or not. He had lucked out. There were guys around, but beside a couple on the other phones, no one else was paying any attention. "I kept missing you, but I needed to call to let you know I got here okay. Especially on account of the fact I hear there's a lot on the news about this place right now." He gave into the urge for the moment not to close his eyes and rest his head against the wall. He would probably fall asleep and knock himself out on the dirty concrete floor.

"Shit! Rob! Oh, thank God. I thought it had been you. I was ready to throw my phone out, only then you really wouldn't have been able to catch me. You're lucky I heard it ringing while I was in the shower. You okay? Still in one piece? Fuck, I miss you. I miss you so bloody much," she told him in a rush. "I told Luke. And Andy."

Rob continued to reflexively survey the surroundings. It was just second nature, especially now he was a Sergeant. He concentrated, focusing on her voice, and relieved how soothing it was to hear. "I miss you too, darlin'. Like you wouldn't believe. I'm, uh, I'm in one piece," he confirmed. He couldn't elaborate to tell her he was okay, because he wasn't. He wouldn't be until he got over this posting and could be back with her. It had only been a week but it already felt like much longer. "Told Andy and Luke...? Oh. Oh, about the wedding. Were they okay? Is Al Quaeda the least of my worries in the face of your scary Aussie cousins? I've got Aussies with us here. The accent is oddly comforting now. I didn't think they would appreciate it though if I asked them to talk like a female and talk dirty to me."

Leila managed a quiet laugh. "Yeah, probably not. Besides, I don't have any Southerners to beg to talk dirty to me. It's not fair. So what are you wearing, big boy? I'm just in a towel, and dripping wet." She wet her lips, and sat down on the edge of the sofa. "Yeah, about the wedding. You don't have anything to worry about. They're happy for us. Luke was confused, and thought it was a joke at first. He's also sorry he never got to get to know you."

Rob looked down at him with a laugh. "Uniform," he told her wryly. "Pretty much eat, sleep, and work in that over here. I just got back to the barracks. I've got some time off, so I thought I would make the most of it. Recharge and get some energy back. Can't say the bunks are for the fainthearted, though. Still doesn't stop me wishing you were here to do naughty things on them. I seem to have discovered a fantasy of fucking on a top bunk. I'm glad they were okay with it, darlin'. You need their support. When I get back, we can always have a renewing vows type thing with your family. I want to get to know them more, too. I can't stop thinking about you."

"I can't stop thinking about you, either. When you were gone I felt like there was this hole in my chest. Hearing your voice now, I can feel it start to fill up. I want to be there with you, I want to be doing naughty things to you. Fuck, I even want a bunk bed. When you come back we need to look into it." She held the phone closer to her ear, trying to absorb every word. "You're not going to make it back by October, are you?"

Rob smirked and nodded in response as a lower ranked officer walked by and saluted him. "How would we explain bunk beds to visitors? We might need to turn the bottom bed into a fort and just declare ourselves crazy. I can fob it off to nutty post-traumatic stress. No one needs to know the naughty truth," he joked and leaned his head just a little heavier into the phone as if that would help him get closer to her. "October? I, um... I can't promise anything, darlin'. What's happening in October?"

"How about we get a place with a spare room, and we'll blame it on too many family members probably wanting to stay over? Fitting a couple people, instead of just one." Leila was smirking at the idea of a forte, though. "Andy and Ali are getting married October 31st. They brought the wedding up."

"You want to get a place together?" Rob asked, not really sure why that surprised him. It was probably more a fact that they hadn't had time to stop and think about the logistics of marriage. To hear them like this was comforting, even if his mind hadn't processed that side of things yet. "Hey, that's great news. I'm really happy for them. Does that mean they're coping a lil better with everything, trying to look forward a bit? I don't know if I'll be back, darlin'. I didn't want to say anything, but I ain't ever been posted anywhere for less than three months. I don't think it's going to be any different this time around. I'll be lucky to be back for Christmas."

"Um, yes? When you come back. I'll happily stay at Luke's for now. Unless you wanted to just... I don't know. Stay at your friend's together?" Leila hadn't realised it had slipped out, but Luke had planted the seed the other day, and now she couldn't shake it. She wanted Rob home because suddenly she kept thinking of all these things they should do as a couple. She'd never been part of a couple before, so it was all new. And she was impatient. "I know, so am I. I think so, yeah. Apparently Andy had another incident, but they're going to work through it together. He's going back to AA. I kind of figured, but it was worth asking. I'll go stag, it's fine. I hope you do make it back for Christmas... I'm already going crazy."

Rob finally did give in to the urge to rest his head against the wall a little. He was going to hold out on this phone call as long as he could, which would be until someone else wanted the phone, and then he was hoping he would sleep better after speaking to her. He had already put some pictures of their wedding up around his bunk, and made himself as at home as he could do in the barracks. He just wanted to take a shower and get as much sleep as he could until he was back to it. "I don't think a one room bedsit with kitchenette is real conducive for housing two people. We can look at getting a place when I get back, if you want. It would be good to get a lil investment between us anyway, somewhere that's ours. And I don't think Andrew and Ali will do things to the book, will they? You'll have plenty of people to hang out with. I'll be there in spirit, I promise. But we ain't ever sure what's around the corner, are we? It's still a little way off. We can only wait and see what happens. A lot of stuff going down right now, though. It ain't like what I left in Iraq..."

"Keeps me in New York, too," Leila replied. "I don't really want to go. Andy and Luke are here. Well, Luke's sort of here. Princeton's starting to be his home. It's not like it's a long drive. It'd be nice to get somewhere cheap near Andy." She toyed with the edge of her towel, rubbing her fingers against it. "I know. I'll enjoy it, just thought I'd ask. Think your spirit could molest me while it's here? What's happening?"

Rob wet his dry lips. "You were thinking about not staying?" he asked quietly. Not that he blamed her if she had been. He just hoped she would. "Ain't your cousin on the Upper East Side? Might be hard to find something cheap there, but in saying that, we don't have to go right cheap. I know you probably ain't the sort of gal who is all interested in this sort of thing, but I can take care of you, provide for you. Another of those old-fashioned values I have, I guess." He tugged at his shirt a little, peeling the fabric away from his sweaty body. "Sure it could well try, darlin'. I ain't ever fantasied about having sex in waterfalls before. Like a mirage in the hot desert. I'm wondering how I'm going to last. The guys were asking me where my nudie pics of you are to keep me going," he admitted with a laugh.

"Before I met you," she clarified. "I wasn't exactly going to leave after I fell in love with you, or after marrying you. Things have changed, and I need to settle. It just took something like this to make me ready. Yeah, he is. And good point. Not as if I've ever paid much attention to real estate prices. I might have to start looking so I'm prepared and ready when you get back." Leila broke out into a smile, wishing like hell she could hug him. "I don't mind your old-fashioned values so much. I love them, and I love you." She bit her lip, feeling a tingle of arousal spread through her body. "Yeah? Maybe I should send you some."

Rob's tongue came to rest between his lips momentarily and he cleared his throat. It wasn't the climate making his cheeks warm this time. "Well, I, um... see, I ain't thought about it much before. In fact, I always thought it was kinda crude for guys to have those sorts of pictures of their wives. I mean, it ain't like they keep them out for everyone to see. Just... in easy reach, so to speak. But now I'm just, uh, thinking differently. You ain't here with me, and I'm more than aware of that as each moment here ticks by," he admitted to her. It was the truth, too. Before, he hadn't given it much thought with Ellie. Communal porn was usually passed around the bunks if he ever felt the need, but he hadn't felt this empty at service before. Like part of him was missing. "You should take a look at some real estate. Email me some pictures if you see anything you like. That lawyer I saw, he was real good. If you fall in love with something, we can get the ball rolling. I could have a home to come home to. Our home."

"I'll get something to you as soon as I can. Been a while since I've done a nude self-portrait. Just let me know if you want anything in particular. Whatever keeps you warm at night, Littlerock. Not sure I'll be able to last all these nights without my hand between my legs. It's not you, but it sees me through." Leila didn't need to think twice about sending him something. She had taken nude self-portraits before, but mostly to test her skills. She'd never really shared them with anyone before. She wanted to share them with Rob. "Okay, sounds like a plan. Shit, can't believe I'm married and talking real estate. I want you to have our home to come home to."

"Glasses," Rob found himself saying without hesitation and then laughed bashfully. "You in your glasses is all I want. And now thoughts in my head of you with your hand between your legs..." he added, glancing around furtively to make sure no one was listening in. God, he missed her. It had only been a week since they were last in bed together, but it felt like so much longer. He wanted to feel her skin under his fingers, feel himself inside her. He had to shift positions and make sure he remained near the wall. He might need to stay there for a good few minutes, actually. "Sure y'all still okay with it? It was rushed, and quick but I... I ain't regretting a single minute, darlin'. I just wanted you to know that. Only thing I regret is not being there."

"Glasses I can do. Kind of don't tend to take them off anymore since you. Might even be able to do the hand between my legs thing, too." Leila shifted on the bed, already wondering if it was bad manners to take the towel and start getting herself off now just from the sound of his voice. She would struggle to keep talking to him, but it wasn't impossible. It would have been better to have had him here, had him driving into her again, and again, and again... but he wasn't. "I haven't regretted it either, Rob. I honestly don't. I wish you were here, but you're in the Army. Shit happens. Truth is... I don't think I can hate you being taken away when it got me a husband. It's a fucked up way to go about it, but we probably wouldn't have otherwise."

Rob was going to respond, but he heard someone calling his name and he turned to find one of his soldiers trying to catch his attention at the door. Fuck. "Leila, darlin', I've got to go." His eyes were on the soldier, and something wasn't right. He held his hand up, indicating he was on his way, and the guy saluted at him. He still needed to get used to that. "Something's going down. I'll call you again when I can, okay? And I can be online sometimes, so you can email me. I love you. More than you could know. You take care, okay? I promise, I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you, too!" Leila almost yelled into the phone in case she was about to be cut off. "Be careful! Shit, Rob... please, just be careful. I'll email you, and I'll send you the pictures, okay? Glasses and everything."

"I love you," Rob repeated, and had to hang up the call before he caught himself lingering. He hated this. He didn't know how he was going to get through it, and he only hoped it was just the new posting discontent he was feeling. The ability to turn his mind off from anything back home and focus on his service and the war was getting harder and harder every time he heard Leila's voice.

Words: 3069 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

From the soldier husband & paramedic cousin...

doesntwaltz — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:14:56 GMT

Your Name is Gray

Your name tells people that you are calm and level headed. Your name makes you seem honest and fair.

You are able to look at things clearly and without emotion. You tend to remain neutral in most disputes.

People see you as reliable and trustworthy. You treat everyone equally, and you don't tend to have any prejudices.

You are naturally calculating and even a bit cunning. You don't like to show your cards too early in the game.

What Color Is Your Name?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Seemed easier than the last thing the husband posted.

Locked to notskywalker & paramedically

doesntwaltz — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:37:32 GMT

How much do you boys love me?

just_muse_me | 21.1.4 Lamartine quote

doesntwaltz — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:48:18 GMT

24.1.4. "Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated." - Lamartine

Co-written with tacticalmind | Follows THIS

It had been a very early morning for both of them, and despite planning on getting a good night's sleep, it just hadn't been able to come. Instead, they spent just about the whole night making love and trying to hope the clock would slow down to just give them that little bit longer together. It hadn't worked, and the alarm was going off before they knew it. The afternoon before, Rob met with the lawyer that her cousin knew, and after calling him and explaining the situation, the guy had happily come to Rob's place to tie up the loose legal ends that had been playing on Rob's mind. He assured him things would be fine, with 30% of his assets going to his family, and the rest to Leila. Also with strict orders that if his ex-wife tried to dispute anything in the event of his death, she was to get nothing. It sucked he had to waste time dealing with it, but it did lift some of the weight from his shoulders knowing Leila would be recognised as his wife legally. He also faxed his amdended details away to the Army so he would be be listed as married and Leila as his wife. That, solely, was the biggest issue for him.

Despite telling her the previous day that he didn't want her to come to the brig for the goodbye, he had renegged somewhere during the night. Why should they say goodbye at the gate when all the rest of the wives and families were on the base saying goodbye at the trucks that would take them to the flight out. It had been a stupid anxiety on his part. Leila deserved the same respect as all the other wives there, which is why they were now standing a short distance away from the other crowds. Couples all around them were trying to bid their last farewells, that always came with the nauseating anxiety that this might really be the last time. Rob, along with his colleagues were adorned in their official uniforms, head to toe, the whole deal. They had walked the distance from his car in the visitor's lot - now in Leila's possession - to the meeting point here, and his pack was lying on the ground beside them. Over by the bus, he heard the call that there was five minutes left, and Rob had to press his lips together in an effort not to be sick from nerves. This was harder than any goodbye he had faced in that past. "Are you alright?" he asked her in a hushed tone, his hands wrapped around hers, which he squeezed softly.

Leila's blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and it swished slightly as she shook her head. There was no point lying. As much as she wanted to be okay, she just wasn't. No part of this was okay. How was she supposed to be happy when she was saying goodbye to Rob? She stretched up to kiss his lips softly, and rest her head against his. She took a deep breath in through her nose, memorising his scent. "I'm selfish, I'm sorry. I don't want this to be it. There hasn't been enough time."

Rob was more than aware that five minutes meant five minutes. There would be no 'just one more minute' requests. That's not how the military worked. His stomach was turning over and over and he felt close to tears, which he was trying desperately to hold off by letting out a heavy breath. He rubbed her back and kissed her again, his fingers softly threading through her long hair. "I know," he agreed hoarsely. "But think of the sex when I get back, yeah?" he joked weakly, smiling at her. "I'll be in touch as soon as I can, okay? First thing I do once everything is settled over there."

Leila nodded, holding his face in hands to kiss him. She didn't want to stop kissing him. Couldn't stop. "I think a lot of my nights will be passed by thinking of the sex when you get back. Just be safe, okay? Promise me that. If you have to stay away, then just please make sure you're safe. You got everything? Got the photos?"

Rob nodded and glanced down at his pack. "Yeah, I've got them safe," he told her and then looked back up to meet her eyes. Tears were pooling in his own before he could battle to stop them again and he had to laugh slightly, reaching up to brush them away. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. I know it hurts. You have to promise me you'll go back to Luke and not be alone, alright? I couldn't handle thinking that you're going to be on your own. Not right now. I wanted to talk to him about taking care of you for me, but I didn't want to freak him out or piss him off. I just want you to be okay."

"I will be." Even if her trembling bottom lip said otherwise. Leila took a deep breath, and huffed out a laugh. "Shit, I'm no good at goodbyes. This is why I try not to get attached. Don't take that the wrong way! If I'm going to be attached to anyone, it's you. I'll talk to Luke on your behalf, make sure he understands. And he will. Otherwise I'm flushing his perfect hair in the toilet. I love you, Littlerock. You just remember that, okay? I love you."

"I ain't gonna forget it, darlin'. I love you," Rob told her as he pulled her into secure hug. Fuck, he really didn't want to let go and the first few days overseas was going to really suck as he tried to wrap his head around everything. He was still buzzing from the marriage, but this wasn't fair. They should have more time! They should be going on their honeymoon, not saying goodbye for however long he was going to be gone for. For a few moments, none of their surroundings existed. It was only Leila he could focus on tried to not even think of the ticking clock against them. If anyone had told him three months ago this is where he would be right now, he would have laughed in their face. He never wanted to get married again, and he was scared to even try to think about love, or even sex. She just swept him off his feet before he even knew what was happening, and it wasn't something he wanted to stop. And now trying to say goodbye, he didn't want to let go. "You're amazing. I hate this, but when I let go, okay, I have to go? I'm going turn and walk away, but I'm not going to look back. I won't be able to go if I do," he warned her.

Leila nodded in his embrace, still fighting against the tears. A part of her wanting to ask him to just stay, but she couldn't. This was his work, his life. She'd married a soldier. She wasn't going to interfere with that. She'd just curse Fate a lot when she got back home. "Please just be okay. Take care of yourself, and don't do anything stupid. If you do, I'll have to come over there and kick your arse."

Rob really wanted to promise not to do anything stupid, but what he was going to be doing was dangerous, there was no denying it. He had watched so many friends get shot or blown up in his time, this wasn't something he could promise her and it ached inside because of it. He was silent at first, still just clinging to her, until the officer in charge put the call out and started barking orders at everyone to board. His eyes fell closed and he pulled back just enough to cup her face and kiss her deeply, but quickly, trying to put everything he was feeling in that final embrace. The previous night together - their wedding night - was something he wasn't going to forget. It was probably what would fuel him on to get him through this posting at the end of the day. "I love you," he whispered against her lips and then pulled away. He caught her eyes just before stooping to get his pack, which he threw heavily over his shoulder to get on. True to his word, though, he walked away, and didn't look back at her, and he was saluting his senior officer and boarding the truck before either of them could actually realise this really was goodbye.

Words: 1452 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

just_muse_me | 24.3.5 The End Was Near

doesntwaltz — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:16:21 GMT

Co-written with tacticalmind | Dated 09/09/09 | Follows THIS

Leila pulled away, her eyes still closed as it started to sink in that they really had just shared their first kiss as man and wife. The priest--or whoever it was--announced them as Mr and Mrs Laird, and her stomach flipped. She'd really just got married. She couldn't believe it. All those years of saying she'd never really wanted it, would just prefer to keep things casual with anyone she'd met, she really didn't know what she'd been talking about. Leila leaned in to kiss Rob again, cupping his face with her hands.

The white dress he'd got her wasn't quite wedding material, but it did fit, and the figure hugging cocktail dress was certainly a huge jump from what she usually wore. She'd even managed a blue necklace, 'borrowed' earrings from Tab she'd found on the side of the bathroom sink, and her old glasses were fixed in place so she could see her new husband. Not bad for last minute, especially since her dress covered the something new.

She pulled Rob aside, making room for the next couple to get hitched. She didn't pay attention though, her gaze locked with Rob's as she grinned. There was an awkward pause, and she let out a nervous laugh. "Now what?"

Rob had actually been highly amused when the receptionist at the Little White Chapel of whatever the eff tried to insist Leila wear a veil because the dress needed it. The woman nearly ended up with the small bouquet of roses lodged up her ass in response. As it was, Rob had gotten the bouquet especially for her, because he had seen the movies and the TV shows with the crappy little worn bunch of fake flowers that was handed over to every couple using their services. He wanted to try and make it special for her, and have some small touches to make it uniquely theirs. As it was, it was a far cry from his first wedding. Ellie had wanted the whole damn expensive charade with about eight bridesmaids and whatever other painful wedding tradition she could squeeze into a single day where everyone had to focus solely on her. Rob just remembered feeling so hot in the tuxedo she picked him out almost splitting his pants when he was doing up his shoes because they were so tight and probably polyester.

This was different, and he actually couldn't have wanted anything more. It didn't matter how they did it, or what Leila had in her hair. They practically laughed most of the way through it because they were having a good time, but managed to regain their composure for the actual vows. They had arrived in Vegas the afternoon before, and spent the evening and night shopping, and in a few casinos. At some point over the day, they realised they would be actually getting married on the unique date of 09/09/09, so Rob shoved a $500 chip on the number nine on roulette as they passed, and won quite a lot of money because of it. It just seemed to seal the deal. They holed up in the hotel room for the rest of the night having their own private final night of unmarried passion, and it was now the following morning and they really had just tied the knot.

He let out a rush of breath and laughed, still not quite believing he had a wedding ring on his finger again, and wasn't single anymore. Not that his single life had lasted long. He was on marriage number two, but as far as he was concerned, it shat all over anything in his past. They had to fly back to New York that afternoon so he could get some rest and be at the brig first thing in the morning. He didn't want to think about that now. If he did, he would probably want to throw up. He didn't want to leave her. It was going to hit him hard later, he knew it. "Well, we could get some breakfast... or brunch. Not that I'm a brunch sorta guy. Or we could go lose all our money in poker. Or we could just go back to the hotel, spend up big on room service and make the most of the time we have left here," he suggested, letting his fingers explore the curves of her body in the dress that he decided he absolutely loved her in. "Can't exactly get thrown in a chopper without consummating my marriage, can I?"

Leila smirked, her fingers trailing down the edge of his collar. "No, you really can't. Besides, you don't want to leave me without giving me enough satisfaction to last months, do you?" This time the kiss she gave him was fuelled by hunger, the idea of spending the entire day locked in their room more than agreeing with her. "I vote for the hotel and room service."

Rob was almost left breathless with the force of the kiss, and lost his balance in the embrace, laughing as it eased off. "Oh, you issue a tough assignment, my love," he teased. "You're going to have to ply me with coffee and energy drinks to keep me going. I ain't gonna be able to walk tomorrow, am I?"

Leila slipped her arms around his waist, and pressed herself up against him as she shook her head. "Nope. I'm not letting you get off easy. The Army will just have to deal with it. They're still going to have you, just I'm having you first. It's my right as your wife now."

Rob squeezed her softly and gave her another kiss before the celebrant pointedly cleared his throat and gestured to the next couple hovering in the doorway of the chapel. Rob shot them an apologetic smile and nodded, slipping his arm around Leila's waist and starting to lead her out of the venue. "You know, I never would have pegged myself as one to get hitched in Vegas," he admitted. "What about you? And you don't happen to know any lawyers who might be able to squeeze me in for a quick meeting this afternoon, would you?" he laughed.

They made their way out onto the busy street, but their hotel wasn't too far a walk away. "I'm waiting for that post-wedding panic to kick in like it did last time. It ain't coming, that's gotta be a good thing," he decided, glancing at her with a smile.

Leila squinted in the sudden sunlight, and nodded. "Yeah, it's a good thing. I don't even have it. I never actually thought I'd get married, let alone get married in Vegas. I always figured it was more for Andy, and Luke. Well, okay, more Andy. Luke took me by surprise. He has never shied from a relationship, but I was beginning to wonder if he would actually settle down. I'm glad he found Tab. I'm happy for Andy, too. And you know?" she asked, tucking herself against his side as they walked, her thumb rubbing against the wedding band on her finger. It didn't feel odd, it felt like it belonged. "I'm seriously fucking happy and glad I found you."

Rob rubbed his hand down over her arm and pressed a lingering kiss to her hair. He had to try and keep his mind on the straight and narrow or that little niggle in his gut promised to engulf him, and it would ruin their last day together. All he wanted was more time with her. He never expected to fall in love so soon after everything went down before he came to New York. He never expected to fall so hard. That tingle inside him wanted him to give into the hurt that was going to come when he got shipped out the next day, but he would just deal with it, once he was away from her so he didn't upset her and fuck up their remaining time. "Same," he told her, his voice a little choked, so he cleared his throat and offered a polite smile to a passing couple. "I hope they're okay with everything. I know how protective of you they are."

"They'll live. I'm happy, and they like you. They have nothing against you, and I think they'll understand." At least she hoped they would. She had no plans for taking the rings off her finger, especially the crest ring Rob had given her when he'd proposed. She paused suddenly, shifting to get into the small bag she'd carried with her. She pulled out a digital camera, and flicked it on before holding it out in front of them. "Kiss me for the record, Sergeant?" She'd already recorded most of their trip, glad for once that cameras were so compact these days. She'd wanted to bring her SLR, but it would have been too bulky for the wedding. "Oh, and I think Andy's partner's best friend's brother is a lawyer if that helps."

Rob laughed, looking at her in amusement. "Even though you're a photographer, do the photos you take of yourself still turn out as dorky as us photography plebians?" he asked curiously and gave her a big kiss, only just manage not to keep laughing in response. "Partner's best friend's brother. That makes my head hurt. Think he might do me a favour if I pull the I'm about to be shipped out and need a new will ASAP card?"

There was a flash when she took the photo, and as she turned the camera back off, Leila laughed as well. "Yes, they do actually. You'll have to indulge me today. I'm going to take as many photos as I can. I saw a place in the hotel where I can get them printed, too. I'll give you some before you leave. You're allowed photos, right?" Leila nodded, tucking her camera back in her bag so she could get back to hugging her husband. "Yeah, Jamie's biological dad. I think I probably should have said that in the first place... Mark Campbell, I think? I'm sure he would. Wait, will?"

Rob's eyebrows shot up again. "As many photos as you can of the whole day?" he squeaked, wondering how the place in the hotel would feel seeing photos of them of their day holed up in the hotel with room service, among other things. He nodded. "Yeah, sure. I can take a small pack of things with me. Jamie's biological Dad... wow. That's some interwoven history there. Is it awkward? Mark Campbell." He slotted the name to the back of his mind, but wasn't sure how he was going to go about convincing the guy to see him quickly, and maybe even after hours.

"Yeah, I..." He bit down on his lips. "Just precaution..." he told her awkwardly. Wills weren't exactly the best topic of conversation on a wedding day, were they?

Leila winked at him. "Most of it, yeah. You have to allow me some naughty moments. I promise I won't get those printed here. I'll do them at home where I can relive the memories in privacy. So relax your privates, soldier. You won't get in any trouble. Not so much awkward, just loaded. Luke said he was there to help Ali when Andrew was... well, when he fell off the wagon." Leila tried not to let out a sigh. She understood, she really did. It was just another reminder that he was going to be gone soon, and she was going to miss him like mad. Probably spend the whole time worrying, no matter what she'd said to the contrary. "Of course... I get it."

Rob couldn't help but let out a relieved breath. He wasn't a prude, but he wasn't sure he wanted strangers gawping at his performance via photos, but he did laugh at himself because of it. "Some people would probably pay a lot of money to have gorgeous naked photos of you. I might be forced to use my skills beyond my job," he warned teasingly. He hugged her tightly, trying to apologise via the embrace. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I really am. It's just, the divorce... if anything happened, she could dispute my estate without an updated will. I don't want her having anything. I just want to make this all legal and official."

"I'm trying not to find the idea of you killing people on my behalf hot, and failing miserably. I blame the excitement of getting married. I'm clearly getting delirious," she laughed. Leila rest her head against Rob's shoulder. "I know... I really do. And I'm glad you're trying to get this right, it's just hard. I know I said I'd be cool, but it's getting hard. I want to enjoy today, but the idea of saying goodbye tomorrow sucks dogs balls."

"I'd be very clean about the killing," Rob joked, rubbing her back. It wasn't really a joke. He was supposed to be clean about everything as a sniper. That was the whole point. That niggle turned into more of a stabbing sensaton now and crawled up somewhere between his heart and stomach. "I know, and I wanted to talk to you about that. It might just be easier, or better, to say goodbye tonight. Tomorrow it'll be... all official and maybe seeing me like that isn't the best way to leave things."

"Official?" Leila asked as she lifted her head, and looked at him. She was oblivious to the crowd around them, Rob the only person that mattered. "You mean you'd be in uniform?"

Rob loosened off his tie a little as he got warm in the Vegas heat. "Yeah, I'll be in uniform. But I'm a Sergeant. There won't be much contact between us, probably not even much eye contact. I'm on the brig in an official capacity. Once I'm there, I'm... someone else. Especially considering I've been called to service. We could always say goodbye at the gates before I go in. I'm not saying you can't be in there to say goodbye. Families come, just, we're on duty. This is sounding more and more fucked up by the minute, isn't it?"

"A little," Leila conceded with a small smile. "I guess we can give the main goodbye tonight. I'd still like to drop you off if I can. I won't come inside. Shit," she cursed, taking a deep breath, feeling a lump grow in her throat. "This isn't fucking fair. I'm sorry, I don't mean to drag this whole moment down. Maybe it's better we get it out now."

Rob paused in their walk, even though they were within the vicinity of their hotel. He pulled her close to him, just hugging her securely. "It's okay, darlin'. I know this sucks, and I wish it could be different. I know there wasn't even any other way I could have prepared you for this to lessen the sting. I didn't have enough warning. There's just shit going down in Afghanistan with Aussie soldiers being blown up and things always get tense. They tightened the belt and try to cover their asses, hence more troops. I'm hoping it's going to be a short posting. I might be back sooner than a few months." He hadn't ever been posted any less than three months, though, but he didn't want to add to the crap already. Their last day together was probably going to be bittersweet. It was hard to pretend nothing was wrong when the very reason they were there in the first place was because something was wrong.

Leila clutched at the back of his shirt, and tried not to cry. She knew the lump was growing, but she didn't want to give in. Not until he was gone. He shouldn't have to watch her cry, not today.

The silence told him more than words could and he just continued to hold her, brushing his hand soothingly up and down her back. "I'm going to stay in touch as much as I can, okay? I promise you that. Any time I've got a break, I'll be there to talk to you," he promised her quietly, talking close to her ear. "And we'll make up for it when I get back. We can go on that road trip and make up for lost time. I ain't gonna stop thinking about you."

"Me either," Leila murmured. Her voice caught on the lump, and she bit down on her lip. It was a long moment before she thought she could look at him without crying. "We're still owed a honeymoon. Maybe we should do the road trip as that? It would be fun, and it would just be us. Plus fucking in every state we enter? Hot."

"Definitely need a honeymoon," Rob agreed, knowing he would more than need it once he got home. Maybe after he slept for a week. He always came home drained and down-trodden, but still proud of what he achieved. Ironically, the race with Ellie was going to be his holiday last time and it nearly ruined him. He needed something to renew his love in road trips again. "Is there anywhere in particular you want to go or want to see? There must be one place where you've always thought, well shit, I need to see that before I die."

Leila tilted her head, almost embracing the change of topics. It was helping dissolve the lump in her throat. "Um, let's see... It has to be somewhere to get to by car, otherwise what's the point? Actually, there's a new entry on my list. Littlerock. I'd like to see where you grew up. Maybe meet your mum?"

Rob had to laugh, pulling back a little to see her. "You ain't heard much about Arkansas, have you? It's hardly New York. A lot of... cows and stuff," he offered. "My folks will love you. Granted, there might be a bit of general annoyance that I didn't tell them about this, but they'll understand. I know they should have met you before this. That's something I would change if I could," he admitted.

"I know, and same with me. At least you met Andy, and Luke. And hey, I can deal with cows! Maybe I need something that's not New York for a little while." Leila smiled at him, raising her hand to touch his hair. "I love you, Robert Laird."

"You gotta take care of those cousins of yours. Andrew needs you right now. Maybe that's why fate got me shipped out, so you can keep an eye on him for a lil while. Help him get back on his feet like you did when he was in London. I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and wonder if you'll find your way back." Rob smiled at her, leaning into the touch a little. Her touches were always soft and soothing. His hair had gotten long on his leave, to the point he needed to actually throw some product into it each morning to stop it sticking up all over the place. It lightened to it's normal blond colour too when it was longer. Back to the standard army crop tomorrow morning, which he needed in the heat of the Middle East anyway. "I love you right back, Leila Jackson," he told her and rested his forehead against hers, touching her lips softly with his thumb.

Her nose crinkled as she started to laugh. "I think it's Leila Laird now, isn't it? Makes me sound... I don't know. Not that I don't love your name, just the double L's. I'm definitely going to go back and take care of Andrew. I guess maybe Fate is doing us a favour, but I'm still going to hate on it for a little while if that's okay?" Her tongue flicked out to touch the tip of his thumb, and she smiled. "Wanna go get consummated?"

Rob laughed and shook his head. "Please don't feel that you have to take my name. I ain't gonna be offended if you don't. Sorry I don't have a more conducive name, but I promise, it ain't a necessity or anything. Unless you want to do the whole hyphenating thing. Either way, I'm cool." He took her hand and held it up, kissing her wedding ring. "This is all I need, and yes, I do wanna go get consummated," he added with a grin.

"Leila Jackson-Laird?" It was food for thought, at any rate. Maybe by the time they'd spent the day consummating their marriage, she'd have made a decision about her name. She ran her fingers through his hair again, before resting her hand against the back of his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. "Then let's go, Sergeant."

Words: 3469 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

musesandlyrics | 2.3 Jimi Hendrix Quote

doesntwaltz — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 02:38:26 GMT

2.3. "I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to."
Jimi Hendrix

Co-written with tacticalmind | Follows THIS

It was five in the morning, and Rob was going to hell. Directly to hell. The sun was barely just starting to rise, and he was about to ring the buzzer of an apartment housing more than one person, and probably wake them all up. Maybe even with a baby still visiting, which he really hoped wasn't the case because he would go to even deeper hell if he woke a baby up on top of everything else. But time was the whole crux of the matter, because there wasn't very much of it. By now, he didn't even know if he was doing the right thing or not, he was just operating on sheer adrenaline and very little sleep. The strange headache beginning between his eyes told him this. What was he doing? He didn't particularly know, but he knew he just had to try. It wasn't like he could do any of it alone, and if she didn't want it, he wouldn't push her. At the very least, at least she would know he would. That was better than nothing, right?

"You're a goddamn jerk, Laird," he muttered to himself as he hovered in front of the apartment block. Couldn't he have at least waited until the sun was up? He could, but the flight was for just after 9am. He hoped even if she wavered on what he was about to ask her, she might still take the trip to Vegas with him and they could have the night and day together there before he had to leave on Thursday. He was just so nervous that his stomach felt like it was lodged up in his chest and he let out a rush of breath as he pushed the heel of his palm against the apartment buzzer just long enough to alert his presence, but not long enough to be obnoxious.

Leila was pulled roughly out of her sleep by the sound of the buzzer closely followed by Luke and Tab cursing. Thankfully there was no sleeping baby, otherwise the small apartment might have been filled with a screaming ball of flesh. Leila called out to her cousin, and his wife, telling them to stay in bed while she took care of it. Leila had been asleep on the sofa bed, the apartment a single bedroom place. She was hardly going to boot Luke and Tab from the bedroom once they came back to their own apartment. She'd just wait for them to go back to Princeton whenever that was. At least they were finding a way to cope in the space. Even when Rob had come over the other night.

She opened the window, leaning out of it to get a look at who was down on the stoop. She recognised Rob immediately, and grinned. "Hey, lover," she called out, giving him a wave before she went to buzz open the door to the building, and then unlocking the door to the apartment. She didn't bother getting out of the t-shirt and boxers she'd been sleeping in, stifling a yawn as she shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee while she waited for him.

Rob was going over words and questions over and over in his head as he bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She didn't sound angry or pissed that he had disrupted her sleep, so maybe she just thought he was trying to get an early start on the day, and their time left together? It was Tuesday morning. If they flew out to Vegas on the flight he had booked, they would get there in the afternoon, have the night together and then the following day before they would need to fly back the following afternoon so he could be in New York to leave for Afghanistan on Thursday morning. He fucking hoped the adrenaline had staying power. He didn't actually look 'rested'. In fact, he probably looked like hell, but he figured he could sleep on the plane.

He hesitantly went into the apartment, still not sure for certain where he stood with her family. He probably stood firmly in the shit books now. He hovered for a few moments, trying to spot where she was before he caught movement off to the left, leaning to see her in the kitchen. His heart leapt up into his throat and he had to swallow heavily to try and stop it escaping his mouth. "Hey," he greeted her hoarsely, and actually hesitated at kissing her, the nerves kicking in full force, before his conscience kicked him in the butt to remind him to do it, and he went over to give her a kiss, hand resting on her hip.

Leila reached out to touch his arm, frowning as she looked up at him after the kiss. The hesitation hadn't escaped her notice, even if she was still half asleep. Her tongue darted to skate across her lips, like she was trying to work out what was wrong with him just by his lingering taste. "Always did like a man eager to see me. Maybe we should think about getting you your own key. I know you won't be able to use it much now, but when you come back..." Assuming Leila was even still in New York. She had no idea how long Rob would be gone, or where she'd be. With Andy losing the baby, she had no idea what to do. She was tempted to just stay so she could be with her family from now on in. Plus it would give Rob somewhere to come back to. He'd know where she was.

"Yeah... sure..." Rob agreed, not actually linking the enormity of what she had just said in his head. He shifted his weight nervously, eyes sweeping over the coffee making items without really taking much of anything in. "I... there's something I..." He closed his mouth again, floundering a little as his hand tried to take over in lieu of speech and he waved it a little pointlessly in the air. Suddenly this was seeming like a stupid, impulsive action and he was getting cold feet, purely from not actually being able to know how to approach her with this without freaking her out. But why wouldn't she freak out? He may as well just declare he was gay and wanted a French lover called Pierre for the impact it was going to have.

Leila slid her hand down to his hand, and curled her fingers around it tightly. "What's wrong, Littlerock? You're all... I don't know. Did you get another call? Did we lose the three days?" A sharp pain twisted in her gut, and she realised if she had lost the three days she'd be devastated. She was relying on these three days, hoping that somehow she'd be able to say goodbye to him without losing it. She was going to miss him enough as it was. "You can tell me anything, remember?"

Rob exhaled heavily in a rush and turned to her, squeezing her hand. The both of his around it. This was hard. He had no ring, no general conventional props that would make a moment like this a lot easier. Not to mention that he was more than aware that she would not be anticipating this at all, and she probably didn't even want it. What the hell was he playing at?! His heart was pounding in his chest and he tried to hold onto his composure. Actually, maybe he did have something to help him. He looked down at his hands around hers. He had a gold ring on the pinkie of his right hand, a crest that had his grandfather's initials on it, which just happened to be the same as his own. His hands were shaking a little, but he managed to slip it off and held it up. "I want you to have this," he told her and bit down on his lips. "There's something... I thought..." He hesitated and just held the ring out to her, waiting for her response to that first.

Leila squinted at the ring, wrapping her fingers around his wrist to try and keep it steady so she could focus on the ring. Now she wished she'd grabbed her glasses, but she'd been too sleepy to even think of them. She leaned forward to try and get a better, look, her mouth falling open a little. "Your ring? But it... it means so much to you. Are you sure?" There was something about the way he was giving it to her that had Leila wondering if maybe there was something more to it. She briefly entertained the idea of a proposal, but dismissed it. Surely it wasn't that. "It's beautiful, and I'd love to keep it, but are you sure?"

Rob swallowed, and realised somewhere between taking the ring off and offering it to her, his breathing had become just slightly more shallow than usual. He hadn't even been this nervous when he proposed to Ellie, but that was probably because she had been expecting it for months and kept having her friends ask him when he was going to do it. Hell, she had her mother ask him when he was going to do, which guilted him into actually doing it. He should have trusted that little niggle in his gut back then that was holding him off on doing it. That niggle was telling him a whole different story now. It was amazing how a little niggle could say so much. He looked at the ring and her hands wrapped around his as she looked closely at it. "Leila, I..." he began, wetting his lips as his eyes went from their hands to her face. "Will you marry me?"

Leila looked at him at first like maybe he was crazy. That maybe he was in on some joke she wasn't getting. Then she looked down at the ring again, and frowned. Slowly it was trickling through her mind just what he was asking her, and the knot in her stomach loosened, and became more like butterflies. She'd never really dated before, let alone had someone propose to her. And she definitely hadn't been expecting it. A part of her was definitely telling her to say no, but the rest of her? The rest of her was actually dying to say yes. She was already becoming reliant on him. She couldn't go a day anymore without seeing him, and the idea of him being in Afghanistan was slowly eating away at her. "Yes," she replied quietly.

Rob's eyes were wide. "What?" was his answer, acknowledging now the fact he expected her to say no. Wait, wasn't it supposed to be the proposee doing the stunned, wide-eyed stare thing? He was getting this all wrong! "I mean, um! Yes," he repeated her answer with a laugh of disbelief, still gripping hold of the ring. "Did you say yes? Did I ask the right thing?" he asked, flustered, laughing nervously again.

Leila let out a laugh that matched his before she grinned, and held out her left hand for him to slide the ring onto if he wanted. "Yes, I said yes! Don't make me rethink it. Are you sure I'm the only one getting surprised by this proposal?" She raised her eyebrows a little as she pressed her lips together. "I don't know if you asked the right thing, that's up to you. Did you ask the right thing?"

"I'm horrible!" Rob declared and put his fingers up to his lips. The ring was still held out to her. He wasn't backing out on anything, he wanted this. He wanted this more than his rationality was letting him find the words to say. "It's not just... I mean... I do. Yes. I want you to say yes, I asked the right question, yes. I just... I did something else, and I wanted to ask you because I want to, but also because it's been driving me crazy how much it's going to mean with me just upping and going away on Thursday, and also what it won't mean. But I don't want you to think I'm just asking for that, because I'm not. I just... if there was a choice, I would have made this so much more better for you, and not in this painful rushed way that makes me think like I'm just doing this for other reasons, because I'm really not. I promise I'm not. But I... I don't mean to get married some time down the track..." he finally admitted.

Leila listened to him, her eyes fixed on his face. She was trying to follow him, she really was. She took the ring off him, and slid it onto her finger, buying her brain more time to process, and wake up. She had to admit, it wasn't a bad reason to be up this early. She didn't even notice when the jug finally clicked off to signal the hot water was boiled. The ring fit her finger, and the feel of it sent a tingle down her spine. She reached out to take his hand again and moved in closer to him. "Then what do you mean?"

Rob took the receipt from the airline that had been emailed to him from his pocket, handing it over to her. "Tomorrow?"

Leila took the paper, and held it close to her face as she squinted. She could just make out some of the words. "Tomorrow? Like, tomorrow-tomorrow?"

Rob nodded slowly. "Yeah, tomorrow-tomorrow," he confirmed and then put his hand up to scratch his head. "I know, it sounds stupid just thinking about it like that. It hasn't been long, and you probably think I'm nuts. But I realised if I go on Thursday, there is not much more I can give you to convince you that I would come home however long down the track and just... pick up where we left of. At the same time, there is no reason for you to even want to hang around and wait. I shouldn't expect that of you and not be able to give you something in return. I just didn't know what I could give you, I just wanted some way to show you how much you mean to me. But taking the emotion out of anything, and going right down to the technicalities. If I... if something happened to me. If I got injured... or killed, you wouldn't be notified. You wouldn't have any way of knowing, and even if you found out in some way, you wouldn't be privy to details or information."

"Unless I was your wife?" Leila asked, understanding beginning to dawn on her. She slipped her arms around him in a hug and rest her head on his shoulder. She couldn't believe he was actually giving this to her. It was a massive gesture on his part. "It's not stupid, it makes a crazy kind of sense. And the truth is I want it... I didn't even know until you were asking. You didn't even have to do this, I would have waited regardless. Not hearing anything would have been so hard. I didn't even think about that, either. So, tomorrow-tomorrow it is. I don't even have a dress."

"I just hate that this has to be so... procedural. I just ain't aware of what the lay of the land is in Afghanistan. Iraq it was all second nature, but this is a new post and I'm a new rank. I probably could have trusted my friends in my old brigade to get in touch with you if something happened, but I don't know any of the new guys. Besides, I just wanted to give you something. If you think about this and get cold feet, change your mind, it's okay, alright?" Rob insisted, holding her gaze as he kissed her softly. "I'll understand. I really will. We can just have an awesome time in Vegas away from everything until I go. If you still want to go through with it, we can buy anything you want or need there, my shout," he told her with a smile.

Leila didn't need to think about it. This was one moment when being relatively impulsive was on her side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a deep kiss. She wasn't planning on backing out. Maybe it was insanity, and it was reckless, but she'd deal with all that later. This was a gift from him she was definitely not turning down. "I love you," she whispered as the kiss eased off. The words had slipped out without her even realising, and when she did, she gave him a sheepish look. They'd known each other for weeks, but she'd fallen, and it had been hard and fast. And it was probably why she could go through with a Vegas wedding and not think about it. "I'm not changing my mind, Littlerock. It's also okay if you decide to change yours. Just so you know. I didn't realise how much I needed a link to you until you asked."

Rob broke into a wide smile. "Me too!" he told her, and then regained his composure. "I mean, and I apologise for that dork moment, I love you too. I ain't gonna change my mind. I'm just realising that sometimes to get the right result, you gotta do things in maybe a not so conventional way. I'm a small town guy, it's a learning curve," he laughed softly. "And I'll make it up to you in Vegas. But I ain't dressing as Elvis for the ceremony. I gotta draw the line there," he said with a smirk.

"Draw the line anyway you want. You love me!" Leila exclaimed as she laughed, then kissed him again. "Shit, we're getting married. Wait, when are we going? I need to get changed! I should probably have a quick shower, too. Oh my god, I really want engagement sex, but maybe we should wait until tomorrow night. According to Luke, the Wedding Night is like the best ever sex. And so's married sex in general."

Rob's eyebrows shot up. "I guess it depends on who you're married to," he mused, his nose scrunched slightly in thought. Ellie hadn't been the best he'd had. In fact, Leila had. By leaps and bounds. And now he was just intrigued by linking her cousin's theory to that fact. He maybe even lapsed into a not-so-innocent train of thought for a moment, head tilted as he tried to imagine the best sex of his life maybe coming real soon. Which wasn't fair, because he immediately got hard and stepped back a little with a flush to his cheeks. "I, um... um... nine. We fly out at nine," he finally answered, clearing his throat.

He hadn't pulled away quickly enough, Leila feeling his reaction to whatever he'd been thinking. Leila smirked, and took him by the hand to lead him to the bathroom. "Plenty of time, then. I think you need a shower, too. All that running around, and proposing... It's hard work. You need to get all refreshed." And surely Luke wouldn't deny her once he understood. Things had gone quiet again in their bedroom, so for all she knew he was just enjoying some extremely stealthy marriage sex right now. She wasn't sure if she should tell him before she went, or just go and worry about the fall out after. Things with Andrew were still hard, but it wasn't like Leila would be gone for that long. She'd also need to tell Andrew as well, wouldn't she? Her cousins deserved to know. It was just a matter of whether it was now, or after the fact.

"Oh, I like how you think, Miss Jackson," Rob agreed with a mischievous grin, following her without protest. There was no doubt going to be fallout from what they were going to do. He just hoped it was brief shock and then much easier in the wake of it. He felt guilty not telling his folks, but he knew they would come to understand. His Mom had told him many times in the wake of the disaster with Ellie that he needed to start doing what made him happy. And Leila made him happy. Doing her made him happy too, and there was that naughty train of thought again. He could be quiet, right?

Leila got him into the bathroom, and closed the door, pressing Rob up against the sink as she slipped a hand between them to cup him through his pants. She smiled, pressing her lips to his neck. "And I like the way you feel, Sergeant Laird." They could both be quiet, right? Even if everything inside Leila wanted to be screaming her love for him. Especially now she'd actually told him. "I love you," she murmured again, her mouth and tongue sliding against his skin before she nipped at it lightly with her teeth. She was definitely going to take every chance to tell him over the next few days. She didn't want to think about what would happen when he was gone, but he was right. Getting married would keep them tied, and she needed something to latch onto. She'd never wanted to belong somewhere, or with someone, as badly as she did right now.

Words: 3575 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

just_1_word | 39.4 Job

doesntwaltz — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 07:13:02 GMT

Co-written with tacticalmind
[Follows THIS and THIS]

Rob hadn't used his car much since arriving in New York. In fact, he wasn't overly confident being behind any wheel in the traffic of a city the size of New York, let alone behind the wheel of his car, which he didn't want to end up total in the side of a taxi. But he also wasn't in the mood to deal with public transport or the like right now, so he got into his car and drove over the Leila's place. And got lost, inevitably. He took a wrong turn at a wrong light, or something, and only made it to his destination well over an hour beyond the time he told her. The whole thing served only to aggravate him more than he was, but he managed to stamp it out as he walked up the block to her apartment, looking forlornly back at his car and wondering if it really was safe to leave parked in the only spot he had found free... and he only even parked it there after much contemplation why the spot was free in the first place. His car had to be about the only thing in the world he was paranoid about.

He rang the buzzer on the apartment, and checked the back pocket of his jeans to make sure the divorce papers were still there where he had shoved them. He reflexively looked at his watch, as if checking how much time he had left until 0700 hours on Thursday. It was stupid, but this had left him more discontent than he liked to admit. He had to try and get his head together.

Leila jumped to let Rob into the building, realising too late that although she was leaving the actual door to the apartment unlocked, he still had to get into the building. She waited to see if Luke and Tab stirred, but they seemed to stay behind the door to the bedroom. Leila tried to work out if she should sit, or stand, her arms moving helplessly as she remained indecisive. She started to pace, running her fingers through her mess of blonde hair. She caught her fingers in a knot, and rushed to grab a brush before Rob came up. She knew he liked her natural, but there was natural, and then there was was stone age.

She still had the brush in hand when she heard footsteps, throwing it in the direction of the kitchen sink so she didn't get caught in the act of grooming. She ran her fingers over her lips, and frowned, still trying to work out why Rob needed to see her so desperately. Her stomach clenched, and she had this feeling like it wasn't going to be good news. And it probably wasn't a booty call.

Rob pushed the door of the apartment open hesitantly, trying not to make too much noise. He figured if he had crashed out when he got home, everyone here would be tempted to do the same thing, especially considering the miniest member of the family had spent the night there. She wasn't much of a crier, but when she did, she made a good job of it. Rob couldn't blame her, though. If his Mum and Dad were in a crisis, he would probably want to bawl and ask for his Dad too. He glanced around and spotted her with a smile. "Hey," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you up or anything? I'll go as soon as I can. I just... this is important." He took her hand and leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the lips in greeting.

Leila smiled at him, raising her free hand to caress his cheek before he pulled back. "Hey. No, it's fine. I dozed off, but I don't mind you waking me up. Rather you than someone else. I was just hoping it wasn't a message about Andrew. Now that Ali's looking after him, I'm hoping he'll be okay. He'll have the hangover from hell, but he should be okay." She looked at Rob from behind her glasses, her eyebrows now raised expectantly. "You don't have to rush off. What's happened? Are you okay?"

Rob scratched at the back of his head and offered a small, wry smile. "Yeah, I know. Poor guy. I don't think I could even handle black label vodka on a good night, let alone a bad one. But at least they have food there, if he ever feels like eating again in his life." He cleared his throat, fighting the urge to pace again. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. "Let's go corny and cheesy, here. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Tell me about it. I've never been a massive vodka drinker. It can be evil." Leila snorted a small laugh as she watched him. "That's not really corny and cheesy. Maybe more just a cliche, or something. Um... let's go good. Maybe it'll help bolster me through the bad."

Rob shook his head, hovering a little as he wondered whether he should sit or not. "I think he wanted something that got to the point fast. Drinking that stuff can only be as punishment, surely. Those cosmos nearly killed me that night. I'm more than happy to be a beer guy." He took the papers from his back pocket and pulled the letter from his solicitor out. "My divorce is through. It got finalised last Wednesday. She got the house back home, but a small price to pay to get this fast-tracked." He handed her the letter with a small shrug so she could see the fact for herself.

Leila took the papers, pulling him back towards the sofa. She sat down, focusing on the letter as she read. Her mouth fell open a little, and she turned her head to fix her gaze on Rob again. "Shit, this is... fantastic. Isn't it? I mean, it's a divorce so I'm probably not thinking champagne and party poppers, but still. You're a free man. How does it feel?"

Rob laughed and sat down beside her, folding his hands in front of him. "Yeah, of course it's fantastic. It feels... cathartic. Relieving. She had been causing me some hassles with the settlement, so I was more than ready to see the end of. Actually tried to pull the 'I'm pregnant and need maintenance' card." He snorted and shook his head. "I'm just glad it's over, to be honest. Marrying her was the biggest mistake of my life."

Leila's face twisted, and she hissed out a breath. The more she heard about Rob's now officially ex-wife, the more she hated the woman. She leaned over to steal a quick kiss, and handed him the letter back. "I'm glad it's over. I don't even know her, and I know she was never right for you. Fuck her for trying to pull that card. Bitch. She deserves the biggest Karmic payback for that."

Rob took the letter and tucked it back into the envelope. "I don't think it will be too long before she gets it. She was messing with some powerful people when she screwed me over. It was the reason why she could screw me over so badly. I think it's only a matter of time." He put the envelope down on the coffee table so he could take her hand. He couldn't stifle the small sigh that escaped, rubbing his fingers over the back of her hand.

"Good. She earned it." Leila's eyebrows drew together, her joy at his divorce shortlived as she dropped her gaze to their hands. The bad news was going to be really bad, she could tell. Now she didn't need that feeling in her gut telling her. She was trying to race ahead, and anticipate what it could be, but she was failing. "What is it? You're starting to scare me a bit, you know that?"

Rob just felt tired and he let out a slow breath. "I got called. They're shipping me to Afghanistan this Thursday morning, first thing." He looked up at her apologetically, and squeezed her hand.

Leila felt like the floor and couch had been ripped out from under her. She thought she was going to fall over the way her head kept spinning. "What?" she asked, her voice husky. It was like she couldn't remember how to talk, or blink, or do much of anything. She knew it was always going to be a possibility, but now? Now, when she needed him to be here. Needed him to keep her steady while she kept her family steady? She felt herself nodding dumbly, and raised her hand to cover her mouth. "I... Thursday?"

Rob wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. "I know, I'm sorry. If I could change this and not go, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can't even get my head around it myself, but I got the call from my commanding officer this morning and I can't call on my leave. It's my first assignment as a Sergeant. I have no choice but to go, especially considering I'm still tarnished from the damn court-martial. And I wish we could have more time, and that I could keep my promise to you to be here for you, but I'm so sorry. We have four days... it's just... better than nothing, I suppose. And I can be in touch when I'm over there, I promise."

Leila clutched at him, burying her face against his chest. She wanted more time, needed more time. This was the Army though, and there was no more time. He was right, he had to go. "Shit, I'm sorry. I hate that I'm not taking this as coolly as I wanted to. I fail at bad news taking. Four days is definitely better than nothing. You better keep in touch... I'll kill you if you don't," she added in a mumble.

Rob just continued to hold her and kissed her head, letting it linger. "It's okay. I know it sucks. It sucks a lot..." He didn't actually want to tell her how much it sucked, but fact of the matter was, if anything happened to him overseas, she probably wouldn't be notified, and if the news did reach her, it would be some time after anything went down. It made his gut churn and something was setting off an uncomfortable anxiety inside him. This wasn't fair. He was finally getting a chance at being happy, and he was getting taken away again. Shipping out was never easy, and he always found it hard. But this just felt different this time. How could he prove to her that it would be alright when he didn't know if it would? He felt like she had given him so much accepting what he was and who he was, but he had nothing to give in return. "Are you going to be alright?" he asked her, a slight plea heard in his tone.

She nodded, lifting her head to look at him. Leila shifted to climb into his lap, needing to be even closer to him. She drew him into a slow kiss as she slipped her arms around his neck. As it came to an end, Leila rest her forehead against Rob's. "Yeah, I just... need a moment. I'm going to miss you so much. It's hard enough dealing with Andrew, and now this? I'll get through it. Just... need a moment. Or ten."

Rob felt terrible. For the first time, he actually felt guilty for the job he did. He wanted to keep apologising, but he figured it would just piss her off. He bit down on his lip and nodded. "I'm sorry," he ended up still repeating, though, unable to stop it. "I was hoping I would have more time. I kinda needed it myself, but this is just my life and I'm really sorry you've had be dragged into it."

Leila smiled despite the heavy ache in her chest. "Don't apologise for that. I haven't regretted a single moment of knowing you, Littlerock. Not one. We'll get through this. You said yourself that you'd be able to keep in touch."

Rob nodded and then cleared his throat. "Mostly," he corrected. "It ain't gonna be every day, maybe not even every week. It depends what we get thrown into over there, or how things move. I ain't ever been posted to Afghanistan before, so I don't know the lay of the land. Plus, new base, new people. I'm gonna be really out of my comfort zone. I thought I would have more time to adjust to the idea, or more notice to prepare, but this does happen sometimes. But I will be in touch as much as I can. It just ain't all that glamorous. Some places have web cams, though. Just ain't really had much of a need to bother with them before."

"Do I at least get you for these four days?" Leila asked quietly. "I don't need glamorous. Haven't you figured that out, yet? Just keep in touch when you can. I'll wait. I'm not going to be her, Rob. You're all I care about."

Rob only realised he was subconsciously assuming Leila would react like Ellie with the news of his deployment. He didn't know anything else, and now that he knew Ellie had been fucking around on him the whole time, he didn't really know how it felt to have someone worried about him when he was on duty, beyond his folks. "If there was anything I could do to make this up to you, to assure you that I was... going to come home... that it would be okay, I would do it. You know that, right?"

Leila nodded. "Yeah, I know." She caught his lips in a kiss, pressing her body against his. "I need to be with you. Please."

Rob nodded, searching her eyes. He hoped through his anxiety he could actually manage to give her what she needed. "Okay."

Words: 2349 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

For just_1_word | 37.3 Match

doesntwaltz — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 07:30:50 GMT

Co-written with tacticalmind

Despite technically still being on leave, Rob had to report for duty for the last two days for some intense training sessions, again to prepare him for possible deployment again. Of course his heart was in his service when he had to do it, but he found himself hoping desperately that getting shipped out real soon wasn't on the cards. He just wanted some more time. More time with Leila. He was only just starting to feel comfortable with the dating thing. It didn't feel like he was doing something wrong dating without being divorced and he wanted to spend more and more time with her. Bottom line was, he couldn't get her out of his head.

Which is why he got into his car late that afternoon from training to drive into the city to see her at the bar. He was still in his camos and heavy army boots, but he didn't really care. He knew if he went home to change, he would probably crash on the bed and then he couldn't be sure when he would see her next. He felt out of place entering the bar in his uniform, but he just smiled back politely when the the patrons greeted him with typical respectful smiles or salutes he received when he was dressed like this. He was used to it, it was just all part of the deal being military. He didn't have to look hard to spot her at the bar and he waited for the crowd being served to disperse before going up to her with a smile. "Well, hey there, darlin'," he said in his soft Southern drawl. "Fancy meeting you here."

Leila glanced up, still in autopilot mode from taking orders. "Hey, can I--oh, hey." She broke out into a huge smile, the blonde leaning forward to grab the back of his neck and pull him into a kiss. She'd been thinking about him non-stop, so now that he was here she just wanted to kiss him. "Thanks again for the flowers. They were beautiful." It took Leila another moment to realise he was in his camos. "Wow... you really are my own personal soldier."

Rob laughed as the kiss eased off and smiled at her. "I didn't even steal them to make an impression, either," he joked and pointed to his name badge on his chest. "I just thought I would drop by to see you for a lil bit before I head home. But if you've got your hands full, I don't want to get in your way. This place seems popular with the knocking off crowd."

Leila kept a hand on him as she glanced along the length of the bar. With a nod from her co-worker she was climbing up and over it to be with Rob. She gave him another smile, and tugged his hand in the direction of Luke's office. Her boss-slash-cousin was out the back dealing with inventory which left Leila free to commandeer the small room for her own uses. "I wouldn't have thought badly of you if did. They make a seriously fucking cool impression. Now I just really want to do you in them, but I'll behave. Just need somewhere a little quieter." She pushed him into the office and shut the door behind them. Leila was soon up against him, pulling Rob into another kiss. "The place is very popular, and I was due for a break anyway. I missed you. Hi."

"Oh, I don't think your cousin would appreciate us tainting his bar, would he?" Rob laughed as he followed her lead. He wasn't familiar enough with the place to know where she was taking him, but once the were in the office, he looked around after the kiss with another smile, his tongue resting between his lips. "Or his office," he added and then looked back to meet her eyes. "I missed you too. Hi back." He picked the kiss back up where it left off, deepening it this time and letting it linger as his fingers brushed over her hips and he held her close against him.

Leila smiled against his lips, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush as she felt a giggle rise up inside her and threaten to erupt. She managed to keep it inside, focusing on Rob and the kiss as she let her hands roam over his uniform. She hoped he didn't mind her ruffling him up a bit. She nipped at his bottom lip as the kiss eased off, tugging it slightly as she pulled back and looked up at him. "He'd be fine so long as we don't leave wrappers around just in case Wee Campbell finds himself at this bar. Still, I guess we shouldn't. So you have to go back to the barracks tomorrow? Maybe I could come stay over tonight... if you wanted."

"Wrappers?" Rob laughed. "What sort of wra- oh. Ohh, seriously? Who would leave that around a baby anyway? Assume Wee Campbell is a baby and not a huge middle-aged bagpiper with an interesting Scots nickname." He shook his head, holding her in the embrace with his strong arms. "No, I'm done with the training for now. I'm still technically on leave until... until they need me," he added wryly.

Leila nodded her head slowly as she watched the comprehension dawn on his face. "And Wee Campbell is definitely a baby. A Christmas Miracle baby, actually." Leila looped her arms around his neck, slowly moving to music she could hear from in the bar. She tried not to acknowledge the flicker of sadness that happened every time he mentioned leaving. She'd known what she was getting from the beginning. "Good. So, sleepover? Or are we supposed to wait for a second date?"

Rob smiled. "Kids are always fun. I ain't been around an awful lot of babies, but I like to think one day I might be," he admitted and turned his head to kiss her upper arm. "I ain't really sure, to be honest. As terrible as it sounds, a sleepover sounds much better. I'm in the mood for just chilling and relaxing. It sometimes take a lil while to switch off, you know? Sure your cousin can spare you for the night? It seems real busy out."

Leila's eyebrows went up, but she nodded. Kids had been something to consider for other people, not herself. She hadn't been ready at any stage to consider them. "Our group should give you a head start. It's going through a baby boom right now." Leila smirked. "Maybe the second date can be the sleepover? I don't think there's any rules about going out to have a date. We can just watch a movie, and stuff. And that's why I was thinking I'd come over after work, but you might be asleep."

Rob nodded. "Yeah, I probably would have been, but there you go. Think you're up for the challenge of keeping me awake?" he asked, smiling mischievously. "I can't remember the last time I just hung out with someone and enjoyed their company. A lot has to be said for a date that only needs a comfortable t-shirt and sweat pants. I think I might be extremely tempted, Miss Jackson."

"You're going to have no choice if I'm banging on your door. You might need to keep me awake too, if tonight keeps going like this. That's Friday for you. Everyone wants to kick start the weekend with lots of drinks. No one considers that the bar staff might actually have plans." Leila pressed her lips to his for a soft kiss and winked. "I am all for a date that involves very little in the way of formal clothes, and lots in the way of comfort. Although I might be more about the underwear. I don't want to waste time going home to grab sweats. Still tempted, Sergeant Laird?"

Rob hummed softly in agreement. "You know, I think I just might be," he told her, moving with her as the music slowed down beyond the walls of the office. "Could take a nice, long, hot shower... to help the aching muscles, of course. First and foremost, anyway. Sounds more and more tempting the more I think about it, I believe."

"Definitely have to take care of the aching muscles," Leila echoed with a smirk. She rest her head against his shoulder, dancing with him. "I think there needs to be some takeout involved, too. Something we can feed each other."

Rob raised his eyebrows. "Pizza? Really, really greasy, hot cheesy pizza," he decided with a laugh. He rested his arms around her, enjoying the closeness. He had told himself that he wasn't going to keep dwelling on when he might have to go away. Maybe it was just time for him to suck it all up and actually enjoy his life for a change. Enjoy a relationship and not spend the time analysing it. "We should probably talk a lil bit, too. Just about things in general."

"Is there any other kind?" Leila asked with a grin. She lifted her head again, and looked at him, her blue eyes fixed on his face from behind her glasses. Since Rob had told her that he liked her with glasses, she'd been wearing them more and more instead of going with the contacts. "Like what?"

"Us? If there is an us... or maybe if we want there to continue to be one if there is..." Rob explained and then scrunched his nose up. "How fucked did that just sound?" he laughed and shook his head. "I guess I'm just looking to see if we're on the same page, and what that page is. Without making it some big analytical piece of shit. That's not my intention. I just think talking is important. I want to know what you're thinking, how you're feeling."

"Oh, that kind of talking." Leila nodded as she tried not to make a face. She wasn't always good at talking about her feelings. "Well, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I find myself grinning like an idiot when I get caught. Luke keeps giving me this look, but I don't care. I like you. A lot. I think there is an us, and I'm okay with there being an us. I guess it's just if you want to give us a title beyond the dating thing."

Rob shook his head. "No, no. This isn't about labels. I'm not that anal or obsessive. I just don't want to push you into anything you don't want, without even really being sure what either of us are supposed to want." He paused and wet his lips. "I don't want to miss anything this time around," he added, finally putting his finger on what he was trying to say. "Which is why I'm trying to figure out if this - us - is a second chance or just a bit of fun."

Leila's eyebrows crept up. "You're asking me if we're serious?"

Rob's forehead creased and he shrugged a little. "No? Yes?" He bit down on his lips and then let out a rush of breath. "Maybe?"

"I thought... didn't we already--okay, maybe we didn't. I remember the dating conversation. I guess dating isn't always serious." Leila glanced at the door, and sighed as the song switched to something fast. She stopped dancing, and looked back at Rob. "It's not just a bit of fun to me."

Rob cupped her face in his hands and tipped it up so she was looking at him. "I'm sorry. I'm shutting up now. I didn't mean to put you on the spot," he told her and kissed her softly.

"No, I'm sorry. You should be able to talk if you want to. I just never really thought of it as a bit of fun. Not after the other night." Leila rest her hand on his arm and rubbed it up and down. "I really liked waking up to you. And I liked... I liked making love."

Rob nodded. "Me too. I just, um... the whole just a bit of fun, it didn't really come into it for me. I guess you had me hooked from the start," he admitted with a soft laugh. "I just didn't want to scare you away. You know, the whole almost-divorcee, got fucked over by his ex, not sure if he should try again thing... it could have been quite daunting. Only, with you, I don't think I was ever that."

Leila shook her head. "No, you weren't. I've never felt uncomfortable with you. I don't feel pressured. I know we kind of have a clock ticking over our heads, but I never notice it. All I ever notice is you." She blushed a little, and bit her lip, wondering if it was too corny.

Rob looked at her for a moment and tilted his head a little. "It might not be a clock. I might not get sent away again. Sure, there is a high chance I will, but I just want you to know it's not completely inevitable. They might keep me here to run drill sessions, or I might get posted somewhere else in the US." He drew a heavy breath and let it out slowly. "Do you want us to be serious?" he settled on asking her outright.

Leila looked at him. "Yeah, I do. I really like you. I want to keep spending time with you. Is that okay?"

Rob broke into a smile and nodded. "Yeah, of course it is. You just made me a really happy guy, you know," he told her and pulled her into kiss.

Leila kissed him back, her fingers still wrapped around his arms. "I'm glad, because you just made me a really happy woman, Littlerock. I can't wait until later when I get to curl up with you."

Rob laughed, looking down at her as he brushed her hair off her face. "So, when do you get off? How many rounds of hard liquor am I going to have to see through to the end of your shift? Or are you going to stick me with Diet Coke so my, uh, anatomy keeps working later tonight?"

"Do you want your anatomy to keep working?" Leila asked as she looked up at him. She turned her head to look at her watch, and sighed. "Ah, I have four more hours to go. Are you even going to want to sit through that many rounds? I could just call you when I'm done to make sure you're awake."

Rob shook his head. "Nah, I'll stay. Feed me Red Bull, and I should be able to hold out. Oh, and comfy chair would be appreciated, if there is one. Unless you want me to get out of your hair, in which case, I'll go home and watch The Simpsons or something."

Leila smirked. "Red Bull? Should I get worried you're going to grow wings and fly away? I don't want you out of my hair. I definitely want you in it. Stay. Please. Now it's my turn to ask." She raised up to kiss him. "I get another break later, so we can see what we can do then about getting you through the last part of my shift. There's comfy chairs out in the bar. The booths are really nice. I'll even kick someone out if I have to."

"Oh, really? Is it bad I want to see you get all rough with someone?" Rob asked with a mischievous grin, leaning forward so he could kiss up the side of her throat. "If I fall asleep, you're not allowed to draw a moustache on me. That's my only clause," he laughed, his hand sneaking down to her ass to give it a small squeeze.

"Mmhmm. And probably. You're a very naughty soldier, Sergeant Laird. I'm not sure what to do with you." Her hand moved to his shoulder, and she tilted her head back to give him better access to her throat. "I'm sure I can manage to resist... I'll just find some other way to amuse myself."

Rob continued to kiss softly beneath her ear, trailing the tip of his tongue over the places his lips had just be. "How long do you have left of our break now?" he asked her softly, his breath tickling over her skin. "Do we have time to amuse ourselves a little before you go back?"

"Yeah, this is supposed to be my dinner break," Leila laughed. "Food doesn't really have my interest right now, though." She slid a hand down his side, gripping at his camo pants. "I take it you got something in mind."

"That depends," Rob whispered against her ear. "Location, location, location. Is there any? As fun as it is to think about doing it in public, I can't in uniform," he told her, unable to hide the slight edge of disappoint in his tone. Some covert making out against a wall outside could have been really fun.

Leila smirked, and turned her head to catch his lips. "I think I might know a place, or two."

Words: 2869 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse

just_fck_me | 7.8 Booty Call

doesntwaltz — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:54:45 GMT

Co-written with tacticalmind

Rob let out a rough, heavy breath as he sunk back into his sweaty sheets, kicking the away from his legs where they had gotten tangled around his thigh. His heart was pounding in his chest and he swiped some perspiration off his forehead with his palm, staring up at the dark ceiling of his room. This totally sucked. It sucked huge balls. His date with Leila had been perfect in every way. Thinking back on it, he couldn't fault it. There might have been some slight hitches in conversation as they wove their way through deeper information about themselves, but that was all part of the fun of getting to know someone. They danced a lot, they ate a lot, and even ended up sharing both pieces of apple pie for dessert rather than have one each. He had walked her home, holding her hand the whole way, but when they got to her place, the decision was thrust upon them whether they should have sex, or leave it on a high.

At the time, kissing her goodnight and leaving it on a high seemed like the best option to Rob. Not that he expected the sex to end badly. He wasn't sure that was possible between them. The sex had been awesome, even considering he had been gagging for it after his ten month drought. But it had been sex, hadn't it? He had this sense that a date like theirs should end in making love, as cheesy and sugary as that sounded. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he honestly made love, even with his wife. Maybe in the early days of their marriage, but it had died off, gotten less and less. Obviously, considering the bitch had been fucking around on him. But that was the past. The here and now was Leila. Only, she wasn't here and now. He was alone in his studio apartment above his mate's place, having just struggled through an extremely unsatisfying jerk off. He had been left sparking after the date and was horny and restless when he got home. All that dancing pressed up close together, and the kisses, and sharing food... it had left him frustrated and doubting his decision to leave it at a good night kiss.

He growled softly in his throat and reached for a handful of tissues. He might have had an orgasm, but he didn't feel satiated at all. He pushed the sheets away from his body to clean himself up quickly. The sooner he got to sleep, the better. If he could even sleep. He was just reaching over to throw the tissues into his bin when his apartment buzzer sounded. He stilled and looked at the clock. It was after two am. "What the fuck?" he said softly, climbing off the bed. Hopefully Pete didn't have some sort of emergency.

Leila waited outside Rob's apartment, hoping like fuck he'd answer. Ever since he'd dropped her off, she hadn't been able to come down off the high of the date. Then there was the added complication of feeling like she needed to be pounded into the mattress with how horny she'd managed to get. She hadn't attempted to get herself off, playing the aroused martyr as she tried to sleep, and failed miserably. She just knew nothing would be as satisfying as being with Rob. Not anymore, and in a way she actually hated him for it.

She'd only pulled on a tank top and sweatpants before she'd left for his place, the idea of a booty call something that wasn't going to leave her alone. If nothing else it was worth a shot. What was the worse that could happen? She'd just have to get back in her car, and get herself off before driving home. She really hoped she wasn't about to make an idiot of herself. Leila pressed the buzzer again, getting a little impatient now that she was here.

Rob's stomach gave a small nervous flip. He really hoped someone wasn't bleeding or needing him to call 911. The buzzing was insistent, so rather than fumbling around in the darkened room for pants, he just unhooked his towel from the back of the chair in the corner of the room and wrapped it around his waist. It was summer, and two am. He was sure he wasn't the only guy who slept in the buff in summer. He hit the buzzer on the wall. "Yeah?" he said at the intercom, his voice hoarse from the small amount of broken sleep he had managed.

Leila breathed out a sigh as she rest her forehead against the wall next to intercom. She smiled a little, his voice sending shudders through her body. "You really need to open this door, Littlerock, or I'm not going to be held responsible if I just start masturbating on your doorstep."

Rob froze, his hand resting against the intercom button. He had to swallow as his dick immediately started to react, resting his head against the wall and counting to ten in his head. If she came up, there was no way he was going to resist her, no matter how much he was thinking he should try. But wasn't that what got him into this state in the first place. He still had a sheen of sweat over his body and his hair was sticking out all over the place now it had grown a little longer on his leave. He reached and flicked the light on. "Okay, come on up," he told her, hitting the button to unlock the downstairs door and unchained the door to this apartment, opening it up for her.

Leila didn't need to be told twice as the blonde made her way up. Her own hair was messy, Leila not taking any time to brush it before she was in the car. She figured if he could handle her like this, then it was golden. She was wearing her glasses though, not trusting her horny short-sighted self to make it this far without an accident if she wasn't wearing them. Leila stood at the threshold of his apartment and hesitated a moment before she stepped over it.

He had to be wearing a towel, didn't he? She bit her lip and moved towards him. "Hey. Sorry if I woke you up... Kind of wasn't thinking too straight on account of needing to have sex with you. I don't think there's rules that cover this part of the date... plus technically it's over. We're not actually breaking the date rule."

Rob's mouth was now hanging open a little. The horny buzzing through him was making his brain work just that little bit less than it would at two am, which wouldn't be much to start with anyway. Truth was, this was how he found her at her hottest. It was natural, and it was relaxed, and he did really love her glasses. "I was just, um..." he began but he didn't manage to finish. He stepped forward, pulling her into his arms and pressing her up against the wall in a heated kiss.

Leila's arms wrapped around him, and she kissed him back hungrily as she hooked her leg over his hip to bring him closer. She could feel every bit of muscle beneath his skin, the work outs he got with the Army definitely doing him justice. Any more words that were going to make it out her lips, didn't. As soon as he had her against that wall it was like her brain just didn't need to work anymore.

Rob broke the kiss, sucking in a sharp breath. He licked his lips, still tasting her there as he continued to feel his heart pounding in his chest. He searched her eyes, more than aware the small towel really wasn't going to be hiding the fact he was more than ready to give into the electric chemistry between them. "Um, sorry... why were you here again?" he panted, trying to pick through the hazy arousal in his head. He had already been well perving on her before she even spoke. This is what happened with UST and post-unsatisfying masturbation. Actually, he felt really impressed at the erection he was now sporting considering he'd only had an orgasm a couple of minutes before.

Leila smirked and pushed him away enough to tug her tank top up and over her head. She also toed out of her shoes and pushed her sweatpants down over her hips so she was standing before him naked. Leaving in a rush meant she'd conveniently forgotten her underwear. She gripped the back of his neck to pull him close again as she captured his mouth in a searing kiss, her tongue pushing past his lips to get a taste. "Booty call," she panted between kisses, her other hand gripping the towel and pulling it away from his body. Her hand found his erection, and her fingers wrapped around as she moaned low in her throat. "Do you mind?"

"Does it feel like I mind?" Rob growled and his head dropped back a little with a moan. How was it that her hand managed to feel a thousand times better than his own had? He thrust forward into her hand, unable to stop himself seeking some friction, especially now she was there and naked. His hands started to explore over her body, brushing over her hips to her waist. He held her against him, but he pushed a hand between them to cup her breast, trailing soft circles around her nipple before he leaned forward to take it into his mouth, his tongue lapping against it until it peaked to hardness. There was a tiny little voice in his head trying to warn him to slow down, but fuck that. Why did he need to slow down? It was just his misguided conscience. He needed this, he just had to let himself know it was okay to take it when it was given. He walked her backwards towards the bed. As hot as it would be to take her against the wall, he just wanted it on the bed.

"Good, because I'm not sure I can really stop right now..." Leila let out a choked moan as he teased her nipple, her fingers clawing at his skin. "I just really needed you... Fuck, I'm so wet and horny, and it's all your fault." There was no real conviction in her tone, her words coming out between pants and moans. It was true, though. She'd spent all night thinking about him, and now she was in a state because of it. She could feel her thighs slick with arousal, and all she really wanted was him inside her. She barely noticed when the mattress was suddenly up against her back, and she was lying down with Rob on top of her. Leila gave his cock a firm squeeze, her blue eyes dark behind the glasses as she looked up at him. "I missed you."

Rob smiled down at her, already rocking his hips softly against hers. "I had the most unsatisfying toss of my life tonight because of you," he revealed and reached up beyond her head to his drawer, grabbing out a strip of condoms. He shifted back so he was laying on top of her again and tore the wrapper open on the top on with his teeth. The condom was sitting loosely between his lips, but he was smirking at her around it as he reached between them, sliding his fingers inside her to feel how wet she was. He growled softly in his throat, brushing his thumb teasingly against her clit as he pressed his cock against her hip bone.

"I couldn't even get myself off tonight because I knew nothing but your dick was going to do." Leila's head tilted back as she arched up off the bed and tightened her legs around him. "So I guess we're even... Jesus, Rob..." She let go of his cock, her tongue sliding against her bottom lip as she writhed beneath him and gripped his shoulders. She wanted to kiss him badly, but with the condom between his lips, it wasn't going to happen. Instead she pulled herself up, turning her head in towards his neck as she licked at his throat and nipped at the skin.

Rob laughed, managing to keep a hold of the condom with his lips. If she kept vicing him with her legs like that, it was going to be impossible to get his hands down there to get it on. There was a brief flash of mischief in his eyes when he took the condom from his mouth and reached behind him to press it into her hand. "You put it on," he told her, his voice thick with the arousal he hadn't been able to shake all night.

Leila moved, relaxing her legs enough so that she could slide her hand behind them. She sucked in her stomach, looking down the lengths of their bodies as she rolled the latex down the length of his erection. She looked back up at him with a smile, and pulled him into a kiss now his mouth was free.

Rob kissed her back slowly, bringing the whole thing back down a notch. He wanted it to last, even if there was a risk they would both spontaneously combust in the process. He smoothed his hand down her body and reached under her to cup her ass, massaging it softly. He settled back between her legs, enjoying the fact she was so hot and wet for him. He rocked slowly with her, his cock sweeping against her slick folds. The kiss deepened as he positioned himself and then pulled her ass up as he entered her, taking her smoothly and deeply with a soft growl in his throat.

Leila pulled back so she could gasp, her arms tightening around Rob's neck as she held him close for a moment. There was definitely a danger of spontaneous combustion, but now she had what she wanted. He was inside her, and they were here together. She wet her full lips, her eyes closing briefly as she tried to catch her breath. She could do slow... right? It didn't have to be rushed. She hadn't even thought about after, if she would stay, or go. Booty call meant she had to leave, didn't it? Leila kissed him again, keeping it slow. A part of her wanted to ask, while the rest of her just wanted to focus on right now. It was the latter that won out as she squeezed her inner muscles around him.

When Rob started moving, it was slow and purposeful. He could sense a little that something was going through her mind so he eased out of the kiss, using his hand to tuck his fingers under her chin and tilt her head up so she could see his eyes. He smiled down at her and brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheek, holding her gaze for a few moments as he moved inside her with a slow rhythm. He dipped his head and started to kiss soft trails of kisses across her jaw to her throat, drinking in how amazing it felt to have her like this after imagining hot, sweaty fucking all night.

Leila almost expected her glasses to fog up with how intense, and hot things were. She reached blindly for them, pulling them off her face and only just managing to leave them on the bedside table. When Rob was this close, she didn't really need them. She touched his face in turn, feeling the slightest hint of stubble under her fingertips. This really wasn't how she'd imagined it to be when she'd decided on a booty call, but the truth was this was better. It was infinitely better. Leila murmured his name softly, and repeatedly, her hands running over his shoulders and back.

Rob was strong enough to pull himself up slightly and shift his hips so that each time he pulled out and entered her again, his cock brushed lightly against her clit. It did take some concentration, but he was already focused on every inch of her body and trying to make her feel good... make them both feel good together. That's what it was all about. Yeah, it could be a booty call, but it didn't have to. It could be post-date sex... lovemaking. He remembered her saying she maybe hadn't done that before, or hadn't done that in a long time. Maybe it wasn't even that, but it was something between them and he wanted to hold onto that and feel it in the way they were together physically. His lips found hers again and he kissed her, swirling his tongue against hers and indulging in the way she tasted and felt beneath him, and wrapped around him.

Something was coiling tight in the pit of Leila's stomach besides desire, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. This felt different to any other time she'd been with someone, like it had something all the others had been lacking. Maybe it was just the fact that they'd bonded already, their instant connection still carrying over despite the few moments of awkwardness on the dates. There was nothing akward about this, and Leila was getting closer and closer to coming undone. As the kissed eased off, she met his gaze, biting down on her lip as she pushed her feet against the bed. She could feel warning tingles already building, and wanted this to last just a little bit longer.

When the kissed burnt out again only from the sheer need of oxygen, Rob rested his forehead against hers with a smile. He brushed another couple of brief, small kisses to her full lips, holding her gaze as he slid rhythmically in and out of her, taking her deeply each time to try just that little bit more to connect them with each thrust. Their skin was damp with sweat from an exertion neither probably realised. It wasn't an effort, that was the difference, and why it wasn't just raw sex. He felt like there were some words on the tip of his tongue, but they weren't quite coming to fruition. It didn't matter, though. He walked his fingertips over the soft skin of her torso, mapping out the curves of her body, and then tracing them around the swell of her breasts, all the while still hold their gaze and keeping his gentle rhythm of deep strokes within her.

Leila slid her arms under his, wrapping them around Rob's torso as she felt a shudder rip through her body. She couldn't hold off any longer, and kept her gaze locked in his as her hips bucked and she moaned his name. Her legs locked around him, holding him deep inside her as her muscles clamped down around him, and clenched with aftershocks. She was still murmuring his name as she panted, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she smiled up at him.

Watching her come, and feeling her clenching tightly around him was what tipped Rob rapidly over the edge. Another smile appeared right before his eyes fell closed and he rested his head against her shoulder. His groaned softly as all the sensations pooled between his legs and with a couple more heavy thrusts, trying to indulge just a little longer in her wet warmth around him, he exploded inside her, his breath exiting him in an exerted rush. His cock pulsed deep inside her, draining him and as he came down from the peak, he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her into a tight embrace, his face still resting against her shoulder, and he pressed his lips against her skin in a soft kiss.

Leila turned her head to rest it against his as she closed her eyes, trying like hell to remember every single part of this moment, and how Rob felt inside her. A tiny part of her wished there hadn't been a condom, but that was just playing with fire. She swept her hand down his back, and kissed his temple as she broke out into a smile again. "I'm sure I'm supposed to say something right now, but I can't really think of anything that makes sense," she whispered.

Rob laughed softly, rubbing his fingers slowly up and down her arm. "S'okay... I think words left me with the orgasm," he murmured, swallowing to wet his throat. He was reluctant to move. He hadn't felt this nice in a long time, and he was still inside her. "This is real nice," he added in a whisper. "I should have come in, back at your place. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Hey, it's okay. I mean, it might not have been this hot if you did. You were right about the waiting." Leila opened her eyes to look at him, still keeping her voice low. "So what if it was only a few hours?"

Rob was fighting off that urge to fall asleep. He told his ego it was because it was approaching 3am and nothing to do with the fact he had just had a spectacular orgasm. "Stay," he said softly, still not releasing the embrace. "Stay with me."

Leila nodded, relief making her let out a rush of air. "I wasn't sure... I wanted to, but I didn't know if you'd want me to."

Rob carefully pulled out of her, resting on his side to remove the condom and discard it in a tissue into the bin. He was back by her side in an instant, wrapping himself around her again and pulling the sheets up over them. "I want you," he whispered. "I want you to stay."

Leila smiled as she wrapped her arms around his and relaxed against him. "You sure? We're not breaking any rules, are we? I don't want you to feel... I don't want you to feel rushed."

"I'm allowed to break my own rules," Rob murmured, smirking softly as his blue eyes closed again. He rested his leg over hers, their feet sliding together under the sheets. "And that wasn't fucking, so it doesn't count."

Leila smirked, rubbing her hand against his arm as she let her eyes fall closed and felt her breathing began to even out. "So if it's not fucking, it doesn't count? I think I like that rule... I like whatever it was."

Rob was all but asleep, his head tucked in against her cheek. "No rules for lovemaking..." he mumbled in clarification, just before the events of the night caught up with him and sleep claimed him, causing him to go out like a light with his arms wrapped securely around her.

Words: 3815